Praying for a friend who had a mild stroke. She has children that the family be healed and united.
For his cousin with 3 kids with 3 babies mommas. That he would get his life together and be a provider.
Gave it to God  because he's a man and can't do it alone on his own. Asking to be forgiven having a hard time Forgiving himself.
He forgave others to have peace, most never forgive him. He quick to move on pursuing his dream even though it's on hold because he wants to get his health right first.
He was interested in dating a nurse but sick of being in and out of the hospital. Thought about dating but the way it works now doesn't make sense.
Everyone wants all the perks of a relationship but no commitment. He was old school date for a while make it a relationship hopefully it would lead to marriage and kids making a family.

The building feels like home
It allowed him to grow
Build confidence over time
Learned to trust in his skills
Believe in himself without doubt
Ready for the next level
It never came but now it's here
Not afraid facing fears can't hold back
With stone cold stare not intimidated
Without flinching or backing down
Being consumed by one filling the void
The other the past heart of memories
Can't deny rich history trying to grow
In the middle of manipulation sighing
Want to break free do what's loved
Feels right without outside factor

He went out with family everyone made a fun. All he did was work and home no life outside of that it bugs him how they judged him for trying to live life. He wasn't married or didn't have kids.
He paid his rent and was being responsible even though work bored him. All he did was write on his down time. If he didn't train with his cousin he kept to himself. He loved sports but when the world shutdown. He didn't know what to do. He got lost in his thoughts it drove him insane. He tried to be a better person while everyone got worse with their problems and burdens imposing their frustration on others.

Back to school year of being the oldest
Balancing out work and school
Don't want to fail hard to balance out the two
The lack of a social life felt numb learned to go without
College in the late 30s an older person New look and vibe for life wanting to learn and apply the knowledge
Don't care to learn about racism
Grew up a minority already a disadvantage

It was a cold chilling night, able to hear creatures brewing in the night. The tension so intense the world stood still. The man of the night would come out fight crime. Make the world safe a better place. Protect those being attacked by evil. The moonlight lights the way.
The neighborhood once peace and calm now it's invaded by criminals selling drugs and changing the way of life with their wicked ways. Change is not always for the better. The town is crumbling most are whatever drifting from the origins. Good doesn't always win but fight the good fight. So much has changed over night.

That love was forbidden sweetest sins
One taste isn't enough hunger for more
Craving to be desired loved equally
Seeking the other half to be whole
Without that fix inner peace is disturbed
Life has been tough without controversy
Thoughts of new love hard to find
Too tough to feel anything
Rough times hide emotions
Hard to trust after all the betrayal
Aching to be desired with true love
Find the spark to start the fire
A kiss that takes the pain away
Hugs that makes bad memories fade
Empty inside feeling whole once again

The voice in his head said you cant keep up this attitude or live this way anymore. Trying to hold on for dear life when the death grip should be release. Caring that load relieved from the tension. The transition should be embracing new let go of those old burdens. Can't change those outcomes but better for the next time around.

Shared a laugh and a smile
Not trying to be in your way
Stepped aside all I can do is pray
Not going to take the blame
Feel your pain because you chose it
Showed concern got burned hard
My words me nothing why even bother
From friend to foe someone I use to know
Made myself available got left hanging
Doing more productive stuff
Seen as a traitor called a sell out
Wanting a better life by doing the work
Being called entitled earning my share
A narcissistic for not settling for less
Stopped complaining doing what I can
Willing to help out with the time given

Most of this in the mind some days are easy some feel never ending. He tried to do what was right while others didn't work cheat cut corners. He was denied another interview more road blocks. Conflict with family was the worse because he had no problem saying sorry or admitting he was wrong. Family would never see things his way and quick to be mad hold a grudge.
He didn't sit around angry because he was working a job that never gave him the results he desired s so many road blocks and detours in his way blocking his path.  He was holding back writing was an outlet to deflate his ego

Closed his eyes seeing it in his head
Growing thankful for the mentors
Some believe in your skills work ethic
One on your side feeling secure
Others deny your efforts against you
Ignoring the drama working harder
Chasing a dream means everything
Setting goals making them count
Tell your story set the standards high
Breaking through being denied
Trying to survive being kept out

Disappeared for a month wrestled with anger. Dealing with others who cause the frustration. He respected their way of life as they imposed on his. His writing triggering others insecurity leading them to make personal attacks.
He didn't give up on his passion; writing brought him joy. A voice since he didn't have his crowd anymore. The ones he could trust where his feelings and emotions wouldn't be used against him.
He sits in his room listening to music writing out these thoughts and ideas. Able to explore and cope with everything that opposed him. Told the truth so many offended. Doesn't like being lied to not doing it to others.

I published my new episode TT237, please check it out
https://www.podbean.com/ea/pb-aig7d-f0f8e4

He loved his family but didn't want to hear all the arguing. No one got alone everyone spoiled and entitled while he worked hard for his. Always felt excluded when things are going well. But never got any love or support for it.
Things were bad everyone would include him when he didn't care or want to be involved. It wasn't his business because he didn't care. If he tried to be supportive he would be ignored and kept out.
He didn't wait around or rely on people open to learn everything. Focused on work not drama trying to leave things better than how he found them. Took pride in his work when his crew did the bare minimum. He wasn't trying to tale anyone's job but he did raise the bar. His job wasn't hard but dealing with an useless ego and power trip made it ****.
He loved his family but never felt like it got better everyone has their way and not happy. They try to tell him when he already knows or been there. Never seen as an equal while everyone tries to take charge telling people when not one asked or trying fix others lives when they don't have it together.

Fell in love with the curse
Denying feelings made it worse
Hoping she's fix what she broke
Leaving with those pieces
Putting yourself back together
Learned the lesson do better
No going back to what broke you
Aged with the pain fading memories
In the present good vibes remains

Hard to be free when others impose
Be yourself when everyone is fake
How you mad at others for working
Who spend the money that's theirs  
They earn without your say
The stuff you complain about
Doing the same why give them shade
Telling others to do things you never did
All these made up standards
You own a house not people
Some work hard to pay rent to survive
Make a living investing in the future
While piggy back talking down on others
Trying to take charge with devious ways
Dividing the family everyone was united
Stealing from grandma will comeback
Hand in her bank account blaming family
Living outside your means the deceit

He was moving on not looking back trying to live. Instead of hiding, running away. He stood his ground and standing alone taking on the world. His life had so many twists and turns. He had trust issues after his so called best friend got with his high school crush. That would be left open hard to find a friend worthy of the title. The girl he loved was a ****** but he did love her unable to shake and believe the turn of events.
He would work towards his goals always some kind of road block and detour to make his dream a reality. He had an open mind when it came to education but his heart was closer off and on reserved focused trying to get right back on track. He didn't like conflict but always dealt problems but never made them right both never could come to terms or a mutual agreement.

He grew up as an outcast because he wanted to better himself. He never thought he was better than anyone. So many tried to use his flaws against him. He was fat mind worried about body image. Born is the US spoke English still shunned by his own people. Finding reasons to criticize and talk about him.

All he did was mind his business from an open book to private. Holding back hiding who he was so people could leave him alone. Feeling like he might do something wrong or be accused of something that he didn't even do.

Always respectful even to the people that tried to damage his reputation because they weren't where they wanted to be in life. It wasn't his fault or problem. All he wanted was to exist get along without putting up with others bad moods attitudes that would ruin his day.

He had to learn and teach himself since no one wants to play that role anymore. Willing to do the work even if they would discredit him. Working his

They imposed their way he preferred to not be involved anymore. They'll tell him he's wrong but never notice their wrong doing. Over at ******* hours of the night a cousin that's the younger version of his mother. She imposed he way burdened others with an opinion no one asked.
After a while you block out all the talk all the gossip that has nothing to do with you. Feeling under value not appreciated. He always asked why are these terrible people are given more

He got another call for the transplant it was a no go within the guidelines. It ruined his day and he still went to work.
Doing extra he wanted to be a lead, but was behind the scenes. Biting his lip because he was waiting for the surgery. Holding back because he knew he'd be out recovering.
Those calls get him worked up then burnt out when he got the bad news. He'd reflect on his life asking "what he did wrong?" Asking when and "why hasn't it happened yet?"
Writing helped him put life into perspective. Trying to write his story and control his narrative. He couldn't explain or find the words.

Walked up to the receptionist filled out the paperwork. The fish tank making relaxing noises. Need to talk get these looping thoughts out my head break the cycle. Talked to friends but they have problems; that shadow mine, that are more important apparently.
Really bad at expressing myself usually direct and straight up.

Maybe the tone was a factor
Not able to Open up its all new
Sometimes it's admired
Other times causing divide separation
Some writers are critics
While others just write
The grammar critics reasons to talk
Hard to make friend over time
From friends to stranger
Close friend to distant foes
Get too involved and up kept out
Stay out of it its dumped on your lap
Not the same respecting your differences
Stop trying to change or fix when no one asked

Finding peace and closure while writing
Stopped complaining started praying
Making the most of things thankful
Gave it all to God learning to forgive
Learning to be patient focused on health
Want it now not later determined to live
Waiting for a match the right liver
God's time and will have faith
Got lost in the word not the world
Try not to lose hope impatiently waiting
A close call that didn't happen
Overwhelmed with anxiety
Praying for the moment to be in the OR
A new ***** to get rid of the jaundice
Yellow eyes and bad skin dieing inside
Look healthy be able to be normalish
No more pain and suffering hiding it
Being bold strong when scared as hell

He went his own way
Made his own path
They kept him out
Didn't listen or care
How he felt expressed concern
All he did was look out
What he thought left annoyed
No one listened very irritating
Now they are in his area
His space feels violated
So much intrusive vibes
All imposition no one asked
Everyone talking about one another
Instead of focusing working hard
Comparing lifestyles be grateful
On what they need to be doing
Starting from nothing moving up
Working hard for everything

Been told never get comfortable always rushing and missing out. More to life than work things never turned out as planned but make the most of everything. Earned every cent. Passion for writing the only time emotions can come out and shine. Show feelings without doubt, or regret sharing. It's hard to trust others feel safe because they'll try to get the best of you.

They don't respect you but Dk your story. What you've seen and been through. Talking to you like you're waiting for them to tell you how to live your life when they aren't even living the life they set out to live.
Not one to compete or compare with others that aren't doing what one is pursuing on the journey.
Forgiving others even if they are still angry its better to walk away. Being around them as they destroy everything in their path soon it might be you. Hard to trust anyone marking others soon you might become a target.
Being brushed off ignored by everyone gave you room and space to do your own thing working harder and grinding to the fullest

Growing up learning on your own not being told you're good but everyone quick to point out everything you did wrong. Learned by watching getting in there not afraid to try lots of failure before succeeding.
Being taunted and mocked worked harder than everyone to stand out know for hard work didn't talk get involved work politics. Never one to **** up but work till it became natural did it right.
Achieved those old finally setting new ones still working to pursue the dream. Building up for the next level onto a new life a new chapter.

The fresh air smell of the baseball field
Watching the youth play lost in the game
Everyone moment coaching on first base
Prep talks in the dug out to hit the ball
Encouraging them to be better focused
Work on the strengths let them perform
Improve on those weakness lots of reps
Prep for the next game lots of practice

Big on being yourself some try to box you in change you because they arent happy with themselves. Those people are fake pretending to be someone they are not. They can't beat you one one so they talk about you get Every one to hate you because they are useless alone.
I question their logic because they always get their way even if it means hurting or ******* people. I've learned to not empower these kind of people. So many times it's about them with hidden agendas.

They always judged him
He got **** for buying stuff with the money he earned
Growing up poor taught you have to work for it
Grandma said "you need to do it yourself, no one is going to do it for you."
They don't believe in you
But want to share your success the nerve.
Steal your thunder make it about them
There's no secret or short cuts do the work

Learning to communicate
Have an adult conversation
Without hatred as aftermath
Mutual respect still friends
Able to debate over differences
Open to learn most of all understand
Do not impose with silly demands
Don't point out flaws making it personal
The topic lacked support in the discussion
Talking loud doesn't make you right
Overeating making a scene draw attention
Doesn't help the cause make it better

He was tired of the same old thing
Seen the world did things
Now stuck working a job he hate
Some places appreciated him
Others treated like he didn't belong
He wrote about his frustration
Since he didn't want to say
Anything he might regret
His mind and tone changed
Easier to let it out then hold on
Its toxic thoughts that cycle
Hopeless feelings of depression
Pushing through feeling trapped
Stuck not able to move
Joints aching with lower back pain
Trying to make it through the week
Heart at one location different vibes
Mind trapped in another rushing everything

Over a misunderstanding conflict occured. He didn't get his way his demeanor changed. Willing to bad mouth your character. make you out to be the bad guy since his life was in shambles. Sad how the respect went out the window from close to distant. The ties were cut family or not you don't try to expose a person because things aren't going your way.
Another scapegoat instead of owning up. More lies more betrayal and shady scandals going on. Better to walk away than be involved. Its heart breaking they say never again but its not the first or last time.
Neglecting responsibility making this appear worthless a lost cause. The value was gone meaningless not holding any value used it up then away with it onto the next.
Another reason to not get involved or care no remorse or sympathy.

He never said anything to them because all they did was talk about everyone. He never talked about anyone, if he has something to say he would said it to their face. They want everyone to chang, but never want to change themselves. He knew he wasn't perfect, so he never said anything about anyone.
He loved them but kept a distance since they wanted him to alter himself. He was over the fact they would pick and choose when to accept him. He went through change they dk his history or back story. He just wanted to be accepted for him out respect for his elders he kept his mouth shut.