Drinking calmed his nerves
Women his poison of choice
Hatred repeating more than twice
Raised his voice wasn't taken seriously
The love wasn't real everyone so fake
He thought they changed for the better
Behavior way is worse than imagined
It's really bad that's who they are

Taking risks and lost it all
Still crazy enough to come back
Can't get enough wanting more
Haters don't try and hate on you
Doing nothing expecting something
Put in the time to earn your place
Another mad face in the way
No time for drama it's pay day
Worked for mine earned every cent
Taking credit for work not done
makes no sense always on offense
Liars defensive scam and planning
Working to win focused on greatness
Tired of all cheaters piggybacking
Never accepted by family standards
Only rejected by made-up rules
Being myself not what someone said
Winning even when narrative is false
Twisted words fueled by manipulation
Trying to infect others' perspectives
Traditions not in your best interest
Pushing limits rising up a level
Being restricted feeling stuck
It's hard to move, not able to breathe

Worked hard so I can forget my drama
Now work is full of insanity all the games
Never let things get to me over all the frustration
Something I once loved now the joy is gone
Been doing it for too long now it feels wrong
Time for a change need to turn the page
Look in the mirror white hairs starting to age
From working hard to get ahead
To feeling stuck and getting worked
Not the same over come this hurt and pain
Who I was vs who I've become still not done
Had a plan but faced many detours
Change it up to escape this insanity
So worked up in my mind want to yell
Scream real loud with all my being
Keep at it but had enough it's so tough
Once loved it all but don't want to do it anymore
Gave my all went ******* not what I want
Another uphill fight I'll never win, ready to walk away
Overlooked skipped over no need to stay
Walk with God I pray he helps me get through the day

He was being social reaching out to old peers hoping that he could chat it up be himself. It was fun to catch up instead of being kept out. Taking on bad attitudes not feeding into bad vibes.
Motivation by the uninspired when around them. With the overachievers not feeling on that level working twice as hard behind the scenes working in private.
Being positive around negative people staying out of the drama being more private but feeling isolated by those that he cared for not feeling like an equal among them.

He entered the building ignoring his bitter employees focused on doing the work. A lead that pretends to care but all about himself. Every lie hurt his ears he got tired of listening doing his part and going home. That was his new mindset work with his given time then went home.
He was the overachiever in an underachiever. He took pride in his work while most settle gave up with no ambition. Everyone talking about each other but he wanted no part of that nonsense and craziness.
The betrayal was real not going back if the opportunity was real. He set boundaries and everyone looked at him like he was crazy.  
His health came up when he was sick he'd cover now they are saying he can't do his job now that he is better. It's the two faced people with their condescending tone that was extremely is exhausting.

He would drink energy drinks they became a comfort when he quit consuming alcohol. He realized they aren't right for him from one bad habit to the next. He didn't want a one night stand.
He was all in or nothing things never turn out the way he imagined. They usually played out accordingly. Heart broken and confused. Knew he wasn't the one but one of many.

Some days are fine or days my thoughts are stuck in a loop. Hard to breathe trying to compose myself sometimes it feels like my mind is slipping away. The time goes slower than normal. Hard to relax feeling tense and unable to rest so restless. Fresh air hits my face a sense of feeling sometimes the world around feels grey and dark. Trying to connect years of being rejected and disconnected. Things don't make sense to me but no one seems to get or understand my way or thought process. Heart racing beating in my throat. Taste of stomach acid in my mouth.

Wide awake at the fork in the road
Don't want to lose anymore
All the frustration all the rapid change
Can't take it anymore not the same
Things aren't pure feeling less genuine
They don't care about you
Covering their *** treating you bad
Never had your back expecting it all
Could only do so much in a rush
Trying to slow down on the go
Missing out on life working too much
Had some fun with the wrong crowd
Single living not the same grew up
Having down time overthinking
Not alone others can relate
Won't admit lost in pointless affairs

In his mind that moment he seen it
But knew what needed to be done
He loved the sport wanted to add
His influence be part of it of it
The training to make it to the next level
Taking time making them steps
Going through the motions
Slowing it down being smart
Taking calm trying not to over react
Laying on his back trying to see it
Imagine himself doing it with finesse
Doing it right staying focused on the game

Dating was not the same, some want the perks. while back in the days, you had to earned the nookie. Not trying to rush, but can't be waiting around. Thought it was real turned out to be an act. The mask came off the person I loved doesn't exist. A sick of twisted game, so much hurt with the pain is real.
Talked about kids had a scare you talked about an abortion denied the right to be a father. Talked about marriage a failed attempt to save a lifeless relationship that was at the end. Trying to make it work when it was clearly over.
Long distance wouldn't work could barely function in the same room. Life can be cruel one was loyal and true while the other was sabotaging a good thing that became

Asked a question
It doesn't sound right
Trying to follow the logic
Moral code set in place
Not letting others dictate
Did the work didn't complain
Looked out spoke out wasn't heard
Excluded kept out avoiding drama
Change and turn the page
Still learning and growth is desired
Not taking on the settling ego
Never settle for average be more
Hasn't happened yet in the works

Called a lost cause for finding my own way
Not a follower and do not like crowds
Quick to point out the flaw then focus on the good
Rather be happy for a solution creating another problem
Not a yes man but definitely not trying correct anyone or change anyone
Respectfully disagree but willing to learn and understand
Just because you reject don't give anyone the right to judge or put others down for their different situation
Most dk what is right for themselves, how can they say what's best for others

The love for family is strong
It's more than a pretty picture
You need to put forth effort
Don't complain or get jealous
When you get asked
But refuse to participate
It could be fun give it a chance
Don't let your bad attitude
Ruin a fun moment for others
How do you expect others to know you
When you close them out give the 3rd degree
Take interest in others
Don't be about yourself
Sometimes the road is lonely
The journey has people
Who love and care for you
You need to meet them half way
Let people be themselves open up
Don't try to force control the moment
Thankful for the new memories
Closer to cousins and new friends
Can't wait around need to live
Especially on borrowed time
Health is not great but still able
Thankful for the help pushing through
Love the team don't want to fail
Trying to do my own thing not lead

I know it's not too late but sometimes I pray things went right went accordingly. It feels awfu being the oldest it *****; you set examples and no one follows amounted to anything. You set trends and criticized now everyone turning a blind eye and doing it. I don't drink but when I did I drank like a fish it was fun. Then everyone joined the party and ruined it for me. I drank for fun while others drank because work ***** or going through a tough time.
As I get older I question my place and where I belong. Learn things and get bored seeking answers found closure so many people frustrate me.

He was done arguing another up hill battle
Walking away so many issues with ppl
Being told how to act
Made out to be someone he wasn't
He would roll with it before
Now he shuts it down not welcoming
Many rumors spread the truth came out
Fighting to be heard deciding not to say anything
And okay with being ignore not the right crowd
Use to being excluded more time to write
Giving too much credit while being deducted
Asked to have an opinion told how to think
It doesn't work like that
It's okay to have a different point of view
Just because it's different different doesn't make it weak
Try to understand before unleashing the vicious wrath of hatred
Better to not say anything or get involved

Jen was over her cousin Ana judging everyone when Ana did way worse. Jen made a mistake or two owned up as well. Ana seem to throw everyone under because she had ***** little secrets that came to the surface. She would borrow money and not pay it back. Causing their grandmother to be sued.
Jen was angry because she loved her grandmother and this coat riding decay would have the nerve to talk after all she's done. She slandered Jens name making her not want to come around. He didn't get why the family believed a liar while Jen was honest and straight forward.
Ana was the worse of the worse she would use people to get her materialistic needs met. If she doesn't gain off or benefit.  she doesn't care about how about anyones feelings. She'd trying to isolate and turn the family.
Trying to take over in rank but definitely did not earn her place. Jen knew it would only be a matter of time till everything came to the light.

Things changed she got dumb and selective about calling. She made it awkward her way or no way he was done with all her rules and over being an option. No more responding to a text or waiting for a call. He made time for her but she could care less. He respected he choices and she made him feel bad about for his. She was not good for him so he decided not to be involved or make time. They are no longer going to be the same and things are not meant to be so not making the same mistakes departing is the best way to go. Best way to go not going back but forward this mistake made one too many times never again. Calming to love but actions tell other wise not waiting not staying time to go so good bye friend

When you see someone you love in a whole new light
The memory not corresponding to the current action.
All the good times turned to bad, failed but glad it happened
From a leader to a follower not the person I use to know
Seen you as strong, we use to bond. now you are weak and submissive.
When it came to me I got the third degree and tough love
Now you crumble before my eyes in my mind asking why
The person I once knew is no longer you
As I grow no longer the same person you once knew
From single to married mother of two
I always wanted you but never saw our future in that light
Failed and broken at the end of the night
When I was single you always belong to someone else
The time I was in a relationship you were single and expressed interest
Put in a situation leave my current relationship
Leave for someone who gave me a chance
For someone I wanted now it could be a reality
Is it meant to be or would guilt consume me over desire that could later scar burnt by misery
Always in my head fear of making the wrong decision both felt right but sometimes things that felt right could lead to making bad a decision.

Training for a fight that may or may not happen. At the park working on drills and conditioning to go the round and the distance. So many outside factors causing a fuss. A job opportunity that seemed promising but hasn't been a pleasant transition. Trying to move up to the next level and maintain keep building up. The idea of starting over is overwhelming.
Giving up the old for new trying to remain the same but everything changes. The mindset and body something are containable while others are a lost cause. Stuck on them wondering how and why things turned out the way they did. Not going back but staying away from that insanity.

The first time they met big smiles on their face. She had curly hair like curly fries. He was charming with a large personality. She was out going and seductive. While he was funny and charming. The day they met locking eyes their was an electric charge in the air. They both had chemistry with one another. She had been in a relationship. The guy was new to the whole experience he always had female friends but it was nothing more. He was use to the friend zone but with her this was a different experience. She was an only child and had lived with her mother. He was the oldest of six and both parents in his life.
They hung out a few times but he was happy to hang with her he didn't expect much but did have feelings. Her personality has her well know because of her athletic background. He liked to work out because it kept his mind sharp. He was a thinker observer and analyzed everything. The puppy love between them grew he was hooked the first time they kissed this kiss was electric full of energy. He was shy but once she brought him out of his shell he was growing developing communication skills since he grew up less fortunate learning to go without. She was spoiled and use to her way. He was nervous because he always thought his past would effect his future. He enjoyed the time they spent together. They would talk about things get to know one another personal deep conversation.  He has a hard time trusting because he had been hurt grew up with tough love. He didn't like the idea of lowering himself to be accepted or giving up who he was to be liked. She admired his courage and would make him feel valued. He did feel for her but he had been hurt in high school. His so called best friend got with his crush. He no longer wanted to associate with people who wronged him made him feel he didn't matter or belong. She told him he would be okay. He was not good with his emotions because his honesty got him hated when all he did wrong was tell the truth. He feared telling her how he felt because he didn't want her to see him differently cause her to change how she felt about him. The beginning is always fun stimulating and romantic getting to know the person what they like and how unique and special those moments could be.

Working harder than most
Never scared not backing down
DIY finding a way to get it out
Rise to the next level trail blazing
Pursue a dream everything mentally
Drained physically fighting to give it life
Others point out the wrong tear it down
Than give credit for doing right
Focused on mistakes drawing blood
Instead of blessing the effort
All the hard work mininalised
Standing tall alone hoping to unit
Trying to bring others together
While the division grows over time
Keeping everyone apart no love

He woke up early for the first time in a while since his sleep patterns where ******* up. He learned a huge lesson he always seen good in others and would stop giving others the benefit of the doubt. They would tell him when he already knew. He did respect them but for some reason
They mocked him and thought he owed them without working for it. He was not entitled but knew he had to work twice as hard to get there when he did strive through they would be bitter rather than be happy for him.

He was always honest around a bunch of liars. Everyone quick to play the victim when they didn't get their way. Once he spoke up he was the bad guy they came at him.
He didn't say anything to them or care to associate anymore. The betrayal hurt making him doubt his judgement. Seeing good in the wrong ppl. Trying to stay sane not lose it feeling like the world is against him.
Trying to be neutral but feeling divided because of everyone's pride and egos that keep conflict going.

Its crazy how being honest gets you hated while lying cheaters are praised for their decietful actions. Before being in relationship meant putting in time get to know a person with a future. Now a days everyone wants the perks of a relationship without any commitment. Parents told kids what to do, now kids are in Charge. Times have changed like most

A heartbreak makes you grow up
Getting fired makes you hustle
Being the man of your destiny
Friends become strangers
Space and time changes everything
Cried inside life's not always fair
Smiled through the tough times
New places to encounter in the moment
Meeting new people with experiences
Changing for the better overcome pain
Can't stay the same growth full of gain
A fight with a cousin that'll never change
Arguing with someone that doesn't know
Talking loud doesn't make you superior Ignoring the truth doesn't make you right
Pushing people away because you're wrong
Makes them walk away from chaos
There's no apology, you'll never forgive
Towards something much more

He worked on his footwork feeling like death was coming after him.
Distracted working drills to stay alive
Keeping his mind occupied sharp
Working with his cousin going through the motions
Life has been rough but staying tough
Around a tough crowd that doesn't get along
Dealing with rejects as he chose to be a social outcast.

Facing yourself everyday toy test yourself
To see if you got it or if you want it still
An older body not recovering right away
From a youthful athlete to an older being
Challenging yourself relying on heart to finish
The older warrior within pushing forward
From the bottom fighting to stay in the middle
Building off what's already know

So back in the days when I was a wild college student. I loved to drink and be very social, according to my coworker who was a high paid secretary said I was a wild child. On my down time when I wasn't being studious my peeps and I would have fun drink and meet girls. I'm over protective of my friends but did be a wing man for my Bros. I had a friend who liked a girl was not too tolerant of her but did down play my ego for my friend. Drinking is fun when people don't hate life or going through a break up feeling sorry for themselves. (Been on both sides) anyway one day the boys and I were drinking with this girl and her friends one was nice dating my friend now that I  recall. and the other was a pain in the *** wanting to be the center of attention. It was easy to block them out alcohol made things fun. Sober me disagrees but what does he know he's a loner. We drank at my friend's apartment a real **** hole but it was better than living in the doors. We would drink jack and coke fun times with the fellas. We got pretty wasted no one ate yet not like we could being struggling college students. This annoying girl decides to say let's get food. Most people don't drink in the morning but this was breakfast of champions. She says "let's get Dennis" everyone puzzled looking at one another *** is this girl talking about. She responds with "you know that place that serves breakfast all day." Ohh.... You mean Denny's sounds good. Let's go....