Writing takes away the pain
Fear replaced by strength
Doubt fades away more secure
Emotions lined up in their place
Just get it done without complaints
Working for it nothing is given
Can't rely on depend on anyone
Responsible for ones happiness
Be happy within good times don't last
The bad full of lesson glow with growth
Take some time don't be quick to rush

Not use to this  it's all brand new
A nice refreshing change new encounters
New experiences breaking the routine
Work too much hate being broke
Trying to enjoy life tired of missing out
Gave it all never enough going hard
How much more to break through
Made the most of the situation
Doing favors other than that not needed
Made it happen still came up short
Gave more than most still not stuck
Trying to escape from this grip
Transition been on pause waiting it out

Made some changes
Doesn't mean depression
Not into the party scene
Getting older wising up
Don't care for crowd
Learned to enjoy solitude
Lost of reflecting personal growth
Not a yes man for others
Self evaluation personal preferences
Stopped caring what others think
Held on for life to one sided friendships
Let go took those risks pursuing more
Not the same person anymore

Looking back not going that way
Dropped the load of burdens
Striving forward overcome obstacles
New goals are set for the future
Dreams take a plan of action
Time changed the heart
The spirit recharged on the go
Can't find the words feels to wordy
Forgiveness learning to live again
Something real that grows into more

Wide awake no work today
Pondering the next move
Mind is wandering away
Thirst for adventure its been lacking
Needs to be quenched dry mouth
Starved for intellectual stimulation
Down played the ego going numb
Mouth wanted to speak up
Sound of the voice with no bass
Very soft and kind in tone
Not force or demands what so ever
Unlocked fists not looking for a fight
So many set in their ways
Things never change not surprised
Or highly not expected anytime soon
Stayed the same for years only worse
Not trying to argue with a stone wall
Told provide a solution in chaos
Over pointing out the problem
Things usually get worse no control
Before they get better hard to tell

Havent talked for years
No one willing to compromise
Come to terms conflict of interest
No one admits they are wrong
Both moved on but never changed
Same feelings for one another
Never expressed true emotions
Lots of talk nothing got done
One worked hard struggling
The other talked taking all the credit
Had to leaving not meant to be
Staying feeling doubt regret
Distance and time far away
Made it easy to forget by disappearing
Walked away from that life of neglect
Needed new a fresh start did it alone
Open to learn gained personal growth

One line at a time cycling thoughts
It comes together after a while
Finding reason full of purpose
She's a prize easy on the eyes
Communication flows smoothly
Inside jokes that make sense
A bond between two friends
Sharing laughs during down time
Appreciate the good times

Called too nice for showing concern
Always looking out for others
Taken for granted not mad
Should've been known expected
Showing love after being disrespected
Rose above the negativity
Been down can't stay down forever
Always doing more than talking
Never knew the truth finding it out
Starting to figure it out more
Never settle for less be better
Lifestyle change many phases onto the next

Never the artistic type
Always had an opinion
Spoke up made someone mad
Told to ask questions to get informed
An individual walking solo
Not a follower not into hype
Following what's being said
Processing the logic observed the behavior
Somethings wrong being pushed out
Being treated different means something more
Not sure what the scheme is
Lots of planning not part of the plot

Analyze observing the moment
It might have passed but gained from it
Should've been more alter with it
Usually distracted with work into details
Not paying attention to others behavior
Some days everyone is talkative
Other days people are in their moods
Like a mood ring others can be an influence
Take a time out distance without others

Use to argue such a waste of time
Clearly wrong so made it personal
Attacking personal flaws unrelated to the topic
Tried to be more informative not impose
Respectful of others choices and decisions
Don't care for manipulation or force
It's okay to disagree with one another
Respect one anothers opinions
Some think highly of others
While some don't value other beings
Everyone s different and that's alright

Can't change the past
Let go been feeling free
Embraced the present
Not overthinking released
Thought it matter turns out it doesn't
Always open to inspired change
Made some mild changes with love
Things stay the same it's okay
Just means personal growth
Not influenced by others
Asking what's needed to progress
The steps required to get there
Take time to make it happen
Prefer behind the scenes working
Over being a front lead taking blame

Not trying argue
So much change
Around the wrong people
They bring up the past
Triggering bad behaviors
Can't fall back into those ways
Coming along way no going back
A mouth ready to snap back
Silence is better than overreacting
Thought about the consequences
Saying the truth not taking on the world
Everyone full of lies not imposing with truth

She has a heart warming smile
Eyes light up when eye contact is made
Her own unique style
A jean jacket with her colorful skirt
With her boots kind of tom boyish
Her own unique flare trendy
A personality that is persistent
Attitude consistent with charm

New to the building
One side set both in the works
The other began to grow
Lots of change before these eyes
From empty rooms to offices
Fully equipped with great people
Classrooms with new desks and chairs
Never felt part of anything
Don't always belong or fit
Working behind the scenes
Not a follower trail blazing
Walking a lonely path leading
Personal growth gained confidence

Hand stained with pen ink
Writing for hours full of life
Working hard another project
Having fun seeing it coming to life
Feeling emotions lost in the vibe
Another notebook new look perspective
Way more rewarding with satisfaction
Not thinking of an exes drama
Focused on what's next without hesitation
Holding on for life letting go falling into new
Taking risks ready to pursue a dream
Consequences for having an opinion

Working hard makes you humble
Earning every cent makes you greatful
Giving it your all or nothing
That rest that is refreshing
After a hard day so much gained
Digging down deep found new confidence
From looking down to focused forward
So much progression less obsession

Rise above the negativity
Always worried for other
Most never cared for the struggle
Went through it alone learned to grow
A new heart within starting to show
Wanted to make peace found inner peace
So many mad holding a grudge
Not the same or a like stop comparing
Tried to talk it out be respectful and responsible
Not taking on frustration trying to argue
Worked for everything more humble
Not given or handed Everything
Don't owe you and not falling into place
Been an individual struggling to get ahead
Usually coming out even barely getting by
Thankful for all effort not always given full credit

Everything changed with time
Was told never snitch
Everyone is telling
Be down for yours
That means work hard
Earn a living put in work
Be responsible for yourself
No time to be fake kept it real
Why bother with phony people

Small in compared to giants
A huge heart like a warrior
Always overlooked the hardest worker
Never ran his mouth minding his business
Usually straight to the point if he spoke
Wasn't one to start things but finished them
Never backed down worked earned respect
Thought highly of others seen good in most
Most looked down on him for settling
Never used others found his own way
Took anyone for granted to get ahead
Smiled happy to see others
With genuine heart that cared
While they hated him for being different
He made the most of everything
Worked with what was given
Made the most of life
Not seeking others approval
Or giving up on himself to be liked
Use to being alone not always liked
Rejection didn't bother him
He enjoyed his own company

He didn't always belong
A fight to fit in be part of something
After a while he didn't care
He'd walk away from it all
He reached out worried for others
No call back or returned text
Eventually gave up on others
But not himself felt greatness within
Even if others didn't see it or believe in him
Hard to love because the ones he was liked
Ended up with someone else
Didn't always show emotions
His heart meant well denying the truth
sometimes got the best of him
Once he moved on the past would comeback
Trying to escape be on his own
Meant being left alone deep in thought
Trying to figure it out come to terms

The struggle within
The inner athlete wants out
While an older body doesn't heal
React or feel the same as before
Through intense physical activities
The mind blocks it out pushes forward
Unprepared body feels pain
Pushing wanting to stop
Soreness use to be for a day
Able to adjust struggle to adapt

Loyal to all the wrong people
Mocked for not able to attend
Hours changed an inconsistent job
Not able to be consistent
Shaken up by friends deceit
Betrayal is like a hit by those closest
Knocked down another blind side
Back up once again not getting even
Not pretending it didn't happen
Still love them but staying away
Keeping a distance to heal
Don't want to hurt feel that way again
Hard to trust after dealing with lies
Fooled thought there was a connection
Friends to strangers never the same
Failed once already know the outcome
Not worth starting or trying again

So much wrong going on
When you do right its weird
All these lies spread
No one believes the truth
Harsh reality no more pretending
To be accepted denying yourself
Around the right people
Be yourself and be free
Always ready to work for it
Don't cheat yourself give
Maximum effort to the next level

He stopped thinking about her
The girl who broke his heart
Thinking it was love but lust
She claimed to love him
Now with someone else
He moved on couldn't wait anymore
He thought she'd come back
His heart said there is no going back
He fear rejection denied his feelings
Always assumed the worse

His anger pent up
After being challenged
He stared at this man on drugs
Under the influence being bold
He thought beat this man
It was pointless filled with non sense
He feared the consequences
Thinking what could be loss
This person lost it already
What would it prove
He stood tall composing his frustration
He walked away and prayed
He wanted Justice for this
So much injustice trying to do right
Trying to make it through this work ahift

The rainy weather
Brought out the crazy
Most avoid the rain to stay dry
So many people on the street
He was good by himself
Use to being alone
Dealing with rude people
Was his dilemma at the moment
He enjoyed rain took his frustration away
The smell of wet concrete
Rain drops on his skin
Cleared his mind took deep breaths
His integrity insulted by thought
That rush of anger imploded within

Times get tough
Pray
Dealing with the wrong people
Pray
Things aren't going right
Pray
Not feeling it
Pray
Internal struggle
Pray
All the bad leads to right
By praying

At the track five miles a day
A teenage outlet then reality hit hard
Working couldn't focus on school
Got lost in work during a break up
Work so much forgot to live life
Then job got hard nothing was left
His ghetto side wanted to say F* it all
While he remained professional
Needed the money to pay bills
Didn't settle but took many detours
So many side tracks over back tracks
Not towards his destination
He saw the encounter as experience
Learned the life lesson gained from it

All these lie
Not wasting time
Loving life not a crime
Living life been around
So many walking numb
Acting dumb stuffs no fun
Noticed a change got distant
Cared too much stressing out
For the wrong people
Worrying too much never enough
Gave every ounce of energy
Everything to make it better
Doing what's right not argue or fight
No interest after trying to fit in
After years of being kept out
Being shy just said Hi
Things got started
Usually one to finish it
Onto the next level

Another day avoiding the chaos
Sad for those insecure over doing it
Avoiding people was easy
Being told to stay in
The rebel within says go out
Rainy weather makes it peaceful
Haven't thought about it for a while
So plain so unique in social gatherings
While alone isolated from the world
More common feels like home
Life on hold still open to grow
So many returns from falling hard
Another bounce back moment
Never the outcome expected

People act like the world has come to an end
So much shut down not going forward
Some be ******* over others
Cut them out thought about reaching out
The damage is done beyond repair
Once cared why go back to be treated unfair
Could've argued or said something back
Not worth the time stay calm
Don't over react to nonsense
Shut down the games a huge waste
Stopped seeking for more pain
Not even worth talking about
Clearing the mind of chaos

What's missing
How do I find it
The heart feels so much
A mind that knows best
Mostly at conflict hard to rest
Can't live or be that way
Those bad habits won't last
Working hard to accomplish goals
A dream in a world of nightmares
So close yet short of them
The dance with reality such a tease

Faith over fear
Not afraid or backing down
Can't do it alone
Been going strong
Learning to love again
It's not wrong
With the right person
Love starts from within
Grows for everyone that's true

Writing dialogue
Thoughts that need to be said
Conversations had but fully alert
Hung with friends able to open up
Hard to trust years of being betrayed
Kept out to be inside not hiding self anymore
To be liked accepted by the wrong people
Stopped looking around the right peeps
Thankful for the blessings
Learned from those life lessons

Said real stuff so much regret
Minding this mouth hard to forget
Not begin self destruction anymore
Can't walk back into that trap
All the lies keep on talking crap
No reasons that make sense
Moved onto the next season
Always open minded to change
A closed mind doesn't see a difference
Between wrong and right

Gazing out the window
Not able to go out
Watching a boxset of comedies
Series of a show to pass time
Can't go to work too much free time
Antisocial on social media
News reports causing stress
The world in a panic not losing faith
Avoiding chaos not into insanity
Ordered cheap books in the mail
Need to stimulate the mind
Wish they'd get here sooner

Another page full of thought
A way to share emotions
Express an idea without criticism
Pen in hand feels right
Ink on pages with feelings
Each line brings it together
Composed after the process
Without influence of others
Writing for fun with a smile

Not going back about that life anymore
So much progress going forward
Choices and decisions were made
Personal grow life lessons with gain
Stronger mindset full of sharpness
Clarity of mind sobriety life style
Sober living not giving it up
Never falling back into bad habits

Who knew you'd be stuck inside
The reality feels like a horror film
People acting crazy hoarding TP
Food while the elderly struggle
Health scare for many
Health care limited for few
Times are tough faith over fear
From hiding in a room to relax
Feels like a cell with no escape
From working too much to waiting it out
Life on hold emotions numb
So much coldness growing old

Cold weather easier to sleep
Rain washing it all way
Enjoying a book to read
Mentally stimulated by each page
Body recharged after a nap
Cooped up inside need to head outside
Take in fresh air one breathe at a time
Still need to record a podcast
Not sure how to show emotion
What words to say trying to live normal
Among the insanity going on

Been a while
Hard to trust when a friend
Bad mouths you behind your back
Gets with a crush a knife to the heart
Steals the vibe shattered like glass
Violates your trust broken into pieces
So much disrespect stayed away
Friendship lost value worthless
Feelings numb filled with betrayal
Emotions shut down full of hurt
A loathing heart trying to forgive
Time has past moved on to better
Found new love learning to trust again
Pain fades away healing with growth
A stronger mind protecting the heart

What to say sealed lips
How to think mind is racing
What to feel with this heart
Not sure cant find the words
Laying in bed rest less
Lost in the word of God
Feeling saved and healed
Church sermons silence the noise
A spiritual recharge such a blessing
Not giving up on faith full of hope
Learn to walk with grace
No longer lost in the world

Writing in this journal an outlet
Frustration released the tension gives slack
Thinking before taking all the backlash
Knowing the consequences to these actions
Telling it these feelings pent up from within
Showing emotions with expression
Things that can't be said being respectful
A mindful mouth that can destroy the insecure
Considerate of others even the rude
Deep dark remarks for a marked tsrget

A hug once showed appreciation
Now everyone is distant emotionless
From love and caring to disconnected
From friends to foes now complete strangers
From having one others back to backstabbing
Holding a grudge onto the bad evil thoughts
Letting it shadow the positive memories
Mistakes made unforgivable filled with betrayal
Not able to forgive the other person
Forgive yourself for peace to have closure
The other person will never see things the same
Broken trust can never be restored
Friendship ended falling hard
Never talk anymore the season passed
Years have passed not forgotten
In the heart and memories
Of a time that once was
Ruined passed growth in the future
Loyal and true even when cruelty cuts deep

Can't run and hide
Time to live be alive
Don't always clash with bad vibes
Time alone thoughts with growth
Always looking out for others
Not always emotionally available
Physically there but mentally else where
Need to be more present lost in work
Set a standard challenged ones self
Can't settle for less working for more
Learned to save to better the situation
When spending thoughts of be ready to work
Making plans and setting goals to achieve
No more going through the motions
Push through the tough times
Be inspired to make change
Be the change motivation from within
Not knocking others to improve
Changed behavior and mindset towards life
See it in the mind strive to become a better version

Remember those eyes full of life
Now a cold blank stare
Tried like existence doesn't matter
From being welcomed in to closed out
No emotions shown blocked out like a stranger
Shutdown feelings lost it all no reedemption
Flirting with a thin line the rush of danger
Love is gone dried up no second chance
The intense hatred to the point of no return

They stole his friends TV
He tried to prevent the robbery
Got punched in the eye by the theif
If he was sober things changed
Would've things been different
Waking up the next day with a welt
He's eye swelled shut a black eye
Hung over defeated over the weeks
From a series of events had no say
Had no control was lost so much insanity
Drank more to numb the pain

I've always been honest with people
Lies take too much work
People try to label you and box you in
Make you out to be someone you're not
They want you to vent but there's no trust
Always treat you bad disrespect you
Acting like nothing happened
Like all their wrong doings are pardoned
I've ******* up made mistakes
But no one is suppose to fix me
I'm responsible for my happiness
Getting it done making it happen
Emotions through the ringer
Worn out can't help those
Who don't want help or want to change

Once you learn inner peace
Don't let anyone take it
Made peace with the past
Forgiving within found comfort
Being alone praying more
Love for family is strong
As the oldest I know my role
Not being what others say
Confessed to God to heal
Man uses my weaknesses
Against me Manipulate
Expressed emotions to be dismissed
Writing to heal found closure
Strength through God
Lost in the word for obedience
How do people live multiple lives
Struggling with one to get by