They don't like you anymore still keeping tabs on your actions. Friend to foe acting like they dk you anymore. Always changing they can be right in that one. Can't be the same or play those games already made those mistakes. Going forward not back writing it because saying it gets clustered up. The tongue disconnected from the mouth. Saying the truth and real stuff people hate and don't like your opinion. Especially when they asked. Learned to speak when spoken to other than that minding my own.

Use to post and was told write a blog. Never set out to make money off writing it was a way to express myself.  Tired of holding back letting go and living life is the way.
Always writing around things but been writing about them. From my eyes because that's what was seen or from these ears all heard and taken in.
Got the load off my chest just trying to be myself while others pretend to be someone else.

They were best friends it all ended over some smack talking and a girl. Those glory days are over not talking about anymore. Learned to bite the lip and walk away. Forgave for peace and closure. It ***** when people you love come at you. Try to blame for their faulting mistakes, so they can feel superior feel empowered. I think about the people that fell off, I respect marriage and children. If it was for that what would they be doing. Don't look down on the single who lives his life. Who sometimes drinks too much has fun because work is their only responsibility.
Most don't have it figured out but do their best to make the most of things better their situations. Some have help well others work for theirs.

He always communicated got ignored. They'd ask for his opinion to do the opposite. He couldn't open up because they would twist his words against him. He never made plans because the people he'd invite would cancel or no show. If the roles were switched he would be there. He doesn't trust because they cheat trying to blame him for their actions. He gets tired of waiting and asking, because no one cares. what he wants, its not important to them.
When things are going well, someone always makes him feel bad for investing himself. Most of all his time, doing what he likes and loves. No one is happy for him, its never enough. Always discredit his efforts feeling unworthy or whatever he was doing wasn't important.

He sat in his closet writing about the world he once knew. A life he use to live thought about going back. He wanted to finish his education a college drop out that became a custodian. He use to be a team player now he's a rebellious lover who doesn't bother with anyone.
Working hard to better his situation make his grandparents proud he owed that to them. They believed in him when he didn't believe in himself. He thought about what he wanted to major in what would make him happy and doing what he loves. He was always open to adjust and adapt on whatever he was doing

He tried to feel it and see it in his mind. Not let anyone bother or distract him from what he was doing. He'd joke so many got mad took it personal. They held a grudge so anything he said or did made them mad. He didn't like to lie and his truth telling got them caught up. Since they wanted him to lie cover up their flaws and mistakes, instead of owning up.
He was tired of being the middle man, the voice of reason. They would've done, what they wanted anyway.

He wanted to cheer them up but they'd end up ruining his day. He learned to keep a distance stay away. He learned to match energy but some are soul ******* set in their ways. There's no changing their mind he learned this the hard way.
Stopped setting himself of to get hurt, lowered his expectations for others, and raised the bar for himself. He stopped looking for approval focused on what he likes and loves. Not letting anyone take that away from him.

He woke up ready to train go again. Today was Valentine's day he showed love all year he didn't need one day. He did laugh because all the girls, who said NO thought they can do better were feeling sorry for themselves. The nerve to be selective most of all be petty about being single. He called it single awareness day.

A great training session he went hard. He wasn't a great fighter but did like the competition. He learned to slow down focus on technique and form. He had heavy hands lots of strength full of power. Learning to do it from both sides of the pads and gloves. He had fun with it. Made it easier for him to sleep at night

She went out on him, and knew he loved her. She wondered if he would take her back. She made it so complicated to go back would he embrace her return.
After meeting in college both went in their separate direction. He chased his career while she settled down had kids now divorced. They cross paths once again so much change.

What's on her mind; what are she thinking. Shes always mad or upset with him. He doesn't always get her, or the social cues, she puts out for him. He wanted this to work losing his grip on life. Things came and went before it made any sense.
He dram of us, she had other ideas and plans. Made it hard things got complicated.

Tough times with family someone is always mad or holding a grudge. Hard to communicate everyone is right with their pride and ego. Not accepted or listening anymore. Branched out trying to associate with the right. Instead of welcoming the wrong. Open to change without denying ones self for others. Find a way to improve go forward without taking steps back.

Not my business or my problem tried of bad people taking advantage of good people. Always talking about others the coward never says it to tire face. He got loud made an *** of himself and a kiss *** when he needed something. A lost cause acting like everyone owe him for all the drama he caused. Always ignored and exclude but once a favor is needed everything is good

They talked nothing happened, they crossed paths years later. She was a single mom, and working at the bar. He walked away from that life the people he associated. The transition was hard to adapt learning to adjust. Working through the complications that made him stronger.
Dating wasn't the same anymore all the wild single women. Had become moms or divorced

The fighter within wants to strike, a mindful mouth keeping the peace. Dealing with people that are full of it. They tread on others and think they could spread their toxic into your area.
Your personal space dealing with talkers, they haven't done it riding someone else's coat tail acting like their rank means something. Always working hard and the people talking haven't done, or dk what you can do.

Training is hard work paying off keeps the mind and body sharp. Tired of being ignored dismissed because everyone. Spoke up seen as crazy or overreacting. Saying things that were never saying twisting the truth into lies. They don't listen expect everyone to obey. Another moment of truth denied showed emotions to have them made out to be issues. Explained to people, who don't care. Its your problem they'll make it worse.

Called selfish or stubborn for not asking for help but they expect results without them your feelings or opinion means nothing. When you did it no one gave a **** other people get praised and worshipped. They don't believe in you that's infuriating. Everything they told you not to do everyone is doing. When you did it they talked bad about you for trying to be an individual. Never been a follower a leader a trail blazer finding away because not able to rely or depend on anyone unless multiple favors are done

Writing at work during the down time
Never the same looking forward
Watched them grow old full of life
As they watched us grow up
Thankful for them now missing them
Hard to let go when you're not ready
Don't want to say goodbye
Everyday still in denial
Seen it with theses eyes
Till we meet again for eternity

He wanted to make changes someone always deflated his ego. He's not always liked took risks win or fail he did more than most. He wanted to be more tired of settling for less. He dram big and he hurt others to chase a dream. Worked harder than others so he could move up no one was happy for him.
They robbed him of his pride and joy all his efforts felt useless losing meaning and purpose. Trying to stay in tact but crumbling within

Known for all the wrong reasons not that person or living that lifestyle the party life came to an end. Wanted something meaningful he was over casual ***. He wanted the real thing over making excuses trying to justify everything that was clearly a lie.
He was being truthful while everything around deceived him. His friendships ended the only one making an effort.
Women messing around on him because their was no commitment. He usually blamed himself. He stopped welcoming people because he didn't impose his beliefs on others like they did to him

Being sober became lonely he realized drinking was the way he bonded with his friends. Without it they had no way to relate or connect. He realized they'd bad mouth others he'd wonder if he did the same when they were with other people.
He use to like listening to others problems maybe he can learn and grow. But he got tired of providing advice or saying what he would do just to be ignored. He helped them by being a friend while they talked bad but he never shared or told their secrets.
He didn't like when they'd cheat or expect him to cover by saying they were with him. He didn't like to cover or lie when it was none of his business in the first place.

He laid down staring at the wall praying for answers hoping to provide solutions tired of all the problems. He thinks what's next how can he use his writing to be able to move onto the next level.
He always wanted to do his best give his all when hes not sure. How it would all go down.

Missing that old life means you've grown and preparing for something more. Reject becomes easy to expect since no one could provide a reason. After being denied a few times life feels like you're living in denial.
Thinking of ways to exist and stand out just to be ignore talked about. Once you stop caring by focusing on what you love the world doesn't seem so dark. Trying to please people who don't like you that made up their mind about you. Tired of explaining yourself to people that aren't interested in your life.

Sometimes people try to make you feel small because you are a threat to their power trip. Not interested in that role not trying to complicate things, but work hard do what's right. Keep striving to improve be better.
People don't always listen because they just want to tell you.
Writing has been therapy you bounce the idea around try to figure it out like a rubix cube. Able to make sense of these temporary feelings and emotions putting them into perspective.

His pens bleed emotions the page took in the emotions. He was unable to express himself they don't seem to understand. Use to being excluded for being different making witty remarks seen as weird.
He cared for all the wrong people all his expectations lead to disappointment. He didn't care for the hype anymore. It was the same old crap it got old.

Handling change isn't always easy not going to turn out accordingly. Doing it to be selfless so many narrate it out to be selfish. Always doing favors once NO is said that's always remembered.
All the other good deeds don't matter anymore.
Your moment passed moved onto new had no choice they went on without you. About time you did the same all the waiting wasn't worth it.

He loved his family some he got along with while others was an argument. So much ego and pride that kept everyone divided. Everyone talks about respect with the old school vibe. Quick to through heat or shade make others look bad their decoy.
Grandma said don't let yourself to anyone once the advice was applied. he was disowned, never looked at the same. Hurting within but had to move on be better the tough love wasn't worth it anymore. He missed them but didn't like anyone talking down on him, making him feel stupid.
His grandpa told him "don't you get along with anyone" he said "yes but not taking anyone's crap" he was over terms and conditions to be accepted. Why did he have to deny himself, give up, who he is to be considered. He usually accepted most flaw and all without question. He learned to keep a distance not get involved

How long will this hate go on
Will we ever get along
So much betrayal broken hearts
Can't be fixed by an apology
From romance not able to do exist
Can't see eye to eye broken heart
Friendship over torn apart
From a dream coming true
Now a paralyzing nightmare
Now it doesn't mean anything

He never denied his roots but did question someone of them. He felt they went against him he didn't expect anyone to give up on their beliefs but knew it would cause a conflict of interest. He wasn't happy making other people happy. When he was happy they wouldn't be happy for him. Having to pick family or his lover, why can't they coexist. He was in love but the family so judgemental. Never there when he needed them, why should they have a say.  Why did he care so much. He had to unlearn and learn somethings so he can try to keep his world from falling apart

Sometimes you watch everything to make sure it's safe. All these lies not sure why he stayed. He thought They'd do the right thing. All he needed was a chance an opportunity someone to believe.
Half the time it was a struggle ignored but only talked to when they needed something. Covered for people he couldn't expect the same. Learned to not depend or rely on him. When he though they had his back it would end up being thrown in his face. The betrayal was infuriating. He learned to say NO and keep a distance.

Ending the night writing before bed making it easier to sleep. Over all the bad focused on good. Some pictures have him asking what else is going on. He remembers the good time followed by the bad hand in hand. More loss than gains in those moments.
This journey a long way to go, can't go back that means losing progress. Hoping it would change same old BS different day. Same hostility different crow that wants a say. Not easily manipulated or following the deceitful majority.
He learned to ask questions, and do his own thing. Before he cared which empowered people, who used him took him for granted. Now hes matching energy not get drained by those who chose misery over happy. He respected their decision so many impositions.

All he wanted was to be alone. Anything he did bothered people. He never talked about people he told them straight up. All the smack talking got personal jokes turned into insults. He stopped seeking and wanting their approval. More critics talking that never did anything worthy of his time. He lost friends some tried to stand in his glory take credit for his work. He was mad that friends became enemies becoming roadblock and detours to his progress. Family never seemed to understand but always talking.

He sat in his room for hours writing clearing his mind asking abd seeking meaning. Asking. Why this happened, how it all went down. He analyzed everything trying to live and learn from those encounters. Those experiences helped him build character. Doing what he loved things that helped him grow be better. Taking risks on his dreams pursuing goals his life was on hold. He wanted to get back on track.

He would hide in his room and write to help him figure it out put things into perspective. He knew he made mistakes and tried to learn from them.
He forgave himself since he usually blamed himself for being over trusting to all the wrong people. Always opened to grow and learn something new. If he couldn't find it there he had to go else where so he can gain from his experiences.
Encounter new people and places he found closure so he was able to move on. He waited by saving their place but realized; they were gone not coming back.
It was time for him to do the same by moving on with his life. The hurt was real eventually immune to it all.

Everyone was gone he pushed them away. He learned to be cozy in his own skin. He hated who he became too many people in his head. He should've listened to himself, did what he wanted and what he loved. No one seemed to get him trying to label package him into someone else.

Had a dream about you I know you're gone it was good you see by my side. The smartest genuine person I know. I see the van and think you are home. You had plenty of life to live the hardest part is letting go still in denial.

You cant day anything they try to twist your words. Make you out to be the bad guy when they are doing, or have done worse. Trying to cancel you out change erase history to justify these new made morals and standards. Raised differently compared to today sensitive society. Trying to tell people how to act when they dk how to act right themselves.   Never been one to hide behind a computer screen spoke up said something. If nothing got done just focus on getting your stuff done.  That hard work over political debates because so many can BS their way through trying to dump in on someone else.

From one bad habit to the next. Gave up drinking now stuck on sugar it use to be an occasional thing but it became an everyday thing.
Changing up those habits. It became comfort after a few bad relationships and working jobs that lost value. From excitement to just going through the motions.
See things one way but it turned out another way. Working with what's given not too many chances or opportunities floating around
Took some chances and risks to end up back at square one. Ends up being frustrating making a compromise.

Writing with colored pens, makes writing seem more creative. Really enjoying the new process. Changing things up coaching is pushing the person you work with making them better its easier when they want it.
Now being coached is easy but when you are older with limited range of motion pushing yourself to be and do more. Waking up that muscle memory is intense when its been a while. Soreness is a great feeling after because you worked hard pushed through. Got to be able to work both sides of the pads open to learn the variations of combos and drill room for improvement and growth.

That internal struggle doing what's right; while the rest lie and cheat the system. Doing right by their side giving them the best while they cheat manipulate the truth full of lies. Talked about a life together now with someone else doing things you claimed to never do. Never felt worthy but moved into to finding the better version of one's self. For better or worse, flaw and all. Always open to grow and improve.

Asked why do you write because it brings joy and passionate about it. Not doing it for money or looking for approval. This journey putting things into perspective taken bumps lots of mistakes learned to not do them again. Learning to forgive yourself is hard asking what could've been done different or how could it have been prevented. Be better for the future for next time when it happens.
Told stories said some real stuff got closure over things that were beyond out of control had no say in the matter. Took responsibility for ones self stopped blaming ones self because of others