Like a mood ring adapting to others
Trying to be positive drained by laziness
Reading the room bad vibes are strong
Trying to do what's right from the heart
Around those doing wrong not my crowd
Not forcing friendships anymore
No longer pretend to care show interest
After being use mostly betrayed
Prefer to be alone over being burned
Open to change most of all learn
New ideas tired of holding back

Breaking free from this fake person's crap
Gave then too much power going numb
Showing no emotions blocked it out
No longer empowering what hurts
Finding strength else where able to feel
Going where it's worthy as a whole
The emotional time blocking it out
Valued by peers that have more going on
Changing how things get done
Never the same rid of this draining pain
Made it fun once again with a smile
Made it to the end mild achievement

Already stressed from over thinking
My worse critic harder on myself
Do not like being put in the hot seat
Got to get it done in a timely manner
Stop being the x factor with burdens
Mocking workers adding to things
Was a pleasure working with you
Letting go going strong just started
Sad to see you go but enjoy life
Live make the most of retirement
Still got years to go barely started
Trying to stand alone and have grown
Not staying at the bottom forever
Moving up in ranks no one wants it
Not a leader but being an example
Helping the team doing my part
Being an example doing extra

Looking for peace
Trying to find purpose
Work use to be fun
Everything has hit rock bottom
The new leadership doesn't care
There was community
Now it's lacking tired of lies
Spoke up nothing was done
Not feeding into it turned away
Focused on life not going to settle
No longer asking just doing
Divided workers who care get it done
Lazy that have no right to complain
Go burned never again
Hard to trust due to betrayal
Keep going forward is a must

Use to be scared not afraid anymore
Valued your negative opinion
Tried to put me in my place
Than allow me to grow
Questioned you intentions now your mad
Years of criticism being knocked down
Crazy enough to get back up for more
Staying away gave this mind peace
The mental struggle became a strength
Toxic voices have gone mute
Faded away in the spacey distance
Taking in the silence feeling calm collected
Never understood the logic in this beef
A once sided argument wasting time
Feeling disrespected devalued by an elder
What happened to being an example
A role model for those trying to make it
Move up in the world not knock'em down
Times are different changed over the years
Once came to you for advice
An opinion isn't always needed
Sometimes an ear helps you figure it out
The thought process might click
Make sense to the person opening up
Don't tell others how to live their life
Who to be let them be cozy in their skin

He smiled looked into her eyes
He wanted to rush the time wasn't right
He could missed the opportunity
Letting the suspense build up
Intentions mean well with love
Making his move could lead to more
Possible ruin things between them
He preferred an old friend over an ex

No one knows who you are but you've made a name for yourself. They can't take credit or act like they are responsible for your efforts. They can't dull your shine or take that chip you worked for. They didn't consider you before now they show interest. Expected more but got less. Gave it all but it was never enough. Established yourself and your ground refusing to lower or settle for less. Not into politics or kissing bottom to be considered. They should do what's right do more with the hard working not all the regular **** ups. What's worse is they stayed loyal and they got done *****. They tried to make you the next target focused on the work. Learned to be impersonal not get involved with anyone because they twist your words and try to blame/throw you under for working hard. They make themselves look bad by being lazy or doing minimum work.

Staring out the window trying to see my future
Thinking what steps I need to take so I can make it there
The cold breeze against my face, air so refreshing
With a pen in my hand and notebook on my lap
My room is my safe space made it a home
Other than in my head lost in my thoughts
Crazy when I'm out of my comfort zone
Not one to compare myself to others
Always seen as a threat minding my own
Most of the time I don't bother or care
Focused on life my own personal affairs
The vibes are shady the tension is suspenseful
Never said anything about you
Seems like you have so much to say about me
I don't remember asking why are you talking
Its all said behind my back not to my face
I'd take your opinion into consideration
Another fight in my head to write about

Open to change willing to grow
Do the work not the drama
Stop comparing or blaming
Ask what you want and apply
Writing it out with feelings
Cope with those emotions
Let it free from within
Free from the past life lessons
Live in the present
Analyze and revise the plan

Been down been out tired of going with
All the sacrifice was a huge waste of time
Gave up in what was mine I'll never get it back
Just want to be me not act like you
My beliefs maybe different they wont treat me the same
I hide who I am so I can be accepted even though part of me is rejected
Trying to figure out a way that works I fel and hit rock bottom don't want to be here anymore
Thought about pursuing the girl but fear her thinking less of me
Went after the job and it did not happen

Everyday is a new day can't complain sooner or later I'll get it right
Been working for mine telling myself everything will be fine
Some days are out of wack but see it as a comeback
Other times it's about maintaining keep going strong
Others point out your flaws when you gave your all but did nothing wrong
Been doing what I love for years so I've been happy
Annoyed others can be rude treat one another so ******
Full of trust most mistake love for lust a failed crush gone sour
From feeling great over dealing with all the hate
From dark to light overcome the fear of night
Hard to express but never settle for less
Focused on the future not looking back at the past
Fought for them to stay but the fled
Now you let go why are they coming back
After betrayal not sure how to act but things will never be the same
Lots of growth overcome the pain writing keeps me sane

They talked nothing happened, they crossed paths years later. She was a single mom, and working at the bar. He walked away from that life the people he associated. The transition was hard to adapt learning to adjust. Working through the complications that made him stronger.
Dating wasn't the same anymore all the wild single women. Had become moms or divorced

He was a lover boy who never got emotionally attached
He'd give his all to these women but they were stuck on someone who treated them bad
He figured that's what they liked and did not fight because you cant force people to love it has to come natural
They loved him but left so he didn't mean much to them
He always wanted to open up but knew they were passing and he didn't expect them to stay
If they loved him it didn't show plus never acted like they did anyway
He was thankful for the time and moments but their minds were made up and he accepted their choices
When he moved on he never understood why they were mad or upset they let him go
He was not one to go back he'd be their friend but usually they were to ******* at him
He didn't care when he saw them with another guy because that was their choice
When he moved on and they seen him with another girl she was mad and never happy for him
He doesn't rush because he still wants to live before settling down he wants the one not just anyone

Monty grew up with that mobster never go against the family. As he got older family would go against him. Cousins that would give him attitude because they ******* up their life.
Monty was single and some of his cousins stayed in bad relationships because they had history or used the kids as an excuse. He didn't have much, but helped out his grandma paying rent.
When Monty struggled to get a a job everyone was mean, and disrespected him. He would find out the truth everyone that gave him crap, never contributed a cent. He took pride in paying rent to help his grandma.
As he got older he was more responsible and reliable while the next generation would try to talk down on him.
He wasn't a dead beat father with three babies mommas. He worked for his, while everyone talked like he owed them or like they did him favors. He worked hard and busted his *** earned everything he owns.
Monty was never materialistic a cousin who owns a house doesn't have the right to talk down or bad on anyone. He respected they own a house but it's about how you treat people. His grandpa cosigned when he passed everything was a nightmare.
Everyone thought they could fill his shoes but no one has the right. His grandfather united everyone would resolve conflict where these power hungry ******* divided everyone.

So his church was not going to renew the lease on the building. He was wondering what was next for him. He opened his Bible and read some of the material about a home church putting it into context. His faith was strong but realized he'd  have to educate himself and be more involved with the world. Praying and meditation for understanding not lost just feeling out of place.

Running into an old fling he knew they could never be
They actually talked and civil one wanted in while the other was kept out
Getting answers why and where did it go wrong
His love for her would come back but didn't get his hopes up
She was hurt trying to find herself years of being lost
Being with the wrong people because she couldn't be single
The men she hurt became strangers
Played itself and distanced himself from her

His personal space violated
Ignored till a favor is needed
All the disrespect the nerve
If he didn't do favors
They wouldn't bother with him
It was never enough
Someone is always complaining
Burning people for selfish gains
A snake lurking pretending to care
Among hard working people
Leaching off everyone causing chaos

Made cuts thankful because some people are not good for your mental health. Lowered your ego to keep the peace while theirs grew thinking they can judge look down on others talking but don't know the whole story. Making others looks bad to feel better about themselves.
This wall of frustration came crashing down because speaking up and having an opinion wasn't wanted. They could talk bad about you but once you confronted them on the shady actions and roles they played now they are mad and offend because the truth exposed them for their misconduct.
They played you for a fool now they feel foolish getting caught up trying to slaughter your character so the odds stay in their favor sooner or later their arrogant ways will get the best of them. No one is talking about them everyone minds their business and think they could impose their toxic ways trying to twist your words so you don't say anything let them run their mouth.

He walked away from all the double standards tired of being talked about. Never said anything bad just had an opinion. Being told how to act and who to be didn't work.
Trying to be himself among a bunch of phonies. Working to move up so many road blocks and detours on the way. He didn't let others influence his action.
They couldn't dictate his fate leaving the world behind walking with faith. Praying for others for strength not always sure but motivated to do what was right. Pursuing a dream and setting new goals without giving up himself to be liked to be accepted.

Woke up late not anxious to show up for work. Ready to move on and transfer to a new location. A new journey and adventure over trying to talk no one is listening being interrupted talked over. Walked away they talk about you no one is talking about them. Once you made it they act like had your back. Spoke the truth now everyone gets mad. They could dish it but can't take it. Left them behind moving on going strong

He seen her with another guy it drove him crazy. He felt betrayed and worthy mostly angry insulted that a person would lead him on then act like what happen between them didn't happen like it didn't matter or mean anything.
He remained loyal to the wrong person once he moved on. She would try to take interest on his new romantic encounter. He would tell her to mind her business.
She would play her mind games saying she missed him when she wanted nothing to do with him. He'd ask her to be his gf but she said no but a week later would be in a relationship with someone else.
She didn't want a relationship with him. He was dating so he could get over her even though he wasn't ready. He needed time to heal.
He was one of many never meant to be the one in her life. His actions and behavior would get the best of him because he had never been in that situation before. Being a late bloomer was not helping but once he went through it he learned to deal with it.

Forgive Them and go on
All they do is talk loud
Creating problems for others
More excuses than solutions
Broken promises shatter trust
One lie is too many to tolerate
Better to turn away from evil
Trying to help begins to drain
Abused kindness is never enough
A favor never asked violated personal space
Another guilt trips spread hard
Always working for this dream
Every cent earned through hard work
Some given it all except work etiquette
Told to be a man provide for family
Pull your own weight rise above hate

Not giving up or holding back
Someone else others not use to how I act
Changed with age can't always be the same
Move ahead or left behind just minding my own
The days of change are to come
Growing up and showing up to make it

Feeling enraged not sure
How to express these emotions
A new outlet to escape frustration
Spoke the truth made out to be bad
Stood my ground hard to be around
Squared up time to move on
Dealing with a lost cause
Taking back control of live
Tired of waiting things on pause
Breaking away after being betrayed
Meant for better no reason to stay
Hard to trust the condescending
Wrote about it exhausted from looping thought

She called him a player when she was the one playing games. He loved her turns out she's just lusting. His heart got broken for being over trusting. He wanted to win her heart make her the one. He found out he wasn't the one but one of many. She was playing everyone projecting the game on others while she played innocent. Times had changed from wine and dine to romance maybe something more. Now things are not what it appears to be.

Always looking out for others, who walk into danger
Once they don't get their way, they treat me like a stranger.
Never said anything about them, but to their face
For them not liking me, they talk about me a lot
I wish them the best and stay away
Not letting their bad vibes ruin my day
From friends to foes someone Idk anymore

Sometimes being in the zone you miss out what's going on around you. usually in work mode today when in thinking this is the same I can be doing more and be else where enjoying life.
Such a small world my coworker knows a few people from the high school I attended. Mentioning people from the past and what was. Times have changed don't recall names and barely remember faces people age and don't look the same. Not the same person I remember. How life can change a person.
How can they call you selfish when you always give saying no one time plus they forget all the other times you went out of your way to help them. How you treat people reflects you but no one sees how those people reflect on him. Doing more stuff that makes you laugh and smile matters. It gives you more satisfaction and gratification saying you did it and I did if myself for myself for once. One of the best feeling ever trying to fit in doesn't sound right it's better to stand out be your own being not follow the blind especially since you know better; choose to be righteous and do good things. They can do wrong cheat it will comeback to them in the end so don't worry about those who mistreat you or take you for granted.

After a fee set back you shake it off and stay focused. Everything you wanted is not meant to be yet. Everyday is a fight sometimes you let God take on battle because it can't be won.
Trying to stay on course but side tracks and detours are part of life. In and out of the hospital learning to take better care of yourself. The self destruction no one care only you could fix yourself. The past can't be changed and the people who hurt you won't fix what they broke.
They used you then dropped you like a bad habit. Once you loved your heart doesn't want to hurt them while the mind wants to plot revenge. It doesn't make it right or any better everything becomes worse than before.

He was old school this new way of life didn't make sense or sound right hard to trust others moral compass. He was blamed for her lies and deceit while he remained loyal to the wrong person.
Once he moved on; she came back place a mind bomb. He started over and date someone else, she got territorial. She didn't want him but didn't want anyone else to have him.

Use to love the idea of us but it's only about you. Said I love you can't deny these feelings for you. It's hard to move on, but you're quick to replace find someone new.
Sober minded not intoxicated by the manipulation. Came to terms even if denying you means tearing off a part of myself. Able to be a whole walking alone growing strong less thoughts of you. A feeble lie that use to believe was true. Forgiving within not being so cruel over a bad decision.

Complain doesn't nothing
Talking about it things get ignored
Back to old habits trying to make changes
Destroying yourself in the process
It's a lost cause your like to give purpose
Feeling depressed dk how to act
Doing better health wise
Not into people feeling sorry
Overall the doubt tired of being shrank to fit in
Giving up who I am to be liked at work
Everyone talks bad about one another
Then fake to their face acting like buddies

A few years out of high school they hung out in his friends car. Catching up talking everyone grew up and apart they use to be close. She always belong to someone else while they were friends.
She knew he had a crush but he was respectful of her. He had gone off to school experienced the world. She was finally single she was enjoying a few drinks and would kiss him on the cheek.
He was glad that happened but didn't take advantage since he didn't drink anymore overprotective of his sobriety.
He got lost in his mind asking questions wondering what it meant? She was finally single but he had other ideas on how things would go between them.

He stared at the mats knew it was home. The fear of getting an injured walking with a bummed knee. Stretching to feel right do better drilling. Making three points of contact, cupping to secure the submission. Breaking the guard with knee slicers.
Trying to get the technique down so it could work more effectively.
Gi vs No Gi two different worlds learning to be patient every action leads to a reaction. Bruised up from training sore and tender muscles.