I respect when others go through stuff but they have no right to take their frustration out on those that dk what's going on or not part of the problem that caused them misery.
Spreading it to others in a time; where people don't say sorry. If they do the apology is not accepted, but a tool to hold a grudge to valid their righteousness.
It's easier to walk away than stay and argue with them because they take on roles pretending to be someone they are know with guilt and power trips. Always had respect even when they cause a seen to manipulate using humiliation. They need to stay in their lane because they don't know the inconvenience to get the job done.

Doing what you love when they don't want you. Expect you to be someone you're not. They try to keep you out but you find other ways to do it make it happen.
Feels like they don't want you to excel acting like you need them or need to go through them to make it. Didn't ask for approval just trying to grow in the craft.
They have this ideals that are not in my favor expecting you to live up to these standards, they aren't even living. I respect they've done it but I'm still doing it and pushing through.

Ready to speak up they'll ignore you. Trying to silence you, by shutting you up. Not one of them no need to pretend. You know how to do their job dk why they act like it's hard. Not like they are the only one. Get over your drama bringing your negativity mess up everyone's day all that shadiness. Smiled under the mask feeling better rise above the bad vibes.

It wasn't his dream or his vision. He felt forced out. He minded his business because he knew how everyone was, and didn't want to go backwards. He loved them, but didn't want to deny, who he was to be liked to be accepted.
They told him he couldn't do it, but he has been doing it. Made he feel bad for having a dream while they made no effort to pursue theirs. He respected their decisions while they'd bad mouth him for trying. Now they are making moves nothing but respect that's their thing.

Back in that space, feeling safe. Trying not to argue make a scene. Don't let those personal issues effect your work. Keep them separate not one of your kids watch your tone. Don't want to go making it easier to leave.
I respect you go through stuff not my problem while at work. Trying to provide a solution for work more inconvenience dealing with nonsense that has nothing to do with work.

There till something better comes along then they forget about. Acting like they had it together destroying you so they could feel like a whole. ******* your soul giving them life.
Giving so much still ungrateful not sure how to act or behave since someone is always offended or mad at you for their insecurities. Bring them up with as they bring you down with them.
Wouldn't give up on you, like they gave up on him. Learned to stay away less stress. Trying to be myself do my thing. With out toxic attitudes or bad vibes.

Somethings will never change someone will always dump their responsibilities on others. Thinking that their life is more important than their child. Not a parent but praying for that day. It would be about them and would do my best to teach them to be good people and treat others right.
Sad that respect and family values are gone. Family is important, don't neglect it because I've learned you get what you put in. Just like anything else done in life.

Going out to dinner was fun just to get out of the house. Noticing people things have changed not the same and some much has changed.
A whole new world, and a whole new place, new faces, and a different crowd. Sometimes its good most of the time fighting it.
The world has changed the style worn as a teen/twenties is now retro and music is now considered classic.

He didn't want her after she was denied and rejected. She chose someone else over him. He knew it was BS and made that mistake before he already knew the outcome. In the end, he would be lying and cheating himself to think it would change.
She had been lied to, cheated on and still went back it made no sense. Why would she spread that pain and misery to others. He saw good in her, but all he got was her worse. From having a crush to being a friend; he eventually shut down, turned his back walked away.
Saved himself from hurt and pain nothing left to remain. Hoping to find someone that loves them self and him as well.

You say funny stuff because it's true. Writing it down being open and awesome with people. They don't always agree but that's opinion. Sleep patterns are jacked. Always seeking inspiration love to create it comes to life before these eyes.
Changes are part of life open to grow learn how to do it and be better at it. Use to tell sad stories wrestle with the struggle don't want to do it anymore. Lots of change for the right for the better. Got over trying to fix the bad seeing beauty in others if they settle that's on them.

When people are so negative you hide who you are rather than give them the pleasure of ruining your day. Not walking into their trap their personal life spreads a toxic vibe at work. You avoid them by listening to music focused on work getting it done. Never let anyone full your shine. Smile while they hate you for chosing to be more over being consumed by frustration.

Talking to an older a friend about their youth for the a better and simpler time. I could see them smile their eyes light up talking about those times that made them shine. When life was fun appreciation for those moments.

Older now not feeling the same
Everyday something new
Time for some change
Family divided not always getting along
Thought about relocating
Never needed until you're gone
But things never change
Always forgotten felt invisible at the time
Missed them but there's no going back

Reaching out to an old friend
Had one anothers back since day one
Something wasn't right ruining the vibe
Had to ask noticed a change in the tone
Things weren't right something had changed
Hot and cold not the person from before
Gave advice most of all there for support
Trying to keep up on friends some let you go
Always took them back flaw and all
Someone has problems lost in the struggle
Everyone is going through something.

Wanted to keep them whole
But things crumbled on your end
No one to blame hard to explain
Change is always occurring
All the pain and memories remain
With time and space it fades away
Stayed strong for them rare they do the same
Bouncing back not staying down
Leaving town one had your heart
The other will always be apart of life
Memories the mind treasures hard to forget
Grew up became an adult all on big jolt

It ***** dealing with controlling people. Half the time they are wrong but still make a scene. You try to joke with them but everything is serious. So you don't say anything. Then they try to dump some BS on you trying to be funny about it. We aren't on that level.
Some play the role as boss and others act like you owe it to them. I respect your place and what you've done but don't try to bring that chip on your shoulder this way. You punk and bully everyone that's why no one bothers with you. Making a scene doesn't justify your actions.

Having writers block ***** sometimes you write about all the possibilities or things you'd like to happen. Sometimes just doing it is more rewarding, doesn't always happen the way it plays out in your head. Sometimes its the worse outcome other times a surprise it actually happened. A shocked it went down that way.

Hate this but staying positive
Trying to do good deeds
always twisting my agenda
Gave my all even if it's not enough
All those betray you keep you tough
Bounce back never staying down
Find a way out don't need disrespect or doubt
On the road keeps my heart from going cold
Stay positive not growing old at heart
Even when the world around you starts to fall apart
Things end but new beginnings ahead

The rising underdog tired of being overlooked
He saw his opportunity slip away
He worked hard to find another way
One way or another he would not be denied
She made him a bff but that's not enough
Friendship to relationship could be tough
Starting over someone new something fresh
A person you never knew too they aren't true
You want more getting less but never settle
Learn to expect nothing but make it into something.

Went to buy comics and though of creating my own
With witty characters and villains who might one day take over the world
I have an inner nerd and want to get it out
Society is always a joy **** you be what your saying and ill do what suits me best
I'm one who could relate to my collects two best friends goofing off and the hero of the day
I'm creating many new dimensions for character give them a world and home before they enter the main plot of the story
I'm in my mind creating a world that makes sense and feels right for my characters the comic would be a fun adventure everyone would enjoy.

I'm the guy who likes to laugh
And tell funny stories
I could be the center of attention but it has consequences
It gives ppl an excuse to talk or twist your words
I've always dated the girl someone else wants but was never informed
I've been hated for being charming
I laugh at insults too many ppl ridicule and attack me for being different
The day I cross paths with ppl things get dark
I'm the guy who gives them reasons to talk hate me make it worth my time instead of wasting it

i do my best to not hurt others
but they hurt you and those who matter most
you commit to someone yu dont love
mistake lust as love
stay with someone you dont trust
you workout but eat bad
you are sad but happy with misery
cheating because you think its right
arguin to make the wrong right
nothing is what it appears
i dont get it i wish i could understand
but you dont care how i feel or what i think
id rather get it right then feel all is wrong

Somedays hard to write
Everything needs the light to be visible
Create make sense harder than being self destructive
The tears dont flow but stress builds up
Mind draws a blank no ideas or visual
Don't care to be normal must have a random twist
Writing should be remember
The reader saying I could only imagine this
Of feel the emotions through the words
Doesn't always feel right but makes sense
Current events collect in the mind eventually
Become fuel to the fire keep it burning
Rants to be heard doesn't mean the madness is cured

I've changed my writing not so bitter and *******
Focused on good giving into positive vibe
To insult a person means your small inside
Believe in yourself when others don't
Try and gain from the experience

i know your right because i dont loathe you
everything between us feels right
until i feel you are true in my heart
you are not the one for me
the kises between use spark bringing light
the warmth of your hand gives me life
your tend hugs and juicy kisses
feel and taste just right
ill say i love you the day i know you are right for me

the rep i had was not true
you cant make me to be someone im not
you hate me over a girl that was never yours
i had fun while you complicated things
my friends mattered more i ruined my relationship
when the found love i got ditched
you alway complained and *******
ive grow alone we grew apart
i let you enjoy life getting married having kids
dont guilt me because i chose to live free
i like my life too bad you dont understand
or see life through my eyes
dont tell me how to feel i may not have a family
but respect your way of life
i may be out and wild not taking it light
pursue my career achieve success that makes sense to me
we are different ppl e are not the same or in the same crowds
i live life act loud  but do it all be proud

*** appeal no big deal
Treat other right with respect
Could be better always whatever
Don't neglect but respect yourself
Others will do the same no more pain
If not want the same relieved more to gain
Everyone equal treated the same
No more ppl being used or mistreated
Lose the feelings of being defeated
Rise and over come keep trying
Only way to be held back taking NO
Not the right answer keep bouncing back
Been doing it for so long feels natural and right

Some days are hard I give my all. I might nudge people because I mean well. It's been a tough week took a beating asked nice while being provoked and taunted. Some days I feel strong other days I feel like glass that can be easily broken but once broken those sharp ends cut and cut deep.
Sometimes it's a fight to be who I am but found change is part of life it will help you grow. I can't keep doing the same stuff moving forward progression.

Fake smiles but broken inside
Times are tough nothing to hide
Goes with the flow till no return
Do damage skip town
No time to cope or deal with consequences
Imagination of madness
Burns a path with no survivors
The wreck makes others aware
Eyes staring no one caring
Protect those who bring the danger
Respect those who have none
The dream buried alive within
Broken spirit shines when fixed
Protect select from self destruction

They calk you names you start to believe them
You throw it back in their face and have the nerve to be mad at you.
Call them on their bs and they try to justify it as right.you stay away because your better off without. They come back like theyve done you not wrong. Life is about going forward not back
They arent right trying to tell you how to act
You escape their maze of lies now they play the victim and cries for forgiveness
You wanted their love but got nothing now love is appreciated else where now they act like they care you learn the hard way life is not fair
You chase success and failures try to bring you down with them. Get in shape others hate. You know what you want they compromise you to settle for less when you should be at your best

I think about returns the only reason I left us to recreate myself
I'd like to stay the same but as time goes on I have to change with the times
I always change it up my workout bores me
I need a fresh different workout
Relationships get stale right away they don't see into my world they see ways to change my world take the vision away to mold into theirs
Mma is great I take an *** kicking to make others better
I coach I hear others frustrations but would rather do something about it than hearing them complain
I've never got a DUI I got silly drunk but no longer want that rep
I'm not being with anyone lays ting is degrading after a while
I do have standards I don't aim low or take what I could get
I'm struggling for a career not a job that brings me up then demotes you
I'm one who works with and inspires kids not trying have my own
I'm not who you see but take time to know me

Sometimes you see yourself
Can't help but to ask yourself
Did you do things like that
But if you feel it most likely
It's too late it's been done
Appreciate on another
Never take things for granted
Single or relationship doesn't matter
As long as your happy nothing else matters
Do what you love let them talk
Feel good about yourself
Respect and take pride within
Smile and laugh true luxuries in life
Passion like fire keep it burning
Love your self others will go the same

The pen helps me feel bleeding out emotions
Hard to express myself to others the ink bleeds on the page.
The page hears my feelings that are deep sometimes dark to a human ear.
Making sense of my pain lost of raw emotions that are not hear but come out in words.
My soul is calm from writing pouring out is soothing to the heart
Not always the good guy in others stories but meant well and always misunderstood.
Things don't always make sense or turn out right
The pen helps my imagine go wild being able to share what's bouncing around in the mind
Writing is alone time putting life into perspective

Some days I dk what to write other days the words flow right through me.
Sometimes I feel like I write the same thing from another angel
other times the word play can be changed up
I always think about what I want to say and how I'd like to say it it can make a huge difference
Things I'd like to say but no one is listening
Thoughts so deep and dark don't want to offend or be misunderstood
Always holding back because the truth is like a blade cutting deep drawing first blood
Told myself to write every day and night
I feel off when I don't make time to write
Post or pen to the pad clears mind instead of holding it all in

Protect the heart hard to let anyone in
You keep them out even though you'd like to let them in
The heart craves them but always starving for love
Search for flaws so if they is reject
you the blow is padded you feel they could be the one
But they usually have someone else in mind
Hard to give love to someone who is blinded by another
Everyday you wonder and would like to ask
but take it slow why rush get to know one another
Don't be with someone you might regret
Communicate find common grown
Both should have mutual frelings
Someone who allows you to be yourself
Appreciates you without trying to change you
Save the heart save yourself for who accepts your ways
Willing to start and make the day with you

I think I threw my arm out playing catch its fun to be involved push myself to belong and feel I belong proving myself.
That's the feeling I love most about sports always doing my best try to be my best on and off the field. I like my training and efforts to go towards something. I want to be in an MMA match before I'm 30 I don't look my age and told myself I'd be in better shape than a teen or better. I've set personal goals I have to stop letting other factors play a role.
Today was an emotional expressing myself being able to have a connection  to something I love.
I do miss coaching but don't want to go back my staff treated me unfair but starting new is the way to get over the bad that's going on.

Once you lie trust is broken
Not bothering with fake keep it real
Lost in your ways, why must I pay
Always open to change everyday
while you choose to stay the same
Memories fade away becoming a blur
Moving on not looking back
Brighter days sun shines
Over this phase clear from the daze

Learning to forgoe tired of being *******
I don't like rude ppls disrespectful remarks
Don't judge me because of what someone else saidw
Get to know a person before coming to a conclusions
I've give may chances so now I stay away
It feels when I don't want to bother there they are
Things don't make sense but I stay real true to what the heart knows
I'm older know what I want and expect from myself.
Don't bully or mock if you need something just ask
Tell your story it's not your business to talk about others
Ready for the day hope its full of benefits to reek of

i dont always have the courage for myself
but i find it when it comes to those who walk in fear
i may not be tall or strong but i know
how to stand up for whats right
you make want to do right by your side
when i stand up everyone bails and trues to hide
you make the rules you break the rules
they dont matter as long as you stay true to yourself and heart

Let go of those tough times one has out grown no longer holding on to those heartaches the struggle the burden is not worth it you can relive the moment in your mind but as time progress they fade and growing is the process that makes you better. Lost love will be found with true love all the hurt will make you stronger and better for the next. Sometimes too focused on what's going on behind you but not going that way anymore.
Sometimes you meet wonderful people afraid to replace the old but those people don't keep contact or want you. Living for yourself for once not saving room for people that don't want you around. It's hard to make a connection when you have trust issues dealing with fake toxic people that use you take you for granted, don't let them dull your shine.
Moving is hard holding back leads to regret no longer in that vice grips.

Claim to have feelings with someone else
Did the time felt replaced
Did favors denied was accessed
Questioned role and where the truth stands
Your way or no way
Didn't pay but took a hand out
Don't like or need until plotted in the scheme
Respect loss kept around till something better came along
Treated you well but let your baby mama run you down
Express frustrations at the people who hurt you
Not the ones helping you out
No feels sorry for you
Like no one takes your crap
Figure it out you can't bs time has run out
Talk behind others back
Mad because others said it to your face
Courage you lack mistaken anger and rage

Making things socially awkward was normal
He smiled and was nice witty but came out weird
It was part of his charm they didn't understand him but he was willing to accept others. They always wanted him to change be someone else. They tried to label him put him in a box. He was sober which helped him see the world more clear. Cleansed his would free from the toxic negative people that judged him. He did things his way pursued his passion too many made him feel guilty for being different. He tried to fit in but being like other people made no sense he was always his own person. He was short but was confident he could hang in the land of Giants. They seen him different because he took care of himself they couldn't accept him so they assumed the worse called him gay or he was educated showed others respect and had manners. Seen everyone as equal and treated them fair. While they held the bar over his head they couldn't live up to these ridiculous standards. He would achieve some success but he didn't see it as entitlement or hold it over others.
They tried to shake him tried to break him but he broke free from all the hatred all the weight of the world he no longer took their burdens in. He stopped listening walked away gave them no say because their opinion didn't matter he was the one putting forth the effort. He took pride in what he did and how he felt about himself. He would share with the world but the world kept him out. He made his own world where it felt right made sense grew and learned to be alone enjoy his own company and write.

He wanted to leave, forget this moment but it kept circling back to him. He felt free other times this death grip on his throat making it hard to breathe. He learned right away it doesn't always happened right away even though he was one that was determined to make it happen. He was one to look out for other but when he needed them they were no where to be found. He was willing to help find a solution to the problem. He enjoyed helping others but they weren't to happy or fond of him because he was private and not one to put his business out there. Most criticized him or judged him for being different. Sobriety made life easier and more clear with good judgement he took on what he could handle and what mattered. Instead of complicating things or putting himself in awkward situations it felt like they came after him. He was not one to meddle in others business unless asked. He gave advice even though they did the opposite and went back to the stuff they said they'd never do again.

Always willing to help others in time of need. If I ever need help, I can't rely, or depend on anyone. It's been a struggle biting my lip minding my mouth said, " your hard work, and efforts will pay off. Doing my job and trying not to stress out. Always helping family, trying to make everyone's life some what easier; while my life feels complicated. Sometimes it feels like I have no say or control.
Made time for things that matter, feels like time is running out. Don't mind doing favors but some people act like they've never been helped or like the favors done; before don't matter, or mean anything.
Don't always have anyone to talk with, or vent to that's why I write. Not one to complain everyone thinks their problems are more important than to take others into consideration. Sad to deal with these stubborn unwilling to change people.
Over being ignored and treated like no body. Once someone needs a favor all of a sudden others include thought remembered for a moment. After everyone gets their way things go back to cold, forgotten for another long moment

Reinventing myself again
Im not meant to be a step dad
Over dating girls who have a child
Cutting ppl out I seen them as awesome
Too bad they **** and sti k on stuff they can't change
Ive begged and pleaded no one listens
Mad at me over some girl who dont want you
Girls who dont take me serious but get mad once im over them
Ive never been one to kiss *** I did what I can to make it right
You cant let go that's on you
I apologized you can't forgive thats on you
By rejecting my apology I took it as go **** yourself
I thought how maybe its my fault but I dont deserve to be treated like ****
Dating ***** getting to know all the wrong ppl
Id rather be alone then stressing over being with someone who dont love themselves
Never emotionally available when I find them attractive
It ***** when I make my way no one care or believes in me
Ive been angry and jealous I go out if my way and nothing
I know ppl who dont try and blessed for days
Im working for mine
Putting in time to better myself
I never think anyone is better than me just different
I can have any girl just have to be confident
Im use to reject the think that mind rapes me is when a person completely changes on you.
Thinking one way but acting another way

The house on the hill in the middle of no where
You can see it from the highway at night you see the lights from within
A lonely home islolated barely noticed in the distance unless you are looking for it
The loud road cars racing can't be heard on the hill looking up from the street
The house looks down on traffic like a watch tower
The people who live there never seen

Called a lost cause for finding my own way
Not a follower and do not like crowds
Quick to point out the flaw then focus on the good
Rather be happy for a solution creating another problem
Not a yes man but definitely not trying correct anyone or change anyone
Respectfully disagree but willing to learn and understand
Just because you reject don't give anyone the right to judge or put others down for their different situation
Most dk what is right for themselves, how can they say what's best for others

I'm a normal person I love to drink
When I say I don't its not to be a buzzkill because I'm not drinking. I never said I was better you make out to be that way if that's what it takes you must not have much going on with you!
I see you do shady and stupid **** but I see it that's on you. Now when I make a mistake would you please **** and not put me on the spot.
How is it my fault your partner cheated maybe if you put out or not such a shallow person you have someone.
You may have same job but going anywhere and I'm the one who's a bad influence.
You want to give *** advice with your STD I think you need to ****

He started to read more escape his loopy wild thoughts that seemed overwhelming not the solution. Feeling his mindset change, he missed being an athlete. It was part of him but aged out feeling like it caught up with him.
He had a place in his heart they didn't always have a spot saved for him. He loved to practice that was where he went all out and gave his all. Even if he didn't get to be his best he knew he brought the best out in others.