He was a lover boy who never got emotionally attached
He'd give his all to these women but they were stuck on someone who treated them bad
He figured that's what they liked and did not fight because you cant force people to love it has to come natural
They loved him but left so he didn't mean much to them
He always wanted to open up but knew they were passing and he didn't expect them to stay
If they loved him it didn't show plus never acted like they did anyway
He was thankful for the time and moments but their minds were made up and he accepted their choices
When he moved on he never understood why they were mad or upset they let him go
He was not one to go back he'd be their friend but usually they were to ******* at him
He didn't care when he saw them with another guy because that was their choice
When he moved on and they seen him with another girl she was mad and never happy for him
He doesn't rush because he still wants to live before settling down he wants the one not just anyone

what I see and how I feel are not the same taking it in you admire it appreciate it
when you try to put it back out there
It's not the same once experience
I've processed it in my mind
what I felt and what I thought
lots of it being analyzed to be understood
years of being told you are no good
like a mood ring adjusting to others' bad vibes
it's easier to be alone by myself rather than tolerate bad behavior. being discriminated by our own kind doesn't hurt

Easy to move because of drama
After a while you stand your ground
You did the work put in the time
Do your part and go home
Can't please everyone
Not always going to be right
Make a fee mistakes lost in the work
Learning to express emotions other than write
Deal with those unsettling feelings
The path has cleared over time
Going through the untamed brush
People come and go with the season
Some have reasons like family and health
Promotions onto better careers
Retirement years of hard work to rest
Some are a key factor and hard to let go
While others its time please go
Some are not growing while others settle

Not always feeling this way analyzing compacted emotions late reactions. Not a **** up or brown noses working harder to shine from the bottom. Looking at the top can't stay down forever. A contender determined to be a champ, doing his best not settling for less.
Blinded sided side tracked working to get it all back. From down not out crazy enough to come back for more. All heart and reps drilling for killing the motions, emotions going strong on the go on the road never home.

If he died he had the girl he loved once
His first day was perfect in his heart
A moment that makes him smile
His first time making the moment count
Once that came to an end
Making it hard to love again
Everything lost hype no longer a rush
He became closed off empty inside
Dating with a hollow heart was wrong
The girl who loved him was obsessed
A failed relationship accused of cheating
She wasn't the one but persistent
Never left got use to one another
Threatened by her mother it was over
No one approved it wasn't meant to be
She cheated blamed him for her actions
She lied expected him to be honest
It was over never gonna happen again
Never had a first date ended up together
She tried to force the moment
It wasn't natural or real faking it through

In his room writing letting it all out not holding on making room for things that matter. Focused on writing a book making jokes not taking life too serious.
His quit on the people that taunted him and brought out the worse in him. They cursed his name and thought less of him since he wasn't a follower. He'd rather do his own thing than be told what to do by peers who don't value him or his efforts.

He looked in the mirror noticed the wrinkles and the white hairs that stood out more than the blacks. Feeling his muscle mass be less dense his body stiff losing flexibility a life of crazy from others he didn't care for.
Minding his mouth because everyone took everything personal.
He was done with everyone and everything that opposed him or tried to assassin his character due to a conflict of interest. It didn't bother him anymore, he knew who he was and didn't need anyone tell him otherwise

Being my own man growing up
Not like my parents an individual
Being my own man standing tall
Trying to survive the struggle
Grew up around addiction
Bad habits over family love
No way to raise a child
Trying not to repeat history
Fear of the unknown a mystery
Writing to keep a clear mind
Facing the truth embracing reality
In love with the truth inside out
In a world of lies dieing inside

Onto new seeing people from the past
Hoped they'd change remaining the same
Talking about everyone if its their right
Seeing through the act not falling for it
Staying away pick and choose liking you
Just because your big intimidate others
Doesn't mean you could beat everyone up
Cussing people out being a bully
Doesn't make you right or better
Being disrespectful because your mad
Doesn't get you respect people turn away
Saw you as an equal your power trip
Has you knocking stepping on people
Using people talking about others
Says more about you than the people you slander

It was his first day he was use to rejection
Surprised she agreed to an evening
Trying to get to know one another
More than puppy love it felt natural
Not one to force things let it be organic
Honesty is important once a lie is injected
Things being to fall apart hard to trust
No longer the same question everything
Being genuine remain loyal around toxicity
Dealing with betrayal infuriating within
The compromise is no longer worth sacrifice

He went to work and dealt with his useless lead that abused his power. Talking about respect but one of the most disrespectful jerks you ever met. The old school vs the new school trying to rise up but the older generation being a roadblock putting roadblocks and detours rigging things in their favor. He was tired of made up rules and social standards no one loved up to or followed.
People didn't like that he asked questions wondering why? Why is it like this why can't we just get along coexist with one another. They caused the conflict now mad blaming everyone but themselves for their misconduct. You can't treat people and no one deserves to be treated bad because they have a different opinion or knows more keeping them excluded.

Sometimes being in the zone you miss out what's going on around you. usually in work mode today when in thinking this is the same I can be doing more and be else where enjoying life.
Such a small world my coworker knows a few people from the high school I attended. Mentioning people from the past and what was. Times have changed don't recall names and barely remember faces people age and don't look the same. Not the same person I remember. How life can change a person.
How can they call you selfish when you always give saying no one time plus they forget all the other times you went out of your way to help them. How you treat people reflects you but no one sees how those people reflect on him. Doing more stuff that makes you laugh and smile matters. It gives you more satisfaction and gratification saying you did it and I did if myself for myself for once. One of the best feeling ever trying to fit in doesn't sound right it's better to stand out be your own being not follow the blind especially since you know better; choose to be righteous and do good things. They can do wrong cheat it will comeback to them in the end so don't worry about those who mistreat you or take you for granted.

He was old school this new way of life didn't make sense or sound right hard to trust others moral compass. He was blamed for her lies and deceit while he remained loyal to the wrong person.
Once he moved on; she came back place a mind bomb. He started over and date someone else, she got territorial. She didn't want him but didn't want anyone else to have him.

Getting sober is a must
It's a lonely journey
No going back
Some respect your decisions
Others hate on your decisions
They thought you'd never change
Only a matter of time till you get ahead
No one can take you down
Only you can feeling sorry for yourself
Let those negative block your path
Toxic people destroy your perception
Don't let them sabotage your dreams
Keep working behind the scenes
That moment will come to rise above
Where you'll surpass those low experts
Others try to project on you for being lazy
No longer the scapegoat obsorb the blame
Never more the whipping boy
Slipped out and free from the crazy
Use to take it on its a lost cause

Finally Friday made it through the week. Working hard to get it done earn what's mine. Been sick but pushing through. Critics trying to throw a monkey wrench in this machine. Things have been up and down but not shutting down. Deep in though not trying to change because someone is threatened.
Struggle is real not to fond of others telling me, what's best for my interest.

Fought for it now it's gone lost it all
Do who I am anymore, need to find myself
Being lost wandering when I thought I found it all
Fake friends that bad mouth me we don't talk anymore
Lusting girls who be cheating placing blame because they can't be trusted
Owned up to my rights and wrong keep on going strong
Lost the girls who doesn't love me or want me
Mad because I found someone new she dont want me but don't want anyone else to have me
You moved on and I'm holding back too bad we know the failed out come no more tries
Being with you being together means lieing to ourselves
New jobs old job stuck in this transition been writing for years helped me grow over come my fears

It's okay to not know but once you begin to understand the growth begins. Sometimes you take others into consideration. Letting go shredding hoarded thoughts kept in notebooks. Not that person anymore Trying to prepare be better tomorrow. Be better than yesterday better prepared for tomorrow. All the pain is gone coped. No longer playing with old feelings or stuck on those old emotions. Ready to experience new moments the old ones are like trophies that cause you to settle because it was done. Getting more technical and more coordinated.

Growing up avoiding eye contact getting mad dogged in the process. As I get older it's hard to make wye contact because I catch myself doing the same. Emotional eyes filled with personality.
Against so many odds trying to break the family curse. Be the one who made it. Never been about knocking others. Trying to bring them up with me. Sometimes I need to do this alone. ***** I'm a private person like if the world is out to get me. Always going to be me not be place in there's boxes. I aged out too old for all these made up rules that limit my motions.
Spoke up now everyone is mad. No one feels bad for you.

The day you sober up everything changes
Drinking buddies are not the friend you drank them out to be
Being sober they see you different because you lead the pack
Once you step down they think they could walk all over you
It was easy to open up after a few beers now the words won't come out
Learning people are sensitive and twist your words
being honest they call you mean the truth is harsh better than hyped up lies
Old friends leave and new ones come it but found comfort in my own solitude.
Sitting in AA was helpful but I'm not that bad
Learned to work on myself avoid the temptation
So many wild changes some came others stayed but was not for me
I focused on what I wanted, needed putting myself first was weird but made sense

Chasing the future everything's changed
Friends come and go like the seasons
Staying single over failed relationships
Doing the work makes things better
Trying to make it easier by maintaining
People throw you under not worried
It will come back to them eventually
It ***** when you can't find the words
When you change others try to bring the worst
All you can do is your best even
If it's not enough trying more than most
Making you feel not good enough
The torment fade when you break away
They have nothing on you they are stuck

Back in that space, feeling safe. Trying not to argue make a scene. Don't let those personal issues effect your work. Keep them separate not one of your kids watch your tone. Don't want to go making it easier to leave.
I respect you go through stuff not my problem while at work. Trying to provide a solution for work more inconvenience dealing with nonsense that has nothing to do with work.

Feeling like yourself not accepting defeat
After tough times overcoming heat
Make it through the week feeling beat
Growing older body is hurting
Focused on good with bad memories
Working hard under appreciated
Burnt out from giving it all
Got nothing more everything
Feels like a lost cause life on pause
Trying to change this mindset
So much going on hard to forget

Being called sensitive for caring
The only one doing it
While others mock your efforts
Talk down on you no one asked
Like if they are doing you a favor
Already proved myself
Fighting for self worth
Working harder than most
Not going through people
Just doing the work taking pride
Putting in the time growing
As they knock your existence
Not seen as an equal times
Taking back the respect
All the credit that was taken
Do the work soul ******* parasite
Pretending to have it together
Stop BSing everyone truth hurts

He loved his family but didn't like them trying to tell him how to live his life. Especially they didn't have their stuff together.
He didn't have kids so he could go out with no curfew. Being single could be lonely but he had the freedom to date and see anyone he wanted.
Anything he did seemed to bug them. He had a type who knew skin tone would be a factor but old family traditions they wouldn't approval.
All he did was work he wanted a life outside of that before he'd work hard and they'd make him feel like it was a waste of time
Now he's working hard and actually getting props and the credit he deserves. He was cutting people he didn't agree but still respected them. While those opposers made everything personal because they can't debate so they slander his character.
He missed them but didn't belong he thought he made a mistake but things are better and feeling right. It's better than expecting the worse.
He was honest with people while they through lies in his path. Becoming detours because they needed to be the center of attention. He walked away and minded his mouth one of the best moves

They tried to correct him that's what he felt and they tried to cover his guilty conscience. They dk what he's thinking or how he feels. He opened up they didn't listen or pretend to care. Made it seem like it's his problem. When things were bad they bailed on him left to fend for his own. Things are well all of a sudden they act like they were rooting for him. More roadblocks and detours

They don't like you anymore still keeping tabs on your actions. Friend to foe acting like they dk you anymore. Always changing they can be right in that one. Can't be the same or play those games already made those mistakes. Going forward not back writing it because saying it gets clustered up. The tongue disconnected from the mouth. Saying the truth and real stuff people hate and don't like your opinion. Especially when they asked. Learned to speak when spoken to other than that minding my own.

He was tired of everyone coming at him. once he stood up his ground they played the victim. He was never considered unless they needed or wanted something from him. He was always excluded on the outside looking in.
They made up rules to keep him out use to being excluded. He didn't care for these made up rules that weren't in his favor. He was thankful for what he had; while they had it all still talking about everyone. No one owes them anything.
Let people live their life, owning a house doesn't give you the right to treat others bad look down on them. He worked for his helped family not expecting anything in return.
He didn't care to answer deal with those people. He wasn't perfect no way near it and the last person that should be talking about anyone. It angered him, he walked away but they kept provoking him robbing him of his peace.

Tired of all the hazing the only one who toughed it out went through it all. Made more effort to be kept out feeling like, he didn't matter, or belong. Asking himself, "why did he stay," they obviously didn't like him, and he didn't always agree with how things were handled. Another made up standard to live up to when they didn't have it together.
He had another life before they crossed paths they can't take credit for him and all his efforts. They can't tell him, how to feel, or think.
They dk what's going on in his head. He may not argue, say much but refused to let them take advantage of his kindness. Once he spoke up that's when everyone kept him out. Before they'd taunt him, let him think, he could be one of them. He was okay and moved on. No reason to stay felt it wasn't worth it anymore.

Learning to deal with conflict
Most of the time it ends ugly
No discussion or second chance
Passion caused chaos maximum effort
Doing what's right staying true
Spoke up after being ignored
Caring more than most being an example
Trying to be a team taking the lead
Running things solo being the grunt
I don't hate anyone over bad communication
Hoping to make sense of the misunderstanding
Feeling uncomfortable mixed with shame
A mouth full of humiliation the aftermath
A new scenario same place

Went from doing all I can to not doing anything. Wise away when I should be sleeping. In the dark with my thoughts. Trying to come up with a plan now I have nothing. Feels like my time and luck has run out. Alone because I've let all the wrong people in. Figuring out what I need and want feels right for once. Listening to the voice in my head. Been doing so much but it's not what I want to be doing. Now I have time to myself and avoiding my thoughts so many scenarios play out in my head it drives me crazy. I think one way the outcome ends up being another.

He learned to work on delivery how he said things usually straight forward told to think how the other person would feel.
It was hard because he was blunt and honest with his peeps. His temper pushed people away because he was tired of being used and his kindness being taken for granted. He was always taking the blame owned up when he was wrong. Most wont admit they are wrong but quick to strip his efforts and credibility away.
Took criticism with a grain of salt most insulted or offended when he had an opinion calling them on their misconduct. He was over one way streets. He loves people but they made him out to he the bad guy for saying NO or standing his ground.

He wanted to be part of their world seen as an equal. They pushed him out kept him so he did his own thing. He didn't have to prove himself and stopped seeking their approval. They always talk about everyone to distract others from their wrong doing. Staying away keeping a distance
Focused on training and learning bass guitar being more artsy and creative behind the scenes making his own way being a trail blazer