Most people treasure moments a favorite on that soothes my heart and takes me away. Most date but my first one was special. I asked her out I was surprised she said yes. He warm smile that melted my heart. Her hair curly like curly fries.
I was nervous for the day I bought new clothes kept it fresh. We went out for her birthday to celebrate her. I was honored to share the night with her.
I'd walk to her dorm this was a magical moment in college. We'd walk to the restaurant holding hands talking. I was a gentlemen man so I walked by the street. We would arrive at this restaurant. I didn't make reservations so we sat at the bar; we enjoyed a meal shared a kiss.
We walked back home stopped at a coffee shop. I don't like coffee so I had had hot chocolate. Watched the Live band till our drinks were ready
We'd go back to her room nervous and shy never been alone with a girl before. We'd kiss and lay on her bed then she'd hug me rest her head on my shoulder. We'd talk till she fell a sleep. I'd tuck her in let her rest. Kiss her and Appreciate this night with her everything felt right for once.

Worried about everyone stressing
Trying to stay calm not over react
Stay invested instead of shutting down
Playing off others wasting time
All in for the win giving everything
All the change in a fit of rage
Final chapter shut the book
Open a new book emotionally invested
The beginning drags the middle gets engaging
End is near coming to conclusions
Hard to take it all in expecting more getting less
Lost interest more involved ready to leave

He was a loner so he claimed to be a rebel. He didn't fit into the box and refused to listen because the people who judged them never did anything but work a 9-5. He traveled seen the world but felt like he never had a home. Till one day he found a place to call home where he belonged he didn't feel lost or like he didn't belong. He was blunt and honest because people were always honest with him. He didn't limit himself and never took NO He found away to achieve his goals.

Jim was over dealing with people who asked his opinion and they wouldn't listen. He was over all the crazy that's why he was disconnected.
He cared he got the cold shoulder. The family would include him bring in on the drama. Jim refused to let them bring him down, so he mind his mouth and business.
After a few bad relationships; he chose to be single. Burned by a few friends it was easier to be alone. He didn't want people in his way, or slowing down.

He wanted a life that wanted nothing to do with him. He knew he'd have to earn and work for it since nothing is given. He gave his all at work did his best gave his all. A social person but now a days everyone was into social media and texting.
He liked one on one interaction that was hard to find now a days. He was always honest even if they hated him for it. He respected people with the truth while others dissed him with lies.
The frustration was real things didn't make sense the new standards had lots of taboos and double standards. If he did it he got criticized and judged; while didn't no one said anything. He didn't buy into the hype he questioned it anything he liked got knocked.

He was always honest around a bunch of liars. Everyone quick to play the victim when they didn't get their way. Once he spoke up he was the bad guy they came at him.
He didn't say anything to them or care to associate anymore. The betrayal hurt making him doubt his judgement. Seeing good in the wrong ppl. Trying to stay sane not lose it feeling like the world is against him.
Trying to be neutral but feeling divided because of everyone's pride and egos that keep conflict going.

Use to being alone noticed some have it all, and not happy. Always on the outside looking in accepted not always going to belong, or fit in. Always try to understand before coming to terms with that's how things are with certain people, or events.

If you need a favor just ask, don't play mind games manipulate others to do the things you won't do. Because you didn't get your way making things personal. That mouth keeps running you'll get caught up since you think your way of imposition is better. When you get stopped in your intrusive tracks don't be surprised.
Another false narrative spun in your favor. Adding lies to your statements to place yourself on another level but it doesn't make you a better person.

These moments felt so good but it's time to let go. Live stop living in the past a flashback fades. Memories forgotten and blocked out not there anymore. Fighting to be hear earning respect trying to do good while everyone does bad.
He wanted to do right while being prosecuted by everyone because he wasn't involved in the drama.
He loved his family they are grown men everyone too proud to ask for help if you say NO they are quick to talk bad about you. Gave advice no one listened their way is the only way rather than trust in God's way and God's plan.
What he loved didn't love him back no longer wanting to be part of the world that wronged him. He showed everyone love and respect even though they are going through stuff. Stood his ground didn't give up on himself to be accepted.

Dating it use to be easy you ask a girl out
It was about *** before but it's harder to get to know a person.
Now that you are looking for someone to be your other half share experiences with
The roles have switched times have changed
Women liked men who took charge and preferred to be wined and dined
Now a days everyone wants the perks of a relationship and don't want to commit
No one settles for one love but things being loved by many will last
As I get older it does not get easier sometimes the younger generation are interested and not always a match
Age is just a number but when you feel like your number is being called it's not what you expect
Loyal and true to the wrong people while they accuse you of cheating when they are the ones commiting these decietful acts
Saying I love you to the one feels right when you just say it the word love loses value
Meaningless *** leave you feeling meaningless value lost within from head to toe

Tired of arguing it's a lost cause
Another grudge help against you
You said NO they treat you different
Had an opinion now the conflict is stronger than ever
All this false hope and expectation
Leads conflict there's no respect for one another's differences
Trying to do it your way other peoples ways become roadblocks
No clue what's going on getting all the blame.
Many angered by pain with old hurt
All the extra causing others misery

Its crazy how being honest gets you hated while lying cheaters are praised for their decietful actions. Before being in relationship meant putting in time get to know a person with a future. Now a days everyone wants the perks of a relationship without any commitment. Parents told kids what to do, now kids are in Charge. Times have changed like most

Talking about drama
Making more for yourself
Doing all the things
You said you'd never do
The same mistakes in a loop
Doing wrong trying to justify it
Hurting others blaming them
Doesn't make you right
Talking loud ignoring others
Doesn't mean you're right
Making others look bad
Doesn't make you better
Caught up in lies not credibility
The truth will expose everything

Not everyone is going to be happy for you so do what you love what makes you happy. You made time for it they gave you crap they aren't making or putting forth any effort.
You'd help them but they wouldn't do the same. Its been a growing process putting yourself first and not be seen as jealous or selfish.
Putting on the mitts and gloves felt right working on technique also drilling. Training felt right for once been missing it because of work. Waking up the muscle memory.

Going against the family is the worst because you feel like you let everyone down. The family doesn't realize they let you down on many occasions but turned a blind eye wiped away tears. Stay strong because showing weakness got you stepped on or pushed around.
Family uses humor to insult you but when you use the same tactic they aren't to happy with what's being said especially when it's the truth. Jokes turn into talking **** all of a sudden. Some can't take a joke so they try to get physical or try to insult you with lies making things personal.
Lots of respect for a person who calls you on your ****. It might be tough but it's nice to know someone is paying attention. While some talk and do nothing about it just talk wasting everyone's time.

He wondered if he'd ever be normal again laying in the dark. Elevating his feet because they'd swell up. Waiting for that call from Arizona that 480 area code for a possible donor.
It's sad but the person signed up for it to help others. The person needs to pass in under 45 minutes once the plug is pulled. The ***** is placed in a simulator to produce bile if that works the person waiting has to race to from CA to AZ. Once the ***** is set the person will get a liver as those calls are exciting but draining.
You tell a few people then feel like a disappointment because it hasn't happened yet. Somethings are beyond your control you have no say. He didn't want to miss work, or leave his coworker because work would pile up. He'd come back to a mess.
The problem was they can't get coverage and some complain trying to get his crew in trouble following procedure. They dk how it works but assume the job is easy. Catering to their needs already isn't enough.
Trying to use the union to manipulate everyone while harassing everyone in their little cliques that don't do anyone any favors out for their selfish gain

Trying to change my vibe
so I can feel alive deep within
instead of dead inside revived
About the hustle trying to survive
Told me I couldn't been doing it for sometime
Help save others have a hard time saving myself
Find away not meant to stay onto the next
I use to be mad and angry but all the does is burn me up from the inside
Didn't like confrontation would run and hide
Honest and true some see it as deep and dark
Overcome so much onto new not sure where to start
Always wore my heart on my sleeve
Focused on being positive doing good deeds

On the road on the Go
Who know what was ahead
The team took an L
At their best raising hell
From the bottom to the top
Win or lose going all in
All the rage in and outta the cage
Win together bonding
Lose together growing united
Support for one another
Picking each other up
Striving towards greatness
Working hard to be a legend
Determined to be icon status

Learning to love again after being betrayed
Living separate lives theres no going back
One gave everything it was never enough
The other forcing instead of letting it be natural
Writing to express all those bottled feeling
Confusing thoughts make sense of things
Scared feeling vulnerable with change
Wanting to love freezing up in the moment
Afraid to leave but meant to grow
New moments training for hours
That one moment lasts a few minutes

He woke up early for the first time in a while since his sleep patterns where ******* up. He learned a huge lesson he always seen good in others and would stop giving others the benefit of the doubt. They would tell him when he already knew. He did respect them but for some reason
They mocked him and thought he owed them without working for it. He was not entitled but knew he had to work twice as hard to get there when he did strive through they would be bitter rather than be happy for him.

So many angles he could see the possibilities but the outcome never turned out accordingly so may paths and directions he fears going the wrong way made decisions that seemed right but he was wrong. He didn't want to feel stuck live in regret so much on his mind hard to forget. Sees himself as more but living a life he never thought he'd be living working hard and never giving up. He loves to create he enjoyed the process he sees it and feels it connected so deep and straight to the point. He did it because he loves it and passion about it not in it for the money but if it came its a blessing in disguise keep working hard success is a surprise always making an effort to rise grow within the project and work all this hard work doesn't hurt.

The tripod was not equal one took on more of the load than the rest. He brought ideas most would be denied or rejected. He got tired of being denied and rejected so he left and did his own thing. He took time to figure it out. He would remain determined he didn't have anything in his favor.
He kept working and writing while everyone worried about the public front they put on. He didn't care who was watching but did focus on writing and what he wanted to say for the topic. He always wanted to inspire and encourage others since no one heard his story because everyone wanted to Shadow him. They kept trying to dull his shine put out his fire but he kept burning determined to stay alive.
Playing many roles willing to learn it all so he can progress in the BS ranks they created. He was one to take charge and organize everything while they kept trying to change the schedule on him. Things didn't always fall in his favor but he was willing adapt and adjust. He was not going to be overlooked or ignored these changes lit a fire under him

As you get older you can't keep doing the same stuff. You don't recover the same and the body goes through more changes even after puberty. The desire and rush fades away sometimes you ignore the delusions stay away from things because you don't agree or want no part of that nonsense. Years of fighting over meaningless stuff you turn your back walk away don't empower the BS. Do what makes you happy focus on being better sometimes you help others on the way other times you need to help yourself. As I get older it's like racing time.
Lots of reaching the top but breaking through on the glass ceiling is the hard part. Doing things that you'd never do or because they told you it couldn't be done. Proving people wrong but they don't care don't be distracted and blinded by people who don't care about you. Use you and take you for granted you deserve much more and better. Helping others can be rewarding but found most are not greatful and don't appreciate your efforts but the ones who do make your efforts feel worth your time.
Times changes don't like that I have to give up my values or beliefs to be accepted. Respect was a big thing if you didn't have it you're nobody. Now a days so many things don't make sense but that's what's trending. I've grown and learned to be happy with myself and work with what I have. It's been a tough road in denial of what the future has become but do respect the reality even if I disagree.
From my teens to my thirties seen and experienced so much you can't stay in the past things change all those road blocks and detours go away. Never too late don't lose hope because it hasn't happened yet.

Vick was ready to BBQ, once he got his liver transplant. He wanted to eat and celebrate with everyone that supported and believed in him.
Show them love back because he never felt worthy. The right people loved and accepted him. He gave it to God feeling blessed.
Always fighting to exist to be heard. It was hard growing up, always grateful and thankful. He spoke up made a face, waiting for a reaction. Someone was always mad or easily offend.
He wasn't sensitive that tough skin made him grow. Be able to eat good food without worrying his liver would fail or die watching what he consumed. He wanted to be normal tired of being the outcast, the outsider looking in.

He wrestled with the struggle
Trying to be a good person
Be a better person others proved his kindness
He smiled when he was angry
Acted like it didn't bother him
Deep down it tortured his being
He wanted to speak up  biting his lip
But would be seen as the mean one
Put his foot down standing tall left alone
On the outside wanting in
Once inside he wanted out
Too many rules that didn't apply to him
They went against him all the time
He didn't want to take on the world
Also not afraid to swing back

Things changed she got dumb and selective about calling. She made it awkward her way or no way he was done with all her rules and over being an option. No more responding to a text or waiting for a call. He made time for her but she could care less. He respected he choices and she made him feel bad about for his. She was not good for him so he decided not to be involved or make time. They are no longer going to be the same and things are not meant to be so not making the same mistakes departing is the best way to go. Best way to go not going back but forward this mistake made one too many times never again. Calming to love but actions tell other wise not waiting not staying time to go so good bye friend

Taking risks and lost it all
Still crazy enough to come back
Can't get enough wanting more
Haters don't try and hate on you
Doing nothing expecting something
Put in the time to earn your place
Another mad face in the way
No time for drama it's pay day
Worked for mine earned every cent
Taking credit for work not done
makes no sense always on offense
Liars defensive scam and planning
Working to win focused on greatness
Tired of all cheaters piggybacking
Never accepted by family standards
Only rejected by made-up rules
Being myself not what someone said
Winning even when narrative is false
Twisted words fueled by manipulation
Trying to infect others' perspectives
Traditions not in your best interest
Pushing limits rising up a level
Being restricted feeling stuck
It's hard to move, not able to breathe

As we grow up some of us are close
We grow a part but with family it's forever
Sometimes we get mad at one other
Other times we have nothing but love making memories
Use to being a unit other times we got on one anothers nerves
We pray for the best some can only get and achieve so much
Others have it all and continue to work for it
Cousins are best friends that make family closer
Uncles give advice even if you don't ask
Siblinigs make you strong most of the time arguing and fighting due to conflict of interest
When all is forgiven everything feels right the bond grows closer

Ending the night writing before bed making it easier to sleep. Over all the bad focused on good. Some pictures have him asking what else is going on. He remembers the good time followed by the bad hand in hand. More loss than gains in those moments.
This journey a long way to go, can't go back that means losing progress. Hoping it would change same old BS different day. Same hostility different crow that wants a say. Not easily manipulated or following the deceitful majority.
He learned to ask questions, and do his own thing. Before he cared which empowered people, who used him took him for granted. Now hes matching energy not get drained by those who chose misery over happy. He respected their decision so many impositions.