Hard to have a conversation when the person wont let you speak. Their false narrative projected on you. You can explain how you feel when its being dismissed. He walked away in the end it doesn't matter more problems than Solutions. The frustration causing anxiety and he wasn't sure how to act or how to feel after being told off. He didn't explain himself and things kept getting worse. He wanted out of this nightmare ripped open feel in vulnerable. He do who he's suppose to be or made them out to be.
No thank you not interested he learned to say because it got to him. Its not fun anymore he made a stance. They come at him easy to take down a person, who's not looking for trouble. If he went for it they would ignore him in the end his time would be wasted.

Keep bouncing back. After this surgery a few months on the sidelines I'm humble lots of personal growth. Writing has change trying not to complain and make the most of things. Adjust and adapt. Always fighting but don't care I'm just going to do the right thing.
I don't make anyone look bad, I chose to work hard do my best to do it done. Why you chose to politic about the job doing nothing.  Making it hard for the next guy when you should be the guy.
Make it happen stand out. The right people will appreciate you. Take pride in your work. People will criticize that's when you ask them how do I improve this problem. I try to provide a solution sometimes people want to give you a hard time.
Before I'd get annoyed, talk to me about it. Don't talk about others it will circle back. I meet awesome people but if they are being negative I could be like a mood ring and that bad juju is not for me. I didn't myself focus on my work and writing.

This year has been tough trying to show emotion but when you protect your heart people think you don't care. Years of being ignored or talking to people who show no interest in what you are saying. Its okay to be alone and figure out what yo I want.
Losing loved ones makes you appreciate life and those that care and take interest in your life.
Social circles shrink and getting stuck in a routine work and home. Thankful to be working since many aren't. The world has showed its dark side so many beliefs that would do anything to be hear to make a point. Trying not to lose faith and walk with grace giving it all to God.

Closed his eyes seeing it in his head
Growing thankful for the mentors
Some believe in your skills work ethic
One on your side feeling secure
Others deny your efforts against you
Ignoring the drama working harder
Chasing a dream means everything
Setting goals making them count
Tell your story set the standards high
Breaking through being denied
Trying to survive being kept out

I'm single I don't need to take on couples problems. Sharing a common area is the worse. I'm not going to argue your mind that is set in old school ways. I could educate, be informative, but it's up to the individual to learn, or process the idea. It could help but it's mostly up to the person what they do with the information.

He loved his family but didn't want to hear all the arguing. No one got alone everyone spoiled and entitled while he worked hard for his. Always felt excluded when things are going well. But never got any love or support for it.
Things were bad everyone would include him when he didn't care or want to be involved. It wasn't his business because he didn't care. If he tried to be supportive he would be ignored and kept out.
He didn't wait around or rely on people open to learn everything. Focused on work not drama trying to leave things better than how he found them. Took pride in his work when his crew did the bare minimum. He wasn't trying to tale anyone's job but he did raise the bar. His job wasn't hard but dealing with an useless ego and power trip made it ****.
He loved his family but never felt like it got better everyone has their way and not happy. They try to tell him when he already knows or been there. Never seen as an equal while everyone tries to take charge telling people when not one asked or trying fix others lives when they don't have it together.

Training with my cousin for his fight annoyed it got postponed. It was helping build confidence and keeping my mind sharp. Always scared to show love or get attached things get taken away or never go according to plan. Been hanging in there ready to break out start over new. Tired of drifting being let go dragged around wandering lost when it feels close to being there. I dont like when things end but it means level up.

after I woke up from the transplant
I was in ICU the beginning of recovery
The catheter tube would come out
Each day would consist of a task
a cut across my gut I'd pray everyday
My abdominal muscle lacking core strength
A huge cut stapled shut metal stitches
Extremely anxious to get out of bed
Having to page the nurse for assistance
Getting out of bed was difficult
I felt like a turtle on its back
I learned techniques during physical therapy
I had to urinate one of the first tasks
A process that took a few hours
After being assigned was a flow
I'd get up and walk after every meal
trying to keep strong physically
mentally missing work and home
Mostly grandma, her words echoed
"mijo, no one is going to do it for you, you need to do it yourself."
Next, I'd be asked to pass gas ripping a few.
A bowel movement, which was my final task so I could be released to be out patient staying a local to AZ

Reflecting on the years
Overcome pain and fears
Those tough times left behind
From loving the wrong girl
To doing what's right
Broke to working overtime
Thankful for the chance
Making the most of opportunities
Got chopped down build back up
Don't like being to how to act
Walked away from disrespect
Hurt like hell but don't need the hate
Learned to take criticism
Being corrected to be better works
Walked away from the negative

He didn't want her after she was denied and rejected. She chose someone else over him. He knew it was BS and made that mistake before he already knew the outcome. In the end, he would be lying and cheating himself to think it would change.
She had been lied to, cheated on and still went back it made no sense. Why would she spread that pain and misery to others. He saw good in her, but all he got was her worse. From having a crush to being a friend; he eventually shut down, turned his back walked away.
Saved himself from hurt and pain nothing left to remain. Hoping to find someone that loves them self and him as well.

Having those uncomfortable conversations
Asking those questions that need answers
Be the solution not point out the problem
Do the work be the guy who does it
Don't leave it for the next guy
Take pride in your self and work
Stop being influenced by the negative majority
Stop empowering people who do nothing
Listen to your heart do what's right
No longer associate with toxic behavior
A sober life not around the scene anymore
Friends Stop calling and ignore your decision
Respect how they chose to be the same
Walked away from bad relationships
Going back is not an option
Had those thoughts reflected through writing
Not welcoming back the cheater
Not accepting lies from the liar
If you have to alter yourself that's not your crowd
Raise your voice to be heard those are not your people
Fighting for your spot just walk away
Know your worth and value yourself

The fresh air smell of the baseball field
Watching the youth play lost in the game
Everyone moment coaching on first base
Prep talks in the dug out to hit the ball
Encouraging them to be better focused
Work on the strengths let them perform
Improve on those weakness lots of reps
Prep for the next game lots of practice

Learning to conversate with others
If you could be yourself those are the people that are welcome
I don't care for material possessions it doesn't make you a better person
Treat people right looks don't matter
Getting older rely on personality over time looks fade
Thankful for my friends that accept me
Let go of the people who talk bad behind my back
Not feeding into the nonsense enjoying life

The roaring thunder in the distance
Flashing lightening in the sky rain clouds
Rain pouring hard sounds like the showers on
The smell of wet dirt soaked in rain drops
Rainy days set the mood live in the moment
Calls for a cup of hot chocolate with a good book
A cold night so fresh making it easy to rest
Grab a blanket stare out the window fall a sleep
Sweet dreams filled with peace overcome it all

He got another call for the transplant it was a no go within the guidelines. It ruined his day and he still went to work.
Doing extra he wanted to be a lead, but was behind the scenes. Biting his lip because he was waiting for the surgery. Holding back because he knew he'd be out recovering.
Those calls get him worked up then burnt out when he got the bad news. He'd reflect on his life asking "what he did wrong?" Asking when and "why hasn't it happened yet?"
Writing helped him put life into perspective. Trying to write his story and control his narrative. He couldn't explain or find the words.

More wrinkles on this face
White hairs standing out
****** hair with white patches
Wisdom with time
Letting go to get over things
Use to remember everything
Lost in the daze of life
Another phase with age
The heart melts in love
While the mind avoids
Being consumed by rage
Love for other more than ones self
Feeling complete can be deep
Losing it all can't cause numbness
Eventually the vision becomes real
If not you find another way to achieve
What the mind heart body desires

Hard to be free when others impose
Be yourself when everyone is fake
How you mad at others for working
Who spend the money that's theirs  
They earn without your say
The stuff you complain about
Doing the same why give them shade
Telling others to do things you never did
All these made up standards
You own a house not people
Some work hard to pay rent to survive
Make a living investing in the future
While piggy back talking down on others
Trying to take charge with devious ways
Dividing the family everyone was united
Stealing from grandma will comeback
Hand in her bank account blaming family
Living outside your means the deceit

Years of being angry finally at peace
Humbled after being sick
Thankful to be alive
Year and six months of doctors appointments.
Six months on the transplant list
Thanked God for another chance
I tried to write about it but lived it
I'd like to forget be normal ish
Whatever that is now a days
I hated the doctor now It's a regular thing
Trying to have a social life usually a workaholic
Taking pills to keep my ***** and body from rejecting one another
A huge scar across my stomach
Near the bottom of my rib cage a reminder of healing
A second chance at life called brave
I'm crazy enough to comeback for more
Talking to God to help me get through this
I'm blessed and thankful to be alive
Not letting toxic people spoil my bounce back
Limited not holding back
Faith gave me strength
Music keep me sane
Ready to go back to work
Love home but not a home body
Writing has been hard not writing from hurt or pain
Staying positive focused on recovery

A quiet Christmas watching football
Writing lyrics practicing bass guitar
Missing family everything feels forced
We could see each other everyday
No holiday needed to comment
Claiming to be okay being disconnected
Keeping the peace with an internal struggle
No one can sorry its seen as weakness
Being able to forgive without terms and conditions
All the good is forgotten while the bad is held onto
No respect for others feelings but the most sensitive of them all
Don't say anything if you can't take it when people talk back
They are not waiting around to be judged or criticized by someone who's not helping
Wish we could sit under the tree open gifts but everyone talks like they are the head of the table No respect for parents
Stop holding a grudge against them you're an adult it's on you stop blaming them.

The people he loved the ones that mattered made him feel like a failure. A needy gf nothing was good enough. A family that rushed him but did everything late.
The double standards they made him feel bad for a mistake held it against him to keep him out. When they made a mistake he didn't care because the heat would be dumped on his lap.
He was done with being silent he knew the consequences. They'd try to make him look ghetto because called them on it. Talk about him gain numbers because they can't do it alone or in their own. Either way they made him feel awkward and uncomfortable. He stayed quiet they run their mouth or he spoke up and they had more reasons to talk

Not into drinking staying sober it was no longer fun. The crowds drank to drown their misery the problem is that it could swim. He like to drink and have fun as he got older things became a buzz ****.
Some complaining about a girl that wants nothing to do with them. Doing bad things to sabotage the relationship blaming everyone, but themselves. Drinking wasn't fun it just became a sausage fest before there was females that hung out. Once they got a boyfriend they became loyal cutting everyone off. Acting like they don't know anyone same for the fellas that got a partner as well.

He started to speak up, he had enough so much imposition on his lap. They don't want him to accept their ways without taking his into consideration. He was open to discussion but it turns physical because they he didn't always agree. Open to learn understand didn't like being forced or told how to act how to behave.

Finding peace and closure while writing
Stopped complaining started praying
Making the most of things thankful
Gave it all to God learning to forgive
Learning to be patient focused on health
Want it now not later determined to live
Waiting for a match the right liver
God's time and will have faith
Got lost in the word not the world
Try not to lose hope impatiently waiting
A close call that didn't happen
Overwhelmed with anxiety
Praying for the moment to be in the OR
A new ***** to get rid of the jaundice
Yellow eyes and bad skin dieing inside
Look healthy be able to be normalish
No more pain and suffering hiding it
Being bold strong when scared as hell

He was tired of the same old thing
Seen the world did things
Now stuck working a job he hate
Some places appreciated him
Others treated like he didn't belong
He wrote about his frustration
Since he didn't want to say
Anything he might regret
His mind and tone changed
Easier to let it out then hold on
Its toxic thoughts that cycle
Hopeless feelings of depression
Pushing through feeling trapped
Stuck not able to move
Joints aching with lower back pain
Trying to make it through the week
Heart at one location different vibes
Mind trapped in another rushing everything

After the surgery feeling gutted
Pain tolerance high focused on work
Writing to feel mild expression
Sometimes emotions are numb
Trying to stay positive and upbeat
While everyone wallows in misery
Not into drama staying clear
Don't care for the circle ****
Avoiding egos with bad attitudes
Rejecting toxic vines of negativity
Called selfish for being alone
Denied trying to fit in why bother
Over all the contradiction and lies
Hated for being honest being genuine
While the fake try to take you down
Not wishing bad like they do
I pray things get better and stay away

He woke hung over the bright sunlight
Dehydrated with eyes sensitive to light
Not Remembering a blue
What happened the night before
So much has change with say
Fear of the unknown leaving the past
Everything slipping away
Grasping for life trying to find balance
More peace within and base

He didn't know, how to make the wrong right. He said sorry it wasn't enough. After being excluded and kept out; there was no going back. Trying to make it better things declined and got worse.
Trying to talk it out things got sour fast. From friends to foes; now strangers that no longer talk; while growing apart living divided lives

Trying not to argue or talk smack been feeling provoked. I know I can be cut throat with words. I've been minding my mouth and business. I joke but dk where I stand with people.
Some make it personal over a joke while other can joke and laugh at themselves back and forth without being sensitive.

He was a mess inside dealing with things. He could talk about it but felt like no one would understand. He didn't like being told what to do but open to suggestions.

He's blessed but one the sidelines. He woke up from the surgery. A new look on life a second chance looking back and going back wasn't an option

Writing has been therapy able to express without judgement. Have an opinion without others knocking you for being different. They expect so much but give so little. Thankful for the people who appreciate you even though you'd been through, so much to be where you are at.
Not always forced to commitment because it's not always what it's made out to be anymore. Ready for a career change starting over at the bottom ***** but being stuck in the transition is the worse

Fell in love with the curse
Denying feelings made it worse
Hoping she's fix what she broke
Leaving with those pieces
Putting yourself back together
Learned the lesson do better
No going back to what broke you
Aged with the pain fading memories
In the present good vibes remains

He was over it his words being twisted. It's not what he was saying tired of false narratives. Because he spoke up they thought they could slander his character. He had his opinion to them it was no big deal but trying to use it against him.
They insult him and expect him to be okay with that. He had an opinion now everything turns into a personal attack. He stopped acknowledging them because the disrespect was only getting worse. He was definitely over one sided arguments making him out to be the crazy one.
Not going to give up on himself or compromise his efforts just to make people happy. They'd never be happy for him so why bother.

Years of being counted out
Being ignored hated every minute
No one listening feeling insulted
Being talked over not being heard
Told them what's up no one cared
Always excluded treat unfair
Working on the side lost in the hustle
Trying to get it together on the Dlow
No one gives credit but ready to take it
Being disconnected making a stand
Everyone latching on when things are good
Leaving you with their bad trying to drain your positivity

Someone is always mad
Don't have time for that
Or holding a grudge
Never talked about it
Making everything personal
Definitely don't have time for that
Talks about everyone but quick to ask a favor
Kept a distances and stayed way
After being pushed out
Now back violating everyones  personal space.
Did favors never again
Looked out now faced with betrayal
Tired of empowering the wrong people
That use others then send them packing
Thinking they changed turns out they are the same in a new location

The voice in his head said you cant keep up this attitude or live this way anymore. Trying to hold on for dear life when the death grip should be release. Caring that load relieved from the tension. The transition should be embracing new let go of those old burdens. Can't change those outcomes but better for the next time around.

Shared a laugh and a smile
Not trying to be in your way
Stepped aside all I can do is pray
Not going to take the blame
Feel your pain because you chose it
Showed concern got burned hard
My words me nothing why even bother
From friend to foe someone I use to know
Made myself available got left hanging
Doing more productive stuff
Seen as a traitor called a sell out
Wanting a better life by doing the work
Being called entitled earning my share
A narcissistic for not settling for less
Stopped complaining doing what I can
Willing to help out with the time given