Obsessed with work it broke this heart
Showing up do the job and going home
Getting a life outside of this old building
Reaching out to old friends  
Should meet new people to befriend
Most have kids or married
Hated being the third wheel
Doing my own thing always mattered
Being my own person on the go
No one speaks on my behalf
I don't belong to anyone rolling solo
Sometimes it feels right filled with doubt
Once it goes wrong ready to escape
It all fades away miss what was
Not caring about what it has become
A failed mess Obsessed with the best
Stuck settling for the worse getting less

A day of writing down on the page
Clearing the mind free from stress
Processing emotions after experiencing
Coping with feelings every encounters
Not defined by others defining ones self
Personal growth from all those moments
Stories to tell from those series of events

Dealing with my elders I
I respect their way of life
But don't **** on my way
I appreciate you looking out
I'm trying to be my own man
My own person I learned who not to be
Wish I had more positive influences
Doing something no one tried
While everyone sticks to the routine
Breaking old habits being better
Trying to not be consumed
By failed family traditions
Haters talk bad always up to no good
Trying to maintain not back in the hood
Over coming physical pain
Heal from the emotional trauma
Expressing concerns seen as issues
Trying to get answers from the wrong ppl
Trying to grow mentally develop personality
Same Haters try to cut down the process
Too much or not enough grew up to be tough

Haven't had a good friend for a while most get in a relationship and forget about friendships. Busy with work they are bad at making time for friends. Working graveyard trying to catch up on sleep man. The couple made the relationship work with marriage or kids keeping the bond strong.
Getting older working for it while others are given it all never happy or thankful for what they got. The women that caught his eye are in a bad relationship or not into him. Learning to make himself happy not expect others to do it

The cold grey sky made this morning
A refreshing breeze full of moisture
Eerie weather feels right all the time
Lost in the world found in writing
Dealing with others has it's moments
Loving regardless of what's happening
Expressed emotions triggering others
Wasn't attacking observing a situation
Jokes taken serious made personal
Hostile personalities causing conflict
Not into confrontation working harder
Not backing down standing strong
Focused on what matters

They try to shut you down. You do it yourself. You're tired of them draining your good vibes so you give them nothing. Save your good vibes for people that appreciate your positive vibes.
Before you'd give them a reason to talk now you give them nothing.
Take your power back because they feed of drama. You mind your mouth and business take shots but you don't scoop down to their level. Head up faith strong stay true to yourself. Forgive forget move on to give yourself inner peace

Played with the bass thought of grandpa inspired to learn. Play the songs played with the band. Feeling connected figuring it all out starts to feel natural as it comes together. Each riff comes together from the tabs trying to make them proud. Believe in yourself since everyone doesn't always believe. Keep bring open to learn and grow. Over grieving from the hurt. The pain vibrates up feel it in those bass strings. Writing lyrics to share a story. Show emotions after being criticized for caring. Feeling it all melt away each strum nice and slow starting to play faster.

More to life then doing the same old bull
Everything so boring need stimulating and new
Not holding back even though my mouth gets me in trouble
Bounced back not staying down so many entitled talking like I owe them to be honest don't even know them
When I was with my friends you always hating assuming the worse
Now your dating with someone less but I don't care you can have my blessings

Owe it to them to be better
Don't want to leave them
Want to give them more
Take risks to better the situation
Grasp opportunity to help them
They always helped when needed
Time to return the favor
Miss the mat room
A place away from home
Coaching softball dealing with talent
Working has lost the spark
Time for change instead of missing
Should be doing living to the fullest
An oath made to lost loved one
Doing things to the full potential

Being himself is all he needed. They expected him to change. He knew who he was and what he wanted. She had these wild ideas and assumptions about him. He knew she would never be happy by denying himself pretend to be someone he's not. All he wanted was for her to like him it was too much and overwhelmed.

He hated the holidays because he lost loved ones. Everyone gets socially awkward copes differently. He just remembered the good times. While others got drunk or belittled others to feel secure about themselves.
He couldn't honor their death everyone cracked beers at the cemetery.
He went on his own time and randomly. He enjoyed the quiet remembering loved ones praying to God for peace and closure. Preferred to be alone than be around people; who tried to tell him, how to act, or feel. It was insulting to be around people; who thought less of him. Ignored him because the focused on material possessions than intellect.

Digging down deep to find closure
A text from an old friend
A smile in the past in the future
Calls from yesterday for better days
Dreams of a past lover never forgotten
Taking risks due to bad communication
Watching movies to pass time
Writing to compose the boredom
Sleeping to recharge heal the body
Music to rest continue to heal

Trying to stay intact loving them hard
Never had your back the betrayal
Unless you're doing favors
In their favor wasting others time
Sad to see them go if their not happy
Better to say good bye than hold on
Wishing them the best nothing less
As they move on did his own thing
He focused on the work every detail
Trying to improve the situation
Making the wrong right with family
Forgiving others hard to trust
All the verbal attacks behind his back
Spoke up now everyone is mad
Open to change with some criticism
Taking advice suggestions that bubble
In the back of the mind cycling away
Memories fading not holding a grudge
Not open to being told how to do so

Made out to be the bad guy
Doing more than the minimum
Changing it up not just showing up
Leaving it out there put it on the line
Doing the work that need to be done
Everyone easily offended making demands
Running their mouth fully flawed
Can't say anything making it personal
Twisting the narrative with hate
Judging others flaws to get an edge
Instead of bettering themselves

She went out on him, and knew he loved her. She wondered if he would take her back. She made it so complicated to go back would he embrace her return.
After meeting in college both went in their separate direction. He chased his career while she settled down had kids now divorced. They cross paths once again so much change.

He vented about things to clear his mind. All he wanted to say was **** and mind your business. Tired of everyone talking about each other instead of to one another.
Walking eggs shells as everyone did way worse pretending to be better than you. That's on them no one bothers to make it right. They'd rather hold a grudge than make things better.
Everyone talks loud when you aren't around but when you walk up they stare with an awkward silence. He smiled and said hi even when he got the cold shoulder.

He started to draw he always wanted to make a comic but shading was complicated. He could see it in his head not able to put it on the page. While writing he could explain it talking about it made the feelings come into existence sometimes it mattered other times it was passing.
He stayed single because his difficult relationships made him be and act like someone else he said never again. All he wanted was to be loved and accepted while being torn apart for tough love. He made it easy for his partner while she made it hard for him to be comfy in his own skin. He was never materialistic he believe it was about how you treated people even if they wronged him and did him *****.
People would come and go like the seasons he didn't fight for them since they wanted out who was he to come between their happiness. His chapter was over thankful for the memories and good times during those dark periods.

He put grew it having a brew taking in the scene. Out of place not sure where he belonged or fit in. He has a crush on the bartender but didn't make his move he wanted to be financially stable so he could match efforts. By the time he secured the job she ended up with someone else.
They talked she gave him relationship advice since he was single. He felt a connection but did miss his chance and moment. His love life was slim pickings as he got older. The dating pool is like a shallow puddle of mud.
Everyday he thought about it so many missed chances and opportunities. People had luggage personal issues and kids from a previous commitments that weighed them down.
He wanted to start a new with them but stuck on the old a head strong mind set that refused to change.

Ray would ask his coworker "why me?" Zoe response would be "why not?" Ray would vent bounce ideas of zoe. It helped him grow and come to terms with things because Ray's life wasn't bad but things got out of control. He liked a girl that moved on but never gave him a chance. Saying to himself, she would regret that day. He had dreams and goals trying to utilize his talents within.
Everyone told him it couldn't be done seen him as crazy, but they never tried why did their opinion matters why did they care.
Ray wanted to write comedy and loved MMA he saw contradiction in them. He realized he wouldn't be able to fight/compete his whole life. He'd come back to it doing things people didn't understand, but he didn't get others visions or hidden agendas. Tired of changing for others; while they made no effort to accept his perspective.
It feels like a rap battle he knew how to argue and debate while others make it personal and insult your being since they didn't have a steady foundation.

Holding on to the old life
It was all that was known
Letting go of the old life
There's no going back
Live with soul it starts to show
Life goes forward changed over time
Broke free from bad vibes feeling alive
No longer connected to toxic behavior
"It will comeback to them"
Is what I keep telling myself
Minding this mouth being silent
Keeping to myself  avoiding fools
Doing my own thing appreciating life
Most of all minding my business
Failed attempts lead to something better
Gave up on a relationship lost all value
Not good enough no value over the pain
Focused on gains moving up in private
Working in secret being behind the scene

His love for her was strong but he had his doubts. Usually Minding his mouth because she was sensitive. She would pick fights and argue, he was alert since he didn't say or do much. She'd accuse him of cheating but he was always around.
When he went out it was rare; she would blow up his phone. Assuming the worse, shes the one, who made up all these rules that didn't apply to her. He trusted her and when she went out she would blow up his phone.
Asking why he didn't call her. He told her you wanted to go out have fun while he composed himself.
The relationship was difficult feeling like he couldn't do anything right. Time away was appreciated even though he had no clue, how to fix this failing relationship.
Struggling being told "I love you" after being emasculated and felt like his feelings didn't matter.
He knew it was time for a change. It was a power struggle to end things she wouldn't let it be over.
Eventually he'd shut down and she had to be the one to end it to feel superior. Being set free not sure who he was and what he wanted after being in a toxic relationship he had to reinvent himself.
Staying sober getting himself and his crap together because his friends bailed on him since it was hard to balance friendships and a relationship. Put in the middle of an awkward situation. Wishing everyone could get along and coexist with out being forced to choose a side.

This already failed once
It's wrong to think it will change
Break away from what's normal
It's usually bad accepted as the norm
Looking else where for peace
Drained by disappointment
The current location failed
From joy to drained by thought
Walking into a negative environment
Everything feels pointless lost purpose
Failed leaders pretend to be you friend
A lost cause stuck seeking an escape
Something is wrong feeling off
Trying to do what's right detached
Waste of time not bothering anymore

Hoping to find love
Tired of diluted feelings
Feels real not going to work out
Looking past flaws accepting
Every flaw need to be corrected
Each mistake puts up a wall
Holding a grudge hard to say sorry
Never forgiven kept at arms length
Siblings at one another like strangers
Showing love getting hate
Taking the bad instead of the good

Talking to you like you're an idiot
Trying to project their BS on you
Listen to them talk in the end
They are wrong they do you
Know your story or what you've done
Your struggles within all the obstacles
Overcome hardship working hard
Plowing down the ******* of life
Mental anguish burning up peace
Thick skin for rough times taking it
Long periods of pain and pressure
No coping or closure onto the next

I love my family but some have me asking how the hell are we related? I'm not close to anyone but do love everyone. I get you hide your insults in humor. Why do you get **** hurt when the favor is returned. I'd say sorry but you won't forgive me. I don't mind being the black sheep because you praise the bad seeds. I've always showed respect but when you cuss me out I want nothing to do with you and don't care to associate. I get you are blameless so let me carry the burden.

Sorry for your loss losing a loved on must be hard. Seeing close friends hurt is hard to watch. Wanting to help not sure how or what to do. Being supportive isn't enough. If taking pain was a power I'd like to use it to make people better. Sad for them trying to understand more questions than answers.
Learning to be around during those tough times. Anxiety takes over when bad is going on. Feeling overwhelmed when people argue or cry not sure what to do. Would like to help but not sure how. Always praying for others health and their needs are met.

Working to pay the bills over the same old routine dealing with others demands after a while he asked what would they do without him. Half the time they dump on him and treat him bad when they don't get their way. Use to being ******* over they talk about him but he's not saying anything because once they are triggered they think they have the right to take him down so they feel secure about themselves.
He just wanted to ask out the girl he had a crush on. Go on a date have fun all he did was work with bossy demanding people. He gave and didn't expect anything in return. He loved to write it made sense he could feel and be himself without judgement or hide himself because they don't care about him just expecting results. He wrote feeling free observed and analyzed his life. He made mistakes and gave up his social life to be sober because most of his friends drank it wouldn't help him get clean.
Stayed single because his relationships got complicated he wanted to balance it out have both but it wouldn't work out in his favor. His needy jealous insecure girlfriend would make him feel bad because he didn't listen or do things her way. Not able to enjoy life with friends because once his friends got in a relationship they chose that over his friendship.

It felt like the world was against you some alway mad or hating trying to take you down. Once you stop comparing and blaming your self the weight of the world shifts away. Trying to make miserable people happy stealing your joy because they are never satisfied. Doing your own thing what you love what makes you happy.
After the heartache of thinking highly of others that don't value or respect you. Seeing the best in them as they project the worse on you. Breaking away is the best feeling doing it for yourself without criticism or negative nagging in your ear. Missing certain people but if they aren't good you don't need them bringing you down.

The worse feeling is you are genuine
While dealing with liars that will BS
Being open and honest means nothing
Placed on the back burner time to walk
Now the solution to all the problem
Made out to be the crazy one for standing
While the rest did nothing let it crumble
Kept out of the inner circle better off without
Still doing the work with maximum effort
Pride taken in the work ethic being solo
The group of bullies playing victim
After slacking off getting caught up

Writing the truth coming to terms moving on trying to shake this funky mood. All the double standards they got it all trying to control others life making them miserable with their opinion no one asked. Pretending to do a good deed in it for their own selfish gain.
Making a scene because they think, they are right. walking away not trying to argue or fight. They are toxic trying to justify their wrong. Fuming from the frustration all the anger stood tall won nothing just a waste of time same old BS a fool for expecting change

Just because we are related doesn't mean you know me. You dk my my story or what I've done. Just because you talk over me doesn't make you right. Don't tell me how to live my life when you used and stepped on people to get where your at. Minding my mouth and business not fighting to stay or arguing to be heard.

Sad how you twist and turn the narrative acting like you've done no wrong pointing the blaming judging everyone. Trying to turn the family against you thinking you're superior in the end your mouth will double cross everyone you care more about being right than what you do to others. Knocking everyone instead of being open minded

Playing kick ball body still aches
Mind feels young but the body reacts
Being able to open up is new
Speaking up and being heard is new
Working hard and appreciated took time
A whole new experience growth
Compared to jobs that don't care use you
Usually professional doing the work
Not focused on drama or distracted by outside factors

Why can't we get along? Someone is always mad or offended. Jokes turn to insults not able to communicate with one another. Families divided not trying to argue or fight to be heard. Excluded trying to fit in but once you do your own thing all of a sudden considered. they decide you are liked because you found a way without them.
Not seeking approval anymore being your own person. Feeling against the world onto of internal struggle

It ***** when you're trying to change and you feel provoked. Giving your best while they bring out the worse in you. Just pray and walk away.

Learning his lesson after being hurt
Scared to be with the wrong person
Been hurt not trying to hurt others
It came to an end now its too late
Not a debate cant change
How they feel mind is made up
A broken heart needs time to heal
Apologies no one is forgiven
Things won't change too proud
Remain the same too stubborn
Egos clash killing love no remorse
A dueling romance the final dance
Departing starting over again
Something new next chapter
After being treated cruel
Bettering yourself for the future
Learning from the past aftermath

Don't like to argue with anyone already an internal struggle with trying to do what's right. Easier to write it down than speak it words wont come out losing the train of thought searching for the words. Mouth goes mute have to force it up project loud or wont be heard so many words.
Trying to get along not force things to work out especially if they aren't meant to be. Open mind and heart hardwired different from the rest.