Writing about it trying to forget all hyped up
Processing the insanity no matter was done
Things would be said or cause controversy
Some kind of commotion with backlash
Not talking about anyone just the interaction
The frustration from caring to much
Causing anger for not caring enough
Not easily provoked or talking anymore
Hard to speak when an opinion
Triggering others feeling like a target
Told be your own person its never enough
Not trying to be labeled or boxed in
The rebel who doesn't follow to be treated different or fall into place
Choosing to have his own identity not be lost in the crowd
One mistake and he felt pushed out and learned to be okay with it

Disappointed for expecting more
Stuck with less refuse to lower the bar
Never been one to be selfish
Willing to help bring others along
Learned to cut the cord
Not feeding into toxic energy
Tired of getting burned
Another lie still surprised

Hate being the jynx
Love sports miss participating
To watch the team lose is frustrating
Trying to be a fan and supportive
But they do better not keeping tabs
The game can be intense
Full of anxiety and excitement
Wanting to win but stuck with a loss
The team wins it was a nerve wrecking game
Use to follow the team and knew stats
Before the job and responsibilities
Had a schedule full of games
Softball use to coach forever a fan
Watching little League World series with family
Basketball season starts up
Use to know the team and players
Trades are made some are improvements
Others trades made the team worse

Too strong showing no emotions
Those feelings going numb
So much betrayal from the deceitful
He couldn't look at them anymore
Never the same there's no going back
On a lonely journey chasing a dream
Healing from trembling aches within
They made him out to be a nobody
Tarnished his rep without redemption
He didn't defend himself or he was guilty
Walked away from lies because he knew the truth and what he wanted
Tired of being buried alive just trying to live be an individual without others trying to bring him down. Like if it's their call or like their say matters

Writing has been therapy able to express without judgement. Have an opinion without others knocking you for being different. They expect so much but give so little. Thankful for the people who appreciate you even though you'd been through, so much to be where you are at.
Not always forced to commitment because it's not always what it's made out to be anymore. Ready for a career change starting over at the bottom ***** but being stuck in the transition is the worse

Hard to be free when others impose
Be yourself when everyone is fake
How you mad at others for working
Who spend the money that's theirs  
They earn without your say
The stuff you complain about
Doing the same why give them shade
Telling others to do things you never did
All these made up standards
You own a house not people
Some work hard to pay rent to survive
Make a living investing in the future
While piggy back talking down on others
Trying to take charge with devious ways
Dividing the family everyone was united
Stealing from grandma will comeback
Hand in her bank account blaming family
Living outside your means the deceit

He was new to the scene and always dealing with everyone even though everyone har plans of leaving. He never complained but did hate hearing it. He didn't want anyone to leave but did respected their decision learning to look out for what's in his best interest.
He felt selfish but they didn't help themselves and he didn't feel the benefits. He was dumped on his own to figure it out on his own. The closer he got things got distant. He didn't want them to go but it was hurting holding on. He wanted them around but that chapter in his life was over.
It wasn't about him but thought what would it take to make them stay.
He couldn't get close or open up hiding in his feelings. Hoping his emotions wouldn't get the best of him. He would get mad and irritated because that life wasn't fun or the same anymore.
He felt like the joy was gone or things lost value had no meaning. Left alone on the outside looking in once inside it was whatever. All the weight and burden fell on him.

Working for his while others given it all did nothing but complain. They had way more it was never enough. He had nothing made the most of with what he had. Working his **** off because he didn't grow up with money.
He was always in work mode he started to read more. He always put others first never gave himself credit but would feel insulted when others tried to claim him and his efforts for things that needed to be done.
He didn't get along with leads things got done. He didn't care for micro managing or doing other peoples work. They took all the credit when they didn't help or contribute.
He didn't empower egos or power trips. So many took what he loved gutted it and tried to make it their own.
Working in silence behind the scenes coming up with new material using life experiences and encounters to tell stories to free himself from the anxiety caused by others be free from life frustrations express himself in a healthy manner.

Over a misunderstanding conflict occured. He didn't get his way his demeanor changed. Willing to bad mouth your character. make you out to be the bad guy since his life was in shambles. Sad how the respect went out the window from close to distant. The ties were cut family or not you don't try to expose a person because things aren't going your way.
Another scapegoat instead of owning up. More lies more betrayal and shady scandals going on. Better to walk away than be involved. Its heart breaking they say never again but its not the first or last time.
Neglecting responsibility making this appear worthless a lost cause. The value was gone meaningless not holding any value used it up then away with it onto the next.
Another reason to not get involved or care no remorse or sympathy.

He was tired and sore tired of everyone talking about everyone. He gave his all while others act like they do everything acting like they help everyone. Its for their own selfish gain. Doing way more than the person running their mouth.
He didn't care for all these made up rules others made. Be this way do that and they don't even do it. A bunch of noise being made that doesn't help others benefit. He just focused on the work he didn't care about gossip or work politics.
He was thankful and grateful for his job. It was very demanding. He busted his **** took pride in his work. He didn't speak Spanish so he got the 3rd degree. Being Mexican born in the US they see you as privileged and lazy.
He did those impossible jobs and jobs no one wanted to do.

Being the voice of reason
Made him numb detach feelings
Focused on the task not the problem
He loved too much expecting equality
Ending up disappointed feeling betrayed
No one has his heart or cared as much
Usually in the back working hard
Saying how he felt got him hurt
The worse is when he catches feelings
Gets a crush on a person of interest
Never thinks the same it's complicated
Or feel the same way back

Finding peace and closure while writing
Stopped complaining started praying
Making the most of things thankful
Gave it all to God learning to forgive
Learning to be patient focused on health
Want it now not later determined to live
Waiting for a match the right liver
God's time and will have faith
Got lost in the word not the world
Try not to lose hope impatiently waiting
A close call that didn't happen
Overwhelmed with anxiety
Praying for the moment to be in the OR
A new ***** to get rid of the jaundice
Yellow eyes and bad skin dieing inside
Look healthy be able to be normalish
No more pain and suffering hiding it
Being bold strong when scared as hell

Older now not feeling the same
Everyday something new
Time for some change
Family divided not always getting along
Thought about relocating
Never needed until you're gone
But things never change
Always forgotten felt invisible at the time
Missed them but there's no going back

He was the bad guy because he had an idea. The funny guy wasn't laughing anymore. He had love and respect, but they had no regards for his feelings. He did all the grunt work with a smile burnt out from it all.
He didn't replace them but they were quick to fill his spot. Sad to see them go but he couldn't wait anymore. Racing the clock feeling like time was running out. Against all odds like always.
A So called friend tried to get under his skin. Trying to get a reaction he was quick to flip it call them on the crap. Show no emotions or feelings a stone face. Blocking out the pain protecting the heart.

Never wanted or claimed
Made his own way
At the bottom
Looking up saying one day
Trying to be more
Aiming for the top
One day be know for efforts
Hard work pays off pushing through
Missing everyone going solo
Staying strong hurting inside
Emotions hidden starting to show
Working through the bad
Hoping it turns out accordingly

As a writer I have so many mind sets writing comedy and lyrics started writing scripts.
I'm trying to master my art and skill even though I keep things basic. My days feel long lost after being fired from a job I loved over an idiot who got to me and in my head.
I've been mad at my friend she breaks up and goes back with her idiot boyfriend. Shes a smart and pretty girl who settles for less. I'm always treated different I'd rather be doing my own thing it means everything to me.
I get involved with crowds I take on their drama even though it's not mine good friends stick around about you can have their back once they move on it makes things easier. You had plans but they never went accordingly that the problem with the film industry

He was called a player but she was the one messing around on him. His friends would talk bad about him. The girls would find him more interesting than the guy pursuing her.  He got called weird for being himself while others pretended to be someone they are not.
So many sick twisted labels by others. He had trust issues the girl he liked said no a week later ended up with hid best friend. The same girl who made out with his brother. His family with their tough love his efforts never felt good enough.
He loved to jog but the stress was too much causing him to lose interest. Gave it up for a girl who tried to change him. He was tired of making her happy when she was always mad making him feel it was never good enough.

This love was wrong
Could never be right
Another argument at night
This mind is strong blocking it all out
While this hear is weak
Fear of being alone disconnected
Hanging in there empty inside
A failed lover fading passion
Cheap romance won't advance
Scars run deep down to the core
Strangers who dk each other anymore

Not agreeing with the labels
Playing the games anymore
Wasting time with the wrong ppl
Forgiving and moving on
Letting go of all the bad vibes
Since it does nothing just toxic
Needed space feeling smothered
Got close caught up with feelings
hopes up was mistaken hyped up
Made assumptions got hurt
Hearts not the same wanting different
Other things in mind the process

He got another call for the transplant it was a no go within the guidelines. It ruined his day and he still went to work.
Doing extra he wanted to be a lead, but was behind the scenes. Biting his lip because he was waiting for the surgery. Holding back because he knew he'd be out recovering.
Those calls get him worked up then burnt out when he got the bad news. He'd reflect on his life asking "what he did wrong?" Asking when and "why hasn't it happened yet?"
Writing helped him put life into perspective. Trying to write his story and control his narrative. He couldn't explain or find the words.

He went out with family everyone made a fun. All he did was work and home no life outside of that it bugs him how they judged him for trying to live life. He wasn't married or didn't have kids.
He paid his rent and was being responsible even though work bored him. All he did was write on his down time. If he didn't train with his cousin he kept to himself. He loved sports but when the world shutdown. He didn't know what to do. He got lost in his thoughts it drove him insane. He tried to be a better person while everyone got worse with their problems and burdens imposing their frustration on others.

They imposed their way he preferred to not be involved anymore. They'll tell him he's wrong but never notice their wrong doing. Over at ******* hours of the night a cousin that's the younger version of his mother. She imposed he way burdened others with an opinion no one asked.
After a while you block out all the talk all the gossip that has nothing to do with you. Feeling under value not appreciated. He always asked why are these terrible people are given more

He liked her company the conversations were stimulating
He would get lost in her light green eyes
His big brown eyes opened wide with nervousness
Smiled and polite his honesty got him in trouble
It was easier to be a friend then much more
He feared her thinking less of him if things got rushed
All in his head overthinking wild thoughts
Standing confident at peace enjoying the moment

Hard to forgive yourself, one of your worse critics. Willing to help others not able to put yourself first, being selfless. Hungered to get ahead tried to make it called selfish. Breaking down the walls that hide the emotions caged in wanting to get out.
Trying to show emotions without them being used as a weapon. Share feelings without them being ignored feeling disrespected. Trying to smile not be consumed by madness caused by others.

Talking about getting paid prior to the transplant he knew it would be temporary. He had to bounce back quick. He didn't want anyone taking care of him or have to rely on anyone. Minding his mouth because if he said something wrong it would cause his caretaker to act differently.
He needed a ride for appointments but asking felt like begging. Interrupting that person's day made it feel like an inconvenience. Some people see an apology like submitting. While others see peace and closure. Hoping to move on be normal things will never be the same.
It's better to move on and stay away.
He was ready to bounce back from the surgery. Worried about being tired seemed to always tired. Afraid to be alone while use to it. Being a college drop out really complicated things. His mind wanted to finish what he started. Trying to find a balance.

Always willing to help others in time of need. If I ever need help, I can't rely, or depend on anyone. It's been a struggle biting my lip minding my mouth said, " your hard work, and efforts will pay off. Doing my job and trying not to stress out. Always helping family, trying to make everyone's life some what easier; while my life feels complicated. Sometimes it feels like I have no say or control.
Made time for things that matter, feels like time is running out. Don't mind doing favors but some people act like they've never been helped or like the favors done; before don't matter, or mean anything.
Don't always have anyone to talk with, or vent to that's why I write. Not one to complain everyone thinks their problems are more important than to take others into consideration. Sad to deal with these stubborn unwilling to change people.
Over being ignored and treated like no body. Once someone needs a favor all of a sudden others include thought remembered for a moment. After everyone gets their way things go back to cold, forgotten for another long moment

Fell in love with the curse
Denying feelings made it worse
Hoping she's fix what she broke
Leaving with those pieces
Putting yourself back together
Learned the lesson do better
No going back to what broke you
Aged with the pain fading memories
In the present good vibes remains

Done with things, I've always kept others on track. ***** recovering from surgery and the people that claim to help you hide and help you are no where to be found. It's hard to set boundaries because of my medical condition. I need their help  for mild things but if I was healed I wouldn't ask.
I understand people live and have their own lives, but don't say something unless you are going to honor it. I'm not going to slander them like did to me while I'm in recovery. I let those loose tongues flow because they'll get themselves caught up.
Pursuing my faith has me Forgiving and moving on.
There's a voice that wants to take them down. It's better to turn away focus on what matters. You brought them up with you wishing you left them behind you. Once you see and know how a person is you avoid them because they are the ones building you up then quick to knock you down.

He stopped empowering the crazy that fueled the family hatred. Everyone wanted him to be or act a certain way. Focused on his goals and dreams he stopped making excuses anxious to get it done make it happen. He could see himself graduating with his college degree its part of his journey he started but life took him away from it. Working part time but doing fill time jobs.
He met so many people on his journey met the right ones. That would connect him with the right in the right direction. He got support instead of trying to prove himself to be accepted. Learning about mutual love and respect instead of everything being so one sided. Working hard waking up sore with lower back pain. Trying not to stress out over things he has no say or control over.
He always had writing to see it put things into context sometimes things would happen and didn't always know how to act or respond. He learned to walk away instead of carry the burdens of the world on his shoulders.
Someone was always mad or holding a grudge he wasn't responsible for their happiness. They chose to behave and act that way. He did his best to not hurt others or get hurt.

Always opent to change
Someone is always hating
Dress up seen as a sell out
Under dress seen as a ***
Never lazy earning the keep
Doing the job with pride
Said it couldn't be done
Pushing through the crazy
Been here before standing tall
Doesn't phase the thick skin
Live and learn with age
Meant to grow can't stay small
Big personality against an ego
Once you give up walk away
Turned your back on the hater
They try to slander your name
Your rep is worse can't bring shame

Doing what's right because they said it couldn't be done.
Doing extra because you take care of your people.
Not one to use an illness as an excuse
Thankful for the job give it all
Show up ready while everyone else gives up
Tired of hearing the lazy people complain
Be the solution stop being the problem
Bad attitudes ruin the day
This temper will Make it worse
It's better to take walk away
Take a time out focus on the work

Use to be angry things never went my way. It was an uphill battle I plowed through got to the top but took a beating along way. Dealing with people that don't value and expect me to cater to their feelings.
I write because if I vent the person seems to have a sad story that tops mine. It's not a competition the worse I'd I shut down ignore what I'm feeling; whats on my mind. It ***** I have to seek professional help so I can be there for my friends. Writing is cheap therapy.
Trying to to live and share my experiences to let others know they are not alone. I love funny stories I feel like it could only happen to me. I share them to cheer others up. I relive moment putting a smile on others face.

The building feels like home
It allowed him to grow
Build confidence over time
Learned to trust in his skills
Believe in himself without doubt
Ready for the next level
It never came but now it's here
Not afraid facing fears can't hold back
With stone cold stare not intimidated
Without flinching or backing down
Being consumed by one filling the void
The other the past heart of memories
Can't deny rich history trying to grow
In the middle of manipulation sighing
Want to break free do what's loved
Feels right without outside factor

Having to stretch now that I'm older
Not healing up so much wear and tear
Onto to the next level lots of growth
Can't stay the same numb to pain
Friends become foes distant strangers
Family rivals more arguments
It's your life not about them
They can't shadow steal your thunder
Not saying a word sitting in silence
Making it easy to write fill the page
Feeling complete getting relieve Processing thoughts getting it all out