The old neighborhood most of the kids moved off the block. Only one kid still lives there he's the lifer. Most of the kids got in trouble with the law or triangles in their bad habits. Growing up I was the chubby kid but I heard fat more often.
Before my brother passed on I had someone to hang with I have more siblings but I'm the oldest by six year most of my siblings are 3 years apart. I'm the oldest of 6 kids but there's 5 now.
We grew up on a coda sack lived in a 2 bedroom house. I don't like to go back but when I pass by it reminds me of my youth a kid who wanted to get out. I'm not the great big brother but I've learned to understand by watching my siblings grow up.

Thinking about the past
Had a blast
Times have changed
Goodtimes turn bad
Tried to date lots of hate
Single life still getting heat
Couples hate gave up on the single life
Do it along while those dysfunctional parts
Fall apart with time
Open relationships lead to someone closing down
Exclusive is just a title over time it's redefined
Seek love stop wasting time
With a face no real emotions
Looks fade with time dried up limes

Why do ppl want who they can't have
And reject the ones whom want them
human behavior amazes the eyes by others actions
Shocks the ears by the words utter by the mysterious
Most say one thing but do oppose
Or contradict themselves by saying
"I would never"
Sometimes you want to say something but it's never anyone's job but the persons to be responsible or do the right thing
Questions bubble in the mind
Why or how come that person is given more opportunity after man ***** up.
Others walk eggshells and follow rules still come up short

Another night of pain
Jogging leaves the body sore
Immune to the training the rage
The better the body feels
The mind wants change
Demands the wrong be set right
All the faces turned their back
Now your moving forward
they lack on to hold you back
Tired of being promised lies
Trusting in others has lead to failure
Forgive those who treat you bad
That's not going to happen
Believe in others they do nothing
Others find love but reject it
Many have what I want wasting it away
Tired of being denied for someone worse off
Done good everything is bad

So many angles he could see the possibilities but the outcome never turned out accordingly so may paths and directions he fears going the wrong way made decisions that seemed right but he was wrong. He didn't want to feel stuck live in regret so much on his mind hard to forget. Sees himself as more but living a life he never thought he'd be living working hard and never giving up. He loves to create he enjoyed the process he sees it and feels it connected so deep and straight to the point. He did it because he loves it and passion about it not in it for the money but if it came its a blessing in disguise keep working hard success is a surprise always making an effort to rise grow within the project and work all this hard work doesn't hurt.

He was a huge sports fanatic when he didn't have a job. Now he barely has time for himself and trying to get back into what he loved. He enjoyed a good book and appreciated comedy he did love to make the people around him laugh and smile but everyone took life too serious.
Anything he did seemed to bother others he did love to train mma but everyone thought he was trying to pick a fight with him. He never claimed to be a badass but did like to fight for the competitiveness of the sport. He did train with people but they would not show up or hold up their end, he would become frustrated eventually he learned to be alone.
He was determined it was an addiction, anything he did he wanted to be the best at it. He had so many crowds and friends. He was never the leader but the mouth piece the voice of reason. He spoke up some loved him for his honesty while others hated him for it. He was straight up that's what good friends do. Most went behind his back bashed him pretending to be loyal to his face. He found out the true friends let go of the fake ones.
He got involved with a film group because he wrote scripts wanting to work behind the scenes because being involved or a lead was overwhelming. He gave them ideas, he was not heard, ignored. He gave them the idea to do a podcast later they would kick him out and act like they were the master minds behind the show. He did object yet again he was not being heard. The podcast had a mild fan base, no longer fun for him. He decided to leave the group since it was no longer fun and it was no longer his dream or vision it did come true but would grow into something more without him.
He had another script he had been working on for years so many characters no faces just dialogue and characters with personas that stood out.
He hung with bands made suggestions but creative juices floating around everyone with their own inspiration and influenced. The creative process such a high stimulating feeling that is hard to get enough of.

She noticed him and he noticed her, there was a sparkle in their eyes. They would meet through a mutual friend. He smiled and said hi. She noticed his ****** piercings and asked if it hurt. Both with big smiles. He noticed her brown hair that was curly like curly fries.
They talked got to know one another he was brown and she was mixed. She enjoyed his company, he was not use to anyone caring because he grew up with tough love. They spent time together it was rewarding and all new to this late bloomer. He remembered the first time they kissed it was magicial intense his heart skipped a beat things felt right for once.
Eventually it would be short lived since the puppy love fadee away. From close to complete stranger being in the same room was no longer possible. They got anxiety and not able to communicate.

When your Dave song come out
You can't help but Cruz
The tempo is set
You get put in the mood
Not in a hurt other drivers are rude
going from point a to b
Slow or fast doesn't matter
As long as you get there with grace
Driving isn't always a race
Get there at a steady pace
Alway ready to give s lift
Road trips get you lost in a drift
Curves and turns stay on the road
Regardless if the weather hot or cold
Make it there just go anywhere

Been writing stories for my friends sharing my experiences. I'm not one who catches feelings right away. I like to watch comedies I've made all my hurtful moments into a comedy.
I've been good writing consistantly getting my ideas out when I could post them.
I use to be an angry writer attacking others I saw them in front of me and wrote things I wish I could say.
Writing has helped me grow and cope see things from a different angle.
I dare to inspire encourage others to be more and not settle for less. I'm trying to move up and grow being a trail blazer making my own path is hard but its what I want for myself.

He laid his head on her lap, she played with his hair asked him about his day. He looked at her and smiled. Thankful he had her, he wasn't confident but glad he made an effort to pursue her. She held his hand and kissed his forehead. She laid next to him and pulled him close. he was big spoon and she was little spoon. She would put her ear near his heart and hear it beat. She like to be close because he was warm and she got cold easily. He had a hard time sleeping he didn't want to miss a thing when they were together. They'd watch movies and tell stories share their deep dark secrets and express themselves in a healthy manner.

He lived on the ghetto side of town; working hard to barely get by. While she was born privileged without a worry. She always had her way, and never heard "no". She was always given opportunity; while he was fighting to fit in; survive in a tough cruel world.
Her family said, "she could be, and do anything." While his parents told him he was a no body and would not amount to anything. Who knew two people from different worlds would cross paths. He dreamed of being more, and wanted to do great things.
Their first encounter was at a college party, she didn't find him attractive but she did admire his honesty. No one ever called her on her crap, she was wrong but always justified it. He would not let her pull the wool over his eyes.
He was not one to fall in love when he loved and it failed he hit rock bottom hard. She would try to restore his faith in love but he was too stubborn in love with someone else. She wanted to help not quick to give up on people. Her fight for him to love her was a tough conquest since she made up her mind and knew what she wanted.

Pro-wrestling is something; I've always loved. I got made fun or teased. It was a world of action, and story lines. Somethings I loved, others were time killers in my eyes. I remember being a hulk hogan fan and then Ric flair fan. With Hogan you are strong doing what's right. Flair had it all women and money. He was a heel and Hogan was the good guy. After the 80s ended the late 90s would have the attitude era. With stone cold and the rock. So many wrestlers had gimmicks or themed for better words.

cycling thoughs of insanity
my mind moves thinks faster than i could speak
see things done more than one way
i think of all the possiblies
right or wrong play it safe
no means yes
yes means no
only you know what feels right
you know you way will work best
other might not agree
the truth they fail to see
you said and have done it but thats not enough
you comeback to where it all starts
trying to remain the same not fall apart
the cycle must be broke and the world will feel right
change will come the chain of sanity breaks
no more hate hapiness and the world feels just right
the thoughts start again cycling over and over again

Always focused on being awesome
Not sure how to be with one when im use to flirting with the world.
I speak my story I share my life in words
Feels good to be me once again no more hurt and regret
Live life and forget all the past
Let it drag you down the world will pass you so fast
If you didnt do wrong just grow strong
If you did love yourself dont let it turn to hate
Dont let failure it rejection dictate fate
Free your mind body and soul of burden
So you could be free enjoy the world live life
Knowing you loved with time youll find love and try again
Live life give more and the gain will be greater
Destiny will happen sooner or later

Wrote her a love letter
She didn't love the same
Up north in the cold rain
Reliving old pain not the same anymore
Soothing the soul flashback images
Captured a moment in the mind
A broken heart that healed and scars
Growing from the past an old gift
Live in the future enjoy the present
Happened so fast didn't last
Can't change the past but thankful
It happened lots of gain all the pain fades

Wide awake fireworks going off
An irresponsible cousin
Including you in the shenanigans
Be where you need to be
Do what you need to do
Use to be young and dumb
Can't live or be that way forever
Always willing to change
Some set in their ways
Dk any other way
Prefer to stay the same
When a child's involved
Be more want more for them
Be able to provide step it up
Do it for them your time passed
Something new to learn and grow

Always feeling provoked
Trying not to fail or choke
Hot headed seeing smoke
Been around not afraid
Never backing down
Showed up to battle
Mofos get rattle
Talking not working
Can't hang in this game
Overcome the pain
So many bad memories
Come up finish strong
Gain from the hustle

Loyal to all the wrong people
Working in the landmines
Dealing with BS not obsess
Raging attitude coming out
Giving it to God he'll provide
Dealing with devil full of lies
Bring things down falling hard
Explaining frustration
Not a follower roaming solo
Or lead doing my own thing
Coming out like hate
But not about that

She claimed to love him
Now she denies knowing him
Acting like it never happened
Hiding a secret like it's *****
He loved her but didn't know
How to say it didn't want to rush
Feared she turn him away
Shut him down she already did
A loving smile to a cold emotionless stare
From a warm touch to lifeless vibe

The heart of a child forced to grow up
A part timer doing more than the full timers
Find peace in writing not in people hard to trust
Love my family and struggle trusting
My mom would rather drink than put kids first
Take dad to work to start my morning
Use to be fun a wild child lived life to the fullest
Now I'm boring working being responsible
Can't date the virus dictating others faith
People get tired of you so fading in an out
Same old writing style they start to pass on you
So many wear masks altering who they are
Dk why wearing one bothers them
Barely understand myself
Trying to adjust and adapt
Can't fix or figure out others
Trying to be me that's all I know
Got hurt trusting in the wrong people
Still doing good what's right
After showing vulnerability

In shape worked out hard
Asked what drugs are you on
Dressed nice has some style
Took pride in appearance
Seen as gay or too pretty
Backed up the wrong people
Quickly got double crossed
Spread good vibes
While taking the bad
Hard to love yourself
When everyone is miserable
Cheered people up to feel better
Bad attitudes infecting everyone
Moods ruin the day for others
Bring everything down for caring
Liked to be around people
Now isolated from toxic vibes
Seen others be self-destructive
Hard to watch and take it all in
Would rather stay away disappear
Tried to be there for it all
More bad than good can't help
Some set in their ways not listening
Not open to change living in old pain
Getting hurt needed to get away