A letter to be set free
Another plead to be me
Tired of living up
To others standards
Thankful for my car that works
Not about money or status
Take pride in all efforts with work
While some do nothing collecting pay
Never cared to be in drama
So many two faced beings
Fake to one another's face
While talking about each other
Always kept out looking in
Made the most of everything
Know what its like to not have a job

Always protecting others
While they are quick to sacrifice
A friendship telling lies cold shoulder
Being two face over some lush
Said straight up to their face
All that talk behind this back
Came back around now in denial
Had your back backed you up
Now you're knifing mine
Trusted hard got betrayed
Don't want to hear it so ashamed
Disgusted can't be in the same room
Can't breathe the same air
Called you a friend seen you like fam
Blew up in this face so much regret
Hit hard and deep heard a loud BAM
Friends come and go like the season
Some with out reason wished they'd stay
Learned to let go not get attached
Hard to get emotionally invested
Detached from everyone lost in words
This notebook is a true friend
Just listens without criticism
Able to feel safe with thought
Tell secrets share feelings
And know they won't be used against

Played the hand dealt
Still in the game
Chips are low
Hard to take a risk
Afraid to lose it all
Another chance
Might be the last
Feeling stuck Grid lock
Hard to breathe
Had it all going well
Now it feels like
It's being taken away
Wide awake feeling anxiety
Soon will crash with depression
Trying to make it
Through these tough time
Can't always win but giving it all
Taking the lesson with the loss
Gave it all gave everything
Came up short feeling cheated

A minimalist with people
Try too hard things go wrong
Made an effort blew up hard
Love too much people run away
Not showing love complicated people stay
More people mad than happy
Not the agenda feeling the judgement
Feeling out of place and discomfort
Just wanted to belong fit in
Always left out or out looking in
This heart means well
Even when treated unfair
Saying sorry is never enough
Not sure how to make the wrong right
Cozy with a pen and pad writing it out
A late night fix to ease the hurt

Hard to love
It goes away
Or taken
A hole in the heart
Use to feel while
Now feeling incomplete
Hard to fill the void
Watching others change
Not sure how to feel
Mistaken identity left confused

Always some kind of road block
Another detour to get there
Able to focus without distractions
What if getting the girl worked
Get the job on the first time around
Worked so hard burned out
Don't want it anyone just drifting
Want more stuck with less
Didn't want to settle
Working with what's given
Made the most of things
Learned to be humble
Made the most of things

So much change
Have no say or control
Feeling frustrated
Things went well
Now are ending
Mixed emotions
So close yet so far
What does it mean
Took it in
Couldn't get enough
Wanted to embrace
Got to close it went away
Kept a distance
Eventually stray away
Cared too much or not enough
It always made things tough

The memories fade
Able to live life
Enjoy the moment
Not easily distracted
Sober living staying away
Avoiding temptation
Making others laugh
Sharing a smile
Focused on the new
Forgetting about the old
Letting the soul shine and glow

Too many people talking
Should be listening to the voice within
Made sacrifices for the wrong people
Made time got left hanging
Asked to meet half way
Ended up going all the way
One sided an arrangement for two
Made time for others what a waste
Got back on routine
Feeling better about branching out
Wore a heart on the sleeve
Too much hurt expected too much
Gave it all not expecting anything
Can't rely on anyone
Learn all the skills possible
Tired of waiting on others to be denied
Tired of waiting on others
Over being set up to fail
Never settle for less prevail

She said she had my back
Turns out she was the first one to go
All the lies that kept coming
Not ready to be in a relationship
A week later she was with someone new
Got placed in the friend zone then forgotten
She would get mad when you don't answer
Now she rejects calls not responding
Sent a text now she hates texting
Cut off communication can't even talk
When in the same room it all went sour

Always stayed humble
Know what it's like to share clothes
Being the oldest and sacrifice
A nice home is great
Don't make you a better person
Much respect for the hard work
How you treat others says more
Been around tough crowds
Beat up for caring too much
Trying to make a difference
Made fun of still smiling
Learned to be thankful
Around ungrateful people
Who had it all spreading misery
Thankful to be working earning it
Nothing is given everything is earned
Keep working to maintain
Passing and sharing good vibes

Under the big tree mid-day
In front of the house
Enjoying the peaceful day
Reading a book on my favorite artist
A cool breeze in the shade
Good to be out of the house
The world has changed over time
Adjusting cant remain the same
Adapting get through unscathed

Staring at a blank page
Dk what to say
Or what to write
Always on the mind
The right pen to fill the word
Find the feelings within

Not about politics
Don't care about labels
Not trying to be like anyone else
Might share common interests
We are not the same or a like
Old school with things
Respect my elders don't talk back
Stand for the flag respect the flag
Praying believe in God walk with faith
Follow rules don't make trouble
Times have changed getting older
Trying to understand the new ways
They don't make sense don't always agree
Not impose on others

Not sure how to feel
But always thinking
Coped with these thoughts
Somethings need to be said
Set the record straight speak out
Doesn't always matter mean anything
Only time will tell about life
No longer the wild child anymore
From player to getting played
Seeking truth in a room of lies
Open to change always judged
Passing through no reason to stay
Thinking hard not afraid ask

Sharing old stories
Lost in memories
Parts of life
That caused growth
Another way of living
Felt like much more
Now it's passed
It doesn't matter
Onto the next
Way more selective
Over trusting was a mistake

Don't like to feel this way
Not about acting this way
Forgiven with faith and grace
The way of the world market
People won't forgive or forget
Sorry isn't enough treated different
Begged to be forgiven not fair
Had to cut ties and stay away
Dk how to make it right
Died inside tore this heart open
Broken to help make the wrong right
Breaking myself over you
Values your friendshipl
Your tender heart
So you could be a whole

Never want to feel that way again
Put myself in that situation
Trying to be a better friend
Guard down not so defensive
Trying to understand others
Always misunderstood
Dk how to react to others
Outbursts or remarks
Shutting down to be liked
Being quiet to be accepted
Don't like the feeling
Can't be myself feeling pressured
hide in this head to be safe
Crammed in a box trying to escape
Who others made me out to be
Lies that are not true
Focused on work can't get close
Always impersonal can't get attached

Staring at a blank page trying to create
Wanting to draw out these ideas
A wild imagination doing other stuff
Seeing it vividly before these eyes
Trying to recreate on the page
Draw it holding a pencil
A blank mind set with art
Staring at a blank canvas
Able to write for hours
Hard to shade for dimensions
Give it texture to pop off the page
Story board comes to live while writing
Drawing for fun one liner comics
Hoping to make others laugh
Brighten someone's day with humor

As age sets in not the same
Seeing the next generation
Come into play some are accepting
Others denying setting their own trends
With times start their life ready or not
Struggle to figure it out from life lessons
People hold the past against the new

Feeling bad for the things done
Living in regret for things
Should've asked her out
The thought of no
Or her seeing you differently
In a new light not the same anymore
Not trying to rush see
If it can be much more
Get to know a person not just physical
Be able to open up trust another being
With these emotions and feeling
That could be over the top for caring
Trying to do right by your side
Stop focusing on one problem
Be thankful for good all the blessings

A new mindset
Can't hold onto the past
Like a trophy on a shelf
An old accomplishment
Time to pursue new glory
Find new ways to enjoy life
Love life to the fullest
Holding back doesn't help
Thinking too much
Doesn't change anything
Sequences and scenarios in mind
Where your at doesn't always have
What you seek
Easy to focus on writing

Learning to focus on these needs
On this dream that strayed away
Feared failing and rejection
Stopped trying holding back
So close to a degree
A few more credits
Scared it won't be used
Have to work to pay bills
Never a consistent schedule
Lacking discipline with life decisions
Need to find balance for education
Hate being broke financial
Make time for health mostly diet
Always starting stuff
But struggle to finish
Would rather be prepared
Than fail struggle to get by

See you with a bottle
Assuming you started drinking
Around a slob of a cousin
Who doesn't clean up after himself
Get why his baby mama left him
Why his parents kicked him out
Some people are stubborn
But it's on them
Stop blaming everyone
That's why they are alone
With their passive aggressive ways

On the road hauling ***
On the go with music
Favorite band feeling the vibe
Trying to beat the traffic
Bad drivers on the freeway
Being careful insanity everywhere
Trying to make it home safe
Thinking about life
Focused on the road
Driving at night
Bright lights blaring

Wanted it and taunted
Why now feeling neglected
Deprived use to going without
Work could be fun or draining
The people some love you
While use to hate and a hard time
Mindful of this mouth
Usually makes it worse
Trying to stay calm not curse
Always the grunt with no perks
Trying to be happy with bad vibes
Never give in or show emotions
Too strong going numb feeling nothing

Inspired to be more
Family tells you NO
Trying to strip you
Of all that makes you unique
Telling you to be this way
Or do that but not happy
Don't have much but thankful
Traveled seen stuff lived
Stuck being average Joe
Set out to be much more
Life doesn't make sense
Getting lost in writing
Able to feel not seen as less
Show emotions without judgement

Work and back about the hustle
Can't go out staying sober
Everyday is a struggle
Throwing a punch
Doesn't make it right
Talk about things like adults
Treat one another like humans
An insult and yelling
Doesn't mean your right
Everyone wants to be Unique
Why does everyone get lip for it
Respect one another's differences

Looking around
Can't stay down
Too many detours
Never good enough
Even doing extra
Trying not to flirt
End up hurt
Avoid eye contact
Too deep with emotions
Hiding feelings hard to trust
A mindful mouth
Silent with others
Loud thoughts brewing
Stirring within the soul
A broken heart finds strength
Burnt out body heals
Seeking peace finding closure
Time alone time to grow

Praying for normal
Change occurs everyday
Over the years over come fears
But things change over time
Never going to be the same again
Friendships full of broken trust
Relationships tarnished over conflict
Both right too proud to confess
Would rather fight than forgive
Apologies don't matter due to actions
One is sorry the other still talking bad
The other wont forgive the betrayal
Holding a grudge once a family
Now strangers with a past
No one made effort to keep it alive
Egos let it die than make it right

Rewiring the mind
Learned bad habits
Reprogram the mind
Plugged in no connection
Unplugged to reconnect
Learning to speak up
Taking on others burdens
Dropped the dead weight
Love can't be replaced with hate

Haven't had a good friend who's chill
Some always putting on an act
While others pretend
To be someone they are not
A friend where you can open up
Without being judged or criticized
They can do the same
Instead of it being used against you
Some who stands up for you
Has your back times have changed
Loyalty and noble companions
Are no more hard to trust
So many fakes and phonies
Can't connect or get close to anyone

Broken bones heal pain fades with time
Injuries felt on cold days flexibility limited
Pushing the body beyond the limits
Struggle to hang mentally focused
The sport evolved from skill to many
Stretching and warm up are valued
All about form and technique
Focused on all the basics
Prepared mentally to overcome

Working hard to pay bills
Heart beats to the Blues
A heart fueled by soul
Negativity soul *******
Positive mindset consumed
By what "if" possibilities
See it happen in the mind
Comeback to reality day dreaming
Praying for the result so close
Another outcome wasn't expecting
Still hustling working for it
Losing control a wild mouth
Stay calm and collected

Grew up hood
Means be down for yours
So many talk hard
But don't back it up
Never cared to drink
Always speak up sober
Say what you think
Mean what you say
All the instigating
Hiding in the back
So much hating
For being different