From inside to outside
Like a stray wandering
Trying to find away
Wanted by some
Rejected by most
Not meant to fix in
Always looking in
Once inside wanted out
Better alone and free
Than restraint limited
Can't stay settling for less
Always on the go
That's what's best

She always told him
Pursue your dreams
He didn't always
Believe in himself
He got distracted by work
He never got hired
Didn't want to give up
On his dreams still writing
They met at the community college
They were accepting of one another
She was his friend
Sad when she moved away
She'd come visit him
They hung out caught up

Love for family
Always open to living life
Accepting of their flaws
Dk why they are quick to judge
Most of all hold a grudge
Would like to be united
Pride and egos has everyone divided
Easier to stay away from it all
Don't agree with their way
Love them unconditionally
All I can do is pray

Writing has been my world
Talking about encounters
And experiences over a life time
Some get a guilty conscience
Not talking about them
What was felt or going on
Sometimes scenarios play out
Live and learn the lessons
How it played out before these eyes
What was heard through these ears
Others trying to edit the truth
Being passive over being exposed

Reflecting on his life
A late bloomer grew up overtime
The Soul shined with a brightest glow
Heart that was genuine and true
Ready to love again start a new
*** complicates things
Get to know a person first
Be with someone who likes you for you
Not trying to change you lose yourself
Find the one to open your heart with
Years of being with the wrong person
Be yourself don't hide who you are
Without feeling like you did wrong
Guilted for sharing emotions
Having them used against you

The voice went silent
Observed took in the scene
Tried to make sense of it all
Thinking about life
Appreciating the struggle
Growth from the turn of events
Personal development individualism
Spiritual growth a heart filled with light
A cheater playing the victim full of lies
A liar trying to change the truth
Manipulator playing dumb
Trying to pounce take advantage
Selfish pretending to care
In it for the love all pain and shame

He was over his phone no one called unless they needed something. He didn't care for texting anymore people got bold with messages but would never say it to his face.
All the frustration dealing with others it ****** he had to be watered down. Tired of being quiet and smiling because others had their unsatisfied egos that needed to be stroked.
He didn't have the time or energy to make people who made him miserable happy. He bit his tongue because he knew opening his mouth would make things worse.
He didn't talk or think about those people showed no feelings or emotions focused on his life and work.   Departing due to conflict of interest living life his way with others influence. He took their loathing remarks into consideration. He had changed so much over the years now others expected him to be someone else some false persona he couldn't live up to. He knew his worth while he bounced back from struggle setback and failure.

On the mats tired and sore
Crazy enough to comeback for more
Learning to take down shoot for legs
A fraid to catch a knee to the face
Trying not to injure others
Staying positive rolling to learn
With an aggressive teammate
Help them and they'll help you grow
Being able to hang in action get a reaction
Taking pieces put them together like legos
Gi is a resource tool using the lapel
Restrain an opponent extra grips
Cup and grasp with no Gi
Frame up hold a position to gain points

He loved her but it was over. She didn't believe in his dream. She told him he wasn't good enough it tore him up from the inside out. The anger didn't resonate with him. He did what he loved while everyone else gave up on their dreams.
He was pursuing it behind the scenes working his craft. Getting better educating himself trying to apply what was being learned to better his situation. His family didn't get or understand him since he didn't listen to NO or like being told that he couldn't do it. Giving his all even though it wasn't good enough staying positive working it from all angles and directions eventually it would work out fall into place.
He wanted to write stand up and sitcoms tell his story. He took those steps shared with friends and did his podcast that gave him a voice. He broke free of his family they called him delusional and kept him out for being single and not having a family. He was smart didn't want to do that with just anyone.

She won't admit she's wrong
She got caught be held accountable
Trying to slip out flip and place blame
Terrorizing others with her bad behavior
Praying God protects those who did right
He trusted her, She broke his trust
Trying to tell him he's over reacting
Laughing thinking her toxic behavior is cute
That's why no one bothers with you anymore
Playing others in the end you played yourself
People dump their bad vibes on you
Rob your peace because misery needs company
In public everyone sees through your act
That's why you hide run from the truth
All the things you complain about
You did it to yourself making others insecure

A smile that's genuine
Not faking it or pretending
Always thankful for the blessings
Stopped expecting the worse
Quit being set up to fail
Learned to love ones self
Trust your heart keep it safe
Listen to those gut feelings
Learned to be alone
Not rely on others to please you
Or depend on them to make you happy

On the road at the light
About to turn on the green
Another driver runs the red light
Always cautious of others
Protecting family is important
Took time to slow down
Tired of being rushed feeling behind
Hard to enjoy life always on the go
Appreciate the finer things
Laugh with loved ones
Smile over great people
Who appreciate your presence
Get lost in others not just yourself
Near death possibly injury
Makes it easy to focus on good
Instead of accepting the bad
Always chasing the dream
Such a great vision in the mind
Never turns out accordingly
The heart feels believes it will be real

He watched his brother be buried part of him went in the grave.
He didn't trust anyone he wanted justice
Who executes another being in cold blood
More bad than good at that moment
Hard to trust anyone his failed relationship
Brought out the hatred trust issues he no longer wanted to be that person anymore
He stopped caring what others said or thought since he had his own agendas
All those distractions he stopped empowering them. The loud noise went mute white noise it didn't matter anymore.

In shape worked out hard
Asked what drugs are you on
Dressed nice has some style
Took pride in appearance
Seen as gay or too pretty
Backed up the wrong people
Quickly got double crossed
Spread good vibes
While taking the bad
Hard to love yourself
When everyone is miserable
Cheered people up to feel better
Bad attitudes infecting everyone
Moods ruin the day for others
Bring everything down for caring
Liked to be around people
Now isolated from toxic vibes
Seen others be self-destructive
Hard to watch and take it all in
Would rather stay away disappear
Tried to be there for it all
More bad than good can't help
Some set in their ways not listening
Not open to change living in old pain
Getting hurt needed to get away

Learning to be a parent is hard
A 25 man child with a kid
Who slips out ditching responsibility
A child cant be raised on tv
Not the best role model
But setting examples
Watching cartoons
While doing arts and crafts
Still learning there's more to life than yourself