Not labels less pressure, they got along. He was free not going back to bad habits. He loved her but she was toxic. Gave up his friends so he could get sober. She would ruin the day if she didn't get her way. He didn't take the nonsense it made things worse. He always felt like a failure, if he didn't get it right for her. Other than it being physical ****** they didn't get along of have any common interest.

Being called delusional for having a dream that doesn't evolve around you.
Being called a narcissistic for not giving up values and ones self
Had bad leads did  their work it made me better
Dealt with good leads that are supportive Gaining more confidence
Stepping it up filling the void since it needs to done
Doing the work even if others are not satisfied show up, help don't just criticize
Thankful for growing qnd

He woke up from a crazy dream not able to move.
Anxious about his transplant
Did everything the doctors asked
Now it's a waiting game on the sidelines
Went to work early thinking the schedule was the same I was extra early
Tired of picking up the slack
Last year alienated for having cirrhosis
Thankful for the help still able
Not crippled feeling the pressure
Now staying on top of this work load
Having weird dreams not able to understand
Always determined to do and be better

Let go of those tough times one has out grown no longer holding on to those heartaches the struggle the burden is not worth it you can relive the moment in your mind but as time progress they fade and growing is the process that makes you better. Lost love will be found with true love all the hurt will make you stronger and better for the next. Sometimes too focused on what's going on behind you but not going that way anymore.
Sometimes you meet wonderful people afraid to replace the old but those people don't keep contact or want you. Living for yourself for once not saving room for people that don't want you around. It's hard to make a connection when you have trust issues dealing with fake toxic people that use you take you for granted, don't let them dull your shine.
Moving is hard holding back leads to regret no longer in that vice grips.

So many unexpressed emotions the fear of being seen different. Not too wild or crazy when it comes to being open with others but it's hard to be honest when others are too sensitive. So many dreams that mean something but not sure what they are trying to say. Always doing what I love so there's no time to hate. Listening to music can always express myself but it does help me relate. I think of ways to fit in don't always belong not always liked or a favorite. Bite my lip because I don't want anyone hating me or mad at me. It ***** others think they can walk over me they mistake my kindness as weakness. The music takes me away feelings in lyrics or sounds that give my soul life. Taking me away since I can't always be see with everyone but doing it alone and have grown

A young child watch his parents be consumed
One on drugs while the other an alcoholic
Both with bad habits that would cause a broken home
The week would be fine and he dreaded the weekend
Pay day so this addictive cycle would take its toll on the family
People change under the influence a child watching these behaviors took away from childhood
Feeling useless and not able to help but blaming himself because of his parents even though he did nothing wrong
Worried for them made it hard to focus that he didn't like being home
He got involved with sports even though it was too expensive once season ended
He discovered the track challenged him to get those laps in
His best friend and him would go everyday being in high school self conscience even though all their life they had been heavy set
He jogged the track imagined him going somewhere better different outside his home town things never changed in his city
The more he worried the more he appreciated the track
At the end of the night he'd get home and knock out hard since when I didn't exercise it made sleep hard to do
He knew there was more out there and experienced it
Sharing his world with others wishing they could go see what his eyes saw
His world welcomed everyone even though it was hard for others to accept
He wanted to change the world make a difference but can't carry the burden of the world anymore
Dealing with his own demons that tormented him

Not my business or my problem tried of bad people taking advantage of good people. Always talking about others the coward never says it to tire face. He got loud made an *** of himself and a kiss *** when he needed something. A lost cause acting like everyone owe him for all the drama he caused. Always ignored and exclude but once a favor is needed everything is good

On my day off I wake up to work
but don't have to free for the day
So I lay in bed stare at the ceiling
Thinking deep in thought taking in the vibe
Focused on good things are not bad
Time to reflect and write it all down
Focus on my passion and things I love
Asking what my personal life needs
what needs to be done make time for it
Nice to relax after being in my head
Determined to finish get it done
Ready to be phyiscal give it all
but relaxing have some fun it's past due
Put on music enjoy the sounds
that take me away escape the work routine
Beats that remind me of my youth
A better time that made sense things changed
Can't stay the same forever most adjust and adapt

Training on the beach
The sunshines while the breeze blows
Pushing your body lifting your feet
To keep from sinking in the sand
Hitting the pads and holding pad
The loud smack from the impact
A high punch to the face a strong defense
A low punch to the body bob and weave
Kicks are another dangerous factor
High kicks towards the head be on defense
Low kicks chopping legs pain from shins colliding
Reducing the power of the push from the feet
Hands up block your face elbows to protect the body
Knee strikes are never ending when done correctly
An elbow strike to the face all momentum
Training for the big fight a year round sport

Always working to prove yourself. Bust your *** because it's the right thing to do. He said to be active be more than before. Never settle for average be better than before.
Striving through being honest is easy while lies and complicated people try to bring you down so they won't get in trouble. Always down to work without fear so many people quick to pass the blame instead of owning up and fixing the mistake.
Helping the team even if they don't return the favor. staying positive around toxic negative people.  Some have a bad rep it doesn't matter let your work shine more than what others think. Don't use someone as an excuse to be lazy because you don't see eye to eye or not able to agree come to term. Just focus on the work not obsessing on trying to change on another.

Being called crazy for having a dream only you can see it makes sense in your mind. Having an opinion being different seen as delusional. They aren't helping anyone but themselves why are they talking.
You forgive them and move on because those burdens weigh down your heart. Give yourself peace and closure over holding a grudge. Reading the bible helps fill the empty within. Loving them even if they don't love you back. Staying strong moving through the bad everything will be okay get better. Praying for them because they are set in their ways. Trying to do things with God's way trust the plan. The internal struggle and faith find balance

Another lonely holiday wishing family would get along
Someone is always mad running their mouth
Instead of being close everyone is divided
Can't ask for help or do favors everyone expects something in return
Trying to get something to hold over your head
Seeing a family member be two faced is sickening
Talking bad about a person behind their back being cool to their face
Telling others how to live not living up to false ideals
Practice what's being preached not the exception
Do more for yourself instead of expecting others to do it
Sister with a mouth expecting respect insulting others
A false leader acting like everyone owes and trying to collect
Wishing the family could get along
Share a meal not exclude a sibling due to unresolved issues
Talk to one another instead about each other
Boundaries are set being respectful
Doesn't get your way or change things
Trying to control others stop imposing
Take control over your life first
Stop thinking you know what's best for others
While your situation is not organized

The 10 hour shifts got to him he wasn't surprised anymore. He just stopped caring and did what needed to be done. The language barrier kept him out but he made the most of the situation. He'd rather work than pretend to understand what everyone was saying but after a while he stopped caring. He went numb the people he valued made him feel like nobody.
Another day of proving himself and not backing down. He made it fun made the most of things now a days it didn't matter just get it done and go home. From being fun to being mocked not able to do anything. He got quiet and let them talk eventually those mouthy people would get caught up in their own foolishness.
The numb mind blocked it out feeling nothing showing no emotions. It was all his he took instead of waiting for it to circle back around. Everyone talked big but no one did anything about it.

***** how you cant have an opinion
They'll try to silence you for being different
If you disagree every attack gets personal
Over a joke or asking a question
Talking about change but no one wants it
He didn't argue they'd change the topic of discussion
Jumping labels manipulating the conversation
Titles with false sense of empowerment
Debating trying to dictate the narratives

He was tired of all these rules and demands to be accepted they wanted him to change but they did nothing to change. He preferred to be alone but they called him a rebel since they thought isolating him would be a punishment.
He was use to being alone and didnt care to be corrected for having an opinion. Being told how to act was annoying he was responsible for himself. They tried to modify him when they did worse acting like their way was the best way.
He chose to be a man of God trusting his way on God time and plan. He struggled because minding his mouth was hard since everyone kept coming at him. He minded his business while everyone kept talking when they shouldn't even be saying anything.
A bunch of nobodies talking like they are somebody. Instead of owing up quick to pass the blame.

I thought we could be together but you always rely on your friends but seem to tell me your troubles. I gave my honest opinion even though you are another person with your friends. You are like two people. I've learned to distance myself because you can't be your own person or be the person I thought. I valued the good times but need to stay away. You are strong independent but you are dependent on you peers that doesn't make sense but that's the reality. Always seen eye to eye but now we don't talk and from friends to strangers.

Fell out with friends use to be close
It doesn't mean, I don't love is over
Miss them moments when we'd hang
Sometimes the pride changes everything
Ego kills friendship no forgiveness
Numbs the love between people
Buds become enemies divided by a grudge
The safe space becomes a war zone
Wrote the drama down reflected life
If we could talk one more time
Grab a burger catch up forget the BS
Life is hard how's it treating you
Felt like a protector had to take a step back
I'm proud watch you grow from a distance
Walked away you don't need me anymore
Learned to be okay with that crazy

Whats the problem? What's on your mind? Questions I've been asking myself. How can I do this better. Focused more on improving bettering your situation. Getting older feels like lots of time being wasted about to turn 40. Young at heart with the old man mentality.
Having a good time remembering the good old days. Lost in the present fear of the unknown. Taking it one day at a time not overthinking.
Slowing down remaining calm the athlete within refusing quit. A fighter with all heart that got him through the tough training and hard moments. Head down plow through the roadblocks

He worked hard didn't get the job about to experience some down time. Tough times during this transition all the pain all the frustration. Didn't want it to change but everything is happening so rapidly. Lost the girl who was never loyal projecting her guilt on you. Friends in bad relationships not making time for this friendship. Trying to be happy others are miserable.

Sitting in a crowded room the loudness, but muted it all out. Kept on writing not like the rest use to being out of the loop. Once inside its the worse. He gets ignored when asked for his opinion. Not everything he says is gold but it's insulting to talk and see their not interested ****** expression.
Everything changed not for the better its hard to understand. This confusion hard to comprehend with other outside factors that don't add up.

He stood in the room with his oppressors
Not listening or interested in their opinion
He didn't acknowledge them because they shut him out
Trying to tell him how to act and who to be
When he did nothing wrong
This wasn't the first time
He never said anything about them
They called him ghetto and delusional
He forgave them this time he'd cut the cord
He learned his lesson this time around
They didn't talk to him he was use to being ignored
He was use to their worse so he wasn't surprised anymore
They had way more going on it didn't make sense why they came at him
They never helped quick to make things seem worse than what they are

Walked away the anger was draining
Frustrated with everything
Taking back some control
Lost himself trying to please others
Spoke up everyone got defensive
He went with the flow got *******
Always helping getting accepted
Never got helped back or expected it
Once he said No they turned on him
If he couldn't had a prior commitment
Made it seem he never contributed
Treated different tone changed
The tension overwhelming
Not faking everything is well
Pretending we are cool when its shady
If a favor wasn't honored

Douglas was getting older he learned to appreciate life, after a few bad relationships. Never put your happiness in the hands of others That's your responsibility that's what he told himself. He loved people who didn't love themselves and they would mess with his mind making him hate himself because there was nothing he could do to please or make them happy.
Eventually he went cold turkey and walked away from these people that would make him doubt himself and his judgment. The friends he had would bad mouth him but this bad boy rep did him some good more than damage.
Also learning friends, don't talk about you behind your back. He respected them enough to say it to their face. His honesty would **** people off but it was out of love because he cared.

Feels like time is running out
Always starting over from the bottom
Focused on the top tired of being kept out
Not always where I belong trying to figure it out
Working twice as hard to barely come out even
Done what's right things don't turn out right
Made mistakes never hear the end of them
Far from perfect and no where near perfection
Learned and growing results are not showing
Happiness within is not enough struggle within is tough
Gave my all came up short crazy to come back for more
Work hard to shut them up not lettting up
they find an excuse to run their mouth
Tearing myself a part within changed my ways
Not falling back into bad habits or looking back

Things have changed never the same from how he remembered them. He sees his parents they have white hair. His best friend married and kids. He seen more for himself but ended up being an average joe. He went to college, but things didn't panel out accordingly. After a unhealthy relationship, he decided to stay single better himself.
He took detours and the scenic route eventually arriving to his destination. Lots of falling but he kept getting up. Tried came up short  learn from his failed attempts. He kept an open mind willing to learn grow as a person.
He thought his best friend would stay close; they'd get old together, but all they did was grow apart living different lives wanting opposite from one another. Once he sobered up the world seem, so different; a clean mind made him listen observe things didn't always appear what was being said.