Set boundaries they keep being violated
Stood my ground ready to move on
Trying to do my part stay positive
The manipulation is strong
Didn't do anything wrong
Wasn't the guy meant for something better is out there somewhere else
Doing the work to be overlooked
The team player always helping
Not going to give up on my dreams
Setting new goals outside of work
New ventures adventure
My odds after a transplant are not high
Making the most of my life and time
Feelings hurt tears shed writing to get it out of this looping thought process
Focused on progress go home play bass
Write poems to inspire others
Tired of all these lies being spread
I've been fighting with the truth
Made out to be the crazy one
Overreacting seen snarky standing up for myself

Letting it go because holding onto things consumes you becomes a distraction that ends up being a waste of time. So many toxic people that's why it's easier to role solo. Keeping secrets for others too bad they are quick to spill mine making gossip. Never talked about them but they are quick to point out others flaws, no one is talking about them. So they cause drama to feel relevant to feed their insecurities.
Able to rest relax sad how you can't be honest with people they'll destroy you and think they did you a favor. If you spoke up they get insulted play the victim debate why their actions are justified when clearly it's all BS. They won't listen to others and expect others to hear them out. They'll get the same treatment on how they treat others.
It's such a downer and drains everyone involved. Everyone is hurt no one wins what's the point of all this everyone is worse off instead of better. You forgive them and moved on. While they are stuck still holding that burden trying to use it against you.

Said sorry never forgiven
Gave you space and prayed
You'd forgive me I made a mistake
Didn't know it would be the last time
The last time we'd see one another
Heard about your death on the news
A horrible bus accident that took many
You had many things going on
I was happy for you wishing you the best
A good friend I will remember in my heart
Thought of reaching out regretting not trying
Change was hard letting go adapting
Sometimes your mind wants it one way
Had a vision with a different outcome

From trying to be a team player to handling business and going home
Over all the gym politics some people had help where he had to work to pay for his classes
Work took him away from practicing what he loved.
His so called team gave him crap lots of time conflict and restrictions
Trying to enjoy himself excluded by those arrogant practitioner.
Feared another injury trying to get better feeling like a tackling dummy
Trying to perfect the technique use what was learned apply what's being taught
Wanting to work and compete but it felt like an off season. Learning it'd out there you have to seek it no one will get you there you have to want it.

Getting older I stopped caring about material possessions after having an insecure gf wanting expensive designer clothes to make up for a lack of personality. Trying to be a man and provide times have changed. I'm trying to keep up falling behind time to turn the page.
Always growing hard to fit in anywhere. A place to call home a place to call my own. Working hard in an underachiever job to keep from overthinking. Seen you as my friend but too much drama I prefer to stay out of it all.

Some is always mad because you're living. Most of all offended for having an opinion. Hater upset because are breathing prefer to be alone than caught up in the hype. Not phased by the drama don't care to be involved. Doing your own thing instead of listening to all the gossip. Won't be influenced by the passive aggressive that choose to be selective about showing interest in you and your life.

He told the truth why was it talking smack. Keeping to himself doing ehat was right. The internal struggle being prejudged no one knew him. All these assumptions feeling attacked made out to be the bad guy. That person that wants to argue and fight. He wrote while they come at him. Expecting him to over react make a fuss.
Being disrespected called ignorant because he didn't feed into it. Be someone else he wanted out they made him feel bad. Throw up the stomach acid eating him up. He didn't do anything wrong took the criticism but was over it. He had the words thank you peace out in mind and kept a distance.
Over all these false narrative was not able to speak or have a voice. That's why he wrote he got his feelings hurt and felt gutted like a fish.

So many angles he could see the possibilities but the outcome never turned out accordingly so may paths and directions he fears going the wrong way made decisions that seemed right but he was wrong. He didn't want to feel stuck live in regret so much on his mind hard to forget. Sees himself as more but living a life he never thought he'd be living working hard and never giving up. He loves to create he enjoyed the process he sees it and feels it connected so deep and straight to the point. He did it because he loves it and passion about it not in it for the money but if it came its a blessing in disguise keep working hard success is a surprise always making an effort to rise grow within the project and work all this hard work doesn't hurt.

On my day off I wake up to work
but don't have to free for the day
So I lay in bed stare at the ceiling
Thinking deep in thought taking in the vibe
Focused on good things are not bad
Time to reflect and write it all down
Focus on my passion and things I love
Asking what my personal life needs
what needs to be done make time for it
Nice to relax after being in my head
Determined to finish get it done
Ready to be phyiscal give it all
but relaxing have some fun it's past due
Put on music enjoy the sounds
that take me away escape the work routine
Beats that remind me of my youth
A better time that made sense things changed
Can't stay the same forever most adjust and adapt

Why is it when you speak up and call people on their shadiness they make it personal. They call you sparky and aggressive for speaking up. I'm usually straight forward and honest with no hidden agenda.
While these people lie and **** up to people who bad mouth them. It's easier to walk away than get involved with people that are not in my department. It's easier to be anti establishment than let them waste your time trying to make you into their product then quick to pass you off.
I respect people I don't care for labels or certificates have to feel important. It's all about how you treat people. Treat your people right and they'll back you up
If you dump on their efforts and hard work they'll just do their job go home. Antisocial with no real connection due to false promise

Most people treasure moments a favorite on that soothes my heart and takes me away. Most date but my first one was special. I asked her out I was surprised she said yes. He warm smile that melted my heart. Her hair curly like curly fries.
I was nervous for the day I bought new clothes kept it fresh. We went out for her birthday to celebrate her. I was honored to share the night with her.
I'd walk to her dorm this was a magical moment in college. We'd walk to the restaurant holding hands talking. I was a gentlemen man so I walked by the street. We would arrive at this restaurant. I didn't make reservations so we sat at the bar; we enjoyed a meal shared a kiss.
We walked back home stopped at a coffee shop. I don't like coffee so I had had hot chocolate. Watched the Live band till our drinks were ready
We'd go back to her room nervous and shy never been alone with a girl before. We'd kiss and lay on her bed then she'd hug me rest her head on my shoulder. We'd talk till she fell a sleep. I'd tuck her in let her rest. Kiss her and Appreciate this night with her everything felt right for once.

All I did was love you
Why you Making this so heart
Our love was beautiful fell for you
You meant everything to me
Couldn't get enough needed that fix
Treated me like nothing in denial
The look of love turned to hatred
Passionate kisses became emotionless
Your touch full of charming energy
Numb look in her eyes loss of interest
Emotions are turned of no signs of hope
A loving kiss now meant for someone else
Never feeling the same going without
Empty wanting more craving more
See things the same now that it's over

Being told "get over it" because that person refused to say "I'm sorry" or admit they are wrong. You told them how they made you feel and they seen nothing wrong with what they said or did.
Trying to blame it on you because they'll say you're sensitive. Tell you you're the problem because they refuse to own up.
Call you entitled as a poor kid becoming an adult working for everything. Left alone and they'll call you a narcissist because they can't get to you so they try to get others to see you differently.
Already use to being alone makes you care less what others think. You stop seeking approval. Doing your own thing all this hassling and negative remarks are from people that use people act like it's their right to do so.

Don't know where to start
Or sure where to begin
So many ideas thoughts bouncing around
Do they mean anything will they get me anywhere
Trying to help but no one cares
Went away not expecting others to beg or stay
Learned so much changed tried to fit in
Don't belong or not meant to be
Being alone writing takes the memories away
Sets it all free held onto everything
Thought it would matter mean something
Too bad it's not important to me
Making others happy but not happy it's where I ended up because not what I see myself doing
Not where I should be or doing what was set out to be done
Learned how to treat people interact trying to move up someone told me if you help others it makes you successful and find gratification. Sometimes helping the wrong people but doing the right thing
Staying loyal and true to all the wrong people most of all staying true to myself looking at what's within not settling failed but crazy enough to comeback for more. Won't take no but it's all others throw my way shades of hate comes with pursuing greatness.
Encouraging others to pursue happiness while others discourage sending negativity so they can knock you feel equal but insecurity false sense of empowerment

Grew up around the cholos
Told to be down for yours
Never had their **** together
Making up rules in their favor
Living by the rules of the street
Never cared for that life got in too deep
Some slanging to hustle easy money
Others banging to be territorial
Life or death life on the edge
Grew up hood always misunderstood
Called ghetto for keeping it real
Seen a crazy for standing your ground

Ups and downs more lows than highs
An ex moving on not the same anymore
Just a fling doesn't mean anything
A friendship over due to betrayal
The world such a blur hard to process
Comprehend felt one way seeing differently
Dreams on hold growing old over time
Working a job that has an opening not hiring
Filled the void irritated so annoyed the lies
False hope with broken promises
Focused on the work not the drama

It was a dark errie night made for a scare
The tension built up for a fright
The wickness consuming the fresh air
Trees blocking moon light setting the mood
Holding the darkness squeezing the living out
Creatures singing a song waking for the night
Setting the creepy vibe 12 hours for the dead
Avoiding the sun because it's too bright
The cold night better than the hot days
The fog full of moisture keeping it wet

He wrestled with the struggle
Trying to be a good person
Be a better person others proved his kindness
He smiled when he was angry
Acted like it didn't bother him
Deep down it tortured his being
He wanted to speak up  biting his lip
But would be seen as the mean one
Put his foot down standing tall left alone
On the outside wanting in
Once inside he wanted out
Too many rules that didn't apply to him
They went against him all the time
He didn't want to take on the world
Also not afraid to swing back

Fell out with friends use to be close
It doesn't mean, I don't love is over
Miss them moments when we'd hang
Sometimes the pride changes everything
Ego kills friendship no forgiveness
Numbs the love between people
Buds become enemies divided by a grudge
The safe space becomes a war zone
Wrote the drama down reflected life
If we could talk one more time
Grab a burger catch up forget the BS
Life is hard how's it treating you
Felt like a protector had to take a step back
I'm proud watch you grow from a distance
Walked away you don't need me anymore
Learned to be okay with that crazy

Always putting up with their nonsense
Called them on the bs they got defensive
Chameleon kid the one who spoke up
In the background seeing all the drama
Silent mouth came at him with a tone
Minding his own they try to impose their will
He's working hard knows what's going on
Two faced people fake to one another
He told the truth said it to their face
Now they mad for being exposed
Told to never let himself to anyone
When they are doing worse
Expecting you to turn a blind eye
Mad because they got caught up
Doing what's right help others
Do a good deed trying to be a better person
Others provoking starting fights

Back at it again holding pads
Went fishing doing all the things
I said had my life on hold due to health
Work was an escape to be distracted
Taking in the scenery the world intriguing
Smiled because things happen
Did what others said couldn't be done
Being extra and do more is rewarding
Strong in faith no time for hate
Trying to see and do it surp of the moment
Sometimes it better than imagine
Other times it's a work in progress
Before money was a limiting issue
Now time is a factor learning to manage better
Finding balance for everythingin life Neglecting things that matter saving up
Making things seem important
Getting less in return feeling cheated
You can change but some remain the same

Going to be a long day
Short staffed at work
No overtime allowed
Not able to get coverage
Everyone wants a job
Not everyone wants to work
Cared too much got overwhelmed
Didn't care felt terrible
The team young hard to motivate
On and off days occurs more than normal
Dealing with different personalities

Hard to open up show emotions
He had an opinion his words flipped
Emotions used against him
Silences stirre the truth within
Always feeling alienated by peers
Excluded his opinion not validated
Be a certain way live up to ideals
All he wanted was to be himself
Treated like he did something wrong
Working twice as hard feeling cheated
Rsing up feeling brought down

Everyone was gone he pushed them away. He learned to be cozy in his own skin. He hated who he became too many people in his head. He should've listened to himself, did what he wanted and what he loved. No one seemed to get him trying to label package him into someone else.

Talking about drama
Making more for yourself
Doing all the things
You said you'd never do
The same mistakes in a loop
Doing wrong trying to justify it
Hurting others blaming them
Doesn't make you right
Talking loud ignoring others
Doesn't mean you're right
Making others look bad
Doesn't make you better
Caught up in lies not credibility
The truth will expose everything

Embraced being told off
Blocked out all the bad
Being isolated over drama
Excluded being talked about
Rebelled from the toxic crap
Stopped taking the blame
Had no say or control things happen
Finding confidence within
After squatting being trampled
Stood up for moral integrity
Made a stand the tone changed