He cleaned up after everyone it was his job. He had seen the world, knew there was more out there. Felt like a failure for his short comings. He wasn't down but not out.

Trying to come up with a plan so that he could advance forward. He wanted his degree feared not using. The plan in his mind didn't match the outline at the college.

Years of experience did things he hated and lowered himself. He told himself never again be better. Doesn't like to argue but stuck on a side Not afraid or backing down.

Stood up for them and they don't have his back. The anger over the years trying to let it go. Instead of give into it, dk everything still open to learn and grow.

Working hard still going strong
Busting your *** over kissing it
Never be lazy that drives me crazy
Titles mean nothing do something
If your are working better to know
Than have no clue on the school
What's going on need to be in the mix
Not my crowd would rather be alone

Don't know the answers
But ready for solutions
Quick to point out the problem
That's not enough and could be tough
Hard to speak without being attacked
Tried different for having an opinion
Not much of a speaker ignored trying to explain
But will write about it to not be interrupted
Been in an awkward spot lately
From being involved to pushed out
Placed somewhere else making the most of it
Heart is not in it that's important
Mind not wanting to be there
Blocking it out upon arrival

The odd couple a younger man anxious
One leads always active the other barks orders
Working with an older gentleman
One was working hard trying to make it
While the other gentleman coasted
Both focused on the job one took it serious
The other bored set in his elderly ways
Conflict of interest the bond is lost

Broken families no where to go
A house that's not home
Grown want it one for this child
Her blue eyes hyper attitude
Can't let her down or disappoint
Need to work to make life better
Too bad it doesn't come easy
This heart beats to be more
Do better can't do it for me
Doing it for her growing up
Before these eyes in a tough world
So much rapid change can't stay calm
Can't be cozy rolling with the changes
Will protect her show her to live life
Not feel held back or limited by obstacles

One call with love
One kiss full of passion
Can change the mood
From annoyed to calm
No more calls from you
Can't get along anymore
Couldn't make it right
Grew apart all the distance
We forgot one another
Resentment for one each other
Find a new lover revive love

So much struggle with family
Wanted to be involved kept out
Now there's a welcoming moment
Not sure how to act or respond
Broken home due to alcohol
A child stuck in the middle of it all
Parents mean well not taken well
From teen to adult things
Never change over come the pain
Sober living is a lonely life

Hanging on for life
Another fight to survive
Always needing better revived
Spoke up everyone got quiet
Said nothing everybody acting the fool
Just want to make things better
And easier just need to maintain
Lost in work through the pain
Think too much missed the moment
Didn't think at all things got ruined
Working to get hired will get fired first
Bad leadership is the worse
So many bad traditions break the curse

Wide awake anxious to go
Recovery is causing delay
Emotionally charged feeling everything
On the sidelines missing out
All the hard work is being undone
Not sure how to feel seen as brave
Trying to survive make it happen
By doing the work get out there
The safe place feels like a lock down
Screams for help echos in the mind
Words won't come out of the mouth
Fight to be strong a regular struggle
Refusing to show weakness
Forgiving hoping things changed
Seems like it's worse easier to stay away

Those moments came to life; before his eyes when he began to write, he could see that place that moment that made him smile, like an out of body experience. Years had pasted but deep in his heart those moments come to life and feel so real. He was a young man early twenties when he met this young lady. They were into one another, the puppy love made his heart flutter. They use to be lovers she was the one his heart wanted. Denying her was like denying part of himself. He would not be emotionally available because he wanted her, without her. he felt eympty incomplete.
It was hard for him to date because he never took anyone serious he was stuck on her but would have to move on. She would move on get married have two kids and he would still be a hopeless romantic hoping to find love one day.

I get bored right away my mind needs to be stimulated creative thoughts or word play.
I've always tried to dhow ppl up but it feels like no one tries. It's give to who ever not to whos worthy of the position or best for it with matching qualities. I've seen many failed regina of terror. Not leading but doing enough to keep things their way instead of looking out for the interest of others.
I learn with my ears and eyes I don't like to be an example but learn from the mistakes others have made. I'm over learning the hard way failed time and time again focused on success and doing things right