Ups and downs more lows than highs
An ex moving on not the same anymore
Just a fling doesn't mean anything
A friendship over due to betrayal
The world such a blur hard to process
Comprehend felt one way seeing differently
Dreams on hold growing old over time
Working a job that has an opening not hiring
Filled the void irritated so annoyed the lies
False hope with broken promises
Focused on the work not the drama

So many angles he could see the possibilities but the outcome never turned out accordingly so may paths and directions he fears going the wrong way made decisions that seemed right but he was wrong. He didn't want to feel stuck live in regret so much on his mind hard to forget. Sees himself as more but living a life he never thought he'd be living working hard and never giving up. He loves to create he enjoyed the process he sees it and feels it connected so deep and straight to the point. He did it because he loves it and passion about it not in it for the money but if it came its a blessing in disguise keep working hard success is a surprise always making an effort to rise grow within the project and work all this hard work doesn't hurt.

The emotion poured out no longer holding it in or holding back. He respected others but they treated him like he didn't matter. He did favors but once he said no or wasn't able to they treated him like the enemy like he was going against the family. He forgave them but they continued to hold a grudge no longer taking their drama he was out of the circle. All he wanted was to belong but he realized he was better off without. He hated the fact he had to give up who he was to be accepted. He would not lower himself to be accepted, they denied him and his ideas. He was hated for asking questions and for telling the truth. He thought they'd value and respect honesty too bad everyone was fake living lies. He never criticized but they always judged him for being different. He wasn't a follower and didn't owe anyone anything. They owed it to themselves to be better be more instead off settling for less.

Everyone was gone he pushed them away. He learned to be cozy in his own skin. He hated who he became too many people in his head. He should've listened to himself, did what he wanted and what he loved. No one seemed to get him trying to label package him into someone else.

He closed his eyes to relax compose himself. While his opponent used muscle burning out. Being yelled at "why are you closing your eyes?" Staying collected waiting for the moment to counter and strike back from defense to offense. Trying to take control of the situation bounce back from all the criticism. He could see those haters faces knowing his time and moment would come where they'd be quiet because he proved them wrong.
Being told no but was doing it. Being disrespected but still having respect for people who ran their mouth. Knowing they aren't better that's why they keep talking. Knowing the sport trying to improve grow within stay involved even as age limits movement. Trying to stay active and healthy for the most part challenging the mind to do more the body to never quit keep pushing through all the tiredness.
From a bad team to making his own liking when people bring put the best in him instead of the worse. He wanted to grow with that team if they won he would feel proud to be part of it. But if things went wrong he'd get back into his lab come up with new ideas and drills to be much better learn from the mistakes improve on the good new strategies a new game plan for the next match.

People ask why I title my poem QW which means quick write. I'm usually just getting out; ideas and what's on my mind. Not good at titles, I'm usually straight to the point; nothing fancy, or too crazy. I feel connected to others; especially if they can relate, everyone has a struggle or problems. Some handles them differently, I do it with writing and making the most of life and thankful for what I got.

We can't hang because you do dumb stuff on your girl
And try to blame me for your actions
I tolerate your girl because of you
Never talked about your girl ever
She always talking about everyone she's no better done worse like cheating and you still trust her
Saying its over never again then going back
Easier to stay single than get caught up in the mind games
Over all the lies and contradictions not responsible for your happiness
While you drain everyone causing chaos frustration

Thanksgiving should be about family but with mine there is always drama some act like the world is about them while others complain but stay in that situation. People never change I respect  you've moved up. Just because you treat people bad doesn't mean you have the right to do it.
Some accept it while others won't tolerate that conduct. Not into one sided relationships sick of how people talk about others behind their but kiss *** to their face. Seen them better than myself but they act the worse because you have an opinion you spoke your mind. Trying to tell you how to live when they aren't even living up to the imaginary bar set for others.
We all have that one sibling who thinks because they are tall and thicker than everyone acting like they could beat everyone up talking to everyone disrespectful and expecting respect. After a while you shut it down not empowering that nonsense.
Trying to see people as an equal but some think they can step on people to rise up or use others then drop them like it's hot. Annoyed with phony people who believe in their hype all that talk and not backing it up. Been trying to move up by working hard sick of people putting up road blocks who do nothing for you. Making it about them when they try to steal your credit. Act like they are the mastermind when they are basic and boring trying to steal the spotlight.

Why is it when you speak up and call people on their shadiness they make it personal. They call you sparky and aggressive for speaking up. I'm usually straight forward and honest with no hidden agenda.
While these people lie and **** up to people who bad mouth them. It's easier to walk away than get involved with people that are not in my department. It's easier to be anti establishment than let them waste your time trying to make you into their product then quick to pass you off.
I respect people I don't care for labels or certificates have to feel important. It's all about how you treat people. Treat your people right and they'll back you up
If you dump on their efforts and hard work they'll just do their job go home. Antisocial with no real connection due to false promise

Crossing paths with the people
Who betray your trust
Doing your own thing
Called them out in the past
Now playing the victim
Gave them my back
Avoiding eye contact
So the knife can be removed
Heart is else where going hard
Mind focused on opportunities
Soul free from toxic and lazy haters

Not labels less pressure, they got along. He was free not going back to bad habits. He loved her but she was toxic. Gave up his friends so he could get sober. She would ruin the day if she didn't get her way. He didn't take the nonsense it made things worse. He always felt like a failure, if he didn't get it right for her. Other than it being physical ****** they didn't get along of have any common interest.

He wrestled with the struggle
Trying to be a good person
Be a better person others proved his kindness
He smiled when he was angry
Acted like it didn't bother him
Deep down it tortured his being
He wanted to speak up  biting his lip
But would be seen as the mean one
Put his foot down standing tall left alone
On the outside wanting in
Once inside he wanted out
Too many rules that didn't apply to him
They went against him all the time
He didn't want to take on the world
Also not afraid to swing back

Easy to dominate work
Learn to take a time out
Analyze the situation
Read others so many factors
Different angles and perspectives
Learning to be family not let them down
They don't need to be mad at me
I'm already ******* myself
Use to being judged by others
People think less for being different
Now you give them a reason to do so

A lead playing a side kick
Behind the scenes hustling
While credit is being stolen
A villain in their story
The hero trying to survive
Do what's right stand tall
A moral code as a shield
Works hard in silence
Loud once the victory is achieved
Thriving on a new level
Striving to become a better
Not settling for average
From nothing to something
Much more than before

If you need a favor just ask, don't play mind games manipulate others to do the things you won't do. Because you didn't get your way making things personal. That mouth keeps running you'll get caught up since you think your way of imposition is better. When you get stopped in your intrusive tracks don't be surprised.
Another false narrative spun in your favor. Adding lies to your statements to place yourself on another level but it doesn't make you a better person.

Getting older I stopped caring about material possessions after having an insecure gf wanting expensive designer clothes to make up for a lack of personality. Trying to be a man and provide times have changed. I'm trying to keep up falling behind time to turn the page.
Always growing hard to fit in anywhere. A place to call home a place to call my own. Working hard in an underachiever job to keep from overthinking. Seen you as my friend but too much drama I prefer to stay out of it all.

Not everyone is going to be happy for you so do what you love what makes you happy. You made time for it they gave you crap they aren't making or putting forth any effort.
You'd help them but they wouldn't do the same. Its been a growing process putting yourself first and not be seen as jealous or selfish.
Putting on the mitts and gloves felt right working on technique also drilling. Training felt right for once been missing it because of work. Waking up the muscle memory.

He told the truth why was it talking smack. Keeping to himself doing ehat was right. The internal struggle being prejudged no one knew him. All these assumptions feeling attacked made out to be the bad guy. That person that wants to argue and fight. He wrote while they come at him. Expecting him to over react make a fuss.
Being disrespected called ignorant because he didn't feed into it. Be someone else he wanted out they made him feel bad. Throw up the stomach acid eating him up. He didn't do anything wrong took the criticism but was over it. He had the words thank you peace out in mind and kept a distance.
Over all these false narrative was not able to speak or have a voice. That's why he wrote he got his feelings hurt and felt gutted like a fish.

He stared as his lazy good for nothing co-worker cussed him out. In mid conversation, he walked away. The bitter employee asked, "where you going?" He would reply, "to do my work and most likely yours."
This was work a place, where the hard working are ignored, where the **** up brown nosers bare rewarded. Sometimes you deal with many people other than customers.
The pretty girl who relies on her looks, flirts to get her way, but the company. This company only has so many places a person could move up. The more you do you'd think a person should make more.... Wrong. They make you do more for less, and think a pat on the back is good enough, maybe less; if they keep squeezing.
The guy who talks, the most usually; doesn't do ****, but that's on them. The managers find out who's lazy when the hard working guy is scheduled the day off.

Always putting up with their nonsense
Called them on the bs they got defensive
Chameleon kid the one who spoke up
In the background seeing all the drama
Silent mouth came at him with a tone
Minding his own they try to impose their will
He's working hard knows what's going on
Two faced people fake to one another
He told the truth said it to their face
Now they mad for being exposed
Told to never let himself to anyone
When they are doing worse
Expecting you to turn a blind eye
Mad because they got caught up
Doing what's right help others
Do a good deed trying to be a better person
Others provoking starting fights

Fell out with friends use to be close
It doesn't mean, I don't love is over
Miss them moments when we'd hang
Sometimes the pride changes everything
Ego kills friendship no forgiveness
Numbs the love between people
Buds become enemies divided by a grudge
The safe space becomes a war zone
Wrote the drama down reflected life
If we could talk one more time
Grab a burger catch up forget the BS
Life is hard how's it treating you
Felt like a protector had to take a step back
I'm proud watch you grow from a distance
Walked away you don't need me anymore
Learned to be okay with that crazy

Don't agree if you object
Tell me what I want to hear
Then be dismissive opened trusted you
The silence cause by being fed up
Threw ideas your way tried to help
Always shutting them down
Quick to take credit work you didn't do
Made it about you knocking the team
Did it for the team so everyone can grow
Let's build of this idea creative input
Doesn't matter to you so you don't care
Others rising up determined to move up
You won't let them surpass your ways

He wanted to learn but you can only do that by doing. Reading up on it does nothing applying the material makes you learn and understand better. Always asking questions people can't explain or never give a reason it's frustrating to see some cheat the system get ahead without knowing covering their but they are willing to sacrifice others by throwing them under to distract others from seeing their flaws and mistakes.
Doing the work to get there makes it worth it but learning and being able to do so

Things are not what they appear to be
Sometimes you give others the benefit of the doubt
They prove you wrong also mess with your sense of judgement
In other people's story you are not always made out to be the bad guy
Friends to your face once you turn your back they slaunder your character to others
The only flaw there is the person, they are trying to impress; turn out they find the bad boy rep more attractive.
Most conversations were straight up to the face while the phonies pretended to be someone they weren't