He sat in his high school classroom
They called him weird
rather than understand
Ignored rumors being spread
Saying he was suicidal
One night in his room
Staring at the knife
His cousin gave him
Thinking about ending it
Bleed out from the wrist
He grew up poor
The pain wasn't forever
This fatal ending would be
He remembered everyone
Those who doubted him
Laughed at him in school
High school was easy
The college living was hard
On his own could barely pay his phone
He sat in silence thought
Decided to work hard be better
Not listen to the negativity
Prove them wrong shut them up
It was a struggle while others peaked

Told a secret to a friend
The trust was broken violated
Hard to open up
These feelings become a weapon
Emotions turned on you
Manipulated by others
They can't control you
Refusing to give in for evil
Tried to comfort a friend
A pity party to trick you in
Asking for help and advice
Set in their ways of terror
Never going to change
Just pray God will do the rest
Don't lose hope or faith

Her long blonde hair
She dyed it for attention
Having an identity crisis
Blue eyes from love
Now stone cold blue
The first kiss treasured
Never forgotten laughs
Sharing a fun moment
Good times full of smiles

Motivating others as the coach
Pushed them to work
loved to practice
When they won
He let them celebrate
When they lost he has to regroup
Come up with a new plan
A strategy turn weakness into strengths
It was a way to improve
Better for the game
Lots of repetition
Stretches to prevent injuries
Warm up throwing the ball
Running the bases
Sliding drills staining red dirt
Batting practice get the swing straight
Timing down bat contact with the ball

Not about going out anymore
Had many friends but it all changed
Once I got sober things changed
Friends faded away some talked about me
That's not a friend that's fake and phony
then used me then disregarded me like trash
Never said anything bad about others
But I respect them enough to say it to their face
I called them on it and denied it
Now I'm dealing with a liar I couldn't trust them
I stayed away so they can't blame me
Make me out to be the bad guy
Like they always did

How can a person be married
Say I love you to an old going
Why would a person cheat
And have the nerve to blame
For their actions
Tell someone who loves them
They got with another person
Your so called best friend
Hooks up with a crush
Did wrong never forgiven
Wrong doers given multiple chances
Forgive yourself for peace
Not always going to find out the reason
Get closure for someone else
The problem can't be fixed
Walk away learn the lesson
Focus on a new life count blessings

Went outside in the fresh air
The streets full of life
Staying home for weeks
So much time to think
Writing it all out
Picked an old hobby
Play tabs on the guitar
Feeling the vibration
Opened another book to read
Use to always working
Making the most of down time
Writing could be the golden ticket

My ex got with my best friend
He's an ******* and she's a **
Don't mess with them anymore
Years of tears wipe away pain
Over come tragic fears with gains
Writing to music inspires the flow
Broken heart heals starts to grow
Got caught up in a lie talking nonsense
Now flipping their lid got exposed
Now tripping talking dumb ****
The life they chose blaming others
That's why it's called SELF esteem
Can't help those who don't want help
Spoke truth no one is listening
Use to being ignored just looking out
Not one to say told you so when right
Gave advice wasting my time
Set in your ways you'll make choices
That suit you best all I can do is respect that

Everyone ends up mad
Can't say anything
But won't take crap from anyone
Always respectful to rude people
Minding this mouth staying calm
Some try to provoke to make you mad
**** you off then play victim
Once checked them for acting up
Put them in their place
Not giving in or letting up anymore

Arguing with sibling
Being the oldest
Lots of life lessons learned
I've made mistakes
A mindful mouth
That causes trouble
Years of not talking
Finally made up
Taking lip jokes get personal
But already know better
Only able to take so much
All the disrespect adds up
It eventually comes out
Respect these feelings
Frustration getting emotional
Then angry by all the dismissal

Lost with these thoughts
Not sure how to feel
One who stays up late
So many thoughts to over think
Took a nap can't go outside
Use to solitude it helps
The silence can ease an attitude
Away to compose center yourself
Get lost inside the mind
Wander around explore ideas
Write them down let them free
Let them be one day to be seen

This nightmare is reality being safe
Its on the new and everywhere Everything is real such a scare
Happy thoughts in a depressed world
Gazing out the window at the blue sky
The fresh air through an open window
Times have changed never the same
Normal to weird sounds about right
Praying hoping God hears
Staying indoors wanting out
Writing has kept things sane
Reading to past time
Watching shows to be distracted

Woke up late
Barely made it on time
Thinking what to eat
Emotions running deep
Everyone is mad in their mood
Not walking into that trap
Block it out by cleaning
Listening to favorite tunes
Feeling the groovy vibe
Memories that take you back
Avoiding others to reflect
So much change from before
New beginnings full of growth
Forgotten endings letting it all go
Not meant to be the same

Not use to help Keep striving
Worked hard Always determined
Self-motivated Showed empathy
Protecting a loving fragile heart
That was broken healing from hurt
Hard to trust a liar never again
No respect for a cheater runaway

Old enough to know better
Some choose otherwise
Missing youth older now
Work to pay bills getting by
No time for dreams on the go
Trusting the wrong people
Prayed for the right ones
From a young adult to a man
It happened so fast time has passed
Feels too late not losing faith
Others will not dictate fate

Isolation not by choice
Use to being alone
Rested not working
Missing that same old routine
Something to do kept busy
Now anxiety is acting up
Things got better now on hold
Paused for the moment
Thought about dating
Was scared to try
Hard but ready to move on
After a toxic relationship
Glad to be working making money
Know what it's like to have no job
Being broke another emotional ride
Always thankful and grateful

Can't sleep wide awake
No say or control
Just going with the flow
The mind is racing
Thinking too fast
Can't think of the words
Not sure what to do
In a panic for a solution
A problem that needs facing
Heart is pacing skipping a beat
Not into confrontation with others
Working behind the scenes invisible
Getting worked up feeling stressed
Mind playing trick heart starts to sink
Hard to breathe thought processes goes haywire

On a road trip to see an ex
With a supportive coworker
On the way lost in new place
Random areas back to college
Years have passed
So much has changed
Some live multiple lives
Barely getting by with one
Get a degree that can be used
All this knowledge applied
Fear of having the same job after
Gained social skills
Asked lots of questions
Couldn't go back to this ex
Everyone moved on to new
Some are married in love
While others started a family
Few are fortunate enough to have both
Done everything but finished school
Always what if or should've done it
Does it matter mean anything

By faith not by sight
Tough times don't last
Faith over fear
Emotions everywhere
Sleep patterns out of wack
Staying inside and write
Music to fill the ears
Too much negativity
Not another stat

Started to share projects
Don't know how to finish them
Need to feel it be able to see it
Really like the creative process
Playing scenarios in the mind
Conversations and dialog playing out
Comedy to make other smile
Romance to feed a hungry heart
Fluttered emotions composed

The sport changed over time
From one art to multiple
Legends retire hard to let go
Thankful for memories
For changing the game of it all
Standards set high for the next
New generations coming in
Analyzing the strengths
Noticing weakness need work
Room for improvement
The sport has evolved
From underground seen as brutal
State regulations standards

The sweetest kiss empowering
Her love so pure genuine
Together full of growth
A glowing soul full of life
Series of events causing distance
Close yet so far from one another
Closed out by many over years
An open heart for one over time
Lost in love blinded by beauty
Always open to change
Removed the mask of pain
Showing compassion empathy
A heart healed full of emotions

Feels like forever
Never ending time
Escape the reality
Imagine somewhere new
A place to escape create
Back of the mind wandering
Mysteries to seek and find
Safe place home base
Books for insightful ideas
Pro-wrestling an outlet
Writing to process it all out

Need to hustle
All the risks
Come up short
Overcome pain
Staying sane
Earn and gain
Feeling numb
Zoning out

Social on the podcast
Sharing an opinion
With out judgement criticisms
Same with writing
Pushed it out of this system
Not arguing with others
Doing ones own thing
So many detours in the way
Multiple road blocks
Bounce back from mistakes
Many friends became foes

Rejection means meant for better
Being denied soon yes will be said
Working hard to stand out
Not a follower walking alone
Leading by example setting standards
Focused on be awesomeness
Pursue greatness without doubt
Rise to the next level
Break through that glass ceiling
Tired of reaching ready to touch
Get to the other side

Laying in bed
The ground vibrates
A huge jolt of the house
An earthquake that felt forever
Silence in this room
With out fear or doom
Not losing faith praying strong
Trusting the walk in grace
Focused on the word
Count blessing be happy
Not more holding on to life lesson
Learn grow and progress

Days seem longer
Nights feel like a blink
Energized should be sleeping
Tired during the sunshine
Naps at random hours
Throwing off sleep patterns
Eating again need to exercise
Exercise the body muscle memory
Stimulate the mind captivated
Spiritual recharge healing soul
Creative process a wild imagination

Faced with choices
Hard decision at a crossroad
Voice mutes hard to speak
Trying to do what's right
Everyone notices wrong
Quick to point out the flaw
Stayed professional worked hard
Kept home life and work separate
Always working no personal life
Asking and wanting something new
Change for something new with meaning
Something better worthy of pursuing
Down time reflecting not on hold
A chance to reset not pause life

Thinking of those NO
Turning them inti YES
Be more accepting
Not be so dismissive
Always open to grow
Listen to new ideas
Appreciate new perspective
Develop new skills
Go on new adventure
Instead of wondering what if
Take a chance not fear rejection
Accept more challenges step it up
Rise above limitations strive forward

Always have an idea
Be open to grow
Develop apply to life
Use the knowledge
Be resourceful inspire
Insightful to motivate
Encourage positive vibes
A thankful smile brighten days
Laughter that lights the room

Made many mistakes
Just want to be forgiven
Old friends now strangers
Tried to reach out Keep the bond
Wishing and praying
Can't rewrite the wrongs
Tried to make it right
Not worthy of another chance
An opportunity to be welcomed
Part of an old life that's tainted
That will never be the same
Ruined relationships hurt others
A dark time that weighed heavy
From trying to be normal
Treated differently so unfair
Had to stay away the distance
Everything fades away
Feelings are lost with time
Emotions change let go of grief

Bouncing around ideas
Cant tell anyone
Not able to rely on others
Looked for an ear to listen
Not a mouth full of instruction
Figuring it out without guidance
Over the darkness need the light
Dark cloud over head fade away
Traded the pain for better days
Full of life lost in love

Part of the world
Working to belong
Won't be kept out
Denied the dream
Pushed through
Can't focus on anything
Became an obsession
Can't see Beyond it
Or want anything else

Not sure how to feel
Not sure how to deal
Facing another obstacle
Lots of growth changed over time
Others think you're the same
Couldn't see eye to eye
Not arguing or fighting
Left it in the past moved on
Eventually crossing paths again
Sober mind coped with pain
Wreck less thinker still destroying
Thoughts of pain so much anxiety
Ignored only needed for favors
Then forgotten another after thought

Things were said back and forth
Not a fair exchange respect is silent
While loud is insecure
Protected them looked out
Had their back a surprise act
Not expecting that the betrayal
It hurt so much things got bad
Not mad or sad just disappointed
Turned away from the pain
Friendship over faded away
One sided contributions
Two faced actions no more

A rebel who enforced rules
Went against authorities
Now complying with it
Asked questions to be ignored
Never got answers denied
Told the truth seen as crazy
Stayed loyal seen as weird
Honest so many mad offended
Being made out to evil
Others negative opinions
Lies influence judgement

Tragic changes happened
A curve ball was thrown
Monkey wrench in the machine
All the bad that kept happening
Stayed positive through it all
Friends divided for adult lives
Failed relationships cutting ties
Stay around for too long
Only one left standing tall
Asking where did it go
How did this happen
Reflecting staring in the mirror
Might be gone now can't forget it
Treasured in the heart living on
In fading memories lost time replaying

Went away never looked back
Needed time to heal grow up
That itch and call to go back
Remember the bad times
Focused on the goal on hold
Vibing the dream to be
Can't be distracted ripped apart
It's shadowed the great moments

Always talked about
More bad than good
Held back thought too much
Should went full force
Nothing the same so much change
Learning to evolve and grow
Can't stay the same open to change
Always ready to turn the page
Can't keep reading the same book
And expect a different outcome
A new book from cover to the end
So ideas new stuff to take in
Open mind to grasp new adventure
Each page with new encounters
Many chapters new experiences

When your mentor goes
You carry take the knowledge
Apply it to life use it to help others
People come and go like the seasons
Some without out reasons
You'd fight to keep them
Other you let them go
watch them leave nothing said
One last hug and say good bye
After many kisses of passion
This will be the last one
Drunken nights with fun stories
Memories some good and treasured
Along with the bad that helped the bond
Hoping to meet again another time
Some good riddance stay far away

Why do you write?
So much on the mind
Don't know where to start
Sometimes it's easier than speaking
The truth offends many
Gave an opinion got asked
Not one to criticize others
Didn't expect personal attacks
Not walking into the trap
Minding ones own business
Stayed away since we don't agree
Doesn't mean we don't like one another
Not causing a beef or looking to argue
Your mind is made up not a debate
Made my decision not a big deal

When will things go back to normal
So much sleep and sleep patterns are off
Can't go out full of energy
Ready to go for adventure
It's all been lacking something
Wipe down the door handle
Before couldn't be social
Many bad moods stayed away
Changed up the tempo more up beat
Altered behavior made it fun
So much more told truth
Being more honest seen as ruthless
Stayed humble through it all

Thinking what to say to her beauty
Thankful for him noticing her alone
Talking excited about each other
They liked about one another
She smiled at him showed interest
He smiled back admire her charm
He had big brown eyes shy
She had big juicy lips a **** smile

Made it through the storm
No fear or terror just want it over
Time alone thinking of what's next
Planning and preparing for more
Things that need to be done
Experience awaiting in the moment
The future unknown growth
Wisdom to gain over time
New romance with magnetic love
Places to embrace every encounter

He wanted to show her love
She wanted love from another
She was deprived love
While he has so much love to give
But didn't know how to express it
They talked everyday snide remarks
One meant well seen it as flirting
The other too it way too serious
Crossing paths on their daily routine
Some days they'd have a connection
Other days a brief hello and smile
Be on their way to finish their shift

They went ice skating together
As friends others thought a date
He never had luck with women
Always passed notes to one another
Trading notes before or after class
A few phone calls with a friend
He went of to college came back home
She would do the same but progress From close to further apart lives
From each other have spoke for year
Thoughts of her trying to remember
Does she remember their friendship
Not able to connect so he wonders

He denied his feelings
Bold to say what he thinks
Never coped with loss
Always on the go
Processed emotions never had control
Didn't always have an opinion or say
If he liked or didn't like stuff
Didn't complicate went with the flow
Kept it simple wrong tainted the way
Didn't let others down cared too much
Faced disappointment felt set up
On a daily basis needed change

Get lost in every page
Tell about that moment
Bouncing back from it
Shared the moment with love
Full of life with inspiration
Stronger than before wisdom
More experienced life perspective
New outlook determined motivated
Can't keep doing the same stuff

Can't compare
Not able to relate
Could only imagine
That life that struggle
Focused on mine
Others never understand
Another testimony to testify
Sins or not still confessing