Another day almost done about to start
Focused on success trying not to fall apart
Used and abused crazy to comeback for more
Still writing and fighting for mine it's been tough
Not influenced by others who oppose my way
Don't need that negativity please stay away
Toxic vibes they feed on to stay a live
Trying to survive not roll over and die
Cut the cord the history trying to stay relevant
Facing forward in the present live in the moment
Not going back to the past, don't tell me how to act

He always wanted to be part of a crowd
They always made him feel he wasn't welcome or allowed
Now he minds his own wants to be left alone
Once he got inside realized he wasn't missing anything
He wakes out thinking meant for something better
They bad mouth him but once he confronts them they deny it telling lies now playing the victim
Been here before moving forward sobered up not the same anymore
Who he was and who he has become don't mix them up

He was annoyed he'd let them know to see if they were interested. No one seemed to care or show any interest. Then when he would do it they would try to lay a guilt trip.
He got upset with their antics because if it was a role switch he would've said yes or no. None of this making them feel like he was causing conflicts in their schedule. It wasn't his fault or fair with him they demanded answers after a while he got tired of explaining himself. Now they are trying to make him out to be the troublemaker before he embraced it now he walks away from it all.

Doing the work but not sure what to do with it. That's the frustration with being a fighter you can be ready for the fight and it doesn't happen. It gets worse when your not ready for the fight opportunity presents it's self you take a chance and risk. I love to write but editing is stress do my words gain or lose value the most important question is does this make sense.
Explaining: why you do things is hard when you just do it. What's your reason? What's your purpose? The question, what drives helps. I can answer, I wanted to do it or they said it couldn't be done. I did it for myself to prove them wrong or things needed to be done.
I'd rather do the work than try to come up with an excuse. It's easy to tell the the truth lying doesn't get you anywhere.

The first year without him so much change
Things use to be in check now an imposition
Some people just work and live life
While others passively mistreat others
Because others don't follow their rules
Not a follower being a trail blazer
Challenging all these made up rules
Refusing to apply give in use to rejection
Sometimes you're love other times excluded
Some how the script gets flip
Not in your favor but the blame
Focused on things matter the work speaks
Seen as a threat for know things
Doing the basic seen as an over achieve
Just trying and putting forth effort

I pray for them because I see the problem
They won't admit it or see it as wrong
I'm not going to get involved or say
Dealing with head strong people is hard
Most never listen and ready to argue I'm praying for those that hurt
Those who cause heart ache get stopped
The girl that's pregnant gets kicked out by her bf but still goes back. I pray for her and the child.
The older man who stays with a woman who treats him like an idiot. Because he fears to be alone. I pray for them as well. I'm not mad but pray the situation gets better. I pray some come to their senses. The internal struggle passes replaced peace and closure.

A nobody working behind the scenes
Working with a somebody
Remembering the glory days
Working harder Than before
They dk him or what he can do
Rose above the lies cutting ties
Proving them wrong not boxed in
Lots of self-improvement with growth
Not part of the rumors drifting away
From close to complete strangers
Fought for them stood by their side
Now against you attacking strong
Taking the blame in the name of love
Opened to change new mindset
Everyone remained the same negative

The crowd so loud they applaud your efforts
Take it in and do your thing take a breath exhale
Things feel right on a stage energy rushing
After the show it's so quiet and boring
From holding a crowd to being alone
No one around to hear what you're saying
Practice a monologue prepare for the next show
On the road so far from home it's part of the trade
Sleeping in a hotel bed missing the one at home
Trying to get to the next level, stage time is most important
All the struggle melts away with the stage lights
Free for that moment because this love felt right

Use to go out every Friday night
woke up drunk Saturday morning
Now I'm older life seems so boring
Another lustful one nighter to find love
A contiuning quest that never had a happy ending
All this brokeness comes together while writing
She showed me love one day the next it was over
Use to hang out fresh and new
things felt right got old and cruel
She loved when we cuddled
Hated to see me go now we don't see one another anymore

He woke up felt what's next? He was trying to grow but didn't feel stimulated but numb. They broke his heart he his it showed no emotions. He just shut down didn't waste any energy on them. He felt betrayed by these people he admired them emotionally invested in them. They used and lied to him he was done. Fed up by the deceit. He wondered why no one  owned up quick to have issues or being sensitive.
They deflected his feelings rejected his ways off life. He didn't need much to be happy made the most of things. So weird and crazy. Never having time to deal or feel

He got in his car hit the road music loud, the wind blowing away all his troubles and worries. Wanting to leave and starting over in a new world a whole new life. Leave the old life for the new place to call home He never felt like he belonged or fit in anywhere.
He was not going to **** up, or compromise himself to fit in. He made that mistake in his last relationship. He was over his past weighing him down. Tired of carrying those burdens trying to make wrongs right when it was all pointless there was no point because it was all one sided.
No longer bothered by his rivals because they didn't talk to him what more damage could they do. Ignore him it was already the normal; why expect, or want anything different. Already the bad guy living up to the standards making it easier. They didn't care about him why should he care what they think. They didn't care, how he felt why should he care what those Haters think.

Learning to prioritize things say what's needed to get it done. How to get there been seeing things as a leader taking charge how to grow and learn with a productive attitude. Dealt with bad leads that want to be the middle man that designate their work on others. Told myself to be active be part of the team. Not tell people what to do but empower them to make the right decisions with the choices provided.
So much to learn from this experience lead by example not make an example of others doing it as well. If I can't do it not going to make others do it. Willing to learn and quick to turn around teach the skills and technique to get it done.
Tired of people acting like no one can do their average joe job. Thinking they are too good but staying in the same place wasting everyone's time. Making gossip at work because people are moving up and advancing while they chose to settle. Everyone respects your decision have respect for those that want to move up.

Never cared for political views
Respect everyones faith and beliefs
Be a good person treat one another right
The community divided more than ever
It's not about being right anymore
Build trust with vulnerability
Try to understand different perspectives
But doing the right thing be better
Instead of united being supportive
The imposition causing hate to rise
Have an opinion gets you attacked
Stay silence the internal turmoil burns

He loved his job because they gave him a chance and he returned the favor by busting his ***. He was always up beat and positive around negative bitter employees. He said he would be active and involved doing extra.
He worked with employees that did the bare minimum waiting to collect benefits and retire. He had health conditions and needed to be at work so he could pay for insurance.
He dealt with bad leads that dumped the work on him but he saw it as a way to prepare so when he became a lead. He didn't care for job titles he did the work and took pride in it.
Bad health or not he gave his all because everyone settled or gave up Not motivated only sticking around because the pay was enough to keep them around.  
He never milked his injuries he had to be at work because people would complain and he didn't want his crew to look bad. God forbid he gets his health right and takes time off.
He was the heart of the team he did the extra while others did a half *** job just enough to get by. They believed in him at the beginning then gave up on him since they had to step it up when he missed due to his health issues.
Lots of people play the union card or its not my job rather than stepping it up doing what you can to make it easy for the next guy. He always said "don't leave it for the next guy be the guy." People want a job but don't want to work everything is earned not given. He was a team player even if they helped him or not. The work was easier when he was there but worse when he came back after a medical leave.
Most ditch work he could only miss, if he had a medical procedure or doctors appointment. He wanted to live his life but he had to do that on his own time when he wasn't sore or too tired to do so
He didn't want to leave his wing man they were a power team and had one anothers back. While the morning crew never teamed up unless it had to be done last minute. The day should be the set up and night clean up. Due to lack of team work the night crew helps with the set up.

Cracking jokes being fun again
Took the job serious and gained nothing
Taking back self respect moved on
Looking else where pushed away
No reason to stay not one to snitch
Not going to hide quick to square up
Stand my ground fought back
Tired of not being heard after speaking
Did the work why the lazy complain
Sad to see everything decline
Trying to get ahead or come out even

Life my change embracing this opportunity
All those long hours filling in the void
Had to go through the steps to be heard
Can't cheat doing the work for years
Cut corner been going through the motions
Ready for the next level not skipping steps
Taking them one at a time the process
Everything will be fine over time
Keep working for what's mine
He never said anything out of respect
Feeling he needed to get it together
So many act up and done nothing
Talking loud doesn't make them right
Knocking others doesn't justify anything
He was done feeding into the carnage
Quit focusing on the negative vibes
Doing the things that matter
That needed to be done consistently
He didn't care about what others said
He knew what he wanted out of life
How he felt not letting others influence his behavior
He was worried it would never happen
Many things might actually fall into place

Able to write it down
Silencing the voices echoing
Tried to program doubt within
Attack insecurities to feel secure
Manipulate the mindset more regret
Meaningless vibes not giving in
Family is the world feeling like an alien
An outsider looking in not understood
Don't always fit in or belong anywhere
Speaking when spoken to treated like a child

Applied for that job day time hours
Reached out to the person connected
Seen the girl he was crushing on
Tired of putting his life on hold
Around family so alone feeling dull
Lonely in a crowded room invisible
Couldn't be more being chopped down
Couldn't be less taking criticism
An opinion that would be ignored
His different perspective denied
All they did was complain a power struggle
Expecting change but not wanting to change

The obsession to go back and fix the past, things ended accordingly; the way they were suppose to. Most didn't end on your terms but fought for a lost cause. At the time everything served meaning and purpose. Haven't been wanting but have been looking. Things use to be new filled with excitement  now things are dull. Expect too much end up with disappointment but expect nothing things seem to have some interesting outcomes.

Always at work the fear of missing out
Once he was there felt like he didn't belong
Everyone is older wondering where the time went
Letting go of the childhood trauma no longer a road block
Escaping the fear of failed relationships
Moving onto new ideas meeting new people is hard
It's easy to have a fling better to get to know a person.
It's hard to open up when everyone is closed off
Accepting others that are quick to assume  change you refusing to change themselves
Had it all and lost it all lots of transition over time

He loved his family bur they are the worse. He didn't bother anyone with his problems. A single guy who kept to himself minded his mouth most of all his business.
His family didn't get along but around relative made it worse. He loved his cousins never told them anything but they are quick to give him a piece of their mind. He didn't remember asking.
He could go out and come home late He was single and didn't have kids. While the ones with kids acted single. Cheating on their baby mama or playing the victim because the baby mama returned the favor.
Having multiple kids and not being responsible for them. That was none of his business but if he buys himself whatever he wants because he worked for it. Trying to guilt trip him. He paid rent while the others didn't but had the nerve to talk bad look down on him.
It's time to move out living with people that are given while he's still working for his.
He made mistakes and learned trying to improve the situation not see it as a punishment. Asking for help was hard but found the people he needed are unreliable. He had to find and make a way. He went against odds Before.
It was no surprise but what's worse is when your family is the road block. In your face making you feel unworthy.
You don't care to fit in or prove yourself because they don't help or do anything to contribute.
They never showed any remorse or sympathy when you were down and out they expected you to get up and move on. Now they are going through stuff you feel bad and want to help. They didn't want you around. When things are bad they are there with you. When things are great for them, they are nowhere to be found.

Her touch was heart warming
A smile that melts the soul
The sparkle in her eyes when she stares
Opened up never did that before
Feeling vulnerable lots of trust
Things going right very unsettling
Being wrong hurts most poor judgment
Learning to cope understand the new
Hard to go back to the old ways
Lay in bed hard to sleep alone again
Missing the company not the bad attitude
Full of emotions drained left empty inside
Desired those addictive yearnings
That kiss became loveless no connection
Emotionless gaze became a cold glance
Taunted by failed love from the past
Mocked by memories with cravings
Not able to get that drug sick fix

Wearing a mask
Staying away from all
Alone writing feeling safe
More risks insanity in public

Writing it down free from the past
Smiled and thanked God
Healing scars on this ***
Forgiving those who've done wrong
Spiritual growth is going strong
No time for love games
Looking for the real thing
Let go of bad memories that remain
Don't care for old pain. It's in the past

He was dropping those burdens gaining momentum. Feeding his soul instead of the soul suckers that drained his well being. His voice grew weak not saying much or arguing with others.
Turned his back walked away from the carnage no longer cleaning the crumbled crumbs for others.

Dealing with my elder
Much love and respect for them
Once you move up feeling held back
Rather than be happy hate on all efforts
Trying to move up in survival mode
Now suppose to support the family
first job success abuse fathers ego
Tried to work with family but the expectation was too high
Gave your all it was never enough
Dealing with older people that act like children
Some know better, chose not to do so
Trying to be a child forced to be an adult
Now a adult learning to maintain
Emotional frustration enraged
Physical exhausted engulfed by pain

They were best friends it all ended over some smack talking and a girl. Those glory days are over not talking about anymore. Learned to bite the lip and walk away. Forgave for peace and closure. It ***** when people you love come at you. Try to blame for their faulting mistakes, so they can feel superior feel empowered. I think about the people that fell off, I respect marriage and children. If it was for that what would they be doing. Don't look down on the single who lives his life. Who sometimes drinks too much has fun because work is their only responsibility.
Most don't have it figured out but do their best to make the most of things better their situations. Some have help well others work for theirs.

Called a bias for not being around it
Trying to understand or be cancelled
Told the truth being fed lies
Trying something new being called crazy
Being told stay in the routine
Breaking away from the old way of living
Trying to rise up never settling
Taking on new social standards
Not playing the race card others abuse it
Some use their body while others work
Some have money others work for it

Staying sobriety a sincere apology
Altered behavior learned from the mistakes
Working harder showing appreciation
Staying loyal to to everyone and loving
Who had my back through the struggle
Cutting off the toxic not longer involved
Toned down joking people are sensitive
Easily offended making it personal
Trying not to complain by doing my part
Showing gratitude by giving my all
Nice to be appreciated it's a blessing
Motivated to do more dealing with less

Judged for being single
I respect you chose to settle
Able to be free not in a relationship
Responsible for myself doing my part
Able to go out not a parent
Using kids or a partner an alibi
I don't use anyone as an excuse
Relationships are complicated
Enjoying life living to the fullest
Appreciate those moments take them in
Not writing about failed love
Reliving the trauma anymore
Not that fixated person anymore
Meant to be much more than before
Onto better when kept out
Definitely better stop denying that right
That's why you are being talked about

The love he desires was hard to find
Someone he could trust not a lush
A real connection with someone true
Instead of meaningless lusting
Tired of one sided being treated cruel
He remained loyal yet faithful
Even though accused of cheating
Taking all the blame to make it work
Immune to the pain becoming numb
Knowing its over not playing dumb
Heart letting go moving onto growth
Mind blocking the distracting denial
Focused on the truth ready to improve
Be better without compromised love

Calling people delusional then expecting them to be a certain
If you know a person is sensitive why are you being a ****
These tormenting thoughts fade over time
Cutting the cord was the best decision
Wasting my time with two faced fake people
I'd confront them but I'm already the bad guy in their story so no point in redeeming myself. I don't need to prove myself when I've been good to people.
They dk my story or my sacrifice. I've hit rock bottom made mistakes I learned from them. Bouncing back after a surgery I don't need anymore roadblocks I'm okay with detours.

Never thought she'd call but it was a change
The homie was mad but got a text didn't expect that
The change that goes on over the years
Prayed those grudges would fade
Be friends instead of strangers
Some talks are hard to have
While others need to be done to make it right
Sorry doesn't take away the hurt
Living with the pain isn't right
Try to make the wrong right
It hurts to lose a close friend
People go through stuff d
Doesn't make it right
Always changing can't live with the torment
Drop the burden like the apology that was given
To know they are okay and to hear from them gives peace
Find closure for the new year
A clean slate to start a new story
Most of all just finish what was started

The power hungry egotistical couple expected and demanded of others. Some had less but happy; while having it all wasn't enough. He was single no kids made the most of things thankful made the most of everything. He was use to the number opposing him since he had freedoms but kept it simple. Any move or comment bothered them because he didn't want to take an ear full or let their labels keep him down.
He was working for his everyday not seen as the best but working hard giving his best. The merit on hid shoulder got him more hate. He learned to just do not talk or be scared he learned by doing. Took constructive criticism well and worked to earn his spot. Even if the deck was rigged not in his favor he work to win them over he never made it personal but took what was suppose to be done serious.

He was onto new things missing his old life. Trying to go forward not go back. Closed off seen as a hard *** but once he opened up. Always focused on work no time to show emotions. Being social was easy he had nothing to hide.  Everyone else was closed off and defensive threatened, by his honesty it made him feel bad for telling the truth.
He sat in his room alone with comfort. Going in public was unsettling in a crowd. Kept to himself minded his own.

He worked hard making moves ready to take the test. This would be a factor in his future working towards his goals. Wanting a day shift so that he could focus on his training. Changing up his diet incorporating more greens. Resting staying sharp and focused on his passions. Lots of change occured he was working for it. Had plans hoping they'd work out be put into motion.
Changed his focus at ease over come pain and agony cause by his family. He valued them but they didn't respect or valued his opinion. Anything he did didn't matter unless they made it about them. Not like them and will never be like them.

He woke up ready to get it done. Bust his *** in a timely consistent manner. Getting older making moves on the down low. Tired of the bottom working towards the top. Years of staying down, after hitting rock bottom.
Insulted for being judged without being known. Overlooked being skimmed over the hardest worker in the room. Not one to **** up seen as a threat. Standing out being noticed to not used properly. Spoke up got mistreated said nothing being a solution solving problems.

Thankful to be growing open to change not letting them think they could manipulate with pain to get their way not empowering toxic or giving into negative ways.
Hard work no short cuts or hand outs just do your own thing. Once you made it on your own others can't tell you anything.
You made it because they are talking even when no one asked. Talking bad about you because they haven't done anything so now they try to justify their actions by bring you down with them.
Not feeling into broken egos and pride that waste your time. You want to bring them up with you since they like to be a downer you leave them where they want to be. Being responsible for yourself and not others moods that try to smoother the life out of you.
Thankful for opportunities staying positive in a negative world that's quick to blame and never own up. Told not to be a snitch never associate with them. Hated for being honest while so many try to talk bad on others easily offended and walk through life living a lie thinking it's their right to look down on others. Appreciate the struggle stay humble and loyal to yourself while pursing you dreams achieving those goals. A heart fueled with passionate fire burning strong.

Stopped comparing living life
Got tired of complaining just doing
Not my crowd it's okay to say
Never going to see eye to eye
Never come to terms or agree
Working hard to survive
All the talk not listening anymore
Walked away tired of waiting around
Had your back take your knife back
A stabbing pierce of betrayal
Seen what you stand for
Can't be apart of that and you

Everything was tough so he walked away but he had no peace since it was in the back of his mind. Siblings taken away by social services and father back in prison. A mother that would have to work to get her kids back. While he tried to pursue his education wanted to help his family but couldn't do anything to help. Eventually he'd put everything on hold and come back home. His dreams haunting and taunting him because he was close but yet so far. Everyone would be united fall back into places. Back to the child hood home for his parents and one sibling everyone grew up. Seem to be doing some chose a relationship and others focused on bettering their situation.
He watched them make mistakes but could since it wasn't his life or gave them advice warned them but no one listened to him because they thought they knee better but when they tried to tell him they crossed the line because he already made those mistakes and learned.