Rather then get mad he worked harder
His heart meant well giving his all
Even though everything went wrong
Took risks came up short again
Planning to be better go harder
Plotting back at it stronger than ever
Called crazy for pursuing a dream
Did the work still getting written off
Find balance in the struggle
Composure facing chaos looking for closure

They crossed paths
Smiled at one another
One admired the other
Two being different styles
One wanted to be a couple
The other desired a relationship
Companionship over a friendship
One felt the love the other forced it
Valuing individualism broke hearts
Hurt feelings could've been more
Stuck with less obsessive behavior
Love turns to resentful lust
False promises no trust closed off
Expectation leading to disappointment
One not believing in the other
Assuming the worse while up to no good

Growing on the rise a power struggle
Hustling to make it right get it done
Not talking just working harder
The talkers complain do nothing
Pushing through the shift being noble
Loyalty fades till something better comes along
Always hustling no one will do it for you
Respectful to the disrespectful learn to not expect much
Learn everything so you're not waiting or relying on anyone
Trust in your self believe when no one else does

He got cut it use to huet his feelings but gets it now. He wanted to do and be better but couldn't with the wrong people. He loved them but they couldn't agree or compromise. It was better they depart to go their separate ways. One focused on work and improving.
The other developed habits talking about everyone trying to use that negativity to influence other perspective on him.
He was rebel that got used had trust issues. Preferred to be alone opened up trusted the wrong people.
It was a vicious cycle learned to stay out not get involved focus on what needed to be done. He knew it wasn't given had to work for it.

He sat across from her at dinner
Couldn't help but smile
Nervous inside he might say something dumb
He was truthful out of respect
Mouth might get him in trouble
He was excited for the chance
An opportunity to get to know her
All he wanted was love to be natural
Didn't want to lose himself in the wrong person
Not forcing it looking for something real
She smiled at the conversation
Her laughter was soothing
Gave him hope he got joy from
They walked together sharing funny stories
A life time experiences that moment treasured

The week is up and down but make the most of everything. Working hard and staying focused so the task at hand could be completed. Making work fun playing music so time passes in an up beat manner. Haven't had time to write no excuse make time. Everytime I write it's my way of coping putting life into perspective.
Telling fun stories and making my characters always makes worth while. You see and feel the vibe makes the creative process worth doing. Haven't been feeling like me but letting go of things that don't matter. Living up to my goals and standards.
Being my own person since I'm not a follower. Too many make you out to be someone you're not and expect you to be someone they can't be. Ready for the weekend making the most of my down time. Lock my door listen to music read and write. Everything will be alright because made it and back at it again next week.

I think I'm not going to participate in family gatherings I always feel left out or excluded. My aunts take cheap shots you think they'd know better. My cousins bad attitude but they always play the victim. I'm done feeling bad for them especially since they show me no sympathy or remorse. I don't need to feel bad or act like everything is fine but the reality is they **** me off and I want to cuss them off half the time. They aren't any good to me if I can't be myself or enjoy the occasion.
I'm ready to just say forget everyone move on to what's taters and will take me places. My future will be better if I stop fixing the broken because they end up breaking me.

Dont rush no pressure
Trying to be yourself
Sounds like there is someone else
Don't what to make of the situation
All has failed building a foundation
Put on the spot nothing is what was thought to be
Things end mostly because no one will argee
Talk of love fear of commitment
Start over left overs make it complicated
Other plans idea mind of it's own
No hands holding on lose control
Stop wasting time not yours or mine
Walk way stay away things are messed up

This got old need to feel brand new
Only if you knew too bad I'm out
Your clues are nothing new
Told you once told you twice don't read mind
Not a great combination together
Once mixed but a one time thing
You complain and I'm mean
Make a scene you know my feelings don't mean anything
Want me back there no going back only moving forward
You cross the line that's fine
Back to walking the line no need you told it'd over
You don't want to be mine free from you ill be fine

He checked his ego at the door, cleaned his mind; before getting on the mats. He'd put on his GI stretch, before class thinking of how to escape the guard not fall into a submition. Countering moves escaping to survive the roll trying not to tap but make my opponent tap. Going hard pulling guard avoid being choked out and giving up points being smart it's a game of chess will vs skill one shall come out victorious.

Old and cold
Forced to grow up
Raise your sibling
Try to live young
Try to be wise
Truth is everybody lies
Old at heart
Young mind
Mid point hard to find

Once you heal overcome all the drama
You stop looking for it since I always end up in the wrong places
Hanging on to hope while all is lost
Positive while everyone is negative and discouraged
Find courage and give life meaning find purpose
Others settle and don't try sad how they blame
Rather than own up
don't be ashamed but try pursue your passion
Others don't understand it's your dream not theirs

Good day today got this movie ive been wanting.
Got myself a Johnny cash book to enjoy
A new shirt if I decide to go out
The gym has been good to me
Hitting heavy weights getting my reps done
Cardio and reading a book that makes me laugh and smile.
Got home showered enjoying my favorite show
Ive been laughing and smiling making the of my goodtimes
Spoiling myself doing things right feel free for once its goid to be me

Know the material still told doing it wrong
This has become life achievement knocked
Or swept under the rug covered the shine
1st to do this everyone oblivious
Achieved the goal attention focused on the flaw
Broke the record others still needed to be passed
Compared to others not doing the same thing
Discredited for a championship only one with a ring
Medals hang out the wall pride and valued
Others see them as nothing to the own means something
Find the place where efforts valued appreciated
Respect earned not given
Not praised but hazed out

Ive learned so many life lessons why do they feel like punishments. Ive made mistakes I walk eggshells trying to be right keep my name outta ppls mouths but they still keep talking ****.
I want to fight back im tired of being a used and taken for granted.
I help my family give my all even if its not enough. ive set the bar but no one cares to meet the standards. I dont say anything but im seen as stuck up. I filter myself to be seen as someone im not eventually the truth comes out. I want to be loved and accepted but I hate becoming someone im not someone I dont understand.
Im able to show my world but others dilute my vision.

I'm thankful certain mentors of mine seen greatness and gave me confidence in what I'm doing.
My college mentor told me be open to learn all you can; build a foundation for your dreams be hungry for your goals. Another quote from my football days is "never settle for average"
Paul taught me the tricks of the trade made work fun and I could build off all he taught me so much he was a great influence back in my retail days. He always called me for work because I liked to work made the most of the; it helped me grow as a person.
I'd like to thank tony he taught me, while I was an assistant coach; I learned so much from his lead since I'm not one who likes to be in charge of people. He's someone I looked up especially dealing with team. We had a great season, yuuuuup. Being a leader is key, I learned from him my love for the sport grew thanks for the knowledge.
Tyrone taught me about Hollywood and actually used my work which I appreciate it helped me grow learned so much about red carpet. I'm not meant for Hollywood but do love the creative process, being a writer and all.

I remember the 1st time I seen her
A breath taking smile and short
Hair full of curls
I didn't what to say
Only if I wasn't shy
I'd do my best to say hi
My friend knew her so we were introduced
After that hurtle everything felt easy
She asked me my name I found out hers
She asked about my piercings and if they hurt
I asked about her she played sports
We talked and learned about one another
Close for a while but we grew apart
She's no longer around
Take certain moments to the heart
Like the day we met I'll always treasure

Not one to move on from a break up
Give time need to heal
Not quick to sleep with anyone
I don't forget right away but willing to move forward
It hurts to see an ex with a new
Wondering will I be able to do the same
If I find new love old love tries to wedge it's way back
Not mad but confused not sure
Do I go back or continue with new
Everything to lose don't want to make the wrong choice
Wrong or right the heart is hanging by a limb

He was always respectful of his friends and their situation. He knew his friend had a crush on this girl. He would get involved but would find out from the girl she was not interested in his friend. The plot twist was the girl liked him over his friend. He could not act on her feelings because he was loyal to his friend and she would try to convince him other wise. The friend would be angry because his plan to date her failed. More inferior when the girl told his friend she wasn't interested but did like his friend. Talk about causing conflict over mixed emotions no one acted on. The girl wanted him but he cared for his friend and didn't want to lose a friend. He was in a weird situation, if he went with the girl he lost a friend. But if he stayed loyal to the friend the girl would hate him because she would see it as he had no regards for her feelings.
Trying to find balance and be fair he chose the friend but the friend was bitter and hostile he would bad mouth the loyal friend. Turns out jealous people can't be friends over doing the right thing. He remained alone both the jealous friend and girl no longer engage with him because he would not give into their ways so he left them to figure it out. He figured why be friends with people that make him feel awkward, he leader to make himself happy not look for it in others and being alone is okay rather than being with the wrong crowd.

Hard to sleep not sure, whats next
Thoughts flowing mind is racing
Don't know what's next started pacing
Figure it out dig down deep no more going with out
Come and go like the season not interested in the reason
Broken hearts you didn't break
When love turns to hate
Hot and cold emotion good or bad its something
Accepted to reject part of yourself
Denied once things didn't go your way
On the way no need to stay set in those devious way
False love to no love meant to be more like never gonna happen
Everything you loved becomes what you hate
Now its over too late no more second thought or debate
Go forward not back over the act
Be on the way never coming back

He kept digging deep gave his all till he had no more to offer when he thought it would get worse things got better. He was burnt out and felt like he was losing it. Things would get better and he didn't let the bar moment or anger consume him. The frustration that are away at his self confidence. The build up in his head he could let dissolve clear his mind focus on the good things will get better he told himself. He was down but not out he would continue to strive forward not settle or be comfy keep moving forward

Told you it couldn't be done
Proving them wrong
silence all the talk
Once it was done
They had nothing to say
Time for a change
For the better
hard to forget
move onto better
Never live in regret
Set out get it done
be the one
Alone get better
be number one
Fun or not, all in
been one hell of a run

Think this way think that way
Thinking my way already thought your way
Opened minded close minded
Turn others negativity blindsided
Do what feels right natural grace
Others hate on a smiling face
Think it's easy you'll find it hard
Going a out only gets you so far
Reconstruct deconstruct no one care think it's luck
Be struck down won't be around when you fall down
Write from the insane part of the mind
Mania creative side others hide
Already judged cut lose
Nothing else to possibly lose have fun with verbal abuse use it right use it to write

Always ready to mingle
The girls with the vibe never single
Pursue her but get no love
Reject her smothered with obsession
Get together usually whatever
Sometimes it does get better
She avoids phone calls
Turns a cold shoulder
Someone else in mind
Never did anything to hurt her
Things were great don't want to dessert her
No reason or explanation
Just eyes of hate empty emotionless stares
Told the truth she's living a lie or has a secret

A week earlier

A young man and this girl he was into hung out this day would change everything. They felt like a couple and had all the benefits but he wanted to make official he wanted her to be his girl. Turns out she had other plans she like how everything was going but didn't want to take it to that level. Things became awkward and weird. The two grew distant and things would never be the same.
He would confront her try to make it right but things got much worse. She was with a new person and things looked serious.
He was broken deep down and said nothing. Later her roommate would confront the broken man. She apologized for her roomies actions because the truth came out this girl was not loyal and was stringing along, this nice caring person.
The guy felt bad and hurt till a few months later he decided to move on and date again.
He met a young girl sweet wasn't his type but she would ask him out for coffee. He didn't drink coffee but did like hot chocolate. They would socialize get to know one another better. Till he felt confident and trusted her worked up the courage to ask her out on a date. Get to know her more be free from the previous death grip that burden him.
While on their date his evil ex would see them, later he would be confronted by her; she would ask, who is that and how long have you been seeing on another? The guy was puzzled, why would she care; who he dated. she was already with someone. To make things or confusing she told him she missed him then kissed him on the cheek.
The guy didn't not get this rejection but did grow while dating.

He was far from perfect but he did feel better when he read his bible. He made many mistakes but learned from them, never letting history repeat itself. He had lost his job and prayed for a new one. He became humble after being beaten up. He had hurt people and been hurt on both sides of the burden. Lots of overthinking trying to make sense of things put it all into perspective; make sense of all these confusing emotions and thoughts. Asking questions hoping to find answers or find a solution to the problem. Many questions unanswered but gave into his faith and beliefs.  Years of being silent to prevent drama. Lost in books and writing still felt incomplete. He wanted to get lost in life be able to share his side tell his stories. A friend told him why are you holding back? You are honest most should value your opinion. Turns out the friend was wrong. He wanted to do all the things he set out to do. He felt life was in hold but he wanted to live and feel again. Instead of closed off and shut out not a way to live.

Emotional changed for the better
Physically changed rise to power
Felt and coped with dark emotions
Dealt with good but clutching onto them
It's easy to punish yourself feeling bad
A guilt consciences weighs you down
Focus on the greatness be better than the mistake
Change your ways encourage others
Hopefully they do the same
Be better than the ppl talking about you
Since they have done nothing but blame others
Own up to your flaws correcting yourself
Others try to use that against you but use it to be better
Rise from the darkness take care of yourself
Only you can provide all you seek
Not letting them get to you they infect your good with their bad
Once your immune don't let that toxin overcome
Give yourself credit for doing it others haven't started or tried
You'd feel bad but why should you care if they belittle your accomplishments they knock you
Encourage them but don't let them stop you or detour your mission
Goals are set meet them on your time not others
Dreams are how you see them not others
Live life to your standards not other
Be who you know you can be not
who others make you out to be

Wired different from everyone
Told to be a tough but sensitive always hiding it
A lover struggle within not sure how to feel.
Always have something to say
Feelings get the best of everything
Told her how I felt she didn't love me back
I held it all in she left and never looked back
Dreaming big barely getting by fighitng to survive
Feels like things are dieing need to be revived
Hard to breathe need to make a move
Praying for love hopeless with romance
Love hate turns into loves to hate
Career not paying out with many more fears
Over the suffering wipping tears still here
Another expression seen like a protest
Standing tall for change things remain the same
Paid dues picked everyone else it's true
Stood talk for the crew all the betrayal
Turned their back treated cruel
Moved on found passion staying loyal pure true

Everything has changed everyone full of rage
All the hate won't make you great liked for the wrong reasons
Instead of doing what's right choices were made
Actions said more than words put on a side when it's not your fight
Walking away isn't enough the backlash gets everyone
Beaten and defeated still being provoked by a winner that is unworthy of the victory
The slaunder of your character makes them feel empowered
Not beat because focused on other matters which lead to something more productive
For not being like they are always saying your name
Unworthy of your time you give them your back if you still up their voice would shake and the fear in their eyes avoiding eye contact
The cold look in your eyes the emotion is gone
The game is over the tone has changed

Some feelings overwhelming its like being burned alive
The pain is real takes time to heal
Sharp blade cuts through the skin bleeding out is real
Scabs over even though the blood flows out in a rush
You calm down everything will be fine
Emotions have you of balance walking a thin line
You want to know don't always know
Maybe its better not to know be left alone
Close my eyes feel my heart race
The unsettling rapid pace ask for the lords grace
Marked for dead not giving up because others said
Is sweet revenge all those who see me as nothing
Doing more than some do can't do everything trying
No waiting around ******* or crying
Underground my world is private true friend know the real

fall down get back up
punch to the mouth wont
silence what i have to say
my eyes will not look the othe way
when it comes to wrong
i dont cheat even if you accuse me
you will not belittle my character
because your insecure
i stand tall speak the truth
do what right stand up fight the good fight
never change for anyone be yourself always
since you are all you have in this world
stay true even of you get beaten black and blue
this is the code remain the same moral
live by a code

Been waiting for so long
Don't let no one anyone take it away
Enjoy the accomplishment from hard work
It may not be much but it's something
Everyone's standards so low decide to aim high
Take pride and credit for efforts made
May not be much but everything at the moment
Feel the truth know right from wrong!
If wrong is done make it right
Follow the believe within
Never give in but try to understand
Different for a reason not like everyone else
Being the same is plain just another face no name
Stay true to the moral code
They way go live up to the standards that feel right

They tell me to day within the race
I prefer interracial
Makes me want to do it more
Approval or not it's what I like
My happiness they cannot take
I'm hoping to make it work
The only one who gets hurt
I feel it deep within my heart
My world torn apart
don't know where to start
Love is a drug
Get that fix
Hope to one day find the right one
The girl who's in my life
My family will accept
Good or bad I won't regret

Wake up it's still dark need to beat the traffic rush. Cold outside seeing it while exhaling determined to stay warm. Wearing warm cozy layers because the weather is unpredictable. From cold as ice to hot has hell. The temperature would progress with the day. Losing layers or sometimes the weather stayed consistent dressed just right. In the car so early loud music to stay awake. The heat blasting to keep you warm on the way. Arrive before everyone sitting in an empty lot waiting for the rest show up. The early morning silence rewarding soothing to the mind. The tender intensity felt just right. He was always anxious but everything felt right. Up early home early. Like the days better then the night shift.

The night is my friend cold air in my lungs darkness that feels like home soothing to the heart
Silence that puts my nerves at ease
Time to write create with clear thought and free the mind

Went for a jog steady tempo
Reggae beats keep the feet moving
Refreshing shower after running an hour
Writing out thoughts listening to music
The sounds and beats set a mood
Writing helps reflect grow take notes on progress
Be the best never settle for less
Stress your life and get it done
Don't get involved with drama
You know nothing about mind your business
Life seem easier and less hectic
Roll solo find peace in the heart give those messing up peace of mind
Not trying to care doesn't mean one doesn't understand

Hard to focus when the heart is else where
Mind racing not sure how to feel
living a lie hard to stand by
The truth is hard to believe
Letting go is a start
That's the hard part
Suffering doesn't mean more
Raw emotions doesn't make life rich
Money can't buy love or the solution
Only trying can fix or make it right
Outcome might not be right
Alright make a start
Walk lost but find the way
Feels like the clutch of misery broken
Spoken with a silent tongue

When you leave move on to a new chapter sometimes you want to take people with you
Starting over: new friends, new home, new beginnings
You don't want to replace old friends but people come and go like the seasons
A new home is like a shell you move into a new one because you out grew the old one.
Some things you don't want them to end
The hardest part is starting but the worse part is when it comes to an end
A new start is great but getting comfortable always makes change seem overwhelming
The heart is with home where it all started to grow
Leaving is a struggle to become an individual become independent
Some will always see you as a child no matter how old you grow
Tough love made you strong able to sense wrong not easily mainpulated or mean to be controlled
You protect your heart even thought it was once worn on your sleeve
Gone so far not going back older wiser never the same

Soothing to the ear
Blocks the world out
Pick your soul up
when you feel out of it
The beats that make you shake you hip
Move your lips sing your favorite lyrics
Beats that make you bob your head
Think of a good time
Songs that remind you of a good friend
Favorite band that relate
The connect so deep and real
know the song love the beats
So much going on your glad is making way in your hear the sounds you want to hear

Around band practice makes me want to do more with music. I play simple drums can hold a beat. Ideas on how to read tabs for bass and guitar. Music is fun it takes me away and helps me use my imagination sets a mood and tempo while writing. I wish I could sing hit those notes and have melody in my voice. I've been told write music but dk who to connect with.
Being young and angry can only get you so far. Now I'm older wiser and at peace. I have so many ideas as I get older feels like I'm running out of time. Music makes work fly by making it more tolerable.

Dark and deep from the head to feet
Closed my eyes and seen us together
Great in my head but the reality a blur
No where near the truth it ends ruthless
Kept trying to make it work by lieing to myself
Thought I couldn't do without better off without
Lost in your ways had to rediscover myself once again
Letting go was hard once I surrender this toxic wave
I was freed and saved moved on with my days
Years passed struggled over come the daze
Happy you moved on while I stayed stuck
Once I did the same angered hatred came my way
Free of the guilt of not being loved
My problem is loving the wrong person
All this faith for love ends with betrayal hate
Ending it before it could grow to much more
Not the bad guy but in your story I'm the worse
Failed love is a curse wish you the best
While you play victim and red wishing less
Not more pondering being depressed

He had a hard time sleeping music would comfort him. It made work go by faster he love his music it brought back memories. His first dance with the girl he loved. Music while they kissed and got intimate listening to together. Music made road trips feel exciting. His music always made time feel worthy instead of wasted.

i see the wrong you do
dont act like you are righteous
you judge me but i know the truth
ive done no wrong but you think you are right
you start a fight and already losing the struggle
i see the fear i smell the fear
while you play you will get played
you regret the the day you stayed
my eyes stare you cold while
you dare not make eye contact
i see you not on my level
but you make loop holes
one day youll get trapped in one of the holes
you have dug for yourself
my eyes see you in your ways
waste of my days my eyes see more than you imagined

i lke to stand out in crowds
socialize amd meet new ppl
may not be tall but im a big figure
my smile unique eyes have that sparkle
make ppl laugh and smile makes my day
pray to be understood and play music loud
punk my style diy (do it yourself)
my heart beats like a drum solo in metal music
my lyrics deep amd dark my world is dark but full of strength
remember the day i change for the better
being funny usually means my sense of humor is mistake for weakness
one day i plan to be a radio personal
one day publish something that will give new perspective
may not ne the best one but im he right one for the job i see myself doing
coaching was fun but the competitive edge comes out
mma is another favorite sport of mine
the possiblities light my mind up
i call the sport and game how i see it, i found respect what you love
pursue it with all you have to give it will bring the best out of you
if not you can bring the best out in others

Went from doing all I can to not doing anything. Wise away when I should be sleeping. In the dark with my thoughts. Trying to come up with a plan now I have nothing. Feels like my time and luck has run out. Alone because I've let all the wrong people in. Figuring out what I need and want feels right for once. Listening to the voice in my head. Been doing so much but it's not what I want to be doing. Now I have time to myself and avoiding my thoughts so many scenarios play out in my head it drives me crazy. I think one way the outcome ends up being another.

He didn't care for people who did drugs. It ruined his family his parents chose that over him. He seen some people choose their bad habits over their kids.
He tries to be around family but its hard everyone grew up some are sharks only nice because they need something then giving the cold shoulder.
Watching them grow up

His writing would get him in trouble like his mouth. Telling the truth made others see the truth but didn't how to deal with it. He got it off his chest writing with anger didn't do any favors.
When he wrote it was about how others made him feel and wrote what he thought to escape all the anguish it caused him. Letting others know they arent the only one or alone.

He was tired of holding back as he watched the girl he was into walk by.
Doing everyone's work when he didn't even want to do his own work. Dealing with his family everyone set in their ways he was over compromising himself for others while they treated others bad and took advantage. He stopped comparing getting involved most of all caring.

He was onto new things missing his old life. Trying to go forward not go back. Closed off seen as a hard *** but once he opened up. Always focused on work no time to show emotions. Being social was easy he had nothing to hide.  Everyone else was closed off and defensive threatened, by his honesty it made him feel bad for telling the truth.
He sat in his room alone with comfort. Going in public was unsettling in a crowd. Kept to himself minded his own.

Changing up his circle since he preferred to be alone. So many details left and actions that did coordinate. He spoke up people got hurt. once he stopped arguing it ate him from the inside out. Being pushed out now they follow him in his space. They held a grudge, didn't forgive him. He tried but couldn't forgive himself for the conduct.
Showed too much love got nothing in return. Held back felt robbed cheated himself. Some people loved him to his face. Slandered him behind his back. He was loyal to all the wrong people praying for the right once.
Tired of all the rules and double standards when he did things it was taboo. If others did the same it would be socially accepted and praised.