The weight on his heart he loved his family
Not sure how to make the wrong right
Someone was always mad with no given reason
Holding a grudge till death the only way
More silent treatment with hate filled glares
The cold shoulder with icy vibrations
Sorry isn't enough giving a bad attitude space
Not dealing with tempers or putting up with temper tantrums
Living life no need for a guilt trip
Pursing love and passion not feeding egos
Waiting around to be accepted will never happen

Of course "you think you're better than me. Why don't you act like it." He said in a heated argument. He didn't have much but worked hard and thankful for what he had. He'd rather do his own thing than bother with everyone's drama and criticism. He became immune to being alone he found peace. When people called or texted him they wanted or needed something it did rub him the wrong way. Giving his all and expecting nothing in return was more demanding when all he wanted was to be left alone.

New ways of life adapting and adjusting to the change. New chapters a new book can't keep reading the same book the ending will never change. Knowing the outcome time for a new outlook perspective on life.
New friends missing the old cut off those ones wishing they'd stay.
Everyone moved on finally doing the same. Holding on and squatting won't get you anywhere. Just falling behind trying to catch up. Matter make a difference so much opposition.

Determined to make it through the day. Enjoy the next three days off composing ones self and coped with all the anger frustration let it all go. Not worthy of holding onto letting go of those that disrupt his inner peace.
Watching them crumble before his eyes. Staying composed not quick to surrender to evil now a peacemaker instead of the chaos of others.

Working to pursue a dream
Lots of body aches and pains
On this journey to somewhere new
Can't stay stuck in the old looping past
Doing less work for him talked about
Doing too much still had them talking
All the pain faded but still intense
All the drama no longer welcomed
Taking over trying not to fail
Not be consumed by angered frustration

He wrote to stay sharp
His face showed no emotions
Thinking of his next move
Writing to focus distracted by others
They came at him but he didn't react
He didn't respond to the negativity
Staying positive focused on growth
Stood talk tired of being brought down
Let them do their thing much respect
While focused on his not phased
They made it he was happy for them
He made it got ignored but use to it

All you wanted was to make it
Share that moment with everyone
All they did was ruin it look down on you
From caring too much to not giving a ****
You valued them always much love
Now all they do is hate on you
The disrespect made it easier to step
Not giving them a reason to talk
No longer enabling them to have a say
Staying away doing more than before
Free to do whatever not married
Able to enjoy life no kids choices were made
He worked hard trying to get paid
Made more so about anyone anymore
Stayed out got more confidence
Brought in feeling drained not the stepping stone
No longer the scapegoat found closure
Being a rebel alone getting it done
Making it fun over complicated drama

He always wanted to change the outcome. No say or control just saying be better next time the moment passed. The bounce back took a while hard to shake these hard feelings rough emotions questioning what is wrong and where did it all go wrong. If he was able to pin point that moment be able to let go let loose. His mind was his safe space but sometimes an escape room with looping thoughts with no hints on how to exit within a timely manner.
So many questions but not enough answers that matched what was being said.

Waiting around ready to get out of town
On the road and no where need home
Can't go back but no where to go
Judge for being different but not following
Why fit in when the rules keep changing never in my favor
Not playing anymore walking away is the best way to be free
Think what hurts most is this hate is coming from the ones I love
I think highly of them but they don't see me as anything
like glass looking right through me trying to break me shatter into a million pieces
Works for them not working for me
Always adapt and adjust so much broken trust
The anger is blocked out because overreaction means they got the best of you by being just like them
In such a phase sometimes overwhelmed in a daze. Sharing my thoughts feelings everyone sees it like a craze phase. One gets them to gang up on you they can't beat you alone
The one who's sending the hate ain't anything just pretending to be great.
You don't answer or respond now they act surprised not giving into the lies or making excuses a sorry alibi

Don't want the girl who's damaged
She always belong to someone else
Spent time with you till she found someone better
She finds you great when you have someone new
Temper to cheat but it won't be anything more
Love her more when someone calls her a *****
Shares her body but no emotions
Intoxicating personality hard to live without
Live without her everything don't feel right
Nothing to offer or give feels like you'll never win
Happiness that warm feeling like a light
Burns out find the strength to revive
Find a new world to survive

In a mustang driving fast
**** the price of gas
Riding with my guitar
Lets see how far we go
Blasting loud music
Feeling the beat
Go for a ride along the coast pch
Cruising clearing the mind wondering
Hoping thing change
find what I'm looking for
Days are fresh but nights more refreshing
Write and ride freedom and expression
Finish up feeling much better
Getting there going to the place meant to be

You start a family leave me out
I respect it but have my doubt
You get a girl who's been around
Ditched a friend left in the background
I don't like you wife but it's your life
I respect you but dislike your partner
I stay away all I can do or say
I've been true and you live rotten blue
You put yourself there so blame yourself
Don't soil my good name
you do wrong or bad make me out to be the scapegoat
You cheat how's that my fault I wasn't there
When I'm there you fight with your partner
Nobody wants to here that or cares
Ruin my fun good time

3 days off enjoying my alone time
I've given so much need to recharge
Confidence in others runs short
Going my way over being pushed aside
Thoughts of what to do next
Bouncing around ideas
How to put the master plan in motion
The more I stall emotionless feelings surface
Locked in my room listening to music
Watching my fave film
Creating my sitcom script
Writing monologues
Sharing my experiences hoping others laugh understand

If things workout be a step dad or get to stepping
Trying to be a boss tired of idiots above me
I've been good I can be better see more for myself
Elders dont want to give it up their time has passed
Self respect means trusting yourself not lusting
I've faced my fears hoping success is near by
Doing alright not straying too far
Not giving into temptation even if frustration is too overwhelming
Be better give your all over coming up short
Overachieving to come up average
Made my choice blockin out the voices that tell me otherwise

Ready to go home over the drama
Ready to leave see my mama
My time is done time to have some fun
Spoke my mind told the truth don't need to run
No need to blame it on the alcohol to make a drunk call
Always the same but the filter breaks under the influence telling the truth everyone gets so defensive
Called them on their shady ways not they made plotting revenge to make me pay
Already honest and modest not putting up with all this taking it all in because you going through some BS sorry you choose to go through and settle for less
The time is up going home don't need to listen to everyone issues get the tissues this is work leave at the at home. Focus on the job your are a mess at least pretend you are grow. Shut up work get paid who knows you might get made paid more so hang in there until next time off the clock got to go

The best feeling is escaping those feelings
Not letting them consume me or run me down
I've seen worse and thankful that's not me
I'm stuck in a cycle of obsession I want to break out
The world in front of me if full of surprises
While the past full of failed out comes I can't change.
I'm into creating but not moving in the present
Too much anger and hate keeping me from seeing the good
I waste my time fighting and arguing with idiots because I want to be right
going out of my way to prove they are wrong even if it means losing track of what matters
I felt a weight and burden life off my heart
I'm happy and deserve even if others try to take it by ruining my day or taking shots at my bullet proof self esteem
My mind likes new and different oppose to just being here waiting time or observing others
It's become my fix since I don't drink human behavior interests me theres always a reason to every answer but that's just my opinion
I'm normal not any different then the average **** walking the street
Ppl bully but that's the defense to the insecure
I'm not that person I was as a child I've grown and seen much more my experiences are lessons I've learned from.

Sleep and rest is the best feeling
Thinking what to write next
Do I have it in me to write something great
Ideas come to mind all late
Over writing about heart break
Ive written about my passions what I love
I write about change how I can make a difference
The change I want for myself
Where I want to be and how to get there
Plans to make my future happen
How ive grown apart feelings of isolation

I don't fear death I feel dead inside. I've changed my way of living the person I use to be us gone I no longer care to drink or get the urge to do so.
I've learned to deal with my emotions instead of drown them out. I wish I could say whatever but can't someone is always on my case trying to justify they are right when I disagree.
I'm my own individual but no one wants me to shine for that. I'm not popular but know I could bust my *** to new levels other think its hand to me but its not time and time again I prove myself worthy.
I'm not starting over or stepping aside too many time others mistake my kindness for weakness. Ppl treat me like I'm worthless but they are useless to all this false talk and promise not honoring your word get the heck out of here you leading misleading  ****

I'm not always able to share
Or treated fair
My problem is because I care
Too much not settling for less
I hate to cry and say goodbye
Left asking why hate waitin for next time
I let go onces it over
Do my best stay sober
I want you in my life
Once was has nothing to do with now
Turn the page no more rage
Stay in mind think of the words to say
Meet again I think of you till that day

He asked for their opinion and all they did was knock him. They showed no interest in his passion. It angered him took it like they did not believe in him. He was always respectful and supportive of others. He know listening and holding back would get him no where so he focused on what he loves and continued to prove them wrong. He had taken way more risks than most.
He didn't get mad but got better. He did the work while they criticised him. He didn't let them bother him he used the negative to write get out this burden they casted upon him.
He always turned a negative into a positive. He would not let their bad attitudes infect his day.

I don't kiss *** but I do bust my ***
Id rather be ahead instead of coming out even
Thankful for everyday tomorrow:  get the day off
Its been a while since I've had time to myself
Thinking of ways to change up the same old routine
Everyday is a new day id like thing to change not sure how
Following the rules doing everything right
watch others cut corners and do wrong
Too legit to quit its not going down or back
Focused on the future hoping things change for the better

Time wasted making up for lost time
Waiting ends strive for the moment
Make it mine overcome achieve
Believe in yourself time for talk is over
Actions empower others most of all myself
Not listening to negative
Do it because they said it couldn't be done
Fight dig deep to more give your all
More than enough taking on the tough times

Space between friends is okay
One day is fine you think give them time
A week passes you wonder if everything is alright
Almost a month no work you begin to think if you did something wrong
Make a call no answer the person usually answers right away
You wait for the call back still no word
You send a text still no response back
Still no word you'd help if you knew or do what you can
The time flys by you friends doing his own thing
Friends don't always grow together but grow apart
Forming their own circles new crowd with similar interests
The day you stop talking you have to move on
Everyday hoping to hang or unit
The day you do things aren't the same
Or don't feel right the days of childhood
Are a memory even though you'd rather live than forget

Things will never be the same
Rise above the pain overcome shame
Fading memories over come regret
Drop the burden hard to forget
No more giving my love to the wrong
where it's not valued the hurt turns to strength
Find your own way live another day
Who gives a **** what they have to say
Alive within instead of going the flow
As long as you're moving away from the bad
Pursuing your passion call me old fashioned
doesn't matter how slow do something
All I had helped me grow don't need it anymore
Keep working don't like to be broke
Keep hustling others want you to choke
Gave them the benefit of the doubt
All the drama can do without
You talk down on me think you're better than me so act like it because you're fake
Everyone can see through you're act no need to front
Keep it real told the truth you are not about that
That's why you hate on me give me the third degree
Not a yes man don't buy into the BS
Refuse to follow and settled for less

Feel free analyzed the things that bothered me it was a relief to escape and pour it out not holding back. Sometimes the mind makes things more than what they really are.
I've been writing about my struggles and things that hold me back. I heard you want change you change the way you think. I've been wanting to do things I put on hold because of work. I do have a life outside of work. If I'm not working I focus on JJ its my other passion along with writing.
I **** at relationships I kept using the past relationships thinking they are the standard but they failed so they are not an option. I've been getting to know this girl and not making it anything more than what is in front of me.
Everyday I write and give myself room to grow and think what I truely want for myself. Not pressuring myself taking time to figure it out. Thankful I'm able to laugh and smile not stressing over things that are beyond me I'm taking on what I can handle.

All angles and perspectives many views
Get it out clear the mind
Doesn't matter if it's right or wrong
By the end feel sharp and strong
Focus on what is important
Efforts towards goals
Achieve the dream
The reason to live
Purpose with meaningful vibes
Survive feel born again
New way of life that makes sense
Find more like minded people
That's help one get there
Just escape arrive to the destination

My family makes me feel like an orphan
The oldest treated like I don't belong
I'm the bad influence when I experience life
Talked about and left out
Told I can't but prove them wrong
Treated like I can't do anythig right
Keep trying not going to lose the fight
Excluded for years I find my own
Judged for being different while everyone the same
I got most of the blame for your actions
Family don't treat good and that's not right
Going away no one cares if I stay
I helped day by day they won't have me anyway

The water flows the sound of birds chirping. The rocks beneath water reflection. The clouds and sky beaming off the water. The green trees full of life. The ground full of roots and dirt fresh giving from the rich soil

Feel lost without a cause
Question my purpose
Need to know my reason
Wonder about my role
Been there done that
Want more out of life
Win lose the feelings aren't forever
Happiness in this life
Into something better
Ask for more not settling for less
Change for the best
Answer your calling
No more time for stalling

Get it all out through writing staying sane peace win
Evil thought come out holding them in is a sin
Burn you up inside something you live with not trying to be implosive
Unexpressed emotions could be explosive
A struggle within caused by hypocrites
Be yourself don't let them win they want to play mind game
Give them a piece if mind mind their own business
Not getting a rise or getting hate too late for the comment
Quick to point out stuff already living or going on why is it wrong now all of a sudden
You want to hurt others that you must be bored your power is like an unplugged extension cord

Set out to achieve a goal
Seeking the right people
Be better than before
Never the same
Keep moving forward
Feels like time is running out
Over all the worry and doubt
Mind is racing overdrive
Not knowing or showing emotions
Things are not a sure thing anymore
Call out escape the struggle
Not looking back or allowing to be pulled back
Heart never set because it's not meant to be
Not focused on who I was but focused on who I've become living in the moment.
Looking back is yesterday
Looking ahead is not always promised
Live in the moment appreciate the current.

I don't really have a type but the kid of girls that grab my eyes do jujitusu or play softball. I like tough girls but when they are with you they are caring and sensitive away from the sport. Not into physical feature but I like big eyes and a cute smile. A big ***** is a bonus but I don't have a type just saying that's what catches my eye. I like mixed half something mix that makes interesting that's another way to see unique it's the personality that is a deal breaker you can be the most beautiful person ever but if you have a crap personality you are ugly. I've learned you need to be humble treat people. Stop letting your insecurity consume you and your happiness.
I'm not use to compliments but I rarely give them out when I do it really impressed me or caught my eye. I'm not quick to say I love you unless I mean it or my feelings are true. I don't use people or have a hidden agenda it's true or nothing.it makes things easier too bad it's complicated for others. I tell the truth not what you want to hear. I like honesty but it's so hard to come by not picky but if you treat me right I'll be good to you communicate don't pick and choose when you want to be involved with my life. As I get older the dating world is slim pickings I usually want them and they don't want me. Or they want me but I'm not interested or emotionally available.
My friends say put yourself out there I do it's like I pop up when everyone is taken or going through a break up giving me their worse I work with it but they go back or quick to get with someone else because they can't handle being alone.
Times have changed when I wanted friends with benefits everyone wanted to get serious now I'm looking for something serious and everyone wants to be in an open relationship. I don't like sharing taking people serious or don't waste their time.

Give my heart to someone else
Like you did
You found love why can't I
Your beauty on the outside
Damaged within
You told me secret so you could be free
No more caring the burden of broken trust
I believe in love not just a lust
A broken crush hard to trust
I tried to be perfect
while you let me down all the time
You say I do and wish you the best with the new
I'm glad to have known you
On my own on my way
My true love is my career
Being able to pave my way with out
Wasting my day but your never coming back

I feel a struggle within
Two mind sets on on health the on a career
Only if the two would weave together
Instead of repellent for one another
Don't like how everythings like a contradiction
Not sure how to handle the situation
But know it must be done!
I want things to change and frustrated it hasn't happened.
More time spent on becoming someone I'm not
Instead of being the person I'm meant to be
Don't be this way don't do that
I'd like to be hearing that's what you should be doing ir your doing right on the path to destiny

Have you ever loved someone youd do anything.
You treat them well and everything they do destroys you
You love them but they dont love themself
Give it your all trying to do right by their side
You want to reach out by theyll reject you like if they are so righteous
All you ever did wrong was care and want their companionship

Hard to trust after being done *****. He forgave them but they kept up the same scam. Giving him the silent treatment when they got caught up now they are mad at him for telling the truth. As they kept lying and blaming everyone else.
He didn't drink anymore but everyone with their failed relationships and bad habits trying to justify everything. More nonsense that didn't hold him down or back. He was not easily fooled their actions were louder than all the shouting and complaining. It was their life how is it anyone's fault for their actions. It was annoying everything got really bad instead of better. He made mistakes but learned not to say or do anything because of the negative influences that tried to mock his way of life. Provoke him to over react when he knew that he didn't ask for advice and not react nor empower toxic behavior

It was over but he wasn't scared to start over
He had so much knowledge gained from the experience
He didn't want to leave anything behind
Moving on was easy started over before
He feared his past would come back to haunt him
People reminding him who he was
The new wasn't given a chance
Trying to move on but can't constantly reminded

Not the same anymore
Ppl talking lies not able to trust
Actions that made things personal
Rather than seek revenge cut the cord
Claiming to love you but with another
Wanting to show love selectively
After causing hurt same bad behavior
Not rewarding toxic living with good
Empowering corruption manipulation

He didn't say or do anything but still ******* people off. They had more going on and came at him wrong. He didn't have much but thankful for what he had. Made the most of things he never made anyone a target he minded his mouth and business.
They came at him sour he just looked the other way when he checked them they would play the victim. Called them on their BS now they are mad sending more shady his way. He did his own thing not worried about anyone else that tried to make him doubt himself.
Wanting in his head and all they do is twist his words not listening or caring what he said it was insulting to try to tell him how to act and feel rather than understand what was going on.

He looked in the mirror asking "*** happened?" Lots of curve ***** and detours. He had one victory after many losses. He got too old for things the things that gave him joy lost meaning.
Putting others first made him feel worthless trying to be selfless. Doing what's right focused on bettering his life and situation. The crazy world he lived in killed him off. What's existing didn't make sense or matter anymore.

He stood in the room with his oppressors
Not listening or interested in their opinion
He didn't acknowledge them because they shut him out
Trying to tell him how to act and who to be
When he did nothing wrong
This wasn't the first time
He never said anything about them
They called him ghetto and delusional
He forgave them this time he'd cut the cord
He learned his lesson this time around
They didn't talk to him he was use to being ignored
He was use to their worse so he wasn't surprised anymore
They had way more going on it didn't make sense why they came at him
They never helped quick to make things seem worse than what they are

Grew up around the cholos
Told to be down for yours
Never had their **** together
Making up rules in their favor
Living by the rules of the street
Never cared for that life got in too deep
Some slanging to hustle easy money
Others banging to be territorial
Life or death life on the edge
Grew up hood always misunderstood
Called ghetto for keeping it real
Seen a crazy for standing your ground

Why do people cheat? Some are married and kids. While others don't have that and want that. It's hard work to get a home some don't want that responsibility or never shown how to get there.
Some have it all and quick to look down on those who are working for it. Talk bad about others but have everything going on for them. It never made any sense. Like if their judgement will make the world better or forgive them for their wrong doings.
So many hidden agendas only in it for their personal gain. Never helping anyone just bashing people for not living up to their ideal standard they are not happy with

Why was it an issue when he was going through something. Everyone had troubles and included everyone. It was no one's business but their own. He was a private person he didn't burden or bother anyone.
He enjoyed his peace cutting people off. Tired of jealous people comparing and judging others. Work for yours and do your own thing he strongly believed. He's been doing the work for years but not sure what to do with it. Writing on a few platforms speaking on his podcast. His outlets ways to express himself without his words being twisted giving others an excuse to talk because they had too much time on their hand

He fell in love with her soul turns out she was soul less another life lesson
Told her how he felt she became heartless
Jealous she had so many guy friends
Called her on it called him a player
She tried to say he called her a ***
So got mad held a grudge a big NO NO
All he wanted was her while she went with everyone else
Pain and misery remains rise above torment
Tarnished love not meant to be onto something better

He was tired of being numb
Years of writing skinning the issues
Now gutting them talking about it
From thinking it was foolish
That's how it played out
His heart fooled believing one thing
But their actions told another story
He hated being wrong but it happens
Wanting it things turned out different
Accepting it was hard to take in
Feelings and emotions became unsettling

He gave up his dream for love and it didn't work out. Learning to love himself trying to get back on track. He's not far from success but knows it will take hard work to get there. Battled up hill battles and struggled to make it through make it to the end the others side no where to run or hide. He couldn't avoid his destiny when the people he loved became a distraction. More road blocks and obstacles he didn't need or want the toxic to destroy his vision.

They come at you it's whatever
You spoke up against them your crazy
Avoiding the drama all the insanity
Faded out as they pretend to care
When your involved it's a problem
When they make calls keeping you out
Staying humble while everyone is still mad
Holding a grudge a one sided arguments
A conversation that was never had just blaming and pointing fingers
Size doesn't make you smart or better
Intimidating others doesn't get you anywhere
Having money doesn't make you a better person you can't by morals or respect
Don't BS people some see through the act too bad you lie and cheat selling yourself short
Knocking others doesn't make you a better person
Always excluded and ignored he learned to stay out of it not needing anything from anyone since no one was genuine

They have you nothing now they are mad you made the most of everything. Once you start bettering yourself they don't want you doing better than them. Anything you do bothers them no one cares or paying attention to them. They keep talking just keep ignoring them don't react because once you give them attention it ends up being a waste of your time.
It will fuel them to talk since they haven't done anything relavent.
Just keep doing your own thing from the bottom to the top don't stop. After being denied all you could do is keep working for it.

Years of being counted out
Being ignored hated every minute
No one listening feeling insulted
Being talked over not being heard
Told them what's up no one cared
Always excluded treat unfair
Working on the side lost in the hustle
Trying to get it together on the Dlow
No one gives credit but ready to take it
Being disconnected making a stand
Everyone latching on when things are good
Leaving you with their bad trying to drain your positivity