Why do ppl want who they can't have
And reject the ones whom want them
human behavior amazes the eyes by others actions
Shocks the ears by the words utter by the mysterious
Most say one thing but do oppose
Or contradict themselves by saying
"I would never"
Sometimes you want to say something but it's never anyone's job but the persons to be responsible or do the right thing
Questions bubble in the mind
Why or how come that person is given more opportunity after man ***** up.
Others walk eggshells and follow rules still come up short

What we had is great we depart that was our fate
Calls everyday to barely talking
A morning text now I stare at the phone
Hoping its her the silences means its over
No more coming over
A hug for goodbye no kiss
Felt the love but it ended fast
Her rules and naive way had me gased
Moving on not waiting around
Too many false promises
We talked of marriage not going to happen
Kids of her own but not my own
She wants to lust around I wanted her for my own
To fall in love to find true emotions
World collide but not meant to be
Told myself id be great with or without you
Thank you for the confidence boost
Closure and at peace live to be free
Youre in my heart wish you the best
End of this romance time for a fresh new start

sometimes i call the play by play
or call the action before it happens
i add details to what i see
make nothing into something
clever mind with deep dark thoughts
my clear mind makes the world
seem there is more to find
be open and not hide from what you know
or doing what you know you can do
i write to you this might be a clue
whatever you do thats up to you
everyday is a new beginning
never settle for an ending
love the start enjoy the middle
keep the end goin till the day
you end up in the ground
live before you die
try before you end it
the day you die its over not like you have a say

Woke up feelin great
No room in my heart for hate
Clear the mind and write
Morning jog sounds right
Be set only cheating yourself
Don't forget today's the day make it
No more bein overlook
No more bein underestimated
It will happen  sooner than later
The wait makes it much greater
Laugh smile live best thing to give
Experience love appreciate this
One day you'll make it there

The day you find love it starts in the heart
The emotions grow and you hope the person feels the same
Open up express yourself the only regret is if you end up hurt
You flirt and talk good times are made
The 1st kiss leads to much more
Night spent to get her sharing a bed
Time together made the world much better
Time apart the world feels empty not sure where to start
Protect the heart after being hurt
Eventually you'll open up and find true love in one another
Time away sometimes feels what a waste of a day
You pray one day for that chance mess up and hope for another
If it don't happen it's not meant to be
A whole new world open your eyes and see what it has to offer

Tears of joy tears of pain it feels good to have human connection
Sometimes it means everything turns out to be nothing
The day you opened your heart it feels eymptied out
You trust in the wrong ppl secrets are told nothing worth holding onto
You fight for the lost cause seeking reason
Anxious for closure peace within hope to feel complete not accepting defeat
Your reminded of her but you want to live life to the fullest
Be able to speak without being hated or devauled
Do as you please without being limited
Socialize without others assuming the worse
Be yourself without feeling curse
Less problems more solutions new friends that want to live
Not give into the failed past carrying it around like a labeled scar reminding you of a painful time
All the broken trust restored no more shattered dream

My mind is occupied with thoughts of you
My heart skips a beat when we speak
I don't want to ***** this up
I only wnt to do right by your side
Being loyal and share the truth
I don't want to hurt or hurt you
You're always on my mind
Do you feel the same
Things keep us apart but everything feels right
I love every minute we spend together
Make the world brighter when we are together

Many alter shoes exsist in my mind
There's the rapper side who tells the truth
The ladies man who doesn't want to fall in love
The fighter who doesnt like to lose
The coAch who brings the best out in others
The writer who tells the truth with perspective
All if them unit to make me
They are the characters and roles I play
Beat together like a dumb solo
Different sides many faces
New angles more to a person more than one dimension

They calk you names you start to believe them
You throw it back in their face and have the nerve to be mad at you.
Call them on their bs and they try to justify it as right.you stay away because your better off without. They come back like theyve done you not wrong. Life is about going forward not back
They arent right trying to tell you how to act
You escape their maze of lies now they play the victim and cries for forgiveness
You wanted their love but got nothing now love is appreciated else where now they act like they care you learn the hard way life is not fair
You chase success and failures try to bring you down with them. Get in shape others hate. You know what you want they compromise you to settle for less when you should be at your best

Went out with my cousin played some pool met some new peeps. I like people not the ones that come into my job. I think people are unique everyone has a story and secrets that's for them because I don't always want to know.
I've learned to hang out sober and that I'm not meant to be the heart of the party more alcohol for those who love to drink. I like being the DD I get to drive different cars and different music everyone has their preference.
Had a great day off enjoyed my time to relax and recover from my job its not too demanding but I give it all I have to offer.  I'm thankful for my job it helps provide opportunity. If not I can do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Inspired to write staying up late tonight
Thoughts floating in the moonlight
These games you play I'll never win
Addicted I debate if I shout stay away
Talkin to you makes my day and morning
Sometimes life is boring ever since I cleaned up my act
Taking it slow don't know where things will end
I hope I'm not wasting my time
My heart wants you to be mine
Your flaws and imperfections are okay
Just want us to be happy I pray
Felt a connection make me your selection
My hurt needs protection
Taking the risk was a rush
More then a crush not a game of lust

Friday night and he feels right
I don't need to drink to fight
You think you know me
Not listenin to bs you told me
Let me be I'll do my think
Never more Will you treat my heart bad
Being around you makes me sad
I'm not mad moving on ignore you and your call
You can't replace me one of a kind
I'm one of a kind hard to find
Healed over broken fueled with hate
I plan to use that be great
Seek for closure seek much more
Glory ahead passion to make it all the bs
Can't take it till I make it

That moment you think you can't do anymore
You surprise yourself coming back for more
They mistreat you and mistaken to think the have you beat
Over worked but will not accept defeat
They put you down because they part mentally weak
You'd push back but your stronger and know better than to lower yourself sink to their level
Fall into their traps playing their games
You let them win by giving in
Standing tall you let them talk
they don't know what they are talking about
Turn away no need to stay meant for better not settling for worse
They can't hurt you but they go after those that don't know any better

For hating me you seem to talk about me a lot
I don't care  what you do or giving you a second thought
Passed you up now your mad well thats too bad
Deep down you cleanse your soul be better put it all into perspective
Its okay to be selective you walk tall don't let them  bring you down with them
Recover and survive live life enjoy all you set out to accomplish

You claim to love me why are you leaving
I may not be the one why is there someone else
You hurt me with lies my heart hurts and cries out
Who can I trust when all we had was a lust
You moved on I stay away when I start over you try to comeback and stay
Hou put me in a pickle I just want to be safe
Mess with my mind want what was instead of realizing what's going on now
You go with someone who has money been through so much all I can do is appreciate life
Moving on to better not expecting you to comeback if I said I love you you'll never feel the way I do turns out you were never true

Up late writing another chapter
Another story where I write the outcome
Share and express bottled up emotions
Creating from life sharing my ideas
Always thinking what to write or say
Happy for my podcast makes my day
On the mats release some ruthless aggression
With my friends it's like my family
Use to being rejected going where I belong
Hated for the truth but always being myself
All hate and disrespect I can do without

Rocking and ready to rumble
Moving forward trying to stay humble
Laugh hard hard enjoy life
Smile always don't have time to hate life
It might **** but not afraid to live it up
Back from the dead my soul feels alive
Doing all the things that made me happy
Gave it up but taking it back up
Haven't been the same keep getting better
My clear of bs not letting others fill it with doubt
I'm ******* myself I could do without others
Judging pointing there fingers
saying I'm doing wrong when they aren't right
Standing tall back in the fight not staying out
Push me be prepared to be pushed back
Now you're stopped lets see how you like being told how to act
No reaction but your going to overreact stand tall or stand back

I don't always say everything but I write everything. I'm glad to have a voice I'd like to speak up more but it helps my creative juices for my writing. I think of how I feel and what I'm thinking at the moment.
I always question my thoughts and feeling sometimes I say stuff I don't agree with but I feel it needed to be said that's where my mouth gets me in trouble. I always feel I need to got out of my way to prove myself but I need to do it for me and it has to be meaningful.
I got told I should get a girlfriend it's not going to set me straight or change things. I'd like to find love I had it once but it was a messy ending. It taught me to appreciate life. I never relied on anyone or expect much from anyone.
I like to write it gives my feelings and emotions feeling meaning that makes sense to me. My observations make great stories to tell my friends and the ppl who are willing to listen.

I don't bother with your lies
You could ask instead of manipulate
I don't need anything from you
Not bothering with your troubles
I needed you no where to be found
You call me when you need something
Half the tome you do nothing
But always caught up on something
I don't want to bother you
Everything is fine issues come from your way
Free of stress I can't complain
Not dealin with you sweet deal without you

Listen to your heart
Pursue your career
Believe and trust your heart
Fix yourself do what's right
Live it do it
don't let anyone keep you Down
Keep a smile on your face keep good spirit
Stay involved don't get shutout
No time to live in doubt
Never give up let it bleed out
Find your way purse the right direction

Night alone my mind starts to roam
Leave me alone I'm not answering my phone
Writing gets me in the zone
I say what I think in words
Don't care for confrontation get out of my face
Talk about me behind my face you disgrace
Pain in my heart the mean things provoked to say
You made me go there that's not fair
You don't care how I feel mean mugging cold stare
My fun ruined I can't complain waste of my time
I'm not who you make me out to be
I break free stand up to your terror mentalist
Rebel in protest you can't judge me
Your dead to me get out of my head

I quick drinking for a friend others give me ****
I use to lust around now others take pride in it
Just seeing who I use to be *****
Trust me I love achol and meaningless ***
But all you do is drink for empowerment
*** is fun but meaningless
Ive been trying to get to know a person but its easier to have ***
Ive been rejected another reason to drink but im better than that
Ive seen my mistake others are about to repeat ive warned them but they chose to live and learn.
Lots of people **** me off friends get mad at me over a girl that was never theirs
Telling me not to do what I like
I dont care for drugs my brother was killed over them my parent were drug addicts
I want normal but things seem more ******

I think about all the girls who rejected me
Lead me on made me feel good and took it away from me
Said on thing but did another
Made me feel like like I wasnt good enough
Because they were insecure or being shady behind my back
Picking a fight with me projecting their wrong on on me
Ignored me when I tried to make it right
That told me I wouldnt amount to anything
Used me and pushed me aside
So many days pass I just want to forget
Let go but I use that as motivation
One day prove them wrong show them im better its their loss.
All I wanted was to get along
Now its time to be my best and move on

Ready for bed
My bed calls me
So I can rest my head
All the stuff that was said
Block it out stay calm
Don't turn red lose your head
Find peace in bed
Sleep it away
Don't for get to pray
Good night and good day

Looking a photots wondering what went wrong
I stood my grown I was me but they moved on
I wonder what made them stop loving me
Thinking of how I could've hot them back
Instead let them walk away no communication
I took their dishonest word and got replaced
Asking why but they have no reason
Changed and gorgotten like the seasons
The heart feared to love but once the love was given broken into pieces with lies and false promises
Her time was a waste of mine
My time was wasnt worthy of hers
Loving her was a big regret
Her wicked ways convinced to stay
Can't believe what they say
But their beauty manipulated you everyday

Wished me away
Guess what I'm here to stay
You'll never change me
You can embrace me and hate
Knocked down but bouncing back up
Head held high you say I'm stuck up
Judge me but you'll never destroy
My charm my Wittiness
Left town came back
Rejuevenated pure turn to the heart
Stay true that's a start
Take on the world make it your own
Get in the zone in the mind your grown

They inspire me to draw
Like most I wish
I could be super natural
Seen as a hero
Not have an alter ego
Most want two lives
I could barely live one
Live by a code
Help those in need
Get the girl
Instead of living private
Protecting all not losin faith in humanity
Give until you have nothing to offer
Not taking because a peaceful life
The hear saves the day
Doing good makes his day

Been writing stories for my friends sharing my experiences. I'm not one who catches feelings right away. I like to watch comedies I've made all my hurtful moments into a comedy.
I've been good writing consistantly getting my ideas out when I could post them.
I use to be an angry writer attacking others I saw them in front of me and wrote things I wish I could say.
Writing has helped me grow and cope see things from a different angle.
I dare to inspire encourage others to be more and not settle for less. I'm trying to move up and grow being a trail blazer making my own path is hard but its what I want for myself.

I dont know why I feel the way I do
Told myself one day I'll be great
Don't know how to get there but know what it takes
Been to ******* myself no one seems to care
I do my best to be loyal and fairs
Emotionless I stare off in the distance
As far and long as it takes to achieve greatness
I think highly of myself barely getting by
Id cry but tears flow make want to get away do better
I'm simple but this are complicated when I thought it would be easy

Told to be someone else
All I wanted was to be me
Did a job and ******* over with my pay
Never advancing any way
She claimed to love
but there was someone else
Promising words not honored
Full of broken promises
Do this do that but it went no where
Should've done it or could've done it
Of course it didn't get done
Fake friends bad mouthing
Call them on it they deny and lie
Tired of all the short comings
Short end of the stick
Practiced and worked hard
pulled from the project
Given to the wrong person
Instead of who deserved it the most

Working the night shift mind on over drive
Work hard to survive thinking what to write up most of the night.
Thinking what to say the next time we see one another.
I hope I'm the one not just some other fling.
I like when you share everything on your mind
happy to hear what you say
You smile makes my day
I get excited when you say hey

We all have that person who admire from a distance
The fear of getting to know them because you think highly of them
what if those feelings fade or not what you made the person out to be the fear of disappointment
Or what if you can't live up to those needs and those desires
Saying hi makes your day, making eye contact feeling those vibes
Nervous not sure what to say but look forward to the social interaction
Know in an environment but outside of that world be interesting
The fear of rejection but being accepted and mixed emotions hard to set straight.

I do my best to mention names I sometimes think I could embarrass them but they manage to do it on their own! I'm not divorced or a gold digger now I see why your divorce asking why hasn't this happened sooner
You married a many to claim his possessions and you want to look down on others
There's so many ppl with ******* up stories they make you look bad to hide there shame
I could expose you and tell you what you know but I don't feel like lowering myself
You could bully me but your words will come back to kick you in the ***
I'm not fighting with old ppl who should know better but don't I know better and make up for the lack of respect others have

I said I love you
so it must be true
I accept you
but your alway changing me
You claim to love me
And want to share me
But I refuse to share you
Only of you knew how your moods
Ruin my day everything you say
I'd rather get away than stay mad
I'd fix and help anyway I can
I can't change you imperfections or flaws
I accept you no need to change
I wish you'd accept me
Let me be the one who you once loved
Not some emotionless being you feel
Is not worthy of you and your love

It's easy to quit but hard to start
You could do anything
when you have heart
A giant feels equal in size
Speaking the truth is a prize
Most obstacles bevome conquered
Fear is a limitation
dominate with strength
Have the honor to better yourself
The courage to make it happen
Stand up for a reason full of purpose
Define yourself find truth within
once you've discovered how to redefined
Utter the truth speak words rich of knowledge

Losing that edge but pursing something better
Feels more natural then a fight
For once I could say things are going right
Ablr to smile not feel guilty because others have it worse
Laughed because the humor hit the heart
Expressed myself without doubt
Things have changed not giving up on what I've started
There's always a way do what makes you happy
Find a way get Involved with the right people
That like mindedness more of a strength
Never give into weakness be more not settling for less

Not an ordinary face got back in the crowd
Not making a scene or backing down
Introduced to new faces new ppl different routine
Would like to give it my all but the time will come
Don't run or be scared good things come to those who wait
It doesn't happen over night but when it does things will be great
A good day to meet new everyday hope the good comes my way
Overwhelmed things have changed its a blessing
I wanted it not its happening can't do everything at once but will fall into place

Had dinner with my family
Today I celebrated my birthday
Aged today and things are looking up
Got hired new job thankful
New music to hear stimulate the ears
An exciting movie to watch lights up mind
Writing in a new notebook
A clean look new haircut
Chance and opportunity came my way
Thankful for today and everyday
Clean mind straight edge avoid alcohol
Kourpt ppl I escaped on my way

i dont always have the courage for myself
but i find it when it comes to those who walk in fear
i may not be tall or strong but i know
how to stand up for whats right
you make want to do right by your side
when i stand up everyone bails and trues to hide
you make the rules you break the rules
they dont matter as long as you stay true to yourself and heart

Starting over is hard but needs to be done im not big on resolutions but new years is around the corner. Ive been goo this year things can and will get better.
Work keeps me going I keep rush to I can get ahead making up for lost time. Im giving my all for ppl who dont appreciate my effort. It feels like a relationship but I get paid.
Not sure how to handle things some ppls attitude and behaviors are beyond me. I could only listen and image. Everyone has their own stories and experiences only they truely understand the best thing I can do is relate or try to understand

Woke up listening to the blues
The weather gray not feeling blue
Sleep the ways away live the night away
Write so much the sun doesn't seem do bright
Not more sad endings pretending they could be altered accepting things not meant to be
Only if they could see or understand
Music is that happy place brings a smile to the face
Rude ppl go away stay far back
Supportive and loving welcomed to my life
Changed time and time again to later feel the same
No more bad memories that remain failed dream brought back to life
Goals and standards set on your own no ones influence live somewhere call it home
Not into the bad all your negativity makes me sad
No one is bad they just make bad choices
Listening to all the wrong voices that cause chaos
Find your way discover yourself no more walking around lost

Burnt out in the mind seeking new
Empty inside want to be restored feel brand new
Things are right should lead to better
Sacrifice and scars that never heal
Pain that knows no limit or holds back
Friendships that betrayal has ended
Live for new but th old is not pretend
Letting go moving forward
Living for the moment
Time wasted lost hours
Memories of the fallen past
Escape the nightmare only to return
Like hot fire feel the burn

Sometimes I'm too trusting all the people I see good in prove me wrong but that's on them. Its disappointing when someone you think highly of doesn't value or care what you think or feel.
I've been knocked down bouncing back keeping a positive head on my shoulders. Sometimes it feels like what I think don't matter I mean well but others think I have a twisted agenda. I shouldn't worry or care what others think but I'm the one recieivng all the heat and hurt.
I've distanced myself from certain people praying hoping this will get better not losing faith. Focused on my goals and future no one can give or provide that for me but myself.

I set out to find love with the right person
I  stayed single because I didn't want to get hurt
Been down found self respect not giving it up
Standing tall hoping the right people come around and stay
Never wanted to get my hopes up so I stopped caring
The reality is it meant everything
For years I was bullied and looked down on for not having a job
Found I can't rely on anyone if I wanted or needed I go do it myself
I got back into the dating world my heart took a beating
Gave her me that's all I can be
Went all in with no regrets or escape route
I give it to god believe something better will come out of the struggle
If not I'm meant for better not settling for less

Thinking about life on my lunch
Hunger for adventure one day at a time
One day my time will come and shine
Focused on my task everyday working hard busting mine
In the end all will be fine
Only a matter of time
Not the same memories remain
Heal the broken no more pain
Hard to be normal use to insanity
Lost in a dream blurry reality

Got to watch your favorite team
Wear team colors cheer
Watch your favorite player
Team jersey wear it loud and proud
Nose bleeds good seat
Cheers have a few beers
Hats with team logos
The whole family goes
Good times bonding
Team wins make it better
Team loss has you saying next time
Always a fan alway tuned in
On tv or the radio better when you arrive in person
Show team spurt the great past time worth the time

All I have is writing and pro wrestling I've watched since I was a child. I watch it till this day. Others deny it but I stand tall. I never tried to do it because I'm too short and don't like to fall on the ground. I've always wanted to be the champ win the title represent the company.
On my mind is being the best achieving greatness. I see myself as the face but others will oppose me making me the heel they love to hate and boo.
I don't want to win the title and carry it around I'd be a defending champ.
I love the sport and would like to grow within or make it better make others comeback and want more out of the product. Too many times others burn out fur to short attention spans.

I think I'm not going to participate in family gatherings I always feel left out or excluded. My aunts take cheap shots you think they'd know better. My cousins bad attitude but they always play the victim. I'm done feeling bad for them especially since they show me no sympathy or remorse. I don't need to feel bad or act like everything is fine but the reality is they **** me off and I want to cuss them off half the time. They aren't any good to me if I can't be myself or enjoy the occasion.
I'm ready to just say forget everyone move on to what's taters and will take me places. My future will be better if I stop fixing the broken because they end up breaking me.