You do way more than the people judging your effort. I never used anyone worked hard. A drop out college anxious to go back but the way things are work is important for survival.
Busted my **** to get this current a part time guy working  fulltime then my time came and got hired fulltime. I earned it and know I can be doing more always expecting more for myself and pushing to be better.
Thankful I got appreciated for my efforts there's always a family member thats disappointed in me. I can't please everyone I'm happy with my mild achievements did it with the heart I wear on my sleeve.
I don't expect any sympathy but I won't show any emotions when it comes to those who slander my name trying to ruin my future because they choose to live in the past.
What's hard is trying to be, who I say,  I am and who I set out to be. I don't like to lie or contradict myself holding on my faith to get through this. Hard to write since I've been home recovering from the transplant I usually share what I feel from an experience or what I gained from the encounter

Talking a good friend about his plan. Ready to do more feels like it's not enough. A late start a late bloomer on the rise and on the go. His first relationship was a one nighter that got complicated. Trying to finish his degree but it finished him. Plotting to go back not over worked or burnt out. Trying to balance out coaching and get back into training made himself available which made everything seem like a waste of time.

Poetry is not dead
The beauty within
Defines the world you live in
Some days are hard
Some days are blessed
Open to grow more than the rest

Writing about things you can't talk about
Those thoughts that are stuck in a loop
Holding up the team being the guy
Not the guy because of politics
Doing the work with pride
The job goes to a kiss ***
A lead that cares about being liked
Instead of being loyal higher ups
That bad mouth slander his name
******* the people who backed him
Not one to complain doing the work
Picking up the slack disrespect is served
Respected is earn know for the work
While other has a bad rep that shadows it all

We all that family member that doesn't care how you feel or think.  Doesn't think highly of your choices or decisions.
After they bad mouth your way of life Always mad because you'd rather be your own person than follow.
Not one to follow or pretend to be cool after being insulted and disrespected.
Moving on better off alone then be filled with doubt

Watching her with another guy drove him crazy. He was hurt he didn't know how to fix it make things right. All he knew was that is over. Feeling foolish and betrayal thinking he found love. Its like they set you up and mess with your confidence. Feeling good thinking you are something you're not. Making you doubt yourself playing games because they got played. Trying to manipulate you but learned not to react give them the satisfaction. They cheated their way it will comeback to them.
The truth will come out exposing them. Working for something long term while they lie snake their way for short term.

He wanted to leave, forget this moment but it kept circling back to him. He felt free other times this death grip on his throat making it hard to breathe. He learned right away it doesn't always happened right away even though he was one that was determined to make it happen. He was one to look out for other but when he needed them they were no where to be found. He was willing to help find a solution to the problem. He enjoyed helping others but they weren't to happy or fond of him because he was private and not one to put his business out there. Most criticized him or judged him for being different. Sobriety made life easier and more clear with good judgement he took on what he could handle and what mattered. Instead of complicating things or putting himself in awkward situations it felt like they came after him. He was not one to meddle in others business unless asked. He gave advice even though they did the opposite and went back to the stuff they said they'd never do again.

Sleep deprived, waking up early to go fishing.
Wearing layers because it was a cold wet morning.
Using the fishing rods that were gifted by a coworker
Out by the lake taking in the scenery
The sun would shine nice and bright
Making the day feel right almost perfect
Hoping the fish would bite the hook
Not sure what bait best for the catch
Well prepared with variety
Casting in the line loaded with bait
Reel in to reduce the slack
Wait for the fish to bite tug on the line
Reel in the fish as they resist
Trying to escape the line breaks
The fish bite steal the bait swim away
Reeling in the fish the rod begins to bend
The fish wiggles being brought in closer
Lifted out of the water by the line grabbing the net to secure instead of dropping the catch back in the water

He didn't care for people who did drugs. It ruined his family his parents chose that over him. He seen some people choose their bad habits over their kids.
He tries to be around family but its hard everyone grew up some are sharks only nice because they need something then giving the cold shoulder.
Watching them grow up

He woke up ready to train go again. Today was Valentine's day he showed love all year he didn't need one day. He did laugh because all the girls, who said NO thought they can do better were feeling sorry for themselves. The nerve to be selective most of all be petty about being single. He called it single awareness day.

Hiding a smile because they'll come at you because they are miserable. Not welcoming or associating with toxic energy. No longer feeding into those bad vibes. Not one of them pushed out all the carnage left from stepping aside should've spoke up. It would've been a pointless conversation because their way is not right bit I'm their mind they can do no wrong. Just because they have the right to do so doesn't mean; what they are doing is right.
Got the cold shoulder the silent treatment didn't mind because it doesn't stop you from living life. They have no say or control over you because they don't agree. You don't hate them bit know how they are as they loath you for having an opinion speaking your mind.
Taking about everyone but once you call them out on their actions it becomes a debate like if it's justified. In everyone's business trying to make others look bad to feel better about themselves. They cheat the system now trying to impose their ways when you have no interest to empower their toxic ways of living.

He loved family someone was going through something
Everyone put up with it love faded
Minding his mouth it made things worse
Saying sorry was hard he was treated mean
Dealing with his feelings was like defusing a bomb
Rather than say sorry he moved on
Broken from the inside out
Didn't do wrong got attacked
Tired of arguing it was pointless
Fighting to be heard seen as the bad guy
Couldn't change their minds it was made up
The didn't respect him he stopped trying
He closed them out felt trapped inside
Wasn't going to force his way in
Not his way of life anymore
Drinking want fun all the depression
Hoping to meet someone
While settling for the wrong person
Stuck with manipulators taking him for granted
He loved family his space felt invaded
Not sure how to act and respond
Life's not hard but others complicate it
He was silent but loud in his head

He admired her beauty but wasn't sure if this friendship could be more. If he made his move it might make things awkward and end a good thing. He was known for letting his feelings get the best of him. He got emotional felt foolish and weak thinking he was an equal but no where on the level.
He was a private person seen as a bad guy because he didn't take crap from no one. He spoke up it felt like the world was against him. If he bit his tongue it would feel like the world would walk all over him.
His love was heavy and deep but his hurt was stronger empowering him to keep pursuing greatness move forward.

He was worried why are bad people who lie and cheat the system reward. While hard working people are ******* over. The people who run their mouth; don't contribute, and quick to make more problems.
We have that family member with a hunch of kids and talks like you owe them because of their bad decisions. They will hanging you by your neck if you make one mistake.
They'll judge me harder than others but expect everyone to cater to their needs when others are trying to live their life and barely getting by. Some live with their decisions and the consequences of their actions.
Don't tell anyone, how to live their life, if you dk their story,  or what they've been through. Why are these social standards Dividing people and ridiculous made up rules. Follow the law or the 10 commandments not man made BS.

Hearing a beat and my heart sings the melody
Music in my heart and soul
The family plays in a band
He loved the music while talented musicians cared more for the life style
Writing lyrics making riffs on his acoustic guitar
He heart wanted to tell stories
The mind would comprehend all those emotions
Use to travel on the road now a working adult
Feels like the world left him and moves on without him
Found love that ended due to lust
From friends to solo over broken trust
Bit his lip because his mouth led to trouble
Not saying much but all the pent up rage wants to come out
Life's not fair but most already know working through the struggle

Went to the pier to go fishing
Didn't expect to see a man die
Get gunned down by the police
Due to this incident of unfortunate events
The pier was shutdown pushed out of the crime scene
That took place on the sand near the surf event
Prayed for the man but he didn't survive
After being shot multiple times not surprised
Couldn't believe this happened in a crowded area
The tone had changed not expecting to see this insanity

Artie was at his friend's house hanging out. When his cousin showed up and said "come with me." His cousin said "your brother they shot him, he didn't make it." The world around him went dark, he couldn't hear anything.
He told his friend he was leaving, and his friend told him, "if you need anything call me."
The ride home was quiet and awkward, he didn't know, how to feel, or what to say. He wanted to cry but didn't want to be weak. He knew his tears wouldn't bring back his brother. Things would never be the same it was a dark time.
Many factors chipped away at his heart and spirit. During this his mom would act the fool being intoxicated acting the fool. Making it about herself she had other child.
He knew it was difficult for a parent to bury their child but her bad behavior did not help. It would lead to her losing her children. Taken away by social workers and they were placed in a foster home. Divided ending up with family members.
Artie was the oldest pursuing his college education would be distracted not able to focus or concentrate.
His family divided in a relationship with a person; who was not the one, but he was one of many.
He felt his life was coming together but eventually crumbled down. He would survive being better than where he came from. Even though his hometown was part of his heart. He wanted to start over new escape this nightmare be free from it all. Have a normal family whatever that is. Be in love a relationship with the right person. He prayed to be free of the blame he placed on himself.

At the gym clearing this mind
Full of ideas that are ignored
Living with betrayal
Always honest recieving lies
Did the work got demoted
The drama not my problem
Stuck in the middle
Recieving the backlash
Made it fun now it's lost value
Instead of forward went back a few steps

He was pursuing her, she gave him the run around. He had to cut ties move on. They talk about dating but she was always busy. It was one sided he'd text her and she'd never respond or left him hanging.
He knew his worth and value tired of settling because it was pointless. She got his hopes up then got his feelings hurt. Thinking this would be different it ended up being worse.
Used his time and energy pursuing his goals learning bass guitar and doing MMA getting the technique down. Working out those kinks to be a better person.

No one wanted it now everyone is ******* he went for it.
No one took a chance or opportunity he went for it all everyone did was talk
He was a doer not into talking anymore
Always supportive and respectful of others
They were quick to slander him and expected him to fail
He'd separate himself being sober was the best thing but it led him towards being isolated
His mental health became a priority not listening to people
He was doing it the nerve of them to criticize
All the people talking didn't do anything staying within their limitations
Working harder doing more than most what did they know.
He did the work and results showed all they did was talk full of excuses he was over it

Breaking free from this fake person's crap
Gave then too much power going numb
Showing no emotions blocked it out
No longer empowering what hurts
Finding strength else where able to feel
Going where it's worthy as a whole
The emotional time blocking it out
Valued by peers that have more going on
Changing how things get done
Never the same rid of this draining pain
Made it fun once again with a smile
Made it to the end mild achievement

Not always going to be liked
Not always going to agree
had an opinion, and now everyone is mad
told the truth, now you're holding a grudge
looked out for you now you're coming at me
I wish we could coexist
Talk be civilized find a common ground
Instead of going at one another

Never cared for political views
Respect everyones faith and beliefs
Be a good person treat one another right
The community divided more than ever
It's not about being right anymore
Build trust with vulnerability
Try to understand different perspectives
But doing the right thing be better
Instead of united being supportive
The imposition causing hate to rise
Have an opinion gets you attacked
Stay silence the internal turmoil burns

Always at work the fear of missing out
Once he was there felt like he didn't belong
Everyone is older wondering where the time went
Letting go of the childhood trauma no longer a road block
Escaping the fear of failed relationships
Moving onto new ideas meeting new people is hard
It's easy to have a fling better to get to know a person.
It's hard to open up when everyone is closed off
Accepting others that are quick to assume  change you refusing to change themselves
Had it all and lost it all lots of transition over time

Hung with an old coworker pretending to be an adult figure quick to tell him what he's doing wrong. Pointing out his flaws bringing up topics from the past. He escaped there was no going back it was over that chapter of his life.
Bringing up the old lead a guy who didn't do anything but pawn his work out on others. Then take the credit like he did it pretending to be a somebody over a job title that made him useless.
He transferred moved onto a new location. He didn't care for drama so he was alone. Blessed thankful he was financially well off.
He tried to put himself first but wasn't conceited about it. He knew people didn't like him. He didn't say anything and still got hatred if he spoke his mind everyone was ******.
Trying to meet his social obligations a year after being exclude it got easy for him to be alone.

All the rage within is tiring
Spoke up told the truth honestly
Seen as crazy overreacting
Made eye contact the look of anger
Avoid eye contact made out to be afraid
Insulted by the lies seeking the truth
Odds against your determination
Trying to even it out push out corruption
Life lessons are hard to learn against evil
Discrimination regardless of medical status

He was friends with the errie darkness
His heart was feeling the soothing cold
Taking in the deep silence feeling relaxed
Away from the world that rejected him
Walking through the life alone
Told never go against the family the family that betrayed his trust
The black sheep that go disrespected
Writing about those who wronged him
Being honest with liars and cheaters
Saw good in others They proved him wrong
Getting older seeing things differently
Looking out for others
The cheater tries to talk to you about  being loyal
They'll gaslight you easier to walk away

He showed up giving his all
Trying to make a difference
Giving his all with limited time
Covering their *** expecting it done
Not caring about him or his schedule
Life outside of work his struggle
All the pain caused taking its toll
On other work relationships
Usually reliable loves the site
Now in an awkward situation
Made moves exploring new areas
Now stuck limited movement

You create a new way of doing things
It clashes with the old way of life
Far from the past, but it's well known
Scared of the future unknown territory
Not knowing what's next, a clear mind
Afraid to fail one-shot opportunity
Holding onto what's left is a fight
Lost so much overtime, never again
Old friends fade away, memories
Scared to start over somewhere new
Not sure where to start anymore
Bounced back many times before
Faced those fears inflated with hype
Taking on maniputive egos
Toxic mouths continue to run
Eventually, signing a death wish

Some of his family had some nerve to talk about people. Some people treat one another bad how are they still together what's worse is they bring children into this word.
From starting things to playing the victim. Everyone was to blame but never owned up for the wrongs. In a failing relationship because the fear of being alone. Tired of being torn down ripped apart.