Staying up till 2 am writing
Scenarios playing out
Reality has a different out come
Seems right mentally
Physical things don't play out
From making moves to sidelines
No credibility because of false promise
Called out the liar more lies and denial
Uttered words that hold no value
Actions are more than useless excuses

Got tired of being a yes man picking up the slack
People are a no show can't keep filling in
It was suppose to be part time but feels like a life time
Did all the grunt work while the gloryhounds take the credit
So much going on don't have time for my life
Once I said no that shadows all the good I've done
Been going strong facing forward taking on the world
Everyone is rude when they don't get their way
Doing my best to progress not settle like the rest
Ask questions because theres too much scandal going on
Doing the work, the way things are going is wrong

Outside practicing the bass guitar
Wanting to play a gig feel the vibe
The Adrenaline rush feeling alive
Trying to get better writing lyrics
Share your stories with the world
Past experiences explored for entertainment
Weird people encountered on this  journey
Many awkward social interactions overtime some might connect and understand
While most will reject without agreeing
Allowed to disagree have your own opinion
Maintaining love showing respect
Talking without hatred being bias

Part of life is done no going back
It hurts so bad the betrayal
A knife to the heart for trusting
The disappointment eats at you
Feeling closed off from the world
Seek new start over fresh beginnings
Ready to shut down fade away

If I said sorry would you forgive me
I admitted I was wrong why can't things be right.
Use to be a close friend now you see me as a worthless stranger
Just because we are blood doesn't make us equals
You think your better than me oppose our differences
The love became betrayal loathing one another
Use to talk now we are on nonspeaking terms
One sees it as a game the other refusing to play
One giving love the other turning everything into hatred
Talking loud doesn't make it right
Talking about the person instead of to them doesn't fix things
Everyone thinks they are right both wrong full of pride

He entered the room and felt weird. He would mingle with the crowd but still felt like he was being watched. He made eye contact with an old face. Her eyes pierced his soul; he didn't know what to say. They had a bad fall out, they both dreaded the moment. He was uncomfortable never thought this would happen. He smiled and said hi. Her cold eyes would show him no emotions. They both made mistakes one forgave while the other held a grudge. So much history in the end it didn't even matter it all fell to pieces.

Tables turned numb not showing emotions
Against all the odds standing tall not backing down
Not friends only coworkers making a living
Going forward no longer looking back
Took a step forward got ignored
Waited long enough invested my time
Came up short what a waste
Onto the next meant for better

Trying  to please your elders
They've done it with experience
Many times before it's second nature
You like to learn from them
Too bad you have other ideas
The plans are similar different times
Experienced passing wisdom
The inexperienced gaining perspective
Find a place to call home feel safe
Passed up so much inconvenienced
Asking what if wanting that moment
Scared of missing on that opportunity
Hoping for a chance not always sure
On the edge Trying to easy in
Cope to feel whole with emotions
feelings to fill the hole within

Waking up random hours of the night
Haven't been able to write
Always behind the scenes
Feeling trapped meant to escape
Around so much hate not feeding into it
They try to flip it lome Jedi mind tricks
Someone in their mood ruining the day
Overcome by focused on work
Trying to break this writers block
Asking what you want this project to be
How do you prepare for the outcome

Sometimes you take the L and learn
Dealing with your emotions is hard
Trying to not be vulnerable trying to help
It ***** when you care more than most
Venting doesn't help being humble
Trying to do what's right no matter
Proved wrong feeling cheated
Robbed of joy doing what you love
On the outside looking in
Holding back tears such agony
Made out to be the bad guy
Trying to be normal never gonna be
Always excluded or treated different
Taking on the burden shaking opening up
People don't care unless you produce results
Quick to point out your flaw
Never happy for your efforts
Waiting to see you fail
Smiling at your down fall
Expecting the worse is normal
Hoping things get better
While you wish them the best

Just because we are related doesn't mean you know me. You dk my my story or what I've done. Just because you talk over me doesn't make you right. Don't tell me how to live my life when you used and stepped on people to get where your at. Minding my mouth and business not fighting to stay or arguing to be heard.

Sad how you twist and turn the narrative acting like you've done no wrong pointing the blaming judging everyone. Trying to turn the family against you thinking you're superior in the end your mouth will double cross everyone you care more about being right than what you do to others. Knocking everyone instead of being open minded

Hard to move on something new
Looking back is the worse
Anxious to go back to what was known
Time apart dealing with the pain
Able to move on and grow
Coping with emotions that are pent up
Feelings overwhelmed not going numb
Broken heart emploding within
Failed love drank some ***
Feeling like a **** over this loss
Moving on to new something fresh
Healing from transplant surgery
Speeding through to recovery
Old friends in the heart like family
Memories and thoughts looping
Collected to escape tragic loathing
New ones easier to depart from m
More lessons gained  from a loss
Wins and victories lived for a short time
Onto the next causing more struggle
Not sure what to do next clear the mind
Wandering such a process to de-stress

Made out to be the bad guy
Doing more than the minimum
Changing it up not just showing up
Leaving it out there put it on the line
Doing the work that need to be done
Everyone easily offended making demands
Running their mouth fully flawed
Can't say anything making it personal
Twisting the narrative with hate
Judging others flaws to get an edge
Instead of bettering themselves

I try doing the bro code you step back because your friend likes this girl. What ***** is she likes you but you fight temptation. Respect your friend even when they make you out to be the bad guy.
If you get the girl you lose a friend sometimes the girl loses interest and your stuck with no one. Trying to do what's right and honorable even if you end up alone. You don't want anyone talking about you or thinking less of you. By staying out of it and not getting involved with the drama that has nothing to do with you.
The worst is a friend that thinks because it's yours they can take it or entitled to what's not there's. Those kind of people get let go because the drama isn't worth it anymore.
She you love her you'll fight if she's noble and honorable she's worth it. If you don't trust her or can't be yourself.
After a while you get tired of changing for someone that's always the same. You enable their toxic that grows and destroys you breaking your heart and kindness.

I love my family but some have me asking how the hell are we related? I'm not close to anyone but do love everyone. I get you hide your insults in humor. Why do you get **** hurt when the favor is returned. I'd say sorry but you won't forgive me. I don't mind being the black sheep because you praise the bad seeds. I've always showed respect but when you cuss me out I want nothing to do with you and don't care to associate. I get you are blameless so let me carry the burden.

He finally got hired years of filling the void. A life time of lies hated for being honest and honorable. Taking pride in his work while others get made. Claiming he "made them look bad" when they shouldn't complain step it up. Smiled during the dark times. Laughing through the good times
Watched it go down wasn't his business now they are trying to impose no longer interested in opinions no one asked.

He put grew it having a brew taking in the scene. Out of place not sure where he belonged or fit in. He has a crush on the bartender but didn't make his move he wanted to be financially stable so he could match efforts. By the time he secured the job she ended up with someone else.
They talked she gave him relationship advice since he was single. He felt a connection but did miss his chance and moment. His love life was slim pickings as he got older. The dating pool is like a shallow puddle of mud.
Everyday he thought about it so many missed chances and opportunities. People had luggage personal issues and kids from a previous commitments that weighed them down.
He wanted to start a new with them but stuck on the old a head strong mind set that refused to change.

Asked what hurts you
Family was the response
Siblings that never get alone
Bad communication assuming the worse
Everyone thinks they are right
Only when they need something
If you can't help forever holding a grudge
Cussing you out expecting respect
Thinking bad behavior will be rewarded
Not able to open up using it against you
Manipulate others slander your character
One sided arguments better to walk away
Called delusional for being an individual
Sensitive for having an opinion
Speaking and standing up for myself
Things never change remaining the same
It's easier to keep a distant then get involved

Digging down deep to find closure
A text from an old friend
A smile in the past in the future
Calls from yesterday for better days
Dreams of a past lover never forgotten
Taking risks due to bad communication
Watching movies to pass time
Writing to compose the boredom
Sleeping to recharge heal the body
Music to rest continue to heal

He walked away starting to feel better. Now a lonely person, after all the cuts starting to heal. Moved on with no regret gaining back self respect. Clearing his mind of doubt, stayed away from the chaos back on track.
The dream that plays in the back of the mind. Staying sober cut off old intoxicated chums.
He had no common interest other than being alcohol fueled. Relationships over friendships couldn't get any of them right

He got this off his chest its hard to speak up because he didn't want to get canceled but realized this was another way to say censored. He was tired of compromising himself for people that opposed him. He did his own thing never included or used people but did speak up against everything. He was mad that life was a check list be this way, or do that. People found more reasons to hate you than like you. This toxic society tries to tell you how to act and behave, if you don't listen you're complicated. His whole life he didn't feel accepted, or welcomed always proving himself.
They are threatened by you they spread lies and rumors to think they have you in check. He didn't empower them not giving them say in his life. He never talked about anyone that didn't think highly of him. He didn't bother waste his time with one sided mindset because they are set in their ways ready to attack not willing to listen.

Fired from the first job what made it worse was he let his cousin down.
Getting beat up at work to lose the second job by an older lazy coworker
Ever job and life lesson learned changing not meant to be the same
Tired of holding onto bad it never gets good or better
Just positive thought and optimistic thinking is close as it gets
Moving forward years being stuck stuck in the rut

He remembered living out of his bag on the road and on the go. Never had a place to call him. He left home at a young age hated being home and babysitting taking on others responsibility. He was told by his mother get a life so he set out into the world to be someone make something of his life
He came up short did all the things he hated. He cleaned up his act after hitting rock bottom picking up where he left off starting again. Praying he'd make it, do it right this time around.
Times have changed but so did he. Growing not stuck in those traumatic years. Rising up being told no made him want it more. Doing it while they said it couldn't be done. Meant to be somebody years of being treated like a nobody.

Always thankful and grateful for everything. Over the same routine stressing to get it done over all the extra. Trying to stay sane become immune to the physical pain. Sleep deprived striving though the long days and slow weeks. Music making things move along.
An outcast rebel going strong doing what they said couldn't be done. Taking pride on the work from the bottom to the top. Saw himself there to be denied. Now he's there again wondering how long this will last.

Forgive give the heart peace
Move away grow on your own
They made their decisions
While you still have choices
All the voices go silent
Able to breathe feeling free
Rise above the bad
Better than being mad
Cuts are deep mentally
Sharp with a clear mind
Spiritually free emotionally
Good vibes from the heart
Space and time to heal physically
The change for better begins to show

Breaking away from the haters
Cut the cord and no regrets
Doing your own thing an individual
Love family feeling drained
Walking eggs shells getting attacked
Ready to make noise silent the crowd
Pushed out ready to move up and out
Onto new stuff doing it for you
No longer on the back burner
Missed opportunities circle back
Holding back its all coming out
Years of being ignored skipped over
Being at the bottom starting to move
Wasn't able to before walls are falling
Seeing new over the same rules

Anything you do ****** them off why not be happy in the process. Grew up with nothing working for more some had more it's never enough. Fighting to be heard to move up some get a pass to the front. They don't do anything with the opportunity. Stepped up wasn't ready or prepared trying hard than most. Not wanted or accepted is the worse feeling while trying to excel.
Told you don't belong because of what you look like because your skin tone or height weight why focus on physical instead of getting the person who does the job gets it done right. Years of being anti establishment as they try to make you into their product trying to be self made.
Open to learn and grow but not letting other take credit for your success. Trying to rise up for years not a poster child or a rep for something that doesn't think you are worth investing in.
Making personal investments growing past all those limitations all those people that didn't think you have it or what it takes out working everyone.

He started to draw he always wanted to make a comic but shading was complicated. He could see it in his head not able to put it on the page. While writing he could explain it talking about it made the feelings come into existence sometimes it mattered other times it was passing.
He stayed single because his difficult relationships made him be and act like someone else he said never again. All he wanted was to be loved and accepted while being torn apart for tough love. He made it easy for his partner while she made it hard for him to be comfy in his own skin. He was never materialistic he believe it was about how you treated people even if they wronged him and did him *****.
People would come and go like the seasons he didn't fight for them since they wanted out who was he to come between their happiness. His chapter was over thankful for the memories and good times during those dark periods.

Would rather be at work than home
Always doing something productive
Writing my stories people encountered
Personal experience over the top
Not one to associate with theives
Not feeding into drug habits
Avoiding alcoholics for sobriety
Help my group or you got to go

Taking life to serious lighten up. Lots of ups and downs. Saving up wanting to get out enjoy life. Break the cycle of the everyday routine. Seeing others for their true colors cutting ties and keeping a distance. Would never do that to them and why do they think it's okay.

Haven't been journaling taking so much in. Writing is how to let it out reflect something's are beyond your control. Being a team player caring the load is exhausting. Doing your part isn't enough. All the extra is what becomes a factor. Sometimes they'll love you other times they'll push you out discredit your hard work and efforts making them feel worthless.
Learning to be a leader and communicating is hard.
Usually one to plow through do it alone. Trying to connect is hard especially after years of being detached from everyone. Giving everything not expecting anything in return.
Working till the job is done not leaving it for the next person. Thankful ppl are grateful instead of feeling starting over from zero doing it all over again. In bed not able to sleep not comparing or worried about others. Life feels alright but why does it feel like something is missing. Trying have a social life or relationship. It's complicated with trust issues formal friends that slandered ones name a character. Dating the wrong female who'd cheat then blame everyone to justify her actions of wrong doing.

He made fun of himself and the setbacks. Being called a college drop out his mind racing. They talk about him he battled addiction. Hated sitting in AA it set him straight. The break up broke his confidence he had a few breakdowns making the most of things. He wanted it but kept working against everything that opposed him. His rebellion worked more than being a rule follower.

He never denied his roots but did question someone of them. He felt they went against him he didn't expect anyone to give up on their beliefs but knew it would cause a conflict of interest. He wasn't happy making other people happy. When he was happy they wouldn't be happy for him. Having to pick family or his lover, why can't they coexist. He was in love but the family so judgemental. Never there when he needed them, why should they have a say.  Why did he care so much. He had to unlearn and learn somethings so he can try to keep his world from falling apart

He wrote about what bigger him and how ir made him feel. He worked hard and came up short. He had to come up with a better plan back to the drawing board.
He wasn't afraid to try most of all he hated feeling like it was a waste of time. He gave them his all in the end it wasn't good enough. He would ask what he did wrong or how could he improve always open to learn and grow.
He changed for himself so many wanted him to be someone he's not or be the old him. He had grown there was no going back. He hated feeling stuck just trying to level up get to the next level.

The hot summer weather was cooling
Hot nights becoming cold and fresh
Escaping the overwhelming heat
Writing enjoying a fresh cup of coffee
Clearing the mind of overthinking
Music plays in the background
Preparing and getting ready for the day

The deciet creates doubt
Questioning the judgement
On who to trust character mistaken
Not able to read the person
Thought one way acted another
Writing down these feelings
Hard to understand express
Not sure what to do with them
A clear mind Not be distracted
Blinded by detail noticing things
Trying not to obsess over the flaw
Focused on what was right

Listening to hits the music lost in the vibe
Feeling the bass empowered by the lyrics
Taking you away from the complicated reality
Makes more sense than others drama
Causing a smile remember a better time
Certain people come to mind another time
Watching people change the music is forever vibing alive surviving

They gave him **** because their life ******. Making everything personal because they can win an argument. He didn't care to get personal.
The problem grew as he thought about it. It faded away as he opened up so many came at him wrong he had thick skin as they tried to get under it. He didn't worry because he knew it would come back to them.
He got a text it was insulting the person didn't have the courage to say it to his face. Freedom of speech be ready for the consequences.

He loved his family someone was always bad mouthing someone else. He told them to their face then got the cold shoulder. While they talked about him behind his back as they were fake to his face. He was forgiving as they held a grudge. He minded his mouth for his grandparents. He got most of the heat even when it had nothing to do with him.

Obsessed with work it broke this heart
Showing up do the job and going home
Getting a life outside of this old building
Reaching out to old friends  
Should meet new people to befriend
Most have kids or married
Hated being the third wheel
Doing my own thing always mattered
Being my own person on the go
No one speaks on my behalf
I don't belong to anyone rolling solo
Sometimes it feels right filled with doubt
Once it goes wrong ready to escape
It all fades away miss what was
Not caring about what it has become
A failed mess Obsessed with the best
Stuck settling for the worse getting less