Been doing good, tired of feeling like I don't match up.
Been giving my all, sometimes I burn out no time for myself
Keep coming back for more
Struggling to survive
Struggling to get by without my thoughts consuming me
Trying to not let my emotions get the best of me
The problem is I care too much and will give my all and much more
Find away nothing can keep me down or turn me away
Might cut some slack but not turning my back
Hanging in my room trying to figure it out
Writing is the only way to get it out
Held back but not one to knock others
Pick them out help them be better

When you change your diet it's rewarding
Going back to bad habits is self hatred and torture
You've grown and moved on self improvement
Saying good bye gets easier when you choose peace
Slowing down so much on the mind
It's all hype it breaks down once analyzed
Can't go back to back bad habits
Keep up the progress no longer toxic
They made up their mind so don't bother
You write your story control your narrative
Eventually things work out get better
Put your trust in God do not losing faith

A year of insanity things might
Go back to normal not so much crazy
Less pressure tired of feeling divided
On the outside looking in
Not stressing social structure
All this talk causing frustration
Being told its wrong so much fuss
Taken into consideration
Now someone else is doing it

Been wide awake not able to sleep
Deep down an unsettle feeling
Trying to balance things out
Feels like everything might crumble
Fall apart before these tired eyes
A sore body from pushing through
Trying to beat the clock going strong
Dealing with a lazy leads ego
It's just talking blocking it out
Some will never change their mind
Not expecting much moving forward
Set in their stubborn ways one way
With distance resentment fades away
Time to heals over being stuck waiting
From the old embrace new moving on

Loud thoughts a quiet mouth
A racing mind full of emotions
Trying to find the words
Say it right Be professional
Opened up not use to be heard
Not use to being understood
Excluded appreciation for solitude
Focused on writing to calm the nerves
Organized the clutter that's pent up
Should've said this or done that
Lots of conversations looping
Had a moment to speak a load off
Dk if anyone heard but told the truth

Being the lead trust your skills
Able to do the job best of your abilities
Be an example be part of the team
Not make an example of others
Share and pass your knowledge
Teach everyone there's no excuse
Why it's not getting done
Being more consistent
Finishing strong efficiency

How did she cheat and accuse her partner. She moved on he was happy for her. Once he decided to the same she was angry and mad at him for his actions. Their relationship was over why did old feelings return. He knew he couldn't go back she tried to make it right both of them wrong for one another.

He felt used only when they needed something he became a thought. He took on the burdens but he didn't want to do it anymore. He trusted them but their actions said otherwise.
He learned to process his feelings and emotions. Stopped looking for approval. Doing his own thing. He stopped texting first his phone was for music. He tried to put himself out there not easily received by his peers or crush.
He wanted more than friends with benefits. Hoping it would lead to more. Tired of being placed in the friend zone. He was over all the one sided friendships and relationships. Feeling unworthy not good enough He deserved better.
His peers bad mouth him behind his back never to his face. Always held him to different standards.

The day it all came out All the anger
You loved the job but all the bs rules
Contradicting double standard was infuriating
Respect for the older gentlemen but those rules trapped in your mind
Never good enough maximum effort no emotions
Giving your all your everything all heart no glory
Determined to win a rigged game
Trying to be perfect stopped by flaws
Never complimented or given props
Always reminded the mistake the mistake always pointed out
Every flaw noticed made all the effort lose value
Stopped looking for a approval tool charge
The only one doing the work going strong blocking out the bs from the lazy

Glad to have one or two reliable friends so much betrayal disappointment trusting the wrong people. His best friend got with his crush that's where it all began. Another close friend tried to make the moves on his GF another reason he got sober. He showed them love and all they did was bad mouth him. He became forbidden fruit and it lead to more problems. He didn't talk about anyone that tried to destroy his image.
He didn't hype those haters or trigger them not walking into their trap.
Turned away let them have everything but it wouldn't be the same anymore. He let them have all the tainted things because he moved onto something better.
Letting go was easier than holding on. He didn't **** up or brown nose. Showed love and respect to those who treated him right. Those that kept him out he went where he could be himself not bother with anyone anymore. If he couldn't be himself; he didn't belong there. If they made him fight for his spot it wasn't worth it even after proving himself worthy.
He didn't believe in ******* up or brown nosing he busted his *** worked harder and gave his all in his work. He stopped taking it personal and getting personal focused on his work.

Those toxic ways are not love
Laying next to a stranger
Not knowing who you are
What you've become is no longer fun
This lust will never amount to love
Forcing broken failed love
The respect gone amounts to nothing
Trust will never be whole only divided
Loathing one another's presents
Not able to be in the same room
No communication just arguments
Sick of the lies nothing was real
Easier to hate each passionately
Instead of making the wrong right
No terms or conditions more problem
Easier to stay away the only solution

I respect when others go through stuff but they have no right to take their frustration out on those that dk what's going on or not part of the problem that caused them misery.
Spreading it to others in a time; where people don't say sorry. If they do the apology is not accepted, but a tool to hold a grudge to valid their righteousness.
It's easier to walk away than stay and argue with them because they take on roles pretending to be someone they are know with guilt and power trips. Always had respect even when they cause a seen to manipulate using humiliation. They need to stay in their lane because they don't know the inconvenience to get the job done.

He loved his family but didn't like them trying to tell him how to live his life. Especially they didn't have their stuff together.
He didn't have kids so he could go out with no curfew. Being single could be lonely but he had the freedom to date and see anyone he wanted.
Anything he did seemed to bug them. He had a type who knew skin tone would be a factor but old family traditions they wouldn't approval.
All he did was work he wanted a life outside of that before he'd work hard and they'd make him feel like it was a waste of time
Now he's working hard and actually getting props and the credit he deserves. He was cutting people he didn't agree but still respected them. While those opposers made everything personal because they can't debate so they slander his character.
He missed them but didn't belong he thought he made a mistake but things are better and feeling right. It's better than expecting the worse.
He was honest with people while they through lies in his path. Becoming detours because they needed to be the center of attention. He walked away and minded his mouth one of the best moves

He had a dream about a conversation
Dreading the moment thoughts looping
A once sided argument able to ask
The person got an awkward silence
Facing the conflict head on
Always held to a different standard
While the person skirts around the question
Quick to put you on trial judge your being
Calling them on their actions
Makes the person raise their voice
Talks louder fast not letting you express
Your concerns how you see things
Quick to try and change everyone
Not making any effort to change
Over double standards
Over one sided conversations

Some want to go back
Be fixed by what broke them
Live that moment where they felt whole
Even if that was lived short time
Fix things that go worse overtime
Or do nothing because trying didn't help
Mistaking lust for love minds confused
Hearts broken due to obsession
Heated romantic passion fades away
Places that brought joy are gone
Long lived memories from the past
Another  chance if that's possible
An opportunity to do things differently
Not there anymore reminiscing
Out grew that with time so much change

Stop blaming your parents they did everything they could you chose to do drugs. You've been given so many chances everyone is fed up. You got your way while ******* people over. You're a grown many I shouldn't have to be telling you. Yet you are quick to play the victim because your baby mommas' want nothing to do with you. They got tired of the lies and trusting your word that left everyone disappointed. It's your life we could only say so much you are your own person.
The drugs could only keep you wired for so long then you'll crash avoid what little responsibility that's left. Showing up counts especially when the standards have been lowered.
Always pray for those who are battling  addiction or an alcoholic. Getting clean is the hard part sometimes you have to isolate yourself and ask "what do you want?" How do I get there and avoid those that feed into your bad habits. It's a tough journey on a lonely road. You'd like people there but no one listens they'd rather tell you how to live your life than be supportive.

Letting trying not to obsess
Can't fix the wrong
Trying to be better
Made mistakes but learned
Tired of feeling weighed down
Moving forward can't wait around
Caring too much for others
While others shut you out
Trying to be myself without guilt
Over the intense hostility
Didn't do anything wrong
Keeping a distance getting bad vibes
Not saying anything to make it worse
The bitter ****** express says it all
Trying to make it to the end of the day

Sometimes it feels like the world is after you because of an opinion or differences cause conflict over a disagreement. Working for everything called entitled which is a lie since everyday is a fight to be heard to be understood.
After being kept out their opinion doesn't matter since all they do is bad mouth you behind your back. No one is talking about them or cares what they think because they knock others instead of build them up.
Working hard to get through the shift moving up means dealing with people is a headache while the degrading pay mildly attempts to make up for it.
Learning its okay to do it, after many years of people saying NO not believing in you. Telling you you're not right or wrong because you didn't it their way. You start to think I'm the one doing it. Why does it matter? In the end, do they even care?

Being able to escape the bad
Focused more on the good
Stopped letting family be discouraging
Asking what I want instead of giving in
Not giving up lost in learning
The bass guitar a connection to a grandpa that passed
Drawing use to stare at a blank page
Not thinking too much letting things flow
The creative process able to feel again
Moments at the track escaping home
Bettering your mind and body
Life's not bad being around toxic people
Made it easy to leave without looking back
Not involved anymore
The childhood trauma
Doesn't continue in adulthood

Loving family unconditional even if they cuss you out. Disrespect you because they dk how to cope or deal with their emotions. Letting their feelings get the best of the situation wanting you to talk to them not willing to listen.
Acting like they are better than you thinking they have the upper hand being ignorant. Expecting you to lower yourself to be accepted. Asking your opinion but real want you to side with them say what they want to hear. Dealing with the problem stop looking for excuses. Complaining about a bf that is egotistical but staying loyal looking like a fool. While a brother who cheats on a girl he doesn't like follows everyone not having an opinion of his own. As an older sibling watching this insanity they have the never to call you the crazy one for being single wanting a healthy relationship not emotional crutch of a partner.
He told his story straight to the point seen as wild or crazy realizing he was wrong or made mistakes still owned up.

Put on gloves did some rounds
Put on mitts did some more
Trying to remember it all came back
After a while the passion within woke up
Technique and form bounced back
The combo count hands placement on mitts
Don't care for macho ego or favoritism
Got tired of the back seat on the back burner

He sat in the back observed and listened to everything on it was all new to him. He didn't like being the center of attention because someone would try to knock him for being different.
Keeping a low profile and working behind the scenes felt more common. Writing his thoughts and ideas enjoying the creative process hoping to do something with it.
He liked to working with others being a team not let the guy who did nothing take all the credit for the team effort. Making nothing into something building off ideas

They don't mess with you or bother
Unless they need something
Look down on you treat you like ****
Like you don't matter feeling invisible
Trying to be the guy make a difference
Being the go to guy getting it done
Don't pretend to be friends
After dumping your work on me
Covered for everyone can't miss work
Everyone calls out filling the void
Dealing with the burden of others
Helping getting ******* over
Can't win find balance feeling drained
Everything thrown off on the edge
Trying to be centered be composed
Sick of it all the toxic spread
Wasting time with the wrong people
Just want to get away

Had so much hope cloudy days
Smiled through the bad times
Feels like time is running out
Not too late feels near the end
Thought it would happen
Hard to find the one after many
Trying to love without being hurt
Back on track after being derailed
A vision within another outcome
The results once mattered
Never turns out accordingly
Trying to make it on another path
Aiming to win comeback from being last
Learned way more from failing
Easy to be dismissed than be understood ready to leave the hood

Waking up tired
Composing myself for the day
Turn the coffee *** on
Creamer in my cup in the mug
Waiting to pour a warm delight
Taking that first sip
Getting the energy to take on life

Not always the good guy
Only one side of the story is being told
Never said anything bad
While others project false beliefs
Spoke up against imposed ideals
Excluded for having an opinion
Allowed to disagree have differences
Not a yes man speaking on one's self
Friends fade grow a part over time
Due to conflict of interest
Family should love you more
Since  they can't compromise
Trying to slander your name
Make relatives think less of you
One voice means nothing alone
Use the masses to gain power
The power trip causes the downfall
Comfortable being disrespectful
Eventually, toxic takes down the mass
The truth remains overpowering lies
While the manipulator is exposed

He told her, he'd take her to dinner; once he got hired on full time. He was a part timer, who worked like a full timer. They were good friends but his plans would be ruined. She had a bf he respected those boundaries.
The job wasn't hard but they didn't provide a full-time position. He applied else where trying to find what he wants what he was looking for.

From being the problem
Now providing the solution
Healing from the bad
Awake feeling better
Life breathed into the soul
A smile that brightens the day
Eyes glow with purpose
Begun a new staying true
Focused on doing good
Away with the negative cruel

People let him down all the time he never said anything and did it on his own. While others expect and don't try then have the nerve to complain. He began to cut away toxic people because they were only nice to him when they needed a favor. If he wasn't doing favors they didn't care of give a **** about him.
He was tired of people snaking around pretending to like him while they did shady stuff acting like they did right by his side. They did him ***** while he watched them run his act on new prey.
He didn't want to associate with weasel faced snakes. That would violate his personal space to cover their own spineless backs. Trying to take credit from others with so called brilliant ideas that would be placed to sponge off others claiming it to be a team effort.

He use to walk into enemy territory with a smile. They came at him but he settled the score behind the scenes. He use to take pride in serving those who did him a ***** a receipt. The betrayal become personal He looked out for them and had their back.
He found out they'd bad mouth him slander his character. This bad boy rep did him a favor rather than changes others perspect of how they seen  him. Everything against him was frustrating he knew not to go against family but they had it out for him. He never dated an ex of a friend or relatives.
All these made up ideals kept him out or tried to change him just to be accepted. It wasn't worth it so many people had more than him and still ungrateful. He was less fortunate but still thankful Pursuing his dreams and crafts to enhance his talents.

He wasn't taken serious seen as a joke. They think he's a push over once they crossed the line they'd be surprised when he checked them put them back in their place. He was over all the insults backhanded complements.

He laid down staring at the wall praying for answers hoping to provide solutions tired of all the problems. He thinks what's next how can he use his writing to be able to move onto the next level.
He always wanted to do his best give his all when hes not sure. How it would all go down.

He wanted to control his narrative so many rumors that circled round. They cut him off and pushed him out made it on his own. There was no going back  do or die. The world was dark and cruel he kept chasing the light.
He zoned out from all the bad and toxic. Kept doing what he liked and loved. Stayed true to himself since everyone was going through something. He respected their situation while they tried to ruin his moment because nothing was happening for them.

The inner term oil burned out
Not writing from anger and frustration
Focused on health instead of taking on the bitterness of the world
People that don't value you, or your opinion
Avoiding toxic environments
Not going back to uncomfortable place
Forgetting those that violated trust
Broken down boundaries
Trust and respect no longer exist
Moving away from things that hurt
Not reliving old pain in fading memories
Cut the lust focused on something real
Love within grows strong as hate goes away

Use to have tons of friends now sitting alone. Dated many women still single. Hardest work in the room still not full time. Had an opinion got seen as the enemy. Shared feelings seen as weak. Showing emotions to have them be ignored. These are the worse feelings dealing with being alone makes sense but feeling denied seen as a reject. Those labelers are wrong dk the truth with their made up stories to feel superior.

Use to be angry over betrayal
Learned to forgive and forget
Momma once said get over it
Treat people right earn respect
So many are petty over BS
Made a promise to not be like that
Do what you know and love
Feeling complete with a humble life
Not take things personal walk away
They don't know you only assumptions
Staying sober not going to relapse
Walk with faith no time for hate
Forgiving for inner peace
No time for an internal grudge within
Stop being jealous mad over the past
Trying to be around show love
Making it easier to walk away

Told you I loved you from the heart
All you did was run away
Told I wasn't the one rejected
Replaced with someone else
Love wasn't enough to stay together
Feelings didn't matter a crumbling end
Two lover to complete strangers
A passionate kiss gone numb
Emotionless no longer a connection
No more feelings shared wedged apart
Deep hurt within no reasons given
Hard to make sense of the situation
Obsessed walking in denial seeking truth

He wanted the answers but ended up with more questions. No solutions just more up in the air problems that would eventually end up in his lap taking on what he could handle. Praying and laying in bed with music playing singing helped his find closure and peace. He thought he could make a different looking in the mirror seeing an older man who was tired. Seeking meaning and purpose seeing his opportunity go to another person. He was denying the truth but happy for the person.

Why was it an issue when he was going through something. Everyone had troubles and included everyone. It was no one's business but their own. He was a private person he didn't burden or bother anyone.
He enjoyed his peace cutting people off. Tired of jealous people comparing and judging others. Work for yours and do your own thing he strongly believed. He's been doing the work for years but not sure what to do with it. Writing on a few platforms speaking on his podcast. His outlets ways to express himself without his words being twisted giving others an excuse to talk because they had too much time on their hand