Walking away was hard but got easier because he had to fight for his spot. Why stay if they had plans to replace him. Being pushed out the welcome feeling was gone.
Tired of compromising himself to fit in and being what others said when he didn't say anything or do anything to give them a reason to talk. He was supportive but when he needed them they were no where to be found.
He would vent but their problems always seemed to be more important than how he felt and what he thought.
He use to give advice try to help he was resourceful never telling people the truth not what they wanted to her.
Most did the opposite or whatever they wanted so he stopped

He woke on ready to take on the world
Not taking anyone's craps
They chose to be that way
And had no right to take their frustration out on others
He left them alone then they tried to come at him
Once he spoke up this vicious strike shook them
Now they are playing the victim
Thinking it could justify running their mouth
Never saying it to your face and talking behind your back
No one cares no one is talking about them

Home sick for a place the heart craves
That's felt in the heart deprived
But never been there desired to escape
A place where you can feel
Relax without protecting your heart
Be yourself without criticism
Feeling at the edge ready to jump
The fatal fall that changes everything
Going forward not back staying strong
Escape into the dream set free
Lost in the moment feeling whole
The world makes sense at the time
Trying to make it a reality
Dead inside the dream lives on

Though this was love
Turns out she's collecting
Being on her way
Trying to side hustle
Making it a job
Instead of trying work for it
Making flash promises
Pretending to be nice
After the transaction is made
The act fades away
Leaving you invested
No returns just cash taken
Leaving everyone used
A one time scam
Never buying that again

Benji hated walking on egg shells. He couldn't say anything but people tried to tell him everything when no one asked. Lots of projection and imposition from others; making it easy for him to be alone.
Everyone was so miserable and sad all he wanted was to be happy. So many drained him of his good vibes. Feeling robbed and cheating himself because he couldn't say anything or have an opinion without everything becoming a personal attack.
He would write in his journal which gave him a voice. He didn't like to argue or go against his family and friends. Becoming a road block he knew they wouldn't like it and he didn't want to do it.
Lots of conflict of interest would cause this friendship to crumble. Feuding with family is the worse not backing down or running standing your ground up for yourself. No terms or compromise only conditions that divide more problems than solutions.

Trying to change older not the same
Losing joy things lost value
Bored with things that use to be fun
Afraid of losing what's left its all gone
Not much left trying to do what's right
Always writing to calm the voices
In this head an overthinking mind
Missing the old growing into the new
From fun to depressing not the same anymore
Wanting to be mentally stimulated
Growing old everyone fades away
No kids while some are having another
Haven't found love with the right one
Some married others now divorced
A broken promise too late to be honored
Friends become foes use to be bros
Over lusting women that never commit
Couples failing trying to make it work
Overcoming obstacles with true love
Some are sober addicted to love
Others drunk with lust wanting more

How much sacrifice till you made it? Long days of over time giving up a social life but wanting one as well. Thoughts of dating and a relationship. The fear of being cheated on while being at work. Her actions will blame you because you're taught to be a provider even though times have changed.
Trying to communicate but no one speaks back. Then blamed for it trying to plan work with everyone's schedule. If anyone is forgotten they made no effort to participate. Everyone complains but doesn't care since it's not important to them.
It Hurts to smell your mom reek of alcohol knowing something is wrong but not getting involved took them out for lunch not always available. Would like to be around being your own man and person is important. The love of family is strong but distant because that tough love doesn't make life easy.
Siblings are doing grown up stuff but not helping anyone. Finding reasons to talk about everyone because their life is inadequate. Everyone makes mistake and learning to deal with being wrong just part of the growth process. Not the same person anymore Everyone has a chance to move up and improve. Don't get mad if you're passed up keep doing the work.

Years of being betrayed still smiling
Tired of hearing lies staying truthful
An open mind on the rise for change
Around good vibes positivity living
Negativity left behind causing struggle
Bringing the world that's going sour
Cutting ties not hurting anymore
Fighting to fit in accepted not belonging
Moving on not that person anymore
It can't be thrown in this focused face
No longer numbing used as leverage
Forgiving oneself not taking the blame
No more living with the morphing pain
Use to be there taking the blame
Not around anymore doing what's loved
Pursuing this passion festering within
Growing strengths fighting through

You think about telling them but think of the man in the mirror staying humble. You lived your life let them live theirs. Wishing things went differently but everything happened for a reason tough changing of seasons.
Trying to help did more for them now they are talking bad about you. Acting like you dk some of their ***** secrets. Not even phased never thought it would happen wrong to think it would be different. Not the exception just another name on your list of people you ***** over.  Now tell the story differently making everyone look bad never saying what you did or have done.
People only hear one side of the story instead of the whole. Live learn and grow be better than those who put you down or talk bad about you. From an open book to closed off. Seen as mean bitter and cruel because not taking lip from someone who takes never helping anyone but themselves.

Being honest with people is not hard. Some can't handle the truth because they are living a lie. Quick to throw others under because they are doing worse.
Thinking they are doing you a favor running their mouth when no one asked. Everyone has problems what makes yours more important than others who are working for theirs. Sick of those who make no effort trying to look down or talk bad about others.
Make sure you're at your best before saying anything to anyone. Dealing with those kind of people is frustrating and insulting at the same. They point out the obvious while doing nothing to contribute talking to people like are someone.

Setting new goals no going back to what tried to break rose above the ones who said it couldn't be done. Called delusional for not settling for less. Had an opinion now treated like an outcast.
Never one of them not trying to force it anymore. Let them go got burned too many times before. Use to being alone found comfort in it. Uncomfortable pretend people, who did wrong would some day see him as an equal. Ignored most of the time only considered when a favor is need half the time not even in the conversation. In the background watching the reign of terror going strong
Faded out no longer empowering the chaos or fighting for a spot since they are quick to push you out. Walked away from the disrespect all the lies. Always told the truth while the lies are accepted used to manipulate others. Not falling for the scam or sticking around had to learn the hard way finally moving on

As he looked at life ready to argue everyone fed up being push and provoked to the limit. They don't care about anyone but themselves. He had a heart of gold but they made him feel worthless. They always want to tell others but never listen or want to change. Owing a house doesn't give you the right to treat others had.
Never been materialist its about how you treat others. He felt like he was losing faith things didn't make sense. He spoke up and everyone let it be. Why is this allowed if its not liked. He was seen as the crazy one because going along wasn't good enough. He made his own way to be judged told he was wrong.

He felt like he was the worse
Blamed himself stood alone
Knocked for being different
Stood alone held on for life
Trying to be normal-ish
Whatever that is now a days
Afraid to be canceled aged out years ago
Everything he's not what others said
Made him more confident
Gain strength from being excluded
Comfy being alone going strong
While others needed company

He would argue and say the truth everyone got mad. It was a struggle for him to be heard. Everyone acts like their social circle matters or contributes. They did nothing for him once he made his own moves they had the nerve to be mad.
They are not responsible for him and will never be happy for him. They never gave him his props and tried to shadow his success because they owned a home. Like if their opinion mattered more or meant anything to him.
He didn't kiss *** but worked hard busting his *** for what he has. He refused to lower himself to be liked and accepted. He was too old to play games be labeled and boxed in. In the end they didn't care they used him and got what they wanted.
They never called unless they wanted something. If they expected anything from him he did favors but never expected anything in return. They mad him mad and sad he minded his mouth and business but their BS kept coming in his direction.

Being called the boss for getting it done. Trying to be well rounded and social with peers. Speaking up for what is needed to get the job done. Asking and working for it has been the mindset. Training to be someone new, be someone much more than before.
Playing with the guitar feeling the vibes setting the tone. Trying to match how you feel what you think. Trying the moment to share your story, asking "who you are," "what have you been through." Does it matter will it help someone make a difference.
Feelings used to fill this page. Years of knowledge that comes with age trying to connect use to being excluded and a reject. Telling it everything to your notebook another voice deeper tone. Always doing some kind of writing for others that's well thought out composed.

Shunned by your best friend over a girl
You messed with her, he did as well
One was lust the other madly in love
She didn't belong to anyone
One thought he could make her the one
Old time flings ruining modern friends
Broken trust friends never more
A faded friendship from long ago
An apology that's never forgive
Trying to be normal come around
Feeling guilty ashamed living with pain
Everyone pursuing success got a taste
Greedy for more stepping on others
Failure became more common
Stuck on childhood trauma hard to grow
Wrestling with struggle survival skills
Always learning on another level
Old momentum not prepared for new
Doesn't help with new obstacles

He didn't fit in but wanted to make it
Take everyone with him be better
Didn't have much poor with family
Trying to do right stay loyal
Everyone doing worse not trying
Praying for them to get sober
Didn't do drugs staying away
Didn't want to relapse kept a distance
Not saying anything made up false narratives
Staying loyal being truthful
Not enabling manipulators

The more he told the truth the better he felt all the lies and BS tired of all the manipulation. They can't beat you alone but with numbers still didn't have the upper hand. Their small world threatened by change made them retaliate.
He knew once he spoke up he was out of this cult circle that had no benefits. Never in his favor didn't have or want the life style they lived. He was loyal to family but it wasn't loyal to him.
It's like you can't have success outside of it. All he wanted was to be happy no one was happy for him. He pursued a degree and came up short. While the rest had kids and got praised

Too many hold a grudge or end up mad at one another
Intense awkward silence instead of making things right
One will apologies while the other holds a grudge
Using this as a power struggle to feel superior
Too old to be mad with family
It's easier to forgive than divide up the family
Extra tired why carry that burden the guilt destroys all
I wish people would talk things out
Take time to listen understand instead of being selfish
Everyone likes to criticize others
But can't handle it when placed in the hot seat

Never one to get mad quick to forgive.
I respect others with different opinions
After being insulted it's time to cut ties
Trying to debate and conversate
Making things person doesn't mean right
Arguing with true facts  taking on lies
Staying on topic while distractions
Makin personal attacks on flaws
Nothing to do with the conversation
Always respectful not welcoming hate speech
Going silent keeping a distance
Staying away from toxic behavior
Took the insults never again
Overcome many obstacles
Don't need peoples approval
They don't have what I want
Even if they did finding another way
Not going through them to get it
Never had family support
It ends up being about them
Everyone has problems
Doesn't mean others will give up their life
Take on their drama keeps getting worse
That they choose to be stuck on
We are not the same or equal
Spoke up looked out got ignored
No sympathy or remorse emotionless
When you told the person
This could've been prevented

He was the bad guy rumors spread
By people who had no say or control over his life
False narrative to justify their harsh behavior
Trying to manipulate others to do the same
He gets why people cut the cord
Why you should match energies
Not let them drain your good vibes
Changing for the better not less
One minute the are behind you
Hyping you up now they oppose you
Not taking them on or bothering
You helped them while they were down
Now their up trying to knock you like if its some kind of trade off

Not getting along starting arguments
No one willing to compromise
Trusting not feeling the vibe
Actions say otherwise no love
Demeanor changed cold shoulder
Hard to comprehend shady behavior
Always honest getting lies in return
The guilty conscience projecting
There's someone else on the side
Red flags denying the truth
Feelings fading away left with lust
Mistakes made thinking there's love
Hurting one another can't force it
From natural to delusional infatuation

This already failed once
It's wrong to think it will change
Break away from what's normal
It's usually bad accepted as the norm
Looking else where for peace
Drained by disappointment
The current location failed
From joy to drained by thought
Walking into a negative environment
Everything feels pointless lost purpose
Failed leaders pretend to be you friend
A lost cause stuck seeking an escape
Something is wrong feeling off
Trying to do what's right detached
Waste of time not bothering anymore

He went to the batting cages with his sister. It was a process figuring out the timing and when to swing. It took a while but he was able to adjust and adapt to the situation.
It took him back to when he use to coach softball. It was fun it was all new and loved coaching it helped with his people skills and understand the game. He enjoyed the sport. He treated it like a job since he wasn't working at the time.
He use play sports in high school not the biggest guy on the football team but all heart with the best foot work.
He loved coaching willing to work with everyone because when he trained boxing he was excluded told he was to old and didn't get trained well. He observed and listened to everything that was going on around him.
When he held pads for his cousin he was honored he trusted and believed in him. His cousin taught him what he learned.

People say you make them look bad, while they chose to be lazy. Respect my hard work and I'll respect your laziness.
Some people will honor you some will try to take you down. People notice so keep your head up and keep going strong.
I grew up in a different generation where if you want it you'll hustle for it. It won't come easy but you'll have to work for it.
Grew up poor sharing clothes waking up early to grab the nice stuff.
You learn quick no one is going to do it for you. So you have to do it yourself. I didn't like hand outs but sometimes you get rewarded for your hardworking efforts.
Trying to move use to be happy doing the work but when you do manager work why not get paid that. Taking the blame when you don't need to be. Using that to make things right make them better.

Ben was thinking about dating after being in a crazy relationship the trauma kept him from diving head first into a new relations. A one night stand that turned into a year and a month relationship.
He was happy to be in a relationship but she was never happy ruining things because she wasn't happy. He tried but it wasn't good enough. After failed attempts to end it. she would mustard up the courage to end it so she could be superior having the upper hand.
Years later she would have 2 children with the guy she cheated on him with and tried to blame him for her actions. He was crushed hurt never going back telling himself to be better not settle for less give up part of himself to be liked to be accepted.

He didnt have pull going against the odds never in his favor unless he's doing favors. Overtime life took its toll on the go. Slowed down hard to find that moment and go. Didn't say or do anything gave them no reason to talk. Hard to open up didn't like being manipulated his feelings and emotions used against him.
He knew to not get involved, do his own thing let them talk. Relapsing feels like the world is collapsing.

He loved his sibling wish he was closer. Everything was always terms and conditions so he stayed away. He just wanted to get along. He didn't care for mind games or the jokes that were packed with insults.
He was older and knew better than to lower himself to that level. Family divided mad because you hung out with a sibling uncomfortable being put in the middle of drama that had nothing to do with you.
Not feeding egos all the pride keeping everyone apart. It was foolish to impose on others thinking your way is best for others life.

Its okay to be different what's not okay is for others to impose their view talk about everyone because they didn't get their way. Not being able to get w reaction so they try to turn others against you.
While you remain loyal and the same not giving into those wicked ways. Staying on your standards not lowering yourself to be accepted. Doing what needs to be done not making excuses.
Staying clear of those toxic talkers that never have anything good to say more problems than solutions. They'll blame you because they don't talk to you. Make it seem like you started everything. All because you had an opinion and spoke your mind. It wasn't what they wanted to hear now they made everything personal. All you can do is cut the ties smile be happy on a new journey without those doubters.
Make it about you after years of putting others first while being used and taken for granted. Only you can do it for you. No one else is going to do it for you. Make the most of things and work with what you got.

Stop trying to probe other so you could have the upper hand. Everyone has problems or going through something your set up doesn't help. Making people feel uncomfortable trying to make them say something you might find empowering in your favor.
Leave people alone your interrogation is uncalled for. Giving advice no one asked for. Talking to people like they are dumb is insulting then expecting them to follow your false ideals. Family or not treat people right and they'll take your opinion into consideration.

He made eye contact it became a staring contest. He starred cold showed no emotions. She stares back with a look of confusion. An awkward silence filled the room. The days are coming to an end. He was working for two locations and she would be leaving soon.
He wasn't big on change but as he got older he started to change with the seasons. It didn't bother him till it actually happened. He was cool with things he didn't want to hold them back. Especially if they weren't happy.

He fought to get in now that he was in he wanted out. He felt disconnected from everyone turns out he was wrong. Hyped them up in his mind seeing good but getting the worse. He gave his all and did his best.  He was different and meant for more tired of settling.
Being used made him better but he knew his hard work would help him ride to the top the next level. He stopped doubting himself and just did what needed to be done

Not sure how to feel what to think
These behaviors are unhealthy not right
Talking on their teems can't even say hi
The tension and awkwardness
Not one to kiss *** abide by made up rules
Not in the same department stay in your lane
Said hi use to being ignored
Don't care for the power trip
Keep running your lip make it easier to split

She told him I could've had you
Too bad it never happened
When he wanted her she had a bf
He was always single living life
Feeling everything yanked around
He wanted to be complete
Searching for cope and peace
The time he was in a relationship
She kissed him on the cheek
He was confused about love
Never had her  love but wanted her
Didn't know how to feel he has someone
It was unfair he remained faithful to his current love
Even though his chance for forbidden love came back around
He tried to stay the same so much change
Everything was different never the same
Still single no children never been married
Some friends had children and married
While others got divorced the young love failed them

Family is the heart
Grew up around tough guys
A lifestyle we're uncles served time
Talking about your insecurities
Making everything our to be a joke
Expecting to be taken serious
Years of being made fun of you gain hard skin
As you get older you joke back
They are sensitive and can't take it
Your family less fortunate judged harshly
Seen as the black sheep
Family doesn't agree with fathers partner selection
Every family has dysfunction, but quick to target yours
Love always came with terms and conditions
One minute you're in the citcle
Next minute your out with no say or control
Sometimes they love you feel part of something
If your submissive to their ways
Make you proud to be family
Around that tough love that drains your soul
Other times they slander your name

Listening to his heart growth
His mind knew better stronger
Thankful refuse to settle earning
Trying to relax feeling restless
Body aches working long hours
Lower back pain training hard
A new look didn't change things
Same person clothes don't matter
Dressed cozy not taken serious
Dressed up looked at differently
Always on others terms and time
Once he made a stand it was on
The world was against him
He couldn't stay silent or play dumb
All these ignorant people talking
Being shunned for having an opinion

Another day almost done about to start
Focused on success trying not to fall apart
Used and abused crazy to comeback for more
Still writing and fighting for mine it's been tough
Not influenced by others who oppose my way
Don't need that negativity please stay away
Toxic vibes they feed on to stay a live
Trying to survive not roll over and die
Cut the cord the history trying to stay relevant
Facing forward in the present live in the moment
Not going back to the past, don't tell me how to act

Learning his lesson after being hurt
Scared to be with the wrong person
Been hurt not trying to hurt others
It came to an end now its too late
Not a debate cant change
How they feel mind is made up
A broken heart needs time to heal
Apologies no one is forgiven
Things won't change too proud
Remain the same too stubborn
Egos clash killing love no remorse
A dueling romance the final dance
Departing starting over again
Something new next chapter
After being treated cruel
Bettering yourself for the future
Learning from the past aftermath

An open heart fueled with passion
Some make it hard being complicated
Trying to match energy not be drained
Giving my all to the best of my ability
Avoiding the rumors believing in us
I saw a future with you
No one is perfect try to be better
Everyone makes mistakes
I've seen beauty in your flaws
I'm not perfect or quick to judge

I walk around in pain mentally and physically but don't give in distract myself with work and helping other. Some are blessed with more and miserable that doesn't make sense.
I don't have the energy to argue because I didn't do anything open to talk but what's frustrating is people say things are okay but talk about everyone. Getting older makes you care less someone always hates you or mad.
People try to change others and never themselves. Quick to hate you because your happy with you got. I've learned you can't do it all or have it all right away. Work for it and go hard. Growing up poor I'm not grandfathered in or handed anything because of my name and who I know.
My work speaks for itself and people will know your work or your bad behavior. Trust is earned not given. Work gets you the respect from peers.