Searched for answers
Reflected on life
Many moments encounters
Experiences helped with growth
Faced challenges overcame stuff
Some stayed in the way
Many needed to be moved
Walked away from that life
Never looked back
Didn't fit in or belong
Tired of ridiculous high standards
Fit into a box denying myself
That strips everything down

Can't get close to anyone
Will get abandoned
Can't trust or rely on anyone
Always doing as much possible
Left doing it all and easily annoyed
Trying to make it through the day
Through the shift dealing with people
Not my crowd feels like no allow to say
Or do anything have an opinion just work
Fighting hard going strong things are bad
So many things going wrong
Flirting with all this frustration
Trying to understand
Don't expect anything from others
Demanding too much from myself

Not always able to speak
But can write for days
Not a phase a clear mind
New mindset onto new
Can't do much ready to be set free
The past is over not meant to be
Let me be time to rise
Years of holding up others
Dead inside trying to exist
Rather be living than pretending
Not what others say
Know the truth not listening to lies
Free to think without being judged
Speak without others thinking less of
Have an opinion full of grace
Here comes more criticism
Out of my ear with ruckus
Out of my face not intimidated anymore

A monster cares for others
Didn't mean to destroy what he love
The beast has emotions feeling
Looks mean but full of emotions
The machine processed it all
Comes together fill with perspective
All these come together exposing truth
A human being under it all
A warrior heart beating strong
Fighting through it all
Hero mindset with a moral code
Pursuing greatness within the layers

In the mirror
Dressing for this date
Be on time don't be late
Trying to make a good impression
Bought a dress shirt baby blue
She was always on his mind
He was falling hard for her
Hoping this might work
Instead of expecting the worse
They dated and things went well
Once the label was tagged
It got complicated more difficult
From talking to silent
Kissing and passion touch
Eventually no feelings or emotions

Always showing love
Even when excluded
Respectful not about the hype
Don't really have a type
Always down to mess around
Miss being home always on the go
On the road outta town learned to say no
Always doing favors can't do one thing
New hater not playing or going along
Remember the good time fade away
Not good with goodbye time is up
Wanted to stay no learning
Not gaining anymore

How do complicated people
Talk about others to take the attention off them
When no one is talking about them
Quick to blame others and make excuses
Instead of owning up very frustrating
Far from perfect
They burden others and expect
Manipulating others with guilt
So they can be set in their ways
Too stubborn to change
Listen to anyone that means well

Feels right but it wont load
Got too deep kept it real
Said what's up to be ignored
Did things alone all of a sudden
Others show interest pretend to care
Gave an invite not taken serious
Seen as a joke no one is playing
Showed mush respect taken lightly
Had to detour in this journey
Made it to the destination
Always moving nothing is permanent
Never get comfortable avoid change

Always have an idea
Be open to grow
Develop apply to life
Use the knowledge
Be resourceful inspire
Insightful to motivate
Encourage positive vibes
A thankful smile brighten days
Laughter that lights the room

Always holding back
Not sure how to react
Some deep cleaning
Letting all out cluster over time
Never said but should've been
Concerned for others feelings
While taking shots at mine
Tried to be the bigger person
Thinking too hard and let it go
Not going to sink low
Drop to their level
Use to being above and upbeat
Not sink to an all time low

He was made fun of but family
He grew up poor and wanted more
Never settled for less and had to work
Couldn't settle for less
Got tired of being distracted
Lost his way on a different path
Went to college set the bar
His siblings drifted away
In a bad relationship settling for less
He wanted more for them
It's their life he let it go
He didn't know them anymore
Everyone grew up became their own person
He respected them as an individual
They expected and acted like he owed them
He was never rude or disrespectful
They talked down on him he stayed away
Everyone vicious set in their ways
He prayed and went on his way
He forgave them and himself
From who he use to be
The path he chose was the walk of faith

Coming to terms
Not that person
About that life anymore
Wasn't meant to be
There's no going back
Gone much further
In other places
Started over found new
Developed new skills
Life experiences with gains
Lessons learned gathered
full of encounters social interaction
Open to grow observation and listen

Miss being young no bills
Just friends being dumb having fun
Stayed single feared having a kid
At a young age dated but started late
Everyone grew up some went to school
Others stayed home got married or had kids
Forced to grow up and others just worked
Drinking was fun underage then it wasn't
Some developed habits others did drugs
No one knows what they want
Even now as an adult still figuring it out
Thinking how close friends use to be
Now strangers no longer talking
Some got clean acting like they did no wrong
Mad over a cheating girl that did them wrong
So many factors that make it hard
Some roll with the punches others take them
Trying to be better than parents
Some end up like them or even worse

Why is it a dream
Why can't it be a reality
Working for it
Nothing comes easy
Never given for free
Only in your mind
It makes sense feels right
Getting it out into existence
Better than imagined
Feeling accomplished
Never satisfied still trying
Not pretending just doing
Hard to find balance
Stay centered focused

Writing for years
Wiping those tears
Telling the truth
Seen as wild and ruthless
Not about gold seen as cold
The struggle within
Trying to get out of this mindset
Open to change turn the page
Growing out of bed habits
Not falling back into them
Focused on being better
Over come some pain
Strive to be better
Living life to the fullest
Tomorrow is not promised

Sharing old stories
Lost in memories
Parts of life
That caused growth
Another way of living
Felt like much more
Now it's passed
It doesn't matter
Onto the next
Way more selective
Over trusting was a mistake

There's no secret just keep working
Work for it nothing is given
Don't care to prove anymore
Set up to fail trying to make it
Mind needs peace not influenced
by others pretending to be somebody
Didn't know about lofti beats
Started to feel them within
Able to show emotions set a time
Grown up living it up daily
Still haven't made it so close
Yet it feels so far away to touch
Hard to walk away always determined
Took a different path
Didn't expect to get there
Right away or follow the norm
The ideal standards of others
Working with what's given
Thankful for the blessings
Earned it putting in time
Working to make it happen

Sad to be around my cousins kids
The kids want attention and ignored
They like when you spend time with them
Doesn't take much to be involved
Everyone is different
With their styles and approach
Always wondered what if and why
Some have kids but not responsible
Trying to be the person
Needed when being young

Talking truth with others
So hard to do
Someone is always mad
Or gets offended
Had a group discussion
Felt responsible
Most dk how to debate
So things get rough
Turn into an argument
An opinion was asked
Not taken to heart
Or used to hold a grudge
Seen or treated different
For having a new point of view

Not into feeding egos
Struggling with confidence
Hard to trust anyone
Confine in others broken trust
Looking for a true friend
Haven't been connected for a while
The single life can be lonely
Living it to the fullest
Haven't found the right person
Like a turtle in a shell
A safety space the comfort zone
Giving it all not the best
Doing what's best
What needs to be done
Trying to find it within
Confidence to be better
Strive towards excellence
Letting the heart grow
The words flow from within
A quiet mouth with a loud mind

Showed up to there
Wasn't even acknowledged
Always been supportive
Never played the lead
Left in the open to be a target
Been walking strong crumbling
Smiled to hide the pain
Use to have high expects
Left with disappointment
Always been a doer
Never asked found a way
So many road blocks and detours
Don't do this but it's been done
You can't do this been doing it
You're not alllowed already been there
Just do it without doubt or hesitation
From always on the go to home
From free to work an average Joe job
Seen things done stuff on this journey

Being strong for others
Not always confident
Being bold and honest
Some days are up
Others are down
Getting off social media
Appreciating life by living
Mental health finding outlets
Words to share emotions
Drawing to show feelings
Letting go of what's within
Some are good memories
Others toxic not feeding into them
Each line to empower
Texture for dimensions
Sharing what's inside
Stop hiding cheating yourself
Stay loyal true genuine
Hard qualities to find now a days
Be you and yourself
Since its all you know
Time to shine let it show

The cold weather slept most of the day
Praying for others listening to music
Plowed through it all not afraid
Wanted to bring them along
Some got left behind forgotten
Ill always remember the moment
Wanted to be the hero help others
Some don't want to be saved
Everyone departed living another life
From the group some started a family
Some chase a dream that may not happen
Doing what they love but no gain
Some working to invest in their projects

Trying to be honest
Lieing eats up the insides bleeds out
So many offend for being called out
Always told straight up
Treated differently for having an opinion
Criticized for having a goal
Seen as crazy for pursuing a dream
Could be better still not settling
Squatted after being told off
Being disrespected stopped listening
Attacked by bad attitudes
Getting the backlash
Frustration caused by someone else
Knows about sacrifice to get through
This journey to be an individual
Called a rebel for taking a stand
No one believe in your work
Only expecting results as proof
Like your efforts don't matter
Use to being denied not accepting it
Being rejected means meant for better
Laughed at by family who never tried
Mocked by devious people
Who don't understand
Nor do they care
Since it's not about them

A heavy heart
Choices to be made
Wanting one life
Had to give up the current
The fork in the road
Single wanting a partner
So much sacrifice another wrong
Compromised for the wrong people
More loss than gain

The weather makes it easier to sleep
It is better to be cold than hot
Blankets and football weather
Not chocolate soothes the soul
Refreshing nights full of comfort
Able to take it all in and enjoy
Everyday with growth
Onto new beginnings
Able to rest and it shows

Don't like letting people down
It bugs me to my soul
Gets to my heart causing ache
Drains my strength and energy
Taking on weight getting crushed
Helping others with burdens
Caring too much overwhelmed
Being careless is hard
Carrying an empty heart
Feeling lifeless like a ghost
Going through motions
Can't win doing what's right
Able to write able to pursue
One dream no say or control
Over the rest of the world
Made the most of it all
Sitting alone in the break room
People don't want to get hurt
They detach themselves
Feeling exclude from the rest
Nothing to give or offer anymore

A late bloomer open to grow
Never knew just went without
Wasn't in a rush to grow up
After a few failed relationships
Learned to appreciate being single
Jobs in bad work environment
He appreciated working alone
Working to get paid wasn't born rich
A full heart of nothing in effort

Missing them
Sent to a new location
Feeling bad for the old
Never utilized properly
Hardest worker over looked
Positive attitude in a negative area
All the struggles to get hired
Always overlooked not a brown noser
Trusting my employer to do what's right
Wrong to expect more stuck with less
Played many roles thought things went well
Gave all that was in the tank
Made efforts to stand out
Let the work speak not much of a talker

Showing emotions through words
Able to feel come alive
Never felt this way before
Not the same person anymore
More than a face in the crowd
Behind the scenes making moves
Saying it's time to produce
No one can tell your story
Or see what your eyes see
Get out the raw emotions
Show emotions in story form
Strong and deep what does it all mean

Why so much hate
Everyone is consumed
Tamed it for years
Now its coming out
Be careful what's said
It came out can't be taken back
Consequences for every action
Be responsible with actions
So many recording everything
On the web spreads like a fire
Don't hurt anyone or get hurt
Respect yourself and neighbor
How you treat others says a lot
Love others how you'd love yourself

Not a boss working like one
Wanting to get paid like one
Pushing the limits not holding back
Called the man getting it done
Not use to thank you or complements
Don't care for the game or glory
Use to being a walking target
For being different doing what's right
Told not to do it doing it more
Trying to get hired so many get fired

Ribbing with siblings
It's all fun and games
Till someone makes it personal
Work to improve the situation
So much hate not losing faith
Opinions will not dictate fate
Striking back against the odds
Made offensive twisted words
Talked big a big game got played
Feelings got hurt quit playing victim

Made it through the storm
No fear or terror just want it over
Time alone thinking of what's next
Planning and preparing for more
Things that need to be done
Experience awaiting in the moment
The future unknown growth
Wisdom to gain over time
New romance with magnetic love
Places to embrace every encounter

The world has change
Not for the better
Finding faith and praying
Always had respect for my elders
Never entitled earned a spot
Working for it since its not given
Treat people right they'll do the same
Not looking for trouble
Don't care for drama
Not always liked but respectful
Don't bother others with problems
Quick to find a solution
Can't always settle for less

Learning to face fears
Cope with pain from years ago
Slow down been on the go
No time to think just do
Trying to hustle pay bills
Haven't been on a date
Haven't been feeling anyone
Use to be defensive blocked it out
Always talking to someone
Would rather have a friend than rush
But take too long might ruin a good thing
Denied feelings out of respect for a friend
Who never made a move or had a chance
Made a move things got weird on another level
Held back over thinking it wasn't the right time
Not sure how to act put it out there
Can't take it back these feelings
Emotions running strong lost in the moment

So much to be said
Not sure how to say it
Words bouncing around
In the back of the mind
Mouth can cause trouble
Learned to be silent
Pick and choose battles
Something worth fighting for
Pushed through the traumas
Never gave into the hurt
The pain was all too real
After a while became immune
Felt so numb for some years
From mind down to the heart
Didn't know how to react
Eyes wide open staring
Into the distance blank thoughts
Not sure where to go