Everyone mad and angry
A month trapped in a room with people
No matter what they do they hold a grudge
Not sure how to make the wrong right
An apology that will not be accepted
Forgiveness for inner peace within
Mistakes were made a friendship lost
Broken trust trying to fix things
Uncomfortable awkward silence became the norm
Friendships ended unforgivable acts
Families divided imposers controlling minds
False narratives spread like fires used as a bias influence

Sometimes people have nothing on you so they act your image because they can't win or get their way. All you could do is ignore them the more they talk they'll dig their grave and get caught up. It's easier to walk away they'll try to tarnish your image but it's a reflection of theirs that they are projecting on you.
Seeing them mistreat others it was only a matter of time till they fling their bad vibes your way. Not wasting time or energy on them focused on work and better skills with practice. Using energy in a positive way instead of lowering yourself to be liked seeking approval of others. Their views have no say or control on how you live your life so make the most of things.

He admired her she was a workaholic he was too. Digging down deep to fins the stones to ask her out. The idea of them made him smile but was terrible at relationship. He didn't want to get hurt or hurt her. He grew up with family that was not fond of interracial relationships. Her mocha skin and colored eyes had him in a daze.
The life he dreamed of never turned out accordingly. Focused on trying to be himself. Everyone expected too much and trying to figure out what he wants out of life. Loved others but had a hard time loving himself a struggle within that burned from the inside out.

Hard to trust after being done *****. He forgave them but they kept up the same scam. Giving him the silent treatment when they got caught up now they are mad at him for telling the truth. As they kept lying and blaming everyone else.
He didn't drink anymore but everyone with their failed relationships and bad habits trying to justify everything. More nonsense that didn't hold him down or back. He was not easily fooled their actions were louder than all the shouting and complaining. It was their life how is it anyone's fault for their actions. It was annoying everything got really bad instead of better. He made mistakes but learned not to say or do anything because of the negative influences that tried to mock his way of life. Provoke him to over react when he knew that he didn't ask for advice and not react nor empower toxic behavior

Trying to be myself and not worry about what others think or feel. You are nice and they walk all over you once you set boundaries they keep up the nonsense it ***** I have to go out of my way to avoid them.
I don't like to let people ruin my day some people just give off those bad vibes to me thats a sign to stay away. They want you to speak up first then what they say is justified. They have so much anger and frustration if they tore you down they'd still be miserable.
I mind my mouth and business but those people, who don't like you always talk about you or try to be in your business.

He love training who knew the kid he trained didn't want to do it. He felt heart broken and felt he lost it all. Everything taken away hitting rock bottom. Thinking of a plan how to bounce back. Open to learn grow so many detours and setback.
He put others first don't always know what to do with himself. Writing was all he had it numbed him took his pain and anxiety away.
He stepped up when no one else would. Always trying to do and be better while coming up short.

Didn't want it anymore burnt out
Found inspiration within the struggle
Young and dumb to knowing better
It all matters hard to pick and choose
Family love is tough growing strong
Meant to be something more
Forgiving yourself not living in regret
Older and wiser staying humble
Taking the lead role no one wants
Use to take the heat rising above it all
Taking on challenges never back down
Respect the process grow into greatness

Are being dismissed and dissed by certain family members he swore to be better than them. Being pushed out and criticized by people that didn't know his work etiquette. What he was about or what he could do. He was tired of the same old routine thinking he could do more. Why settle for less.
He respected their decisions why did his have to come with criticism. What hurt him the most was he valued them and they seen him as useless and worthless it was offensive. He stood up for them while they were quick to throw him under. Blame him acting like they are faultless.
He let them run things to the ground because they would impose their ways rather than be open to others and how they live their life.
Anyone who didn't listen or go along was seen as a threat. He was always put in awkward situations stuck defending stuff he didn't care for or had nothing to do with him.
Eventually walking away was the best solution. It gave him peace and solitude lead to more strengths such as confidence

They did what they did
Not returning the favor
From a friend to another hater
They'd rather see you fail
Than be happy for you
Showed them proved them wrong
Never going to give you your props
They don't have any respect
Expect you to live up to their hype
Trying to shadow you
But on your own path
Don't need or want from then
They dk what's best for themselves
How do they know what's right for you

He had down time so he would get lost in books and writing those things made him laugh and smile. He wasn't afraid to be alone but he was feeling betrayed used up then they were done and wanted nothing to do with him. He was willing to go the extra mile make it easy for himself. Doing a job no one wanted because of the rough area. He took pride in his work everything changed and was different a whole new world and vibe.

Crazy to hear what others think don't feel or see myself that way. Another chapter on going forward trying not to look back. Head up feeling dragged down not responsible for others another person pinning blame what a **** shame. Minding your mouth most of your business while they try to change your ways while never around in and out of the picture.

The dynamics changed lost energy
Divorce took its toll on the alpha
While the loss of a loved one
Changed a life the tone changed
From following to leading
Making decisions not being told
What to do how to act or behave
Leaving for the dream job
The current job part time
Another planning to retire
Go on journeys enjoy life
Away from the desk changing it up
Observing others learning from them
A lead who had a solid group
Now starting over rebuilding
Change is a good thing losing
Now adding on for the better
Not getting stuck in the transition
Letting go moving forward
No longer waiting for it to happen
It's not coming to you go after it

He worried for the new child. The parents didn't get along always trying to gain power and control the situation. He loved family but he was tired of hearing this couple argue break up and back together these unhealthy patterns became the foundation of the relationship.
He looked out for his cousin but learned to fade out not get involved he would hear more lies he got tired of more lies. He valued him but felt devalued being around with someone that never had his back unless he needed a favor.
He had his own stuff going on why would he take on the burden of others. He was trying to be supportive to the people who never supported him back. All they did was make a mess cause drama he was done cleaning up the mess he didn't make

How to heal a world that's turned upside down. Everyone life put on pause or moments of joy taken away. Wanting an old life back the new one feels gutted. Everything lost some things are replaceable others all you want is more time.
Being careful then finding out you are positive already distant forced to stay away. You worry about your loved one. Work and home no outside life a scary world some believe others don't. Once it spreads within your family it's the worse. Watching and there's nothing you can do.
Writing to stay sane fill that void the hole within never happy or satisfied with life. Made the most of things family like a shadow casting on you. Dealing with the guilt all the burden. Always in a fight life is tough ready to walk away this struggle within. Letting go of the hurt like a security blanket. This new anguish taking its toll all new. Hurting from the inside out. Screaming into a pillow hoping to release tension.

Chuck enjoyed his birthday breakfast with grandma and his sister plus her bf. They would enjoy his meal and the waitresses would bring him a dessert and sing him happy birthday.
He didn't like being the center of attention it made him uncomfortable for some strange reason. He got use to being an outcast in the back; who kept to himself minding his mouth mostly his business.
He went to a collectible store to buy vintage toys to him was his childhood being resold over priced. He got an anime series for a reasonable price.
After hanging with his siblings his friend would tell him lets meet up for beer and pizza. He agreed he didn't have beer but did enjoy the pizza and watching the ball game. Staying sober in the bar was hard but made the most of it. He use to be social but felt like it was one sided.
His first time out in a while was different he was quiet but everyone would talk to him for some strange reason it was all new and different from how he remembers things.

He loved his elders but they always made it about themselvesq
Ruining the moment to take credit for things they had no part of
He asked for help they blew him off
They didn't believe in him or his dream
It made him mad he was out to prove them wrong
Too short so he was overlooked
Judged harsh because of his skin tone
Held to another standard
Kept out once he was on the inside
The disappointment to find he wasn't missing anything
Making it hard to get by while others pass through
He'd have to bust his *** to make this happen.
Not being taken serious was disrespectful
Being ignored trying to bring new ideas
Shut down for having an opinion
Pushed out for being different
Not the same anymore determined to make it be more

Sobriety you lose friends
If we are drinking
We tolerate one another
Sober  with a clear mind
Better judgement less bitterness
Don't care for anothers company
Growing meaning letting go
Strength from those failed friends
Positivity gained from a toxic relationship
Love from the past fades
New gains from self love
Empowering yourself to do more
Trust leaving personal doubt
Make change for the better
Be the solution rise above problems

you asked for help, and it was hard to do
You're sharing a moment to have it ruined
Not contributing anything to case
The nerve to complain about things
Controlling the mood, making everyone miserable
Taking over the TV talking loud
Not able to sleep, keeping everyone up
No one asked or cares about your opinion
Trying to take credit shoveling the BS heavy
Failed since day one couldn't be alone
Bringing your partner all you do is argue
around a couple with bad habits
stuck with a **** relationship
a squatter trying to control a formal gang banger
how does a person munch on food
Knock out in the middle of eating
hard to sleep with snoring and bad sleep apnea from the terrible roommates
The caretakers from hell
Expected the best dealing with the worst
They aren't going to take care of you
So you take your health in your own hands
when you want to do things, they make it ****
stuck doing their bs agenda because they are bored
it's never in your best interest

Ben told Eve he loved hers he ran away by avoiding him. The had intimate moments that made him believe she cared for him. It was all new to him he became a clingy ******. Even worse after he lost virginity.
Maybe he was delusional expecting more.   Trying to break a family curse be successful in a relationship so many divorces. The first do alot of things but keeping that tradition alive. He didn't want to be defined by others.

Not always going to be accept. Respect those opinions it ***** to avoid people. Shut down your emotions some people are safe to be around. Others can be hostile those minds are made up. Its not worth proving yourself or wasting time trying to change their mind.
Too many made up rules and fake people that get close leach of your energy turn your world up side down. Then run the game no the next person. Wearing your heart on your sleeve while others are heartless selfish about themselves.
The heart doesn't care to hold onto the burden.  Trying to talk not being heard. Not into crowds and clicks too many two-faced conversations.

In a room with others learning love
Finding peace against alcohol
Common goals to become normal
Whatever the hell that means
Angry not able to cope with emotions
Overwhelmed by feelings confused
Trying to find inner peace keep sobriety
Not take a drink it will make things worse
Under the influence ruins it everything
A curse to self destruction kamikaze
Trying to do right not fall into wrong
A trap everyone suffers a long process
The pain use to be please not it's torture
A new look on life learning from others
Many problems and mistakes cause growth

Went out for a few hours and celebrated it was nice to get out of the house but the party cup is being retired hard to focus with a hangover. Trying to be human but sometimes it. Its not fun with an arguing couple or with a friend that's in a failing relationship.
Called delusional for calling them on the act
Sensitive for not taking their craps
Seen as ignorant for having an opinion
Cut them off moving on now they talking
Trying to turn others on you how they see you.
They called him ****** or a hard *** for hiding his feelings protecting his heart since he's been hurt many times before.

Slander by his friends
Others expected the worse
Feeling like his name cursed
The failed love is the worse
Broken from his circle
Ventured out on his own
Once cared to fit in
Use to being left out
Excluded from the rest
Doing his best gave his all
On call waiting for the phone to ring
In his personal space needing a favor
Had an opinion judged for his differences
More personal attacks no one had his back
Gave so much and did as much as possible
Tired of feeling like it wasn't good enough
Or whatever he wanted would never happen
Come true right away living over pain
Good thoughts instead of dark memories
More UPs that downs over setback detours to get there

They made eye contact the spark was there but was it with it. Smiling at one another. He had been in a few failed relationships and didn't want to go through that again. Why was this so hard for him.
He couldn't dump them They dropped him so the process could continue on. Asking for what they wanted and needed to be happy. He was still trying even when he got the cold shoulder listening to her talk about an ex or other person of interest.
He showed interest it wasn't enough. He didn't want to force it but things weren't coming natural. She was looking else where instead of taking in what was going on right before her eyes.

How are you going to have a party and have a potluck then be specific on telling the guest what to bring. The nerve and audacity. Some people talk about others and have more going on why be so petty? Quick to look down on others but never look at their spot or situation.
Trying to move up in ranks cutting people down. Using the numbers but your BS will make people distant themselves. The frustration busting everyone's ***** to get your way. Able to manipulate others but not buying into it.

His crew was gone everyone departed
From beer with the boys a wild life
Divided by women growing up
Some got married had kids family first
Now a family man being responsible
Others developed a drug addiction
Bad habits an alcoholic to numb the anguish
Learning to cope with the torment from within
After being cheated on dealing with heartache
Being put in the middle forced to choose
Between a relationship or friendships torn down the middle

He didn't have time to hold a grudge
Not talking about anyone it was dumb
He was focused more on his job
That had it's up and downs for days
Thought about asking the cute girl out
Change his career he was tired of settling
Thinking they changed but expecting to much
Only nice when they needed a favor or they wouldn't bother
Cutting out family doesn't make you right
Doesn't make you a better person
Some conversations needed to be had but that's not right to exclude anyone
Sometimes it's not about being right but doing what's right
Eventually it feels like everyone is against you making a stand sometimes it's a lonely road
While pretending everything is okay makes it way worse than before
Forgiving them and moving on is easy
Getting close and trusting is another
They'll try to bury or expose you while you've done nothing wrong.
Having an opinion gets you judged and treated different
Not a problem paying for things but when you demand name brands
And have deadlines for a potluck it's unsettling
Cared you had problems rather than help the situation things got made worse.
The power given doesn't mean people owe you or you own them. Letting that go to your head talking bad about others while you do the same thing.
Trying not to say anything but hard when you are being taunted and provoked. Definitely not seeing eye to eye or on the same level

Wanted to write stories talking about the struggle. Internal conflict trying to resolve it all. Always taking on the world other peoples frustration hiding behind it so hard to open up. Always seeing good in others over trusting. Always protecting them but they are quick to blame others than own up. He made jokes at the wrong time tried to see good with the bad.
His opinion was ignored or shut down now they expect him to go along with their madness. He preferred to be alone they called him rebel because he wasn't one of them and didn't care to be one of them. He got along with everyone; he didn't respect people who talked behind his back. If they said it to his face, it might've ****** him off but he appreciated the person for it.
As he listened to music looking for inspiration but learned to live life and share stories. Even with the condition everyone has been through everyone has a problem or going through something.

He was a late bloomer it wasn't too late but only beginning. He had experienced everything too soon and fast failed relationships. Over the years expired friendships that came to end. He chose to chase his dreams. While some got married and happy others divorced. He loved family but they didn't let him shine while everyone worked average joe job and bitter. He worked but didn't let it bug or bother him. Made the most of thing with what little he had. He was thankful because he knew what it was like to be broke. Helped others because he got help when he was down. He said he'd never be that way again. One day he'd make since everyone around him never seemed to want it. The problem was he never thought it could be him. Blindsided by outside factors that had nothing to do with his goal or dreams dealing with others frustrations because they thought coming at him or knocking him down would help them bounce back.

The trio met behind the building to talk about the turn of events. Everyone played a role some did more than others. The boss would cut out the lead who was the middle man. Talking to the one who got it done.
Some are well off while others are working for theirs. The lead never took charge. While the up and comer was determined but didn't like stepping on toes but hated walking egg shells.

The moments that changed his life
His brother murdered in cold blood
Watching one of his own place in the grave
Betrayed by his best friend that moved in on his girl
A friend he seen as a brother bad mouthing his character
The girl he loved lusting around
Seeing her with someone else
Ate his soul alive drained his good
Hurting trying to infect others with that misery
He let it die with him starting over learning to love again
Years of feeling nothing trying to get right with God
Walked away from a meaningless life
Pursuing a meaningful life with purpose

Telling your feelings to a screen
Sharing your emotions
Some days it hurts really bad
Not sure how to feel
Or how to react anymore
Had an opinion now someone is mad
Spoke my mind another person is offended
Said nothing keeping the peace someone is running their mouth
They don't like the person why are they talking about them constantly.
He don't talk about anyone behind their back
He usually said it to their face telling the truth
While they lie pretending to be someone they are not
Writing to go numb be able to sleep
Those heavy burdens kept him awake
Use to being pushed out got familiar with being alone.

He was tired another fight wasn't the same over all the physical and mental pain. Taking a time out changing it up. Making the most of the moment and situation.
So much change doing it all over not the same. Feels like a lost cause made it have value now it's worthless. Always looking in from the outside. once on the inside he wanted out. Never going to change he was stripped down not himself with anyone. So many made him out to be someone he's not.

The emotions get deeper as the feeling tug at his heart. His heart hardens as he protects himself from those who oppose him. Make him feel like he was doing wrong when all he wanted was to do his job with out conflict.
Be with his family without judgement or being treated differently head to another standard while others get away with doing the bare minimum. He didn't talk smack or feel it was necessary to put others on the spot. He wasn't perfect or anywhere close to being so.
He let go and realized it wasn't worth it anymore letting go was easier than being part of something that was tainted. No longer pure it lost meaning and value. It made him worse instead of better it was best to let go cut those losses and move on.

Forgiving for peace holding onto a grudge doesn't empower you it controls you because all you want to do is create scenario of things that never happened. Things you want to say or could say but if the confrontation happen nothing would be said.
Using your imagination playing with hypothetical situations. You think you have the person figured out but you don't know what they feel or going through trying to get the upper hand thinking you know to find out you have no clue.
It's okay to be wrong it will bring shame you'll feel embarrassed. Everyone makes mistakes just learn from it be a big and better person for next time if there is a next time.

They expect you to know but don't teach you anything. Expecting you to know everything at that moment put in the hot seat. Respect for my elders but they don't teach you anything job security. On their way out and we still learning the game. Talking bad on the up and comers what a **** shame.
Their time is running up things are changing learned to be open to change. Old ways new ways no one cares just get it done. From the an outsider looking in finally on the inside.
All the rumors being true feels like the dark side wanted to be on the right side. Hated being alone got use to the silence giving my all to make it better than before. Dk or care anymore not the same everything is in the process of change.

He'd wait for her but there is no going back. Trying to heal find closure years of obsession. Asking where did it go wrong? Wondering how to fix things make them right. Its too late not going back. This growth over time learned that things wont happen again. Being able to move on things are not the same.
Not every relationship or friendship will be the same. More selective trying to make the same mistakes. Overcoming many obstacles not empowering egos or taking on power trips. Hard to trust anyone now a days.  Failed made mistakes trying to bounce back better

Now that you are gone
Things will never be the same
The glue came undone
And will never stick right again
Never the same just memories
Pain sad to see you go
Your light helped everyone grow
Focused on the good over the bad
Seen it through made it to the end
Thanks to your influence

I always ask what I didn't wrong and how I can be better with certain people. I realize it's not me I get tired of biting my lip and walking eggshells. I learned to walk away because no matter what I do things will never be right or be good enough.
I just tell myself not to treat others bad because I know the feeling. I've apologized even though I didn't do anything wrong. I'm over those people holding a grudge. Once you cut the cord you are free.
Avoiding those people can make your day better say hi. And that's it since you don't need or want anything from them. It's gotten easier because you know others know your hardwork and effort made.
Forgive yourself because life is too short to let people who don't like you bug you. People you don't talk to rob your inner peace. Be better without them it's the best move to make.

Not your friend anymore
I'd back you up never spoke bad
While you bad mouth my name
Don't talk on my behalf
No room for a dishonest representative
You don't represent my name
Keep it out of that deceitful mouth
We no longer associate over the lies
Not catching heat guilt by association
Focused on winning not defeat
Stop blaming others for your fault
Own up for the wrong drama you caused
Had to cut ties not going to get caught up
Over stuff that has nothing to do with me