Broke free onto a new job a new chapter fresh beginnings.
Leaving the job you have and job that's loved working at two locations. Now a permanent full time not having to worry about covering or missing one job to fill the void at the other. One job one location one area instead 2 regular or 2 because you cover for those who miss. Well rounded able to adapt and adjust.

He failed at his first relationship
Loving a female friend
Who didn't love him back
His heart was crushed
Over protective of the heart
Moving onto the next
Not sure how to act
Or who to be with her
He just wanted a healthy relationship
To be himself is all he knew
He never cheated accused of it
Lots of them projecting toxic traits
On him to clear their guilty conscience

He loved her but it was over. She didn't believe in his dream. She told him he wasn't good enough it tore him up from the inside out. The anger didn't resonate with him. He did what he loved while everyone else gave up on their dreams.
He was pursuing it behind the scenes working his craft. Getting better educating himself trying to apply what was being learned to better his situation. His family didn't get or understand him since he didn't listen to NO or like being told that he couldn't do it. Giving his all even though it wasn't good enough staying positive working it from all angles and directions eventually it would work out fall into place.
He wanted to write stand up and sitcoms tell his story. He took those steps shared with friends and did his podcast that gave him a voice. He broke free of his family they called him delusional and kept him out for being single and not having a family. He was smart didn't want to do that with just anyone.

The internal struggle is real
Thoughts that make sense
Some eat you up internally
Forgiving yourself praying
Leaving it at the cross
Not losing faith
Saved by God's grace
In the name of Jesus
Amen

Buying the next round for all
Loved for the night
Will wake up broken
No other moments of communication
Once last call is made
Rushing for the next drink
The tab is closed out intoxicated
Not sure how to get home safe
Low on funds paying for the fun
Realizing it wasn't fun anymore
Alone pondering all the destruction

Talking to an older a friend about their youth for the a better and simpler time. I could see them smile their eyes light up talking about those times that made them shine. When life was fun appreciation for those moments.

He blocked out the haters they told him NO it made him want it more. He was obsessed eyes locked on his goals his success so many detours he didn't lose faith eventually he got there and was thankful. It didn't happen right away when it did he was grateful never looked back he just sees the people who doubted him and proving them wrong. Shutting down those that mocked him after being injured and depressed anxious to get back on the mats. Being harassed for missing practice because he had to work. Taunted by people that had it given to them while he had to work for his way. Never fit in or cared for gym politics but one who focused on the technique and drills.

They'll hate you for speaking up he thought about the consequences. Just because you bully everyone doesn't mean you are right. Mind your business stop telling people how to live their life.
No one owe you or has to explain themselves to you. This argument plays out in the mind but the words won't come out. Makes sure you are right before you talk about anyone.
What hurts most is the people you valued and respect; don't see or treat you the same.
He was tired of the lies when he was honest. He seen them as an equal and they want nothing to do with him. They try to make him feel bad but he's been disappointed for year.
They like to get a reaction of people he learned to not give in show any feelings or emotions.
If others seen him overreact they'd assume he was making a scene or had the problem. Being provoked by them was a waste of time he'd walk away. They expected him to change and they made no effort to treat others right.

His love grew for her
As she became distant
He knew something was wrong
She didn't look or feel the same
Her vibe changed from charged
To numb avoiding eye contact
He didn't know what the problem was
Or how to fix it make it right
An obsession becoming a distraction

She always told him
Pursue your dreams
He didn't always
Believe in himself
He got distracted by work
He never got hired
Didn't want to give up
On his dreams still writing
They met at the community college
They were accepting of one another
She was his friend
Sad when she moved away
She'd come visit him
They hung out caught up

From the heart feeling, and seeing the truth. Moments in time lost in the transition writing takes the stress away. A sweet escape from the reality that doesn't coordinate with these emotions. Dealing with the internal struggle moments that passed. wasn't living in the moment had no clue what was going on. Mind missing loved ones that are going some have passed till we meet again. While other times women wedge and bad communication misunderstanding one another holding a grudge. Divided never going to be friends or reunited.

The last time we hung out
She needed a ride home from school
Talking to one another
Getting to know each other
She was fresh out
Of a called off engagement
She talked about not being serious
Later would tell everyone things
We're serious usually private about things
Eventually she would find someone
Who would be patient and tolerant
People come and go hard to get attached
Some get intimate but not commitment
Others do everything possible but no labels
Thinking about dating now a days
It's like jumping into
A shallow puddle of mud

Sleep deprived mentally over it
Physically pushing through
Giving it all even when exhausted
From wild child to responsible adult
Remembering lost youth of moments
Wondering why it ended so quick
Treasured in the heart escape reality
Full of memories some good
Most ended bad with no say
No reason just a change in the seasons

Romance was intoxicating
Lust mistaken for love
Blinded to the world
Not able to hear only her voice
Didn't believe the rumors
So many red flags still in denial
Lost in those eyes seeking hope
Wanting more couldn't get enough
Close yet so far couldn't comprehend
Willing to lose it all sacrifice for her
She'd never open up or true
Closed up closed off love on a timer

The idea of new people
Some support your ideas
Most are against your way of life
Always happy for others
Never get the same vibe in return
Back them up the heavy burned
This heart loves taking the bad
Praying for things to change
For the better not one to settle
Always come up short not discouraged
Seeking answers so many questions

Praying for family not ready to let go
Sorry feels like time is running out
Staying strong feeling vulnerable
Wanting to take it not them
Praying to be saved
Living in fear dk what's real
Lies are the truth fully believe
The truth made out to be a lie
So many ignored and excuses
Part of getting older more white hairs
Body doesn't heal the same
Taking it easy pushing through
Slowing down physically
Mentally pushing through