Years of being counted out
Being ignored hated every minute
No one listening feeling insulted
Being talked over not being heard
Told them what's up no one cared
Always excluded treat unfair
Working on the side lost in the hustle
Trying to get it together on the Dlow
No one gives credit but ready to take it
Being disconnected making a stand
Everyone latching on when things are good
Leaving you with their bad trying to drain your positivity

He was over it his words being twisted. It's not what he was saying tired of false narratives. Because he spoke up they thought they could slander his character. He had his opinion to them it was no big deal but trying to use it against him.
They insult him and expect him to be okay with that. He had an opinion now everything turns into a personal attack. He stopped acknowledging them because the disrespect was only getting worse. He was definitely over one sided arguments making him out to be the crazy one.
Not going to give up on himself or compromise his efforts just to make people happy. They'd never be happy for him so why bother.

Praying for a friend who had a mild stroke. She has children that the family be healed and united.
For his cousin with 3 kids with 3 babies mommas. That he would get his life together and be a provider.
Gave it to God  because he's a man and can't do it alone on his own. Asking to be forgiven having a hard time Forgiving himself.
He forgave others to have peace, most never forgive him. He quick to move on pursuing his dream even though it's on hold because he wants to get his health right first.
He was interested in dating a nurse but sick of being in and out of the hospital. Thought about dating but the way it works now doesn't make sense.
Everyone wants all the perks of a relationship but no commitment. He was old school date for a while make it a relationship hopefully it would lead to marriage and kids making a family.

He was moving on not looking back trying to live. Instead of hiding, running away. He stood his ground and standing alone taking on the world. His life had so many twists and turns. He had trust issues after his so called best friend got with his high school crush. That would be left open hard to find a friend worthy of the title. The girl he loved was a ****** but he did love her unable to shake and believe the turn of events.
He would work towards his goals always some kind of road block and detour to make his dream a reality. He had an open mind when it came to education but his heart was closer off and on reserved focused trying to get right back on track. He didn't like conflict but always dealt problems but never made them right both never could come to terms or a mutual agreement.

How is there consequences for being asked your opinion while everyone is rude and disrespectful when no one asked.
Telling people what they did wrong while they try to tear you a new one. Talking you down so they feel better about themselves. You try to have a conversation but things become a heated argument.
Some people like to argue and thrive off it. They'd rather be right push everyone away. Some think they are helping but making the situation worse.
They aren't doing what you do or living your life who are they to discredit you. Tell you how to live your life while they are living another life than the one they set out to be living.
Making it seem like their life feeling and ideas are more important than what's going on with you at the moment. You feel bad for them because their overreaction has lost them friends or a bad reputation that will follow them.

Growing up learning on your own not being told you're good but everyone quick to point out everything you did wrong. Learned by watching getting in there not afraid to try lots of failure before succeeding.
Being taunted and mocked worked harder than everyone to stand out know for hard work didn't talk get involved work politics. Never one to **** up but work till it became natural did it right.
Achieved those old finally setting new ones still working to pursue the dream. Building up for the next level onto a new life a new chapter.

They don't respect you but Dk your story. What you've seen and been through. Talking to you like you're waiting for them to tell you how to live your life when they aren't even living the life they set out to live.
Not one to compete or compare with others that aren't doing what one is pursuing on the journey.
Forgiving others even if they are still angry its better to walk away. Being around them as they destroy everything in their path soon it might be you. Hard to trust anyone marking others soon you might become a target.
Being brushed off ignored by everyone gave you room and space to do your own thing working harder and grinding to the fullest

He always communicated got ignored. They'd ask for his opinion to do the opposite. He couldn't open up because they would twist his words against him. He never made plans because the people he'd invite would cancel or no show. If the roles were switched he would be there. He doesn't trust because they cheat trying to blame him for their actions. He gets tired of waiting and asking, because no one cares. what he wants, its not important to them.
When things are going well, someone always makes him feel bad for investing himself. Most of all his time, doing what he likes and loves. No one is happy for him, its never enough. Always discredit his efforts feeling unworthy or whatever he was doing wasn't important.

He was new to the scene and always dealing with everyone even though everyone har plans of leaving. He never complained but did hate hearing it. He didn't want anyone to leave but did respected their decision learning to look out for what's in his best interest.
He felt selfish but they didn't help themselves and he didn't feel the benefits. He was dumped on his own to figure it out on his own. The closer he got things got distant. He didn't want them to go but it was hurting holding on. He wanted them around but that chapter in his life was over.
It wasn't about him but thought what would it take to make them stay.
He couldn't get close or open up hiding in his feelings. Hoping his emotions wouldn't get the best of him. He would get mad and irritated because that life wasn't fun or the same anymore.
He felt like the joy was gone or things lost value had no meaning. Left alone on the outside looking in once inside it was whatever. All the weight and burden fell on him.

Done with manipulators
Over being used being talked about
No one is talking about anyone
Learned to mind your mouth
Stay out of the drama not feed into it
Focused on the work not the people
Always under pressure trying to be normal
Doing extra trying to be resourceful
Jokes about being the chosen one
Just trying to be part of the team
Play off one another everyone has strength and weaknesses build one another up
Not take swings or set each other back

Another chapter, A day in the life of the wild one. He met someone but she wasn't the one all they did was waste one another's time. He worked to build his future as his past crumbled behind him there was no going back. He didn't know what to do outside of his soul ******* job. Tired of being yanked in many directions his limbs ripped off his body numb to the pain.
His head hurt the aches feeling destroyed and his defeated heart pulsing. Tired digging down to find energy conserve strength while being drained lifeless. Trying to stay positive in the toxic environment finding hope over feeling doomed

Disappeared for a month wrestled with anger. Dealing with others who cause the frustration. He respected their way of life as they imposed on his. His writing triggering others insecurity leading them to make personal attacks.
He didn't give up on his passion; writing brought him joy. A voice since he didn't have his crowd anymore. The ones he could trust where his feelings and emotions wouldn't be used against him.
He sits in his room listening to music writing out these thoughts and ideas. Able to explore and cope with everything that opposed him. Told the truth so many offended. Doesn't like being lied to not doing it to others.

Trying not to over react
Showing interest being fair
Even if I don't agree
Having an opinion gets you divided
Use to being isolated not giving in
Walked away don't care for drama
Not holding a grudge its too heavy
Carrying that burden is draining
When the other person doesn't care
After they use you up
They give the 3rd degree
Only when they want something
They are in your personal space
Things don't turn out accordingly
Not expect in much giving your all
Not saying much but everyone talks
Everyone has an opinion that's respected
No one asked while its being given
He's just minding his mouth because he's the bad guy when he speaks up

He couldn't hold back the joy the tears. It finally happened the moment he had been working for years the day had come. He was always a sub feeling in the void now he would get a permanent spot. He didn't think I would happen he got cozy going through the motions. From day one he was told never get comfortable. Keep working, keep busy you'll get in.

He went out with family everyone made a fun. All he did was work and home no life outside of that it bugs him how they judged him for trying to live life. He wasn't married or didn't have kids.
He paid his rent and was being responsible even though work bored him. All he did was write on his down time. If he didn't train with his cousin he kept to himself. He loved sports but when the world shutdown. He didn't know what to do. He got lost in his thoughts it drove him insane. He tried to be a better person while everyone got worse with their problems and burdens imposing their frustration on others.

Working for his while others given it all did nothing but complain. They had way more it was never enough. He had nothing made the most of with what he had. Working his **** off because he didn't grow up with money.
He was always in work mode he started to read more. He always put others first never gave himself credit but would feel insulted when others tried to claim him and his efforts for things that needed to be done.
He didn't get along with leads things got done. He didn't care for micro managing or doing other peoples work. They took all the credit when they didn't help or contribute.
He didn't empower egos or power trips. So many took what he loved gutted it and tried to make it their own.
Working in silence behind the scenes coming up with new material using life experiences and encounters to tell stories to free himself from the anxiety caused by others be free from life frustrations express himself in a healthy manner.

Can't always find the words because someone will twist your words try to guilt you for having an opinion. Use them against you to justify the terrorism they are going to dish out.
Not married so you can't manipulate others with foul treatment that's given to their spouse. You have to communicate the silent treatment or nagging doesn't work.
Trying to treat people like children doesn't give an upper hand you can't control or dictate others behavior. Doesn't make you superior with false narratives.
Trying talking to people like an equal show respect because you dk their struggle or story. Everyone has a different up raising that's part of their growth. Maybe their fuel to pursue their dream working to achieve goals. You can't impose yourself thinking you know what's best when you haven't figured out what's best for yourself.

Tired of being told how to live
By people that settled right away
Who don't take their own advice
Use to care too much being excluded
Hoping they'd be accepting one day
More rules on how to behave
While their kids ran a muck
Doing things expecting favors repaid
Telling them how you feel and think
They can't comprehend it's dismissed
Turning everyone trying to control
Not playing walking away from this
Been there before didn't care for it
Not empowering hatred staying strong
A trail blazing leader not a follower
Use to being alone people go away
Hard to get close with an open heart
Not attached expecting them to stay
Live life on the go not waiting around

Time heals aching pain
Obsession fades away
Lust was never real love
Blurred lines crossed
Free from looping thoughts
Mind hungers for wisdom
Deprived of healing
Seeking spiritual health

The family joined for the festive even
Someone is always mad holding a grudge
Talking about one another but formal to their face.
Spending time with siblings and parents an intense moment
Use to going to other locations
Trying to be better son and older brother
One sibling not invited it wasn't right
Pride and egos bumping not sure how to fix it
Jokes turn into insults and made personal
Siblings have partners one brother is not fond of
Like his opinion will change their feelings

He was tired of hiding his skills and talent because he didn't like anyone talking about him or being the center of attention. No matter what he did others were threatened by him still coming at him sour. Lots of twisted people trying to bring him down with them. They saw good in him but didn't want him doing better than them

He was reliable others flaked stuck stepping it up. Running out of things to say choosing peace over arguing stopped comparing, everyone does their own thing. Minding my mouth and business making remarks to be funny but making people mad. Not hard to do just having an opinion. Writing to tell stories get out. Trying to heal be a whole over the empty pass that tried to steal joy of the present. Not use to people being nice but it's the best feeling ever. Doing the right thing even when no one is looking is rewarding.

Learned to make sure everything is right on my end; before talking about anyone. Mindful and respect when it comes to others. They are quick to judge without knowing the whole story or think they know; what's going on in this racing mind.
He loves his family but they don't accept him. He refused to give up who he is what he feels to be taken into consideration. He's quick to forgive even when they did him wrong.

There was no going back
Had to come up with something
Did everything possible came up short
Ran out of moves stuck moving still
Part of the progress getting better
Not one to settle for less sharp focus
Trying not to obsess on the wrong
Still working for it doing what's right
Not about crowds a true rebel
Everyone out for their own

What's next has been the big question? Not being the person others made you out to be. Asking what do you want to do with your life letting go of those judgemental people who made up their mind about you don't waste your time trying to prove or redeem yourself since its a one sided debate with stubborn mind that changes everything making in negative and against you so they could feel superior.

Watching people come and go took down the welcome mat. Saved their place I wasn't worthy of a place at their table. They slandered his name he never spoke bad about them. Making him look bad in front of a girl who was into him so that this scumbag could make his move.
A true friend wouldn't do that. A huge sign of disrespect and broken trust acting like they are loyal and true to your face. Violated trust means no more openness closed off pushed out.
If a person chooses to be single don't belittle them because you chose to settle. Acting like you're better than everyone talking about others like it's their right. Done with people like that family hurts the most. You have their back and they are quick to knife you in the heart. If they do that to family I get why no one is close to them. Or why they don't have any friends.

On his podcast he opened up showed emotions writing was easy but saying it was a whole other story. He usually offended or ****** people off with his honesty. He couldn't say or do anything a feeling guilt and robbed of part of himself.
He held onto so much it became a distraction. He couldn't focus trying to figure it make sense of others. He didn't understand where all this hostility came from.

Being called delusional for having an opinion
Called prideful for standing up when no one else did.
He learned not everyone would like him because he was different
He was a rebel did his own thing not a follower
Walking alone he was tired of conditional love
Why should he compromise himself to be liked to be accepted
The people who opposed him was family it hurt the most
Becoming immune to pain
but didn't have to take it
The right people would accept him flaw and all
They won't cheer for him he had to cheer for himself
Stay motivated shut mouths prove them wrong
All the talking and they did nothing
Piggy back on others accomplishments
Knocking others to feel secure about themselves
Stopped letting toxic people drain him
Refused to empower lazy people that took his credit
Told he had a bad attitude
He didn't let himself be taken for granted
So many people trying to narrate his story but he was the hero and writing his journey

He stayed in the AC because the heat would get to him. He worked around people invisible use to being in the background behind the scenes. He wanted to be a lead but knew people talked and would undermine his authority. He didn't know what he was going to do or where he would end up but he was determined to make it. Listening to music wiping everything to keep others safe sanitizing everything that others had touched. Not use to the mask but still cleaning it up. He thought about family so much conflict he didn't feel like he belong but did worry and care about everyone. He would show no feelings or emotions to protect himself. The tough love from family made it hard to express himself. Talking to him like he didn't know or expecting him to be someone they remember but no longer that person anymore.

Done with things, I've always kept others on track. ***** recovering from surgery and the people that claim to help you hide and help you are no where to be found. It's hard to set boundaries because of my medical condition. I need their help  for mild things but if I was healed I wouldn't ask.
I understand people live and have their own lives, but don't say something unless you are going to honor it. I'm not going to slander them like did to me while I'm in recovery. I let those loose tongues flow because they'll get themselves caught up.
Pursuing my faith has me Forgiving and moving on.
There's a voice that wants to take them down. It's better to turn away focus on what matters. You brought them up with you wishing you left them behind you. Once you see and know how a person is you avoid them because they are the ones building you up then quick to knock you down.

Most of this in the mind some days are easy some feel never ending. He tried to do what was right while others didn't work cheat cut corners. He was denied another interview more road blocks. Conflict with family was the worse because he had no problem saying sorry or admitting he was wrong. Family would never see things his way and quick to be mad hold a grudge.
He didn't sit around angry because he was working a job that never gave him the results he desired s so many road blocks and detours in his way blocking his path.  He was holding back writing was an outlet to deflate his ego

Near death determined to live
Do more over the same routine
The list grows on borrowed time
Writing from the heart staying true
Loyal to all the wrong people
Doing what's right causing a fight
Picking up the slack taking charge
Keeping things on track getting ahead
Learning to socialize deal with people
Be fair understanding the situation
While dealing with others problems
Keep them motivated and inspired
Usually focused on the work
Not about the drama anymore
Since it impacts the production
Learning to deal with others feelings
Understand others than ones emotions
Talked about moving up growing still
Not at the bottom anymore thriving
Looking up going forward rising up
Not going back or settling for less

Rumors spread he was suicidal
He's been living life to the fullest
Private with his relationship
Not knowing anything make it up
Assumed the worse about him
He had manners and formal
Talked about not talking about anyone
His presents rubbed others wrong
Minding his mouth staying quiet
Mostly his business by himself
Hard to trust since everyone gossips

Disappointed for expecting more
Stuck with less refuse to lower the bar
Never been one to be selfish
Willing to help bring others along
Learned to cut the cord
Not feeding into toxic energy
Tired of getting burned
Another lie still surprised

Dk you like that family or not. Don't trust you not going to open up. So you could lie and twist these words use them in your favor. Hard to share be yourself when they think.
They know you but have no clue about your life. Breaking free breaking away feeling grid locked not able to move.

They always judged him
He got **** for buying stuff with the money he earned
Growing up poor taught you have to work for it
Grandma said "you need to do it yourself, no one is going to do it for you."
They don't believe in you
But want to share your success the nerve.
Steal your thunder make it about them
There's no secret or short cuts do the work

That love was forbidden sweetest sins
One taste isn't enough hunger for more
Craving to be desired loved equally
Seeking the other half to be whole
Without that fix inner peace is disturbed
Life has been tough without controversy
Thoughts of new love hard to find
Too tough to feel anything
Rough times hide emotions
Hard to trust after all the betrayal
Aching to be desired with true love
Find the spark to start the fire
A kiss that takes the pain away
Hugs that makes bad memories fade
Empty inside feeling whole once again

He questioned everything wasn't sure how to feel. He was running out of places to go, and relocate. He gave his all, everything to all the wrong people. It helped him grow be wiser make better decisions.
Staying positive in a negative world
Fueling my love trying to cancel out hate
Moving up no one left behind never too late
Broken trying to heal tough skin immune
Fighting this insanity shouldn't be the norm
Walked away from the pain flowing deep
Working hard to stand tall gain
Keeping the peace took a beating

He woke up ready to make it happen too much going on to be noticed. No one lives in the moment in anymore. Quick to record document everything.
Everyday come up with something new instead of letting material grow into something more. Feels like you can't settle  or take in. Older seeing what's in and it doesn't make sense.
These made up rules and standards that are used to keep people out. So many pretending to someone they are not.

I've been to myself haven't had any opinions. Changing is good after a while you stop caring what others think they made up their mind. I respect their opinion but disagree. It doesn't matter because I know the truth it's my story to tell and not letting anyone dictate my future.
I've been respectful and treat people right because someone said how you treat people makes a difference. I try to be helpful and resourceful. During my recovery I see things different things I wanted I have but know it's not meant to be so it's better to keep focus.