Quick to close of this heart
The cruel world falling apart
Starting over once again
Another wicked chapter ends
From hurt to glory the healing begun
Another wild journey to pursue
Everything has changed turn the page
Things fades with time wise with age
The unsung hero story needs to be told
A loving heart never gets old
Open to new growing with experience
Each encounter building character

I respect when others go through stuff but they have no right to take their frustration out on those that dk what's going on or not part of the problem that caused them misery.
Spreading it to others in a time; where people don't say sorry. If they do the apology is not accepted, but a tool to hold a grudge to valid their righteousness.
It's easier to walk away than stay and argue with them because they take on roles pretending to be someone they are know with guilt and power trips. Always had respect even when they cause a seen to manipulate using humiliation. They need to stay in their lane because they don't know the inconvenience to get the job done.

As a writer I have so many mind sets writing comedy and lyrics started writing scripts.
I'm trying to master my art and skill even though I keep things basic. My days feel long lost after being fired from a job I loved over an idiot who got to me and in my head.
I've been mad at my friend she breaks up and goes back with her idiot boyfriend. Shes a smart and pretty girl who settles for less. I'm always treated different I'd rather be doing my own thing it means everything to me.
I get involved with crowds I take on their drama even though it's not mine good friends stick around about you can have their back once they move on it makes things easier. You had plans but they never went accordingly that the problem with the film industry

He was called a player but she was the one messing around on him. His friends would talk bad about him. The girls would find him more interesting than the guy pursuing her.  He got called weird for being himself while others pretended to be someone they are not.
So many sick twisted labels by others. He had trust issues the girl he liked said no a week later ended up with hid best friend. The same girl who made out with his brother. His family with their tough love his efforts never felt good enough.
He loved to jog but the stress was too much causing him to lose interest. Gave it up for a girl who tried to change him. He was tired of making her happy when she was always mad making him feel it was never good enough.

Chuck enjoyed his birthday breakfast with grandma and his sister plus her bf. They would enjoy his meal and the waitresses would bring him a dessert and sing him happy birthday.
He didn't like being the center of attention it made him uncomfortable for some strange reason. He got use to being an outcast in the back; who kept to himself minding his mouth mostly his business.
He went to a collectible store to buy vintage toys to him was his childhood being resold over priced. He got an anime series for a reasonable price.
After hanging with his siblings his friend would tell him lets meet up for beer and pizza. He agreed he didn't have beer but did enjoy the pizza and watching the ball game. Staying sober in the bar was hard but made the most of it. He use to be social but felt like it was one sided.
His first time out in a while was different he was quiet but everyone would talk to him for some strange reason it was all new and different from how he remembers things.

Growing up with tough love. People being nice is genuine. some do it without terms or conditions. A whole new vibe and experience from the people who care. It feels right without it being thrown in your face or held over your head. Things are not always what they appear to be. Learned to not expect much or ask but to do it yourself if you'd truly like to make it happen.

Stop enabling feeding their bad habits
It's hard to quit addiction with others
Avoiding people who drink
Can't be around it anymore
Not into drugs seen peers consumed
Some can't live without it
Unable to function without the fix
Bad habits uniting a friendship
Without toxic traits where's the bond
Could they coexist get along sober

Back to school year of being the oldest
Balancing out work and school
Don't want to fail hard to balance out the two
The lack of a social life felt numb learned to go without
College in the late 30s an older person New look and vibe for life wanting to learn and apply the knowledge
Don't care to learn about racism
Grew up a minority already a disadvantage

Seen you as a brother the drinking consumed you.
Thought I knew you all the shady acts manipulation
Tried to help wasn't any better just as bad maybe worse.
Trying to hit on his girl blamed her for shooting him down
Gave him stuff for being in interracial relationship
While sneaking around doing the same
Judged for his clothes being labeled
By the hater who's wearing the same brand
Friends to foes someone unknown
Close to distant not bothering anymore.
Use to talk now whatever doing our own thing

He admired her she was a workaholic he was too. Digging down deep to fins the stones to ask her out. The idea of them made him smile but was terrible at relationship. He didn't want to get hurt or hurt her. He grew up with family that was not fond of interracial relationships. Her mocha skin and colored eyes had him in a daze.
The life he dreamed of never turned out accordingly. Focused on trying to be himself. Everyone expected too much and trying to figure out what he wants out of life. Loved others but had a hard time loving himself a struggle within that burned from the inside out.

College is not who you are
Sometimes you unlearn and relearn
Encounter people from around the world
A small town boy becoming a man
He changed his location to be better
But home had his heart part of him
Taking those values into another world
The experience helped him grow
He was open minded to new cultures
His heart set on becoming somebody
But pushed everyone and thing away
He felt like a nobody trying be someone
Others made him out to be crazy
He fought to be himself taking criticism
Sometimes he wanted to disappear
Fade away take a time out from it all
Now he's down missing that world
Not sure where he belongs or fits in
Starting over was a hard step to take
But needed to be done no looking back
The past is a comfort food that is not nutritious
Never satisfied just addicted to the crunchy junk food

Having writers block *****. Not trying to complain over things I have no say or control over. Just grow from them. You're way stronger than most because you stepped up you've experienced success and failed but willing to learn get better. Always growing not always a win but trying while the critics make no effort they expect you to fail but you refuse to lose and settle striving forward.
The girl you loved was promiscuous
A girl who claimed to love you cheated
Fired from something better came along
Starting to slow down be more technical

Looked out now being pushed out
Told you she cheated still surprised
Had your back you turned it to me
The knife in mine already the pain
Not one to get even return the favor
Went against a friend mind made up
All this for an unfaithful love
Ditched friendships for a relationship
Hard to trust pursuing lust mistaken
Addicted to the toxic can't get a fix
Mind clouded not able to focus
In denial about the truth believing lies

friends come and go like the seasons
some I miss, but pride and ego
keeps us divided rather than talking it out
mistakes were made, and apologizes were not accepted
good times are over, but not forgotten
losing a friend while holding a grudge
never going to see them again
friendships ended for relationships
couples become partners start a family
I wish you nothing but the best
the fork in the road
takes up to different places
some on borrowed time with health issues
others in the struggle trying to get by
life's a ride make the most of it
doing what's right from the heart
don't care about being right
moving onto the next chapter
doing it alone staying strong
make the most of things with what you got

you asked for help, and it was hard to do
You're sharing a moment to have it ruined
Not contributing anything to case
The nerve to complain about things
Controlling the mood, making everyone miserable
Taking over the TV talking loud
Not able to sleep, keeping everyone up
No one asked or cares about your opinion
Trying to take credit shoveling the BS heavy
Failed since day one couldn't be alone
Bringing your partner all you do is argue
around a couple with bad habits
stuck with a **** relationship
a squatter trying to control a formal gang banger
how does a person munch on food
Knock out in the middle of eating
hard to sleep with snoring and bad sleep apnea from the terrible roommates
The caretakers from hell
Expected the best dealing with the worst
They aren't going to take care of you
So you take your health in your own hands
when you want to do things, they make it ****
stuck doing their bs agenda because they are bored
it's never in your best interest but their own

Always letting someone down
My honesty offends not one to lie
I'm not one to ask or bother others
I always think people don't like who I am
Not always liked or a favorite
Not looking for approval
Don't care to be liked I've learned to do it yourself
Learn as much possible so you don't have to wait or rely on anyone
Not one ro run but go where I'm accepted
Moral code can cause conflict with feelings
Emotions and feelings out of wack

He missed her and his chance
She was married to someone
Who made her happy made it work
A mom with kids such a blessing
she told him no and wasn't ready
He wanted to call but it was too late
There was no going back only forward
It would never be normal again

Being the man taking a stand
Hiding your emotions down for yours
Not letting emotions cloud judgement
Chasing opportunity rising up
Can't stay down pursuing a dream
Lost in the technique repetitive drilling
Practice like it's real means everything
Creating with words exploring ideas
Vibrating emotions on heavy bass string
Every page taking the bleeding ink
Trying to be normal never on to fit in
An outsider looking in wondering where
Where does he fit in where does he belong

Back to the gym it's a load off
Pushing the body to the limits
Slow and in control of the weights
Muscles tightening muscle member coming back
Feeling stronger mentally
Pushing through the soreness
Body going through the motions
The tension gets more intense
Trying to find the pump
Clear the mind stare into the distance
Rebuilding muscle fibers growing
Resistance maximum effort
Controlled breathing each rep

Going forward not looking back. Years of NO or set backs. Detours standing strong going forward with life. Things are better not associating with those people that knock my goals and dreams. You empowered them by lending an open ear staying away from their toxic ways and corruption that knocks your focus leaving you in doubt.
Being used and kept out is the worse way to live and allow in your life breaking free from one sided friendships. Why are you making doubt standards to be seen as the exception. Don't talk unless you are putting forth any effort.

Shared a laugh and a smile
Not trying to be in your way
Stepped aside all I can do is pray
Not going to take the blame
Feel your pain because you chose it
Showed concern got burned hard
My words me nothing why even bother
From friend to foe someone I use to know
Made myself available got left hanging
Doing more productive stuff
Seen as a traitor called a sell out
Wanting a better life by doing the work
Being called entitled earning my share
A narcissistic for not settling for less
Stopped complaining doing what I can
Willing to help out with the time given

Thinking of ways writing like life is a matter of life and death. Slowed down because of burning out. Rushed missed things on the way trying to get ahead barely coming out even.
A late starter trying to make up for being behind. Always taking a risk caught up in the mix. Dating all the wrong women learned the less. Thankful for the moments focused on the good over the bad.
Working jobs trying to learn as much as possible to get it done. Can't rely or trust anyone have to step it up to finish.
Lost friends along the way, some couldn't be single in bad relationships.
Having a family leaving friendships in the past; focused on their kids the future.
Didn't understand before but everything makes sense now.

He couldn't hold back the joy the tears. It finally happened the moment he had been working for years the day had come. He was always a sub feeling in the void now he would get a permanent spot. He didn't think I would happen he got cozy going through the motions. From day one he was told never get comfortable. Keep working, keep busy you'll get in.

She texted him let's catch up
Then didn't hear from her
He had a crush never acted on it
She was a good friend
Didn't want to ruin a good thing
He was bad at opening up
Afraid she would think less of him
She told him everything felt safe
Appreciated her thought highly of her

Now that I'm older, so much time has passed
I think of Things to tell, my younger self
Know way more than before, so much growth
Looking older for work has taken it's toll
Made so many friends, all alone in the end
Keep working feels like no one care
Means nothing to others, everything to the heart
Do not be discouraged, did more than most
Many will bad mouth your character
Slander your name, stay positive, push forward
Doing what's right against negative vibes
Being blamed, treated unfairly will make you rise

Staying up till 2 am writing
Scenarios playing out
Reality has a different out come
Seems right mentally
Physical things don't play out
From making moves to sidelines
No credibility because of false promise
Called out the liar more lies and denial
Uttered words that hold no value
Actions are more than useless excuses

Read the Bible felt empowered
Recharged playing with the bass guitar
Writing to get this mind sharp
Keep focused on work need to keep busy
Paying medical bills invested in health
Hustling for insurance get out of debt
Stay above water learning to float
Surviving the chaos of the storm
Bobbing for air to stay alive
Not drown sink to the bottom
Trying to be normal without judgement
Always asking about my health
Older tired and slowing down
Others worried it's not helping
This health condition not an excuse
Doesn't help feeling medically discriminated

It wasn't his dream or his vision. He felt forced out. He minded his business because he knew how everyone was, and didn't want to go backwards. He loved them, but didn't want to deny, who he was to be liked to be accepted.
They told him he couldn't do it, but he has been doing it. Made he feel bad for having a dream while they made no effort to pursue theirs. He respected their decisions while they'd bad mouth him for trying. Now they are making moves nothing but respect that's their thing.

Learned to make sure everything is right on my end; before talking about anyone. Mindful and respect when it comes to others. They are quick to judge without knowing the whole story or think they know; what's going on in this racing mind.
He loves his family but they don't accept him. He refused to give up who he is what he feels to be taken into consideration. He's quick to forgive even when they did him wrong.

He took it all in things hard to forget
Now he's older and can't remember
Wanted to reach out make it right
Losing his best friend was hard
Passing of a friend without closure
Wanted to talk it out make peace
The resentment grew worse together
This nightmare feeling cursed
Given space far a part companionship
Denying one another's friendship
Never talked or bonded again
A thing of the past but never forgotten

He stayed in the AC because the heat would get to him. He worked around people invisible use to being in the background behind the scenes. He wanted to be a lead but knew people talked and would undermine his authority. He didn't know what he was going to do or where he would end up but he was determined to make it. Listening to music wiping everything to keep others safe sanitizing everything that others had touched. Not use to the mask but still cleaning it up. He thought about family so much conflict he didn't feel like he belong but did worry and care about everyone. He would show no feelings or emotions to protect himself. The tough love from family made it hard to express himself. Talking to him like he didn't know or expecting him to be someone they remember but no longer that person anymore.

Keep bouncing back. After this surgery a few months on the sidelines I'm humble lots of personal growth. Writing has change trying not to complain and make the most of things. Adjust and adapt. Always fighting but don't care I'm just going to do the right thing.
I don't make anyone look bad, I chose to work hard do my best to do it done. Why you chose to politic about the job doing nothing.  Making it hard for the next guy when you should be the guy.
Make it happen stand out. The right people will appreciate you. Take pride in your work. People will criticize that's when you ask them how do I improve this problem. I try to provide a solution sometimes people want to give you a hard time.
Before I'd get annoyed, talk to me about it. Don't talk about others it will circle back. I meet awesome people but if they are being negative I could be like a mood ring and that bad juju is not for me. I didn't myself focus on my work and writing.

I've been to myself haven't had any opinions. Changing is good after a while you stop caring what others think they made up their mind. I respect their opinion but disagree. It doesn't matter because I know the truth it's my story to tell and not letting anyone dictate my future.
I've been respectful and treat people right because someone said how you treat people makes a difference. I try to be helpful and resourceful. During my recovery I see things different things I wanted I have but know it's not meant to be so it's better to keep focus.

I'm not that guy you remember I've changed over the years. I said sorry it wasn't enough. I got sober for me but did change my behavior. I've made mistakes but learned to forgive myself holding on to that crushed my spirit.
I tried to make it right but made it worse. I've learned to walk away from things and cut certain family members off. I'll always love them but they are constantly knocking me or trying to bring out the worse.
I've done good but you hold my mistakes over my head when you've done worse. I'm not playing the blame game or going to strike back because you'll play the victim. That flapping mouth will backfire only a matter of time.

He was a sensitive child
Being told don't cry
Stop being a *****
As he got older it got hard
Hard to express his emotions
Share his feelings with others
His mother laughed at him
The one person he trusted
Opened up to vent for peace
Took away his safe space
She took his joy broken trust
Heart shattered by laughter
Mocked his vulnerability
Hard to trust anyone
Let anyone into the closed off heart
Loved Hard to get hate back

Made mistakes part of being human
Said sorry hardly ever forgiven
Things will never be the same
Rise about the pain not consumed
Time takes the hurt away
Only if those words could be taken back
Had good intensions left with a failed outcome
Growing apart instead of closer now divided
Sober living the toxic pushed out
On this lonely road moving forward
Sad to see them go holding on to fading memories

He woke hung over the bright sunlight
Dehydrated with eyes sensitive to light
Not Remembering a blue
What happened the night before
So much has change with say
Fear of the unknown leaving the past
Everything slipping away
Grasping for life trying to find balance
More peace within and base