He sat in his closet writing about the world he once knew. A life he use to live thought about going back. He wanted to finish his education a college drop out that became a custodian. He use to be a team player now he's a rebellious lover who doesn't bother with anyone.
Working hard to better his situation make his grandparents proud he owed that to them. They believed in him when he didn't believe in himself. He thought about what he wanted to major in what would make him happy and doing what he loves. He was always open to adjust and adapt on whatever he was doing

The 10 hour shifts got to him he wasn't surprised anymore. He just stopped caring and did what needed to be done. The language barrier kept him out but he made the most of the situation. He'd rather work than pretend to understand what everyone was saying but after a while he stopped caring. He went numb the people he valued made him feel like nobody.
Another day of proving himself and not backing down. He made it fun made the most of things now a days it didn't matter just get it done and go home. From being fun to being mocked not able to do anything. He got quiet and let them talk eventually those mouthy people would get caught up in their own foolishness.
The numb mind blocked it out feeling nothing showing no emotions. It was all his he took instead of waiting for it to circle back around. Everyone talked big but no one did anything about it.

That safe space was the great escape
Hated being home too much hurt
The track focused on health
Away from it all love family
Tired of the arguing profanity
Felt unworthy doing so much
An older brother not a parent
Siblings full of hostility
Parents refusing to grow up
Couldn't stay down or live this way
Meant for more stuck settling for less
Pursued more came up short
With a new world comes a new mindset
Old ways of life clashing with the new
Trying new things forgetting the old

Why are you so negative? You push people away? You are a good person but you let your temper get the best of you. Always busting mine but you are never satisfied with anything. You make faces and rude, I understand you are upset but if you don't communicate I can't fix the problem don't be fake to my face that's where I draw the line don't tell me one thing and say another to other people. I respect you have seniority but don't act like you don't your job perfect. Everyone makes mistakes has bad days. We are suppose to be a team everyone wants to take the credit and throw the blame my way. I'm still new but learning not afraid to try and fail because that's how you get better. Being part time does **** but I work like a full time person because I want it and make sure they notice when I'm gone. I respect everyone's opinion and situation what annoys me most is how no one says it to their face. How they bad mouth each other but don't bother to talk it out. No one owns up but blames and points the finger. I work to be among the group but I don't belong I already accepted that not trying to please anyone just focus on work get it done and go home. It's been frustrating because I can be somewhere else or go somewhere different be happy instead of dealing with attitudes and egos. It's Friday enjoy the weekend back to the grind monday.

They believe the lies and deny the truth
No one cares till it's about them
No respect or regards for others unless they agree
Once they oppose they impose
No one wants to be wrong or admit a mistake
Everyone thinks they are right even when they have no clue
Learn to understand before making changes
Don't judge because of circumstance people change
Most set in their ways most change if they want to but most won't

When it was over
Couldn't think of anyone else
Moving on felt wrong
But it was the right thing to do
Lots of self destruction
Trying to end the pain
Making it worse not any better
All new encounter being heart broken
A bad experience from her love
The red flags ignored burning fire
Her bad vibes and attitude desired

Seeing the world through yellow eyes
Losing weight too rapid
Not losing faith staying strong
Trying to remain in control
Losing a grip on reality
Things went bad but better now
Skin looking orange remaining humble
All the things you want to do
Before it's too late fighting till the end
Don't let others dictate your fate
Analyzed every scenario possible
Doesn't matter just be in the moment
Doing it makes possibilities
Take a risk and chance on yourself
With or without support chase the dream
Keep progressing the heart filled with joy
Don't let it become cold as stone
A free thinker not imprisoned by old traditions
Modern day ideals are road block
Will not corrupt your genuineness

He wanted to make changes someone always deflated his ego. He's not always liked took risks win or fail he did more than most. He wanted to be more tired of settling for less. He dram big and he hurt others to chase a dream. Worked harder than others so he could move up no one was happy for him.
They robbed him of his pride and joy all his efforts felt useless losing meaning and purpose. Trying to stay in tact but crumbling within

Writing at work during the down time
Never the same looking forward
Watched them grow old full of life
As they watched us grow up
Thankful for them now missing them
Hard to let go when you're not ready
Don't want to say goodbye
Everyday still in denial
Seen it with theses eyes
Till we meet again for eternity

Always opent to change
Someone is always hating
Dress up seen as a sell out
Under dress seen as a ***
Never lazy earning the keep
Doing the job with pride
Said it couldn't be done
Pushing through the crazy
Been here before standing tall
Doesn't phase the thick skin
Live and learn with age
Meant to grow can't stay small
Big personality against an ego
Once you give up walk away
Turned your back on the hater
They try to slander your name
Your rep is worse can't bring shame

A young child watch his parents be consumed
One on drugs while the other an alcoholic
Both with bad habits that would cause a broken home
The week would be fine and he dreaded the weekend
Pay day so this addictive cycle would take its toll on the family
People change under the influence a child watching these behaviors took away from childhood
Feeling useless and not able to help but blaming himself because of his parents even though he did nothing wrong
Worried for them made it hard to focus that he didn't like being home
He got involved with sports even though it was too expensive once season ended
He discovered the track challenged him to get those laps in
His best friend and him would go everyday being in high school self conscience even though all their life they had been heavy set
He jogged the track imagined him going somewhere better different outside his home town things never changed in his city
The more he worried the more he appreciated the track
At the end of the night he'd get home and knock out hard since when I didn't exercise it made sleep hard to do
He knew there was more out there and experienced it
Sharing his world with others wishing they could go see what his eyes saw
His world welcomed everyone even though it was hard for others to accept
He wanted to change the world make a difference but can't carry the burden of the world anymore
Dealing with his own demons that tormented him

We both wanted different things
What I liked you hated and chose not to understand
I would drop everything for you and you would not bother with me
I had your back you never had mine
Just because we are blood doesn't make us family
If I got close you pushed me away now I'm not wasting my time you are mad holding a grudge
It took a while to realize you are not good for me and let go moved on
I've changed many times but you are never happy with yourself so I stopped lowering myself to be accepted I love myself but you expect me to be someone new and you'll never change being the same old you. I helped you and you treated me so cruel. Once I said NO I became the enemy all the good deeds forgotten no you see me deep down to the core as rotten.

They have you nothing now they are mad you made the most of everything. Once you start bettering yourself they don't want you doing better than them. Anything you do bothers them no one cares or paying attention to them. They keep talking just keep ignoring them don't react because once you give them attention it ends up being a waste of your time.
It will fuel them to talk since they haven't done anything relavent.
Just keep doing your own thing from the bottom to the top don't stop. After being denied all you could do is keep working for it.

He gave his all thinking it would lead to more he always gave more effort than most. Trying to make something out of nothing. He admired her but she was hot and cold. Feeling overwhelmed staying away. He hated hiding his feelings but he didn't feel valued or respect.
It should be equal but it's always with terms and conditions. It just got old he'd  walk away do his own thing. He use to open up buy others made it seem like he was trying too hard or feeling sorry for himself.

Tired of arguing with family
Why can't we get along
Stop holding grudges
Why is it hard to say sorry
Why can't it be easy to forgive
Holding a grudge is easier
An excuse to be bias made a target
Justify the bad behavior doing wrong
All the misconduct needs to stop
Alienated for being different
One opinion doesn't matter
Trying to influence others perspective
Making allies against a common enemy
Taking a breath composing yourself older
Some never change remaining the same
Forgiving is easier than holding a grudging
Letting go instead of holding onto the bad
An open mind in a world of negativity
Staying loyal and true to family even through the dark times

Feels like something is wrong
Haven't done anything extreme
A pause for the cause diverse emotions
Trying to relax recover from the stress
Bring good vibes wrestling with bad thoughts
Did the work scared to come up short
Made the wrong right crippled feelings
Fearing a negative outcome
Taking on more overwhelming frustration
Riding out most of the struggle
Protecting others from crazy
Those blindsides are the worse
Unexpected feeling rejected
Remained loyal disrespect

They went to high school together
He had a crush but never a chance
Giving her the nickname big head
She always had a BF never be single
The week of heading off to college
He wanted to kiss her make his move
Instead of taking action he asked
He ran into her she was grown
She wore overalls and a sweater
That's what he remembered most
Now a mom that's her child twin
Crossing paths not sure what think
How to feel those distant emotions
Both leading different lives departing

Always trying my to blend in
But end up standing out
Trying to be mindful keep the peace
The silence causes a mouthful
Coming up with new material
Over the internal struggle within
Focused on bettering the situation
Improve with personal growth
A new perspective on life
Stopped feeling into the bad
Focused on what's right
Not wasting time anymore
Taking on the hurt as punishment
Learn the lesson grow into better
Over lowering myself to be accepted
Good vibes on the rise big brown eyes
Focused on doing more making it happen

Tough times with family someone is always mad or holding a grudge. Hard to communicate everyone is right with their pride and ego. Not accepted or listening anymore. Branched out trying to associate with the right. Instead of welcoming the wrong. Open to change without denying ones self for others. Find a way to improve go forward without taking steps back.

Thinking about running
An older body competing
Comparing youth to now
Before was easier
Recovery came quicker
Now a days sleeping wrong
Can lead to great soreness
Can't say anymore better at doing
Didn't like limits pushed through
An internal struggle knowing
Being able to do so without limits
Waking the inner athlete
Pushing through an older mindset
Able to work with around limitations

He stood in the room with his oppressors
Not listening or interested in their opinion
He didn't acknowledge them because they shut him out
Trying to tell him how to act and who to be
When he did nothing wrong
This wasn't the first time
He never said anything about them
They called him ghetto and delusional
He forgave them this time he'd cut the cord
He learned his lesson this time around
They didn't talk to him he was use to being ignored
He was use to their worse so he wasn't surprised anymore
They had way more going on it didn't make sense why they came at him
They never helped quick to make things seem worse than what they are

They looked down on him when he was broke. He said one day he'll make good money and be more successful than them. His hard work and dedication was paying, which made him happy.
Saying one day he'll be someone because they made him feel like a nobody. Like he wasn't good enough. It made him strong and tougher than the rest.
He didn't expect a handout, or want others to invest in him. He had to invest himself work harder to get closer to his dream. Push through crazy to get closer to achieving his goals. Sad he lost people along the way, if they were true, and loyal they wouldn't of gone anywhere.
He was always loving and supportive happy for others because he seen them as people; who made it, but it was never enough for them.
The day he turned his back was the day he couldn't take the criticism anymore. They insulted him by thinking their way was the right way when he believed in God's way and plan because he failed and made many mistakes doing things his way.
Why would he trust their way some success, and material possessions didn't make them better people, or accomplished. It's about how you treat and help others that made a difference. Trying to be the person he needed growing up.

She asked him why did you stop talking to me? He responded because when I first started talking to you I seen someone unique and special. Now that I know you you're a follower listening to your friends. I thought you had your own opinion and views. Who are you and what have you? become I was deceived.  I seen you as someone else and I was wrong. Didn't mean to place a false narrative on you.
I showed interest you ignored me and once you found out I was older you treated me different definitely not mad but wasn't going to play these games. Then tried to pass me off on one of your horrible friends that tried to be controlling wasting more of my time.
I said you are a friend then got mad because I put you in the friend zone. Acting offended and upset when you already said there wasn't a chance of anything when you clearly made up your mind. I respected your decision by moving on now you talk about how this went wrong

Sorry still living with the guilt
Ignored by people excluded by many
Be part of something fit in for once
A lost man finding away to resolve peace
Hurt his best friend over a girl
Been hurt by a formal friend
Hard to make the wrong right
Wanting to be forgiven another
Hard to forgive other no do overs
Reached out got ignored gave too much
Let it go now getting all the blame
Trying too hard never good enough
Stopped caring let it go
Had to restrain get over it
Lack of communication
Many assumptions are made

Being told not to complain not taking crap from anyone. Dealing with people who tried to shadow him. He didn't like how they tried to turn everyone on him because they couldn't get their way.
All the betrayal all the disrespect when he stood his ground the hatred great. He went along to keep the peace but part of him would die being among their ways. He didn't care to feel their egos or let take his kindness for granted.
He waa never called just to keep contact only when they needed something or they didn't bother with him. He loved family but tired of seen everyone being used and talked about. They think they are right because they own property how they treat people says more.
He stood alone lost in translation ready to argue and fight but remember he had nothing to gain and they had nothing to offer so he walked away. He regrets making time for them thinking theyd approve maybe accept him.

Find faith over all the hate
Positive living over all the negativity
People make choices and upset their rep is shadowing
Sometimes you can prove them wrong
But choose to live up to that hype
All the judgement cast on others comes back to you
Total opposites classing one chooses to work and do everything possible
The other with a title doesn't make anything a priority
Getting ******* over not bothering with taking on the burdens anymore
Never cared for the social politics focused on the work

He lived on the ghetto side of town; working hard to barely get by. While she was born privileged without a worry. She always had her way, and never heard "no". She was always given opportunity; while he was fighting to fit in; survive in a tough cruel world.
Her family said, "she could be, and do anything." While his parents told him he was a no body and would not amount to anything. Who knew two people from different worlds would cross paths. He dreamed of being more, and wanted to do great things.
Their first encounter was at a college party, she didn't find him attractive but she did admire his honesty. No one ever called her on her crap, she was wrong but always justified it. He would not let her pull the wool over his eyes.
He was not one to fall in love when he loved and it failed he hit rock bottom hard. She would try to restore his faith in love but he was too stubborn in love with someone else. She wanted to help not quick to give up on people. Her fight for him to love her was a tough conquest since she made up her mind and knew what she wanted.

Jab with lead had and reset
Power hand thrown and reset
Shift to the left out of the pipe
Shift to the right step throw a jab
Recoil and unload the hook
Weight shift to distribute power
Lower level explode up
Throw the the uppercut
So much to work on
Technique is keep to improving
Foot placement forward back
L step cause separation
Holding pads drilling through
Repetition going through the motions

Running to first base and pulled a hammy
Played strong pitched getting outs
Caught pop flies and pegged a player
Kickball to give the team a chance
Usually get creamed playing softball
The inner athlete wants out
Mind filled youthful thoughts
An aching body with limits
Holds the breaks no hate focused on doing great things

Learning to forgive is hard
Grew up around rude people
Most Never apologized
You apologized never forgiven
Being drained turns to shutting down
The anxiety clouds judgement
Stress makes it hars to focus
Thoughts looping seeking justification
Playing scenarios possible outcomes
Usually another ending occurs
Trying to prepare lighten the blow
Never expect what could be
Aftermath could amount to nothing

Being called crazy for having a dream only you can see it makes sense in your mind. Having an opinion being different seen as delusional. They aren't helping anyone but themselves why are they talking.
You forgive them and move on because those burdens weigh down your heart. Give yourself peace and closure over holding a grudge. Reading the bible helps fill the empty within. Loving them even if they don't love you back. Staying strong moving through the bad everything will be okay get better. Praying for them because they are set in their ways. Trying to do things with God's way trust the plan. The internal struggle and faith find balance

He enjoyed work made the most of it
Conversations with older individuals
Wisdom gained from every encounter
Fun stories shared don't fit in anymore
Everything changed got worse lost value
The people who made it work are gone
Now the lazy try to undo all the good
The high standards are now lowered
Trying to keep the rich history preserved
While the bad leads try to erase history