Trying to be honest
Lieing eats up the insides bleeds out
So many offend for being called out
Always told straight up
Treated differently for having an opinion
Criticized for having a goal
Seen as crazy for pursuing a dream
Could be better still not settling
Squatted after being told off
Being disrespected stopped listening
Attacked by bad attitudes
Getting the backlash
Frustration caused by someone else
Knows about sacrifice to get through
This journey to be an individual
Called a rebel for taking a stand
No one believe in your work
Only expecting results as proof
Like your efforts don't matter
Use to being denied not accepting it
Being rejected means meant for better
Laughed at by family who never tried
Mocked by devious people
Who don't understand
Nor do they care
Since it's not about them

Some days are great
Others fueled by irritation
Easily annoyed by everything
Wanting to say something
Not trying to overreact
Crazy actions in the back of the mind
Scenarios hyped up and extreme
Trying to stay civil and calm
Lost so much burnt out
Holding onto the little earned
Thankful to be placed
Doing something contributing
Bouncing frustration unattended
Could've started beef left the bad guy
Wants to speak up tired of the lies
Tired of pretending it didn't happen

Confronting the things
That cause pain
Analyzed the hurt
Putting all out
Too much over thinking
Letting it go inked out of the system
It all comes out on the pad
Dried tears empowered by faith
Overcame fears found hope
Sobered up thinking clear
Locked in a room healing up
Safe to come back so much change
Everyone gone went away

Tired of proving yourself
Never going to be accepted
Denying yourself to be liked
Called selfish for self care
Showing emotions labeled as gay
Disrespect from the person
Claiming to have respect
Dealing with phonies
Being chummy for information

Didn't know anymore
Older and wiser not the same
Things are not what they appear
Overwhelmed by fear
Seem too complicated avoided it
Never the first pick
Thankful for opportunity
Broken just want to feel whole
Be normal whatever that means
Same chance as everyone else
Made work fun but not happy
After a while pondering life
Where did it go wrong
Able to turn weakness to strength
The past doesn't make a future

Stressing out over it all
Messing up about to crash
Hit hard been her before
Didn't like it trying to be better
The struggle is real finding a way
Unreal hard to feel
Dealing with the struggle
Trying to cope not lose hope
Don't want to lose or fail
Holding onto the little
Never about material possessions
Forced to grow up feeling old
Child at heart mind so wild
A bunch of ways of life

Someone is always disappointed
They don't talk about
How they use
***** others over
Once they don't get their way
Given multiple chance
Some make one mistake
Then cut off forever
Jealous faces blaming others
Good people made out to be bad
The stories sick and twisted
Took the high road
Bullies still doing the same scam
Cheating to win lying to feel secure

Always defending the wrong people
Lying to myself justifying the wrong
Not always accepted
Why welcome their bad ways
Use to being turned away
Finding away to be better
Something to call your own
Waking up seeing clearly

Tried to make up for missing
Work felt tripled trying to help
Feels like time is running out
An older man wants to be young
Try to have fun life so dull and boring
New activities and new hobbies
Friends are getting married
Having kids family first
Working nights being responsible
On different schedules letting go
It was hard emotions fade
Feelings going numb feeling dim within
Wanting to scream things wont change
Life goes on starting to age turn the page

The cold weather slept most of the day
Praying for others listening to music
Plowed through it all not afraid
Wanted to bring them along
Some got left behind forgotten
Ill always remember the moment
Wanted to be the hero help others
Some don't want to be saved
Everyone departed living another life
From the group some started a family
Some chase a dream that may not happen
Doing what they love but no gain
Some working to invest in their projects

He was made fun of but family
He grew up poor and wanted more
Never settled for less and had to work
Couldn't settle for less
Got tired of being distracted
Lost his way on a different path
Went to college set the bar
His siblings drifted away
In a bad relationship settling for less
He wanted more for them
It's their life he let it go
He didn't know them anymore
Everyone grew up became their own person
He respected them as an individual
They expected and acted like he owed them
He was never rude or disrespectful
They talked down on him he stayed away
Everyone vicious set in their ways
He prayed and went on his way
He forgave them and himself
From who he use to be
The path he chose was the walk of faith

Where to start
The end is near
Time to start pursue new
Let this heart grow
The soul grows and glows
Praying for strength
Overcome the fear
Shared feelings and emotions
Became an awkward silence
The intensity wasn't reassuring
Made others uncomfortable

He was scared of success
He did love his family
Why would he be the one
Taking care of everyone
If he made it to the next level
If he made they'd love him
If he failed they'd look down on him
In the end he was never seen the same
He rebelled drifted off his course
Always held to a different standard
From the rest he gave it was never enough
They expected more
He always felt like a failure
They were quick punk
And push him around
Talking big but didn't do anything

How you don't talk to so and so
We aren't friends departed
Talking behind my back being two faced
Respect you more if you said it straight up
You do your thing doing mine
Doing my own thing
Never been about material possessions
But live life to the fullest
Both have our own plans
Our own life praying for you
Just because we don't talk
We don't see eye to eye

He thought he had time
Almost 40 lived a wild life
Learning to settle down
Dated all the wrong women
Trying to find the right one
Feels like time is running out
Working to support his craft
Always around family
They always kept him down
He wasn't in a rush
Been hurt by an old crush
All the lies deceit hard to trust
Injuries finally healing
Not the same with the pain
Bones ache in the rain