Not always liked or a favorite had an opinion why does it need to be explained while some spew out none sense that doesn't make sense. Stopped talking jokes turn into criticism everything becomes to real and personal. Can't joke or play all the double standards get it worse than the rest. Ready for the consequences thought about it not giving them a reason to speak. Had to cut the cord stopped empowering the wickedness. Everyone is ******* you getting punked by someone worse.

He didn't want to argue or fight with anyone anymore. It doesn't have to be this way not holding a grudge or mad just trying to live and enjoy life.
All the physical and mental pain was enough trying to heal be better. No more childhood pain just moving forward away from the hurt. Not in that place or that person anymore. Cutting away the toxic letting go of those stuck on the past.
Releasing the dead weight since its not helping but holding you down stuck in the same old place. Slow progress is better than staying still.
Recycled thoughts reworded hoping to encourage inspire others. Another way other chances opportunities instead of the same false hope expecting change while working for new onto fresh new perspectives experiences gains from new encounters.

He admired her beauty but wasn't sure if this friendship could be more. If he made his move it might make things awkward and end a good thing. He was known for letting his feelings get the best of him. He got emotional felt foolish and weak thinking he was an equal but no where on the level.
He was a private person seen as a bad guy because he didn't take crap from no one. He spoke up it felt like the world was against him. If he bit his tongue it would feel like the world would walk all over him.
His love was heavy and deep but his hurt was stronger empowering him to keep pursuing greatness move forward.

Avoiding that wicked person who always complained trying to take others down because life is miserable. Always negative over dumb things they are that petty.
They are fake to your face while talking about you behind your back. Giving an opinion no one asked.
Talking like they are a somebody but really a nobody pretending to be a somebody. Talking so much they believe their own lies and will go against you if you question them or challenge their way of thinking. They won't just attack you their try to erase your existence.
He didn't like those kind of people what ***** most was he had family members that behaved this way. It was terrible behavior that inexcusable.
He learned to be honest and to treat people right. He got quiet and walked away from the pain all the frustration that would ruin his day.

The things you fight for when you have to give them up is one of the tough decisions to make.
The stuff you go through for it but do you really need it sometimes it's worth it other times it's a huge waste of time.
Doing it was a process but worth it after it was all said and done.
Things changed what felt right doesn't provide the satisfaction or gratification.
Move on to something new because growth is always occuring.

An older mind full of growth
An older body wear and tear
Doing what you love times have changed
Trying to bend limited flexibility
Holding back with strength
Going through the motions
Focused on technique slowing down
Taking on a younger athlete
Heavy handed being responsible
Learning to hold back get better
Be smarter and wiser on defense
Hoping for a mistake to get the move
Escape the submission find wiggle room

He wanted to leave, forget this moment but it kept circling back to him. He felt free other times this death grip on his throat making it hard to breathe. He learned right away it doesn't always happened right away even though he was one that was determined to make it happen. He was one to look out for other but when he needed them they were no where to be found. He was willing to help find a solution to the problem. He enjoyed helping others but they weren't to happy or fond of him because he was private and not one to put his business out there. Most criticized him or judged him for being different. Sobriety made life easier and more clear with good judgement he took on what he could handle and what mattered. Instead of complicating things or putting himself in awkward situations it felt like they came after him. He was not one to meddle in others business unless asked. He gave advice even though they did the opposite and went back to the stuff they said they'd never do again.

Everyday a fight to be heard
A struggle to be seen as an equal
Being kept out and silenced
An internal struggle within
A loud mind a quiet mouth
Words flow out with emotions
A way of expression able to feel
That love was an addiction
All the hurt is healing up
Found inner peace and closure
Learned to go with out
Not be included
Do your own thing
Its okay to be alone

He was a kind heart with a witty sense of humor
Most didn't get him so he came off as socially awkward
Trying to bless an ego ruins the good deed
Some try to control others by breaking them down
A helping others is a blessing but asking for help is hard
That feeling when a person collect acting like you owe them
Owning you because a favor is needed
Hurt because something serious was seen as a vacation
Seeing good in a person trusting them to find out you're wrong

Hearing a beat and my heart sings the melody
Music in my heart and soul
The family plays in a band
He loved the music while talented musicians cared more for the life style
Writing lyrics making riffs on his acoustic guitar
He heart wanted to tell stories
The mind would comprehend all those emotions
Use to travel on the road now a working adult
Feels like the world left him and moves on without him
Found love that ended due to lust
From friends to solo over broken trust
Bit his lip because his mouth led to trouble
Not saying much but all the pent up rage wants to come out
Life's not fair but most already know working through the struggle

Hiding a smile because they'll come at you because they are miserable. Not welcoming or associating with toxic energy. No longer feeding into those bad vibes. Not one of them pushed out all the carnage left from stepping aside should've spoke up. It would've been a pointless conversation because their way is not right bit I'm their mind they can do no wrong. Just because they have the right to do so doesn't mean; what they are doing is right.
Got the cold shoulder the silent treatment didn't mind because it doesn't stop you from living life. They have no say or control over you because they don't agree. You don't hate them bit know how they are as they loath you for having an opinion speaking your mind.
Taking about everyone but once you call them out on their actions it becomes a debate like if it's justified. In everyone's business trying to make others look bad to feel better about themselves. They cheat the system now trying to impose their ways when you have no interest to empower their toxic ways of living.

He didn't care for people who did drugs. It ruined his family his parents chose that over him. He seen some people choose their bad habits over their kids.
He tries to be around family but its hard everyone grew up some are sharks only nice because they need something then giving the cold shoulder.
Watching them grow up

We all that family member that doesn't care how you feel or think.  Doesn't think highly of your choices or decisions.
After they bad mouth your way of life Always mad because you'd rather be your own person than follow.
Not one to follow or pretend to be cool after being insulted and disrespected.
Moving on better off alone then be filled with doubt

Always opent to change
Someone is always hating
Dress up seen as a sell out
Under dress seen as a ***
Never lazy earning the keep
Doing the job with pride
Said it couldn't be done
Pushing through the crazy
Been here before standing tall
Doesn't phase the thick skin
Live and learn with age
Meant to grow can't stay small
Big personality against an ego
Once you give up walk away
Turned your back on the hater
They try to slander your name
Your rep is worse can't bring shame

Always trying my to blend in
But end up standing out
Trying to be mindful keep the peace
The silence causes a mouthful
Coming up with new material
Over the internal struggle within
Focused on bettering the situation
Improve with personal growth
A new perspective on life
Stopped feeling into the bad
Focused on what's right
Not wasting time anymore
Taking on the hurt as punishment
Learn the lesson grow into better
Over lowering myself to be accepted
Good vibes on the rise big brown eyes
Focused on doing more making it happen

Pushing back against the lies
Being mentally abused by opposers
Emotionally scared opening his heart
Physically exhausted coming up short
Busting his **** still denied his efforts
Told the truth seen as crazy out of line
Had an opinion considered delusional
In the trenches doing the hard work
Others observe trying to sabotage
With the team taking on the pressure

Please and thank you can go a long way while so many entitled try to take what does not belong to them. Some work hard put in time, so many try to walk all over everyone. Learning the value of a dollar, every cent earned worth all the physical labor that went into it. Giving everything because things need to be done tired of all the complaining by the lazy workers that still manage to be bitter.

I respect your title wheres the worth ethic
Don't knock my hard work
You have a title it means nothing
Since you have no respect for the team
Blame last minute communication
Don't bring me down meant for more
Fighting for mine quick to square up
Squash this beef Don't care for drama
Since you chose to settle Gave up
Did the work quick to cut off liars
Turned my back betrayals not welcomed
Not looking ahead living in the moment
Spoke up got ignored its crumbling down
Now smiling in silence rising up

Writing about it not in that place anymore. Growing up out growing the past. Life is a ride that won't let up going fast.
From missing an ex to asking what's next? Worried about being broke now worried when will it happen?
Why hasn't it happened yet. Trying to live life not in regret so much frustration, and disrespect.
Picking up the slack tired and sore crazy enough to comeback for more. Talking to a girl that shows no interest. Wasting time trying to find common ground. Both from different lives and wanting different things for themselves. Sometimes she's open other times says nothing and not bothering with anyone.
Work is not hard but when people miss you have to dig down deep do the extra and try to balance out energy. Some care too much while others don't care of give a ****.
Trying to stay positive be well rounded instead of closed off and shutting down with irritation caused by all the detours and setbacks. Someday you want to scream and quit others take a breath and get it done.

Talking a good friend about his plan. Ready to do more feels like it's not enough. A late start a late bloomer on the rise and on the go. His first relationship was a one nighter that got complicated. Trying to finish his degree but it finished him. Plotting to go back not over worked or burnt out. Trying to balance out coaching and get back into training made himself available which made everything seem like a waste of time.

When family bickers and complains
Don't want to bump heads deal with egos
Always the guy but never in the position to be that guy
Thankful to be working
Only when they need something the go to guy
Most of the time he gets ignored feeling like an outcast
Not the flashy guy but the guy who worked for it

Been bossing it up working for it. Not always going to be liked, or the favorite. Not about being right but doing what's right. Seen pride before my eyes an older man not asking for help but had the help.
The younger crowd had no problem helping. Even if he did talk down to them and act like everything evolved around him. Making example of others instead of leading by example.
The worker took pride in his work and didn't like to be micro managed or told twice to do something that needed to be done or got done.

Every word written
Knocking out the bad
Someone is always hating
No reason to be mad it's normal
Let them focus on being great
Told you you're no good
Turns out they are doing worse
Valuing life feeling worth more
While they care about money
It's never enough with the greed
Helping loved ones doing good deeds
From close to distant barely talking
Sobered up now trying to do right
You mad can't go without that fix
Two kids focused on those bad habits
Love them like my own be better
Get your head out of your ***
Listen for the popping sound
When you pull it out
Sat on the side lines pondering
Things seem to get worse overtime
People setting only for their gain
Not about the family selfish ways
Sad how they talk about everyone
No one is talking about them
Made it about them again

You do way more than the people judging your effort. I never used anyone worked hard. A drop out college anxious to go back but the way things are work is important for survival.
Busted my **** to get this current a part time guy working  fulltime then my time came and got hired fulltime. I earned it and know I can be doing more always expecting more for myself and pushing to be better.
Thankful I got appreciated for my efforts there's always a family member thats disappointed in me. I can't please everyone I'm happy with my mild achievements did it with the heart I wear on my sleeve.
I don't expect any sympathy but I won't show any emotions when it comes to those who slander my name trying to ruin my future because they choose to live in the past.
What's hard is trying to be, who I say,  I am and who I set out to be. I don't like to lie or contradict myself holding on my faith to get through this. Hard to write since I've been home recovering from the transplant I usually share what I feel from an experience or what I gained from the encounter

Writing about the arguments in his head. Things he wish he said or should've said. He was part of a group of rejects a leader; who got no respect. A number 2 guy who got mistreated but a great worker. The number 3 guy in the group was a wild card who hard working took charge of his area and time. The fourth member has yet to be hired. The sub is a fit but will the district hire this person who filled that void.
This team was younger some had health issues but the insurance would resolve the conflict. The boss let them do the work and didn't get on anyone's case. Everyone was willing to do the work just needed to have the right tools to get the job done.

A Friday night as a teen going to the video store to get a movies and a game for Nintendo 64. An evening with the family then order pizza. Watching movies on vhs   that would later becoming DVD. Playing video games with friends and siblings. It got extremely competitive playing Golden Eye or Mario Kart. Video games use to be fun now a days it's a job to complete a mission.
Use to be confused when my dad would say it use to be better before. Trying to stay modern but everyone is asking what's next instead of making the most of things. Before the internet was an escape but now a days it's become a reality for some.
I remember calling people to make plans chat it up now a days people text and still don't connect so much miscommunication. How do you get to know a person if they won't open up or won't give you a chance because of the assumptions made. Trying to hold onto what is know but losing yourself to keep up.

An old lead leaving the burden on the up and comers thinking they are doomed but will eventually learn its part of the job. So many want power but don't teach anyone anything so that they could superior.
Everyone wants a job but no one wants to work. Times are changing so has work etiquette most want more money for doing less. While others making top dollar don't care to work dumping it on others.
A leader is someone who helps and in the trenches not redirecting everyone with more responsibilities and everything becomes inconvenient

Watching her with another guy drove him crazy. He was hurt he didn't know how to fix it make things right. All he knew was that is over. Feeling foolish and betrayal thinking he found love. Its like they set you up and mess with your confidence. Feeling good thinking you are something you're not. Making you doubt yourself playing games because they got played. Trying to manipulate you but learned not to react give them the satisfaction. They cheated their way it will comeback to them.
The truth will come out exposing them. Working for something long term while they lie snake their way for short term.