Connecting with another being
Making the most of the situation
Being able to connect relate
Instead of comparing ones self
Competing for approval to be accepted
Not always the same open to change
Just because they stop with the love
Doesn't mean stop loving yourself
Heart on a sleeve shouldn't be a target
A broken smile leads to healing
Don't give up since someone else quit

Always the shoulder to cry on
Can't talk share feelings
Show emotions always strong
Keeping it together for others
Vent not comparing sad stories
Crumbling inside staying composed
Trying to keep it together
Wanting to scream it won't come out
Heart beating in the back of the throat
Never wanted anywhere
Finally feel apart of something
Feels like it will be taken away
Can't win always disappoint someone
Put in an awkward situation
Name being spoken for opportunity
Usually slandered or bad mouthed
Something different and new

Feeling betrayed reached out
Got ignored not looking to be lectured
Don't want to talk avoiding people
Not one to take it out on others
Frustrated taking a time out
Hate feeling depressed ups and downs
Nothing is wrong just feels like it
Lacking inspiration very emotional
Trying to stay motivated
Wanting to speak dk what to say

Someone is always disappointed
They don't talk about
How they use
***** others over
Once they don't get their way
Given multiple chance
Some make one mistake
Then cut off forever
Jealous faces blaming others
Good people made out to be bad
The stories sick and twisted
Took the high road
Bullies still doing the same scam
Cheating to win lying to feel secure

A long day of writing
No nap just focused on the ideas
So many thoughts to reflect on
Somethings seem like more
Once analyzed its not much
Just hyped up in this mind
Always creating seeing it
Feeling it able to connect relate
Sometimes it takes life
All the hate and hype
Blow up like dynamite
The cold magnified getting older
Not saying much writing it all out
Bad habits avoiding them to stay sober
Toxic crowds always the odd one out

Already been there
Already done that
Stepped it up to get it done
Always pointing out flaws
Expecting more with no respect
Give it all full effort it's never enough
Feels like time is running out
Use to say there's plenty of time
My mind my love is blind
Trusting partner hard to find
Always praying for things to change
Staying positive things will get better
Everywhere with thoughts so much clutter

People want you to open up
They can't comprehend your feelings
Then make you feel weird
For feeling the way you do
Already weird embraced it
Use change to fit in kept out
Now keep out for being me
Feels better more right now a days
Either the youngest get it together
When around a younger crowd
Saying get it together can't figure it out
Would rather be alone not comparing
Living up to some unrealistic standards
Happy with life not materialistic
Money doesn't mean rich
Loves to work hard takes pride
More than wanting a job or a title
Treat people right love and respect
Even if they aren't fair to you
Good vibes don't care for attitudes
Keeping it real give off positive vibes

Stopped going out
Not social anymore
Shut out the world
Feeling locked in
Stripped away the old
Thinking about the new
Living in this head
The mind cranking out ideas
Old feelings numb
Wanting to feel that way again
Feels like its gone never again
Old pain fades over time
Cut out those who hurt you
Avoiding toxic people
Not fearing actions
But the consequences
Can't go to certain places
So many bad memories

Couldn't take her out
Things had to happen in order
A sequence in mind
The plan ruined took too long
It never happened
Then she found someone else
Always a debate hate being late
Showed up early don't like to wait
Wanted her love to be mine
Just wanted love to be equal
Matched energies the vibe
Radiates feeling the glow alive

Never been one to brown nose or kiss ***
A natural leader but not first pick
So many think they are boss material
Not able to do the work but want the fancy title
Some excel in other areas while others struggle
Talking bad about people doesn't make you better
If some one ***** tell them how to be better
Show them if you are not helping the problem
Never had a job long enough to grow
Tried to make a difference care more than most
Some collect a check do nothing mostly complain
While others don't care with another job lined up
Most think short term instead of long term
You are the problem people need leaders
Not a boss that walks around feeling important

How you don't talk to so and so
We aren't friends departed
Talking behind my back being two faced
Respect you more if you said it straight up
You do your thing doing mine
Doing my own thing
Never been about material possessions
But live life to the fullest
Both have our own plans
Our own life praying for you
Just because we don't talk
We don't see eye to eye

Should've stepped in
Your happiness mattered more
My gut said this isnt right
Seen you in love
Couldn't come between that
Thought things were well
Turns out things crumble
Watched this wedding
Deep down knew it was wrong
Bit this tongue smiled
Happy for a friend
Faded out let it be
Couldn't be the third wheel
Find out its over years later
Not sure how to act or feel
How to respond just there
Comfort an old friend
But can't sit around
You have a family to support
Be strong for them
If you can't do it for yourself

Not always brave
Hiding in emotions
Not able to make sense
All these feelings occur
Some days full of strength
Ready to take on the day
Others full of dreadful thoughts
Hard to walk out the door
Struggling to get out of bed
Growth in the darkness composing
Shined in the light striving for more

Go so far over time
No turning or looking back
Can't stay stuck in the same place
Rose up can't go back down
Highs and lows use to them lows
Starving for those highs
Won't stay down still pressing
After being knocked over
Never too late will find a way
Made it there sent away
Hard to get close or attached
Bounced around been everywhere
Sent to another location

Grasping the moment
Regretting its over
Put in some time
Saying good bye
The past is history
Life going forward a mystery
So much curiosity floating
Taken away by it all
Can't fall a sleep
Calling your name
After math all that remains

Always around the rejects
People who have potential
Never given a chance
Potential no opportunity
Some make bad decisions
Not given many options
Making the most of it all
Waiting for that call
Tried to make it happen
Judged by people
Who never even tried

Under the big tree mid-day
In front of the house
Enjoying the peaceful day
Reading a book on my favorite artist
A cool breeze in the shade
Good to be out of the house
The world has changed over time
Adjusting cant remain the same
Adapting get through unscathed

Talking mid story
Trying to see where it came from
What's motivating this
Where did this inspiration come from
Felt alive wired during the process
Having fun trying not to obsess
From the darkness to being lit up
Reminded of the good times
Followed by the bad ones
Funny stories from back in the daze
Another phased passed onto the next

Lots of conflict in turmoil
Can't see eye to eye
Behaviors alter as defense
Broken trust caused by constant lies
Lack of respect for one another
Both have big egos clashing
Consumed by pride everything dies
From ******* face to avoiding one another
So much hatred can't be in the same room
Social with everyone but one another
Mixed emotions gone south hit rock bottom

Not sure how to feel
But always thinking
Coped with these thoughts
Somethings need to be said
Set the record straight speak out
Doesn't always matter mean anything
Only time will tell about life
No longer the wild child anymore
From player to getting played
Seeking truth in a room of lies
Open to change always judged
Passing through no reason to stay
Thinking hard not afraid ask

Always saying let it go
But some stuff won't come out
Like it will cause contraversy
That what it felt like at the moment
What I went through at that time
How is a person going to say it's a lie
Tell you how to feel after mistreating
How to think trying to influence others
Because the wrong doing got exposed
Can't win alone forming alliances
Took them on and still not backing down
Always stayed loyal true even lost for them
Made moves made it happen with or without

Haven't had a good friend who's chill
Some always putting on an act
While others pretend
To be someone they are not
A friend where you can open up
Without being judged or criticized
They can do the same
Instead of it being used against you
Some who stands up for you
Has your back times have changed
Loyalty and noble companions
Are no more hard to trust
So many fakes and phonies
Can't connect or get close to anyone

Talking to myself
Writing dialog thinking for two
Things that could be said
Mind brewing conversations
Bubbling thoughts coming out
Characters developing life like
Seeing it in my head
Emotions stirring within
Feelings with reactions

College was a new experience
New people from all over the state
New about social groups and social circles
Eventually it would become about life styles
Not use to certain ways of life
Always been accept and respectful
Till others impose it feels like a struggle
Stuck in a conflict that has nothing to do with
So many new labels and boxes to fit into
Didn't care for any of it tried to get an education
Moving into the dorms around the stoners
Wasn't about it but it was more accepted
Drinking on the weekend was a thing
Binge drinking for a week who knew
So much had changed with age
Reading books to write papers
Sometimes it made sense
Other times what the hell was going on
Sharing a room with a roommate
Some were great others a walking disaster
Nice to sleep in a bed without siblings
So much change but missing family
Dating was another new voyage

Not able to speak always thinking
Mind racing causing a stutter
Feeling frustrated didn't know
How or why this was happening
Compared to others never the same
Told how to act another scolding
A child with a huge sensitive heart
Use to be the funny one wearing a smile
Everyone made it personal
Jokes that were made to laugh
Then the insults came causing pain
Had to have thick skin because of family
Couldn't show feelings or emotions
Seen as weak for caring about others
Transitions are hard from being one way
Then learning you don't have to do it anymore
Growing up being an individual from the rest
Not empowering things that are weak
Being strong to be set free took control
Learned to say no not a yes man
Not what others said or those made up lies
Away from dead weight living a life flying
From those who are not worthy of your time

Always getting blamed
Stayed away from it all
Eventually forgotten fade away
Miss them but feel tossed away
Going back hurts feel the shame
Things have been weird lately
Never the same overwhelmed
Thought about things need change
Always fighting for things to stay
Pushed away too many outside factors

Not mad anymore
Thought about it
All angles perspectives
Took it apart analyzed it
Observed detail put it back together
Cleaned out the gunk a clear mind
Hoping it run better than before
Sometimes parts need to be replaced
Took the bad out focused on the good
New pieces new beginnings starting over

Use to be close friends
Talked about everything
Now intense awkward silence
Friendship was divided
Not sure how to make it right
Gave up bad habits to make it right
Focused on then but different now
Having a hard time forgiving
Forgiving ones self things not going back
Back to normal never the same again
Strain on the pain such a drain on the body

Writing to past time
Clear my mind do what's right
Able to share without criticism
Feelings used against you seen as weak
With a pen and notebook feel at peace
Someone is mad always tripping
Keeping a distance not getting all the backlash
Never said anything about anyone
All they do is talk not listening of bothering
Caught feelings ended up disappointed
Shared emotions and treated different
Like it doesn't matter or mean anything
Walk around acting heartless not to get hurt

Keep it simple
Write it short
A sense of humor
A mind full of laughs
Everyone easily offended
Suppose to be funny
Too serious analytical
Someone is always mad
Or criticism than laugh
A silent room no applause
Trying to cheer others up
Hate consumes their way of life
Being nice open to change
An easy target on the stage no regrets

A fight to make it to the end
Crawling to finish strong
Pushing through the pain
All the punishment to win
Suffering along the journey
Showing no emotions or feelings
Consumed by not expressing
In a healthy manner the silence
A quiet mouth keeping the peace
Connected to a loud enraged mind

Sad how people change
Years of bullying
Pretending to care
Tried to control the situation
Not accepted or one of them
Expected to fall into tank
Not part of the group
Only by default welcomed
Or if a favor is needed
Couldn't stay calm or get cozy
One day you are liked
Things felt unbelievable
Others you are excluded
Seen as the enemy looked down on
Had an opinion got ignored
All the judgement took it
Criticized did nothing wrong
Double standards with a twist
Always ******* over
Told never go against the family
Felt like the family was ready to attack
Lonely in a room full of people
An empty room feels normal
Write it out things feel right

Tried to make up for missing
Work felt tripled trying to help
Feels like time is running out
An older man wants to be young
Try to have fun life so dull and boring
New activities and new hobbies
Friends are getting married
Having kids family first
Working nights being responsible
On different schedules letting go
It was hard emotions fade
Feelings going numb feeling dim within
Wanting to scream things wont change
Life goes on starting to age turn the page

Tough love with mother
Now it's coming from a bitter sister
As the older sibling can only do so much
It's their life nothing is given
Everything is worked for
Need to own up instead of blaming
Rather be living life than gaming
Social in life great conversations
Don't care for the negativity on social media
Don't care for likes or care to be judged
Not always liked in real life
In a world full of judgement
Writing to feel Been keeping it real
Over all the click bait bad journalism
A picture with the title in bold now it's an article

Sent away trying to find a place
Don't always belong focused on work
Sometimes the people love you
Or times they could careless for you
Sometimes the route is manageable
Other times you show up to do your work
Also do others work on top of yours
More writing not arguing or fighting
This mouth means well but causes trouble
Taking all the blame all the heat
Not even a lead or in charge making calls
Always one minded to more stuck with less
Dk what's deserved but willing to work for it
Never been a favorite just being the anti-hero
Never the same so many moments never again

Use to hide feelings feared being judged
Denied emotions feeling drained
The heart grows new life new roles
Spoke up got shut out never backed down
Stood tall doing better hated being on call
Fought to be part of that life now it's over
Part of that world for one chapter onto the next
Sadness over not being forgiven altered behavior
The best way to apologize move on from struggle
Going to progress not settle became obsessed
Still at it again not need to pretend just live it up

Thought things changed
Still the same not hiding
Or covering up old pain
Felt it was taken away
Replaced with worse
Made the most of things
Break this curse
Wake up from this nightmare
Just there never belong
Hard working someones mad
Trying to blame for being lazy
Took pride and work hustling
Someday just want to stay in bed
Others ditch work and never return
Always loyal and true a lost quality
Mind says ***** it not happy why do it
This heart says honor it get it done
Finish strong all the way through

Been a tough couple of days
If healing the world was a power
Praying for the safety of others
People make it home with out fear
I'm sorry for the loss that justice is served
Years of injustice coming out
That love conquers all the light shines
Exposing the wicked those wrong doers
That good wins over evil staying positive
From tv to the neighborhood so close

Riding fast on the road
Cold wind blowing in the face
Sweaty face feels extra cold
Wearing layers dressed warm
Arriving to all the fun
Lost in getting it done
Make the most of things
Thankful for everything
Then ride away return home
Thoughts following positive vibes
Count the blessings
Learn the lesson
Today was a good day

Flowing on the beat
Feeling the vibe alive
Chilling alone with music
Coming up with lyrics
Might say something deep
From the heart of truth
Honesty seen as ruthless
Wisdom with age over time
Always changing it up to improve
Working for the moment
One line at a time to empower
Motivated by faith and grace
Won't be taken down by hate

Putting out good vibes
Taking on bad a side battle
Wearing a smile genuinely
Don't like to complicate things
Keeping it simple
Shouldn't too wild
Have up the old ways for better
Staying sober is hard craving a drink
Avoiding temptation not be consumed
Friends with bad habit
Not about that life anymore
Thought about dating the right girl
Been with the wrong trying to do right
Walking alone growing old
Staying positive some acting cold
A heart on this sleeve
Ready to love again

He was scared of success
He did love his family
Why would he be the one
Taking care of everyone
If he made it to the next level
If he made they'd love him
If he failed they'd look down on him
In the end he was never seen the same
He rebelled drifted off his course
Always held to a different standard
From the rest he gave it was never enough
They expected more
He always felt like a failure
They were quick punk
And push him around
Talking big but didn't do anything