This is stupid stop holding a grudge
Why we don't talk anymore
Use to be best friends for year
But it came to an end holding back tears
A relationship over our friendship
She lied and she cheated taking all the blame
Sorry you're angry so much pain
From the same circle to separate crowds
Both doing dumb stuff over time
Negativity doesn't make it right
Told you to your face out of respect
Talking behind this back **** disrespect
Felt the knife of betrayal sharp and deep

Use to be excited about life
Waking up to work
From fun to a routine
Hiding emotions not get hurt
Being genuine being ****** dry
Fake friends fade away
Seeing through the act
Isolated staying away
Writing a safety net

Writing everyday not sure anymore
What to do with it who will benefit
Thought there was an audience
Doing it to help pass the time
Sometimes a moment replayed
A rewind to the moment trying to repeat
Always wanted to get personal and deep
No one cares or feels the same
Unless you're doing favors or taking crap
Tried to connect feeling more disconnected
Sent away even though this heart wants to stay
The mind said ***** it be better
Find yourself be better somewhere else
One day make great money for the future
Be able to own a house achieve another goal
Should be living in the moment living for now

Always been a friend there through the bad
Appreciate the good times after a while
It was just bad all that negativity
Complaints from a bitter mouth
A fierce tongue hurting everyone
Thinking no one cared pushing everyone away
Everyone gave you space still mad at the world
Not trying to change anyone can't stay the same
Break ups are hard takes time to cope deal with
Heart breaks are never easy hard to tell the heart
Love is not a switch it doesn't turn off right away
Friends miss the old you but accept the new
Don't cut off friendship for a relationship
It's all about balance once it tips the scales
It's hard to get back on track all is lost
Willing to sacrifice to get it back to normal
This will never be the same don't hold onto pain

These thoughts flirting with the past
All the would haves that could have been
An idea or moment creating stories
Been putting it out there from the heart
Use to care what others think
So many think or had the worse opinion
Can't fix or change their opinion
Still treating you the same best to move on
They will never feel good about you
Treat you like an equal or like you matter
Not one to hold a grudge be stay away
Find my own path be on my way
Making it easier to leave then stay

Thoughts are cluttering good vibes
Stress building up venting with writing
Staying home quarantine stay safe
Outside wearing a mask to hide emotions
Thinking of a plan starting over
Change for the outside be prepared
Hate letting others down
They keep setting themselves up
Set up to fail when times are bad
You are the first one they call
When things are well all of a sudden
No where to be found must be nice
Another drunk call or text with more drama
Feeling insulted like an after thought
Not good enough to be included regularly

She said she had my back
Turns out she was the first one to go
All the lies that kept coming
Not ready to be in a relationship
A week later she was with someone new
Got placed in the friend zone then forgotten
She would get mad when you don't answer
Now she rejects calls not responding
Sent a text now she hates texting
Cut off communication can't even talk
When in the same room it all went sour

Inspired to be more
Family tells you NO
Trying to strip you
Of all that makes you unique
Telling you to be this way
Or do that but not happy
Don't have much but thankful
Traveled seen stuff lived
Stuck being average Joe
Set out to be much more
Life doesn't make sense
Getting lost in writing
Able to feel not seen as less
Show emotions without judgement

Part of the world
Working to belong
Won't be kept out
Denied the dream
Pushed through
Can't focus on anything
Became an obsession
Can't see Beyond it
Or want anything else

Sleep all day
Up all night
So many ideas
Love to write
Wild imagination
On the go
Tried to draw
Mind goes blank
Staring at a plain page
Can't sleep begin to pray
Things would be normal
Talking to myself to fall a sleep
Use to pretend love was near
Heard a noise feeling fear
Day or night room feels the same
Would shed a tear show emotion
Able to escape this loneliness
Pride protecting the heart
Mind overwhelmed missing others
Thought of calling not answer
The phone works two ways
Sent a text no response
Wondering if all is well or okay
So many ways to communicate
Yet no one can connect
Begged for forgiveness
Never going to be forgiven
Things are not the same
Had to stay away to avoid the pain
A one time mistake not a life sentence
Sober and clean doesn't mean anything
Did it to help our friendship
Now doing it to be better find strength
Move away to heal gave up on a dream
Starting over finding another path another way

Facing the fears
Can't hide or run
Taking on those challenges
Growing no longer afraid
Overcome the fear of life
Moving onto new
Only if she knew
Woke up strong
With no clue

With everything going on
Not sure what to say
How to make it better
Watch from a distance
Everything will work out
Fall into place adapting to change
Adjusting others a making waves
Went on defense since others offend
Use to be offense talking the truth
Seen as ruthless not in over involved
Use to go out prefer to stay home
And write all day and night feels right
Getting back in the groove
Letting it flow feel all the stress
Shrinking not let it grow
Never about race be a good person
Treat others right says alot about you
It's a two way street with respect
No respect for one another
Becomes a road block detour
Would rather go around
Instead of stopped

Around people that slandered your name
Forgiven because they are family
Others are usually ignored not a time wasted
Never called unless a favor is needed
Always on deck waiting to be included
Not always the favorite or like
Written off till doing more than most
Made the scapegoat had to step away
Cleaned up not the same person
Bad memories others keep bringing up

Looking around
Can't stay down
Too many detours
Never good enough
Even doing extra
Trying not to flirt
End up hurt
Avoid eye contact
Too deep with emotions
Hiding feelings hard to trust
A mindful mouth
Silent with others
Loud thoughts brewing
Stirring within the soul
A broken heart finds strength
Burnt out body heals
Seeking peace finding closure
Time alone time to grow

A minimalist with people
Try too hard things go wrong
Made an effort blew up hard
Love too much people run away
Not showing love complicated people stay
More people mad than happy
Not the agenda feeling the judgement
Feeling out of place and discomfort
Just wanted to belong fit in
Always left out or out looking in
This heart means well
Even when treated unfair
Saying sorry is never enough
Not sure how to make the wrong right
Cozy with a pen and pad writing it out
A late night fix to ease the hurt

Some days are great
Others fueled by irritation
Easily annoyed by everything
Wanting to say something
Not trying to overreact
Crazy actions in the back of the mind
Scenarios hyped up and extreme
Trying to stay civil and calm
Lost so much burnt out
Holding onto the little earned
Thankful to be placed
Doing something contributing
Bouncing frustration unattended
Could've started beef left the bad guy
Wants to speak up tired of the lies
Tired of pretending it didn't happen

Thick skin for names
Someone's always talking
Trying to bring you down
It cames easy and natural
Rising up open to grow
So much to learn dk it all
Open minded to change
Can't stay still on the go
Too many bringing it down
Always a gain with some pain
Still striving and thriving through

Never been good with title
Always stuck in the transition
Once it's started don't like it to end
Able to make it work once it's finish
Walk away let it resonate
Comeback later love to create
Work on other projects
Thoughts that haven't been expressed
Feelings explored understood
Emotions balanced out after a while

He thought what to say in his mind
When he attempted to speak
Nothing came out his voice went mute
His thoughts got the best of him
Never played out accordingly
The plan never unfolded pleasantly
The sequence was lost in transition
He was the good guy that got hurt
Made out to be the bad guy
Due to his moral code
He wore his heart on his sleeve
He knew his worth in the world
While others with twisted views
Perceived differently by others
Multiple false accusations

Don't assume just ask
Different times from the past
Mind racing so fast
Staring out in the distance
So much resistance
Seen some crazy stuff
Too much to process
Made tough had it rough
Bounce back not overreact
Another road block in the way
Detour taking longer to get there
All in everyone flakes left alone

Learned to grow from mistakes
Found outlets from self destruction
Made decisions without influence
Being hurt made changes
Made the most with down time
Practice being better with faults
Felt weak focused on being strong
Calm not overreacting
Center on what matter most
Collected composure a shattered ego
Dealing with a harsh reality

Anti establishment from day one
Wanting to belong always kept out
In denial about being accepted
Some days feel okay but a struggle
While others are off the hinge
Not sure where to begin deep in thought
Part of the unit usually dealing with conflict
Both in the wrong opposing one another
Head strong about being right

Riding fast scared to fall
On the board riding
Feeling free from it all
The fear of rolling an ankle
Not able to brake well
Jumping off the board
The wind feels great
Never too old for a rush
The sound of the wheels
Catching speed rolling along
One shoe chewed up from kicking
Feeling unbalanced trying to stand level
Carry an extra pair of shoes
In a backpack with essentials
Saves money more efficient
Eco friendly being safe

So many made up rules
Insults masked by humor
Silenced for having an opinion
Ignored asking a question
Opened eyes seen bad actions
While others turn a blind eye
The dream so real in the mind
Escaping the nightmare reality
Transitional journey plays out
Emotional waves settles
Levels out over time
Once felt wrong
Count the blessings
Learned from the life lesson

The sound of rain in the distance
Soothing and comforting
While drinking hot chocolate
Reading a book enjoying the day
Escape reality valuing ones company
Personal time all alone
Appreciating personal growth
Not give into social convention

Sleep patterns all jacked up
Up all night sleep all day
Not trying to get burned up
The heat wave draining
Running out of stuff to write
Comes more natural at night
About to start another notebook
70 or more bone yard collection
Not sure what to do with it all
These thoughts so deep from within
Raw emotions unexpressed
But written down sharing this talent

Respect was earned not demanded
Nothing is given for free
Put in time and things worked out
A loud mouth with insecurity
Doesn't make things right
Sad to see the corruption
Rewarding the lazy with a promotion
Neglecting the hard working
Treating them unworthy
Making them do the ***** work
While stealing all the glory

Always looking in the mirror
Asking what happened
Where did it go wrong
So many unresolved issues
Thought they matter
After analyzing them
A waste of time one sided argument
Found peace and closure
Told this side and apologized
Never got a response from the other
Better off without can't wait around
Hold their spot when they gave up mine

Expecting them to go the distance
Finish the race one by one
Flaking and falling off
Going the distances trying finish
Feeling beat up over time
Wear and tear feeling the pain
Smiling feeling hollow inside
Not trying to run or hide
Barely getting by trying to survive

Reaching out
Don't always know
How to make the wrong right
The words one come out
Thought of this moment
Played in the back of the mind
Trying not to hurt others
Trying not to get hurt
Protecting this heart
This mouth a weapon
Silence can be empowering

Social on the podcast
Sharing an opinion
With out judgement criticisms
Same with writing
Pushed it out of this system
Not arguing with others
Doing ones own thing
So many detours in the way
Multiple road blocks
Bounce back from mistakes
Many friends became foes