We maybe blood but we are not family
You steal from family and blame everyone
Own up for your wrong doing
Running your mouth, your actions don't match up
With someone you don't love, you ***** gold digger
You claim to hate me, why do you keep saying my name
I avoid you to keep the peace minding my mouth
Once I speak the truth, your mouth shuts
You are weak pretending to be tough
Made my point now you can take your knife from my back
I apologized not forgiven, treated you right
Treat me worse than the rest like I owe you something
You owe it to yourself get out their and earn it
Stop piggy backing, riding someone else's glory
I hate that we fight but you have bad social skills
I'm trying to understand, but you make it personal, attack with curse words
You cry play the victim,  when you keep provoking
You demand respect with your disrespectful mouth
Turns out your are chaos pretending to be innocent
So many empower your stubborn ways
Once someone challenges your way
You become passive with aggression, attack in a group
You can't do it alone, not saying much when you are alone
Being the outcast, found comfort in being alone
Not like you; no way, shape or form
Don't think we are a like I've done way more
I owned up to my mistakes and learned from failing
Your entitlement, disrespect will get you, no where.

The cold wind refreshing moisture from the wet snow. That covered the scenery setting the eerie tone. Most got chills inside goose bumps from the spooky abandoned home.
Silence so intense it was nerve wrecking cold air insulated in the house. Dark rooms with vintage furniture that had been left in the house. No one knew the history or backstory of the house.

The worse feeling is when someone hurts you
Then turn around and do the same thing to someone else
She loved you but you didn't love her back
The love given was rejected ***** to be denied
Being honest and truthful is a sign of respect
Those lies being cheated doesn't justify those actions
No respect or trust leads to nothing
From lovers to strangers not able to be friends
Moving on is the best way to get along
Never going to give another chance to be hurt
Not going back to something that failed
Another chance but already know the outcome

The anger to destroy others you implode it within destroying yourself
You hold yourself accountable
Living with the guilt tried to make it right
Everything went wrong ***** bad wins
Doing the work and spoke up
All you want is to be happy
Everyone wants you as company for their misery

When you do what your suppose to do
Looking around worried hoping
Praying everyone is doing alright
Someone is always mad instead of thankful
Complaining instead of focusing on the blessings
Comparing life to another's just keep living
Everyone is struggling or going through something
You're not alone everyone is important
What you do to better the situation matters
Somethings you have no say or control over
Take on what you could handle one day at a time
Either you live in the moment or miss things
Trying to live up to others expectations
Everyone has a plan it might not happen right away
It might happen not accordingly keep doing the work
Keep growing and learning build a foundation
Appreciate supportive people let go of the toxic ones
Share memories and moments don't let anyone dull your shine

They try to shut you down. You do it yourself. You're tired of them draining your good vibes so you give them nothing. Save your good vibes for people that appreciate your positive vibes.
Before you'd give them a reason to talk now you give them nothing.
Take your power back because they feed of drama. You mind your mouth and business take shots but you don't scoop down to their level. Head up faith strong stay true to yourself. Forgive forget move on to give yourself inner peace

His love for her was strong but he had his doubts. Usually Minding his mouth because she was sensitive. She would pick fights and argue, he was alert since he didn't say or do much. She'd accuse him of cheating but he was always around.
When he went out it was rare; she would blow up his phone. Assuming the worse, shes the one, who made up all these rules that didn't apply to her. He trusted her and when she went out she would blow up his phone.
Asking why he didn't call her. He told her you wanted to go out have fun while he composed himself.
The relationship was difficult feeling like he couldn't do anything right. Time away was appreciated even though he had no clue, how to fix this failing relationship.
Struggling being told "I love you" after being emasculated and felt like his feelings didn't matter.
He knew it was time for a change. It was a power struggle to end things she wouldn't let it be over.
Eventually he'd shut down and she had to be the one to end it to feel superior. Being set free not sure who he was and what he wanted after being in a toxic relationship he had to reinvent himself.
Staying sober getting himself and his crap together because his friends bailed on him since it was hard to balance friendships and a relationship. Put in the middle of an awkward situation. Wishing everyone could get along and coexist with out being forced to choose a side.

In the chop getting a haircut can be therapy. Cutting away the old a fresh new look
And the new could grow in change over time
From your old shop to other locations
Not the same hard to trust with your hair
Paying the tip the barber accordingly
Thankful for their skills willing to go back
Reference new customers to help business
Hoping to be a regular for generations
Making a fuss about doing it invested in them
Broken trust never going back there again

Know for bad habits hard to shake them
Can't live that way anymore
Something had to give and change
Alcohol in a fit of rage trying to figure it out
The oldest in the room some look older
Depending on the crowd and setting
Social interaction wild more selective
The youngest with the elder crowd
Trying to be an adult still seen as a child
Friend having another kid such a blessing
So many life lessons learned getting burned
Taking a beating mentally and physically
Walked away didn't waste energy
Being mistreated not seen as an equal

Don't like to argue with anyone already an internal struggle with trying to do what's right. Easier to write it down than speak it words wont come out losing the train of thought searching for the words. Mouth goes mute have to force it up project loud or wont be heard so many words.
Trying to get along not force things to work out especially if they aren't meant to be. Open mind and heart hardwired different from the rest.

Waking up with only 4 hours of sleep on the 3rd cup of coffee. Writing to clear the mind stay sharp. An open mind and open heart. Not able to write sometimes is worry some. Sometimes you think about people and how they treat me you. They'll make you out to be the bad guy playing the victim. Learning their word means nothing.

The weather has changed from hot ton cool summer year round where is the winter weather
Too hot to wear a sweater that's meant for the cold
Hot chocolate sounds good but put on hold waiting for the cold
This never ending tan the sun is too much need some rain to hide the tears in the coldness
Wash away fears down the drain
cold makes me think clear focus grow strong
Cold weather is better just lighten up

The romance was over they couldn't stand one another. Couldn't be in the same room from smiles to looks of disgust for one another. Both full of anger betrayal among them that kept them from getting along. Things got rushed both had expectations that let one another down. Not able to redeem the love, and the respect was gone. Trust was broken forever trust friendship was totaled. The relationship was tarnished beyond repair.

He got in his 4 runner went for a long drive playing loud music. Work lost value no longer emotionally connected. Took one for the team this demotion was a knife to the heart. Pondering life and changes that needed to be made. Surviving a transplant trying to go forward Another detour went backward instead of forward. Not being heard to many false narratives others believe. He stopped arguing to prove himself.
Focused on his passions outside of this crumbling building. Rushing away from the the bad focused on the good. Try to be in the moment not ahead at the future or looking back at the past.

Dealing with my elders I
I respect their way of life
But don't **** on my way
I appreciate you looking out
I'm trying to be my own man
My own person I learned who not to be
Wish I had more positive influences
Doing something no one tried
While everyone sticks to the routine
Breaking old habits being better
Trying to not be consumed
By failed family traditions
Haters talk bad always up to no good
Trying to maintain not back in the hood
Over coming physical pain
Heal from the emotional trauma
Expressing concerns seen as issues
Trying to get answers from the wrong ppl
Trying to grow mentally develop personality
Same Haters try to cut down the process
Too much or not enough grew up to be tough

Why can't we get along? Someone is always mad or offended. Jokes turn to insults not able to communicate with one another. Families divided not trying to argue or fight to be heard. Excluded trying to fit in but once you do your own thing all of a sudden considered. they decide you are liked because you found a way without them.
Not seeking approval anymore being your own person. Feeling against the world onto of internal struggle

Getting sober is a must
It's a lonely journey
No going back
Some respect your decisions
Others hate on your decisions
They thought you'd never change
Only a matter of time till you get ahead
No one can take you down
Only you can feeling sorry for yourself
Let those negative block your path
Toxic people destroy your perception
Don't let them sabotage your dreams
Keep working behind the scenes
That moment will come to rise above
Where you'll surpass those low experts
Others try to project on you for being lazy
No longer the scapegoat obsorb the blame
Never more the whipping boy
Slipped out and free from the crazy
Use to take it on its a lost cause

The cold grey sky made this morning
A refreshing breeze full of moisture
Eerie weather feels right all the time
Lost in the world found in writing
Dealing with others has it's moments
Loving regardless of what's happening
Expressed emotions triggering others
Wasn't attacking observing a situation
Jokes taken serious made personal
Hostile personalities causing conflict
Not into confrontation working harder
Not backing down standing strong
Focused on what matters

Life after the transplant
My story was used against me
Working hard to move up
Got stopped and setback
Another detour to another destination
Working hard to be independent
Impatient and hate waiting on other
Hard to trust most of all rely on people
A scar healing up from the betrayal
Dealing with a false friend pretending to care
Getting stronger everyday focused on growth
Taking charge staying out of drama
Over useless leads taking the credit

Chasing the future everything's changed
Friends come and go like the seasons
Staying single over failed relationships
Doing the work makes things better
Trying to make it easier by maintaining
People throw you under not worried
It will come back to them eventually
It ***** when you can't find the words
When you change others try to bring the worst
All you can do is your best even
If it's not enough trying more than most
Making you feel not good enough
The torment fade when you break away
They have nothing on you they are stuck

Changing that mindset has helped
Not holding a grudge but letting go
Walk away from the drama
Friends dated away over the years
Cut off toxic families bad behavior
Need feeding into the negativity
Head up when facing diversity
It's easy to put head down plow through
Stand tall with your moral compass
Would rather do what's right than wrong
Left alone doing the right thing
That means so much and everything
A heart of gold growing into more
Walked away from the pain
Traumatic memories lose a pulse
Writing deep thoughts enriched closure
The fear dries like blood scabs over
Healing process within begins

Sadden that a childhood friendship ended over a girl. One had a casual encounter while the other was in a relationship. This girl came between them. One developed a habit while the other was lost in transition. The struggle within not easy to adapt. Hard to adjust when things are constantly changing. A friend who was a life time friend became a complete stranger. Trying to find balance through all the transition.

You get it out tell the truth. Everyone tried to shut you down, keep you grounded. All you want to do is take off get to the next level. Listening to the negativity made the world numb. Blocking everything out a clear mind.
Learning to cope deal with these emotions and feelings. Being a child a cry baby told stop being a ***** not able to express yourself because parents dk how to deal with you. Told to tough it out plow through. Put your head down get through to the end.
You miss out because you are distracted by getting it done. Trying to make it happen, be the one. who did it because they said it couldn't be done. They didn't believe in you so it make you want it more. Writing is a voice, doing the work getting closer coming up short. It's like a puzzle trying to complete it from all angles and with the right piece getting closer to completing the whole picture.

It ***** when you're trying to change and you feel provoked. Giving your best while they bring out the worse in you. Just pray and walk away.

Feeling alright every day is a fight
Things get easier the more I write
Too old to be arguing, got things to do
Don't need to talk focused on work
Not dealing with one-sided mindsets
Trying to be me hard for others to see
Let me be back to the basics
Stopped worrying things got easier
Working for insurance, staying strong
Thoughts flowing need to grind
Don't care to explain myself
Would rather write feeling like me
Makes it easier to sleep at night
Facing fears feeling overwhelmed
Breaking down all the hype created

See the world in the light
Another great writing session
Facing fears thoughts of confrontation
Overcome troublesome thoughts
Learning to love yourself again
Years of resentment from a broken heart
Rising up from the past that crashed
Healing over time memories fade
Staying in the present not going back
Time is moving fast healing this heart
Healing with a new mindset no regrets

Waking up random hours of the night
Haven't been able to write
Always behind the scenes
Feeling trapped meant to escape
Around so much hate not feeding into it
They try to flip it lome Jedi mind tricks
Someone in their mood ruining the day
Overcome by focused on work
Trying to break this writers block
Asking what you want this project to be
How do you prepare for the outcome

Writing when you are not angry
A new look on life after major surgery
Just recently got a liver transplant
The worse feeling is when people see you as a liability
Your health makes you question your life
Feeling limited holding back
Changes needed to be made
Having to diet the fear of dying
Clothes falling off due to rapid weight loss
Work intense physical pain magnified
Fear of letting the team down
Taking charge as a lead to one of the guys
Hated missing work hospitalized didn't help
A year of blood work and tests procedures to get on the list
Followed 6 months waiting with 3 no go calls
The 4th call meant race from CA to AZ for the transplant.
Not sure it would happen not losing faith
Getting told "are you ready?" by the doctor. The moment was here. Made it to AZ in 5 hours. Prepped for the surgery.
A prayer before the surgery made it reassuring. Getting cleaned with surgical soap and ivs put in the arteries and veins. Being drugged feeling loopy the last thing. I remember was climbing onto the surgical table then waking up in ICU

Betty was fed up with her cousin she did love her jut she was over, how she was two faced. Nice to others face but talking about them behind their back. Her cousin would use people for her personal gain if she didn't get her way, she would make a scene talk loud.
Betty loved her family but didn't feel loved, or disconnected. She didn't always agree with their behaviors and actions. Told to be quiet, it's hard to be silent when they are doing wrong. Told not to go against the family but the family always had problems with her and anything she did
The day Betty went to college learned to be on her own. She seen the world over all the old ways of life. Too many made up rules that made her feel limited and held back. Family didn't look out for her unless they got some kind of benefits out of what she did.

If I said sorry would you forgive me
I admitted I was wrong why can't things be right.
Use to be a close friend now you see me as a worthless stranger
Just because we are blood doesn't make us equals
You think your better than me oppose our differences
The love became betrayal loathing one another
Use to talk now we are on nonspeaking terms
One sees it as a game the other refusing to play
One giving love the other turning everything into hatred
Talking loud doesn't make it right
Talking about the person instead of to them doesn't fix things
Everyone thinks they are right both wrong full of pride

He closed off but did nothing wrong. Not taking the blame for others. He was able to admit he was wrong. Willing to make the wrong right.
Try to be the solution to problems that had nothing to do with him. He stayed out of it music in his ears blocking out the toxic vibes focused on his work.
His mouth got him in trouble he struggled with minding it because he respected his place and role while others got out of line.

Made out to be the bad guy
Doing more than the minimum
Changing it up not just showing up
Leaving it out there put it on the line
Doing the work that need to be done
Everyone easily offended making demands
Running their mouth fully flawed
Can't say anything making it personal
Twisting the narrative with hate
Judging others flaws to get an edge
Instead of bettering themselves