Hard to trust
Dating girls who cheated on her man
Claimed it was over then went back
No shame or self respect
Never asked went with the flow
Friends who move onto your girl
Then have the nerve
To be sad they got rejected
Or try to move in on your crush
So much disrespect frustration
Called them out on it
Told them to their face
Now they are mad playing victim
Broken trust bitter taste of betrayal
Failed friendship gave up on them
Cut the cord no more toxic people
So much shame all their petty acts

Not into feeding egos
Struggling with confidence
Hard to trust anyone
Confine in others broken trust
Looking for a true friend
Haven't been connected for a while
The single life can be lonely
Living it to the fullest
Haven't found the right person
Like a turtle in a shell
A safety space the comfort zone
Giving it all not the best
Doing what's best
What needs to be done
Trying to find it within
Confidence to be better
Strive towards excellence
Letting the heart grow
The words flow from within
A quiet mouth with a loud mind

Got clean but they won't let you forget
Said sorry and changed behavior
Faded away disappeared
Like I can't do anything
Moving on with life with no regret
Accused not talking this verbal abuse
Sober living meant giving up on an old life
Stopped partying and working hard
Probably get fired before getting a promotion
Did so much good but the bad shadows
Feel like this is a life sentence
Can't escape all the hate
From those who remain the same
Remind me I made mistakes
Bring up old pain bad meomeries remain
Staying positive in a room full of haters
Working hard to change my struggle
From poor to getting by
Want to make it happen
Scared it hasn't happened yet
The world goes slow feel the anxiety grow
One day at a time take it slow
Tired of walking away following the rules
Too many cheaters rewarded for bad deeds
Mind my mouth showing respect
Thoughts are compressed inside
Ready to explode come out with a wrath

Coming to terms
Not that person
About that life anymore
Wasn't meant to be
There's no going back
Gone much further
In other places
Started over found new
Developed new skills
Life experiences with gains
Lessons learned gathered
full of encounters social interaction
Open to grow observation and listen

In his dream she loved him
He got the job in that world
Working hard it all pays out
Another life without doubt
Became all he set out to become
Done it one way failed
Trying another way
Can't make mistakes
So many details and detours
Road blocks in the way
Starting over once again

Always around the rejects
People who have potential
Never given a chance
Potential no opportunity
Some make bad decisions
Not given many options
Making the most of it all
Waiting for that call
Tried to make it happen
Judged by people
Who never even tried

Cant do this alone against the odds
This walk is harder without faith
Emptiness needs prayer to heal
Never said a word seen as stuck up
Spoke some truth got the 3rd degree
No one listens to understand
The response is tell and demand
Wanted to argue back held back
Person is stubborn set in their ways
Such a waste of time why even bother
Not empowering negativity anymore
Keep the distances over being denied
Held to a different standard
For not conforming or giving in by
Lowering self respect to be accepted

Darkside of it all feel normal
Once things lighten up
Always wanted to fit in
But kept out looking in
Started ignoring all the hype
Focused on what mattered
Worked harder than most
Wanted it more than others
Been going strong all heart
All in or nothing stay inspired
The cream rises to the top
Said it couldn't be done
Been doing it for years
Went against the haters
Thankful for all the support

He was scared of success
He did love his family
Why would he be the one
Taking care of everyone
If he made it to the next level
If he made they'd love him
If he failed they'd look down on him
In the end he was never seen the same
He rebelled drifted off his course
Always held to a different standard
From the rest he gave it was never enough
They expected more
He always felt like a failure
They were quick punk
And push him around
Talking big but didn't do anything

Not mad anymore
Thought about it
All angles perspectives
Took it apart analyzed it
Observed detail put it back together
Cleaned out the gunk a clear mind
Hoping it run better than before
Sometimes parts need to be replaced
Took the bad out focused on the good
New pieces new beginnings starting over

We use to be close
Now it's over never started
No one knew about us any type of connection
A friendship that turned into a fling
A great friend of yours had a deep conversation
She asked how far did it go between you two
It went all the way he responded
Why would you ask such a question
This friend said nothing happened
He was shocked that he was denied
So proud so in love to be denied
The rejection hit deep in the heart

Go so far over time
No turning or looking back
Can't stay stuck in the same place
Rose up can't go back down
Highs and lows use to them lows
Starving for those highs
Won't stay down still pressing
After being knocked over
Never too late will find a way
Made it there sent away
Hard to get close or attached
Bounced around been everywhere
Sent to another location

Confronting the things
That cause pain
Analyzed the hurt
Putting all out
Too much over thinking
Letting it go inked out of the system
It all comes out on the pad
Dried tears empowered by faith
Overcame fears found hope
Sobered up thinking clear
Locked in a room healing up
Safe to come back so much change
Everyone gone went away

Been a tough couple of days
If healing the world was a power
Praying for the safety of others
People make it home with out fear
I'm sorry for the loss that justice is served
Years of injustice coming out
That love conquers all the light shines
Exposing the wicked those wrong doers
That good wins over evil staying positive
From tv to the neighborhood so close

Things feel ruined
Can't say a word
A joke taken as an insult
Suppose to cause laughter
Make someone smile
Brighten a dark day with light
Lies are believe
Worse of all accepted
While truth is questioned
Honesty is rejected and denied

Anti establishment from day one
Wanting to belong always kept out
In denial about being accepted
Some days feel okay but a struggle
While others are off the hinge
Not sure where to begin deep in thought
Part of the unit usually dealing with conflict
Both in the wrong opposing one another
Head strong about being right

Was never normal
Will things ever be normal again
Whatever that means
Go without a mask
Be able to be in a large group
See friends with out fear
Be around family without
Thinking police will break up a gathering
Be able to attend a sporting event
Enjoy an amusement park on a hot day
Eat in a restaurant get out of the house
Thankful for this home
Anxiety from being inside
Before it would occur every so often
Being out in the work routine
Been reading to past time
Praying for everything to be okay
Writing to stay sane maintain the craft
These thoughts like wild river rafting
One helluva ride all in one mind
Laying in bed hoping to sleep
Wide awake hoping to get some shut eye
Money was flowing now it's slowing
Waiting for the day to be able to go back

Not one to share feelings
Give an opinion respectfully
Share some thoughts
Hate how opinions are used against
Looked at differently for an opinion
Treated like an enemy for disagreeing
Respectful of opinions
Different points of view
New perspective ways to observe
Open to learn mostly understand

Feeling podcasting again
Wish the little things
Brought joy
Always obsessed with work
Being responsible
No life outside of that
Been laughing at random stuff
Smiling sharing a funny story
Telling another angle of the event
Talking about the moment

Can't be mad things happen
Not one to blame others
Always trying to make it work
Said nothing still tension
Spoke up judging eyes
Silently watching
Always try to be fair
Treating others right
Wish it was easy to not care
Heartache and heart pain
Back to the drawing board
To make a new plan

Wide awake should be sleeping
A train in the distance echoing horn
The fresh night air cold and fresh
A clear mind from writing
Calm night could hear cars
On the freeway in the distance
Lay in bed talking to her
Pretending shes here
Talking to God and praying
Things aren't bad could be better
Never been about money
Thankful to be working
Through these tough times
Focused on blessing
Learned the life lessons
Loving with a broken heart
Loving others like I'd like to be loved

Everyone tells their stories
Full of lies and it's embrace
Told the truth everyone's mad
Making excuses to justify
Their wrong doing
The frustration of others full of rage
Stayed calm collected composed
Tired of corruption scandals
Getting the worst of it
Turning a blind eye
All of the battle struggle didnt matter
Changing the rules
Moving the boundary lines
Walked away not empowering
Kept a distance not trust or respect
So much tension resistance

There's no secret just keep working
Work for it nothing is given
Don't care to prove anymore
Set up to fail trying to make it
Mind needs peace not influenced
by others pretending to be somebody
Didn't know about lofti beats
Started to feel them within
Able to show emotions set a time
Grown up living it up daily
Still haven't made it so close
Yet it feels so far away to touch
Hard to walk away always determined
Took a different path
Didn't expect to get there
Right away or follow the norm
The ideal standards of others
Working with what's given
Thankful for the blessings
Earned it putting in time
Working to make it happen

Talking about it all
Tapping into the darkness
So the light could heal
How did this happen?
When did this start?
Like you can pin point
Where it went wrong
Life if you can go back
Prevent it from happening
All you can do it pick up
Where you are at
Move forward learn the lesson

Buried it to be free of it all
Dug it up couldn't live without it
Starting to decompose
Not there anymore
Time is flying years are passing
Told be this way already done that
Do this do that been doing it
From being a trainee
To mentoring others
Learn everything be wiser
Pass it to the next generation
Growth happens overtime time
Let your light shine stop hiding

A visionary mindset
Heart doesn't always agree
Got to put in work
Make it happen finish strong
Nothing is free or given
Every page filled clear mind
Time spent on the mats rolling
Open books reading those pages

Doing all the grunt work
This ***** does the bare minimum
Talking but not doing ****
Still working harder than you
Even if I quit been great else where
I've done it elsewhere in this district
Forget your disrespectful talk
Don't call me a snitch you two faced
Working to get paid invest in writing
Not playing runner should be nect
Come to work work extra hard
Be my own boss never settle for less
Being obsessed with getting hired
Thankful for the advice growing
Don't need a lecture that's your plan
Not mine all playing out in this mind
Spoke up no one listened or cared
Not interested in sharing anymore
All of a sudden into my opinion
Years of change through the struggle
Rise above it all chaos be better

In the mirror
Dressing for this date
Be on time don't be late
Trying to make a good impression
Bought a dress shirt baby blue
She was always on his mind
He was falling hard for her
Hoping this might work
Instead of expecting the worse
They dated and things went well
Once the label was tagged
It got complicated more difficult
From talking to silent
Kissing and passion touch
Eventually no feelings or emotions

No one at peace
An aunt that might die
Lots of bad habits
Decisions made over time
Love everyone flaw and all
Praying for things to be fine
Lots of stuff said
Bubbling up in the back of the head
Wanting to make the wrong right
Giving up so much to be forgiven
Grew up poor always driven
Earn it nothing is given
Staying loyal even when betrayed
Told to be down stood my ground
Don't associate with snitching
Two faced people no ones listening
Got to go it myself
No one is going to do it for me
But me learned to be alone and pray

How you don't talk to so and so
We aren't friends departed
Talking behind my back being two faced
Respect you more if you said it straight up
You do your thing doing mine
Doing my own thing
Never been about material possessions
But live life to the fullest
Both have our own plans
Our own life praying for you
Just because we don't talk
We don't see eye to eye

Tired of seeing others bad behavior
Treating one another ugly
Trying to justify the wrong doing
Be ready for the consequences
Some people talk and dk the story
Be informed before speaking
Not always going to happen right away
While others struggle to maintain

Work hasn't been great
Been thankful to be working
Around a guy who calls shots
Doesn't do his job all the way
But expects me to finish
Always focused on work
How to get it done be better
Pulling the weight of others
Don't want to do it anymore
Tired of being a stepping stone
Respect and mindful with this mouth
Not one to cuss or make a scene
Over BS titles all talk with no pull
Talking like they are interested
Just wasting time with an ear full
Still believe hard work will pay
They should go with the hardest worker
It's an insult when they hire
That is lazy not one to brown nose
Or kiss *** to move up
Sad that people do that
Showed interest got denied
Didn't care or want it anymore
All of a sudden being told
It could be an opportunity
Over all the lies all the detours
Don't know where this journey is going
Or where things will end up
Sometimes walking away feels right
But this gut feeling
Is not willing to accept it

He thought what to say in his mind
When he attempted to speak
Nothing came out his voice went mute
His thoughts got the best of him
Never played out accordingly
The plan never unfolded pleasantly
The sequence was lost in transition
He was the good guy that got hurt
Made out to be the bad guy
Due to his moral code
He wore his heart on his sleeve
He knew his worth in the world
While others with twisted views
Perceived differently by others
Multiple false accusations