When people are so negative you hide who you are rather than give them the pleasure of ruining your day. Not walking into their trap their personal life spreads a toxic vibe at work. You avoid them by listening to music focused on work getting it done. Never let anyone full your shine. Smile while they hate you for chosing to be more over being consumed by frustration.

Hard to open up show emotions
He had an opinion his words flipped
Emotions used against him
Silences stirre the truth within
Always feeling alienated by peers
Excluded his opinion not validated
Be a certain way live up to ideals
All he wanted was to be himself
Treated like he did something wrong
Working twice as hard feeling cheated
Rsing up feeling brought down

He was a loner so he claimed to be a rebel. He didn't fit into the box and refused to listen because the people who judged them never did anything but work a 9-5. He traveled seen the world but felt like he never had a home. Till one day he found a place to call home where he belonged he didn't feel lost or like he didn't belong. He was blunt and honest because people were always honest with him. He didn't limit himself and never took NO He found away to achieve his goals.

Some days everything hurts
Other days numb mind clear of thoughts
Trying to find the words to express these emotions
Reflected on all the bad memories
Enjoyed reliving the good times
Hard to sleep deep in thought again
Struggled to survive some days feel alive
The darkness inside not always dead within
Not always pure in the mind feeling blind
The heart beats life deep within the core

Back at it again holding pads
Went fishing doing all the things
I said had my life on hold due to health
Work was an escape to be distracted
Taking in the scenery the world intriguing
Smiled because things happen
Did what others said couldn't be done
Being extra and do more is rewarding
Strong in faith no time for hate
Trying to see and do it surp of the moment
Sometimes it better than imagine
Other times it's a work in progress
Before money was a limiting issue
Now time is a factor learning to manage better
Finding balance for everythingin life Neglecting things that matter saving up
Making things seem important
Getting less in return feeling cheated
You can change but some remain the same

Talking about drama
Making more for yourself
Doing all the things
You said you'd never do
The same mistakes in a loop
Doing wrong trying to justify it
Hurting others blaming them
Doesn't make you right
Talking loud ignoring others
Doesn't mean you're right
Making others look bad
Doesn't make you better
Caught up in lies not credibility
The truth will expose everything

He closed his eyes to relax compose himself. While his opponent used muscle burning out. Being yelled at "why are you closing your eyes?" Staying collected waiting for the moment to counter and strike back from defense to offense. Trying to take control of the situation bounce back from all the criticism. He could see those haters faces knowing his time and moment would come where they'd be quiet because he proved them wrong.
Being told no but was doing it. Being disrespected but still having respect for people who ran their mouth. Knowing they aren't better that's why they keep talking. Knowing the sport trying to improve grow within stay involved even as age limits movement. Trying to stay active and healthy for the most part challenging the mind to do more the body to never quit keep pushing through all the tiredness.
From a bad team to making his own liking when people bring put the best in him instead of the worse. He wanted to grow with that team if they won he would feel proud to be part of it. But if things went wrong he'd get back into his lab come up with new ideas and drills to be much better learn from the mistakes improve on the good new strategies a new game plan for the next match.

Going to be a long day
Short staffed at work
No overtime allowed
Not able to get coverage
Everyone wants a job
Not everyone wants to work
Cared too much got overwhelmed
Didn't care felt terrible
The team young hard to motivate
On and off days occurs more than normal
Dealing with different personalities

Everyone was gone he pushed them away. He learned to be cozy in his own skin. He hated who he became too many people in his head. He should've listened to himself, did what he wanted and what he loved. No one seemed to get him trying to label package him into someone else.

From the youngest to the oldest in the room
Times have changed told somethings are taboo has become socially accepted
Everything in the open
No longer private with thought
Opinions no one asked expecting to be praised
Everyone puts on a show
Loyalty gets you betrayed
Honesty is now rejected by lies
Hard working gets stomped on
Lazy praised given awards ******* up
Hating on the workers change the routine
Brown nosing the top while kissing the bottom

He stared as his lazy good for nothing co-worker cussed him out. In mid conversation, he walked away. The bitter employee asked, "where you going?" He would reply, "to do my work and most likely yours."
This was work a place, where the hard working are ignored, where the **** up brown nosers bare rewarded. Sometimes you deal with many people other than customers.
The pretty girl who relies on her looks, flirts to get her way, but the company. This company only has so many places a person could move up. The more you do you'd think a person should make more.... Wrong. They make you do more for less, and think a pat on the back is good enough, maybe less; if they keep squeezing.
The guy who talks, the most usually; doesn't do ****, but that's on them. The managers find out who's lazy when the hard working guy is scheduled the day off.

If you need a favor just ask, don't play mind games manipulate others to do the things you won't do. Because you didn't get your way making things personal. That mouth keeps running you'll get caught up since you think your way of imposition is better. When you get stopped in your intrusive tracks don't be surprised.
Another false narrative spun in your favor. Adding lies to your statements to place yourself on another level but it doesn't make you a better person.

They called him the Golden child
He went off to college learned live
He was a fighter determined to survive
Who knew it wasn't a sure thing
Lots of personal growth no longer afraid
Failed before nothing can stop him anymore

Tomorrow is valentines day don't let that bug you. You are loved and appreciated by the right people. Show love all year long not one day because everyone else is doing it.
If you're single don't be ******* yourself because the right person will find you. Don't settle for less live life to the fullest. Remember you are responsible for your happiness and the one that can make it happen for yourself

He wanted a life that wanted nothing to do with him. He knew he'd have to earn and work for it since nothing is given. He gave his all at work did his best gave his all. A social person but now a days everyone was into social media and texting.
He liked one on one interaction that was hard to find now a days. He was always honest even if they hated him for it. He respected people with the truth while others dissed him with lies.
The frustration was real things didn't make sense the new standards had lots of taboos and double standards. If he did it he got criticized and judged; while didn't no one said anything. He didn't buy into the hype he questioned it anything he liked got knocked.

Not always the good guy
Only one side of the story is being told
Never said anything bad
While others project false beliefs
Spoke up against imposed ideals
Excluded for having an opinion
Allowed to disagree have differences
Not a yes man speaking on one's self
Friends fade grow a part over time
Due to conflict of interest
Family should love you more
Since  they can't compromise
Trying to slander your name
Make relatives think less of you
One voice means nothing alone
Use the masses to gain power
The power trip causes the downfall
Comfortable being disrespectful
Eventually, toxic takes down the mass
The truth remains overpowering lies
While the manipulator is exposed

Don't agree if you object
Tell me what I want to hear
Then be dismissive opened trusted you
The silence cause by being fed up
Threw ideas your way tried to help
Always shutting them down
Quick to take credit work you didn't do
Made it about you knocking the team
Did it for the team so everyone can grow
Let's build of this idea creative input
Doesn't matter to you so you don't care
Others rising up determined to move up
You won't let them surpass your ways

He watched films, and wanted to create his own the characters, unique people he wanted to be like. He like to write dialog, say things he wish he said In the moment. He didn't like people talking about him so he did what was important. He learned fast that others will have something to say, regardless what is said or done.
Writing caused him drama; how did so much bad end up with what he loved. His thoughts being used against him trying to debate the topic but its a passing idea or thought always open to grow. His mind wanted others try to find ways to flip it against him all he wanted was to express himself.
Not talking about anyone but how the situation made him feel and asking how did it end up this far after a while it didn't bother or get to him anymore.

Telling the truth gets you hated
So many try to cancel you out
Twist your words with lies
**** you off for having an opinion
Stand your ground for your beliefs
Standing solo a friend becomes a rival
Blood unites a family divided by anger
Still disconnected full of pride
wicked hidden agendas appear
Holding a grudge is the wedge
Love over material possessions
Divided by perspective, no fear of consequence
Grew up together now, complete strangers

Back on this writing project, trying to believe in it. Get lost in the story creating character some are too much finding the chemistry. Building up in the mind hyping things up. Slow down figuring it out over time.
Tired of them dulling his shine
Someone was always mad or offended
Tired of walking egg shells
All they did was talk about everyone
They were no better or worse off
He minded his business that's on them
Held them responsible for those actions
If a made a mistake being extra cautious. Never hear the end of it

The truth came out now all of a sudden it's causing a ruckus. Trying to argue getting defensive because they've been exposed. When he said she ignored him, now that someone else mentioned it showing concern. He always wanted to fit in but they kept him out. He's not missing anything but an arguing couple run down by their kids. They have way more and it's still not enough.
He worked with what he had made the most of thing. able to adjust and adapt stopped empowering their toxics ways. Muted out the negativity evil energy trying to consume

Going against the family is the worst because you feel like you let everyone down. The family doesn't realize they let you down on many occasions but turned a blind eye wiped away tears. Stay strong because showing weakness got you stepped on or pushed around.
Family uses humor to insult you but when you use the same tactic they aren't to happy with what's being said especially when it's the truth. Jokes turn into talking **** all of a sudden. Some can't take a joke so they try to get physical or try to insult you with lies making things personal.
Lots of respect for a person who calls you on your ****. It might be tough but it's nice to know someone is paying attention. While some talk and do nothing about it just talk wasting everyone's time.

Woke up ready to go stand tall
Tlmade out to be the problem
Providing the solution to help
Returned the favor for motivation
Driven to make a changes for better
Tired made up rules that are bias
Meant to keep your character out
Not altering this personality to be liked
Accepted or not refuse to be kept out
More than my job title beyond the work
Another life outside of the chaos
Not into politics be your true self
Focused on being a better person

We can't hang because you do dumb stuff on your girl
And try to blame me for your actions
I tolerate your girl because of you
Never talked about your girl ever
She always talking about everyone she's no better done worse like cheating and you still trust her
Saying its over never again then going back
Easier to stay single than get caught up in the mind games
Over all the lies and contradictions not responsible for your happiness
While you drain everyone causing chaos frustration

Not everyone is going to be happy for you so do what you love what makes you happy. You made time for it they gave you crap they aren't making or putting forth any effort.
You'd help them but they wouldn't do the same. Its been a growing process putting yourself first and not be seen as jealous or selfish.
Putting on the mitts and gloves felt right working on technique also drilling. Training felt right for once been missing it because of work. Waking up the muscle memory.