He wanted to break this cycle not holding on to the toxic. He didn't always have an opinion or have to say anything. He minded his mouth and kept to himself. Why be around if he couldn't be himself. It wasn't fun or worth it anymore. Not like them better off alone hard to love him when they are trying to tell him who to be and how to act.
He walked away wanting to say something but he'd be ignored so he's not bothering anymore. He wasn't feeding an ego or wasting his time. The world wasn't all unicorns and rainbows. The cord was cut he was free from their judgement and criticism. It hurt but he knew it was the best thing. His days where long and focused on work and writing to make it through. He had a love hate with things but got more hate than love. He blocked out the bad he felt numb because of all the hurt and torment

He loved his elders but they always made it about themselvesq
Ruining the moment to take credit for things they had no part of
He asked for help they blew him off
They didn't believe in him or his dream
It made him mad he was out to prove them wrong
Too short so he was overlooked
Judged harsh because of his skin tone
Held to another standard
Kept out once he was on the inside
The disappointment to find he wasn't missing anything
Making it hard to get by while others pass through
He'd have to bust his *** to make this happen.
Not being taken serious was disrespectful
Being ignored trying to bring new ideas
Shut down for having an opinion
Pushed out for being different
Not the same anymore determined to make it be more

He stared at the mats knew it was home. The fear of getting an injured walking with a bummed knee. Stretching to feel right do better drilling. Making three points of contact, cupping to secure the submission. Breaking the guard with knee slicers.
Trying to get the technique down so it could work more effectively.
Gi vs No Gi two different worlds learning to be patient every action leads to a reaction. Bruised up from training sore and tender muscles.

Not going to overreact after being burned
Have nothing to say the truth is out
No longer listening to lies called to the conference room by the lead who claimed to be a friend. I feeling like a man who got set up to be wacked instead of being made.
Betrayal tastes like baja blast mountain dew. Overwhelmed with same false promise stuck facing the person who took the spot that was said to be mine.

So much on the mind staying pro
Focused on the work double time
Don't care for titles or politics
Work hard or harder take some pride
Please stop talking step it up
Sizing everyone up wasting time
Ain't no one bothering with you
Bad attitude no right to be rude
Pretending to care being petty
Everyone sees through the act
Talking down on everyone
Now your surprised others spoke up
Provoking others the tabs adding up
Thinking there's no consequence
Now playing victim heres the receipt
Sneaking up others are doing the work
Not doing any work the never to criticize

He got emotional he could taste the stomach acid in his throat. Not sure how to feel someone always provoked him to get a reaction. After a while it felt like it wasn't worth it.
He wanted support had it a few times but didn't last long. Years of betrayal made him feel unworthy. Everyday he would prove himself someone would point out one flaw/mistake discrediting his hard working efforts.
He was a big dreamer so much on his mind. Hard for him to commit to others but learning to commit to himself. Asking what he wants or how can he do it with his flare added to the mix.

Waking up sore not young anymore
Pushing hard fighting back
Not recovering the same
Immune to all the pain
Hustling strong to stay sane
Been broke before never again
Wide away body tired and sore
Mind racing wheels turning
Tender laying in bed trying to rest

He worked hard finally appreciated
Dealing with people that work
Makes sense things are better
Instead of dealing with lazy people
Talks of sabotage for a career
For someone who wants to move up
Talks of becoming a lead to a lead
He knew that this was a big move knowing this persons a top prospect
Keeping things balanced going strong
A major role compared to before
Ignored treated bad no one's listening
An outside looking in not the place
Not going to find it in another person
Never materialistic seeking wisdom
Neglected feeling like a nobody
Determined to become a somebody

I always ask what I didn't wrong and how I can be better with certain people. I realize it's not me I get tired of biting my lip and walking eggshells. I learned to walk away because no matter what I do things will never be right or be good enough.
I just tell myself not to treat others bad because I know the feeling. I've apologized even though I didn't do anything wrong. I'm over those people holding a grudge. Once you cut the cord you are free.
Avoiding those people can make your day better say hi. And that's it since you don't need or want anything from them. It's gotten easier because you know others know your hardwork and effort made.
Forgive yourself because life is too short to let people who don't like you bug you. People you don't talk to rob your inner peace. Be better without them it's the best move to make.

Having those uncomfortable conversations
Asking those questions that need answers
Be the solution not point out the problem
Do the work be the guy who does it
Don't leave it for the next guy
Take pride in your self and work
Stop being influenced by the negative majority
Stop empowering people who do nothing
Listen to your heart do what's right
No longer associate with toxic behavior
A sober life not around the scene anymore
Friends Stop calling and ignore your decision
Respect how they chose to be the same
Walked away from bad relationships
Going back is not an option
Had those thoughts reflected through writing
Not welcoming back the cheater
Not accepting lies from the liar
If you have to alter yourself that's not your crowd
Raise your voice to be heard those are not your people
Fighting for your spot just walk away
Know your worth and value yourself

After being denied the position. He continued to work harder most give up take the job hostage act like they deserved it. He'd worker harder for something better. Not settling he expressed his goals to this unmotivated lead that detoured his goals.
It was a wake up call being better when it came to people that didn't believe in him. He didn't use his recovery from surgery as an excuse. He'd only miss work if it was an intense procedure.
From doing extra to doing his part making his area stand out. Taking time to improve himself having a life outside of work. Being a workaholic was not rewarding when he did the work most will get it without trying that's the frustrating part after this life lesson.

He started to hate doing favors because he got ******* over in the end. He was glad to help others but they never helped him without an attitude or guilt trip. He was respectful to others.
Most of his peeps didn't take him serious or seen him as a joke. His frustrations high on another level. He was honest and truth most of the time threw BS his way. It was infuriating most of a insulting.
He showed up and wanted to get his work done and be left alone. He was mad the people he help talked about him. Now he's doing both jobs he wanted to quit walk away since everyone else didn't care. Why carry the burden when it wasn't his fault or problem.

Holding it all in ready to implode
Letting go not responsible for others
Blaming yourself trying to stand your ground
Tired of them talking about others acting loyal to their face
Sick of two faced people taking others for granted
Because you didn't listen or do things their way they try to ruin your rep
Turn others against you try to change others opinions about you
The arrogance will get to them and will blow up in their face
Don't get comfortable disrespecting others because some will not tolerate it
They step on others because they like to argue
Learned to not respond or say anything not empowering or feeding the egotistical power trip

Rumors spread he was suicidal
He's been living life to the fullest
Private with his relationship
Not knowing anything make it up
Assumed the worse about him
He had manners and formal
Talked about not talking about anyone
His presents rubbed others wrong
Minding his mouth staying quiet
Mostly his business by himself
Hard to trust since everyone gossips

Things don't happen right away
Overcome many obstacles
Those little victories fuel the fire
Light the fire within personal growth
Empowered to become more
Inspired by greatness moving up
Leads to major gains victories
Rise above all the hate and pain
It's easier to let go of looping thoughts
Then, hold onto deep down rage
Focus on those blessings
Praying for others to heal and forgive
Keep working towards the dream

Mood ring

You struggle being YOU
Trying to have a good day
Set the vibe feel alive
Put out positive energy
Only to be drained by bad
Usually a people person  
Being boxed/labeled judged harshly
Not the one in evil eyes
Made out to be a threat
So many twisted lies seen as truth
False promise being spoken
But prefer to be alone running solo
Listening to music feeling complete
Dealing with others bad habit
Toxic attitudes that place blame
Walk away leave the heartaches and pains
Clock in and out then back to living
Doing what's right avoiding the wrong
Always giving from the heart
Digging deep down from the soul
Trying to be a whole most of all selfless
While the negativity is black hole

I pray things go back to normal
No more masks able to go out without fear
Of getting infected
Infecting others so much toxic in the world
Other than the virus
Seen more bad than good
Focus on being a better
While there is so much struggle
Families collide over political views
Children at home not able to interact
This country great and free
The people argue for power
Trying to erase and rewrite history
Lost identities struggle to be a whole

Before he could see it feel it from the bottom of his heart. Everyone left when he came. He didn't make it right away but it was his time to shine. He failed the first time it made him humble. He missed it but it came back around so he was meant to have it. He never assumed it was his but never though it could be. Now it's happening got use to getting by when all he wanted was to do great things and feel accomplished while making the most of things.

Not about being right or wrong
How you treat others in a disagreement
Don't alienate slander their character
Not able to influence or manipulate
So you try to turn others on them
The person is use to being alone
Being excluded for being different
Not losing faith going all out
Letting others dictate your faye
People come and go like seasons
Loyal is closer than blood
Respect take you farther than chaos
No one is talking about you
Stop talking about others
Putting them on blast it's not your life
You're not helping anyone making it worse
You're not doing anything for anyone
So you make others look bad
Count your blessing be thankful
Stop making an example of others
A mouth of lies leads to ears that can't heard
Shutting people down for having an opinion
Knocking them doesn't make you right

He shared his pain not inflicting it
Hoping others would understand
Been an outcast not meant to fit in
Many people suffering over the past
Not always going to have a say
Make the most of things
No control beyond your grasp
Take on what matters worth your time
Pick your battles wisely
Not always emotionally invested
Hard to get attached or close
Free from the bad focused on the good

He smiled looked into her eyes
He wanted to rush the time wasn't right
He could missed the opportunity
Letting the suspense build up
Intentions mean well with love
Making his move could lead to more
Possible ruin things between them
He preferred an old friend over an ex

Thankful for the people who told me to do something that they should've been doing. I didn't get mad, but seen it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Don't tell me your doing something turns out you don't contribute. Talk about people because you are threatened everyone has moved up. while you remain stuck in the same place.

How does a person slander others behind their back and fake to their fake acting like they are loyal and true. I don't welcome or tolerate people who BS everyone. Your act runs thin everyone knows the truth.

He woke up ready to make it happen too much going on to be noticed. No one lives in the moment in anymore. Quick to record document everything.
Everyday come up with something new instead of letting material grow into something more. Feels like you can't settle  or take in. Older seeing what's in and it doesn't make sense.
These made up rules and standards that are used to keep people out. So many pretending to someone they are not.

He questioned everything wasn't sure how to feel. He was running out of places to go, and relocate. He gave his all, everything to all the wrong people. It helped him grow be wiser make better decisions.
Staying positive in a negative world
Fueling my love trying to cancel out hate
Moving up no one left behind never too late
Broken trying to heal tough skin immune
Fighting this insanity shouldn't be the norm
Walked away from the pain flowing deep
Working hard to stand tall gain
Keeping the peace took a beating

Walked away from crazy environment
Gave it all not going anywhere fading away
Phasing out moving on the next chapter
Old friends thanks for the memories
Failed relationships learned the life lessons
An equal partner a healthy connection
Use to the 3rd degree from others
Seeking a college degree better the situation
So much chaos in this struggle
Frustrated with the twisted outcomes
Bouncing back from the sidelines
Spoke the truth so many are angry foes
Over the sad stories not listening anymore
Focused on that life placed on hold

You get it out tell the truth. Everyone tried to shut you down, keep you grounded. All you want to do is take off get to the next level. Listening to the negativity made the world numb. Blocking everything out a clear mind.
Learning to cope deal with these emotions and feelings. Being a child a cry baby told stop being a ***** not able to express yourself because parents dk how to deal with you. Told to tough it out plow through. Put your head down get through to the end.
You miss out because you are distracted by getting it done. Trying to make it happen, be the one. who did it because they said it couldn't be done. They didn't believe in you so it make you want it more. Writing is a voice, doing the work getting closer coming up short. It's like a puzzle trying to complete it from all angles and with the right piece getting closer to completing the whole picture.

He remained positive lost in his work
Writing to clear his heart and soul
Music to help him cope feel
When he was going numb
Good vibes over bad praying for better
Staying positive always looking at both sides
Laughing through the tough time
He worked went the extra mile
Took control at work making it better
Put in a position of trust in charge of things

He never said anything to them because all they did was talk about everyone. He never talked about anyone, if he has something to say he would said it to their face. They want everyone to chang, but never want to change themselves. He knew he wasn't perfect, so he never said anything about anyone.
He loved them but kept a distance since they wanted him to alter himself. He was over the fact they would pick and choose when to accept him. He went through change they dk his history or back story. He just wanted to be accepted for him out respect for his elders he kept his mouth shut.

He was annoyed he'd let them know to see if they were interested. No one seemed to care or show any interest. Then when he would do it they would try to lay a guilt trip.
He got upset with their antics because if it was a role switch he would've said yes or no. None of this making them feel like he was causing conflicts in their schedule. It wasn't his fault or fair with him they demanded answers after a while he got tired of explaining himself. Now they are trying to make him out to be the troublemaker before he embraced it now he walks away from it all.

I love family but it's not a competition. So what you own a house and your not doing me any favors. I paised you as you rose up while you stomped me down. Never happy unless they make it about you. I've always seen you as an equal just because you have no say or control of my life you're threatened.
It ***** when family is divided over. Had to say anything because someone gets mad and doesn't talk. Just because grandpa passed doesn't mean your in control. Everyone is a bunch of hard working individuals trying to get by no one needs you to make their life more complicated

Big on being yourself some try to box you in change you because they arent happy with themselves. Those people are fake pretending to be someone they are not. They can't beat you one one so they talk about you get Every one to hate you because they are useless alone.
I question their logic because they always get their way even if it means hurting or ******* people. I've learned to not empower these kind of people. So many times it's about them with hidden agendas.

A sore body stiff joints
Pushing through an older body
Mentally blocking out the bad
Physically going through the motions
He missed them but they are gone
He's not going back to them
They are never returning to him
He let go fear free accepted
Alone is the way to be pain free
Found closure with his thoughts
His heart cages to heal
Soon to be set free be himself
That's all he truly wanted out life
Be happy with out consequence
Not answer to others for his efforts

How did she cheat and accuse her partner. She moved on he was happy for her. Once he decided to the same she was angry and mad at him for his actions. Their relationship was over why did old feelings return. He knew he couldn't go back she tried to make it right both of them wrong for one another.

The mind playing tricks on him. All the love for her was gone denying a huge part of himself. He didn't need judges in his life. He was his worse critic dieing inside trying to survive the internal struggle. Memories fading flashbacks going dimming into the darkness.
Everything changed walking through the crazy things are better now. Kept his head up when all he wanted to do was keep it down all those burdens crushing the heart he wore on his sleeve.
He was called crazy for showing emotion. Got lost in his feelings trying to help others. Made out to be an *** for not speaking up or saying anything. Lost in his thoughts made out to be delusional.

Getting sober is a must
It's a lonely journey
No going back
Some respect your decisions
Others hate on your decisions
They thought you'd never change
Only a matter of time till you get ahead
No one can take you down
Only you can feeling sorry for yourself
Let those negative block your path
Toxic people destroy your perception
Don't let them sabotage your dreams
Keep working behind the scenes
That moment will come to rise above
Where you'll surpass those low experts
Others try to project on you for being lazy
No longer the scapegoat obsorb the blame
Never more the whipping boy
Slipped out and free from the crazy
Use to take it on its a lost cause