Whats the problem? What's on your mind? Questions I've been asking myself. How can I do this better. Focused more on improving bettering your situation. Getting older feels like lots of time being wasted about to turn 40. Young at heart with the old man mentality.
Having a good time remembering the good old days. Lost in the present fear of the unknown. Taking it one day at a time not overthinking.
Slowing down remaining calm the athlete within refusing quit. A fighter with all heart that got him through the tough training and hard moments. Head down plow through the roadblocks

He was a rebel stood alone
Who listened to punk rock
Being the voice of reason
Usually too on the burdens
Everyone ran from or avoided
Spoke up someone was mad
Easily offended called on it
He held them accountable
While they blamed everyone
Wasn't easy to manipulate
Questioned the BS shook things up
Not always liked or a favorite
He was seen as a threat made a target
Going along not taking the nonsense
Doing what needed to be done
Didn't seek or need approval

He took pride walking into enemy camp now a days he prefers to be alone writing and listening to music. He'd like friends but thankful for the few loyal ones he has. He could be himself open up vent without his feelings being ignored or belittled since he was okay being vulnerable while others seen him as weak and preyed on his because they assumed he wouldn't do anything. Trying to relax is hard so much on the mind. Overwhelmed too much at once thinking about dating, after being in failed relationships learning to be alone. loving yourself after feeling unworthy devalued being with the wrong person.
Failed friendships all the gossip when he told them straight up. Everything came around when he called them on it they had the nerve to be upset trying to flip the script. He valued them and they trashed him that's what hurt the most.
He worked hard flustered they hired the lazy guy over him. He hung in there toughed it out worked harder asking if he was in the right place or was it time for him to move on. He love the community of people learned so much because he was open to learn and grow.
His dreams made sense to him while others caller him crazy. Saying no one like him can do it so it made him want it more. He never wanted to give up, who he was to be accepted told himself make the most of things even if they ****. Make it better, don't settle for less make the most of what is given.
Always willing to adjust to the encounter adapt to the situation. Pondering the next move brainstorming ideas

always been a lover in a deep fight
Minding this mouth, that's why I write
I don't need your approval LMB (let me be)
I'm never going to compromise myself
Give up on myself to be liked to be accepted
Friends become enemies left in the past
I'll always love family but doing my own thing
It's sad how tragedy brings everyone together
Grandpa was the glue I love and miss you
Now everyone is divided, holding a grudge
I've never been a materialistic one to help others
Always valued family time now
It's always awkward from traditions to an emotionless gesture

Arms are heavy Hard to breathe
Feel like stone limited movement
Fighting back trying not to overreact
Pressing forward not backing down
Trying to change it up burnt up
Going the distance o much resistance
Giving your all in offense
Trying to time it out on offense
Finding another window for the round

Rich or poor doesn't matter when you dk who you are anymore
Love and live life Sometimes you fail and wander lost not my cause
Keep trying but so far from where I set out to be
They want you to argue for them but they are the ones talking about you
My skin color doesn't come with a stereotype
My reality is not taboo my way of life is changing from child to man
My *** and gender are not to keep me superior
Don't care for labels
My beliefs and religion are not the same

Onto a new chapter seeing the world differently. Can't be selfish kiddos first family first. Trying to invest and make money off things I love. Watching it go on with out you missing it the transition from athlete to a responsible adult. A role model by default willing to step it up. learning about yourself able to cope and grow

Trying to understand their logic
Putting myself in the situation
Using my imagination
Never been one to hate
Everyone is different for a reason
Not comparing myself to anyone
Working to better my situation
No time for criticism or negativity
Walked aways from toxic people
Had to cut the cord losing connection
Family loves not healthy too many terms
Conditions to be accepted dieing inside
Turned down personality usually charged
Diluted feelings to be accepted
Emotions ignored by double standards
The souls glow being dimmed by attitude
Fall in place destroy by hostile anger
Your character will be slandered
Evil trying to erase your existence
Being isolated no control of others narrative
Doesn't hurt use to being alone
Alive and well its close go home
A disrespectful mouth crosses boundaries
Getting out of line is dangerous comfort
Eventually pushing everyone away
Time will shift in shift in the favor of good

A broken soul trying to heal
Struggle within dealing with change
Sometimes its not for the better
Stuck with the worse
Trying to be better
Wanting the best got less
Stuck with others problems
Working with what's given
Back and forth with emotions
Writing to cope with feelings
Gave that up not going back
Never again now facing it
Prefer to not be around it

The look of anger and frustration became a common thing now a days. He asked them to not do something they did it anyway. He wasn't trying to pull rank but looked out.
Not his place to say but did want to be fair even though some think the rules don't apply to them. They didn't listen and they expect him to give in their ways and support their bad habits.
He loved to drink but didn't want to hear about bad relationships. It turned into pounding and chugging he just wanted a buzz.
He didn't care for the crowd even though it was family lots of talk and nothing got done. He was doing because wanted it most of trying to get it done and done right.

They told him it was pride he forgave them and moved on. They kept it up all the bad attitudes and mouthing people behind their back. He told them straight up to their face he wasn't running but when he stood up against them, they knew they had no power or say over him.  
He moved in the light while they'd sneak around in the darkness. He wasn't afraid of the dark it was second nature.

It would never be a one on one. They'll slander his name bad mouth his reputation trying to influence others to see the worse when they dk him. That's why he chose to be a lone wolf not able to trust anyone over all the lies when he was loyal and true now a days its a lost value.

Greg spent the week in the hospital learning to slow down put his health first. As much as he loved his job,  it was a distraction from life. He wanted to see and do so many things. Scared to do it alone, but sometimes in life; that's how it goes.
He would ask "what else is out there" annoy with some people because he'd invite; tell them it was going to happen, after being ignored. They would comment on a picture, or post he found it insulting. Since they did get an invite, but didn't take it serious, or care enough to respond.
Thankful things that are bugging him have been brought to the light. People are rude on the internet but don't have the stones to say it to the person. Thats how cowardly people have become. Greg spoke up and seen as complicated over reacting.

They never believed in him for having a dream. Still pursuing it and doing it didn't settle or compromise. They want results nothing else matters. They never tried or gave a **** unless it's made about them.
Trying to stop you mad when they get surpassed. Being with family feels like being an individual is forbidden. Making a fuss about being dependent selfish for trying to stand alone. Thankful for all the help opportunity provided by those who seen good. Instead of assuming the worse

Not into parties love the family
Never going to live up to standards
An outcast looking in wanting to fit in
Some one is always mad holding a grudge
Talks down on you once a stand is taken
Others offended when questioned
Always the bad guy just trying to be
Gained thick skin desensitized emotionally
Feelings go deep dark overwhelming
Backed into a corner heart racing
Mind grasping to logic and reason
Being in an uncomfortable situation
Why is the guilt spiraling out of control
Never understood all the hype
One minute your loved scared to mess up
Next you are forgotten no one bothers

On the road, After a few set backs rise above the stress; trying to have a life outside of work. A hopeless romantic trying to find true love. Easily bored with all the wrong women sharing time to have it wasted thinking it was something amounting to nothing. Pushing through the chaos fading out of the scene starting over once again.
Avoiding hurt working extra hours distracted from emotions.
Lost in stress focused on improving not the first or last time being in charge. From the the youngest to feeling middle age ready to embrace the change. Everything falls into place over the years. Things don't happen right away thankful it worked itself out eventually.

He didn't expect them to change because he knew they wouldn't. All they do is act like they are okay when things are ******* up. Hidden emotions trying to stay calm act like things are okay. He respected them while they tried to destroy others. He had been self destructive so he knew he understood.
The struggle with addiction not falling back into bad habits while developing new ones. From social to selective not trusting so easy anymore.

Suppose to be fun but it's not the veteran musicians expect your results they don't care how you feel or what you think. Still a beginner taking on years of experience. Not backing down playing frustrated trying to keep up learning on the fly. Trying to play at professional level that's become second nature.
Working on tempo struggling with the tempo lost with the tempo deaf  tone with the change up it all has a consistent flow need to study and analyze the song to make sense of it all.
Trying to let all those feelings and emotions come out vibrate fluxate with the creative process.

He always put others first once he talked about making moves and moving on they'd turn on him. He did what they wanted but needed to do it his way. It always led to conflict and fall outs because of conflict of interest. He was use to being the bad guy because everyone has to be right never admitting their wrongs.
He was done always for them they shook him down. If he ever asked for help or a favor they'd treat him like a nobody after. Made him feel useless and invisible. While they sponged and leeched doing all the things they told him not to do.

He almost quit writing because someone Said when you post its like you're telling your feelings to a computer. It was his way to vent his free therapy since it was expensive. He didn't like to yell or argue to be heard so writing became his outlet outside of MMA and work.
He was called crazy for what he did and how he did things. The dream was real in his mind even though no one put in the time or work like he did.
He had an uncle that told him he didn't belong and told him to step aside let someone else have his spot.
At the time his life was a crisis too many distractions and family issues he had no say or control over.
Most of them came at him sour he couldn't associate with them anymore. Always seen as the bad guy for pursuing a dream. Being an individual they tell him be a man but then try to stop him from doing so.
All the confusion and frustration; be this way, be that way in the end what ever he did; didn't matter to them because it wasn't about them or what they are doing. Selective when they cared or gave a ****

Trying to change my vibe
so I can feel alive deep within
instead of dead inside revived
About the hustle trying to survive
Told me I couldn't been doing it for sometime
Help save others have a hard time saving myself
Find away not meant to stay onto the next
I use to be mad and angry but all the does is burn me up from the inside
Didn't like confrontation would run and hide
Honest and true some see it as deep and dark
Overcome so much onto new not sure where to start
Always wore my heart on my sleeve
Focused on being positive doing good deeds

Not able to drive feeling depressed
Relying on others is the worse
Years of being free to do whatever
Hate being limited due to the transplant
Not able to lift more than 10 pounds
Dropping stuff ***** not able to bend
Dealing with the worse people
Saw good but proved wrong yet again
Poor judgement once again
Being aided to do laundry
Not on my terms or time
On theirs is the worst waiting around
Something special and important
Not taken serious seen as a vacation
Kindness abused hope being drained
Sleep deprived by snoring and arguing
Rushed when it's your time

Meeting new people ***** you make time for them but they have no room for you. Things change after getting sober. You see people are married but not happy or bound together by children. People come and go like the seasons so.e you'd like to stay while others you're glad to let them leave freely.
Looking in wondering asking why but once your in it feels like you're better off without. Some people do drugs and drink becoming dependent on it. You'd like to see them get better but they made their choices you respect them by moving on. You can't go back because they have to want help

Don't have anyone to talk to, so I write it out
Let go of the drama, I can do without doubt
No more wild women waiting for the right one
Goodbye shady friends had to cut you loose
Still trying to win but if not going the distance
Not always liked but one day they'll understand
Rejected for the truth others accepted flaw and all

Thankful for this page it helps me get out my frustrations dropping the burden so I can be free from them. I like to help people but I want them to stand on their own not become a crutch. I've seen people change for the wrong reasons but they are motivated. I'd rather them want it and doing it because they choose to do so.
Having a tough time but will make it work or find away without giving up too much over the years it's been tons of loss but learned maintaining is the most important part once you have it. Finding balance who do people give up who they are and sacrifice you can only do that for so long till you move on to something that loves and appreciates everything you do.
Some fear change sometimes change makes you better.

He woke up finally got rest and felt recharged
All week he gives his all never giving up or quitting especially when he was burnt out and sore. He took criticism and listened so he can be better and improve.
Trying to rise above move up so he can be a member of the trio. Majority of the time he felt he didn't belong because they kept him out. He always had their back but they always left him and undermine his opinion and ideas.
He came up with the idea got no credit, he was not a glory hound and did it because he loved it. His plans or ideas did not clash with the others. They seeked glory and fame but he just like the creative process did his part because it was the right thing to do.
He would depart from this group because it was no longer his vision or his they kept the name he swore one day he would come back with a better idea that would be his own even more successful than before.

Who are you outside of work?
Tired of living up to ideal standards
Over others judgement
Working in the background
Eventually started to stand out
Working hard to get ahead
Yet still in the struggle
Missing family but with them fear of missing out
Like something needs to be done something is missing
Seen their True color now mad they see there's no games or playing on this end
Just walk away Not worth reviving something thar tried to destroy you
Kept a distance never said anything bad

Leaving home to pursue a degree
Away from home missing family
Experiencing the world lots of changes
Freedom to learn and grow mentally
Emotionally struggling with transition
Hard to express love show emotions
Never grew up not being heard
Having a say published for speaking up
Trusting others is difficult
learned to be alone sent to the back
Older now doing things on the go
No one will do the work for you
One must do things by ones self

What did you want to learn
What are your weakness
Everyday trying to be better
Improve the situation
Going against the odds
Spoke up told the truth
Kept out of the loop
Prefer not to get involved
Doing the job and going home
Minding this mouth and business
Use to do extra now excluded
Isolated but use to being alone
Trying to be myself not what others say
Not all the lies others make me out to be
Open to change looking else where
Tired of the lies don't trust anyone
Being taken for granted mistreated