The things you don't want to talk about
The things that hurt you cause suffering
Those pains make you stronger, better
Dealing with those cluttered emotions
A pondering mind makes it worse
Confrontation minimizes pent up anxiety
Made up scenarios that never happen
Things feel real compared to reality
Staying calm levels it out keeping peace
Acting on that frustration cause chaos
Disconnected from uncomfortable situations
Know your worth trust your value
Others disagree don't lower yourself
Criticism makes you better not setttle

Putting his body through hell
Taking the punishment to clear his mind
Waking up with a sore and tender body
Lower back pain that rang through the nerves
In the mirror seeing a swelled face that took a beating
Flirting with pain obsessed with the agony
The tortured soul finding pleasure in the insanity

She texted him let's catch up
Then didn't hear from her
He had a crush never acted on it
She was a good friend
Didn't want to ruin a good thing
He was bad at opening up
Afraid she would think less of him
She told him everything felt safe
Appreciated her thought highly of her

The unsung hero
Going the extra mile
Staying positive all the time
Even when things are bad
Does the ***** work
Used up tossed away
Doing what's right
While others do wrong
Decisions are made
Could be doing more
Settled for less
Down playing intellect
Could be do better

Use to be a lead learning to be part of the team use to being solo. Showing up isn't enough being reliable and dependable no life outside of that more rules to follow being lead to another location. Adapting to the ways and adjusting to new people trying to keep it flowing mindset growing and changing.

Training with my cousin for his fight annoyed it got postponed. It was helping build confidence and keeping my mind sharp. Always scared to show love or get attached things get taken away or never go according to plan. Been hanging in there ready to break out start over new. Tired of drifting being let go dragged around wandering lost when it feels close to being there. I dont like when things end but it means level up.

I pray things go back to normal
No more masks able to go out without fear
Of getting infected
Infecting others so much toxic in the world
Other than the virus
Seen more bad than good
Focus on being a better
While there is so much struggle
Families collide over political views
Children at home not able to interact
This country great and free
The people argue for power
Trying to erase and rewrite history
Lost identities struggle to be a whole

I love family but it's not a competition. So what you own a house and your not doing me any favors. I paised you as you rose up while you stomped me down. Never happy unless they make it about you. I've always seen you as an equal just because you have no say or control of my life you're threatened.
It ***** when family is divided over. Had to say anything because someone gets mad and doesn't talk. Just because grandpa passed doesn't mean your in control. Everyone is a bunch of hard working individuals trying to get by no one needs you to make their life more complicated

Trying to get it right keep at it
Tired from getting it wrong
Everyone divided due to pride
Egos casting shadows of negativity
Thoughts of doing right not doing so
Acts of deceitful behavior

Growing older observing and listening
Seeing these kiddos become adults
Pray they are not like the parents

Having writers block ***** sometimes you write about all the possibilities or things you'd like to happen. Sometimes just doing it is more rewarding, doesn't always happen the way it plays out in your head. Sometimes its the worse outcome other times a surprise it actually happened. A shocked it went down that way.

Growing up knowing better so many things that are taboo have become socially accepted. Changing your mindset is hard but somethings aren't good anyway. Not one to force or impose beliefs on anyone. Mostly respectful of others choices and decisions.
Once you disagree or speak up they try to exclude or cut you out because you had an opinion not respecting your differences. Its foolish and selfish for them to expect you to give up; who you are so they could be happy.
They want you to change, but already going through changes.
Minding your mouth and business is easy seems life everyone is trying to get inside your head. Don't give or tell them anything because they'll try to rob you of your peace.

It ***** we don't talk anymore
We use to be close really good friend
Holding a grudge divided us
Things were said misunderstood
An apology not accepted
Forgiveness is wanted but not given
Friendships ends over ego and pride
Relationships destroyed in a power struggle
One lives a lie while being angered by the truth

He grew up as an outcast because he wanted to better himself. He never thought he was better than anyone. So many tried to use his flaws against him. He was fat mind worried about body image. Born is the US spoke English still shunned by his own people. Finding reasons to criticize and talk about him.

All he did was mind his business from an open book to private. Holding back hiding who he was so people could leave him alone. Feeling like he might do something wrong or be accused of something that he didn't even do.

Always respectful even to the people that tried to damage his reputation because they weren't where they wanted to be in life. It wasn't his fault or problem. All he wanted was to exist get along without putting up with others bad moods attitudes that would ruin his day.

He had to learn and teach himself since no one wants to play that role anymore. Willing to do the work even if they would discredit him. Working his

He was a fighter too many snakes slithering like if they believed in him. They opposed him and usually against him. What did they want why are they being so nice when he was use to them being cut throat. He didn't want them riding his coat tail. He didn't want to associate with them.
Everyone grew distant at one point was very close. Divided because everyone would taunt and provoke you comparing your life with those that aren't like you.

His writing would get him in trouble like his mouth. Telling the truth made others see the truth but didn't how to deal with it. He got it off his chest writing with anger didn't do any favors.
When he wrote it was about how others made him feel and wrote what he thought to escape all the anguish it caused him. Letting others know they arent the only one or alone.

He loved the sport and coaching for it. Feeling aged out but missed so much. Times have changed everyone tries to be a brand or product instead of being invested in the sport. He didn't care for gimmicks just hard working individuals that give their all.
Drilling hard going through the motions. The urge within is deep learning and listening to improve. The thoughts are looping, piecing together all the technique.
His mind was ******* up after failed love being with the wrong person who didn't believe in him. He didn't have to prove himself when he did it was for all the wrong people.
He knew the highs and lows the dark side of the sport. Missing the mats getting back into it doing pad work. He was obsessed before lost his focus now he's focused trying to learn and teach others what he knows they can grow and improve.

Joking about an ex if she came back
Years of misery not finding peace
The life he wanted came up short
Happened for someone else
Feeling cheated going strong
Focused on truth not accepting lies
Trying to be the same keep it together
Everything changed learned to adapt
Able to adjust never feeling enough
Giving everything to get things done
Hard work paying off moving up
Good things happening new roles
Not feeling robbed by sneaky fakes
Wished her the best moved on
Doing what's best living life
Taking in the moment to the fullest
Making them count full of potential

Hate this feeling trapped inside, so many hidden emotions within surfacing. Everyone is struggling going through something. Frustrations going through the motions all stag tones flat lining. Not sure how to feel or what to think anymore. Stay safe, wear a mask.
Writing more can't talk to anyone so-called friends MIA. Thankful to be working getting paid. Some days are better than others; easier to make it through the shift. Lifting your spirit give it to God and pray.

Working for it nothing is given
His aunt told him
"you weren't born rich, you have to work"
Trying to move up against the odd
Family his greatest supporter
Also the biggest critics full of hate
Broke free from the draining peeps
Stopped giving advice no one listens
Lent an ear tired of looping sad stories
Pursuing his goals towards success
Hoping to achieve them doing them

All you wanted was to make it
Share that moment with everyone
All they did was ruin it look down on you
From caring too much to not giving a ****
You valued them always much love
Now all they do is hate on you
The disrespect made it easier to step
Not giving them a reason to talk
No longer enabling them to have a say
Staying away doing more than before
Free to do whatever not married
Able to enjoy life no kids choices were made
He worked hard trying to get paid
Made more so about anyone anymore
Stayed out got more confidence
Brought in feeling drained not the stepping stone
No longer the scapegoat found closure
Being a rebel alone getting it done
Making it fun over complicated drama

Sometimes you watch everything to make sure it's safe. All these lies not sure why he stayed. He thought They'd do the right thing. All he needed was a chance an opportunity someone to believe.
Half the time it was a struggle ignored but only talked to when they needed something. Covered for people he couldn't expect the same. Learned to not depend or rely on him. When he though they had his back it would end up being thrown in his face. The betrayal was infuriating. He learned to say NO and keep a distance.

He was in love with her and didn't want anyone else. She called him a player when she was the one making the rules to her game. He wanted her to be his one and only. Turns out he was her one of many not the only one she was involved with stringing them along.
He forgave her accepted her flaw and all turns out it was not meant to be. Love was his drug addicted and could never get that fix to be satisfied the more he tried she got more distant. He couldn't figure it out trying to understand make sense of it all.
Eventually he walked away learning only he could make himself happy and not leave it in the hands of others. Even though he loved her he wasn't responsible for her happiness. He had to wise up protect his heart since it was being tormented by someone who didn't match how he felt or put forth the same amount of every.

I'm gonna chill even though I'm bored  out of my mind
Trying to think about it when it's easier when things are in motion
Ocwrthinking and having nothing. A clear mind
Back on his own forgot about the freedom use to the routine.
Change is good but hard to focus when the bad becomes normal
The mind racing not use to down time
Feeling like all the hard work is being undone long gone forgotten.

Having writers block *****. Not trying to complain over things I have no say or control over. Just grow from them. You're way stronger than most because you stepped up you've experienced success and failed but willing to learn get better. Always growing not always a win but trying while the critics make no effort they expect you to fail but you refuse to lose and settle striving forward.
The girl you loved was promiscuous
A girl who claimed to love you cheated
Fired from something better came along
Starting to slow down be more technical

Some days are easy working for it
While others are hard barely getting by
Trying to be strong for family
Keep trucking for peers a team player
Giving your everything possible
Feels like it's not enough exhausted
Eating right, struggling with energy
Feeling more energized taking risks
From one of the guys doing your part
Doing what needs to be done
Working hard to become the guy
Want to be able to be normal
This health condition is not an excuse
Over doctors' appointments never ending
Giving blood scans and tests
Mental health draining talking about it
Feeling restless pulled in many directions

Taking pride in his work feeling insulted
By those who just show up and whatever
Giving his all while others careless about him and his efforts
Told himself work harder set the bar
Raise the standards give them value
Watched them leave it all behind
While he established himself trying to make a difference
Being knocked by everyone but bouncing back
Told he couldn't do it but did it anyway
They said it didn't matter but it made a difference
On the outside looking in once he got in
After being kept out it wasn't the same anymore

Loved them to be rejected
Closed off hiding in the shell
Being funny made out to be mean
Honest with words many are laughing
Walked away no reason to stay
Let them win and they are still mad
Couldn't make them happy
Caring for others with this heart
Hoping love would be returned
Not responsible for their actions
Energy and emotions are not matched
Taking so much draining the soul
Gave feelings ripped off and cheated
Emotions shutting down going numb
Never goes right or according to plan
Deceived by beauty the soul is tainted
Getting closer wanting to be loved
Pushed away being tested set up to fail

He seen the struggle between others and realized he's not there. He heard the conversation that he wanted hear but things didn't turn out accordingly. In the end it didn't matter anymore. Trying to grow too many detours and check points. He didn't mind working with people but didn't like waiting or relying on others there's a process so many assume but dk. While others dk but still trying to learn.
Open to learn some older generations don't teach they assume or expect you to know their way. Too much coddling while the other is neglected. You are the favorite the team hates you or you do all the work and not well accepted been on both sides of the argument.
Being fair not trying to step on toes but don't like these toes being stepped on.

He sat in his room for hours writing clearing his mind asking abd seeking meaning. Asking. Why this happened, how it all went down. He analyzed everything trying to live and learn from those encounters. Those experiences helped him build character. Doing what he loved things that helped him grow be better. Taking risks on his dreams pursuing goals his life was on hold. He wanted to get back on track.

Sad how everyone changed
Hoping for the better it was worse
This life tough feeling like a curse
Helped they wouldn't do the same
So much frustration causing pain
Learning to trust no respect is gained
Talking about childhood moments
Letting it out not holding on
Feeling free able to talk about it
Not feeling trapped or restrained
Holding on for life don't want it to end
Starting over is hard doing is easy

Time passes when life consumes you
Checking on friends some get married
The ones that claimed to be players
Or said they'd never be tied down
With kids showing emotions
In a relationship showing happiness
Use to them being bitter and angry
Some thin as can be now on the heavy side
The alcoholic sober but respect
Some will grow up being know for immaturity
I think about having a reunion with the crew but the real ones never left my side we don't always talk but we are more than friends family is forever

In silence reading a good trying to educate himself. Thought others would teach him but had to do it himself. Taking in the info trying to process apply things to life. Lots of repetition wanting it more because they told him he couldn't do it.
Said it couldn't be done but he's been doing it without excuses. The things he loved brought him hurt so he tried to find what he loved doing things for the wrong reason trying to make them right.

Reading for ideas and had an inspiring conversation. He had written so many books. Writing with pen and filling his notebooks with ideas and sharing all the things he wish he could've or should've said. his goal was to publish something seeing his name on the cover some of his artwork. He enjoyed the creative process something he could be proud of all his effort time spent working alone.

Working hard years of going unnoticed. Others taking his credit using him as a work horse. Being ignored set aside by gossipers who do thing but talking like they do everything. Not caring to argue or debate anymore.
Things are changing they are giving him his props. It was unexpected but a rewarding feeling. Glad change was occurring in everyone's favor. Instead of feeding into useless egos. The team was united on the same page instead of divided.

Finding passion in the ink
Emotions in the pages
Thoughts flowing coping with peace
Not carrying others burdens
Staying out use to being kept out
Not worth the fight would rather be writing
Too many imposing instead of informing
Educate instead of discrimination
Trying to understand not give into demands
Seeing others as an equal being respectful
Not empowering wild ideals
Keeping up original morals

Not always going to be liked
Faced criticism the world goes black
Taking on chores more than most
Being ******* without any emotions.
Feelings catching up building up
Not sure how to feel thought about it.
Giving your all its never enough.
Staying clear overcome the fears.
Drinking the pain away to be numb
It won't go bad memories remain
Doing the job taking on too much
Or doing too little getting by bored
Looking out with the truth
Got nothing but lies in return
Feeling burnt out want to cut the cord
Never associate again not a friend
Better to let it die and end
Dealing with drama a waste of time
No one cares or does anything about it
Quick to point out the problem
Not provide a solution so much talk
Talking about one another's faults
Instead of one another to make it right
Doing the same the nerve to complain

He was thankful to be working
Glad to be free escape the old ways
Those that didn't value his persona
Open mind to change over the routine
Memories remain time for new
Grew up with tough love hard to trust
Not a doormat to be stepped on
Secrets told suppose to be private
Opened up to the wrong people
He valued them as they talked bad
Being different gave him an edge
Took the blame without knowing
Easing the pain of others

He loved his family while some tried to make others look at him differently because he didn't **** up or change who he was. He was already open minded and embraced change. Things didn't always happen when they did he was happy and thankful. He didn't always win told himself be better. Keep working harder one day someone will give him a chance. He never stopped or slowed down. Giving hid all worked hard more determined since the first day. He was told to quit it wasn't worth it and told why give your all they aren't going to do anything with you. He gave his all even if no one cared, he knew it mattered he made a difference.

He started to hate doing favors because he got ******* over in the end. He was glad to help others but they never helped him without an attitude or guilt trip. He was respectful to others.
Most of his peeps didn't take him serious or seen him as a joke. His frustrations high on another level. He was honest and truth most of the time threw BS his way. It was infuriating most of a insulting.
He showed up and wanted to get his work done and be left alone. He was mad the people he help talked about him. Now he's doing both jobs he wanted to quit walk away since everyone else didn't care. Why carry the burden when it wasn't his fault or problem.

Alone for the holidays to keep from getting sick
Family had conflict but feeling unites
Tired of everyone being divided
Tears shed and apologies made
Family is more important than a grudge
An open heart is stronger than a closed mind
Life is to short to be alone
Everyone is hurting wants closure
Find inner peace be able to relax
Too proud to ask for help
Hard up to ask not showing emotions
Don't want to be seen as weak
How long will this feed be drawn out
One keeps talking while the other lives life
Chasing a dream that makes sense within
No one understands or seems to get it
A hug is better than resentment toward a being
Being able to talk without getting attacked
Share without your feelings being used against you

Minding your business then boom blind sided by family
Climbing to get out of the struggle whole everyone has embraced it
Facing the world isn't enough
Feeling betrayed should've been expected
Would never do it to them like they did you
Avoiding people becomes more comforting
Getting hints not bending over backwards
They don't want you to lie
But don't wanna hear the truth
Seen them as a priority treated like an option
Seen them grow up stayed outta the way
Now they are their own person
Coming at you like you owe them
Let's be civil talk things out
Instead of holding a grudge

Meet a nice girl who's not materialistic
Someone accepting that
Doesn't change anything about you
Open to grow together feel like an equal
Not be submissive or treat one bad for power
Something natural not forced rewarding
Not soul ******* and toxic with an ego
Seems easy but it's complicated most of the time

The alcohol didn't bring joy
Lots of shared misery want fun
The back pain pushing through work
Staring at a blank page
Finding those emotions
Feelings that will become words
Not sure what to write pen in hand
Thinking what needs to be said
And how to say it with meaning
In a room with family being ignored
Being talked about being mindful
Never said anything about anyone
Wondering could this work
Crossing boundaries to new areas
Dating was different so much change