He waited in the restaurant
It was a blind date
They chatted online
The day came for them to meet
It was his first date in years
A nervous unsettling feeling within
She would walk in the door
Her hair black big brown eyes
They'd hug it out enjoy a meal
Getting to know one another in person
Both giving it a chance for more
After they met online they came together
Over being single trying to find love
Trying something new different

He struggled with work but didn't want to argue
They opposed him and went against then had the nerve to expect a favor
Sometimes they loved him
Other times they ignored them
He didn't care for the selective behavior
Trying to get the work done
No one communicates at all
He was over work too much drama
Just wanted to have a brew
They tested his moral compass
While they did their shady deeds
He hated it was over the insults

Getting sober is a must
It's a lonely journey
No going back
Some respect your decisions
Others hate on your decisions
They thought you'd never change
Only a matter of time till you get ahead
No one can take you down
Only you can feeling sorry for yourself
Let those negative block your path
Toxic people destroy your perception
Don't let them sabotage your dreams
Keep working behind the scenes
That moment will come to rise above
Where you'll surpass those low experts
Others try to project on you for being lazy
No longer the scapegoat obsorb the blame
Never more the whipping boy
Slipped out and free from the crazy
Use to take it on its a lost cause

Playing kick ball body still aches
Mind feels young but the body reacts
Being able to open up is new
Speaking up and being heard is new
Working hard and appreciated took time
A whole new experience growth
Compared to jobs that don't care use you
Usually professional doing the work
Not focused on drama or distracted by outside factors

Growing up avoiding eye contact getting mad dogged in the process. As I get older it's hard to make wye contact because I catch myself doing the same. Emotional eyes filled with personality.
Against so many odds trying to break the family curse. Be the one who made it. Never been about knocking others. Trying to bring them up with me. Sometimes I need to do this alone. ***** I'm a private person like if the world is out to get me. Always going to be me not be place in there's boxes. I aged out too old for all these made up rules that limit my motions.
Spoke up now everyone is mad. No one feels bad for you.

Woke up writing tired of fighting
Contemplating asking myself
Do I need this, do I want that
Made it to that next level
Asking what's next
It's all about maintaining
Building off what's been done
Fear of starting over been hear before
Adding on to what's already known
Look forward to learn something new

He finally passed his test and got an interview things were on the ups getting better. He cut away from the older crowd because they act like his world evolves around them. He didn't like them being selective about being involved in his life. If he opened up to vent it wasn't for them to feel superior. He thought he could trust them with his feelings but he was wrong.
He became private now everyone tries to pry. He got tired of everyone ignoring him showing no interest in his life. He'd listen to everyone's problems trying provide solutions to be ignored.
He has a support group of all the most random people but he could be himself around

There was no going back
Had to come up with something
Did everything possible came up short
Ran out of moves stuck moving still
Part of the progress getting better
Not one to settle for less sharp focus
Trying not to obsess on the wrong
Still working for it doing what's right
Not about crowds a true rebel
Everyone out for their own

The struggle to fit in he walked away
Always writing to rid the pain away
Honest with them not telling lies
Hide the truth with cover ups
Treated different for being loyal
Doing what's right from the heart
Clean head on his shoulders true
Others causing a fight walked out
Feeling attacked standing this ground
Ready to speak up didn't want drama

The girl next door everyone liked her so you had no interest. Pretending not to care but there was emotions that remained hidden. She seemed to like everyone expect you. You heard her complain about her bf and going back to the exes that continued to hurt her.
You got hurt because there was nothing you could do. Acting on those urges would lead to losing her as a friend. Felt like everything went wrong trying to protect her. Eventually you fade out focused on those rare good times. That brought joy from a tough child hood. Memories faded away moving hard to do but became second nature.

Trying to get it right keep at it
Tired from getting it wrong
Everyone divided due to pride
Egos casting shadows of negativity
Thoughts of doing right not doing so
Acts of deceitful behavior

Growing older observing and listening
Seeing these kiddos become adults
Pray they are not like the parents

Changed his mindset because everyone makes drama and can't get along. You can't say anything but they think they have the right to judge everyone. They get use to disrespecting everyone acting like people owe them. Would rather be an outcast than pretend to be someone else. Not going through them for other things that go on. Strongly dislike when other people's crap becomes others problems which has nothing to do with them.

He was the bad guy rumors spread
By people who had no say or control over his life
False narrative to justify their harsh behavior
Trying to manipulate others to do the same
He gets why people cut the cord
Why you should match energies
Not let them drain your good vibes
Changing for the better not less
One minute the are behind you
Hyping you up now they oppose you
Not taking them on or bothering
You helped them while they were down
Now their up trying to knock you like if its some kind of trade off

Been writing for years don't need much to be happy. Making the most of things and what's given. So many haters and doubts quick to turn on you once they don't get their way.

Talking about you no one is talking about them. Trying to get the best of you while they are at their worse. Knock you down while you put out your best not competing or comparing just working hard. Focused on the task staying strong growing in the craft.

Reaching out to those mentors and those who remained loyal. Those that stayed true that's hard to come about now a days. Earning your place so many think it's given. Helping the team keeping them united. While everyone is divided due to personal issues.

I know I'm getting older when I don't care to argue. If you do the work it will fall into place. Tired of dealing with people that dk my story and expect me to give up what I'm doing or step aside because they think my efforts don't matter.
I respect your choices and decisions don't try to intrude on my time and efforts with an opinion no one asked for. I'll give my opinion when asked I don't go out of my way to impose my beliefs on others.
Everyone grew up and raised differently I was taught to work hard for yours. No one is going to do it for you. I understand things change but I was taught it was wrong so I'm not going to do it.
I learned to stick to my morals and stay close to my beliefs. Grew up low income and willing to help/ work hard because I know what it's like to go without.

Tired of fighting an uphill battle
Don't want to walk away, no reason to stay
Not one to quit, beyond fed up
Annoyed how lazy are given more opportunities
Working hard ignored determined to move up
Can only go so far limited movement
eventually looking something new
Wanted it more then most denied
Now I'm leaving all pretending to care
Made my presents known gave my all
Now I'm gone the change start a new chapter turn the page

Learning to stand tall focusing on faith
The world taking swings you hype them up
Trying to bring them up with you
As they knock you making it personal
Some own a home looking down on the fam
Others in a toxic relationship judging the rest
Telling everyone to change not doing better
Remaining the same let people live their life
Be there full time none of this selective
Show that you care full time be real not fake
Stop pretending to care just shrug it off
Others mind their mouth out of respect
Most of all their business not getting involved
Trying to be fair help the situation
Placed on a side stuck in the middle
Chasing a dream they said was crazy
Making those goals seem impossible
Been on it for years over come fears
Holding back frustration and tears

friends come and go like the seasons
some I miss, but pride and ego
keeps us divided rather than talking it out
mistakes were made, and apologizes were not accepted
good times are over, but not forgotten
losing a friend while holding a grudge
never going to see them again
friendships ended for relationships
couples become partners start a family
I wish you nothing but the best
the fork in the road
takes up to different places
some on borrowed time with health issues
others in the struggle trying to get by
life's a ride make the most of it
doing what's right from the heart
don't care about being right
moving onto the next chapter
doing it alone staying strong
make the most of things with what you got

Woke up sore from training and cardio he wanted to get back to doing it slowly work for it. He wasn't use to it or sure he'd get back to those crazy obsessed dazes.
Older now not stressing over body image all he wanted was for his clothes to not fit so tight or snug. He lacked a social life that would soon consume him distracting him from his training.
Dieting was key but hard since he was an emotional eater his job was demanding he was on the go making time. finding balance was the hard part.

Been told never get comfortable always rushing and missing out. More to life than work things never turned out as planned but make the most of everything. Earned every cent. Passion for writing the only time emotions can come out and shine. Show feelings without doubt, or regret sharing. It's hard to trust others feel safe because they'll try to get the best of you.

Took all the pain to stay sane
Bad memories remain immunity
Our situation shattered circumstance
Inspired by frustration overcoming it all
Not enough for the judgemental family
Too much for the toxic world

He wanted to be able to write without his frustrations. It took him back to a place he hated mentally he wasn't there anymore. Not empowering the people that criticize him or wasting his time trying to prove himself. He's never going to be accepted get their approval.
Writing was his escape his outlet closure and peace came out of it. People got in his head but it was his life and he was the one doing it. No matter what it was on him in the end.
Write poems about things he loved
Share without it being warped and twisted
Sit in a room without being judged
Without feeling like he did something wrong
Be himself without being told off for caring
Once he stopped caring it bugged him
Knew it was time to move on
Prayed because he ******* up
Made a mess walked into the insanity
Didn't go where he felt uncomfortable
Never again he told himself been here before
Didn't like. the outcome was the same
Now it's worse being provoked
Made it unsafe chose to be silent
Close himself off  didn't feel the same
The thought process the emotions stirred up
Once it settled down he felt better
Stayed calm collected after being frazzled
Its going to be alright, it's going to be okay
Not always sure but knew things would get better.

From analyzing everything to living in the moment. Getting away from those burdens that try to weigh you down. Doing your own thing while others are stuck in their burdens. Being consumed by misery burned out from the routine
Seeing everything as a blessing an opportunity rising up instead of letting everyone rip tear down the dream. Focused on good rather than expecting the worse. Trying to stay sharp being distracted living up to old standards that keep you at your best.

He was worried about the transplant
Lost in his writing being productive
He'd rather live life than be distracted
Picked friendships over his relationships
Both never returned the favor
Dealing with trust issues overcome
Told the truth facing confrontation
His rivals are manipulating cheaters
Trying to take him down No surrender
Not backing down taking on other battles
Stood his ground easier to walk away
Enemies loaded full of lies
In the line of fire taking shots
Now all alone with health issues

Did the work with his whole being
Didn't know what to do with it
Moments of life sharing
Help others get through
Those tough times not alone
Standing up after being down
It doesn't hurt becoming immune
Use to being ignored not bothered
Talking no one was listening
Took it as an insult not saying anything
Gave it all everything got rejected
Learned to walk away found value
From an open book to private
Now everyone fakes interest
Pretending to care not the scapegoat
Do your ***** deeds own up not blame others

Writing about equality and fairness
Not for me but for those that feel lost
Alone in those tormenting emotions
Dealing with people is hard
Who tried to knock you for it
What's worse is when its family
Your close friends fake to your face
Talking behind your back
You respect them to tell them straight up

It ***** we don't talk anymore
We use to be close really good friend
Holding a grudge divided us
Things were said misunderstood
An apology not accepted
Forgiveness is wanted but not given
Friendships ends over ego and pride
Relationships destroyed in a power struggle
One lives a lie while being angered by the truth

He asked her out she agreed but they needed to plan the time and place. He was anxious to go being patient trusting everything would work out part of the plan.
The last time he dated was college. He met people and didn't commit because it was never an option. He wanted more struggling to find balance while pursuing the career. He didn't end up doing any of it just an average Joe working a job back home a lifer resident in his home town.
Wanting to escape his city had his heart. Hated being home missing it while he was away. Thought he was missing out showing it love not getting any back in return. At the local dive bar with the regulars some left home and others never been outside of the circle the neighborhood the only thing known.

He was a mess inside dealing with things. He could talk about it but felt like no one would understand. He didn't like being told what to do but open to suggestions.

He's blessed but one the sidelines. He woke up from the surgery. A new look on life a second chance looking back and going back wasn't an option

Time heals aching pain
Obsession fades away
Lust was never real love
Blurred lines crossed
Free from looping thoughts
Mind hungers for wisdom
Deprived of healing
Seeking spiritual health

He had a cup of coffee to pursue an adventure. Waking up hearing the couple next door argue. Writing in his room to sharpen his focus. Plotting and planning his next move. Over all the hurt and pain living life another way.

He worked harder than everyone
All they did was cause heat with hate
Throw shade causing a dilemma
All he wanted was to master his craft
Stay out of all the scandalous politics
Made up rules full of corruption
Contradicting double standards
Focused on the work with pride
Not saying anything words get twisted
Clear mind head on his shoulders
Getting older no time for games
Not causing others pain staying strong
Walking away from toxic peeps
Washing away the past breaking free
A cleansed heart from tough love

How is that a friend someone who tries to get under your skin. Talk about sabotage that's messed up. He minded his mouth but when he spoke up it usually got him hated.
The frustration dealing with people who dumped their work on him. He got it done but didn't feel like a friend or things are done professionally. He made the most of thing did his job and went home.
Doing what he could with his limited time. Trying to make a difference leave things better than how he found them. Stood up alone feeling provoked.

Wanting to talk no ones listening
Not wanting to talk use to being alone
Everyone expects you to open up
You to spill your heart making it hard
After being ignored hard to trust
Don't want to do the job anymore
At the bottom with no options or say
Gave an opinion not being heard
Doing 8 hours of work in 5
Trying to survive not motivate
Proving them wrong doing it better
Told there was someone qualified
That deserved the job giving it all
Not good enough while doing extra
Falling out with the old loved it all
Not to fond of the new plowing thru

Learning to trust again
Hard to trust so many are broken
The girl you like ends up with your friend
A friend wouldn't do that
The girl you love says no to being your gf
A week later end up with another guy
People you love slander your name
All this talk behind your back is cowardly
Honest to their face that's true respect
A true friend will listen be open to your face
Bad mouth over a girl passing through
Secrets are kept in this ear mouth is silent
My secrets told right away
Thought it was safe to share
Not able to vent but write it all out

Nice to have an adult conversation where no one gets mad or hates you for having an opinion. Speak your mind and not have them think less of you.
Recovering focused on work get my area back in check. Trying to help train people because dealt with people, who claim to know but have no clue.
If your bust your **** and listen people will help you. But if you think you know it all,  people won't bother with you. I've learned to be humble by minding my mouth and business. Still open to grow and learn.