Learning to love again after being betrayed
Living separate lives theres no going back
One gave everything it was never enough
The other forcing instead of letting it be natural
Writing to express all those bottled feeling
Confusing thoughts make sense of things
Scared feeling vulnerable with change
Wanting to love freezing up in the moment
Afraid to leave but meant to grow
New moments training for hours
That one moment lasts a few minutes

Back on this writing project, trying to believe in it. Get lost in the story creating character some are too much finding the chemistry. Building up in the mind hyping things up. Slow down figuring it out over time.
Tired of them dulling his shine
Someone was always mad or offended
Tired of walking egg shells
All they did was talk about everyone
They were no better or worse off
He minded his business that's on them
Held them responsible for those actions
If a made a mistake being extra cautious. Never hear the end of it

Not everyone is going to be happy for you so do what you love what makes you happy. You made time for it they gave you crap they aren't making or putting forth any effort.
You'd help them but they wouldn't do the same. Its been a growing process putting yourself first and not be seen as jealous or selfish.
Putting on the mitts and gloves felt right working on technique also drilling. Training felt right for once been missing it because of work. Waking up the muscle memory.

Walked away the anger was draining
Frustrated with everything
Taking back some control
Lost himself trying to please others
Spoke up everyone got defensive
He went with the flow got *******
Always helping getting accepted
Never got helped back or expected it
Once he said No they turned on him
If he couldn't had a prior commitment
Made it seem he never contributed
Treated different tone changed
The tension overwhelming
Not faking everything is well
Pretending we are cool when its shady
If a favor wasn't honored

The worse part about positing is someone will think. I'm talking about them looking for ways to hold a grudge. Sorry they have a guilty conscience. The family is the worse trying to pick a fight they'll try to turn everyone against you.
For showing feelings having emotions getting older can't keep holding all that anger and frustration in. It all comes out eventually. Sad to deal with that but it helps you grow and gain to be a stronger person.

He got cut it use to huet his feelings but gets it now. He wanted to do and be better but couldn't with the wrong people. He loved them but they couldn't agree or compromise. It was better they depart to go their separate ways. One focused on work and improving.
The other developed habits talking about everyone trying to use that negativity to influence other perspective on him.
He was rebel that got used had trust issues. Preferred to be alone opened up trusted the wrong people.
It was a vicious cycle learned to stay out not get involved focus on what needed to be done. He knew it wasn't given had to work for it.

Everything has changed everyone full of rage
All the hate won't make you great liked for the wrong reasons
Instead of doing what's right choices were made
Actions said more than words put on a side when it's not your fight
Walking away isn't enough the backlash gets everyone
Beaten and defeated still being provoked by a winner that is unworthy of the victory
The slaunder of your character makes them feel empowered
Not beat because focused on other matters which lead to something more productive
For not being like they are always saying your name
Unworthy of your time you give them your back if you still up their voice would shake and the fear in their eyes avoiding eye contact
The cold look in your eyes the emotion is gone
The game is over the tone has changed

Spoke up no one listens
Trying to blame what a shame
Made out to be the crazy one
Times got rough made things tough
Stepped it up even with setbacks
The dream was meant for more
Shat on by envious people
Didn't go against their indulgence
They are coming towards your success
Chopping you down a few notches
Resisting the negativity focused on goals
Surpassing toxic Positive to the core
Personal growth is the strength
Positivity fueled to do and be better

Being disconnected *****
Taking a time out because the people who wronged you
Got on your last nerve you give up everything
You didn't do anything wrong just trying not to be petty and not make it worse
Hated for being truthful while others praised for being fake
Pondering a new plan an escape route to come up with something better
Trying to get back on track with what's been on the back burner
The fear of no time and it's running out
Slowing down is hard when you're always all gas and no brakes
Thought your hard work would be rewarded after being ******* over the days have been gray.
Hard to trust from a lead role to being left behind the scenes
Deep thoughts of more older now all the side track need to get back on the fast track

Let go of those tough times one has out grown no longer holding on to those heartaches the struggle the burden is not worth it you can relive the moment in your mind but as time progress they fade and growing is the process that makes you better. Lost love will be found with true love all the hurt will make you stronger and better for the next. Sometimes too focused on what's going on behind you but not going that way anymore.
Sometimes you meet wonderful people afraid to replace the old but those people don't keep contact or want you. Living for yourself for once not saving room for people that don't want you around. It's hard to make a connection when you have trust issues dealing with fake toxic people that use you take you for granted, don't let them dull your shine.
Moving is hard holding back leads to regret no longer in that vice grips.

Use to being alone noticed some have it all, and not happy. Always on the outside looking in accepted not always going to belong, or fit in. Always try to understand before coming to terms with that's how things are with certain people, or events.

I've always been the creative type. I trust my work with others but it keeps being set aside or being alter my vision deluted. I think of taking a stand so that I can get what exactly what I'm looking for.
I'm not the directing type I can do great things but keep limiting myself. I've written many scenes that I can piece together but coordinating the actors and a set is all new to me. I've seen my friends work but its not my vision working production is a process in many aspects
I usually trust others judgement I need to get better and have confidence in myself. I don't want to be sneaky and go behind peoples back but waiting I'm not gaining or learning anything.
Starting and getting it done matters most to me this plotting and what if or what could be scenario gets old. I hear one thing but they do another so its kind of hard to settle or expect anything. I see more but dealing with less.

The fighter within wants to strike, a mindful mouth keeping the peace. Dealing with people that are full of it. They tread on others and think they could spread their toxic into your area.
Your personal space dealing with talkers, they haven't done it riding someone else's coat tail acting like their rank means something. Always working hard and the people talking haven't done, or dk what you can do.

He wanted to learn but you can only do that by doing. Reading up on it does nothing applying the material makes you learn and understand better. Always asking questions people can't explain or never give a reason it's frustrating to see some cheat the system get ahead without knowing covering their but they are willing to sacrifice others by throwing them under to distract others from seeing their flaws and mistakes.
Doing the work to get there makes it worth it but learning and being able to do so

Didn't want to argue with anyone
Learned he didn't have to say anything
The less he said the more they talked
Faded away enjoying peace within
Use to see it as being punked out
Not doing anything stayed calm
Collected not over reacting composed
Not feeling bad anymore at ease
Could only do so much slowing down

He kept pushing through now he was alone. Waiting and walking among peers felt like he was missing out or could be doing more. Not going up on his individualism refused to be another face in a crowd.
He felt things that had become so distant. Friends and social interaction wasn't the same it seemed better this time around. He usually went to work and home to sleep.
He'd work hard writing while listening to podcast. Faded out of all the family drama. He was free no kids or relationship to limit him. He did try to take on family values but too many rules are made that keep him out feeling excluded in a room among loved ones.

Tired of arguing it's a lost cause
Another grudge help against you
You said NO they treat you different
Had an opinion now the conflict is stronger than ever
All this false hope and expectation
Leads conflict there's no respect for one another's differences
Trying to do it your way other peoples ways become roadblocks
No clue what's going on getting all the blame.
Many angered by pain with old hurt
All the extra causing others misery

I've been having dreams that came true for you
I dram you had my kid but you did that with someone else
In another dram you wore a wedding dress we just got married
I had no clue found out through a friend
you're happy that's all that matters
We weren't meant to be that was hard for me to see
Not going back but moving forward with someone new who is true

Once you heal overcome all the drama
You stop looking for it since I always end up in the wrong places
Hanging on to hope while all is lost
Positive while everyone is negative and discouraged
Find courage and give life meaning find purpose
Others settle and don't try sad how they blame
Rather than own up
don't be ashamed but try pursue your passion
Others don't understand it's your dream not theirs

Talking about it is always hard but once you bring it to the light turns out you are not the only one going through it. The best feeling is when others understand. It gets easier to deal with. Stops you from empowering fear.
Feeling on edge over dumb possibilities that play out in the mind all these made up scenarios. Playing out in his head. Remembering a bad time and moment never wanting to end up there once again.

Working harder than the rest. Mentally prepping a new process to stay sharp on top of the task. All the drama doesn't matter. Started believing stopped doubting because some useless lead doesn't believe in you.
Being the guy instead of letting others steal credit for your hard work. Working behind the scenes not taking NO pursuing a dream stepped it up. Standing out making a difference for those that believe in you gave you a chance. The hard work is how the favor is returned.

Trying to do what's right
Guilty conscience an internal fight
Doing missing out an unsettling feeling
The judgement and hatred from others
Mind stirring up conflict intense
Messing up trying to show up
Feeling out place refusing to beg
Uncomfortable ready to be destroyed
Called out gutted for dealing with

As he got older he didn't have time for drama. He didn't feel bad for people that did drug or drank because they chose self destruction over life. Sad that some chose their bad habits over their family.
Some think they can pick and choose when they want when to participate. Be their full-time or don't bother wasting everyone's time. So much is expected but nothing is put out.
Growing up poor was feeling unworthy but once you got older you worked hard and through it. So many things to learn and rise above. Mostly learned by doing get in there make it happen.
Learning to lead mostly inspire those who want to make it and put in the time to do so. Some think it but never put forth any effort to get to the next level. Being social is hard because your agenda is to get the work done and keep gaining and growing while others don't care going through the motion without any effort.
Finding self motivation because the people you think are on your team have your back are the ones talking. Not doing any work trying to place themselves above you but not doing anything. They could have their criticism back all those rude remarks because they'll try to break you then try to install some of their ideas like if they care or know what's best for you.

On the road on the Go
Who know what was ahead
The team took an L
At their best raising hell
From the bottom to the top
Win or lose going all in
All the rage in and outta the cage
Win together bonding
Lose together growing united
Support for one another
Picking each other up
Striving towards greatness
Working hard to be a legend
Determined to be icon status

Lost in the music being creative
Playing the bass making fussion
Jamming stay on key energy
Feeling the vibe soul is alive
Connecting with the other person
Sress melts away from within
Trying to stay on beat key note
Keep the count on time
Sounds vibrate the strings
Echo through the speaker
Hit the notes be precise
Stay on tempo consistently

As you get older you can't keep doing the same stuff. You don't recover the same and the body goes through more changes even after puberty. The desire and rush fades away sometimes you ignore the delusions stay away from things because you don't agree or want no part of that nonsense. Years of fighting over meaningless stuff you turn your back walk away don't empower the BS. Do what makes you happy focus on being better sometimes you help others on the way other times you need to help yourself. As I get older it's like racing time.
Lots of reaching the top but breaking through on the glass ceiling is the hard part. Doing things that you'd never do or because they told you it couldn't be done. Proving people wrong but they don't care don't be distracted and blinded by people who don't care about you. Use you and take you for granted you deserve much more and better. Helping others can be rewarding but found most are not greatful and don't appreciate your efforts but the ones who do make your efforts feel worth your time.
Times changes don't like that I have to give up my values or beliefs to be accepted. Respect was a big thing if you didn't have it you're nobody. Now a days so many things don't make sense but that's what's trending. I've grown and learned to be happy with myself and work with what I have. It's been a tough road in denial of what the future has become but do respect the reality even if I disagree.
From my teens to my thirties seen and experienced so much you can't stay in the past things change all those road blocks and detours go away. Never too late don't lose hope because it hasn't happened yet.

He wanted romance but it got to crazy
He was loyal and honest showed loved
She lied and cheated it was lust
Remaining loyal to the wrong people
You thought you knew the person
Turns out your judgement was wrong
Opened up to a stranger expecting more
Stuck with less regretting every moment
Broken trust a failed attempt at love
Hard to trust after being fool
Genuine intentions crushed by betrayal
Physically burnt out constantly rejected
Mentally exhausted drained of caring
Not able to figure it out looping thoughts

asked why you don't talk to so and so
I refuse to lower myself to be accepted
Never deny myself to be liked by others
Apologized and still treated different excluded
Not always forgiven, forgave, and moved on
Missed the good times living in the moment
Left with bad memories working hard to rise
Someone is always mad and won't forgive
Holding a grudge stuck in the past hating
Bad mouthing your name to appear better
Because they have no say or control over you
It bugs you've moved on trying to be better
Why can't they do the same, stuck in a loop
Family criticizes one anothers differences
Never correcting themselves first
Lots of talk, judgment, different lifestyles
No effort made echoing complaints
Fix yourself do the work earn a living
Before knocking on others, invest in yourself

Writing hid story everyday some day will become one day. As the wind blew he sat in starbucks drinking a hot chocolate ad his phone upgraded.
His friends all grew up working or with family. He seen them as family but realized his chapter was over and would have to move on. They settled for their journey he wanted to do more with his writing or create turn his ideas into short clips.
He told the truth, and ****** people off. All his courage the confidence it took for him to put his being into the writing. Trying to find those feelings and emotions to express himself. Trying to be creative while others tried to censor him. Guilt him like he did wrong when all he did was express himself.
He loved the creative process it made sense so many want to be critics on the finish product. All his time and effort ripped apart in a matter of seconds. Wrote it down hoping to make sense of the insanity.