Being pulled in all directions
Trying to stay a whole
Earned respect fades away
Redemption not feeling worthy
Proving self worth without loss of value
A vicious cycle for others approval not seen as an equal
Hard to show emotions under frustration
Not let feelings get the best of everything

Closing always *****
The last one leaving
Setting the alarms
Making sure the building is secure
Hustling to invest in a dream
Pens and paper to create
A day without writing
Feeling complete doing it
Thinking about it twenty four seven

She caused the fight
He could never get it right
So he stopped trying
Never good enough stopped caring
It made things worse
All efforts made not good enough
She'd kiss him it lost value
She'd say sorry same actions repeated
He loved her with all his heart
It felt she ripped it out trying to force love
From natural to unrealistic demands
Expectations that never made any sense
Eventually he wanted to escape get away
Far away so he can heal from the trauma
Loved more than most another chapter
Of failed love broken relationships
Thinking he found the one but was wrong

Writing to get it out
Out of the system
Trying not to burn and crash
Said some stuff didn't feel right
Wrote it down things made more sense
Such a process with writing
The word play and deep thoughts
Wild emotions come out raw
Processing it all don't always cope
So many outlets don't always get out
Doing too much at once
Overloading the system
Never enough  trying to do more
A personality too much for others to handle

Searched for answers
Reflected on life
Many moments encounters
Experiences helped with growth
Faced challenges overcame stuff
Some stayed in the way
Many needed to be moved
Walked away from that life
Never looked back
Didn't fit in or belong
Tired of ridiculous high standards
Fit into a box denying myself
That strips everything down

Talking truth with others
So hard to do
Someone is always mad
Or gets offended
Had a group discussion
Felt responsible
Most dk how to debate
So things get rough
Turn into an argument
An opinion was asked
Not taken to heart
Or used to hold a grudge
Seen or treated different
For having a new point of view

Couldn't take her out
Things had to happen in order
A sequence in mind
The plan ruined took too long
It never happened
Then she found someone else
Always a debate hate being late
Showed up early don't like to wait
Wanted her love to be mine
Just wanted love to be equal
Matched energies the vibe
Radiates feeling the glow alive

Stopped waiting on others
Do it anyway eventually
It's dumped on you
Skip the middle man
Hired or not working hardest
Not afraid to get *****
Push even through the struggle
Roles are established
Harder worker aim to get it done
Dealing with a titled lead
Abusing power and can't hang
It's at every job trying not to complain
Don't care for politics
Used or not still doing something
Had to pray get lost in the word
Not into the ways of the world
Finding faith and believing

Called weird for being different
Told you're trying too hard
For having an opinion called annoying
Seen as a brat for speaking up
Always working doing something
Respectful to others different cultures
Try to understand other's way of life
Personal standards open to learn
Lots of growth new beginnings

Comedy in the heart
Making jokes for laughs
A heart warming smile
Talking about funny moments
Random comments awkwardness
During a serious intense time
Lighten the mood uncomfortable
Sketch comedy fun one liners
****** expression grins snug remarks

He thought he had time
Almost 40 lived a wild life
Learning to settle down
Dated all the wrong women
Trying to find the right one
Feels like time is running out
Working to support his craft
Always around family
They always kept him down
He wasn't in a rush
Been hurt by an old crush
All the lies deceit hard to trust
Injuries finally healing
Not the same with the pain
Bones ache in the rain

Keep it simple
Write it short
A sense of humor
A mind full of laughs
Everyone easily offended
Suppose to be funny
Too serious analytical
Someone is always mad
Or criticism than laugh
A silent room no applause
Trying to cheer others up
Hate consumes their way of life
Being nice open to change
An easy target on the stage no regrets

Never talked about anyone
Said it to their face straight up
Never give them a reason to talk
Talk smack to matter knocking others
Doesn't make things right
Or make you a better person
So many trying too hard
Feels like a lost cause why bother
Thoughts that stand out
Bouncing around shouldn't be said
Different tone when written down
Writing before work block it all out
Some days are great made it through
Others are overwhelming getting by
Can't wait for them to end come home

The worse is showing no emotions
Hurting inside refusing to shed a tear
Hiding feelings not easy to express
They'll get the best of you
Like trying to defuse a bomb
Trying to be better rise above hate
Not fall into bad habits
Not lose your temper over others
A smirk to hide the frustration
Minding your mouth not going off
Keeping out of others business
Too bad they can't do the same
They'll throw you under
Because they have nothing to show
Trying to tarnish your reputation
So they can feel better so insecure
Another act pretending to be pals
Trying get into not spilling the beans

Working hard to get ahead
Barely getting by above water
No time for a dream
Time for change want it
Being loyal got ******* over
Gave everything never enough
Not young anymore feeling it
Always get the 3rd degree
Broken trust kept a distance
Stayed away disconnected
Love is hard to come by
It's easier to say goodbye
Don't like to be emotionally attached
Why connect not planning to stay

Around people that slandered your name
Forgiven because they are family
Others are usually ignored not a time wasted
Never called unless a favor is needed
Always on deck waiting to be included
Not always the favorite or like
Written off till doing more than most
Made the scapegoat had to step away
Cleaned up not the same person
Bad memories others keep bringing up

He called her sent to voice mail
He texted her and no response
He thought she was the one
He seen her in his future
She didn't feel the same way back
He asked her to be his gf
She talked about a career
A future of her own without him

Never got a call back
When the phone rang
Didn't answer or return the call
Don't know how to act
Or how to feel when together
Sometimes love is too real
Other times it's cold gone numb
Felt more wasn't enough
Felt nothing everything played out
All in quick to leave no going back
No interest planning a future
One sided love never grows
Empty with an emotionless kiss
Begging for love soon gave it up
Wanted to be the one learning to love
Only one in your heart feeling unworthy
Not one of many that are passing
Saying one thing actions show another
Confused trying to function with our situation

In the crowd watching the game
Not use to this view
On the field or involved
Once coached the game
Once was a player
To become a spectator of it
The love for it never fade
Desires to go back
Participate by giving pointers
Help the next generation
Times have changed
Athletes grow old
The heart never give
Talent fades with time
Wear and tear on the body
Working towards a goal
Practice like a champ
Listen to the coach
Push limits dig down deep

Don't like letting people down
It bugs me to my soul
Gets to my heart causing ache
Drains my strength and energy
Taking on weight getting crushed
Helping others with burdens
Caring too much overwhelmed
Being careless is hard
Carrying an empty heart
Feeling lifeless like a ghost
Going through motions
Can't win doing what's right
Able to write able to pursue
One dream no say or control
Over the rest of the world
Made the most of it all
Sitting alone in the break room
People don't want to get hurt
They detach themselves
Feeling exclude from the rest
Nothing to give or offer anymore

Got clean but they won't let you forget
Said sorry and changed behavior
Faded away disappeared
Like I can't do anything
Moving on with life with no regret
Accused not talking this verbal abuse
Sober living meant giving up on an old life
Stopped partying and working hard
Probably get fired before getting a promotion
Did so much good but the bad shadows
Feel like this is a life sentence
Can't escape all the hate
From those who remain the same
Remind me I made mistakes
Bring up old pain bad meomeries remain
Staying positive in a room full of haters
Working hard to change my struggle
From poor to getting by
Want to make it happen
Scared it hasn't happened yet
The world goes slow feel the anxiety grow
One day at a time take it slow
Tired of walking away following the rules
Too many cheaters rewarded for bad deeds
Mind my mouth showing respect
Thoughts are compressed inside
Ready to explode come out with a wrath

Talking about the past
With an old friend
Reminded of the good time
Forgot about some moments
Wasn't her type but that's all right
She eventually caught feelings
After she denied yours
Stayed away don't talk anymore
Missed the good times
We meant not to be in this life time
Thought it was the right time
Turns out not anytime soon

Sometimes people talk to hear their voice
After a while it's just to be a smart ***
Or their talking feels like a waste of time
Sad how people change for the wrong reason
Being a badass but hurt over a girl
A bad attitude over not getting your way
The tone changed because of someone else
But everyone gets all the backlash
Sooner or later crash and burn
Talking loud doesn't mean right
Making people look stupid
Doesn't mean you know it all
Hiding behind alcohol relying on a bad rep
Which cause credibility to lose value
So much contradiction going on
Looking out gave advice to be ignored

He was made fun of but family
He grew up poor and wanted more
Never settled for less and had to work
Couldn't settle for less
Got tired of being distracted
Lost his way on a different path
Went to college set the bar
His siblings drifted away
In a bad relationship settling for less
He wanted more for them
It's their life he let it go
He didn't know them anymore
Everyone grew up became their own person
He respected them as an individual
They expected and acted like he owed them
He was never rude or disrespectful
They talked down on him he stayed away
Everyone vicious set in their ways
He prayed and went on his way
He forgave them and himself
From who he use to be
The path he chose was the walk of faith

Stressing when shes here
Not able to sleep
Up late thinking
Not the best role model
Always looking out
Not a poster child did take risks
Not my kid taking responsibility
Always taking rejects into this family
A group of outcast coming together

So many made up rules
Insults masked by humor
Silenced for having an opinion
Ignored asking a question
Opened eyes seen bad actions
While others turn a blind eye
The dream so real in the mind
Escaping the nightmare reality
Transitional journey plays out
Emotional waves settles
Levels out over time
Once felt wrong
Count the blessings
Learned from the life lesson

Learning to face fears
Cope with pain from years ago
Slow down been on the go
No time to think just do
Trying to hustle pay bills
Haven't been on a date
Haven't been feeling anyone
Use to be defensive blocked it out
Always talking to someone
Would rather have a friend than rush
But take too long might ruin a good thing
Denied feelings out of respect for a friend
Who never made a move or had a chance
Made a move things got weird on another level
Held back over thinking it wasn't the right time
Not sure how to act put it out there
Can't take it back these feelings
Emotions running strong lost in the moment

Always around the rejects
People who have potential
Never given a chance
Potential no opportunity
Some make bad decisions
Not given many options
Making the most of it all
Waiting for that call
Tried to make it happen
Judged by people
Who never even tried

Old enough to know better
Some choose otherwise
Missing youth older now
Work to pay bills getting by
No time for dreams on the go
Trusting the wrong people
Prayed for the right ones
From a young adult to a man
It happened so fast time has passed
Feels too late not losing faith
Others will not dictate fate

The anger grows
Won't be consumed
Writing keeps it from going
Keeps things from going off
Release the tension
Deflate the situation
Calming the nerves
Over the edge about to go off
Wiping away tears
Over coming fears
Spoke up now they are mad
Said nothing being taken advantage of
Feeling provoked trying to be nice
Can't say anything spread rumors
To the masses can't win alone
Trying to change the odds
Making things personal
Not taking it or falling for it
Screaming inside ready to strike
Stronger than most think
Mentally able to block it out
Physically restrain heavy handed
Not trying to fight but write

Family changes when money is well
Talking about you for no reason
Once they need something
They friend you for favors
She blabbing in your ear
Trusting all the wrong people
Going back to a cheater
Say one thing get chewed out
So much love for the one
Who treats them bad always forgiven

Always holding back
Not sure how to react
Some deep cleaning
Letting all out cluster over time
Never said but should've been
Concerned for others feelings
While taking shots at mine
Tried to be the bigger person
Thinking too hard and let it go
Not going to sink low
Drop to their level
Use to being above and upbeat
Not sink to an all time low

Haven't had a loyal friend
Hard to trust its been a while
So much hurt within
All the betrayal ended it all
Friendships came to an end
True colors were shown
Relationships like a sinking ship
Broken hearts watery eyes
Hurt within a shattered heart
Reevaluate life choice and decisions
Poor judgement bad decisions
Didn't have many opinions
Branched out took a risk

Writing life if life was ending
What can be said before fate is near
Always faithful and positive
So much negativity around
Adapt and adjust so much broken trust
Sad how things turned out
Really working hard to change
Learned they played out accordingly
An open heart closed out from the world
Closed minds not open to change but expect it
Free thinkers criticized for thinking differently
Always been a chubbs while everyone was lean
Worked hard lost pounds not on drugs
Took more risk got more criticism
Never talk about anyone who does nothing

Sent away trying to find a place
Don't always belong focused on work
Sometimes the people love you
Or times they could careless for you
Sometimes the route is manageable
Other times you show up to do your work
Also do others work on top of yours
More writing not arguing or fighting
This mouth means well but causes trouble
Taking all the blame all the heat
Not even a lead or in charge making calls
Always one minded to more stuck with less
Dk what's deserved but willing to work for it
Never been a favorite just being the anti-hero
Never the same so many moments never again

Speaking from the heart
Always honest makes life easier
Caring too much can have setback
The heart means well doing what's right
This heart and mind in conflict
Logic versus emotions and feelings
Very observant notice things
Helped a friend kept them moving
Some just use and betray trust
Left when times got tough
Left taking the blame fighting their battle
Spoke up made them look good
Now they are dumping their heat
Like if you started it