Not getting along starting arguments
No one willing to compromise
Trusting not feeling the vibe
Actions say otherwise no love
Demeanor changed cold shoulder
Hard to comprehend shady behavior
Always honest getting lies in return
The guilty conscience projecting
There's someone else on the side
Red flags denying the truth
Feelings fading away left with lust
Mistakes made thinking there's love
Hurting one another can't force it
From natural to delusional infatuation

Use to have tons of friends now sitting alone. Dated many women still single. Hardest work in the room still not full time. Had an opinion got seen as the enemy. Shared feelings seen as weak. Showing emotions to have them be ignored. These are the worse feelings dealing with being alone makes sense but feeling denied seen as a reject. Those labelers are wrong dk the truth with their made up stories to feel superior.

Doing the work but not sure what to do with it. That's the frustration with being a fighter you can be ready for the fight and it doesn't happen. It gets worse when your not ready for the fight opportunity presents it's self you take a chance and risk. I love to write but editing is stress do my words gain or lose value the most important question is does this make sense.
Explaining: why you do things is hard when you just do it. What's your reason? What's your purpose? The question, what drives helps. I can answer, I wanted to do it or they said it couldn't be done. I did it for myself to prove them wrong or things needed to be done.
I'd rather do the work than try to come up with an excuse. It's easy to tell the the truth lying doesn't get you anywhere.

Use to talk to other writer all they do is make you feel good or make you feel like you can't write. Asking you to critique their work help them get better, it's their life their story. Who am I to correct their work not fond of critics. You've done the work put in the time, how are they are talking. Tell you it's like something else, or try to take away from the efforts made. Another day another up late writing they can't take that away. Pushing out all this anger by fake phonies. Will not be consumed by their hatred that infected them.

He was neutral being placed on a side taking a stand. Realizing it was none of his business all the drama and chaos had nothing to do with him. Everyone silent because no one can talk about it or hold a grudge like if the neglect of others will give you an upper hand. Demanding respect from people you I do nothing for doesn't make you a better person.
Talking about people not knowing their struggle or what they've been through doesn't give you the right to judge.
Sad to see everyone divided instead of united. Taking the blame to end it isn't enough. Saying sorry and not being forgiven what's the point. He'd rather be at work than with family so much guilt and burdens.

So I went to get a haircut the guy said he was booked till the end of time turns out the shop was closing not a regular but it ***** to see a business go under. I support momma and poppa shops. Glad to keep things small because once it gets too big things become diluted too many have their own ideas and make it grow or fail. Idk too much about business but make sure the consumer is happy with the service and product. Now a days too many don't respect the origins sabotaging the business instead of appreciating the opportunity.
I'm thankful for platform but over all the clickbait content. People should get off the computer enjoy life appreciate life instead of complaining or trying to cancel others. I'd like to see others succeed that's moving. Not take false pride in seeing others fail.

You think about telling them but think of the man in the mirror staying humble. You lived your life let them live theirs. Wishing things went differently but everything happened for a reason tough changing of seasons.
Trying to help did more for them now they are talking bad about you. Acting like you dk some of their ***** secrets. Not even phased never thought it would happen wrong to think it would be different. Not the exception just another name on your list of people you ***** over.  Now tell the story differently making everyone look bad never saying what you did or have done.
People only hear one side of the story instead of the whole. Live learn and grow be better than those who put you down or talk bad about you. From an open book to closed off. Seen as mean bitter and cruel because not taking lip from someone who takes never helping anyone but themselves.

Why do people cheat? Some are married and kids. While others don't have that and want that. It's hard work to get a home some don't want that responsibility or never shown how to get there.
Some have it all and quick to look down on those who are working for it. Talk bad about others but have everything going on for them. It never made any sense. Like if their judgement will make the world better or forgive them for their wrong doings.
So many hidden agendas only in it for their personal gain. Never helping anyone just bashing people for not living up to their ideal standard they are not happy with

They made him feel bad for working out. All they did was criticize him but they did nothing. He once valued them but had to put his guard up. He did all the giving all they did was expect. Only when they needed something he became a thought.
After being ignored and treated different he stayed in his lane they smothered him with their nonsense controlling ways. He gained more confidence called the BS in the end they'd ignore him or make him out to have a problem.
Never once did they think their attitude or behavior was a factor. He was admit his wrongs he hated how he had to walk egg shells to be considered. He did favors now they are talking and bad mouthing.

It use to be fun now it's not the same
Drinking with family everyone complains
At the bar wanting to be home
Better at home not driving
Instead of overpriced drinks
Use to be fun not anymore
Alcohol doesn't heal the pain
Not able to drown out bad memories
Dealing with problems everyday
Some can be resolved others pending
Walking away from phonies
Once valued them tried coming at you
Now keeping a distance broken trust
After all the lies you stop caring
Endangering others drinking while driving
Care more about drugs than your only child
Hard to watch so much is felt
Asking what's with you
Or why are you doing this?
Get why no one bothers and called a last cause

I didn't want to believe what I heard
All the stories hoped they weren't true
Let you in the betrayal was deep
Should've listened to the warning signs
Thought things wouldn't end
Seen it differently being foolish
Already told the outcome going in
Results given by previously used fools
Slammed into the wall of failure
Being optimistic left feeling naive
Treated just like everyone else
Never the same above the pain
So many games not playing anymore

Called a bias for not being around it
Trying to understand or be cancelled
Told the truth being fed lies
Trying something new being called crazy
Being told stay in the routine
Breaking away from the old way of living
Trying to rise up never settling
Taking on new social standards
Not playing the race card others abuse it
Some use their body while others work
Some have money others work for it

Writing without cussing is hard not talking about a girl but flirting with the situation playing with hypothetical scenarios all these possibilities that never happen. Asking how could this be avoided or what could've been done differently. Multiple factors but one true outcome that works itself out.
Trying to find inspiration use what's given making the most of everything. Not holding on to everything but letting go a clear mind to ease a pacing mind thinks too much. The heart on an emotional rollercoaster no sure how to feel or react to Everyone everything that's a change from the everyday routine

He woke up ready to get it done. Bust his *** in a timely consistent manner. Getting older making moves on the down low. Tired of the bottom working towards the top. Years of staying down, after hitting rock bottom.
Insulted for being judged without being known. Overlooked being skimmed over the hardest worker in the room. Not one to **** up seen as a threat. Standing out being noticed to not used properly. Spoke up got mistreated said nothing being a solution solving problems.

Not always the good guy
Only one side of the story is being told
Never said anything bad
While others project false beliefs
Spoke up against imposed ideals
Excluded for having an opinion
Allowed to disagree have differences
Not a yes man speaking on one's self
Friends fade grow a part over time
Due to conflict of interest
Family should love you more
Since  they can't compromise
Trying to slander your name
Make relatives think less of you
One voice means nothing alone
Use the masses to gain power
The power trip causes the downfall
Comfortable being disrespectful
Eventually, toxic takes down the mass
The truth remains overpowering lies
While the manipulator is exposed

He laid down staring at the wall praying for answers hoping to provide solutions tired of all the problems. He thinks what's next how can he use his writing to be able to move onto the next level.
He always wanted to do his best give his all when hes not sure. How it would all go down.

He got this off his chest its hard to speak up because he didn't want to get canceled but realized this was another way to say censored. He was tired of compromising himself for people that opposed him. He did his own thing never included or used people but did speak up against everything. He was mad that life was a check list be this way, or do that. People found more reasons to hate you than like you. This toxic society tries to tell you how to act and behave, if you don't listen you're complicated. His whole life he didn't feel accepted, or welcomed always proving himself.
They are threatened by you they spread lies and rumors to think they have you in check. He didn't empower them not giving them say in his life. He never talked about anyone that didn't think highly of him. He didn't bother waste his time with one sided mindset because they are set in their ways ready to attack not willing to listen.

He saw her in his future clouded judgement
She had other plans went on without him
Everything he wanted with her
She did it with someone else
Sitting in the dark composing himself
Tomorrow will be a better day
Missing his family not taking on egos
Learned who not to be conflicted attitudes
Instead of being inspired to do better

You put yourself out there getting to know a person. Turns out they're not who you thought or what you made them out to be. You believed they were better but only getting their worse.
Trying to be vulnerable in the seas of broken trust. Swim in the water of love that's contaminated with lust. The mask of lies is removed to expose a hidden reality.
Seeing the beauty glow but once inside its toxic infecting others by draining them of their individualism. Trying to control others worlds by destroying them instead of making theirs better.

People let him down all the time he never said anything and did it on his own. While others expect and don't try then have the nerve to complain. He began to cut away toxic people because they were only nice to him when they needed a favor. If he wasn't doing favors they didn't care of give a **** about him.
He was tired of people snaking around pretending to like him while they did shady stuff acting like they did right by his side. They did him ***** while he watched them run his act on new prey.
He didn't want to associate with weasel faced snakes. That would violate his personal space to cover their own spineless backs. Trying to take credit from others with so called brilliant ideas that would be placed to sponge off others claiming it to be a team effort.

The deciet creates doubt
Questioning the judgement
On who to trust character mistaken
Not able to read the person
Thought one way acted another
Writing down these feelings
Hard to understand express
Not sure what to do with them
A clear mind Not be distracted
Blinded by detail noticing things
Trying not to obsess over the flaw
Focused on what was right

He went to the batting cages with his sister. It was a process figuring out the timing and when to swing. It took a while but he was able to adjust and adapt to the situation.
It took him back to when he use to coach softball. It was fun it was all new and loved coaching it helped with his people skills and understand the game. He enjoyed the sport. He treated it like a job since he wasn't working at the time.
He use play sports in high school not the biggest guy on the football team but all heart with the best foot work.
He loved coaching willing to work with everyone because when he trained boxing he was excluded told he was to old and didn't get trained well. He observed and listened to everything that was going on around him.
When he held pads for his cousin he was honored he trusted and believed in him. His cousin taught him what he learned.

Writing when you are not angry
A new look on life after major surgery
Just recently got a liver transplant
The worse feeling is when people see you as a liability
Your health makes you question your life
Feeling limited holding back
Changes needed to be made
Having to diet the fear of dying
Clothes falling off due to rapid weight loss
Work intense physical pain magnified
Fear of letting the team down
Taking charge as a lead to one of the guys
Hated missing work hospitalized didn't help
A year of blood work and tests procedures to get on the list
Followed 6 months waiting with 3 no go calls
The 4th call meant race from CA to AZ for the transplant.
Not sure it would happen not losing faith
Getting told "are you ready?" by the doctor. The moment was here. Made it to AZ in 5 hours. Prepped for the surgery.
A prayer before the surgery made it reassuring. Getting cleaned with surgical soap and ivs put in the arteries and veins. Being drugged feeling loopy the last thing. I remember was climbing onto the surgical table then waking up in ICU

He entered the building ignoring his bitter employees focused on doing the work. A lead that pretends to care but all about himself. Every lie hurt his ears he got tired of listening doing his part and going home. That was his new mindset work with his given time then went home.
He was the overachiever in an underachiever. He took pride in his work while most settle gave up with no ambition. Everyone talking about each other but he wanted no part of that nonsense and craziness.
The betrayal was real not going back if the opportunity was real. He set boundaries and everyone looked at him like he was crazy.  
His health came up when he was sick he'd cover now they are saying he can't do his job now that he is better. It's the two faced people with their condescending tone that was extremely is exhausting.

He knew he'd be excluded for not agreeing seen different for having an opinion. Usually a push over and taken lightly this time he stood his ground.
Why should he give up who he is to be liked to be accepted when everyone else made no changes or a difference to help others. He was tired of all the expectation of others.
They didn't care what he thought or how he felt. Like anything they said or did was more important. He cleared his mind showing no feelings or emotions wore a bold face as they bad mouth him to anyone who would listen. They looked down on him because he didn't give up on himself since he didn't do anything wrong.

Changed over the years
Some stuck in the past
College life was a daze
Adult life always working
Working hard for insurance
Facing new obstacles that out
Leading to new opportunities
Eating certain foods cirrhosis *****
Life has changed liver disease
Praying for the better
A healthy love life for once
Not being around toxic people
Learning bass growing the skill
Can't remain the same

Talking music with the youth. Hoping they like it and appreciate it like when you use to be a teenager. Hoping they find their own way. Music that connects to their heart and soul instead of feeling misunderstood.  
Trying to be there for them from a child to an adult forced to grow up. Not taking life too serious but taking the passion serious creating expressing one's self. Letting go of that dark energy release those bottled emotions.
Not holding on anymore determined reach down let it flow so one could grow. The changes shines everyone knows they can't take credit for you or act like they understand you after things get figured out.

Being told to travel enjoy being single. People with kids tell him taking their advice. Being wise open to learn and grow teaching him even though. He preferred to be behind the scenes than be up front taking on the bad that's dumped on his lap. When things are well he's ignored and forgotten.
Asking questions so he could know since he hated waiting on others and relying on others since he was the one who would take on that burden.

The cold wind refreshing moisture from the wet snow. That covered the scenery setting the eerie tone. Most got chills inside goose bumps from the spooky abandoned home.
Silence so intense it was nerve wrecking cold air insulated in the house. Dark rooms with vintage furniture that had been left in the house. No one knew the history or backstory of the house.

He wanted the answers but ended up with more questions. No solutions just more up in the air problems that would eventually end up in his lap taking on what he could handle. Praying and laying in bed with music playing singing helped his find closure and peace. He thought he could make a different looking in the mirror seeing an older man who was tired. Seeking meaning and purpose seeing his opportunity go to another person. He was denying the truth but happy for the person.

They try to shut you down. You do it yourself. You're tired of them draining your good vibes so you give them nothing. Save your good vibes for people that appreciate your positive vibes.
Before you'd give them a reason to talk now you give them nothing.
Take your power back because they feed of drama. You mind your mouth and business take shots but you don't scoop down to their level. Head up faith strong stay true to yourself. Forgive forget move on to give yourself inner peace

Looking in the mirror staying optimistic. Thinking of getting back into the social seen in his late 30s thinking it might be different. Since he wasn't the same as before. He knew better knowing his choices could make him fall back into bad habits.
He thought about dating but felt too old for the crowd. He missed his opportunity with people his age but was learning to network hopefully find more like minded people which was harder to do now a days.
He worked hard for his and no one seemed to match his energy. He gave more than most and others never put forth any in return. Not sure what he wanted since he was setting new goals. It took a while for him but he made it to somewhere better. He was only going forward not looking back.
He would remember things that made him hold back scared to be in the same boat. Making the same mistakes taking a deep breaths composing himself. Staying sharp and focused resetting his feelings and emotions to not fall back into those bad routines.

The obsession to go back and fix the past, things ended accordingly; the way they were suppose to. Most didn't end on your terms but fought for a lost cause. At the time everything served meaning and purpose. Haven't been wanting but have been looking. Things use to be new filled with excitement  now things are dull. Expect too much end up with disappointment but expect nothing things seem to have some interesting outcomes.

Not wishing bad on others or inflicting this frustration. Let it go in writing its toxic been holding on for too long. Use to be confident years of attacks and criticism feeling insecure. Not one to doubt others but do struggle trying to be more.
Being smart hiding it is the worse feeling. Lowering yourself to be like and accepted is the worse. Pretending to be dumb, and down playing the ego lots of doubt and regret.

Wearing a mask
Staying away from all
Alone writing feeling safe
More risks insanity in public

He was use to being hated because they'd rather knock/exclude since he wasn't a follower, or in check like everyone else. They'd never accept him because he had an option. He was tired of taking their crap in silence when he speaks up they make him out to be a villain for not being part of their scheme.
All terms and conditions got annoying if you asked them they would act like you're ruining their life or plotting against them. While they cant win alone so they gain numbers trying to turn everyone against you for not caring.
After showing interest and still kept out there was no reason to stay it wasn't worth it anymore. He moved on the more he stayed away the worse they got. If he made a mistake it would be held against him. If they made a error they'd expect you to turn a blind eye over all the double standards.

He was so use to the same old crap being ignored and kept out. Once he went into the world people found him interesting and talked to him. It was all new and different. Stuck in a routine only working and sleep the world seemed so young and fresh while he was was older feeling dull.
Missing his youth because the new generations filled in those empty slots. While his peers had kids got married or just working a mind numbing job that occupied their time.
Feeling hidden from the world trying to stay in control even though things are out of control for the most of the time. Broken from the past feeling healed like a whole in the present moment. The transition was very complicated always starting over with relationships or friendships learning to not get attached since people are usually just passing through.

Learning to prioritize things say what's needed to get it done. How to get there been seeing things as a leader taking charge how to grow and learn with a productive attitude. Dealt with bad leads that want to be the middle man that designate their work on others. Told myself to be active be part of the team. Not tell people what to do but empower them to make the right decisions with the choices provided.
So much to learn from this experience lead by example not make an example of others doing it as well. If I can't do it not going to make others do it. Willing to learn and quick to turn around teach the skills and technique to get it done.
Tired of people acting like no one can do their average joe job. Thinking they are too good but staying in the same place wasting everyone's time. Making gossip at work because people are moving up and advancing while they chose to settle. Everyone respects your decision have respect for those that want to move up.

Love for family always
Not giving up on myself
Death brings everyone together
Doing your own thing not mad
Someone is still holding a grudge
Making things personal over opinions
Everyone is impersonal with another
Can't pick when to be involved
All or nothing trying to be some body
Family quick to remind you the past
In the struggle seen as no body
Not mad just proving them wrong
A good head on your shoulders
Doing what's right focused on being better
When no one believes