Been eatting healthier and feeling rewarded
Investing in myself turning things around
Meeting new ppl being a better me
Writing more ideas out
Reading for inspiration
Got more hours at work
Hoping to get it back do more
Get more out off life
Not being selfish but know what needs to be done
Taking pride in all aspects
No more compromise for less
Aim to be the best live be more

Idk my purpose or destiny
Ive always felt I played a major role
I can change the world make it a better place
Not trying to be anyone but me and much more
Everyday I surpass negative people I dont let their attitude bring me down.
I dont let my struggle consume me
I've always been me rise above it all
Im fighting back flipping off those doubters
The haters who tried to keep me down
Those who told me I couldnt I see them and plan to destroy them with my success.

My heart beats like metal drums
Get it myself cant rely on anyone
Punk attitude full of rebellion
Give it my all even if its not enough
Grew up tough no need for tough love
Rise above the struggle escape be free
Drive fast into the future
dont look back race towards better
Not slowing down for the past
Live in the moment seek opportunities
Better than the rest never settle for less
Stay calm focused write your story
Dont let someone else's sad story set you back

My 1st relationship wasn't with the girl I loved or anyone special. I was young and dumb into the casual life style.
This one night stand turned into a 13 month nightmare. I learned to love even though at the time I didn't love myself. My brothers death and a pervious romance had me sour and bitter.
We dated even though it wasn't what I wanted she wanted it to be us but later she wanted me to be about her.
I tried to end it on many occasions but she wouldn't take it's over them she made a suicide threat so I stuck around. I died inside started to shutdown. Her insecurity and possessiveness eventually took its toll.
The summer rolled around the corner and we departed. I healed and needed to recharge my battery. I returned home this is a college relationship I might add.
It was over but she managed to manipulate her way back. One last night together that made it officially over. I got accused of being with someone else. Turns out this girl has a summer fling and trying to play the guilt card.
I'm not saying I won't ever date I just don't want to bother dating. Enjoy life and experience new. The best part of life is the story.

The water hits body
Soapy Sudds cleansing
Shampoo for hair
Conditioner keeps it from going everywhere
Hot water steam
Feels so good you could sing
Scrub fresh and clean
Don't forget to brush your hair
Most of all refreshing breath
Clean teeth and mint fresh floss
Dry the wet with a fluffy towel
Stay clean till the next time you have to shower
Cleanse the mind soul and body

My personal life is not that interesting that's why I participate or watch sports. I use to coach I can't always be at my best but I like to help others strive for it. I don't like to argue I like to get things done.
As a trainer I don't care as long as you try it takes repetition to get better and building on top of what your doing.
I've showed ppl how to do so but they have to want to do so. Diets important but it is killer because learning discipline is hard watching what you put in your body!
Cutting back on sweets and ratting more greens makes a difference and could produce rapid results.

the burdens build up on my heart im a bad boy gone good. Ive learn to move forward stop dwelling on the past never stay down is my the new motto i use.
Working hard so i can better my life I may not get love but love what I do. Writing is my great escape leading me towards closure with time healing those wounds. My mind says keep moving my heart doesnt want it to end but the reality is its over.
Making plans to be better with success and doing what makes me happy I do have time conflict but theyll workout eventually.

Everyday is a struggle climbing to the top
Over all the disrespect others have
I don't want anyone speaking on my behalf
Betrayed but still haven't lost faith
Mind moving towards ideas that sound right
Others assume crazy instead of different
I'm tired of feeling abandoned crying over love
The one I want I cannot have
She married someone else gave the life I wanted to someone else
Not hurt but moving forward
Once destroyed everything nothing mattered
Trying to pursue the life I see and want
The life that will take to new places.
Moving in the wrong directs
More setback and detours falling is alway easier than climbing back up
The courage and strength lost recreating and rebuilding a new imagine
Take old ideas sometime start with scratch fresh new beginnings forget the old.
Nothing goes right find what feels right and make it work

Wake up some where to go
Some where to be feels just right
Reasons to sleep instead of being up all night
Get dressed look your best impress yourself
Others will believe in you do the same
Be well known others want to know your name
Take pride in yourself respect yourself
What's best for you others might want the same
Don't let anyone guilt make you feel shame
I'm the type who sticks out in the crowd
Mind my mouth not afraid to get loud
Funny guy that makes others laugh
Be around good vibes or just stay away find your place
Change the looks on the haters faces
Look at them without a blink
Don't let them think they could bring you down
Stay up life is a gain with nothing to lose
Success is the way if you choose

It feels great to be back on the mats doing jujitsu not use a GI but I'm picking up on everything. I want to get my black belt and compete in tournaments
I've been feeling change because of it eating better, cutting back, regaining flexibility, waking up muscles recalling muscle memory.
Getting into patterns learning to execute moves better; I may not be one of the best, but I give my best so everyone gets better.
Competing with blue belts is another level but I see myself just as good or better. I'll earn their respect I don't expect them to give it to me.
I'd like to teach class one I get my skills down share my craft. I'm doingit for me but if others benefit that's a bonus. I'm glad to make it happen

Writing is the voice
Silence has become a choice
Work behind the scenes
Avoiding the mainstream
Chewed up spit out
Want to make it need a new way out
Told to do this
Be that doesn't matter
Not where things need to be
Don't quit never let up
Keep doing it all the haters will fade out
Believe in love those who have it appreciate it
Part of the dream all the wrongs a right
Now a days wrong is right
Doesnt make sense don't agree but respect it
The chances ruined try to steal your moment
Take what's your eventually all the bad tunes out
Happiness fades out the wrong
In the darkness where it belongs

I took a late night jog
It cleared my mind pf insanity
Listening to loud music
Memories burning and crashing
Free my mind and body of imprisonment
Stressed and over worked attending all I've been neglecting
Blinded by love other distractions I have no control over
Meeting fast easy women trying to settle down
Now im moving forward avoiding all the wrong
Not the scapegoat for my friends who leave their families to blame me
Back to the single life only I can make myself happy I know better then to rely on anyone
Confidence in myself is more important then finding it in another person
Sharing worlds is hard becoming one means giving up part of yourself

I don't do things for no reason, there's a reason for every action. I dislike when others make excuses when they know the consequences and repercussions for their actions.
Ppl know why they cheat why say I love you if you are going to ***** that person over
They also know when they lie the worse I'd when they are caught in a lie and continue to do so
Don't care for hypocrites don't say your not going to do something and go doing it
Drugs are for the weak medicating yourself to escape reality truth is you made it that way
Ppl who drink the liquid courage to run your mouth drunk only if you had a spine to say it sober maybe I'd respect you.
You think as ppl get older they would know right and wrong the worse is when they ***** up and have the nerve to blame others for their faults.

Find courage to speak
Always holding back
Others judgement like a whip lashing flesh
Treat others as equals but taken lightly
Put haters in their place
Make way to success
Stupid look on their face
Voices make stomach turn
Anger within starts to burn
Ruin others happiness
Misery is circulating like blood
Stay away don't burden others
Trouble those treat leass than *****
Act innocent ingnore all th hurt deal

i just want to be me; dont tell me how to live
other chose to be gay but that all i have to say
seperated by church and state how could people have faith
republican democrate the economy is tanked for everyone
skin shouldnt matter or if you are fatter
all entitled to rights and live lifestyles
even if they don not sound right to others
we claim to have free speak but cant say anything offensive
why cant the world unite all ppl do is talk smack and fight
complain because everyone wants to be right
losing track of the truth lke a blindsight
people choose a career over marriage and kids
you can mix it up but others wont let you live it up
the life you live and all you give everyone will be happy
once they love themself and find the style that makes them the individual
makes them unique not like the rest in this contry
be whoever you want everyone is different aiming to be the best

I dont like being ignored eventually I'll get caught up in my life and you'll want back in.
I care for you but you broke me I had to heal and forget you it was hard.
One morning I woke up saying never again will I empower the hurt you caused me. Ive worked up the confidence to start new. Not looking for anything just making my life better. I havent given up on love just hoping the right girl finds me.
ive been enjoying my favorite movies and feeling like myself. Loud music driving fast and maling time to write it helps me find peace within.

*** appeal no big deal
Treat other right with respect
Could be better always whatever
Don't neglect but respect yourself
Others will do the same no more pain
If not want the same relieved more to gain
Everyone equal treated the same
No more ppl being used or mistreated
Lose the feelings of being defeated
Rise and over come keep trying
Only way to be held back taking NO
Not the right answer keep bouncing back
Been doing it for so long feels natural and right

Reinventing myself again
Im not meant to be a step dad
Over dating girls who have a child
Cutting ppl out I seen them as awesome
Too bad they **** and sti k on stuff they can't change
Ive begged and pleaded no one listens
Mad at me over some girl who dont want you
Girls who dont take me serious but get mad once im over them
Ive never been one to kiss *** I did what I can to make it right
You cant let go that's on you
I apologized you can't forgive thats on you
By rejecting my apology I took it as go **** yourself
I thought how maybe its my fault but I dont deserve to be treated like ****
Dating ***** getting to know all the wrong ppl
Id rather be alone then stressing over being with someone who dont love themselves
Never emotionally available when I find them attractive
It ***** when I make my way no one care or believes in me
Ive been angry and jealous I go out if my way and nothing
I know ppl who dont try and blessed for days
Im working for mine
Putting in time to better myself
I never think anyone is better than me just different
I can have any girl just have to be confident
Im use to reject the think that mind rapes me is when a person completely changes on you.
Thinking one way but acting another way

over looking at the bad focused on the good
too bad im motivated to escape the hood
in and out of this ***** im better off without
over letting the haters fill my mind with doubt
im going to be the best i see that for myself
others make excuses learned to go without
ive been there done that i need new ****
you could quit make me look better
while you keep doing bad why you mad
keep on bumpin keep on finding the sound
im going to walk this town head high
well known all around just be myself
shes my type well see what happens
and if i get what i want and like

I stare in you eyes
See a story you want to share
Why do you hide
Many sides I do not know
It's okay to let it show
Only when you chose to grow
The yes do not lie
It's natural to cry
Window to the soul
Love offers a sparkling glow
Blink or wink tell me what you think
Eyes grab interest eyes see the way guide you through the day

Many times I move up but not satisfied
My mistakes always held over my head
Others do dumb stuff and admired
I get told I'm doing wrong but you do the same and much worse
My credit is stolen others ride the coat tail
I work extra hard just to get by
I don't expect a hand out eventually it will be mine
I should be this and should be that
But it never happened not going to cry about it
Eventually ill take control of things
Don't use me to get what you want
I'm willing to help but you prefer to ***** others over
One more time I'm getting back up after being knocked down
Coming back is hard but will be done
I have a to do list and will achieve my goals
Ill cross them off my list and won't stop till I have them and happy
I use to fear be alone but half the time I'm by myself
Do things make it happen be the change I want to see

Standing tall take on all challenges
Ready to over come this opponent
The next obstacle so I can achieve greatness
Take this test win be the best and better
Every punch you comeback for me
They try to trap you on the mat you escape
Give them your all and some more
The body weak and sore but loves every minute on the mats
They throw a punch you come back with power
Refuse to lose or stay down never quit
Choke outs submissions regardless of pain never give in escape to survive
Gain a win to stay alive

heart beats with passion
soul glows with compassion
The day of terror is over
New beginnings start when things end
Let go of useless memories of the past
They hurt you don't want to lose connection
Every hurt and lost should have meaning
In reality it's meaningless
It no longer exists but real to the heart
The mind wants to believe it could be relived
Holding on to it like its hope
Let go find something worth lacking onto
With reason purpose that makes you feel equal
Gives you pride and strength when you feel weak
Don't use failure to change
be inspired to change
Stop blaming yourself start over like the day

Your nobody to judge me I regret empowering your ignorance. Ive done more then you could imagine. It might not show but your not worth my time. Ive always helped others while you judge them
Im tired of all my down falls and setback I just want to be free of all the burden. Id love but im usually the other guy. Im not a player but know the game. I work for mine tired of thing being taken away of abandoning me.
Ive been on my own since 17 not trying to please anyone I follow rules no one is the exception to me everyone is equal I dont car who you are ir who you know if you have no respect you mean nothing to me
Im not mad just mad everything keeps me out I have to bust my *** work twice as hard to be accepted. My efforts get knock thats what ****** me off or when im finally made it someone else rains on my parade.
I want to argue and yell but my mouth gets me in trouble and the other person is blessed while my efforts go to **** and hit rockbottom
I feel these blocked out emotions resurfacing even though those moments have past. I over think it gets to me or makes me want to make a dramatic change

Thinking about my social life or lack of one
I hide with work keeping busy my job gives me enough hours but not enough to make me full time
I jumped into the vicious circle I called dating
Ive met beautiful women but their insecurity makes me doubt myself
Ive lost so much respect I admire ppl but if they dont think highly of themselves why am I praising them
Everyone has a struggle take on the fear dont play the victim just know someone else has it worse
I respect what I do why should I give and settle for less. I was never 1st pick why should I settle I found away things arent always in my favorite. Ive done things others have never tried been place othets have never been
Its just mind blowing how others try to tell me or look down on me.
I bust my *** for mine while others are handed everything I work for.  I'll never kiss *** or give up alwaus detoured or side tracked with bs that has nothing to do with me
I walk away because I might say something I might regret so I do mind my mouth I dk the situation or the whole story so why jump the gun.

That day you find out there's someone else
It makes you question your every being
You want to change but you find you can't change others
Think of all the wrong and trying to be good
Or doing bad since there's no benefit in being good
You want to know why but there's no explanation
Been loyal and true turns out your cold and blue
I looked out while you stabbed my back to get to my heart
The though of you is disappointment not bother with you
Take your guilt feel it instead of dumping it on others
The day I changed was the day my heart beats with you out of my system
Your like an ad ducting I've over come because you make me weak and burn me out

I've down played my ego changing everyday
Not listening to any other voices but my own.
Not into the drama or rigged games
I spent my time away instead of wasting away
I give it to god he will provide no need to hide stay true
Others can be cruel even if they don't know you
I let the bad fade away start to make my own way
I've learned to love it's hard to trust
I forgive but it's hard to forget hate being stuck living with regret
One more time on my own this time I survive and grow.

I like to help others but its hard when they are set in their ways
I have no choice but to stay away I give it to god and pray
Not trying to change anyone but I worry
Id like to express my concerns
Not trying to hurt you
But help get rid of your pain
Im no better or trying to offend
Get through the struggle
Live and enjoy life

So I had this doucher crtic get on my case about my writing
Sometimes I write thoughts or ideas out
How I write and what I do with my writing is my business
I've always tried to be positive and have empowering thoughts
Saying what no one dares say
I'm not judging others creativity I'm respectful
I bounce around ideas they are like lego pieces
Everything connects for something greater
If not one statement will make a difference id like to believe
If not I tried my writing helps me have a voice
I don't have anyone to turn to but that's my business
Just write don't care how its done just get it out

Getting ready for the day taking the kiddo to school
I'm listening to music to get me pumped about the day
Writing because I'm at peace things are well
I want a rush but its a temporary fix that fades
I don't think about her as much
Tired of missing people who don't want to be part of my life
Work is great I just do what needs to be done
I've been planning a date night
Making me time or hang with someone special
I'm one who loves and willing to do so
No one accepts I'm not lowering myself to be accepted
I smile more for once things feel right
I laugh because others actually have a sense of humor
Thankful for everything and the little things

I cant hate myself because of you
Your insecurity and indecisive acts will not influence my emotions
Ive grow why you stay the same
You play your games I pursue destiny
You're one big lie  time to say goodbye
It feels I must destory your memory
Forgetting because all we had was not meant to be
Live and learn find someone who appreciates me
Supportive not trying to compete with
Encouraging not poison the mind with doubt

Guys like me are overlooked
I do my best for change
Break the mold so I'm not forgotten and left out
Not sure what to say or do
I'm honest and truthful and get no respect
Give it my all to receive disrespect
Better then those talking
Alway seen as a threat without trying

Worried so much about making mistakes
Holding back don't want to be judged
Or talked about made a fool of
Give to others do good deeds never enough
Accused of being a cheater been nothing but loyal
Make in the world fear of failure
Not be held back over come obstacle
Doing what matters over wasting time
Dream big but not going too far
Gave up drinking sober living
So much contradiction from others
Dealing with hipocrites being noble and honest
Staying home write stay out trouble Friday night
So hard to be normal
living on a bubble walking egg shells

ive been going back to a better time
collecting comics because it was a hobby when i was a child
i got a hacky sack it reminds me off my college days
******* wrestling fan rocking my tees
ready to go back to jui jitsu get my black belt
play a guitar making music release my soul through the sound
write to get it all out since i dont always have some to talk with
i dont quick making the comeback
learned to stay come not overreact
live strong be strong
be tough when things go wrong

Never considerate about my thoughts how I feel
Now you're reconsidering my hard work efforts
Overlooked now being looked for opportunity
Been ready sitting on the back burner
Learned to be sure of myself better than not know
Showing more emotions instead of waiting about to go off
Not listening to teens not listening to Thor who have a vote of no confidence
All the haters hate them self trying to make me feel the same way
I don't do that anymore stop trying to bring me down with you
Fighting in this struggle too my hypocrites talking please shut up stop talking
Sometimes you can't make it move aside be inspired by the ppl moving up
Stop hating trying to keep them back
Mad because they found someone should've treated them right or they wouldn't be with someone else

Im over shelter bad ppl they justify do wrong as right. I did learn to respect rules even if I disagree others think they are the exception
You want to make ppl hate you call them on their bs. I wish I didnt give a **** but others stupidity runs while and they think they could disrespect everything and everyone.

She's asks do I look fat
Not sure how to respond
Sounds like trouble
She stands in the mirror noticing flaws
Waiting to got while she still decides
On a wardrobe to hide
Those imperfections in her mind
Waiting and late
Her beauty take time
Waste some of mine
Make up just right
Her hair set for the night
Not trying to argue or fight
Still not ready still not going
Can't fight fate we are still late
We are ready now we could go out
Enjoy this late date night out

All I do is write that's the way I fight back
Not listening don't tell me how to act
Said it to your face not behind your back
One on one but you attack in a wolf pack
Id plot revenge but you ***** yourself
Not wasting my time and lowering myself
You talk about others your no better
Over listening to your same routine
Staying away keeps me sane
All these jerks who kept me down during the struggle
Now I'm standing tall no where to be found
Idiots talking just to be heard  no one cares sorry
Playing the victim when your the one burning others
Preaching a life style you don't live freaken poser
Getting outline alcohol in your system sober up that tone will change

Woke up rested ready to do my thing
Excited this week is over
Like the idea of back to back days off
Thinking of movies to buy for my collection
Minding my business doing what makes me happy
Im glad to be outta the gunk
Not living in denial being with someone who deserve me
I want the best and to be one of the best
Taking care of myself not giving up on myself because some insecure girl didnt want
Its her losss not looking back
One day be with the right girl
someone who appreciates me
Be patient and stop looking
My mind is clear focused on writing
Getting into my workout
These may not be serious to others but everything to me
Im debating on a jog while i write
Plus I work in a few

I don't kiss *** but I do bust my ***
Id rather be ahead instead of coming out even
Thankful for everyday tomorrow:  get the day off
Its been a while since I've had time to myself
Thinking of ways to change up the same old routine
Everyday is a new day id like thing to change not sure how
Following the rules doing everything right
watch others cut corners and do wrong
Too legit to quit its not going down or back
Focused on the future hoping things change for the better

Don't want the girl who's damaged
She always belong to someone else
Spent time with you till she found someone better
She finds you great when you have someone new
Temper to cheat but it won't be anything more
Love her more when someone calls her a *****
Shares her body but no emotions
Intoxicating personality hard to live without
Live without her everything don't feel right
Nothing to offer or give feels like you'll never win
Happiness that warm feeling like a light
Burns out find the strength to revive
Find a new world to survive

Silence in the night feels alright time to write
In late hours I create many untold stories
I write on thi page Facebook and journal
The voice in my head always knows what to say but speaking my thoughts is a weakness
I've thought of all the possiblities and outcomes but not sure what path to pursue
I've noticed bad behavior is rewarded but if It was me there would be consequences or I'd be let go for my actions or remarks.
I've been treated unworthy of respect but earned my way showed I'm worthy but always start back at step one not exactly where I see myself being.
The ppl I've admire self discipline respect not my crowd but looked past their differences where mine are used to hang me playing factors against all the good.
I gave up trying to please ppl and being someone I'm not has made things easier for me. It's dead weight off my shoulders. I left things but will return its not my time yet. I've always had confidence just pacing rushing burned me out.
The next level I know and feel I should be there but maybe I was there but so focused on my mistakes and setbacks.

The more I do the less things ****
I do great and go unnoticed
Make one tiny mistake everyone knows
I pour my heart and soul in what I do
If its not enough eventually ill get fed up
Take myself where I can be appreciated
If its not with her or my friends
I always wonder where I can go and be
A place to call my own
A place that feels like home
I like to have fun blow off steam
Tired of feeling kept out
busting my *** to be in the same spot
It feels like I have nothing but working hard
Break through so my greatness will shine
Tired of being overlooked for something less
Underrated meant to be the best stuck with less

I want to do more with writing
Make money in my passions
I wanted to.be an mma fighter but injuries take time to heal
Coaching was fun but the politics an favortism got old
Years of giving my all coming up short
I asked what can I do to move up they gave advice to the guy next to me
Refuse to stay down and out
When others leave I move on better off with out
If you leave that's on you I'll be around
If not I hsve to live and pursue my life
I hate not knowing living in doubt
No regret but hard to forget

Ready for the next level over the routine
The time calls for refreshing change
Its easy to mistake lust for love
Find the right person build off a friendship
Someone you trust and be yourself around
Pursue your dreams with someone who's supportive and understands
Find balance instead of sacrificing one over the other
Make them work if they are meant to be

I remember the day
She sang that song
Every note sounds right
Her voice touching my heart
Beauty ringing in my ears
Passion in her voice
The world stood still
Just for my ears only
The lyric of the song had more meaning
I think of her everytime it plays
Sad days turn to better days
Thinking of the day she sang
A duet hard to forget
The voice that sings on in my memory

Getting through the choas surviving all these unsettle emotion
The rage from the past comes into the light
Did everything ends up being wrong
I pray to come out strong and whatever
Better off without over feeling shut out
Try to keep it simple road blocks full of complication
Venting out frustration much needed closure
Thought long term everything was short term
Thought how can I change when I've progressed
All I wanted to do is get past being broke
Not a joke others can keep down for long
Its ***** she's gone like must be hatd as a single mom
The way it ended ticking time bomb
Not ready but willing to try
The hurt inside stay strong don't give up and die

Head up escape judging eyes
They see the change
Try to make you back
There's no going back
The person before no longer here
Take your naive ways else where
Not the same how you precieved
Evaluate yourself before criticizing others
Love one another not coming between us
The life you live nothing to offer
Let it be known
you can't bring me down with you
Not the same don't you get the clue

I want someone who can stimulate my senses
Her scent so refreshing when she is near
Her skin so soft the lightest touch
The sound of her soothing voice in my ear
The taste of her lips against mine
When we are together everything is fine
No one matters but her my eyes locked on her beauty
I'm the only one for her and the only one who truely matters
Her hand in mine we stand together
Be honest with love andd trust your heart
Lost gazing in her eyes that sparkle
She holds you with warm and passion

I dont care for for ppl who lie
Dont say you like me but want to be with someone else
Dont tell me its over and keep going
Stop pretending to be my friend if you talk about me behind my back.
Dont make me look bad to make yourself look good.
So over all that ive cut ppl out of my life
Its lonely but not wasting my time with ppl who can't be trusted
Sick of being backstabbed my kindness mistaken as weakness
im open and honest why do you lie