The anger to destroy others you implode it within destroying yourself
You hold yourself accountable
Living with the guilt tried to make it right
Everything went wrong ***** bad wins
Doing the work and spoke up
All you want is to be happy
Everyone wants you as company for their misery

So his church was not going to renew the lease on the building. He was wondering what was next for him. He opened his Bible and read some of the material about a home church putting it into context. His faith was strong but realized he'd  have to educate himself and be more involved with the world. Praying and meditation for understanding not lost just feeling out of place.

After being denied the position. He continued to work harder most give up take the job hostage act like they deserved it. He'd worker harder for something better. Not settling he expressed his goals to this unmotivated lead that detoured his goals.
It was a wake up call being better when it came to people that didn't believe in him. He didn't use his recovery from surgery as an excuse. He'd only miss work if it was an intense procedure.
From doing extra to doing his part making his area stand out. Taking time to improve himself having a life outside of work. Being a workaholic was not rewarding when he did the work most will get it without trying that's the frustrating part after this life lesson.

Trying to live life to the fullest
Rise above health issues
Work with what's given
Make the most of things
Years of flirting with death
Staying alive gave it to God
Facing fears by writing it down
Might look quiet thoughts processing
This mind is loud asking why
Questioning overanalyzing every moment
Observing actions over words
If one thing could fix everything
Called delusional for having an opinion
Being myself without compromise called a narcissist
Told the truth relieving the most hate
Telling stories trying to connect
Confessions not always forgiven

Working hard to pursue a dream
Head fight hard work for it
Till he made it didn't happen right away
Wanting his family but everyone had their own life to live
Their own struggles to conquer opinions and mindsets
He made it being a contender finally got his shot
Missing family looked at as crazy
Determined to be someone
years of feeling excluded
Being treated like a no body
Prove them wrong doing something right
Years of being discouraged
Always in the back of his mind
Bouncing back from injuries
Failed relationships told he wasn't good enough
They didn't believe in him
But he believed in himself
Found a way ran with opportunity

It was over for them and just beginning for him. Picking up all the slack everyone had other plans while he was stuck in the middle of it all. Know for his work didn't care to talk or say much never cared for the politics of the job. They fought for themselves trying to make it seem like they looked out for the majority.
Stayed strong and sober because it got to him mentally wanting to drown out the misery. Needing his spirit recharged so much drama. He tuned out focused on the work and did the extra because it made time fly by faster.

Use to love the idea of us but it's only about you. Said I love you can't deny these feelings for you. It's hard to move on, but you're quick to replace find someone new.
Sober minded not intoxicated by the manipulation. Came to terms even if denying you means tearing off a part of myself. Able to be a whole walking alone growing strong less thoughts of you. A feeble lie that use to believe was true. Forgiving within not being so cruel over a bad decision.

Once you lie trust is broken
Not bothering with fake keep it real
Lost in your ways, why must I pay
Always open to change everyday
while you choose to stay the same
Memories fade away becoming a blur
Moving on not looking back
Brighter days sun shines
Over this phase clear from the daze

The days are long never ending
Never enough bad leadership
Planning another move
To escape the evil ways
All the pain bad memories remain
Onto to better not settling for less
Healing up after surgery feeling drained
False promise the betrayal

He wanted to have a beer after a long day of beer. One is too many and a lot is not enough. Trying to relax indulge in pizza without feeling guilty. With age taking health cautions. Wanting to date but afraid to make the same mistakes. Love too much or not enough feeling like it's a lost cause rather than health and something serious.
Hang out with someone that is accepting not insecure and jealous. Supportive of one another not opposing becoming rivals. It hurt so bad still recovering. Trying to make moves get out there even if rejected. Be yourself even if they aren't being genuine with you.
New obstacles from a lead that did nothing to a lead that is trying to pass the heat instead of owning up. Staying sober through the frustration and betrayal. Hard to trust since two conflicted employees have you stuck in the middle. Focused on your work and area giving your all doing your best.

They made his dreams forbidden making him want it more. Being set on the back burner doing things behind the scenes working ******* the down low. He had a moment talking to his brother a moment to reflect the outcome of a series of events that occured over the years. His mind raced for answers the moment had passed him by all that he can do was ponder how things could've been done differently.
He didn't want to make it about him so he decided to mind his mouth, fade out of the picture. He stopped showing up. Let them win because he knew the conflict was not going to ever be resolved, so much favoritism. All he wanted was to learn and grow not feed egos clash with imposers that ruined his efforts to feed their starving machismo.

Cracking jokes being fun again
Took the job serious and gained nothing
Taking back self respect moved on
Looking else where pushed away
No reason to stay not one to snitch
Not going to hide quick to square up
Stand my ground fought back
Tired of not being heard after speaking
Did the work why the lazy complain
Sad to see everything decline
Trying to get ahead or come out even

Sometimes you have to cut ppl not because they are bad but because they try to knock everything you stand for. The toxic behavior and attitude bringing bad vibes when you work for good vibes. Lots of growth no room for set backs, or helping others that don't want to change. Expect you to give up, who you are when they aren't happy. Tell you that you are no good to feed their ego. Call you crazy for not giving into their demands. Delusional because you don't care for their way. Trying to say we are alike playing mind games. Trying to take control when you don't give in they try to influence, how others see you.
They try to tell you how to live, but not living the life they are try to instruct. Talk about everyone being two faced. Not bothering with all that ******* easier to walk away not feed or empower the foolish ego.
Thinking they can tell people, but don't like when people speak up; have an opinion of their own. Ignorance makes a scene while selfless stays calm and collected.

No one knows who you are but you've made a name for yourself. They can't take credit or act like they are responsible for your efforts. They can't dull your shine or take that chip you worked for. They didn't consider you before now they show interest. Expected more but got less. Gave it all but it was never enough. Established yourself and your ground refusing to lower or settle for less. Not into politics or kissing bottom to be considered. They should do what's right do more with the hard working not all the regular **** ups. What's worse is they stayed loyal and they got done *****. They tried to make you the next target focused on the work. Learned to be impersonal not get involved with anyone because they twist your words and try to blame/throw you under for working hard. They make themselves look bad by being lazy or doing minimum work.

After a fee set back you shake it off and stay focused. Everything you wanted is not meant to be yet. Everyday is a fight sometimes you let God take on battle because it can't be won.
Trying to stay on course but side tracks and detours are part of life. In and out of the hospital learning to take better care of yourself. The self destruction no one care only you could fix yourself. The past can't be changed and the people who hurt you won't fix what they broke.
They used you then dropped you like a bad habit. Once you loved your heart doesn't want to hurt them while the mind wants to plot revenge. It doesn't make it right or any better everything becomes worse than before.

We don't talk or know each other
Everyone thinks assumes the worse
No one gets along not able to coexist
Everyone has problems
Don't dismiss one anothers thoughts
Respect feelings try to understand
Years of denying to be accepted
Bend over backwards standing solid
Working harder than before
Gave up on complicated things
Got over being lied to
Forgiving others for the betrayal
Even though never forgiven
Everyone talks bad feeding into it
Focused on the good staying positive

I'm trying not to be a walking contradiction. It's hard make things better for everyone not focusing on myself. After being sick Trying to recover and not holding back on the work.

Always a team player treating others work like mine. When it's my work the half *** effort and not caring bothers me. Time for everyone but stuck doing everything last minute.

I just do what needs to be done not sit back and complain. Taking the blame. Do something about it stop feeling sorry for yourself. I don't care for pity parties. Do the work

A young college couple met the puppy fever was strong. He was a nerd and the other an athletic a softball player. They would meet in the campus cafeteria. She noticed his lip piercing and asked if it hurt. He noticed her long curly hair that reminded him of curly fries.

He'd ask her to meet up at the college gym they hung out and talked instead of work out getting to know one another. They would plan their first date for her birthday after coming back from a softball tournament this date would occur the following weekend, she would be available.

They'd go to an upscale restaurant down the street from the college. This place the grill that was in the plaza. He would order a burger and she would get a salad. They sat at the bar because they didn't have reservations. They had fun chatting it up getting to know one another.

They'd walk home stop at a local coffee shop where a live band. They'd order drinks to go and walk back to the dorms and would bond more. The night was interesting it was his first date with a girl that actually said yes because he was use to rejection.

He was always holding back quick to express his opinion learning to express his feelings and emotions hoping to be understood. This was a new level of growth that would boost his confidence.

They'd hang out in her dorm listen to music and slow dance to a song both appreciating one another company. Talk more till it got late and he'd return to his home remembering the night treasuring it taking things to heart

He looked in the mirror asking "*** happened?" Lots of curve ***** and detours. He had one victory after many losses. He got too old for things the things that gave him joy lost meaning.
Putting others first made him feel worthless trying to be selfless. Doing what's right focused on bettering his life and situation. The crazy world he lived in killed him off. What's existing didn't make sense or matter anymore.

He seen her with another guy it drove him crazy. He felt betrayed and worthy mostly angry insulted that a person would lead him on then act like what happen between them didn't happen like it didn't matter or mean anything.
He remained loyal to the wrong person once he moved on. She would try to take interest on his new romantic encounter. He would tell her to mind her business.
She would play her mind games saying she missed him when she wanted nothing to do with him. He'd ask her to be his gf but she said no but a week later would be in a relationship with someone else.
She didn't want a relationship with him. He was dating so he could get over her even though he wasn't ready. He needed time to heal.
He was one of many never meant to be the one in her life. His actions and behavior would get the best of him because he had never been in that situation before. Being a late bloomer was not helping but once he went through it he learned to deal with it.

Some days waking up is hard because doing things that are not fun. It was but now it seems like a chore. Gave my all and still they aren't doing anything with me. Thought be the best at it and they'd notice apparently they don't care because they are busy covering their end and not worried about anyone else.
It's been a long day and my shift hasn't started and I want it to be over already. Filling in for someone who doesn't care to be there. I've been raising the bar with my work and the bar is so low barely doing anything is an accomplishment.
Always wanted to be one of the crew of course they like me I do all the stuff they don't want to do since I see it as it needs to be done anyway.
Trying to stay positive focused on work but think I can be doing much more with writing and podcasting trying to find away but always wandering alone no one understands my dream but me.
I've been loyal and honest told the truth seen as crazy or weird for having an idea and knowing what I want not a follower.

The worse feeling is when someone hurts you
Then turn around and do the same thing to someone else
She loved you but you didn't love her back
The love given was rejected ***** to be denied
Being honest and truthful is a sign of respect
Those lies being cheated doesn't justify those actions
No respect or trust leads to nothing
From lovers to strangers not able to be friends
Moving on is the best way to get along
Never going to give another chance to be hurt
Not going back to something that failed
Another chance but already know the outcome

He was tired of taking on the world
Standing his ground refusing to budge
Then got a text from an old friend
She wanted to catch up like the old times
He was not good at social cues especially when it come to women
He didn't want to give too much
But didn't want to mess up and lose her
He was always a better friend than a BF
Trying not to complicate things made it worse
He was not good at expressing his feeling
Showing emotions was hard because he didn't want to get hurt
She thought highly of him
But never though anything bad
He didn't force people to stay
But he didn't want them to go either
After a while you grow up and stop getting attached

In the chop getting a haircut can be therapy. Cutting away the old a fresh new look
And the new could grow in change over time
From your old shop to other locations
Not the same hard to trust with your hair
Paying the tip the barber accordingly
Thankful for their skills willing to go back
Reference new customers to help business
Hoping to be a regular for generations
Making a fuss about doing it invested in them
Broken trust never going back there again

Use to be scared not afraid anymore
Valued your negative opinion
Tried to put me in my place
Than allow me to grow
Questioned you intentions now your mad
Years of criticism being knocked down
Crazy enough to get back up for more
Staying away gave this mind peace
The mental struggle became a strength
Toxic voices have gone mute
Faded away in the spacey distance
Taking in the silence feeling calm collected
Never understood the logic in this beef
A once sided argument wasting time
Feeling disrespected devalued by an elder
What happened to being an example
A role model for those trying to make it
Move up in the world not knock'em down
Times are different changed over the years
Once came to you for advice
An opinion isn't always needed
Sometimes an ear helps you figure it out
The thought process might click
Make sense to the person opening up
Don't tell others how to live their life
Who to be let them be cozy in their skin

Reflecting last year focused on the new
Good bye to old friends can't hold on anymore
Always reaching out reviving and reaching out over one sided
Tired of the two faced people
Talking about everyone
Acting like they are loyal
Learning to say NO over being used
Took too much last year
Taking on things that matter
Let go of those toxic vibes
They are draining not worth feeding
How does a person not trust
Trying to take a selfie
Pretending to be close
Can't speak truth but everybody lies
Why are people okay with that?
Try to trigger not giving it attention
Focused on goals that make sense
Make dreams a reality keep working
Stop being distracted by people
All grind no gimmick

Trying to live years of flirting with death
Being self destructive feeling unworthy
After being ill foot in the grave
Always fighting to survive
Praying not losing faith
Thankful for all the support
Before I felt like taking on the world
Not always liked that's okay
I'm fighting to survive not struggle
People don't agree that fine
Just doing my thing being me
I respect your decision
Making my moves get out of my way

Staying up till 2 am writing
Scenarios playing out
Reality has a different out come
Seems right mentally
Physical things don't play out
From making moves to sidelines
No credibility because of false promise
Called out the liar more lies and denial
Uttered words that hold no value
Actions are more than useless excuses

Let go of it all let the words flow
Free from bottled emotions
Looping emotions such a downer
Collecting trauma from the past
Happiness starting to show
Filling that empty seat give it life
Tell your story to inspire others
Tired of being silence holding hack
Did more than most came up short
Set up to fail in the light wanted it
Not ready so much to learn
Working twice as hard ready to shine
Behind the scenes to prepare
Find confidence ask many questions