From being the problem
Now providing the solution
Healing from the bad
Awake feeling better
Life breathed into the soul
A smile that brightens the day
Eyes glow with purpose
Begun a new staying true
Focused on doing good
Away with the negative cruel

Trying to open up no one listens
No one cares unless it's about them
Asking about the podcast trying to put out good vibes
Haven't had a good friend for a while lost peeps over relationships and family. Didn't get it before but respect it now.
Avoiding people who drink to maintain sobriety
Got use to being alone someone is always mad or disappointed with anything done.
Excluded trying to fit in someone is always bothered by his actions or behavior.
He was one to say it to their face but they are quick to change the narrative make him out to be the bad guy. Turn everyone on him for having an opinion usually the one standing alone having a one sided argument with himself.
The double standards against him he's in the wrong but their evil doing is justified. He stares at the wall wonder what's going to happen since he questioned the things that tore him down. Now they are playing the victim telling him he overreacted because they mistreat him. Apparently it's okay but he was tired of it trying to make it through probation and transfer. He arrived so many transferred he believed in loyalty; why stay if they don't believe in you.
His first day the boss said there was better candidates only hired because of the lead and his previous summer contributions.

He loved his family bur they are the worse. He didn't bother anyone with his problems. A single guy who kept to himself minded his mouth most of all his business.
His family didn't get along but around relative made it worse. He loved his cousins never told them anything but they are quick to give him a piece of their mind. He didn't remember asking.
He could go out and come home late He was single and didn't have kids. While the ones with kids acted single. Cheating on their baby mama or playing the victim because the baby mama returned the favor.
Having multiple kids and not being responsible for them. That was none of his business but if he buys himself whatever he wants because he worked for it. Trying to guilt trip him. He paid rent while the others didn't but had the nerve to talk bad look down on him.
It's time to move out living with people that are given while he's still working for his.
He made mistakes and learned trying to improve the situation not see it as a punishment. Asking for help was hard but found the people he needed are unreliable. He had to find and make a way. He went against odds Before.
It was no surprise but what's worse is when your family is the road block. In your face making you feel unworthy.
You don't care to fit in or prove yourself because they don't help or do anything to contribute.
They never showed any remorse or sympathy when you were down and out they expected you to get up and move on. Now they are going through stuff you feel bad and want to help. They didn't want you around. When things are bad they are there with you. When things are great for them, they are nowhere to be found.

Always straight to the point not holding back been writing for years too much insanity. A clear mind dealing with others not causing ruckus confronting others on their bad intentions. He minded his business usually kept out. Mostly ignored for question the logic that doesn't sound right or seems inappropriate. He spoke when spoken to or gave an opinion when asked. Most would impose when he didnt ask their opinion or care what they though.

Not getting along starting arguments
No one willing to compromise
Trusting not feeling the vibe
Actions say otherwise no love
Demeanor changed cold shoulder
Hard to comprehend shady behavior
Always honest getting lies in return
The guilty conscience projecting
There's someone else on the side
Red flags denying the truth
Feelings fading away left with lust
Mistakes made thinking there's love
Hurting one another can't force it
From natural to delusional infatuation

He was left alone doing his own thing. The worse feeling is his family hating on him because no matter what he did I wasn't good enough. They talked to him like he was stupid which was more insulting.
All the betrayal he asked for help got ignored. Now that he figured it out doing his own thing they chime in with their toxic negative opinion, no one asked for. He was excluded because they made him out to be a bad guy. He didn't do anything but played the role. Not able to change him trying to use the numbers against him. Trying to manipulate others perspective so they could think excluding him would change him.
He wasn't interested in their opinion since they ignored him when he meant well while their wicked ways tried to break him down so they could keep doing their evil.
He wasn't blind or turning a blind eye he walked away from that life. It hurt at first but it needed to be done. They didn't know his life or his story most of all his struggle over the years. He didn't use people he respected them and treated them accordingly

That internal struggle doing what's right; while the rest lie and cheat the system. Doing right by their side giving them the best while they cheat manipulate the truth full of lies. Talked about a life together now with someone else doing things you claimed to never do. Never felt worthy but moved into to finding the better version of one's self. For better or worse, flaw and all. Always open to grow and improve.

He'd give everything up for everyone he loved. After a while he felt taken for granted overwhelmed. He thought highly of them and they treated him like he was worthless. Treating them fair telling him he was crazy.
Able to step outside of his comfort zone tired of feeling boxed in. Shining more while everyone gave him crap causing him to doubt himself.
Part of the team hoping everything works itself out instead of false promises and ideal outcomes

Staying sobriety a sincere apology
Altered behavior learned from the mistakes
Working harder showing appreciation
Staying loyal to to everyone and loving
Who had my back through the struggle
Cutting off the toxic not longer involved
Toned down joking people are sensitive
Easily offended making it personal
Trying not to complain by doing my part
Showing gratitude by giving my all
Nice to be appreciated it's a blessing
Motivated to do more dealing with less

As the older brother dealing with siblings
Hard to move on stuck on the past
Writing already gutted from the inside
Remains getting chewed up
Making the most of the situation
A public front different personalities
Living up to this image not sure
Treating some bad with no regards
Living two lives barely able to live one
Trying to get hired not being uses properly

Quick to attack get burnt out give them a chance to escape. You played with them before going for the ****. It was a trap giving them a chance from playing the victim to being the one making the ****. Never underestimate your opponent keep practicing training hard don't let them live free in your head causing distractions losing focus. Making you feel like it doesn't matter or mean anything. You've been doing it for some time it's become your life. Hours of training for a few minute fights a big event the time to shine put all the training to use. Making moves and moving up the next level.
The warrior within being a civil gentleman life was the big fight.
Dealing with a terrible lead who does nothing acting like he does everything. Loving the job working around lazy people moving up taking charge. A failed relationship an ex that claims to have moved on still taking cheap shots. His family another obstacle instead of having your back being supportive.
Not talking just doing the work fading our of the drama so many rigged arguments that are pointless. Taking the blame standing for a lost cause. Walking away because the lessons could lead to more or leave you confused wonder *** happened?

In the dark the music blasting loud
The beat fills my heart
The lyrics touch my soul
Starting to glow from within good vibes seep out
Music gives me strength to survive
Music helps me grow feel alive
Let's me know I'm not alone with my thoughts
Or the only one who feels this way
The struggle is real music gets me through the day
Says all the things I have trouble saying
I'd speak my mind, my mouth gets me in trouble
Been hurt and hurt others not my intention
Seen some stuff too crazy for me I had enough
Letting go is the hard part but you won't regret it
once you do you're free from the burden
Once you start, keep progressing, stop obsessing

Ben was thinking about dating after being in a crazy relationship the trauma kept him from diving head first into a new relations. A one night stand that turned into a year and a month relationship.
He was happy to be in a relationship but she was never happy ruining things because she wasn't happy. He tried but it wasn't good enough. After failed attempts to end it. she would mustard up the courage to end it so she could be superior having the upper hand.
Years later she would have 2 children with the guy she cheated on him with and tried to blame him for her actions. He was crushed hurt never going back telling himself to be better not settle for less give up part of himself to be liked to be accepted.

Wake up it's still dark need to beat the traffic rush. Cold outside seeing it while exhaling determined to stay warm. Wearing warm cozy layers because the weather is unpredictable. From cold as ice to hot has hell. The temperature would progress with the day. Losing layers or sometimes the weather stayed consistent dressed just right. In the car so early loud music to stay awake. The heat blasting to keep you warm on the way. Arrive before everyone sitting in an empty lot waiting for the rest show up. The early morning silence rewarding soothing to the mind. The tender intensity felt just right. He was always anxious but everything felt right. Up early home early. Like the days better then the night shift.

How much sacrifice till you made it? Long days of over time giving up a social life but wanting one as well. Thoughts of dating and a relationship. The fear of being cheated on while being at work. Her actions will blame you because you're taught to be a provider even though times have changed.
Trying to communicate but no one speaks back. Then blamed for it trying to plan work with everyone's schedule. If anyone is forgotten they made no effort to participate. Everyone complains but doesn't care since it's not important to them.
It Hurts to smell your mom reek of alcohol knowing something is wrong but not getting involved took them out for lunch not always available. Would like to be around being your own man and person is important. The love of family is strong but distant because that tough love doesn't make life easy.
Siblings are doing grown up stuff but not helping anyone. Finding reasons to talk about everyone because their life is inadequate. Everyone makes mistake and learning to deal with being wrong just part of the growth process. Not the same person anymore Everyone has a chance to move up and improve. Don't get mad if you're passed up keep doing the work.

The things that mattered to him treated him like he didn't matter. Taking one for the team but the team never had his back. Being called spicy if he opened his mouth. Not saying anything made him feel provoked. Speaking up would lead to more criticism. Trying to do his work and go home home. He thought about dating but that pool is shallow waters and slim pickings. Told to stack paper he knew money couldn't buy happiness.
After a few failed relationships he was okay with his own company. Learned to be more selective and not rush things. He wanted things to come natural not be forced.

He had a dream about a conversation
Dreading the moment thoughts looping
A once sided argument able to ask
The person got an awkward silence
Facing the conflict head on
Always held to a different standard
While the person skirts around the question
Quick to put you on trial judge your being
Calling them on their actions
Makes the person raise their voice
Talks louder fast not letting you express
Your concerns how you see things
Quick to try and change everyone
Not making any effort to change
Over double standards
Over one sided conversations

Away from everyone
Enjoying down time
His heart meant well
No hidden agenda for gain
Being genuine with love
Told the truth facing hate
Not into others drama
Minding his mouth seeing bad
Tired of turning a blind eye
After having an opinion
His character being slandered
Trying to make him look bad
All he did was focus on his faith
Did his part went home to recharge
Can't get the promotion filling the void
Carrying all the weigh hard to breathe
Caring more while everyone leaving
Looking out for others the betrayal
Used up and chewed up spit out

He loved his parents but they expected him to pay for everything. Everyone got quiet when the bill came out. He helped his sister taking them to the parent. His parents were getting old and set in their ways he didn't expect much from family. He learned what not to be instead of saying I want to grow up and do that.

He was hard working paying his bills and minded his business. Over the years he got tired of arguing with his siblings someone was always mad or holding a grudge. He just wanted a normal family but his family was crazy. He thought family would be like the stuff he saw on TV. His up raising was nothing like that especially with his culture.

He didn't like the idea of giving up who he was to be accepted. Being submissive to be liked he was private since everyone seem to think they knew what was best for him. Over made up ideas of success and what others think making it is. Success in his head was not going to come easy or natural since everything he wanted required work and stepping out of his comfort zone.

He wasn't materialistic owing a house doesn't make you authority in the family. Having kids didn't make you success if you never pursued your goals and dreams. Many settled and have the nerve to complain. He respected their decisions. He saw opportunities and chances for change even if it did get complicated.

While he had his up hill battles trying to get the job he wanted or his family being a road block in his ear telling him he was messing up or not going to make it. Called crazy for having a vision in his head an outline that doesn't always turn out accordingly.

Use to be angry over betrayal
Learned to forgive and forget
Momma once said get over it
Treat people right earn respect
So many are petty over BS
Made a promise to not be like that
Do what you know and love
Feeling complete with a humble life
Not take things personal walk away
They don't know you only assumptions
Staying sober not going to relapse
Walk with faith no time for hate
Forgiving for inner peace
No time for an internal grudge within
Stop being jealous mad over the past
Trying to be around show love
Making it easier to walk away

Wearing a mask
Staying away from all
Alone writing feeling safe
More risks insanity in public

Music in these ears
Emotions from the pen
Feelings bleeding out
Inking it all in
Drawing to emotions
Walking down the isle
To theme music
Fans cheering or booing
A fan living the dream
Never thought it would happen
Working for this dream
Only one who seems to believe

He worried for the new child. The parents didn't get along always trying to gain power and control the situation. He loved family but he was tired of hearing this couple argue break up and back together these unhealthy patterns became the foundation of the relationship.
He looked out for his cousin but learned to fade out not get involved he would hear more lies he got tired of more lies. He valued him but felt devalued being around with someone that never had his back unless he needed a favor.
He had his own stuff going on why would he take on the burden of others. He was trying to be supportive to the people who never supported him back. All they did was make a mess cause drama he was done cleaning up the mess he didn't make

It use to be fun now it's not the same
Drinking with family everyone complains
At the bar wanting to be home
Better at home not driving
Instead of overpriced drinks
Use to be fun not anymore
Alcohol doesn't heal the pain
Not able to drown out bad memories
Dealing with problems everyday
Some can be resolved others pending
Walking away from phonies
Once valued them tried coming at you
Now keeping a distance broken trust
After all the lies you stop caring
Endangering others drinking while driving
Care more about drugs than your only child
Hard to watch so much is felt
Asking what's with you
Or why are you doing this?
Get why no one bothers and called a last cause

Too many hold a grudge or end up mad at one another
Intense awkward silence instead of making things right
One will apologies while the other holds a grudge
Using this as a power struggle to feel superior
Too old to be mad with family
It's easier to forgive than divide up the family
Extra tired why carry that burden the guilt destroys all
I wish people would talk things out
Take time to listen understand instead of being selfish
Everyone likes to criticize others
But can't handle it when placed in the hot seat

He looked in the mirror and asked who are you? What have you become? He felt close but slipping trying to find balance restore himself without being self destructive. He realized letting was hard but told himself its for the better. He Told himself don't go back to those bad habits. Be better it failed before you know the outcome. Things wont change all he wanted was to be himself and feel part of something not lower or deny himself to be accepted.
All he wanted was to get along coexist not pretend to be someone others made him out to be. When he belonged he felt himself grow and kept pursuing more. He wanted to change tired of settling cheating himself. He over thought but made sure it was worth his time the steps it took

Home sick for a place the heart craves
That's felt in the heart deprived
But never been there desired to escape
A place where you can feel
Relax without protecting your heart
Be yourself without criticism
Feeling at the edge ready to jump
The fatal fall that changes everything
Going forward not back staying strong
Escape into the dream set free
Lost in the moment feeling whole
The world makes sense at the time
Trying to make it a reality
Dead inside the dream lives on

He went to the batting cages with his sister. It was a process figuring out the timing and when to swing. It took a while but he was able to adjust and adapt to the situation.
It took him back to when he use to coach softball. It was fun it was all new and loved coaching it helped with his people skills and understand the game. He enjoyed the sport. He treated it like a job since he wasn't working at the time.
He use play sports in high school not the biggest guy on the football team but all heart with the best foot work.
He loved coaching willing to work with everyone because when he trained boxing he was excluded told he was to old and didn't get trained well. He observed and listened to everything that was going on around him.
When he held pads for his cousin he was honored he trusted and believed in him. His cousin taught him what he learned.

They were best friends it all ended over some smack talking and a girl. Those glory days are over not talking about anymore. Learned to bite the lip and walk away. Forgave for peace and closure. It ***** when people you love come at you. Try to blame for their faulting mistakes, so they can feel superior feel empowered. I think about the people that fell off, I respect marriage and children. If it was for that what would they be doing. Don't look down on the single who lives his life. Who sometimes drinks too much has fun because work is their only responsibility.
Most don't have it figured out but do their best to make the most of things better their situations. Some have help well others work for theirs.

It ***** dealing with controlling people. Half the time they are wrong but still make a scene. You try to joke with them but everything is serious. So you don't say anything. Then they try to dump some BS on you trying to be funny about it. We aren't on that level.
Some play the role as boss and others act like you owe it to them. I respect your place and what you've done but don't try to bring that chip on your shoulder this way. You punk and bully everyone that's why no one bothers with you. Making a scene doesn't justify your actions.

He would argue and say the truth everyone got mad. It was a struggle for him to be heard. Everyone acts like their social circle matters or contributes. They did nothing for him once he made his own moves they had the nerve to be mad.
They are not responsible for him and will never be happy for him. They never gave him his props and tried to shadow his success because they owned a home. Like if their opinion mattered more or meant anything to him.
He didn't kiss *** but worked hard busting his *** for what he has. He refused to lower himself to be liked and accepted. He was too old to play games be labeled and boxed in. In the end they didn't care they used him and got what they wanted.
They never called unless they wanted something. If they expected anything from him he did favors but never expected anything in return. They mad him mad and sad he minded his mouth and business but their BS kept coming in his direction.

Family is the heart
Grew up around tough guys
A lifestyle we're uncles served time
Talking about your insecurities
Making everything our to be a joke
Expecting to be taken serious
Years of being made fun of you gain hard skin
As you get older you joke back
They are sensitive and can't take it
Your family less fortunate judged harshly
Seen as the black sheep
Family doesn't agree with fathers partner selection
Every family has dysfunction, but quick to target yours
Love always came with terms and conditions
One minute you're in the citcle
Next minute your out with no say or control
Sometimes they love you feel part of something
If your submissive to their ways
Make you proud to be family
Around that tough love that drains your soul
Other times they slander your name

Better to stay away those unsettling feelings returned
Use to think I coukd trust you
Going hard with that guilt trip
Expecting me to give up and let you win
Always had your back so much pain
Saying I love you after ruining things
Insulting others then adding just kidding
Acting like your world is better
Even though I use to be part of that
We use to date it failed part of fate
Everything I was denied you did
Went on without me never good enough
I'm wishing you the best no hard feelings
Ive been focused being better
Find someone to meet your high standards
What you need to be happy
What you're looking for in your quest
It's not me I'm not the one
We could never talk just argue
Doing some shady activities behind my back
Always picking a fight or trying to get me to confess something to justify your wrong doing
Accused of cheating but never alone being together felt smothering
She was watching me but never did anything
Being isolated from friends they don't like one another put in an awkward situation
Everyone leaves in the end another life in another place
Can't remember anymore so far away
Got sober reminder of blurry moments

Playing video games trying to relax
Being scolded by someone with no job
Burnt out from life trying to find meaning
An adventure finding purpose to survive
Not always passionate or inspired
Not trying to be like everyone else
Tried to fit in kept out turned away
After rejection there's no going back
Being denied dound it else where
Refusing to settle for less made progress
The vision within makes sense so close
Working towards goals become reality
Make the dream come true and vivid
Take those steps moving forward
Trial and error gaining results

Walking away was hard but got easier because he had to fight for his spot. Why stay if they had plans to replace him. Being pushed out the welcome feeling was gone.
Tired of compromising himself to fit in and being what others said when he didn't say anything or do anything to give them a reason to talk. He was supportive but when he needed them they were no where to be found.
He would vent but their problems always seemed to be more important than how he felt and what he thought.
He use to give advice try to help he was resourceful never telling people the truth not what they wanted to her.
Most did the opposite or whatever they wanted so he stopped

He did it before dk why are doubting
Doing it more than most not afraid
Worked for his knew what it took
Sad how family is most judgemental
He didn't worry what they did
They're adults that's their business
Anything he did caused them conflict
Mostly minding himself staying away
They criticized ran their mouth
He wasn't taking it or listening
He'd talk no one showed interest
Everyone wanted him to stop to hear
What they had to say for their
Like it would help him
Opposed for taking a stance
Hated for questioning their ways
Not a followed or giving into demands

He knew he'd be excluded for not agreeing seen different for having an opinion. Usually a push over and taken lightly this time he stood his ground.
Why should he give up who he is to be liked to be accepted when everyone else made no changes or a difference to help others. He was tired of all the expectation of others.
They didn't care what he thought or how he felt. Like anything they said or did was more important. He cleared his mind showing no feelings or emotions wore a bold face as they bad mouth him to anyone who would listen. They looked down on him because he didn't give up on himself since he didn't do anything wrong.

I realize people go through stuff and their pride gets the better of them. Their judgement is clouded and quick to lash out on those who differ from them. It's easy to look down on someone for being single when your are married with children. They don't carry the same responsibility.
Working on different shifts has their ups and downs. Sometimes those worlds collides the one who helps everyone gets ******* over. While the one who needs everything done cruises once everyone does the ***** work.
Work is not hard It's about maintaining some people don't value you. All you can do is your job. Doing the work is more important than the drama. Doing extra is key but staying on track is the key.
You do the work what's right. Doing what no one wants to do. Make time fly do the work and go home.

Shunned by your best friend over a girl
You messed with her, he did as well
One was lust the other madly in love
She didn't belong to anyone
One thought he could make her the one
Old time flings ruining modern friends
Broken trust friends never more
A faded friendship from long ago
An apology that's never forgive
Trying to be normal come around
Feeling guilty ashamed living with pain
Everyone pursuing success got a taste
Greedy for more stepping on others
Failure became more common
Stuck on childhood trauma hard to grow
Wrestling with struggle survival skills
Always learning on another level
Old momentum not prepared for new
Doesn't help with new obstacles

Benji hated walking on egg shells. He couldn't say anything but people tried to tell him everything when no one asked. Lots of projection and imposition from others; making it easy for him to be alone.
Everyone was so miserable and sad all he wanted was to be happy. So many drained him of his good vibes. Feeling robbed and cheating himself because he couldn't say anything or have an opinion without everything becoming a personal attack.
He would write in his journal which gave him a voice. He didn't like to argue or go against his family and friends. Becoming a road block he knew they wouldn't like it and he didn't want to do it.
Lots of conflict of interest would cause this friendship to crumble. Feuding with family is the worse not backing down or running standing your ground up for yourself. No terms or compromise only conditions that divide more problems than solutions.

Never one to get mad quick to forgive.
I respect others with different opinions
After being insulted it's time to cut ties
Trying to debate and conversate
Making things person doesn't mean right
Arguing with true facts  taking on lies
Staying on topic while distractions
Makin personal attacks on flaws
Nothing to do with the conversation
Always respectful not welcoming hate speech
Going silent keeping a distance
Staying away from toxic behavior
Took the insults never again
Overcome many obstacles
Don't need peoples approval
They don't have what I want
Even if they did finding another way
Not going through them to get it
Never had family support
It ends up being about them
Everyone has problems
Doesn't mean others will give up their life
Take on their drama keeps getting worse
That they choose to be stuck on
We are not the same or equal
Spoke up looked out got ignored
No sympathy or remorse emotionless
When you told the person
This could've been prevented

The so called homies that stole to feed their bad habits from a funeral fund. Thankful for your help you aren't owed anything. The disrespect to the lost one. Not able to visit or celebrate his life on his passing everyone turns it into happy hour making a fool of themselves.
Its calmed down some have multiple strikes not taking that risk. Others having families being forced to grow up.
Everyone talks about being down or about the crown. Times have changed drugs and beer runs are not cool. Working hard being responsible is more respectable then those short term highs and drinking during the lows.
Grew up around homies wasn't a normal child hood to others but normal part of the heritage.

Learning to prioritize things say what's needed to get it done. How to get there been seeing things as a leader taking charge how to grow and learn with a productive attitude. Dealt with bad leads that want to be the middle man that designate their work on others. Told myself to be active be part of the team. Not tell people what to do but empower them to make the right decisions with the choices provided.
So much to learn from this experience lead by example not make an example of others doing it as well. If I can't do it not going to make others do it. Willing to learn and quick to turn around teach the skills and technique to get it done.
Tired of people acting like no one can do their average joe job. Thinking they are too good but staying in the same place wasting everyone's time. Making gossip at work because people are moving up and advancing while they chose to settle. Everyone respects your decision have respect for those that want to move up.