In my mind I find peace make sense of everything
I hate to fail but come up short
Try to stay on time and consistent with all the resistance
I'm getting older everyone feels more distant
All I do is listen to people who set me up to fail
All I want to do is make it and prevail
One to fight and Bite now all I do is tuck my tail
Not arguing with useless people who take me for granted
So numb I feel life less feel my soul leave my body
Mistake for dead emotionless in my head
Stare off into the distance block it out
The sounds around me becomes white noise
Feeling trapped can't escape over all the hate
Faced my fears no one knows wipe the tears
Smile like the hurt isn't there
Hide it all be strong for others
In the end it catches up you want to leave it behind
comes back not ready for the attack
Hard to breathe what's next
can't keep living of the same good deeds

Made out to be the crazy one
Spoke up games being played
Don't care for the drama
Not in it for the glory
Doing what's right
You can be lazy
Your problem not mine
Doesn't phase me
Made out to be crazy
Don't pick a fight
Not being heard
Able to speak up
I have your attention
Now your mad told the truth
Time to walk away
Pointless conversations
Wasting our time
Bounce back from this
Head up high you'll be just fine

Did the work came up short
Need to come up with a new game plan
Too much on the mind
Pent up frustration so much confusion
Fear of the unknown trying to grow
Change isn't always for the better
Coming up short working harder
Working smarter lots of talk
Should be listening to one voice
Lost in faith not running from hate
Another debate make sense of it all
Show too much emotions worked up
Going numb not able to express feelings
Burning up from within

He wanted to be someone else since everyone else had a problem with him. All he wanted was to be himself be left alone helping others feeling excluded because he didn't want what everyone had or wanted. Making him feel like he was a threat to anyone he came in contact with.
Asking "what's wrong with me" "why is he like this" but he didn't say, or do anything wrong. They came at him sour and twisted. He didn't need or have much but thankful for what he had. While they had everything still complaining, making others feel bad by pointing out their flaws. It didn't make sense he couldn't wrap his mind around things.

Poetry is not dead
The beauty within
Defines the world you live in
Some days are hard
Some days are blessed
Open to grow more than the rest

Been writing over all the fighting
You don't understand me stop trying to change me
Been loyal and true while you are evil and cruel
Woke up to be great you always late don't need the nonsense or the hate
Over all the fakeness fake to my face
Think you are real I see through the front

You want to matter but your forcing your way in. You got hurt so you don't let anyone in. Once your in if you don't like what you see you bail. Trying to fall in love with a drug addict who loves drugs more than you.
You don't love this person all you want is to change them. Thinking your love is stronger than the drugs she won't give up on. Thinking your middle name matters even though you claim to hate it. Thinking she knows you but you don't enjoy people's company thinking they are going to take in everything you say.
Sad how you are nice when you need something other than that you won't bother with anyone. All the smack you talked making it personal because you didn't get your way or thinking you could use their weakness against them to get them to do your evil biddings.
Idk what you think or how you feel but you can't treat people the way you do. You insult them thinking you deserve respect. Don't use people act like they owe you. Not able to debate an argument so you make things personal talk about things that have nothing to do with the situation.

The music flowing through the mind
Things that need to be said talked about
Feeling the energy and vibe the technique
Drilling hard treat it like the real thing
Wanting to move up committed
Keep working building up from practice
Pain cause by family calling you sensitive
Insulting your intelligence not being accountable
Trying to break your spirit not giving a chance to do so
Don't expect them to fix just destroy
Acting like the criticism did you a favor
Providing a strong argument with reason
Talking loud not listening being one sided
Shouting false narrative mostly lies
Doesn't make your opinion right

He was late but made there eventually
Years of being told no wanting it
Being insulted told other wise
No one believed in him
Head down plowed through
Broken heart finally heals
Learning to love again over the hurt
Starting with ones self respect
Left to chase the dream in the works
Came back to nothing only wiser
Emotional damage gaining strength
Expecting things to change
He grew mentally and physically
Everything remained the same

Just because we are family
You can't tell me
How to live my life
I've grown taken risks
You did things played it safe
I'm working for mine
I respect you had a family
Respect my decisions to pursue a career
I respect who you chose to be
Stay home be a mom that works for you
I might've detoured doing what I love
I'm pursuing my passions
Always writing telling my stories
My side of the story the truth
We are different people different lives
You can't pick or chose to be in my life
Commit fully or don't waste my time
That's all I ask always outta place
Trying to fit in when I should belong
Not just be in the background ignored

Writing has been therapy clearing the mind of extra stress being able to vent without others twisting your words. Always taking in the bad while focusing on the good. Its therapeutic while listening to metal music the drums and fast pace tempo is so comforting.
Using colored pens to fill each page writing for closure to let go of the things that don't matter trying to stay sharp more focused composed on things that will help better the situation. Fell off trying to get back on track.

No one wanted it now everyone is ******* he went for it.
No one took a chance or opportunity he went for it all everyone did was talk
He was a doer not into talking anymore
Always supportive and respectful of others
They were quick to slander him and expected him to fail
He'd separate himself being sober was the best thing but it led him towards being isolated
His mental health became a priority not listening to people
He was doing it the nerve of them to criticize
All the people talking didn't do anything staying within their limitations
Working harder doing more than most what did they know.
He did the work and results showed all they did was talk full of excuses he was over it

He loved family someone was going through something
Everyone put up with it love faded
Minding his mouth it made things worse
Saying sorry was hard he was treated mean
Dealing with his feelings was like defusing a bomb
Rather than say sorry he moved on
Broken from the inside out
Didn't do wrong got attacked
Tired of arguing it was pointless
Fighting to be heard seen as the bad guy
Couldn't change their minds it was made up
The didn't respect him he stopped trying
He closed them out felt trapped inside
Wasn't going to force his way in
Not his way of life anymore
Drinking want fun all the depression
Hoping to meet someone
While settling for the wrong person
Stuck with manipulators taking him for granted
He loved family his space felt invaded
Not sure how to act and respond
Life's not hard but others complicate it
He was silent but loud in his head

No one bother with him so he decided to do whatever made him happy. They made him out to be the bad when did nothing wrong. He showed them love and respect while they made him feel like he didn't belong or matter. He didn't take it to heart because in the end he was alone with or without he would live his life to the fullest. Without others trying to influence him or talk to him like he was an idiot. He didn't always know but open to learn so he didn't have to rely or depend on anyone.

Thinking what to say it plays in his head. His mind loops, he's rehearsing his lines. He wanted to come off confident and strong. Looking in the mirror; making ****** expressions working on the vocal tone.
Feeling confident about this a nice change in his routine looking for something new and refreshing.

Some still have it going strong
Others are fighting for it on the level
Getting older not the same
The mind adjusting to new ideals
Body going through change
Elders passing away with time
Loved ones no longer talking
Praying everyone would get along
All the pride doesn't make ot right
Saying sorry doing the same stuff
Instead of changed behavior
Holding a grudge isn't an apology
Not talking to keep the peace
Both to stubborn to compromise
One telling lies to justify things
The other not saying nothing getting heat
Everything could be made right with talking
Both offended making it personal and deep

All the tears all the pain
Trying to live be normal
Working with complications
Trying to balance out the sanity
Striving through only if others knew
Some so cruel making it hard
Others evil that's their truth
Trying not to fail your supporters
Not fail yourself dealing with intensity
Writing to feel praying it gets better
Express these hard words to speak
Staying positive about the situation
While things are at their worse
Being the love that was neglected
Supporting those who feel alone
Praying for those dealing with mental torment

The work more important than your emotions
Doing the right thing over what is right
Not there to argue take on egos
They don't value you but keep rising up
To the next level even if against the odd
Be yourself make it count everyday
Be genuine with others with an open heart
Don't hide who you are open to grow
One person was dishonest with your time
Not settling for less make progress
Someone who matters makes a difference

Grew up hood not acting ghetto
Some have it all still ungrateful
Working for it nothing is given
Pursuing a dream nothing else matters
She cheated trying to pass the blame
Homie talking bad not a friend anymore
Did wrong can't carry the burden
Forgave who did their ***** deeds
Never forgiven walked away intact
Loyal to the wrong people
Bunch of two faced jerks
Watched them go away
Not accepting defeat from traitors
Everyone fades away focused on goals
Focused on doing right rising up
Knife in the back take it back
Full force going strong all heart

Always writing, the thoughts flow
Not use to the words being spoken
Never bass in the voice, flat and soft
One to talk, no reason to yell to be heard
The words come out low, important to project
Always listening to others advice
Asked for guidance got no response
Found away, it's wrong decide to speak up
No one asked all of a sudden something to say
Consideration return the favor trying to help
Stubborn mindset blocks out other perspective
Writing is expression only way to be heard
Find feelings emotions in every word
Flying free wild bird, escape this cage
See the world meant to be heard

Scared to have those awkward conversations
Sometimes they end is intense silence
Being ignored is frustrating
Speaking up hurts
Not being to speak up because things get personal
Told the truth usually get in trouble
Spoke up nothing got done
Did the work credit was stolen
The rage within builds up
Helping others ******* over in return
Trying not to cuss expressing anger
It all came out the body shook
Feeling it drain left with humiliation
Defeated that those emotion got the best of the moment
***** to be passionate when no one care
Bring good vibes everyone is negative

The moment had come, he looked in her eyes and told her; how he felt about her. The look in her eyes went cold and a blank stare. From good friends to complete strangers. He wanted to take it back make it right but that's how he felt. The cold silent response made him feel ***** for expressing his emotions. She cared for him but didn't not see him like that. She would confind in him the bond was broken. He thought highly of her and she didn't think anything of him. She had placed him in the friend zone and it could be nothing more.
The connection was lost from talking everyday they could barely speak and make eye contact. He was hurt but would get over it. Later she would get with his so-called best friend. It was a secret that would later be exposed to him. How can he trust anyone when these people, he thought highly of partnered up against him. Eventually he told himself be better and not settle for less.
Life would fast forward they both had kids with someone new one married and the other bonded by children.

He was trusting to the wrong person it all came out. She was triggered ready to make the **** shot. He surrendered just wanted peace it was never ending no pretending. He didn't care to prove himself even when provoked. Walking away from all the sadness not letting them knock you rebuilding yourself up. From a crowded path to being a trail blazer scared to drift but journeying onto new leaving the old.

Make it fun now it ***** going numb
Terrible leads dk what they are doing
A stupid title given not doing the work
Stepped it up and got set back
Don't care to react or show any emotions
Helped out and it all went bad
Forgiving yourself they did you *****
Trusted all the wrong people
See through the lies hard to trust
Never going to be what they say
Proving them wrong so over all the doubt
Better yourself let them talk
Be the one talked about not the one talking

Holding pads something didn't feel right. It wasn't wrong but felt off. He asked a question but was told do the work. He retorted with I'm doing the work, "I want to do it right" being able to adapt and adjust making sense of the confusion.
Practice sets the tone for the fight. All the sacrifice rebuilding yourself starting over means you have experience time to change it up. Back to basics focus on form and technique. A few losses can humble your ego leading to a better product.

Trying to find true love
Anxious for it been deceived before
Fell in love with her soul addicted
Her smile could make his day better
Not able to get enough once it ended
Couldn't get that fix
Expecting the person fix a tampered heart that's broken
Moving on was hard not using the new to get over the one
Once rushed trying to heal getting over one by getting under another
Took time alone got away reading and writing to get new perspective
Fell out of that world ventured in another

Loving you and kept out
Your hatred pushing everyone away
Talking about everyone like it's right
Causing division among friends
Putting out positive vibes
Trying motivate others to enjoy life
Stop being stuck on an ex
They moved on do the same
Quit blaming yourself they chose to cheat
Forced it failed because it didn't work out
Loved too much only one sided
The passionate kiss lost its charge
Hand holding gave life now soul *******
Being selfless for others feeling ignored
Helping others

Feels like something is wrong
Haven't done anything extreme
A pause for the cause diverse emotions
Trying to relax recover from the stress
Bring good vibes wrestling with bad thoughts
Did the work scared to come up short
Made the wrong right crippled feelings
Fearing a negative outcome
Taking on more overwhelming frustration
Riding out most of the struggle
Protecting others from crazy
Those blindsides are the worse
Unexpected feeling rejected
Remained loyal disrespect

Hate being the jynx
Love sports miss participating
To watch the team lose is frustrating
Trying to be a fan and supportive
But they do better not keeping tabs
The game can be intense
Full of anxiety and excitement
Wanting to win but stuck with a loss
The team wins it was a nerve wrecking game
Use to follow the team and knew stats
Before the job and responsibilities
Had a schedule full of games
Softball use to coach forever a fan
Watching little League World series with family
Basketball season starts up
Use to know the team and players
Trades are made some are improvements
Others trades made the team worse

His dream was a nightmare to others
Working harder than most barely getting by
Never too late make time for it
Write your story no one can do that for you
Dealt with those who accept things
Quick to ask a question
If it sounds weird clarification
Had an opinion got blocked
Didn't mean to trigger a guilty conscience
Put out the truth it got real
Defensive liars ready to strike
Opposed for being different
Observing the situation
Analyzing the vibes

Music brings back memories
Reminded of that person
An intimate moment together
On the road a long adventure home
Songs shared among friends
Flashback to better times
Upbeat bass matches the heart
A numb soul begins to heal
Hurt filled with hopeful melodies
Feeling emotions connected to lyrics

He didn't get how people moved on right away quick to replace an old love. It's puzzling for him. He knew married people who go divorced things are not what they appear. In a loveless relationship where cheating ia allowed. Why would anyone want to share their loved one. Before they'd fight for one another. Now they gave up on what they had.
He said he loved her and ahe was quick to replace him. She loved him but he didn't feel the same way back. He didn't force it and things didn't feel right or natural. He knew her secrets she asked why he never tried. He never knew it was an option or if the thought crossed his mind.

The date ended it go weird
From friend to strangers
Love blurred with lust
Forgiveness over broken trust
Made the most of the moment
Now it's over not meant to be
Desired more hard to see
True love hard to fine
Blinded by starved emotions
Feelings of confusion from the heart

A few years out of high school they hung out in his friends car. Catching up talking everyone grew up and apart they use to be close. She always belong to someone else while they were friends.
She knew he had a crush but he was respectful of her. He had gone off to school experienced the world. She was finally single she was enjoying a few drinks and would kiss him on the cheek.
He was glad that happened but didn't take advantage since he didn't drink anymore overprotective of his sobriety.
He got lost in his mind asking questions wondering what it meant? She was finally single but he had other ideas on how things would go between them.

Said sorry and still not forgiven
Don't want to regret walking away
So much betrayal, no need to stay
Another hangout with awkward silence
Too much pride you keep blaming me
Spoke my mind said the truth
I'm not telling lies or buying the hype
or saying what you want to hear

Love yourself be kind to others
That's what make you unique
Who cares what others think
Too many people will tell you
Who they think you are
Facing egos that oppose you
Taking on assuming mouths
Ignoring bad attitudes for positive vibes
Avoiding scandalous behavior
Do good deeds help other
Treat people right with respect
Remain loyal it's a lost tradition
Be true in a world full of lies
Be selfless instead of selfish
Love with a broken heart