Years of being betrayed still smiling
Tired of hearing lies staying truthful
An open mind on the rise for change
Around good vibes positivity living
Negativity left behind causing struggle
Bringing the world that's going sour
Cutting ties not hurting anymore
Fighting to fit in accepted not belonging
Moving on not that person anymore
It can't be thrown in this focused face
No longer numbing used as leverage
Forgiving oneself not taking the blame
No more living with the morphing pain
Use to be there taking the blame
Not around anymore doing what's loved
Pursuing this passion festering within
Growing strengths fighting through

Would rather be at work than home
Always doing something productive
Writing my stories people encountered
Personal experience over the top
Not one to associate with theives
Not feeding into drug habits
Avoiding alcoholics for sobriety
Help my group or you got to go

From having a team to doing it alone
The loyalty gone talked "being there"
Doing the work to make it better
Missing doesn't help anyone
Trying to make it better for everyone
All this team work talk working solo
Being proactive room to grow improve
Turning weaknesses into strengths
Can't rely on anyone lead by example
Focused on the work 8 hours in 5
One man doing 2 jobs in 1
Finish in a timely manner
Everyone expects so much
Don't want to fail being there helps
Counted out by the boss is insulting
Don't want to let anyone down
Hurt production hard to function
Body aches and sore maximum effort
Once a team player got burned hard
Looked out for others feeling betrayed
Now a rebel going solo getting it done
Use to being alone no longer afraid

Training is hard work paying off keeps the mind and body sharp. Tired of being ignored dismissed because everyone. Spoke up seen as crazy or overreacting. Saying things that were never saying twisting the truth into lies. They don't listen expect everyone to obey. Another moment of truth denied showed emotions to have them made out to be issues. Explained to people, who don't care. Its your problem they'll make it worse.

Never one to get mad quick to forgive.
I respect others with different opinions
After being insulted it's time to cut ties
Trying to debate and conversate
Making things person doesn't mean right
Arguing with true facts  taking on lies
Staying on topic while distractions
Makin personal attacks on flaws
Nothing to do with the conversation
Always respectful not welcoming hate speech
Going silent keeping a distance
Staying away from toxic behavior
Took the insults never again
Overcome many obstacles
Don't need peoples approval
They don't have what I want
Even if they did finding another way
Not going through them to get it
Never had family support
It ends up being about them
Everyone has problems
Doesn't mean others will give up their life
Take on their drama keeps getting worse
That they choose to be stuck on
We are not the same or equal
Spoke up looked out got ignored
No sympathy or remorse emotionless
When you told the person
This could've been prevented

It's okay to not know but once you begin to understand the growth begins. Sometimes you take others into consideration. Letting go shredding hoarded thoughts kept in notebooks. Not that person anymore Trying to prepare be better tomorrow. Be better than yesterday better prepared for tomorrow. All the pain is gone coped. No longer playing with old feelings or stuck on those old emotions. Ready to experience new moments the old ones are like trophies that cause you to settle because it was done. Getting more technical and more coordinated.

He loved his sibling wish he was closer. Everything was always terms and conditions so he stayed away. He just wanted to get along. He didn't care for mind games or the jokes that were packed with insults.
He was older and knew better than to lower himself to that level. Family divided mad because you hung out with a sibling uncomfortable being put in the middle of drama that had nothing to do with you.
Not feeding egos all the pride keeping everyone apart. It was foolish to impose on others thinking your way is best for others life.

Glad to have one or two reliable friends so much betrayal disappointment trusting the wrong people. His best friend got with his crush that's where it all began. Another close friend tried to make the moves on his GF another reason he got sober. He showed them love and all they did was bad mouth him. He became forbidden fruit and it lead to more problems. He didn't talk about anyone that tried to destroy his image.
He didn't hype those haters or trigger them not walking into their trap.
Turned away let them have everything but it wouldn't be the same anymore. He let them have all the tainted things because he moved onto something better.
Letting go was easier than holding on. He didn't **** up or brown nose. Showed love and respect to those who treated him right. Those that kept him out he went where he could be himself not bother with anyone anymore. If he couldn't be himself; he didn't belong there. If they made him fight for his spot it wasn't worth it even after proving himself worthy.
He didn't believe in ******* up or brown nosing he busted his *** worked harder and gave his all in his work. He stopped taking it personal and getting personal focused on his work.

Writing from the heart allows you to feel
Thinking to much blocks  out emotions
Trying to do what's right be the best
Made mistakes learned for them to grow
Improving yourself over the years
Missing old friends the cord was cut
Meeting the right people on the journey
Thankful for deep conversations
Being told the truth not what needs to be heard
In a crowded room learning from others
Some add perspectives others self indulgent
People care a smile shows they care
The tough love is obstacles failure to get noticed
Take a breath blow out the bad take in the good
Not that person anymore or in that place anymore
Look up be proud and happy for the blessings
Sometimes head down ******* up ego can be a downer
Remember for doing right
Over being reminded the for wrong done

He didn't want to argue or fight with anyone anymore. It doesn't have to be this way not holding a grudge or mad just trying to live and enjoy life.
All the physical and mental pain was enough trying to heal be better. No more childhood pain just moving forward away from the hurt. Not in that place or that person anymore. Cutting away the toxic letting go of those stuck on the past.
Releasing the dead weight since its not helping but holding you down stuck in the same old place. Slow progress is better than staying still.
Recycled thoughts reworded hoping to encourage inspire others. Another way other chances opportunities instead of the same false hope expecting change while working for new onto fresh new perspectives experiences gains from new encounters.

A year of insanity things might
Go back to normal not so much crazy
Less pressure tired of feeling divided
On the outside looking in
Not stressing social structure
All this talk causing frustration
Being told its wrong so much fuss
Taken into consideration
Now someone else is doing it

Trying to change older not the same
Losing joy things lost value
Bored with things that use to be fun
Afraid of losing what's left its all gone
Not much left trying to do what's right
Always writing to calm the voices
In this head an overthinking mind
Missing the old growing into the new
From fun to depressing not the same anymore
Wanting to be mentally stimulated
Growing old everyone fades away
No kids while some are having another
Haven't found love with the right one
Some married others now divorced
A broken promise too late to be honored
Friends become foes use to be bros
Over lusting women that never commit
Couples failing trying to make it work
Overcoming obstacles with true love
Some are sober addicted to love
Others drunk with lust wanting more

Poetry is not dead
The beauty within
Defines the world you live in
Some days are hard
Some days are blessed
Open to grow more than the rest

Running to first base and pulled a hammy
Played strong pitched getting outs
Caught pop flies and pegged a player
Kickball to give the team a chance
Usually get creamed playing softball
The inner athlete wants out
Mind filled youthful thoughts
An aching body with limits
Holds the breaks no hate focused on doing great things

Been wide awake not able to sleep
Deep down an unsettle feeling
Trying to balance things out
Feels like everything might crumble
Fall apart before these tired eyes
A sore body from pushing through
Trying to beat the clock going strong
Dealing with a lazy leads ego
It's just talking blocking it out
Some will never change their mind
Not expecting much moving forward
Set in their stubborn ways one way
With distance resentment fades away
Time to heals over being stuck waiting
From the old embrace new moving on

Sometimes it feels like the world is after you because of an opinion or differences cause conflict over a disagreement. Working for everything called entitled which is a lie since everyday is a fight to be heard to be understood.
After being kept out their opinion doesn't matter since all they do is bad mouth you behind your back. No one is talking about them or cares what they think because they knock others instead of build them up.
Working hard to get through the shift moving up means dealing with people is a headache while the degrading pay mildly attempts to make up for it.
Learning its okay to do it, after many years of people saying NO not believing in you. Telling you you're not right or wrong because you didn't it their way. You start to think I'm the one doing it. Why does it matter? In the end, do they even care?

Just because we are related doesn't mean you know me. You dk my my story or what I've done. Just because you talk over me doesn't make you right. Don't tell me how to live my life when you used and stepped on people to get where your at. Minding my mouth and business not fighting to stay or arguing to be heard.

Sad how you twist and turn the narrative acting like you've done no wrong pointing the blaming judging everyone. Trying to turn the family against you thinking you're superior in the end your mouth will double cross everyone you care more about being right than what you do to others. Knocking everyone instead of being open minded

Home sick for a place the heart craves
That's felt in the heart deprived
But never been there desired to escape
A place where you can feel
Relax without protecting your heart
Be yourself without criticism
Feeling at the edge ready to jump
The fatal fall that changes everything
Going forward not back staying strong
Escape into the dream set free
Lost in the moment feeling whole
The world makes sense at the time
Trying to make it a reality
Dead inside the dream lives on

He never denied his roots but did question someone of them. He felt they went against him he didn't expect anyone to give up on their beliefs but knew it would cause a conflict of interest. He wasn't happy making other people happy. When he was happy they wouldn't be happy for him. Having to pick family or his lover, why can't they coexist. He was in love but the family so judgemental. Never there when he needed them, why should they have a say.  Why did he care so much. He had to unlearn and learn somethings so he can try to keep his world from falling apart

Being honest with people is not hard. Some can't handle the truth because they are living a lie. Quick to throw others under because they are doing worse.
Thinking they are doing you a favor running their mouth when no one asked. Everyone has problems what makes yours more important than others who are working for theirs. Sick of those who make no effort trying to look down or talk bad about others.
Make sure you're at your best before saying anything to anyone. Dealing with those kind of people is frustrating and insulting at the same. They point out the obvious while doing nothing to contribute talking to people like are someone.

Setting new goals no going back to what tried to break rose above the ones who said it couldn't be done. Called delusional for not settling for less. Had an opinion now treated like an outcast.
Never one of them not trying to force it anymore. Let them go got burned too many times before. Use to being alone found comfort in it. Uncomfortable pretend people, who did wrong would some day see him as an equal. Ignored most of the time only considered when a favor is need half the time not even in the conversation. In the background watching the reign of terror going strong
Faded out no longer empowering the chaos or fighting for a spot since they are quick to push you out. Walked away from the disrespect all the lies. Always told the truth while the lies are accepted used to manipulate others. Not falling for the scam or sticking around had to learn the hard way finally moving on

People mad since he had an opinion
Offended by his honesty told the truth
They had nothing on him
So she tried to turn everyone on him
Couldn't win alone making a fuss
Started a false narrative full of lies
For momentum to gain leverage
Manipulating others to gain control
Had nothing but thankful and grateful
They had it all still not happy
Miserable the blessings never enough
Being insulted gave him tough skin
Never talking about anyone
For not liking him since he disagreed
Hated him for being different
He was always the topic of discussion

Trying not offend or upset anyone
Minding your mouth and business
Annoyed how my silence has everyone talking
Once I speak up everyone is quiet
Called them out on what was said
Now nothing was said all of a sudden
Trying to flip it they got caught up
Bringing good vibes while others ruin it

He remembers when he didn't have a job but he would do chores or run errands since he had his license. He was mistreated by cousins who thought they knew better but stilled with grandma. They tried to guilt him about paying rent and help with bills. He would feel bad till one day he had a conversation with grandma and the truth would come out. It was him dealing with another family that would take from his shine some how make it about them.
He got use to being in the background most of the time it was a fight to be included. Making him feel not good enough, ready to walk away making himself available was a waste of his time. He never thought bad about family but they never thought highly of him. He had done stuff but he didn't want kids or to get married.
Divorces rates were high in the family and he didn't want to be another statistic. Children used as an excuse while failed relationships putting on a public front.

Hard to get close everyone is leaving
Having no say or choice just going along
Saying I love you not hearing it back
Hearing I love you not feeling it back
Giving a kiss full of love no kiss in return
Holding a hand that goes lifeless
Fighting for a lover making the drama
Still single while everyone moved on
Found someone new got over it fast
Waiting for the one more selective
The failed love was really lust
All the trust was gone no connection
Hard to trust with the hostile behavior
Hard to open up feel safe for sharing
Emotions like a weapon hurting feelings
Such a savage attack mental overreaction

His divided family caused him pain and frustration. Everyone grew up poor working towards a better life. Every struggle becoming strength hopefully. Everyone wants to be loved but it comes with terms and conditions for some.
One with a partner who provides while the other works to support themselves. From lust to love while the other is love with material possessions.
Not playing games or bargaining to be accepted talking big but taking credit for something that wasn't yours bullying pushing people around to get your way. Bullied in the world because no one tolerated your bad toxic behavior in the work place. Especially if the job already ***** as much as the attitude that ruins everyone's day.

He learned to work on delivery how he said things usually straight forward told to think how the other person would feel.
It was hard because he was blunt and honest with his peeps. His temper pushed people away because he was tired of being used and his kindness being taken for granted. He was always taking the blame owned up when he was wrong. Most wont admit they are wrong but quick to strip his efforts and credibility away.
Took criticism with a grain of salt most insulted or offended when he had an opinion calling them on their misconduct. He was over one way streets. He loves people but they made him out to he the bad guy for saying NO or standing his ground.

Writing it down get it out of your head. Not taking everyone's bad vibes focused on better the situation. They'll blame just cut the cord they'll never own up. That's why they are alone no one bothers with them. They refuse to say sorry or forgive an apology.
They'll treat you bad over mistakes when they do way worse acting like they are good when they terrible talking about everyone behind their back fake to their face.
Things are complicated don't make sense just because you dk they are quick to throw a false narrative or make you out to be the villain because you don't believe or understand no one explains these made up rules or expects you to know when they don't even include you or treat you like an equal it got old. You made them look good and they dumped on you it was insulting you forgave then while they continue with the terror.
Trying to tear you down because you don't follow their way. Walking a lonely road on the outside looking in is better than being on the inside wanting out because of the lies. Not one to live a lie or trust when you have to go through hell to be accepted or liked

Thankful to be growing open to change not letting them think they could manipulate with pain to get their way not empowering toxic or giving into negative ways.
Hard work no short cuts or hand outs just do your own thing. Once you made it on your own others can't tell you anything.
You made it because they are talking even when no one asked. Talking bad about you because they haven't done anything so now they try to justify their actions by bring you down with them.
Not feeling into broken egos and pride that waste your time. You want to bring them up with you since they like to be a downer you leave them where they want to be. Being responsible for yourself and not others moods that try to smoother the life out of you.
Thankful for opportunities staying positive in a negative world that's quick to blame and never own up. Told not to be a snitch never associate with them. Hated for being honest while so many try to talk bad on others easily offended and walk through life living a lie thinking it's their right to look down on others. Appreciate the struggle stay humble and loyal to yourself while pursing you dreams achieving those goals. A heart fueled with passionate fire burning strong.

Quick to attack get burnt out give them a chance to escape. You played with them before going for the ****. It was a trap giving them a chance from playing the victim to being the one making the ****. Never underestimate your opponent keep practicing training hard don't let them live free in your head causing distractions losing focus. Making you feel like it doesn't matter or mean anything. You've been doing it for some time it's become your life. Hours of training for a few minute fights a big event the time to shine put all the training to use. Making moves and moving up the next level.
The warrior within being a civil gentleman life was the big fight.
Dealing with a terrible lead who does nothing acting like he does everything. Loving the job working around lazy people moving up taking charge. A failed relationship an ex that claims to have moved on still taking cheap shots. His family another obstacle instead of having your back being supportive.
Not talking just doing the work fading our of the drama so many rigged arguments that are pointless. Taking the blame standing for a lost cause. Walking away because the lessons could lead to more or leave you confused wonder *** happened?

Too old to be doing that
Too young for all that
No one is happy for you
While pointing flaws
Prefer to be alone
Helping others to grow

He wanted to have a beer after a long day of beer. One is too many and a lot is not enough. Trying to relax indulge in pizza without feeling guilty. With age taking health cautions. Wanting to date but afraid to make the same mistakes. Love too much or not enough feeling like it's a lost cause rather than health and something serious.
Hang out with someone that is accepting not insecure and jealous. Supportive of one another not opposing becoming rivals. It hurt so bad still recovering. Trying to make moves get out there even if rejected. Be yourself even if they aren't being genuine with you.
New obstacles from a lead that did nothing to a lead that is trying to pass the heat instead of owning up. Staying sober through the frustration and betrayal. Hard to trust since two conflicted employees have you stuck in the middle. Focused on your work and area giving your all doing your best.

They laugh at the truth. He's single because his last gf didn't trust him. He was always with her yet she accused him of cheating. The bad communication and the ****** interaction became a distraction from the real problem. One was in love afraid to be alone. The other tried to care and love was hurt and things never got better.
Trying to end is was hard when you love you fall hard. When you end up with aperson you don't love but appreciate their company eats you from the inside out.
Trying to love like you've never been hurt. Being brave and bold no longer like the old. Cautious protecting my his heart trying to move on.

He loved his family but didn't like them trying to tell him how to live his life. Especially they didn't have their stuff together.
He didn't have kids so he could go out with no curfew. Being single could be lonely but he had the freedom to date and see anyone he wanted.
Anything he did seemed to bug them. He had a type who knew skin tone would be a factor but old family traditions they wouldn't approval.
All he did was work he wanted a life outside of that before he'd work hard and they'd make him feel like it was a waste of time
Now he's working hard and actually getting props and the credit he deserves. He was cutting people he didn't agree but still respected them. While those opposers made everything personal because they can't debate so they slander his character.
He missed them but didn't belong he thought he made a mistake but things are better and feeling right. It's better than expecting the worse.
He was honest with people while they through lies in his path. Becoming detours because they needed to be the center of attention. He walked away and minded his mouth one of the best moves

Listening to his heart growth
His mind knew better stronger
Thankful refuse to settle earning
Trying to relax feeling restless
Body aches working long hours
Lower back pain training hard
A new look didn't change things
Same person clothes don't matter
Dressed cozy not taken serious
Dressed up looked at differently
Always on others terms and time
Once he made a stand it was on
The world was against him
He couldn't stay silent or play dumb
All these ignorant people talking
Being shunned for having an opinion

Stopped comparing living life
Got tired of complaining just doing
Not my crowd it's okay to say
Never going to see eye to eye
Never come to terms or agree
Working hard to survive
All the talk not listening anymore
Walked away tired of waiting around
Had your back take your knife back
A stabbing pierce of betrayal
Seen what you stand for
Can't be apart of that and you

Everything was tough so he walked away but he had no peace since it was in the back of his mind. Siblings taken away by social services and father back in prison. A mother that would have to work to get her kids back. While he tried to pursue his education wanted to help his family but couldn't do anything to help. Eventually he'd put everything on hold and come back home. His dreams haunting and taunting him because he was close but yet so far. Everyone would be united fall back into places. Back to the child hood home for his parents and one sibling everyone grew up. Seem to be doing some chose a relationship and others focused on bettering their situation.
He watched them make mistakes but could since it wasn't his life or gave them advice warned them but no one listened to him because they thought they knee better but when they tried to tell him they crossed the line because he already made those mistakes and learned.

The so called homies that stole to feed their bad habits from a funeral fund. Thankful for your help you aren't owed anything. The disrespect to the lost one. Not able to visit or celebrate his life on his passing everyone turns it into happy hour making a fool of themselves.
Its calmed down some have multiple strikes not taking that risk. Others having families being forced to grow up.
Everyone talks about being down or about the crown. Times have changed drugs and beer runs are not cool. Working hard being responsible is more respectable then those short term highs and drinking during the lows.
Grew up around homies wasn't a normal child hood to others but normal part of the heritage.