She entered the room the world stood still
Her smile made me lose my train of thought
Mocha skin tone that had a glow
Curl hair like curly fries long curls
that looked wet and shiny in the light
Her curves and thick caught my eye
Once we made eye contact a charged vibe
The heart skipped a beat felt alive
Anxious to know more but can't talk
As she walked closer everything went grey
She stood out the world blocked by tunnel vision
She said hi to make conversation
Lost in those eyes her kindness a surprise
Two world's became one for the moment

Made out to be the bad guy
Doing more than the minimum
Changing it up not just showing up
Leaving it out there put it on the line
Doing the work that need to be done
Everyone easily offended making demands
Running their mouth fully flawed
Can't say anything making it personal
Twisting the narrative with hate
Judging others flaws to get an edge
Instead of bettering themselves

Being able to escape the bad
Focused more on the good
Stopped letting family be discouraging
Asking what I want instead of giving in
Not giving up lost in learning
The bass guitar a connection to a grandpa that passed
Drawing use to stare at a blank page
Not thinking too much letting things flow
The creative process able to feel again
Moments at the track escaping home
Bettering your mind and body
Life's not bad being around toxic people
Made it easy to leave without looking back
Not involved anymore
The childhood trauma
Doesn't continue in adulthood

They went to high school together
He had a crush but never a chance
Giving her the nickname big head
She always had a BF never be single
The week of heading off to college
He wanted to kiss her make his move
Instead of taking action he asked
He ran into her she was grown
She wore overalls and a sweater
That's what he remembered most
Now a mom that's her child twin
Crossing paths not sure what think
How to feel those distant emotions
Both leading different lives departing

He was down for his working to survive
Back up his crew when needed
Friends come and go like the seasons
No longer attached. Just let go of the past
Use to be a shoulder to crying on
Fighting for the weak, spoke for the voiceless
The weak got strong and turned their back
Called them a friend, and now they are a foe
Acting like they dk you hate you over a girl
Faded out, wasn't myself anymore
Went home, hoping to find peace
Lost direction, filled with regret left with doubt
No longer happy with the situation
Unable to move focused on distractions Needed closure more questions than answers
You want to know "why"  there's no reason
Trying to make sense of puzzle pieces
That won't link all these clues still not resolved

Use to be scared not afraid anymore
Valued your negative opinion
Tried to put me in my place
Than allow me to grow
Questioned you intentions now your mad
Years of criticism being knocked down
Crazy enough to get back up for more
Staying away gave this mind peace
The mental struggle became a strength
Toxic voices have gone mute
Faded away in the spacey distance
Taking in the silence feeling calm collected
Never understood the logic in this beef
A once sided argument wasting time
Feeling disrespected devalued by an elder
What happened to being an example
A role model for those trying to make it
Move up in the world not knock'em down
Times are different changed over the years
Once came to you for advice
An opinion isn't always needed
Sometimes an ear helps you figure it out
The thought process might click
Make sense to the person opening up
Don't tell others how to live their life
Who to be let them be cozy in their skin

Reflecting last year focused on the new
Good bye to old friends can't hold on anymore
Always reaching out reviving and reaching out over one sided
Tired of the two faced people
Talking about everyone
Acting like they are loyal
Learning to say NO over being used
Took too much last year
Taking on things that matter
Let go of those toxic vibes
They are draining not worth feeding
How does a person not trust
Trying to take a selfie
Pretending to be close
Can't speak truth but everybody lies
Why are people okay with that?
Try to trigger not giving it attention
Focused on goals that make sense
Make dreams a reality keep working
Stop being distracted by people
All grind no gimmick

Focused on the end beat clock
Lost in the process to get there
Knowing what needs to be done
Get it done in a timely manner
Trying to live up to the hype
Maintain the high standards
The young inherits the elders work
The next generation taking over
Glad to see them retire enjoy life
Applying the passed down knowledge
From the bottom to a lead role
Mentally prepared for the task
Feeding the spirit feeling empowered
Emotionally determined to make it

Love family not having kids
I can't afford With baby mommas drama
Trying to stay sober not smoke ***
Numb like a robot no emotions
Did wrong not justify it as right
Trying to start another argument or fight
Chose bad habits over doing what's right
No money for the kids feeding addiction
Running away from the problem
Instead of being responsible
Manhood always challenged
Doing nothing getting disrespected
Mom materialistic feeling abandoned
Dad never showed up anxious to meet up
The pretend dad made a new family
Excluded left out on the outside looking in

She asked him why did you stop talking to me? He responded because when I first started talking to you I seen someone unique and special. Now that I know you you're a follower listening to your friends. I thought you had your own opinion and views. Who are you and what have you? become I was deceived.  I seen you as someone else and I was wrong. Didn't mean to place a false narrative on you.
I showed interest you ignored me and once you found out I was older you treated me different definitely not mad but wasn't going to play these games. Then tried to pass me off on one of your horrible friends that tried to be controlling wasting more of my time.
I said you are a friend then got mad because I put you in the friend zone. Acting offended and upset when you already said there wasn't a chance of anything when you clearly made up your mind. I respected your decision by moving on now you talk about how this went wrong

If he died he had the girl he loved once
His first day was perfect in his heart
A moment that makes him smile
His first time making the moment count
Once that came to an end
Making it hard to love again
Everything lost hype no longer a rush
He became closed off empty inside
Dating with a hollow heart was wrong
The girl who loved him was obsessed
A failed relationship accused of cheating
She wasn't the one but persistent
Never left got use to one another
Threatened by her mother it was over
No one approved it wasn't meant to be
She cheated blamed him for her actions
She lied expected him to be honest
It was over never gonna happen again
Never had a first date ended up together
She tried to force the moment
It wasn't natural or real faking it through

He wanted to be someone else since everyone else had a problem with him. All he wanted was to be himself be left alone helping others feeling excluded because he didn't want what everyone had or wanted. Making him feel like he was a threat to anyone he came in contact with.
Asking "what's wrong with me" "why is he like this" but he didn't say, or do anything wrong. They came at him sour and twisted. He didn't need or have much but thankful for what he had. While they had everything still complaining, making others feel bad by pointing out their flaws. It didn't make sense he couldn't wrap his mind around things.

Trying to live years of flirting with death
Being self destructive feeling unworthy
After being ill foot in the grave
Always fighting to survive
Praying not losing faith
Thankful for all the support
Before I felt like taking on the world
Not always liked that's okay
I'm fighting to survive not struggle
People don't agree that fine
Just doing my thing being me
I respect your decision
Making my moves get out of my way

Stop blaming your parents they did everything they could you chose to do drugs. You've been given so many chances everyone is fed up. You got your way while ******* people over. You're a grown many I shouldn't have to be telling you. Yet you are quick to play the victim because your baby mommas' want nothing to do with you. They got tired of the lies and trusting your word that left everyone disappointed. It's your life we could only say so much you are your own person.
The drugs could only keep you wired for so long then you'll crash avoid what little responsibility that's left. Showing up counts especially when the standards have been lowered.
Always pray for those who are battling  addiction or an alcoholic. Getting clean is the hard part sometimes you have to isolate yourself and ask "what do you want?" How do I get there and avoid those that feed into your bad habits. It's a tough journey on a lonely road. You'd like people there but no one listens they'd rather tell you how to live your life than be supportive.

He put grew it having a brew taking in the scene. Out of place not sure where he belonged or fit in. He has a crush on the bartender but didn't make his move he wanted to be financially stable so he could match efforts. By the time he secured the job she ended up with someone else.
They talked she gave him relationship advice since he was single. He felt a connection but did miss his chance and moment. His love life was slim pickings as he got older. The dating pool is like a shallow puddle of mud.
Everyday he thought about it so many missed chances and opportunities. People had luggage personal issues and kids from a previous commitments that weighed them down.
He wanted to start a new with them but stuck on the old a head strong mind set that refused to change.

He walked away starting to feel better. Now a lonely person, after all the cuts starting to heal. Moved on with no regret gaining back self respect. Clearing his mind of doubt, stayed away from the chaos back on track.
The dream that plays in the back of the mind. Staying sober cut off old intoxicated chums.
He had no common interest other than being alcohol fueled. Relationships over friendships couldn't get any of them right

He didn't get how people moved on right away quick to replace an old love. It's puzzling for him. He knew married people who go divorced things are not what they appear. In a loveless relationship where cheating ia allowed. Why would anyone want to share their loved one. Before they'd fight for one another. Now they gave up on what they had.
He said he loved her and ahe was quick to replace him. She loved him but he didn't feel the same way back. He didn't force it and things didn't feel right or natural. He knew her secrets she asked why he never tried. He never knew it was an option or if the thought crossed his mind.

We all that family member that doesn't care how you feel or think.  Doesn't think highly of your choices or decisions.
After they bad mouth your way of life Always mad because you'd rather be your own person than follow.
Not one to follow or pretend to be cool after being insulted and disrespected.
Moving on better off alone then be filled with doubt

Played with the bass thought of grandpa inspired to learn. Play the songs played with the band. Feeling connected figuring it all out starts to feel natural as it comes together. Each riff comes together from the tabs trying to make them proud. Believe in yourself since everyone doesn't always believe. Keep bring open to learn and grow. Over grieving from the hurt. The pain vibrates up feel it in those bass strings. Writing lyrics to share a story. Show emotions after being criticized for caring. Feeling it all melt away each strum nice and slow starting to play faster.

Why was it an issue when he was going through something. Everyone had troubles and included everyone. It was no one's business but their own. He was a private person he didn't burden or bother anyone.
He enjoyed his peace cutting people off. Tired of jealous people comparing and judging others. Work for yours and do your own thing he strongly believed. He's been doing the work for years but not sure what to do with it. Writing on a few platforms speaking on his podcast. His outlets ways to express himself without his words being twisted giving others an excuse to talk because they had too much time on their hand

Being a man learning to trust himself. Use to be scared to mess up and make a mistake. Facing fears a new obstacle of people with their own situation able to adapt to the situation.
Trying to understand usually focused on the work not drama or people but those set backs become detours and distractions. Asking questions not getting the answers tired of the run around. Learn to do it yourself the best of your abilities if they want it done another way. They could explain the changes and how it should be done.
Years of being excluded treated like a no one. Has been rewarding those people made it easier to understand yourself speak up say what you want because they have nothing to offer you acting like their shady behavior did you favor. Working quietly rising to the next level

Waking up having a sip of coffee
Trying to stay warm in the cold
Thinking what's next to start the day
Mentally preparing for things to come
Staring at a blank page soon filled thoughts
Acting normal whatever that means
Praying things wouldn't be so complicated
Thankful for everything and everyone
It was a battle to get there
Taking on an ego with a bs job title
A boss with no respect for others
Due to a docotors degree
Felt connected then everyone transformed
Soon did the same onto new and better
Working to fit into a better place

Been bossing it up working for it. Not always going to be liked, or the favorite. Not about being right but doing what's right. Seen pride before my eyes an older man not asking for help but had the help.
The younger crowd had no problem helping. Even if he did talk down to them and act like everything evolved around him. Making example of others instead of leading by example.
The worker took pride in his work and didn't like to be micro managed or told twice to do something that needed to be done or got done.

If I said sorry would you forgive me
I admitted I was wrong why can't things be right.
Use to be a close friend now you see me as a worthless stranger
Just because we are blood doesn't make us equals
You think your better than me oppose our differences
The love became betrayal loathing one another
Use to talk now we are on nonspeaking terms
One sees it as a game the other refusing to play
One giving love the other turning everything into hatred
Talking loud doesn't make it right
Talking about the person instead of to them doesn't fix things
Everyone thinks they are right both wrong full of pride

Ready for the new year
A new liver, ready to go
Recovering from the transplant
Going crazy with the downtime
Use to doing something that matters
Working to get ahead cash flow
Hard to spend ready to hustle
Trying to get all the things denied
On the sidelines observing everything
Need to get back into it rise up
The hardest part is starting
Told never get comfortable
Keep busy doing something
Finish things that got started
Stopped being distracted by drama
Avoiding negative people
Fueled by toxic behavior
Focused on the goals set the bar
Growing spiritually and mentally

Changing that mindset has helped
Not holding a grudge but letting go
Walk away from the drama
Friends dated away over the years
Cut off toxic families bad behavior
Need feeding into the negativity
Head up when facing diversity
It's easy to put head down plow through
Stand tall with your moral compass
Would rather do what's right than wrong
Left alone doing the right thing
That means so much and everything
A heart of gold growing into more
Walked away from the pain
Traumatic memories lose a pulse
Writing deep thoughts enriched closure
The fear dries like blood scabs over
Healing process within begins

No one knows who you are but you've made a name for yourself. They can't take credit or act like they are responsible for your efforts. They can't dull your shine or take that chip you worked for. They didn't consider you before now they show interest. Expected more but got less. Gave it all but it was never enough. Established yourself and your ground refusing to lower or settle for less. Not into politics or kissing bottom to be considered. They should do what's right do more with the hard working not all the regular **** ups. What's worse is they stayed loyal and they got done *****. They tried to make you the next target focused on the work. Learned to be impersonal not get involved with anyone because they twist your words and try to blame/throw you under for working hard. They make themselves look bad by being lazy or doing minimum work.

Took the leap jumped without hesitation
Free falling the hard wind against my face
The deep hole consumes the bodys pain
My soul clears out of heart, skips a beat
The adrenaline surfacing becomes immune
Fight to survive, facing death with no fear
The tension strong feed off the vibe
Forces spreading setting a tone
If one things feels wrong, all feels lost
In mid air, no one knows, care to understand
Free falling the trying to resist
Life flashing before your eyes
A fist made tight, easing up can mean it's over
The body reacts, this can be the end
Something within wakes up; revived not over yet

He didn't care what others thought
Not use to complements was a change
Usually back handed complements
Didn't act or dress extra at work
Just did his tasks and went home
Never the first pick but did stand out
Staying motivated the crew was down
Some days filled with good vibes
Others lagging getting through
Not afraid to try lead by example
No hard feelings or personal thoughts
Just staying goal oriented to finish
Changing up the routine other ways
Bringing up the standards next level
Staying strong the end of originals
Moving on with the next generation
Standards left high to meet the goal
Taking over honoring those before
Using the passed on knowledge

It plays in your mind repetitively
Seeing and believing in a dream
Work hard to get to the next level
The old vs new that's with is developing
Staying strong after being mocked
Looked down on the struggle
Expecting results not helping
Eyes full of judgement gazing hard
Staring from a distance sending bad vibes
Expecting you to fail never happy for anyone
A lurking heart filled with hatred
The worse is his family aims to hurt
Knock an achieve make it meaningless

The things that mattered to him treated him like he didn't matter. Taking one for the team but the team never had his back. Being called spicy if he opened his mouth. Not saying anything made him feel provoked. Speaking up would lead to more criticism. Trying to do his work and go home home. He thought about dating but that pool is shallow waters and slim pickings. Told to stack paper he knew money couldn't buy happiness.
After a few failed relationships he was okay with his own company. Learned to be more selective and not rush things. He wanted things to come natural not be forced.

Ray would ask his coworker "why me?" Zoe response would be "why not?" Ray would vent bounce ideas of zoe. It helped him grow and come to terms with things because Ray's life wasn't bad but things got out of control. He liked a girl that moved on but never gave him a chance. Saying to himself, she would regret that day. He had dreams and goals trying to utilize his talents within.
Everyone told him it couldn't be done seen him as crazy, but they never tried why did their opinion matters why did they care.
Ray wanted to write comedy and loved MMA he saw contradiction in them. He realized he wouldn't be able to fight/compete his whole life. He'd come back to it doing things people didn't understand, but he didn't get others visions or hidden agendas. Tired of changing for others; while they made no effort to accept his perspective.
It feels like a rap battle he knew how to argue and debate while others make it personal and insult your being since they didn't have a steady foundation.

Another day almost done about to start
Focused on success trying not to fall apart
Used and abused crazy to comeback for more
Still writing and fighting for mine it's been tough
Not influenced by others who oppose my way
Don't need that negativity please stay away
Toxic vibes they feed on to stay a live
Trying to survive not roll over and die
Cut the cord the history trying to stay relevant
Facing forward in the present live in the moment
Not going back to the past, don't tell me how to act

Feeling alright every day is a fight
Things get easier the more I write
Too old to be arguing, got things to do
Don't need to talk focused on work
Not dealing with one-sided mindsets
Trying to be me hard for others to see
Let me be back to the basics
Stopped worrying things got easier
Working for insurance, staying strong
Thoughts flowing need to grind
Don't care to explain myself
Would rather write feeling like me
Makes it easier to sleep at night
Facing fears feeling overwhelmed
Breaking down all the hype created

Talking to you like you're an idiot
Trying to project their BS on you
Listen to them talk in the end
They are wrong they do you
Know your story or what you've done
Your struggles within all the obstacles
Overcome hardship working hard
Plowing down the ******* of life
Mental anguish burning up peace
Thick skin for rough times taking it
Long periods of pain and pressure
No coping or closure onto the next

Had so much hope cloudy days
Smiled through the bad times
Feels like time is running out
Not too late feels near the end
Thought it would happen
Hard to find the one after many
Trying to love without being hurt
Back on track after being derailed
A vision within another outcome
The results once mattered
Never turns out accordingly
Trying to make it on another path
Aiming to win comeback from being last
Learned way more from failing
Easy to be dismissed than be understood ready to leave the hood

She went out on him, and knew he loved her. She wondered if he would take her back. She made it so complicated to go back would he embrace her return.
After meeting in college both went in their separate direction. He chased his career while she settled down had kids now divorced. They cross paths once again so much change.