Saying good bye is hard
Especially when you're not ready
You are tired Id like more time
One more day to share a laugh
Make a moment I've grown
Learned so much taking your advice
Work hard and take the initiative
You served your country and a hero
Thank you for serving our family
Your moral code and ethics will live on
Still in denial cant believe you're gone

This year has been tough trying to show emotion but when you protect your heart people think you don't care. Years of being ignored or talking to people who show no interest in what you are saying. Its okay to be alone and figure out what yo I want.
Losing loved ones makes you appreciate life and those that care and take interest in your life.
Social circles shrink and getting stuck in a routine work and home. Thankful to be working since many aren't. The world has showed its dark side so many beliefs that would do anything to be hear to make a point. Trying not to lose faith and walk with grace giving it all to God.

Trying to fill those pages pages not sure how to feel or what to write. New year new day to wake up write do it better at night with music playing. Should be sleeping up late with these raw emotions learning to deal with these feelings that don't always make sense.

Got to watch your favorite team
Wear team colors cheer
Watch your favorite player
Team jersey wear it loud and proud
Nose bleeds good seat
Cheers have a few beers
Hats with team logos
The whole family goes
Good times bonding
Team wins make it better
Team loss has you saying next time
Always a fan alway tuned in
On tv or the radio better when you arrive in person
Show team spurt the great past time worth the time

The game has changed all the bs rules girls make
Its a game but I break the rules
Im simple I know what I want
Girls claim to be over their over the ex
But everything you do reminds of him
Im over healing them till something better comes along
Im over being emotionally invested with a person who thinks about someone else
Im friends with the damaged girls I see their potential but their broken heart side lines them.
Ive been hurt but mostly over being the other guy.
I fall in love she friend zones me or cant be my friend.
She falls in love but always makes me into a project trying to change me.
I didnt hurt you dont treat me bad
She praises the guy who hurt her
She wants him back like hes the one who got away
He chose to leave stop waiting move on
Guys who try get ignored for someone who dont want you

He woke up early for the first time in a while since his sleep patterns where ******* up. He learned a huge lesson he always seen good in others and would stop giving others the benefit of the doubt. They would tell him when he already knew. He did respect them but for some reason
They mocked him and thought he owed them without working for it. He was not entitled but knew he had to work twice as hard to get there when he did strive through they would be bitter rather than be happy for him.

Some days are fine or days my thoughts are stuck in a loop. Hard to breathe trying to compose myself sometimes it feels like my mind is slipping away. The time goes slower than normal. Hard to relax feeling tense and unable to rest so restless. Fresh air hits my face a sense of feeling sometimes the world around feels grey and dark. Trying to connect years of being rejected and disconnected. Things don't make sense to me but no one seems to get or understand my way or thought process. Heart racing beating in my throat. Taste of stomach acid in my mouth.

Stare of into the distance
Look into loving eyes
Gawk at a loved one
Stare down a rival
Always lookin at whatever crosses the eyes

Don't volunteer if you can't follow through
Over all the talk it's best if you walk away
Take the nonsense else where
Talking like you care so there
Wrong to others talk about fairness
Not getting caught up in the craziness
Your not dumb you only make dumb decisions
Hope you take what I say into consideration
If not I tried I was honest don't say everyone lies to you
Bothered or hurt when others disapproval of you
The pain caused seen as a lost cause
Feelings of regret dispiting you and those crooked ways

I know it's not too late but sometimes I pray things went right went accordingly. It feels awfu being the oldest it *****; you set examples and no one follows amounted to anything. You set trends and criticized now everyone turning a blind eye and doing it. I don't drink but when I did I drank like a fish it was fun. Then everyone joined the party and ruined it for me. I drank for fun while others drank because work ***** or going through a tough time.
As I get older I question my place and where I belong. Learn things and get bored seeking answers found closure so many people frustrate me.

Always been short not afraid of big or tall
Things bigger than other match up just right
bigger than ones self able to handle the pressure
Work hard fir the moment
The wait well worth the effort
Tiny stature largest heart in the bunch
Take on the world stand alone
Courage had caused a person to grow
Taking the blame immune to the pain
Speak large knock down the walls
Never be locked in or down
Some stand your side
Others stand in the way
blocking trying to take you down
Bigger than imagined

Dreams of being able to say whatever
Chasing down fakes and phonies gets old
Don't have kids your and idiot unfit
He's cheating you allow it
Or she cheated blaming you
Your job will only take you far
Being a **** doesn't make you right
Take what you can get
But others chose to be the best
This job doesn't separate your cheap
Don't know a person but want a relationship
All these factors seen mean everything to someone but nothing is being done

Everyday is a new day loving the change
Not the person you remember
Being more like me and better
Broke free of the pain
Lots of positive gain
I don't hate you but treasure the good times
You don't know me so why do you hate me
You hurt me and mad because I refuse to let your lies phase
I'll always be better even when you think you have me beat
Not sitting around crying waiting for you to return
Having trust in you is the 3rd degree burn

Woke up eager and ready to go
Tell me no makes me want it more
Did it myself doing my best to maintain
All the pain heals and open to grow
Feeling myself over others doubting
No love but earning my way keep trucking
Haven't happened yet everything falling a part
Hopefully falling leads to falling into place
New friends old friends just need people accept
They can't handle rejection always holding a grudge
They deny others but can't handled being rejected
Woke up grateful doing my thing too bad no one is happy for me
Been doing what I love so no reason to be sad or miserable
Had it once lost it but working to get it back
Things aren't always meant to be every path leads to somewhere
Praying I end up where I'm meant to be been going strong
Take time to notice what's going on because might miss the view
Sometimes things don't feel right but things are going well
Lots of making it better and not enough enjoyment

I feel numb don't what kind of response to give
You make life so hard to live judging eyes
A mouth that speaks everything but the truth
You tire me I turn my back don't ever want to go back I wish you the best I e changed don't make me do bad or ask me to be your decoy
I'm not the crying boy you made she'd tears
Or walking around living in fear of hurting other
Never the same loss of a brother never the same
Guilt is trouble taking the blame
I've stayed positive and lost it all and wonder when I gain or will get the happiness I seek without going through hell to feel at ease

I stay away worried what I might say
I can't be fake act like it never happened
Not close or included or being intrusive
My days feel long inconclusive
Looking forward wanting to go back
Aware of where I'm at and what I lack
Lock the door no one in or out
I'd shout no one would notice

I like thick frame the trend was mine 1st
All my friends **** my style
I've alway worn chucks
Kept warm with my Dickie jacket
My glasses was one of my features
Natural to my face the biggest smile on my face
I've always made my mark
Things go well see the spark
Glasses hide my wild ****** expressions
Quick to react but not holding back
I've been seen as a geek and nerd
Doesn't what you've heard
Not a freak I know what I like and want

You wish you could relive those moments
You know when things felt new and fresh
That first kiss remembered but hoping its not the last
The time you spend when you are apart wondering when youll see them again
That love is else where wishing you could tame it
Not meant to be trapped in a mind torturing fantasy

I don't get why others be happy
I'd be mad to if I boiled in my own misery
I like to laugh and smile while others are ******* and hate
Too many ppl like that not hiving them time of day
Get outta here take that else where
No more jealous insecure girls making feel I'm losing hope and faith
Negative ppl everywhere avoiding them too
The opinions mean nothing listen to your own advice
New friends be there till the end don't bail or leave me forgotten
Laughed so hard see your starting to hate
Spoke do confident you ask who you are and where the hell have you been
I never left I was just left out
Now I'm comeback now I'm standing out once again
I hope this never ends

Making the most of the situation
Times are tough body sore
Mind us burned out stressing
The thought of not know
Growing old and showing
Reflect is someone new
Not who one was or use to be
Things change with time
Once love than hated
Liked again nit worthy if hurt and pain
Over the bad memories that remain
Been a while but it feels alright
Stay away the thought of going back nit an option
Find another way else where

Feeling blessed thankful for the outcomes
I made it to the next level and keep going
Networking with ppl trying to put the plan into play
Found someone special taking it slow
Got a raise growing within the company
Sharing my vision making it a reality
Glad I'm able to do so not settling for less
Getting noticed for the change
My tone and attitude has changed
Sticking to what i m passion about make a living out of it

Many times I move up but not satisfied
My mistakes always held over my head
Others do dumb stuff and admired
I get told I'm doing wrong but you do the same and much worse
My credit is stolen others ride the coat tail
I work extra hard just to get by
I don't expect a hand out eventually it will be mine
I should be this and should be that
But it never happened not going to cry about it
Eventually ill take control of things
Don't use me to get what you want
I'm willing to help but you prefer to ***** others over
One more time I'm getting back up after being knocked down
Coming back is hard but will be done
I have a to do list and will achieve my goals
Ill cross them off my list and won't stop till I have them and happy
I use to fear be alone but half the time I'm by myself
Do things make it happen be the change I want to see

Woke up without worrying shout out
Not living with guilt or doubt
Helped those who look out for me
Honor your word or my respect will be lost
Tried if its not enough put forth an effort
My struggle is my battle don't hate me because you're fake
I'll be true while you are rude and cruel
Everything I like you hate don't try to take it down
No one cares what you like or do I've always been true
You know what I can do that's why you are talking
I called you on your talk and you walked away
I'm working hard not expecting anything its my job and what I love
Writing keeps me from going off the edge
Training keeps me fit so I won't quit
I want to see good in others but they show me their worse
I want to be the best not like the rest
Seeking more hoping to get there soon

The night was right it ended wrong
Heard something that hit a nerve be strong
No more self destruction cope with the pain
Good memories drown out not much to gain
Trusting the wrong want to believe it ends right
You can leave won't be around forever
Eventually say whatever find the confidence to start over
Not settling for less all I want is the best
I'm not perfect but want to be close to doing so
Lots of personal growth seeking closure
Hurting find the power within to forgive
I don't want to give up sometime you have to move on
Tears of relief and new beginings just believe
Don't blame yourself its not you
Sometimes lies are mistaken for the truth

Give her a flower
She loves you just allow her
Hold her close
Sound of her voice
Play with her hair
Scent of a woman
Eyes get lost in them
She let you in
Love and respect her
Trust her or shell leave you
Passion like fire never let it burn out
She picked you
Had her doubts
She could've walked out
She tries to change
Once she's done maybe moving on
Her touch to fix

Always missing you, One day we'll be reunited
Not a day goes by, When you don't cross my mind
You're one of a kind, People like you hard to find
Never the same without you, Our world's became one
All the fun good times in my heart, The day you left the world
You never left the heart, Missing you praying for another day
Never forgotten you blessed my wrong made it right
Now everyday grow stronger, love never fades away
Till we meet again memories will always remain

Been down been out tired of going with
All the sacrifice was a huge waste of time
Gave up in what was mine I'll never get it back
Just want to be me not act like you
My beliefs maybe different they wont treat me the same
I hide who I am so I can be accepted even though part of me is rejected
Trying to figure out a way that works I fel and hit rock bottom don't want to be here anymore
Thought about pursuing the girl but fear her thinking less of me
Went after the job and it did not happen

The person I was is not who ive become
Id drink because I was in pain
Now I dont care to touch it
Id lust because I feared commitment and relationships
Now I get to know a person too bad they are twisted and ******* up
I take on others problems because I dk what to do with myself
Working because I dont like down time I feel I should be doing something. All I have is my word and thoughts id like them to mean something all my sacrifice to be much more

The stubble on my face
Says time to shave
The hair on my hair wild
Out of control overpowering gel
Unibrow needs to be tweezered
Mustache over laps the lip
Take the razor groom the safe
Line up the side burns
Hair comes off exposing the flesh
Nice trip to the barber
Trim the top
Shape the hair line along the neck
Groomed and clean till it all grows back

So a friend brought to my attention went to new york. All I can do is be happy for her. We grew apart and wanted different things. She is materialistic and prefers the finer things in life. I'm simple doesn't handle change very well. If things are good why change them. I found you can't stop change things are always changing. People come and go for a reason some you wish stayed and others glad went away.  I'm not a selfish person if you want to go I wish you the best. I'd wait so we can do it all over again. People hold on to memories but let go make new ones. Transition is hard it never happens right away when it does it's totally worth it.

A leader does kore than most
Willing to stand out from the pack
Sometimes the pack opposes you for wanting it more
You speak up and refuse to be silent but call them on things
You by example while others try to make an example of you
Sometime you break through but those you fight for try setting you back
Youre their strength  because they shareed their weakness
Not using it against them they'll use you as a stepping stone
You help them while they serve you betrayal
The fearless looks past it all to get the job done with or without help

I get tempted to call but she wants nothing to do with me
Id like to hear the siund of her voice
I fell in love now she dont want to friends
I was good and things came to an end
My intensions wete good
Now im left feeling like im no good
I dont want just anyone
Getting my life together so I can be someone
It just ***** how you love someone who is great
Settle for less aim low but thats on her

I don't how people move on so quick Im one who ponders like Winnie the pooh. I think it's weird how some can turn their emotions on and off like a light switch. I respect they left and move on but if I tried to do the same all of a sudden they want back in my life. Trying ruin the new I began to pursue. Before I would drop all I had what I was doing to make it work. I'm not a side project or an option because the current plan failed so you considered me a back up plan. Sometimes I wonder and asking how did this happen why is this happening.  I've learned you aren't good for me and we are not meant to be. Now I can see before I was blinded by denial but now I'm overcoming with the truth.

Being a leader means protect your ppl
Serve and protect those in danger
Willing to risk your life for others
The hero does a good deeds
Without being asked to do so
It's the right thing for the greater good
Save the day save the world
With or without a mask good shall triumph
Evil is the villain that tries to manipulate the truth

Hit the gym hard
Squats for legs strengthen those quads
Bench press for chest gets the pump
Hit it right make it tight
Isolations with dumbbells
Form is everything
More reps with less weight
Maxs out test of strength
Heavy weight less reps
Finish strong last set
Stretch to warm up
Stretch to cool down
Cardio for the heart rate
Gym time best time
Progress body change
Mind set ready for more

Watching the fights inspired me to train! Throwing the softball makes me want to coach.
I have a coach mentality I train myself hard and push others to be better and more
I want others to bring out the best in me I usually work it out of the person.
As I age I don't want to be judges so I don't bother with others
The ppl who judge but with the same flaw or worse
I don't talk I let actions do the work I not the time who drops what I love to please others
Weights are worth my time don't waste my time keep me waiting

Stopped holding it in, protecting the shady that play the victim. They talk bad about others to feel superior can't do it alone so they recruit more haters. Never conform to their made up plan that doesn't apply until they need something. Once you can't they see you as the worse treat you like you don't matter. Sad about these people was open honest and genuine. Treated them right and fair. Now they don't care acting like you own them. They didn't get their way now they don't care about you anymore

A year of insanity things might
Go back to normal not so much crazy
Less pressure tired of feeling divided
On the outside looking in
Not stressing social structure
All this talk causing frustration
Being told its wrong so much fuss
Taken into consideration
Now someone else is doing it

Comparing writing styles
Had a different vibe
A tone more passionate
Always Trying to improve
Sound and be better
Younger didn't know any better
Now older quick to think not act
From heartbroken to heart on reserve
A social butterfly now socially selective
Didn't like change more open new
From wanting to be friends will all
Able to enjoy ones company and music
Loves the creative process becomes real
Feeling and seeing it come to life
Making and recreating a moment

Maybe the tone was a factor
Not able to Open up its all new
Sometimes it's admired
Other times causing divide separation
Some writers are critics
While others just write
The grammar critics reasons to talk
Hard to make friend over time
From friends to stranger
Close friend to distant foes
Get too involved and up kept out
Stay out of it its dumped on your lap
Not the same respecting your differences
Stop trying to change or fix when no one asked

Had an idea faced criticism
Stolen ideas getting accepted
Ignored someone else said it now it's liked
Talking loud doesn't mean right
One sided argument doesn't mean anything
Destroying a public image for superiority
Gather in the masses that don't agree
Shares hatred unifies causing conflict

Back to school year of being the oldest
Balancing out work and school
Don't want to fail hard to balance out the two
The lack of a social life felt numb learned to go without
College in the late 30s an older person New look and vibe for life wanting to learn and apply the knowledge
Don't care to learn about racism
Grew up a minority already a disadvantage

Not everyone is going to be happy for you so do what you love what makes you happy. You made time for it they gave you crap they aren't making or putting forth any effort.
You'd help them but they wouldn't do the same. Its been a growing process putting yourself first and not be seen as jealous or selfish.
Putting on the mitts and gloves felt right working on technique also drilling. Training felt right for once been missing it because of work. Waking up the muscle memory.