It was the 1st date in year
My mind full of fears
I wait under the street light
Hoping things go right
Her eyes and red lips grab my attention
We talk and watch a film
After we sit and talk
Getting to know one another better
Sharing personal stories
Feeling a charged connection
The night ends with a kiss
She is missed in the heart

I started writing
I got asked what I was writing
I told them my life
Oh so you're writing a comedy
I joked yeah it was suppose to be a suicide letter
But it became my biography
Everytime others ask I give them a different story
I write monologue for my standup routine
No one gets the joke
I wonder if they are listening
When I'm serious I get a laugh
When I joke they take me serious
Writing is my outlet
Hoping one day I might be understood

The best feeling is escaping those feelings
Not letting them consume me or run me down
I've seen worse and thankful that's not me
I'm stuck in a cycle of obsession I want to break out
The world in front of me if full of surprises
While the past full of failed out comes I can't change.
I'm into creating but not moving in the present
Too much anger and hate keeping me from seeing the good
I waste my time fighting and arguing with idiots because I want to be right
going out of my way to prove they are wrong even if it means losing track of what matters
I felt a weight and burden life off my heart
I'm happy and deserve even if others try to take it by ruining my day or taking shots at my bullet proof self esteem
My mind likes new and different oppose to just being here waiting time or observing others
It's become my fix since I don't drink human behavior interests me theres always a reason to every answer but that's just my opinion
I'm normal not any different then the average **** walking the street
Ppl bully but that's the defense to the insecure
I'm not that person I was as a child I've grown and seen much more my experiences are lessons I've learned from.

I don't want to mess this up doing wrong won't make it right
Feelings so strong to focus is hard not trying to fight
Over the double standards I'm enslaved at the heart
While you roam free work through frustration that's crushing me down
Giving it to god not losing faith or being consumed by hate
Your past shouldn't control your future break the vice grip
Start over new something worth while not wasting time
Once its out  everything will be fine

Waking up getting ready for the day
Writing always sets me straight
Thinking what I have to get done and what needs to be done
Growing and changing I've given myself a chance to do so
I'm thankful for the ppl who have faith and believe in me
I hate to disappoint them so I have to make it happen
I want my own talk show that would be awesome
I saw myself being a sports radio personal as well
It feels I don't fit the mold but planning to make my own

Sitting alone listening to music
Typing it out getting it out of my system
Eyes judgement full of disgust
Not buying or believing the bs
I'm doing my own not worried about yours
Mindin my business not trying to get caught
You talk about everyone else nothing going on with you
Drama and trouble all that's important is the truth
Not trying to prove myself I've already done it
Venting but I've said too much maybe not enough
Feeling the change within not going back
Already know don't tell me how to act
Im doing good your the one who overreacts

I don't like disappointing ppl
Or being disappointed
I walked away but going back
Things are not the same or will never be normal
I've grown up in two cities not sure where the heart belongs
I've had many lovers but only one has my heart
I do things because they told me I don't belong and I deserve to be there I busted my *** to get there.
Leaving always feels like part of me is left behind
I don't like to leave on bad terms
I don't like burning bridges even though I leave to the point of no return.

i write because it makes the word seem right
everything makes sense through words
ive been one to shape and scrap out all the bad
my mind is clear no more fear
all i want is to get out live the moment and write about it
my senses and feeling released hoping my readers end up pleased
i may not be a favorite but ill do right by your side
im always open with nothing to hide
ive done wrong not living with guilt
my eyes kind and caring with lips full of truth
im not looking away but focused on my path
im going towards what i want and know what i need
doing me and my greed not selfish but doin my thing

Gagging camt breathe
Take time to rest
Body shows pain
Cough up blood
Taste in the mouth
Skin becomes rough
Hair gains a shade of white
Muscle turns to fat
Trapped in a body of age
Work hard to obtain health
Earache pain hard to fake
Stub a toe walk with a lip
Trauma to the body echoes
Up all night fight to stay up
Sleep most of the day
No rest but pain
Only bad memories remain

you claim to be my friend
you pursue a girl that i once had
you slander my name
thinking it will win her over
you come to me and act like you have never spoken wrong
in your ingorant head you think you are right
departed over your insecurity
i can care less what you think
you judge a friend
you are no long alive to me
dead in my heart not a friend

Make way for today
Love is in the air
All of a sudden everyone cares
Do it right all year
Don't stress today
You'll find true love one day
Don't feel like a reject
All year long you neglect and reject others
Today you realize your alone
Respect and trust before giving love
Your special in someone's eyes they haven't open them on you
Love yourself eventually someone else
Your day v-day

Working hard for this moment been doing it for sometime
All the uphill battles others giving you a hard time
Do it because its my passion living my life old fashion
Keep telling you "NO" makes you want it more
Sometimes you question if you have it anymore
The time to shine will it be mine
Called a loser but focused on success
Talk like you a champ focused on being the best
Write out those thoughts
Tired of being an emotionless droid robot
Time to make it take that winning buzzer shot.

Sometimes I feel detached and don't belong
Hoping to find that place to call home
Be on my own without feeling I have to be someone I'm not
I remember what I loved others saw as crazy
Now I stopped they call me lazy
Those hypocrites no longer phase me
Back to doing what I love
Reading books and add my spin of ideas
Thinking of how I could've written things
Writing out my ideas I've stopped complaining and started doing something about it
Not holding on letting go if it's meant to be it wouldnt of walked out or I'd still have it
Praying things go right but not getting my hopes up

They tell me to day within the race
I prefer interracial
Makes me want to do it more
Approval or not it's what I like
My happiness they cannot take
I'm hoping to make it work
The only one who gets hurt
I feel it deep within my heart
My world torn apart
don't know where to start
Love is a drug
Get that fix
Hope to one day find the right one
The girl who's in my life
My family will accept
Good or bad I won't regret

Hard to sleep too much on my mind
The rage makes me go blind
Stare at the wall left alone
This place not my own
Hate what I know secrets meant to be know
Not into the tone Leave me alone
Music speaks to the heart
Tv entertains my mind
Reading brightens my days
My soul sings the blues
Passionate humor
Leave the world escape the rumours

We never say sorry but get along
My family proud makes them strong
We are talking no apologizes needed
You apologize it's mistaken for weakness
So you learn to let it go
If you admit your wrong
They think they are always right
Only if things could be done right
Love family alway eve thought they bring you down
Closer to friends but in the end they are there for you
You might agree let them be

Feet hurt back pain
I want to be numb to it all
I'm enjoying work clear of trouble
someones bad attitude screws it up
I don't ask or care why your upset
It ruins my day  so I'm not bothering
I've helped you and you turned your back
Now I avoid you we are not friends
Let me work while you enjoy your pitty party
I do right while you cheat and cut corners

I've been working on character development and dialogue. It feels like Im talking to myself. The plot of one of my projects is a group of losers come together for a greater cause. I write monologues of cold stuff that's funny because it's true. I could be seriously funny! I've sad some shocking stuff but others find my truth to be amusing. I don't like to lie it's a moral thing I also dislike having a guilty conscience. I've got most of the hate and anger out of my system. I dont hold on or hold back. Letting go of the burdens so I could focus on what needs to be done. Not listening to ppl especially if they don't have what I want or doing what matters most to me.

Have you ever loved someone youd do anything.
You treat them well and everything they do destroys you
You love them but they dont love themself
Give it your all trying to do right by their side
You want to reach out by theyll reject you like if they are so righteous
All you ever did wrong was care and want their companionship

Feel censored can't be
Blocked out from true emotions
All that's right feels wrong
The story being told grow old
Not holding a grudge
Friendships end grow apart
Don't care to be tied down
Single life no need for a wife
Not a parent of kids can't afford
Angered to hear others negative words
Talk comes from someone else
Power packed come backs
Moving forward not going back

That do you ask what the hell is going on? Keep working hard going strong still feels like its in the wrong.
One minute they give you and award next minute they are putting you down
Hyped you to knock you down, they talk about respect but always disrespecting. You did your part and more one minute they give the next they take.
No time for the blame game keep making those wrongs into a right. No time to fight so I'll just write make sense of this madness let go of the stress all your frustration taken out on me. I'll walk away thanks for trying to dump your pain bad memories remain. Sick of your disrespect not your scape goat never the one chose someone less that's on you'll I won't always be there to save the day.

Set out to achieve a goal
Seeking the right people
Be better than before
Never the same
Keep moving forward
Feels like time is running out
Over all the worry and doubt
Mind is racing overdrive
Not knowing or showing emotions
Things are not a sure thing anymore
Call out escape the struggle
Not looking back or allowing to be pulled back
Heart never set because it's not meant to be
Not focused on who I was but focused on who I've become living in the moment.
Looking back is yesterday
Looking ahead is not always promised
Live in the moment appreciate the current.

Turn nothing into something
Bad into good
Mood changed today
Sobriety or drunk feeling the gunk
Lie and truth seen as the same **** shame
Ticking of the clock time expires
Take back make it right
Bad overlooked while good is stripped down
Praised for bad conduct
Achievement no luck or applause
Merits earn should be respected not neglected
Salute the good not reward the bad

Still escaping this hurt my friend
Forgiving myself no more counting my mistakes
Letting go of the past not reliviant to my future
Dealing with hurt sobriety won't let me drown it out
Coping with these unsettling thoughts
Not much I can do you don't want  with anyone else
But you don't want to be with me
Once I move on something keeps trying to pull me back

Tired of starting on the bottom
Knocked from the top
Work hard not given what's mine
Everyone pampered and handed theirs
You may not like me but I'm best for the job
You won't have me motivated by the rest of the insecure opposed
You say jealous but tired of being ******* over
You talk big but when I confront you
Your very small you over look me because I'm not tall
You hate me but I don't need you at all
Wasted day wasted night everydays a fight
Give me what I've earned stop taking what's mine
Take my chance but I'm not done

Keep your head up don't let up
Things will change get better
Change my life in the form of word
They fly away with the bird
The great escape keep working don't fight fate
One day love your soul mate
find love that would be great
Lost in those eye lost in the truth
no more living in denial
Sleep good at night
Things feel right only getting better
Work for a living giving back
You have no right telling others how to act
Make a joke get a laugh not random remark

Been a while since I've posted been writing scripts and trying to get my ideas out. I'm thinking about making shorts because I feel I'm the only one who can dictate my stories and find the right people to play these roles. Learning to make my visions a reality. I've been sharing my ideas for my production company we'd like to get the ball rolling and started. Giving dimensions to all thoughts sometimes I write serious and it ends up being comedy.

Not trying to change you I only care for you
I've made the same mistakes
Life can be sour let's get through the hour
Stress and obsess over things beyond your control
I'm here for you even though your set in your ways
See you the same regardless of contradiction
You've always had my attention no need for self destruction
Too much alike you hide behind malfunction rely on beauty
Distracted by seduction not the best way to function
I see you setting up to fail all I want for you is to prevail
I found closure and peace within happiness is not a sin

Writing is the best way to get it out
Alcoholic fathers crying over daughter
Weak divorced husbands drinking so they could speak
Failed relationships denying the truth trying to make it work
Stupid baby mama drama should've left long ago
Suffer for someone else doesn't makes sense
Someone's misery is another mans treasure
Trying to find love in broken trust just a lust
Marriage overrated that's why couples be cheating
Find the scapegoat soil their with the blame
Kids see bad thinking it's alright
Wonder why people do wrong and still seem as good

Think about her every day and night
Wondering what I can do to make it right
Her eyes and smile light up when together
Her voice soothing when she talks
You play with her hair
Let her know that you truely care
Hold her hand and understand
You feel her but she feel this way
Wish nothing came between the two
She shares her heart to build trust
She shares her body there is a vibe of love
Her love or her hate both deep
Piecing the heart set in case things fall apart
Her kisses light and warm with passion
Hold her close never let go
Always a fresh start together
New moment with one another
Souls together on another level
You stare she stares back
Kiss her she kisses you back
Hug her and she huge you tighter
She plays rough licks your face
Bites your shoulder playful love
Someone to kiss and trust

I got inspired to tell stories and see how many ppl relate
Also know what I'm talking about lots of sub cultures are out there and exsist many catch phrase and different ways to do things but the same.
I grew up in a tough environment others did the same maybe worse.
Everyone has their favorite activities and hand out spots! I'm sober to me that way better than drinking feeling sorry for myself drowning out my sorrows to feel better about myself. I'm a soda drinker who loves to drive usually the DD
I like to read gives me insight for writing I tweak it or write stories that are similar but aim to be better.
I've always been a rebel but feared being alone so I tried to fit in found out I'm better off with out! I created the cool guy table anyone can sit with me just don't bring an ego or act like your better when your clearly not. I might hang with the rejects or ppl who are misunderstood but it feels good to belong somewhere

Went to buy comics and though of creating my own
With witty characters and villains who might one day take over the world
I have an inner nerd and want to get it out
Society is always a joy **** you be what your saying and ill do what suits me best
I'm one who could relate to my collects two best friends goofing off and the hero of the day
I'm creating many new dimensions for character give them a world and home before they enter the main plot of the story
I'm in my mind creating a world that makes sense and feels right for my characters the comic would be a fun adventure everyone would enjoy.

My best friend has grown up on me
She's a mom and a beautiful person outside and inside
I remember we dated kissed it could've been much more
We have so much love and respect got one another a relationship just complicates things
She attracted to me when I'm seeing someone
I'm noble to her if the girl don't get along with her the girl has got to go
I remember one night we hung together and my ex was there ******* us together ruining the night
These two could not get along even if I wasn't in the picture.
So to make my ex leave or **** her off my friend plants a juicy kiss on my mouth a mild make out session.
Next moment we notice the ex is gone
We have had many good times together
We don't live close but do keep in contact with one another
Much love and respect for one another
I'm a couple if years older but age doesn't matter

Tired of hating myself and you don't care
Love myself more and you hate that
Oppose me because you oppose everyone else
I don't kiss *** or make others look bad to be accepted
I don't need negative tension or negative vibes from ppl who don't like me
Take that else where you'll find no one gives a **** it bothers
it's not our false you dk how to express yourself
Not into what you have to say got better things to do with my day
You could be a bully but your not getting your way with me
Ill be better as you get worse
make it seem like your actions are pardon because others have done worse
Breaking free of the curse your words mean nothing
I'm destine to be something much more
All your hate is easy to ignore

I never mean to get anyone mad
Some aree just not use to the truth
I'm hoping to a balance but all is outta wack
Would make time both on different schedules
She's ben blessed and experienced more
I might be pursing  her and get hurt
I thouht she was the one
I wanted to be her one too many complication
Never treated her bad but I'm on the end of a damaged heart
If it was easy i d say away
Be better if things went my way
For once there's love and feels right

Once you loved me if you hated me it wouldn't bother me
What hurts most is you forgot about us
The tme we share laughter everywhere
We share moments together in the heart forever
Heart of gold times get cold without her
Thought of forgetting leave the heart regretting
Hard to trust the worse is when its lust
Good times bad times remember time together

When it comes to an end you wake up realizing
You don't need to do it anymore or be that person anymore
Sometime you become someone you don't understand
Being let go set free from something that was not right
The beginning was tough but it got better always a battle
The struggle that lead to no where moments that made you stronger
That chapter has come to an end a new beginning
Don't look back or try to pick out the positive
It's not meant to be so move forward no going back
That mindset did nothing before and nothing now
Open to change let go of the past live within the moment

Walked away instead of being pushed out
Much respect but had many doubt
Parents love but hate for their kid
Only know one side
don't know the crap they did
Threats on the phone
We broke up she won't go home
There's no love leave them alone
Daddy's girl not grown the guy
he warned her about mommy two times daddy
Don't know why others are mad at the daughters x
Family ruins family in ruins

You stack the wood
Light the fire
Time spent with close friends
You talk of good times
Friendship full of memories
You feed the fire
Keep it alive
So the night could continue
Keeps you warm
Able to make fire treats
Fire burns till the sun comes up
Stories by the fire for entertainment
Next day you mad a bond
That keeps everyone strong

Always in my own world
In my mind thinking of things to say
Words to write mind lights up like a dragon fly
See the world through my eyes it could be frustrating
Can't control everything take on what you can handle
You think and wonder but never know till you try
Not giving up or letting go of the dream
They say no but your every being says yes
Treat you like you don't belong prove them wrong
There is no look for the job but yours till you get what's yours
Too many tries not accepting failure till its yours
Moving toward goals and dreams

In a mustang driving fast
**** the price of gas
Riding with my guitar
Lets see how far we go
Blasting loud music
Feeling the beat
Go for a ride along the coast pch
Cruising clearing the mind wondering
Hoping thing change
find what I'm looking for
Days are fresh but nights more refreshing
Write and ride freedom and expression
Finish up feeling much better
Getting there going to the place meant to be

not tied down by possessions
or worried about ways of the world with obsession
my mind is free to be me
while others slaved to be someone they are not
ive been judged and fought for being different
my way of life feels right to me
others tell me stuff i dont care to see
believe in yourself not what others believe you to be
you have the spirit others dont care to hear it
why worry what they have to say
talk about a waste of the day
free spirits roam go where others dare not imagine
the freedom to make the world is alright

That moment you know it's wrong and try to make it right
The fight that can make or break your world
The struggle within deep the fear of hurt equals pain
Took its toll no going back not holding on
Focused on the future start a new chapter once it ends
Never the same even if you have it your all
Somethings come and go without reason
Life can change come and go like the seasons
Dream big empty emotions turn nothing into something more

Life of glory never gets boring
Be a champ never settle for less
Arms raise praise
Wonderful feelings
Your hard work finally paid off
Things pick up take off
Transform to greatness
No more feeling deformed
I'm going to invest
Lose gracefully not protest
Win soak it in thick and thin break out
Time running out gases but not ending this way
Push through the pain
See faces lost haunt you with doubt
Like stone not giving out or goon to crumble

Working on a few projects asking all the right question so an idea can grow.
Collaberating with others has taught me and helped me get a visual.
If everyone agrees and on the same page we can be way more productive.
Developing more as a writer, I don't write sci fi but grown open to the idea.

Writing a wedding speech
Ive seen engagements been to many wedding
Some end well others end in divorce
Need to say speak the right words
Rejected engagement once encountered
On the opposing side true love gets through tough times thick and thin
I see a bride wearing white
Men wearing suits being supportive
Families unit showing love
This hallmark moment you'll treasure
Don't know what to say yet it's scattered in the mind

From our 1st kiss to our last date
Everything reminds me of you
I wanted to be your number one not one of many
Remember seeing the passion in your eyes
As time passed that love turned to hate
All the hurt made everything fade away
Reminded of the good times and wish you stayed with me
Bad times burned the good away
From friends to strangers
Eyes tell a stories sad or mad that's how others read it

Ride alone into the distant
Resistances leads to loneliness
Not hurting anyone
Not trying to get hurt
Get to know a person learn to trust
One light stand is lust
Open up but blocked out
Shut them out anxious to get in
Share yourself become true
Unite as one don't rush
It's over once you start lying
Make it work keep trying
Broken trust communication is the key
Aim for the best not a protest

She's that bad idea that comes up
The one you regret but like it or not
She's left an imprint on my heart
She left memories in my mind
It's hard to find another and replace
You can't always chase what the heart want
From one path to another the environment changes
There are things you like and hate
Somethings are a give and take
You don't lose faith believe its real when it was fake
The day you let go from holding on to find there's nothing left or there to catch the crashing heart
Broken hearts flowing tears trust is gone hatred strong
The heart want to be pure and fir give
Don't torture yourself make it hard to live
Move on and with time away the heart will heal
Beat with out struggle find true love and cuddle
Eyes of beauty smiles of completion souls unite
One day things will feel and go right
New experiences new place new ppl to see smiles on the couples faces

I deleted her number its my way of officially letting go
Ive never been good in relationships but some people go through them like socks
All I did was fall in love now things are over
Ive been holding back but not waiting around anymore
I fear starting over and you decide to come back giving me options with tough choices to make
I have no reason to be mad so I went on with my life
Thinking about this opportunity to do what my soul cries for
Using my lyrics