Don't like being told what to do
Always open to learn grow and listen
Use to speak without thinking
Asking does it matter need to be said
Talking with a good friend
Its rare now a days
Id rather be criticized to my face
Than hear someone said behind my back
Can't trust anyone or open up
Anything said will be twisted
Used against you taken outta context
So many unique attitudes and behaviors

When a family member passes
You will miss them with all your heart
Remember the good times
They all taught you something
Helped you grow as a child
Never thought it would happen
So soon thank you for playing a role
Well meet again in heaven once again
Reunited with one another
For all eternity

The idea of new people
Some support your ideas
Most are against your way of life
Always happy for others
Never get the same vibe in return
Back them up the heavy burned
This heart loves taking the bad
Praying for things to change
For the better not one to settle
Always come up short not discouraged
Seeking answers so many questions

From inside to outside
Like a stray wandering
Trying to find away
Wanted by some
Rejected by most
Not meant to fix in
Always looking in
Once inside wanted out
Better alone and free
Than restraint limited
Can't stay settling for less
Always on the go
That's what's best

Romance was intoxicating
Lust mistaken for love
Blinded to the world
Not able to hear only her voice
Didn't believe the rumors
So many red flags still in denial
Lost in those eyes seeking hope
Wanting more couldn't get enough
Close yet so far couldn't comprehend
Willing to lose it all sacrifice for her
She'd never open up or true
Closed up closed off love on a timer

Buying the next round for all
Loved for the night
Will wake up broken
No other moments of communication
Once last call is made
Rushing for the next drink
The tab is closed out intoxicated
Not sure how to get home safe
Low on funds paying for the fun
Realizing it wasn't fun anymore
Alone pondering all the destruction

Not arguing just focused on work
Don't care for drama
Not looking for trouble
Doing as much aa possible
The assignment is about to end
Things will get better
Riding out the tough dark times
Made the most of what's given
Met new people and new crowds
Don't always fit in or belong
Just glad to be involved part of something

In shape worked out hard
Asked what drugs are you on
Dressed nice has some style
Took pride in appearance
Seen as gay or too pretty
Backed up the wrong people
Quickly got double crossed
Spread good vibes
While taking the bad
Hard to love yourself
When everyone is miserable
Cheered people up to feel better
Bad attitudes infecting everyone
Moods ruin the day for others
Bring everything down for caring
Liked to be around people
Now isolated from toxic vibes
Seen others be self-destructive
Hard to watch and take it all in
Would rather stay away disappear
Tried to be there for it all
More bad than good can't help
Some set in their ways not listening
Not open to change living in old pain
Getting hurt needed to get away

He failed at his first relationship
Loving a female friend
Who didn't love him back
His heart was crushed
Over protective of the heart
Moving onto the next
Not sure how to act
Or who to be with her
He just wanted a healthy relationship
To be himself is all he knew
He never cheated accused of it
Lots of them projecting toxic traits
On him to clear their guilty conscience

Writing has been my world
Talking about encounters
And experiences over a life time
Some get a guilty conscience
Not talking about them
What was felt or going on
Sometimes scenarios play out
Live and learn the lessons
How it played out before these eyes
What was heard through these ears
Others trying to edit the truth
Being passive over being exposed

Picking fights in my mind
Fake scenarios playing out
What if this happened
I could say that what is the reaction
Should say this what's the point
This plays out different from what's happened
When it happens it doesn't play out
******* over a for a promotion
Set backs feel like a demotion

Change is amazing over time
Ran into the alcoholic that's now sober
The player that settled down
That's married originally against it
All of a sudden believes in love
Clean living clarity of mind
A wild ex now a mother
Took the leap of faith
Seen wedding pictures posted
Change of faces new crowds
Don't last forever take it in
Short lived moments lasting forever
Life long memories taken to the heart