Tired of the criticism never said anything. Annoyed being rushed, doing more seen as less. Always the outsider looking in. Writing while analyzing life looking at everything. He didn't want their approval need to go through them. They stood in the way being roadblocks.
Why were they surprised when he plowed through them. They provoked him he stood his ground as they bullies an opponent that wasn't fighting back.

Thinking what to say it plays in his head. His mind loops, he's rehearsing his lines. He wanted to come off confident and strong. Looking in the mirror; making ****** expressions working on the vocal tone.
Feeling confident about this a nice change in his routine looking for something new and refreshing.

Not always feeling this way analyzing compacted emotions late reactions. Not a **** up or brown noses working harder to shine from the bottom. Looking at the top can't stay down forever. A contender determined to be a champ, doing his best not settling for less.
Blinded sided side tracked working to get it all back. From down not out crazy enough to come back for more. All heart and reps drilling for killing the motions, emotions going strong on the go on the road never home.

Not talking about anyone just expressing a concern. On how the situation, made things awkward unsettling. Determined to be right talking about everyone like it's justified. Standing alone was better than living a lie. Never been populate big on individualism would rather be different than the same.
He wasn't happy with himself he didn't expect anyone to do it.
He had to do it himself. He wasn't responsible for her happiness because she wasn't happy with her decisions. He tried but most of all tried not to blame himself.
Even though she was quick to blame him. It was easier for him to be single in than in a relationship. Not use to checking in or asking. He didn't think his actions would effect his relationship. She didn't trust him always assuming the worse while trying to be at his best. He was open to change but didn't like who he was becoming. He would take his loved ones opinions into consideration. She was never satisfied and made him feel like he wasn't good enough.
Feeling numb with the wrong person he ended it she said NO she needed to be the superior one and ended it. Trying to fix a failed relationship was tough but needed to be done.

He hated the holidays because he lost loved ones. Everyone gets socially awkward copes differently. He just remembered the good times. While others got drunk or belittled others to feel secure about themselves.
He couldn't honor their death everyone cracked beers at the cemetery.
He went on his own time and randomly. He enjoyed the quiet remembering loved ones praying to God for peace and closure. Preferred to be alone than be around people; who tried to tell him, how to act, or feel. It was insulting to be around people; who thought less of him. Ignored him because the focused on material possessions than intellect.

Things would never be the same not pretending to be okay. It was wrong for anyone to say anything, He minded his mouth and business. Faded away not bothering just staying out of the drama. Looking at art questioning the artist respectfully.
As a creative person I wonder about the process because I could write for hours but drawing is an obsession of the details show without explaining.
Putting your heart soul and being into the art piece writing for me is like putting together a puzzle putting feelings and emotions together. Sometimes they connect other times it takes a while for things to link up.

Applied for that job day time hours
Reached out to the person connected
Seen the girl he was crushing on
Tired of putting his life on hold
Around family so alone feeling dull
Lonely in a crowded room invisible
Couldn't be more being chopped down
Couldn't be less taking criticism
An opinion that would be ignored
His different perspective denied
All they did was complain a power struggle
Expecting change but not wanting to change

Sometimes you have to cut ppl not because they are bad but because they try to knock everything you stand for. The toxic behavior and attitude bringing bad vibes when you work for good vibes. Lots of growth no room for set backs, or helping others that don't want to change. Expect you to give up, who you are when they aren't happy. Tell you that you are no good to feed their ego. Call you crazy for not giving into their demands. Delusional because you don't care for their way. Trying to say we are alike playing mind games. Trying to take control when you don't give in they try to influence, how others see you.
They try to tell you how to live, but not living the life they are try to instruct. Talk about everyone being two faced. Not bothering with all that ******* easier to walk away not feed or empower the foolish ego.
Thinking they can tell people, but don't like when people speak up; have an opinion of their own. Ignorance makes a scene while selfless stays calm and collected.

Focused on his blessings tired of taking on people that wasted his time. They didn't help him and he didn't owe them anything. He put his life in hold so many distractions doing things that he didn't have to do. He thought it matter turns out it wasn't him and it didn't do him any favors.
Happy for others when he made moves, or planned things no one got behind him. He was always supportive but when he had ideas they'd be shut down told he was crazy making what he wanted seem pointless like a waste of time.
He was always determined at work but thought use that energy to finish school. He wanted to learn and apply it. Always writing made him happy he got lost in it. Staying positive creating wanting to publish his work. Shared many thoughts ideas.
Started to draw using colors and paint another way to get out all the stuff within instead of being self destructive. Like a bomb ready to explode imploding within. Trying to do what's right not take anything personal.

Changing his mindset; way of life, too many assume; who he is rather than get to know him. He focused on that work trying not to complain get caught up in the drama. It rubbed him wrong when people who claim to no like one another being all fake and phony with one another.
Would rather be alone then pretend to be someone others made up about your reputation. Let them make a fuss my reaction or emotion focused on doing your own thing.

Told the same old stories. ready to move onto new. Start a new book rereading doesn't change the end. Time to change change book new journeys and adventure just like living life. Embrace the new instead of the same daily stale routine. Changing it up with some luster and surprise.

Drawing trying to see it feel it in his head. From the pencil on the page letting go of raw emotions that are pent up. Letting go of all the toxic bad people. He wanted to retaliate but realized it was a waste of time. They'll get triggered to justify their actions. They have hate boiling and burning on the back burner. Ready to serve it but not taking it or interested in what's being dished out.

He didn't expect them to change because he knew they wouldn't. All they do is act like they are okay when things are ******* up. Hidden emotions trying to stay calm act like things are okay. He respected them while they tried to destroy others. He had been self destructive so he knew he understood.
The struggle with addiction not falling back into bad habits while developing new ones. From social to selective not trusting so easy anymore.

Reading for ideas and had an inspiring conversation. He had written so many books. Writing with pen and filling his notebooks with ideas and sharing all the things he wish he could've or should've said. his goal was to publish something seeing his name on the cover some of his artwork. He enjoyed the creative process something he could be proud of all his effort time spent working alone.

He wrote because it was his way to vent get ideas out. It wasn't a sad story contest so the person could make it about themselves. He didn't care for people who said one thing but did the opposite. He was sorry bad things happened, but didn't like when people use it as a tool. Making others to feel sorry foe them, so they could get attention. His problem was putting others first and after they got their way they'd walk away acting like their bad behavior is justified.

Watching her with another guy drove him crazy. He was hurt he didn't know how to fix it make things right. All he knew was that is over. Feeling foolish and betrayal thinking he found love. Its like they set you up and mess with your confidence. Feeling good thinking you are something you're not. Making you doubt yourself playing games because they got played. Trying to manipulate you but learned not to react give them the satisfaction. They cheated their way it will comeback to them.
The truth will come out exposing them. Working for something long term while they lie snake their way for short term.

Reflecting last year focused on the new
Good bye to old friends can't hold on anymore
Always reaching out reviving and reaching out over one sided
Tired of the two faced people
Talking about everyone
Acting like they are loyal
Learning to say NO over being used
Took too much last year
Taking on things that matter
Let go of those toxic vibes
They are draining not worth feeding
How does a person not trust
Trying to take a selfie
Pretending to be close
Can't speak truth but everybody lies
Why are people okay with that?
Try to trigger not giving it attention
Focused on goals that make sense
Make dreams a reality keep working
Stop being distracted by people
All grind no gimmick

Missing his best friend
It ended over a lusting girl
They use to be a team
Have one another's back
One was sorry feeling back
The other holding a grudge
Throwing the mistake in his face
Giving up part of himself
Holding himself accountable
Still not forgiven guilty conscience
Not able to be in the same room
One kept silent let his rep die
With altered behavior never again
The other with bad habits
Mouth flapping spewing lies
Bashing others with manipulation
Departed different ways separate lives

Journals on deck filling those pages
Feeling built up taking down walls
Emotions bleed through ink
Put them up to keep others out
Feeling trapped escaped the pain
Moved on getting out new mindset
Find someone new that accepts you
A healthy relationship with true love
Be yourself the right ones will follow
The snakes and phonies fade away
Out of the comfort zone next level
Writing sets you free try to visualize it
Believe feel it from deep down

Back to work he hated half assing it he was all in or nothing. Rested from vacation trying not to get mad or upset with anyone because of their bad decisions that fell on him. Getting ready for the day seize the moment. His new bed all the back pain was minimal everything would tighten up but bearable. Trying to squeeze in training and work was going to be a challenge.

The so called homies that stole to feed their bad habits from a funeral fund. Thankful for your help you aren't owed anything. The disrespect to the lost one. Not able to visit or celebrate his life on his passing everyone turns it into happy hour making a fool of themselves.
Its calmed down some have multiple strikes not taking that risk. Others having families being forced to grow up.
Everyone talks about being down or about the crown. Times have changed drugs and beer runs are not cool. Working hard being responsible is more respectable then those short term highs and drinking during the lows.
Grew up around homies wasn't a normal child hood to others but normal part of the heritage.

Told you are like family its a scary thing because some family treats you right while others treat you like you don't matter. Fighting for your place making it easy for you to walk away. Disappear when things are bad ignored when things are going well. Tired of enabling rewarding bad behavior. The scapegoat no more not taking the blame for others life taking on what matters or what one can handle.
Doing what you love what makes you happy. Keeping life simple not complicating things. Staying out of others affairs don't care to mediate or listen because not one to tell a person what they want to hear but what they need to hear. Always respectful of the situation. Don't bad mouth a person you look like an idiot; when you go back acting like things are fine when they are truly worse off.
Mean what you say and say what you mean. Being observant your actions tell another story while your mouth lies spewing out another false narrative.

He loved his family but didn't want to hear all the arguing. No one got alone everyone spoiled and entitled while he worked hard for his. Always felt excluded when things are going well. But never got any love or support for it.
Things were bad everyone would include him when he didn't care or want to be involved. It wasn't his business because he didn't care. If he tried to be supportive he would be ignored and kept out.
He didn't wait around or rely on people open to learn everything. Focused on work not drama trying to leave things better than how he found them. Took pride in his work when his crew did the bare minimum. He wasn't trying to tale anyone's job but he did raise the bar. His job wasn't hard but dealing with an useless ego and power trip made it ****.
He loved his family but never felt like it got better everyone has their way and not happy. They try to tell him when he already knows or been there. Never seen as an equal while everyone tries to take charge telling people when not one asked or trying fix others lives when they don't have it together.

Sadly overworked feeling worthless
Clashing with the lead trying to right
From fun to lifeless told bad attitude
Same BS feeling burnt out
From the inside out insulted
Can't change a stubborn mind
Older gentlemen set in his ways
Spoke up seen as talking back
Carrying the load setting boundaries
Trying to make it to the end
Fading out showed love by others
One bad week feels it all slipping away
The wild one doesn't care anymore
Easier to be a rebel watching it sink
Trying to talk no one wants to listen
Now its not important anymore
Make it right focused on the wrong
Built up emotions over time seeping
Can't hide them anymore feelings hurt
An animated face showing emotions
From good to bad now it's too bad
Changing the tone ready to go
Tried to make it work it blew up hard
Took on too much came up short
Failed feeling like a **** at work
Never enough trying to find balance

Can't sleep staring at the wall
Thinking what's next moving on
What's happening isn't working out
Knew it was mistake
From the beginning trying to get there
Already knew the outcome
Positioned as the guy not just a spare
Filling in all this extra for short time
All the funk and gunk remains

Playing many roles all he wanted was to be himself. All he did was give about to tap out but refusing to quit. Trying to honor his commitments it was important to him trying to find balance instead of go over the edge. He fought to be the hero in his story. Made out to be the bad guy depending who's giving the narrative.
Trying to do right things go wrong dealing with the consequences. Things go well no one cares he got ******* over one area is well while another is crumbling trying to restore it all.
Help out others struggling to save himself feeling like a failure over one error one mistake. All the good and effort goes unnoticed.
Setting goals outside of work feeling neglected by those he respected. Preferred to stay away instead of getting close. His feelings hurt trying to stay composed. Never one to judge others he's been down and got back up. Stood in silence still being judged. Always honest told the truth because its easier than lying. Called blunt because most want everything but the truth.

Be this way just trying to be himself
Act that way minding his mouth
Mostly his business kept out
Once in it wasn't anything special
He was over people so much betrayal
Who didn't follow their own advice
He anger got the best of him
No one listens but expects everything
Told he had a bad attitude
Frustrated his schedule ruined to fill-in
Last minute notice had prior commitments
Felt disrespected can't do it anymore
Tried to keep quiet being provoked
Just doing all the ***** work
Feeling robbed cheated
COVID making short staff more complicated
Trying to stay physically healthy
While mentally drained burnt out
Working towards new over the old
Usually ignored getting the 3rd degree
Lurking to cover for their own gain
So much frustration and pain from a bad leader
His way dictating work on the team
No other way expects from others
Never looking out dumping the load
Will never admit a mistake
Quick to point out the flaw

Trying to open up no one listens
No one cares unless it's about them
Asking about the podcast trying to put out good vibes
Haven't had a good friend for a while lost peeps over relationships and family. Didn't get it before but respect it now.
Avoiding people who drink to maintain sobriety
Got use to being alone someone is always mad or disappointed with anything done.
Excluded trying to fit in someone is always bothered by his actions or behavior.
He was one to say it to their face but they are quick to change the narrative make him out to be the bad guy. Turn everyone on him for having an opinion usually the one standing alone having a one sided argument with himself.
The double standards against him he's in the wrong but their evil doing is justified. He stares at the wall wonder what's going to happen since he questioned the things that tore him down. Now they are playing the victim telling him he overreacted because they mistreat him. Apparently it's okay but he was tired of it trying to make it through probation and transfer. He arrived so many transferred he believed in loyalty; why stay if they don't believe in you.
His first day the boss said there was better candidates only hired because of the lead and his previous summer contributions.

Didn't want to argue with anyone
Learned he didn't have to say anything
The less he said the more they talked
Faded away enjoying peace within
Use to see it as being punked out
Not doing anything stayed calm
Collected not over reacting composed
Not feeling bad anymore at ease
Could only do so much slowing down

Trying to make moves feeling stuck and trapped he was a polished time he did have a chip on his shoulder. Trained by many since he was open to learn and grow. Helped out many but feeling betrayed have his all lately feeling like it's not good enough or he wasn't living up to the way he was seeing himself.
It felt like the world was against him and like he couldn't get it right something always went wrong while he was trying to do right.
Another argument with the power trip trying to stay quiet but annoyed they assume instead of asking assuming planning his evening treating him like a nobody but covering for everybody.

The weight of the world crushing his chest making it hard to breathing. Trying not to disappoint others but disappointed in himself. Trying to find balance working at two location both important to him among the they don't matter. Trying to stay loyal to the old that took care of him. The new took a risk more demanding feeling numb
Just another face in the crowd from a lead to the number 2 guy.
Feeling like a spare tire on hold waiting to be used then back into the bark trunk after the job is done

Telling your feelings to a screen
Sharing your emotions
Some days it hurts really bad
Not sure how to feel
Or how to react anymore
Had an opinion now someone is mad
Spoke my mind another person is offended
Said nothing keeping the peace someone is running their mouth
They don't like the person why are they talking about them constantly.
He don't talk about anyone behind their back
He usually said it to their face telling the truth
While they lie pretending to be someone they are not
Writing to go numb be able to sleep
Those heavy burdens kept him awake
Use to being pushed out got familiar with being alone.

Working to pay the bills over the same old routine dealing with others demands after a while he asked what would they do without him. Half the time they dump on him and treat him bad when they don't get their way. Use to being ******* over they talk about him but he's not saying anything because once they are triggered they think they have the right to take him down so they feel secure about themselves.
He just wanted to ask out the girl he had a crush on. Go on a date have fun all he did was work with bossy demanding people. He gave and didn't expect anything in return. He loved to write it made sense he could feel and be himself without judgement or hide himself because they don't care about him just expecting results. He wrote feeling free observed and analyzed his life. He made mistakes and gave up his social life to be sober because most of his friends drank it wouldn't help him get clean.
Stayed single because his relationships got complicated he wanted to balance it out have both but it wouldn't work out in his favor. His needy jealous insecure girlfriend would make him feel bad because he didn't listen or do things her way. Not able to enjoy life with friends because once his friends got in a relationship they chose that over his friendship.

At the end of the day he told himself to be better. Trying to live and learn from his mistakes. Tole himself never to be like that do it better be better than those who did you *****. Keep a clean head on your shoulders listen and learn.
After a while he expected too much from the wrong people. Leads are playing boss not a friend not getting personal.
Where trying to be the guy doesn't exist using use then dropping. Feeling like everything is a decoy. A set up all you want is to win but feeling like everything is a loss. All the drama all the toxic people trying to bring you down with them

Glad to have one or two reliable friends so much betrayal disappointment trusting the wrong people. His best friend got with his crush that's where it all began. Another close friend tried to make the moves on his GF another reason he got sober. He showed them love and all they did was bad mouth him. He became forbidden fruit and it lead to more problems. He didn't talk about anyone that tried to destroy his image.
He didn't hype those haters or trigger them not walking into their trap.
Turned away let them have everything but it wouldn't be the same anymore. He let them have all the tainted things because he moved onto something better.
Letting go was easier than holding on. He didn't **** up or brown nose. Showed love and respect to those who treated him right. Those that kept him out he went where he could be himself not bother with anyone anymore. If he couldn't be himself; he didn't belong there. If they made him fight for his spot it wasn't worth it even after proving himself worthy.
He didn't believe in ******* up or brown nosing he busted his *** worked harder and gave his all in his work. He stopped taking it personal and getting personal focused on his work.

He wiped the tears said it will be okay
One bad week months of frustration
Doesn't define the rest of your life
New week new start new beginnings
Putting out god vibes to the universe
Trying to shine not be dull like the rest
Put out more energy not be sluggish
Finish strong take pride in work
All hustle grind no gimmick
The outcast for chasing greatness
Refusing to settle called entitled
Called crazy for having an opinion
Having a dream seen as delusional
Setting goals determined not stopping
A bad attitude for speaking up
Being ignored feeling insulted
Asked for courtesy to prepare
Given last minute notice set up to fail
Treated different from the rest
More double standards excluded

It was always a fight
Be this way do it that way
So many rules enforced against him
Broken or not applied to others
Struggling to fit in usually kept out
Once cared told it doesn't matter
Not a golden child or favorite
Working to matter make a difference
Called a rebel for resisting misconduct
Trying to make it to the end not quit
Working harder no surrender
Keeping his mouth shut was hard
The frustration was real feeling burden

He would drink energy drinks they became a comfort when he quit consuming alcohol. He realized they aren't right for him from one bad habit to the next. He didn't want a one night stand.
He was all in or nothing things never turn out the way he imagined. They usually played out accordingly. Heart broken and confused. Knew he wasn't the one but one of many.

He learned to work on delivery how he said things usually straight forward told to think how the other person would feel.
It was hard because he was blunt and honest with his peeps. His temper pushed people away because he was tired of being used and his kindness being taken for granted. He was always taking the blame owned up when he was wrong. Most wont admit they are wrong but quick to strip his efforts and credibility away.
Took criticism with a grain of salt most insulted or offended when he had an opinion calling them on their misconduct. He was over one way streets. He loves people but they made him out to he the bad guy for saying NO or standing his ground.

Not fighting the change
Allowing the growth not going back
Going forward rising above
Friendships true ones stay
Family clashes not forcing it
Pride over blood has been a trend
Dreams on hold trying to keep up
No cared about feelings or emotions
Results or proof false standards ideals
Changing things to feel superior

He wiped the tears said it will be okay
One bad week months of frustration
Doesn't define the rest of your life
New week new start new beginnings
Putting out god vibes to the universe
Trying to shine not be dull like the rest
Put out more energy not be sluggish
Finish strong take pride in work
All hustle grind no gimmick
The outcast for chasing greatness
Refusing to settle called entitled
Called crazy for having an opinion
Having a dream seen as delusional
Setting goals determined not stopping
A bad attitude for speaking up
Being ignored feeling insulted
Asked for courtesy to prepare
Given last minute notice set up to fail
Treated different from the rest
More double standards excluded

Vision board

Transfer work days
Be a full-time get benefits
Save up get a motorcycle
Get back into jujitsu
Go back to school
Get college degree
Coach softball
Go on a date

Working for his while others given it all did nothing but complain. They had way more it was never enough. He had nothing made the most of with what he had. Working his **** off because he didn't grow up with money.
He was always in work mode he started to read more. He always put others first never gave himself credit but would feel insulted when others tried to claim him and his efforts for things that needed to be done.
He didn't get along with leads things got done. He didn't care for micro managing or doing other peoples work. They took all the credit when they didn't help or contribute.
He didn't empower egos or power trips. So many took what he loved gutted it and tried to make it their own.
Working in silence behind the scenes coming up with new material using life experiences and encounters to tell stories to free himself from the anxiety caused by others be free from life frustrations express himself in a healthy manner.

He was the guy who was unnoticed sat in the back no one bothered or paid attention to him. He was use to that because when he was the center of attention good or bad eventually he would end up alone.
People talk bad about him because he stood up for his beliefs, and was use to rolling solo, a rebel at heart. He had a hard time trusting his life was an open book but learned to be selective because no one cares about you unless you are doing favor. After being used up in failed relationships found they don't want you but don't want you with anyone else. He was really crush to know that being happy for others but others would never be happy for him with all his efforts and accomplishments.

Thankful for the growth some people are set in their ways. I've learned to accept people flaw and all. I don't talk about anyone I just keep a distance because if there is a disagreement it leads to conflict. Then they try to assassin your character because they didn't get their way. Walking away keeping the peace while they aren't happy still stirring up controversy. Not one to feed egos or empower power trips. Not talking about anyone that try to change others because being right is more important than trying to understand. Don't care to be in a one sided argument because calling them on it leads to them trying to change the narrative so they don't have to deal with the consequences.

Sometimes it feels like the world is after you because of an opinion or differences cause conflict over a disagreement. Working for everything called entitled which is a lie since everyday is a fight to be heard to be understood.
After being kept out their opinion doesn't matter since all they do is bad mouth you behind your back. No one is talking about them or cares what they think because they knock others instead of build them up.
Working hard to get through the shift moving up means dealing with people is a headache while the degrading pay mildly attempts to make up for it.
Learning its okay to do it, after many years of people saying NO not believing in you. Telling you you're not right or wrong because you didn't it their way. You start to think I'm the one doing it. Why does it matter? In the end, do they even care?

Not going back out grew it
They told you NO made it else where
Made it happen without approval
Its your dream don't let them take it
Accepted in one place working hard
Rejected in another for speaking up
Giving your all isn't enough
Taken off treated like an outcast
Sold your soul to evil taking the job
Knew what would happened
Tired of doing everyone's work
Feeling the void trying to help out
Kindness taken for granted
Full of regret now doubting efforts
Once confident now seen as worthless

Haven't had a good friend for a while most get in a relationship and forget about friendships. Busy with work they are bad at making time for friends. Working graveyard trying to catch up on sleep man. The couple made the relationship work with marriage or kids keeping the bond strong.
Getting older working for it while others are given it all never happy or thankful for what they got. The women that caught his eye are in a bad relationship or not into him. Learning to make himself happy not expect others to do it

Growing up knowing better so many things that are taboo have become socially accepted. Changing your mindset is hard but somethings aren't good anyway. Not one to force or impose beliefs on anyone. Mostly respectful of others choices and decisions.
Once you disagree or speak up they try to exclude or cut you out because you had an opinion not respecting your differences. Its foolish and selfish for them to expect you to give up; who you are so they could be happy.
They want you to change, but already going through changes.
Minding your mouth and business is easy seems life everyone is trying to get inside your head. Don't give or tell them anything because they'll try to rob you of your peace.

A battle of egos not playing games
Treated different for speaking up
Went along now being kept out
Stepped up now being set back
Used up then forgotten by corruption
One sided pretending to be a team player
If they aren't taking advantage
They don't care unless they get their way