College was a new experience
New people from all over the state
New about social groups and social circles
Eventually it would become about life styles
Not use to certain ways of life
Always been accept and respectful
Till others impose it feels like a struggle
Stuck in a conflict that has nothing to do with
So many new labels and boxes to fit into
Didn't care for any of it tried to get an education
Moving into the dorms around the stoners
Wasn't about it but it was more accepted
Drinking on the weekend was a thing
Binge drinking for a week who knew
So much had changed with age
Reading books to write papers
Sometimes it made sense
Other times what the hell was going on
Sharing a room with a roommate
Some were great others a walking disaster
Nice to sleep in a bed without siblings
So much change but missing family
Dating was another new voyage

Was never normal
Will things ever be normal again
Whatever that means
Go without a mask
Be able to be in a large group
See friends with out fear
Be around family without
Thinking police will break up a gathering
Be able to attend a sporting event
Enjoy an amusement park on a hot day
Eat in a restaurant get out of the house
Thankful for this home
Anxiety from being inside
Before it would occur every so often
Being out in the work routine
Been reading to past time
Praying for everything to be okay
Writing to stay sane maintain the craft
These thoughts like wild river rafting
One helluva ride all in one mind
Laying in bed hoping to sleep
Wide awake hoping to get some shut eye
Money was flowing now it's slowing
Waiting for the day to be able to go back

Hard to find love
Energies don't always match
Love is never equal one sided
One gives unconditionally
There through the tough times
The other with terms and conditions
When it suits personal gains
So much energy positive vibes
The other negative draining life
Trying not giving up to make it work
While the other ready to leave
Making alternative plans to cheat
One fully committed to the relationship
Taking the burdens love shouldn't hurt
One day find someone true to match
Long term journey over a short term

Sad to be around my cousins kids
The kids want attention and ignored
They like when you spend time with them
Doesn't take much to be involved
Everyone is different
With their styles and approach
Always wondered what if and why
Some have kids but not responsible
Trying to be the person
Needed when being young

She was light skinned
Long brown curly hair
The way she stares
That look in her eyes
Feeling unworthy of her
Trying to hard lost in thought
Holding back messing up
Feels like she's slipping away
But things have yet to happen
Once they do not sure what's next
Short term relationship
Life time burdens on the heart

Not able to speak always thinking
Mind racing causing a stutter
Feeling frustrated didn't know
How or why this was happening
Compared to others never the same
Told how to act another scolding
A child with a huge sensitive heart
Use to be the funny one wearing a smile
Everyone made it personal
Jokes that were made to laugh
Then the insults came causing pain
Had to have thick skin because of family
Couldn't show feelings or emotions
Seen as weak for caring about others
Transitions are hard from being one way
Then learning you don't have to do it anymore
Growing up being an individual from the rest
Not empowering things that are weak
Being strong to be set free took control
Learned to say no not a yes man
Not what others said or those made up lies
Away from dead weight living a life flying
From those who are not worthy of your time

Always saying let it go
But some stuff won't come out
Like it will cause contraversy
That what it felt like at the moment
What I went through at that time
How is a person going to say it's a lie
Tell you how to feel after mistreating
How to think trying to influence others
Because the wrong doing got exposed
Can't win alone forming alliances
Took them on and still not backing down
Always stayed loyal true even lost for them
Made moves made it happen with or without

Feels right in one place
Been doing it for so long
Starting over somewhere new
Working from the bottom to the top
Always respectful to those there
And willing to learn from those
Who started it all learn and keep building
Not there to take over or be territorial
Make an effort to contribute

Distracted by others hurt
Taken away from it all
Tried to help rise with others
Too much wallowing
Settled for less bad habits
Stuck in a pity party
Saw more ahead stuck waiting
Wanted to take them too
Got stuck trying to understand
Wasn't your pain to take in
Gained more than the person
Who not to be or be like
Sad how it hit rock bottom
Never been through a break up
Transition phase not a shake up
Always been loyal to others
Not bothered by cheaters

Never looked at it before
Feel it coming together
So much change over time
Sober living not giving it up
Cut out toxic people no more hate
So much negativity had to get away
Feeling more motivated
Choices without others influence
Been down but not out overtime
Plotting and planning moves
Need to put them into effect

He walked into a the building ready to give his all. He worked like a boss but didn't get paid like one. He did all the work and took charge. Along with a useless head custodian nothing more than just a title.
He always went the extra mile above and beyond. Years of bouncing around trying to find a location somewhere to fit in. He didn't match or belong anywhere
He worked hard stayed positive, while the rest settled gave up losing motivation.

Family has changed
Over the years
From the regulars to more
New nephews and nieces
Kids are a blessing
Helping some grow up
Do what's right
Teach them to be better
Always praying for everyone
Some are worse off
While others are well
Opportunity to be made
Some seek it take the day
While others let it pass them up
Set in their ways hoping they'd change
Accepting that's who they are
Love them regardless of the outcome
Everyone had choices
Made their decisions
Warned them looked out
Some like to learn the hard
And some never learn
Sad how some turn out
Most struggle and other rise
Escape their situation

Can't get close to anyone
Will get abandoned
Can't trust or rely on anyone
Always doing as much possible
Left doing it all and easily annoyed
Trying to make it through the day
Through the shift dealing with people
Not my crowd feels like no allow to say
Or do anything have an opinion just work
Fighting hard going strong things are bad
So many things going wrong
Flirting with all this frustration
Trying to understand
Don't expect anything from others
Demanding too much from myself

A visionary mindset
Heart doesn't always agree
Got to put in work
Make it happen finish strong
Nothing is free or given
Every page filled clear mind
Time spent on the mats rolling
Open books reading those pages

Always starting over
New job location
Multiple faces names to learn
Work hard new lazy people
Hearing complains over time
Nothing done about it
Working to get paid
Enough to pay bills
Able to afford hobbies
Missing the old faces
Old location learned so much
Sent away adapt adjust trust
Have faith things will be okay
Can't be sad moving on
Not mad had no say or control
Moving onto new onto better

Been a tough couple of days
If healing the world was a power
Praying for the safety of others
People make it home with out fear
I'm sorry for the loss that justice is served
Years of injustice coming out
That love conquers all the light shines
Exposing the wicked those wrong doers
That good wins over evil staying positive
From tv to the neighborhood so close

Why can't this be true
Always evil and cruel
Tried to show one another up
Competing with one another
We should be a team
Getting the best of each other
Another love story ends sadly
Treat each other badly
Should grow together united
Now bitter divided
Wanting different things
Had other plans with someone else

Flowing on the beat
Feeling the vibe alive
Chilling alone with music
Coming up with lyrics
Might say something deep
From the heart of truth
Honesty seen as ruthless
Wisdom with age over time
Always changing it up to improve
Working for the moment
One line at a time to empower
Motivated by faith and grace
Won't be taken down by hate

Writing for years
Wiping those tears
Telling the truth
Seen as wild and ruthless
Not about gold seen as cold
The struggle within
Trying to get out of this mindset
Open to change turn the page
Growing out of bed habits
Not falling back into them
Focused on being better
Over come some pain
Strive to be better
Living life to the fullest
Tomorrow is not promised

Confronting the things
That cause pain
Analyzed the hurt
Putting all out
Too much over thinking
Letting it go inked out of the system
It all comes out on the pad
Dried tears empowered by faith
Overcame fears found hope
Sobered up thinking clear
Locked in a room healing up
Safe to come back so much change
Everyone gone went away

Always the shoulder to cry on
Can't talk share feelings
Show emotions always strong
Keeping it together for others
Vent not comparing sad stories
Crumbling inside staying composed
Trying to keep it together
Wanting to scream it won't come out
Heart beating in the back of the throat
Never wanted anywhere
Finally feel apart of something
Feels like it will be taken away
Can't win always disappoint someone
Put in an awkward situation
Name being spoken for opportunity
Usually slandered or bad mouthed
Something different and new

Buried it to be free of it all
Dug it up couldn't live without it
Starting to decompose
Not there anymore
Time is flying years are passing
Told be this way already done that
Do this do that been doing it
From being a trainee
To mentoring others
Learn everything be wiser
Pass it to the next generation
Growth happens overtime time
Let your light shine stop hiding

Work hasn't been great
Been thankful to be working
Around a guy who calls shots
Doesn't do his job all the way
But expects me to finish
Always focused on work
How to get it done be better
Pulling the weight of others
Don't want to do it anymore
Tired of being a stepping stone
Respect and mindful with this mouth
Not one to cuss or make a scene
Over BS titles all talk with no pull
Talking like they are interested
Just wasting time with an ear full
Still believe hard work will pay
They should go with the hardest worker
It's an insult when they hire
That is lazy not one to brown nose
Or kiss *** to move up
Sad that people do that
Showed interest got denied
Didn't care or want it anymore
All of a sudden being told
It could be an opportunity
Over all the lies all the detours
Don't know where this journey is going
Or where things will end up
Sometimes walking away feels right
But this gut feeling
Is not willing to accept it

Not trying argue
Stop trying to dictate
Quit comparing with others
Be thankful for what you got
All that negative talk
Stop being toxic live life
Sending out bad vibes
Knocking everyone for their choices
It's their life be happy for them
Work on yours be better
Love yourself be positive

A heavy heart
Choices to be made
Wanting one life
Had to give up the current
The fork in the road
Single wanting a partner
So much sacrifice another wrong
Compromised for the wrong people
More loss than gain

Don't assume just ask
Different times from the past
Mind racing so fast
Staring out in the distance
So much resistance
Seen some crazy stuff
Too much to process
Made tough had it rough
Bounce back not overreact
Another road block in the way
Detour taking longer to get there
All in everyone flakes left alone

Learning to lighten up
Not take life so serious
But live and enjoy each day
Take in the moment
Appreciate what's going on all around
Thankful for each day
Taking in the silence
Releasing the tension within
Everything will be okay

No one at peace
An aunt that might die
Lots of bad habits
Decisions made over time
Love everyone flaw and all
Praying for things to be fine
Lots of stuff said
Bubbling up in the back of the head
Wanting to make the wrong right
Giving up so much to be forgiven
Grew up poor always driven
Earn it nothing is given
Staying loyal even when betrayed
Told to be down stood my ground
Don't associate with snitching
Two faced people no ones listening
Got to go it myself
No one is going to do it for me
But me learned to be alone and pray

Always seen as crazy
For having a dream
Doing things wanted it more
Took risk only one trying
Never been done before
The bar wasn't set that high
Family in an out of prison
Went to college the first to pursue it
Had a wild life over the years
Learned to be an adult
The transition is hard
Hard to learn one way or another

Hard to trust
Dating girls who cheated on her man
Claimed it was over then went back
No shame or self respect
Never asked went with the flow
Friends who move onto your girl
Then have the nerve
To be sad they got rejected
Or try to move in on your crush
So much disrespect frustration
Called them out on it
Told them to their face
Now they are mad playing victim
Broken trust bitter taste of betrayal
Failed friendship gave up on them
Cut the cord no more toxic people
So much shame all their petty acts

Don't want to feel this way
Meant well seen as wrong
Stayed open to be closed out
Listened to others vent sad stories
Shared funny stories to be fun
Now being ignored use to being denied
So close never happened
Went down according to the plan
Need to come up with a new way
The old way failed so much sacrifice

Things feel ruined
Can't say a word
A joke taken as an insult
Suppose to cause laughter
Make someone smile
Brighten a dark day with light
Lies are believe
Worse of all accepted
While truth is questioned
Honesty is rejected and denied

Not into feeding egos
Struggling with confidence
Hard to trust anyone
Confine in others broken trust
Looking for a true friend
Haven't been connected for a while
The single life can be lonely
Living it to the fullest
Haven't found the right person
Like a turtle in a shell
A safety space the comfort zone
Giving it all not the best
Doing what's best
What needs to be done
Trying to find it within
Confidence to be better
Strive towards excellence
Letting the heart grow
The words flow from within
A quiet mouth with a loud mind

Wide awake should be sleeping
A train in the distance echoing horn
The fresh night air cold and fresh
A clear mind from writing
Calm night could hear cars
On the freeway in the distance
Lay in bed talking to her
Pretending shes here
Talking to God and praying
Things aren't bad could be better
Never been about money
Thankful to be working
Through these tough times
Focused on blessing
Learned the life lessons
Loving with a broken heart
Loving others like I'd like to be loved

Trying to find that joy
A toy from childhood
A show that made your mornings
Always heard father say
It was better before
Never knew what that meant
Till becoming an adult
Childhood gone but full of memories
As an adult memories are earned
Money to pay bills or buy stuff
A purchase translates
Into hours at work

In the mirror
Dressing for this date
Be on time don't be late
Trying to make a good impression
Bought a dress shirt baby blue
She was always on his mind
He was falling hard for her
Hoping this might work
Instead of expecting the worse
They dated and things went well
Once the label was tagged
It got complicated more difficult
From talking to silent
Kissing and passion touch
Eventually no feelings or emotions

He thought what to say in his mind
When he attempted to speak
Nothing came out his voice went mute
His thoughts got the best of him
Never played out accordingly
The plan never unfolded pleasantly
The sequence was lost in transition
He was the good guy that got hurt
Made out to be the bad guy
Due to his moral code
He wore his heart on his sleeve
He knew his worth in the world
While others with twisted views
Perceived differently by others
Multiple false accusations