Like a mood ring adapting to others
Trying to be positive drained by laziness
Reading the room bad vibes are strong
Trying to do what's right from the heart
Around those doing wrong not my crowd
Not forcing friendships anymore
No longer pretend to care show interest
After being use mostly betrayed
Prefer to be alone over being burned
Open to change most of all learn
New ideas tired of holding back

He would hide in his room and write to help him figure it out put things into perspective. He knew he made mistakes and tried to learn from them.
He forgave himself since he usually blamed himself for being over trusting to all the wrong people. Always opened to grow and learn something new. If he couldn't find it there he had to go else where so he can gain from his experiences.
Encounter new people and places he found closure so he was able to move on. He waited by saving their place but realized; they were gone not coming back.
It was time for him to do the same by moving on with his life. The hurt was real eventually immune to it all.

He smiled looked into her eyes
He wanted to rush the time wasn't right
He could missed the opportunity
Letting the suspense build up
Intentions mean well with love
Making his move could lead to more
Possible ruin things between them
He preferred an old friend over an ex

Working hard to pursue a dream
Head fight hard work for it
Till he made it didn't happen right away
Wanting his family but everyone had their own life to live
Their own struggles to conquer opinions and mindsets
He made it being a contender finally got his shot
Missing family looked at as crazy
Determined to be someone
years of feeling excluded
Being treated like a no body
Prove them wrong doing something right
Years of being discouraged
Always in the back of his mind
Bouncing back from injuries
Failed relationships told he wasn't good enough
They didn't believe in him
But he believed in himself
Found a way ran with opportunity

Picking fights in my mind
Fake scenarios playing out
What if this happened
I could say that what is the reaction
Should say this what's the point
This plays out different from what's happened
When it happens it doesn't play out
******* over a for a promotion
Set backs feel like a demotion

Too many complain campaign about everything
Rather than be the one who made a difference
Stands tall the resistances turn the page
Causing rage so many chose to settle
Than step it up be better make it happen
Not gonna run not gonna hide
Almost died revived made to survive
Another protest just to be heard
Not doing enough life is tough
Do something can't wait around
Doing nothing meant to be doing something much more

Monty grew up with that mobster never go against the family. As he got older family would go against him. Cousins that would give him attitude because they ******* up their life.
Monty was single and some of his cousins stayed in bad relationships because they had history or used the kids as an excuse. He didn't have much, but helped out his grandma paying rent.
When Monty struggled to get a a job everyone was mean, and disrespected him. He would find out the truth everyone that gave him crap, never contributed a cent. He took pride in paying rent to help his grandma.
As he got older he was more responsible and reliable while the next generation would try to talk down on him.
He wasn't a dead beat father with three babies mommas. He worked for his, while everyone talked like he owed them or like they did him favors. He worked hard and busted his *** earned everything he owns.
Monty was never materialistic a cousin who owns a house doesn't have the right to talk down or bad on anyone. He respected they own a house but it's about how you treat people. His grandpa cosigned when he passed everything was a nightmare.
Everyone thought they could fill his shoes but no one has the right. His grandfather united everyone would resolve conflict where these power hungry ******* divided everyone.

You can't keep living off past experiences
Time to create new stories to tell
New experiences fresh encounters
Go on new adventures live life
Journey into new realms new people
Take on personalities that stimulate the mind
Let go of old friends that lost contact
Be in the scene get lost in the crowd
Stand out not losing yourself
Challenge yourself to do better
Be more stop settling for less
The growth results so much progress

Use to be scared not afraid anymore
Valued your negative opinion
Tried to put me in my place
Than allow me to grow
Questioned you intentions now your mad
Years of criticism being knocked down
Crazy enough to get back up for more
Staying away gave this mind peace
The mental struggle became a strength
Toxic voices have gone mute
Faded away in the spacey distance
Taking in the silence feeling calm collected
Never understood the logic in this beef
A once sided argument wasting time
Feeling disrespected devalued by an elder
What happened to being an example
A role model for those trying to make it
Move up in the world not knock'em down
Times are different changed over the years
Once came to you for advice
An opinion isn't always needed
Sometimes an ear helps you figure it out
The thought process might click
Make sense to the person opening up
Don't tell others how to live their life
Who to be let them be cozy in their skin

He looked in the mirror asking "*** happened?" Lots of curve ***** and detours. He had one victory after many losses. He got too old for things the things that gave him joy lost meaning.
Putting others first made him feel worthless trying to be selfless. Doing what's right focused on bettering his life and situation. The crazy world he lived in killed him off. What's existing didn't make sense or matter anymore.

Sometimes you have to cut ppl not because they are bad but because they try to knock everything you stand for. The toxic behavior and attitude bringing bad vibes when you work for good vibes. Lots of growth no room for set backs, or helping others that don't want to change. Expect you to give up, who you are when they aren't happy. Tell you that you are no good to feed their ego. Call you crazy for not giving into their demands. Delusional because you don't care for their way. Trying to say we are alike playing mind games. Trying to take control when you don't give in they try to influence, how others see you.
They try to tell you how to live, but not living the life they are try to instruct. Talk about everyone being two faced. Not bothering with all that ******* easier to walk away not feed or empower the foolish ego.
Thinking they can tell people, but don't like when people speak up; have an opinion of their own. Ignorance makes a scene while selfless stays calm and collected.

The days are long never ending
Never enough bad leadership
Planning another move
To escape the evil ways
All the pain bad memories remain
Onto to better not settling for less
Healing up after surgery feeling drained
False promise the betrayal

Staring out the window trying to see my future
Thinking what steps I need to take so I can make it there
The cold breeze against my face, air so refreshing
With a pen in my hand and notebook on my lap
My room is my safe space made it a home
Other than in my head lost in my thoughts
Crazy when I'm out of my comfort zone
Not one to compare myself to others
Always seen as a threat minding my own
Most of the time I don't bother or care
Focused on life my own personal affairs
The vibes are shady the tension is suspenseful
Never said anything about you
Seems like you have so much to say about me
I don't remember asking why are you talking
Its all said behind my back not to my face
I'd take your opinion into consideration
Another fight in my head to write about

Why don't you talk to (insert name)
Lost friends over girl
Someone made up lies that got believed
Jealous because one's on the rise
The other made no effort and stuck
All the talk behind your back
Would respect a face to face more
A friend speaks up tells the truth
Even if your voice shakes
The fear of losing a friend hurts
The loss of a friend should never happen
An apology that's not forgiven
A grudge that's held as a divider
This awkward silence not helping
A cold stare: why worry? why care?
Told the truth out of respect
It was out of love even if it went wrong
Miss your friendship not toxic behavior
Enjoyed your company learned it was all fake
Seen as family once a mistake is made
Do you treat family with hate
Not going to argue or debate
Minds made up written off
The hearts gone dark no more love
No point in trying to change it

Wanting to funny joking with others some will get mad or offended for the truth. Grew up around people talking smack and took it once you start talking back people lose their crap.
Always open and honest called blunt and ruthless with the truth. Grew up tough but able to find a funny moment through those dark times.
Always straight up because lies are hard to keep up with. Writing different ways to say it or how it could set a tone. It could be deep and dark or humble with some positive energy.

Made cuts thankful because some people are not good for your mental health. Lowered your ego to keep the peace while theirs grew thinking they can judge look down on others talking but don't know the whole story. Making others looks bad to feel better about themselves.
This wall of frustration came crashing down because speaking up and having an opinion wasn't wanted. They could talk bad about you but once you confronted them on the shady actions and roles they played now they are mad and offend because the truth exposed them for their misconduct.
They played you for a fool now they feel foolish getting caught up trying to slaughter your character so the odds stay in their favor sooner or later their arrogant ways will get the best of them. No one is talking about them everyone minds their business and think they could impose their toxic ways trying to twist your words so you don't say anything let them run their mouth.

Running into an old fling he knew they could never be
They actually talked and civil one wanted in while the other was kept out
Getting answers why and where did it go wrong
His love for her would come back but didn't get his hopes up
She was hurt trying to find herself years of being lost
Being with the wrong people because she couldn't be single
The men she hurt became strangers
Played itself and distanced himself from her

He walked away from all the double standards tired of being talked about. Never said anything bad just had an opinion. Being told how to act and who to be didn't work.
Trying to be himself among a bunch of phonies. Working to move up so many road blocks and detours on the way. He didn't let others influence his action.
They couldn't dictate his fate leaving the world behind walking with faith. Praying for others for strength not always sure but motivated to do what was right. Pursuing a dream and setting new goals without giving up himself to be liked to be accepted.

So his church was not going to renew the lease on the building. He was wondering what was next for him. He opened his Bible and read some of the material about a home church putting it into context. His faith was strong but realized he'd  have to educate himself and be more involved with the world. Praying and meditation for understanding not lost just feeling out of place.

His personal space violated
Ignored till a favor is needed
All the disrespect the nerve
If he didn't do favors
They wouldn't bother with him
It was never enough
Someone is always complaining
Burning people for selfish gains
A snake lurking pretending to care
Among hard working people
Leaching off everyone causing chaos

Woke up late not anxious to show up for work. Ready to move on and transfer to a new location. A new journey and adventure over trying to talk no one is listening being interrupted talked over. Walked away they talk about you no one is talking about them. Once you made it they act like had your back. Spoke the truth now everyone gets mad. They could dish it but can't take it. Left them behind moving on going strong

She called him a player when she was the one playing games. He loved her turns out she's just lusting. His heart got broken for being over trusting. He wanted to win her heart make her the one. He found out he wasn't the one but one of many. She was playing everyone projecting the game on others while she played innocent. Times had changed from wine and dine to romance maybe something more. Now things are not what it appears to be.

He seen her with another guy it drove him crazy. He felt betrayed and worthy mostly angry insulted that a person would lead him on then act like what happen between them didn't happen like it didn't matter or mean anything.
He remained loyal to the wrong person once he moved on. She would try to take interest on his new romantic encounter. He would tell her to mind her business.
She would play her mind games saying she missed him when she wanted nothing to do with him. He'd ask her to be his gf but she said no but a week later would be in a relationship with someone else.
She didn't want a relationship with him. He was dating so he could get over her even though he wasn't ready. He needed time to heal.
He was one of many never meant to be the one in her life. His actions and behavior would get the best of him because he had never been in that situation before. Being a late bloomer was not helping but once he went through it he learned to deal with it.

Forgive Them and go on
All they do is talk loud
Creating problems for others
More excuses than solutions
Broken promises shatter trust
One lie is too many to tolerate
Better to turn away from evil
Trying to help begins to drain
Abused kindness is never enough
A favor never asked violated personal space
Another guilt trips spread hard
Always working for this dream
Every cent earned through hard work
Some given it all except work etiquette
Told to be a man provide for family
Pull your own weight rise above hate

Everyday is a fight to be heard to give my all
I don't complain and do what's asked
Being overlooked and ignored is frustrating
Not one to kiss *** but will bust my *** to get it done
My motto is don't leave it for the next guy be the guy
So many settle I'm one who believes, if you're not moving up or progressing why stay there
Being a sub has taught me doing the work makes you better
While some who have been there for years and let it go majority of the job is maintaining
Gave up on things to find my own label or no label I've been doing it
I've always been passionate about whatever I'm doing all in or nothing not one to waste time
People I valued and respected never took my thoughts into consideration so much rejection and dismissal.
I'm not one to **** someone's idea or dreams, I ask how or what can we do to make this happen. Become a reality make be a team player so many of my ideas taken and used being discredited.

Use to love the idea of us but it's only about you. Said I love you can't deny these feelings for you. It's hard to move on, but you're quick to replace find someone new.
Sober minded not intoxicated by the manipulation. Came to terms even if denying you means tearing off a part of myself. Able to be a whole walking alone growing strong less thoughts of you. A feeble lie that use to believe was true. Forgiving within not being so cruel over a bad decision.

He stared at the mats knew it was home. The fear of getting an injured walking with a bummed knee. Stretching to feel right do better drilling. Making three points of contact, cupping to secure the submission. Breaking the guard with knee slicers.
Trying to get the technique down so it could work more effectively.
Gi vs No Gi two different worlds learning to be patient every action leads to a reaction. Bruised up from training sore and tender muscles.

Always looking out for others, who walk into danger
Once they don't get their way, they treat me like a stranger.
Never said anything about them, but to their face
For them not liking me, they talk about me a lot
I wish them the best and stay away
Not letting their bad vibes ruin my day
From friends to foes someone Idk anymore

She was saying I love you to another person now she's around you using you to get over that person. She was engaged he took the ring back this was the story you told it made you sad. The day she kissed him he did not feel right or know how to feel since she talk about them keeping it casual but later saying they could not date or be a couple. Her mind with many ideas that made her indecisive made he jump to conclusions without consideration for his thoughts and feelings. She would do whatever and use anyone so she could feel better about herself. He didn't see the worse in her but he didn't expect her to be at her best.
He was confused about this fling she would come on to him talking seductive. He was respectful because he knew once *** was involved it would make things complicated. He was open with her while she played games using ****** favors as manipulation. Things were not clear but once it got too deep things would eventually become awkward a close friendship with mild ****** benefits would become nothing two trouble with relationship issues would become complete strangers once again.

Always taking lead working
Not I charge but keep it in check
Doing my part than going home
A life outside of work seeking peace
Burnt out prefer to be alone
Working harder to escape
Closer to the finish line going strong
Came up short burned by lazy people
Doing the work under valued
Under appreciated like every job

He remembers when he didn't have a job but he would do chores or run errands since he had his license. He was mistreated by cousins who thought they knew better but stilled with grandma. They tried to guilt him about paying rent and help with bills. He would feel bad till one day he had a conversation with grandma and the truth would come out. It was him dealing with another family that would take from his shine some how make it about them.
He got use to being in the background most of the time it was a fight to be included. Making him feel not good enough, ready to walk away making himself available was a waste of his time. He never thought bad about family but they never thought highly of him. He had done stuff but he didn't want kids or to get married.
Divorces rates were high in the family and he didn't want to be another statistic. Children used as an excuse while failed relationships putting on a public front.