Writing this poem
At home all alone
Time passing rapidly
Personal growth daily
Changed with age
Hard to remain the same
Feel the sounds Setting a mood
Writing tempo hits highs and lows
Music touches the heart
Tugging at the heart string
Easier to open up show emotions
Be able to vibe feeling from within
Finally processing after collecting
Encounters experiences from the week

Hip hop in my ears
The bass the beat
Melts away fears
Truth in the lyrics
Keeping it real
Emotions are deep
Feelings that reap
Blocking out the world
Never fit in anywhere
Not clicking anymore
Self respect walked away
Away from neglect

Times have change
I was taught dress to impress
Especially when you grew up poor
Smell good stand out
Be your own person
Not be like everyone else
Button up shirts and clean cut
Clothes had room to breathe
Everything is right and fitted
If you wore an undershirt
You had toned arms and worked out
So many weird changes
Before you earned a woman's trust
Shower respect put in time
Now they give up the goods
Women had class not easy to get
But when you got it things got serious
Everyone wants all the perks
No commitment but wants a relationship
How can you be with someone
If there is no love or trust
You love someone you earned trust
Its a two way street with respect
Keeping it flowing when it's true
Too many mistake lust for love
How do you claim to love someone
Why cheat or waste someone's time
Come real or stay away
Some want the real thing
While you play games then mad
Some can be in a relationship
Being picky and selective
Don't complain about being alone
The ones who want you got rejected
Some have unexpressed feelings
Never said what you mean to them

Each day feeling further away
The master plan unweaving
Didn't go accordingly
Woke up older wiser than before
So many life lessons learned
From wild child to composed
Reserved more selective
Holding back any actions
Feels like others judge
Made to look crazy in phase
More determined anxious than ever
Staying clever focused on being better
Always putting other first
Give them the best try to bring it out
Over taking on the worse
Set in those wicked ways

Another story untold growing old
Life take of pause no longer on hold
Opened up after being closed off
Talking about it feeling better
Wearing layers for the weather
Chaffing ******* on a run
Tore up and worn out
Every mile more fatigue
Sweating through
Pushing more to finish
Losing body heat cooling
The cold air feels colder
Was told if angered go for a run
The idea of running forever
Came to mind learned to manage

Met at the bar not for drinks
Turns out she's working
Told a joke or two made her laugh
Enjoyed her smile trying to be funny
Trying not to bug she's working
Made a witty remark to spark conversation
More random than normal, being myself
Always been weird, it's all that's known
Working up the words to say
As her out deep down fearing rejection
Being denied, by a crush an actual interest
A conflict of interest might cause a disturbance
One might be emotionally interest
While the other emotionally unavailable
The vibe feel right, might not be the right time
From crushing to crushed with self doubt
With confidence things might change
Actually work, wrote things to say
Gave it to God prayed, so much on the mind
The words won't come out, Frozen in time
Back to the bar a goofy stare with a cheesy smile
Out of these thoughts in the head again

Writing each line
Thoughts build up
Back of the mind
Each line filled
With a dying pen
Setting the mood
Searching within
Random memories
Come to mind

she stared in his eyes
noticed someone different
both had grown up
Not the same people
year out of school
lived different lives
Reunited as adult
He loved her since day one
from the friend zone
Mutual respect for one another
it's like she dated everyone
but him he was hurt, blocked it out
she could never be single
with someone who treated her bad
Did her ***** she deserved better
she told him all her troubles
he feared telling her hownhe felt
Being denied and rejected
The fear took his breath away
Holding back but had so much to give
After many failed relationships
He had his doubts after being hurt
knew love in his heart
Because love conquers all

Minding his mouth
While others get hurt
Can't save everyone
In the cross fire
Spoke up others got offended
Said nothing taking the blow
Standing tall going numb
Trying not to intervene
Tired of turn a blind eye
Others get ******* over
A dominos effect no one escapes
Where everyone feels the pressure
Hard to surrender being provoked
Knowing the consequences
Tarped in feeling frozen
Not able to react

Under the lamppost
Talking to one another
A nice refreshing breeze
Two strangers meeting up
Getting to know one another
Talking about their life
Funny moments sharing stories
Planning to make new ones
Spent an evening under the stars
Felt like it was all going to line up
Talked on the phone nightly
Prior to the evening planned
Silence felt right together
Lots of smiles with quality time

Asked for her number
Wanted to be the one
Not one of many
Willing to do anything

Heard her laugh
Love her smile
From love to hate
She use to be great

Gave all her love
She showed up late
Missed my chance
The moment passed

Hot to cold with emotions
Haven't talked for year
Growing old not use to new
Another chapter in this story

Forgave those who never forgive
Walking around never forgiven
Over being the scapegoat
Avoid toxic negative people
Who still blame others
Always owned up
Trying to be bettee
Handled business get it done
Use to be friends
Now complete strangers
Pride is the divider
Trust is broken
Lies won't make it right

Obsorbed all energies
Rejecting the bad vibes
Open to changes positivity welcomed
New mindset altered behavior
See the world differently
Trying to fit in doesn't mean settle
Meant for better should be doing more
Did too much everyones mad
Set in their ways never gonna change
Not always going to belong
Squeezed out had to make a choice
Hard to speak up raise that voice

Once success is grasped no one is happy
If it was them applauding their efforts
Talked them up with respect
While they Knocking your efforts
People grow apart for a reason
Not into bad mouthing others
Stay out of others business
Minding the drama a silent mouth
Over all the contradiction so many lies
Say what you mean honor your words
Mean what you say acting right
Actions tell another story be aware
From what's being said it all plays out
Talking loud so sensitive easily offended
Tear down others not open to new perspective

Analyze everything
Over thinking things
It doesn't feel right
The vibe very unsettling
Doesn't make sense
Actions don't match
What's being said
Silence leads to a loud mind
Speaking up makes it awkward
A friend tells the truth
Not one to lie prefer honesty
Following the train of thought

Use to be in shape got hate
Listened to those haters
Comfy in this skin
Now they are annoyed still
Anything done is never enough
Nothing going on with them
So they critic others
Times are tough
Made it through
Make the most of it
Moving up others don't like it
They've been stuck going no where
Most don't like change
Especially if it's not in their favor

A crowded room so alone
An empty room filled with life
Honest opinion not well received
Direct straight to the point
No hidden agendas
Loyal friends are always true
Through the tough time
Allows growth and encouragement
Able to be ones self without hesitation

In the car on the way to work
Thought about driving
Go have fun experience life
See where things end up
Enjoy life experiences an awesome adventure
New encounters with interesting people
New experiences tasty food
Somewhere new escape the pattern
Over the mind numbing routine

Thankful to be included
Don't like when others
Make plans didn't commit to it
Someone is always mad
Or someone is disappointed
Can't win not trying to be involved
Another tough crossroads
Fork in the road
Anxious to belong sent away
No heart feels wrong
Stopped caring made way
All of a sudden wanted
Quite infuriating over time

On the road in the rain
So many in a rush to be in traffic
Putting others in danger over others well being
Reckless driving doesn't get you anywhere faster

Not always easy to be social
Walk into someone's bad mood
Or they are dealing with BS
Taking frustrations out on you
Gave them space to cope
Lent an ear to help them vent
Listened to drama stuck on a loop
Eventually had to walk away
All I can do is pray wishing I could help
Negative energy draining positive vibes
Toxic people ruined the good feeling
Making the room unsettle absorbing the peace
Took time alone put down the phone
Use to escape on the web now everyone lives it
Socializing with people use to be interesting
Now it's all about posting and pix
Tried to follow the trend communication ends
Times have changed interactions not the same

90s music takes me back
Metal for the gym hit it strong
Music while I write memories
My thoughts feel the beat set a mood
A song reminds me of you
Our first slow dance in my heart
The first kiss to slow jams
Driving on the road music blaring
We hold hands to our Destination
Special lyrics we sung to one another
A duet for two that feels right
Overcoming this failed love addiction
The reason I write to misic
Can't keep denying myself

Showed too much interest
Called too much to check up
Didn't call enough gave some space
Showed no interest
One sided relationship
Half a commitment
Not worth it a lost cause
Don't know how to act
Or how to be with you
Say one thing how to act
Then act another way
Doing opposite walking contradiction
Different from what was said
Gave love got the cold shoulder
Pushed away no reason to stay
Learning to start over love again

She entered the classroom
Her first day of school
So young it was all new
Imaginary friends fade away
New friends to develop
Social skills grow as a person
Be a good person to others
Polite well mannered
Full of life innocent
Filled with joy life's begun
New friends to grow with
Another lesson learned
Made it through the day
Time to go home from school
Till the next day another class

They met at work had pleasant conversations. They talk at the bar getting more personal with one another. He was sober with so much change over the years. It was weird for him to be in a bar not having a drop of alcohol. They talked about their situations. She was working to support her child. While he worked trying to come up with another plan to progress.

Lay in bed I see your face
Staring back at mine
Not sure what to say
Like this moment
Don't want it to end
The smile on your face
Makes me do the same
Those big eyes locked on mine
Too good to be true
Can't stop thinking of you
Are we destined to cross paths
Is this fate or am I too late

If I could make it right I would
Really want to call and check up
My pride won't allow me to do so
Miss those moments the good times
Sad we all grew apart we use to be close
Seen great in others and saw nothing in me
Fighting to stay but they don't want me
Went away got all the blame forgotten
Choices were made not the scapegoat moved on
Sobered up not the same person
How you remember me
Not sure how to feel or think anymore
Changed my behavior my way to apologise
You might hold a grudge against someone
I'm not anymore let go of the past
Those gut feeling is relieved
The guilt widdles away feeling saved
Trying to live be free for me find closure
Didn't want to lose it all never ready to let go
Just want to get it all back make it right
Be better feel whole glow from within
Not like I'm trapped in a deep dark hole