Closer to seeing this event happen going down out of town. Away from home to experience the journey new encounters seeing into that world that culture onto something new hard to read signs to clues. Still feeling like an outcast not belong anywhere. So much haze proving himself. He worked hard gave his own didn't complain glad to be part of something. Even if they prejudged him made him out to be someone he's not. He didn't care for politics all he wanted was to finish and do his job right without burden or frustration. He stopped drinking relapse was the worse idea. Drinking with people who assume and expect the worse for problems they made. He took the blame while they were quick to blame someone else.
He reminded them they were blessed they had someone who loved them and kids that make them out to be the world telling not to ruin or mess that up for themselves. He didn't have much but made the the most of things and thankful for all the blessings. He was grateful and tired of holding back minding his mouth because his honesty usually got him in trouble.

Sometimes people try to make you feel small because you are a threat to their power trip. Not interested in that role not trying to complicate things, but work hard do what's right. Keep striving to improve be better.
People don't always listen because they just want to tell you.
Writing has been therapy you bounce the idea around try to figure it out like a rubix cube. Able to make sense of these temporary feelings and emotions putting them into perspective.

When you leave move on to a new chapter sometimes you want to take people with you
Starting over: new friends, new home, new beginnings
You don't want to replace old friends but people come and go like the seasons
A new home is like a shell you move into a new one because you out grew the old one.
Some things you don't want them to end
The hardest part is starting but the worse part is when it comes to an end
A new start is great but getting comfortable always makes change seem overwhelming
The heart is with home where it all started to grow
Leaving is a struggle to become an individual become independent
Some will always see you as a child no matter how old you grow
Tough love made you strong able to sense wrong not easily mainpulated or mean to be controlled
You protect your heart even thought it was once worn on your sleeve
Gone so far not going back older wiser never the same

Banged up from training back up
So much training to remember
Giving your all to the sport
Taking the good cutting off the bad
Trying to progress compete against others
Earn a stripe rise to the next level
Working hard to challenge yourself
Camp mode dieting watch what you eat
Improve by repeating applying technique
Take downs by grabbing a leg or double
Grips to restrain the opponent
Find the dominate position with control
Frame up the move for points
Find an escape in a tough situation
Keep moving go strong go hard
Piecing together the moves to get success

Told not to associate with the snitch
Now a days everyone takes pride in doing so
Trying to help out now you talking behind everyone back
Ain't no one talking about you or your ways
Trying to make calls tell people how to live
Get your life together before looking down on others
Talking about others don't make you a better person
Thinking you are better is not the same as acting like you are
Trying to use false narratives to get others to be in your side
Expecting others to be loyal you double crossed them as well
Sooner or later your word holds no credibility
Doing wrong trying to justify it as right
After being ignored no one is fighting to be around
Make it easier to leave without any doubt
Trying to use others as a pond in the scheme
Everyone will know the truth see your true colors
See through the act eventually no one feels bad for you

Trying to show love to good people
Eyes with perspectives seeking better
Focused on good doing improving
Always kept out looking in
Holidays a depressing time
Should be with family in comfort
Sharing a meal family function
Bring up old dysfunction causing stress
Made you feel bad for chasing a dream
Pointing out the flaws insecurities
Trying to be one's self without doubt
The tension escalates together
After ignoring one another all year
Breaking from the old family
Starting a new hoping the old would gel
Come together make new memories
Positive vibes instead of the old habits
Create a new book change the traditions

He wondered if he'd ever be normal again laying in the dark. Elevating his feet because they'd swell up. Waiting for that call from Arizona that 480 area code for a possible donor.
It's sad but the person signed up for it to help others. The person needs to pass in under 45 minutes once the plug is pulled. The ***** is placed in a simulator to produce bile if that works the person waiting has to race to from CA to AZ. Once the ***** is set the person will get a liver as those calls are exciting but draining.
You tell a few people then feel like a disappointment because it hasn't happened yet. Somethings are beyond your control you have no say. He didn't want to miss work, or leave his coworker because work would pile up. He'd come back to a mess.
The problem was they can't get coverage and some complain trying to get his crew in trouble following procedure. They dk how it works but assume the job is easy. Catering to their needs already isn't enough.
Trying to use the union to manipulate everyone while harassing everyone in their little cliques that don't do anyone any favors out for their selfish gain

He entered the building ignoring his bitter employees focused on doing the work. A lead that pretends to care but all about himself. Every lie hurt his ears he got tired of listening doing his part and going home. That was his new mindset work with his given time then went home.
He was the overachiever in an underachiever. He took pride in his work while most settle gave up with no ambition. Everyone talking about each other but he wanted no part of that nonsense and craziness.
The betrayal was real not going back if the opportunity was real. He set boundaries and everyone looked at him like he was crazy.  
His health came up when he was sick he'd cover now they are saying he can't do his job now that he is better. It's the two faced people with their condescending tone that was extremely is exhausting.

He was cool with everyone never said anything about anyone. Focusing on work making it easier for himself. If others benefit that was a plus. He was hard working with little time feeling everything was a crunched trying to beat the clock.
He like to be alone since some people didn't always seem right for once he trusted his gut. Didn't say much but did listen and observe.

Taking risks and lost it all
Still crazy enough to come back
Can't get enough wanting more
Haters don't try and hate on you
Doing nothing expecting something
Put in the time to earn your place
Another mad face in the way
No time for drama it's pay day
Worked for mine earned every cent
Taking credit for work not done
makes no sense always on offense
Liars defensive scam and planning
Working to win focused on greatness
Tired of all cheaters piggybacking
Never accepted by family standards
Only rejected by made-up rules
Being myself not what someone said
Winning even when narrative is false
Twisted words fueled by manipulation
Trying to infect others' perspectives
Traditions not in your best interest
Pushing limits rising up a level
Being restricted feeling stuck
It's hard to move, not able to breathe

Beautiful memories between them
All that remains is a crime scene
Evidence that was once love
Damage feelings broken emotions
Left over from all the carnage
The anger from the betrayal
Running up the tab of pain
Soon the receipt would come
Both would be stuck paying
Contribution to something tarnished
Harsh words exchanged to cut deep
Nothing lived just bleeding out
The soul slipped away lifeless
Two corpses remain infected by death
A cold case of the flatline relationship

Not to fond of the holidays thanksgiving a time to be around family but year around no one gets along or talks unless favors are needed. Can't eat turkey because being allergic just means eat ham. Don't really have traditions but a sister is making the notion that we should start our own traditional feast. Not too fond of the ideas being forced to interact with brothers that make everything person but claim it's a joke. Once you return the favor they can not dish what they serve. Love family but not like them and never felt like one of them. Blood doesn't make you family because close friends treat you like you belong and matter.
Christmas is a time for family as well but not expecting gifts or giving them out. Usually go with and aunt or best friend never feels like anyone is into the season. After these times are over life goes back to normal. Where family doesn't talk or impose their ways. Not close to anyone because being my own person means much. No awkward conversations about being single or talking about my personal life with a stranger. Like privacy but being able to feel safe when expressing my thoughts instead of everything being used against me for some useless argument that has nothing to do with me because not empowering that nonsense walking away makes it easier then having to encounter misconduct by family that in their mind is seen as looking out.

As his elders retired he felt the pressure being in the heart of the town the curb appeal would need to be kept up. The bar was set high but no pressure that was the joke among the crew.
Change was coming the trio awaited their fourth member all they wanted was someone who worked and got their stuff done took pride in their work. Not expecting too much but did want this person to carry their load fill that burden without designating it to others.

Changing crowds has been helpful
Away from the toxic negative people
Vibing on the team and success
Seeing the hard work pay off
Putting in the time paying dues
Seeing one of you team mates move up
Makes you want to do the same
Be better you know what
Needs to be done to get there
Get more technical with things
Improve your performance
Be about it stop talking
Tired of being stuck
Over being in the transition
Get to the next level
Challenge yourself everyday

Anytime you do a project or step on a stage
You don't want it to end that world feels right
Once you go back to reality it's never the same
That moment of fame becomes a high when you come down you can't get enough

Things don't make sense anymore
Once was wrong not it's right
So many turn a blind eye
don't care unless it's about them
Broke free to be on my own
Too much going on in the mind
Hard to sleep thoughts are deep
Asking do I have it anymore
Does it matter will I make a difference
What happened to me, who I was
Can't be that person anymore
so many remind me of who I was
instead of accepting me for who I am
Who I've become not sure anymore
Things will never be the same
Grow and changed can't live in the past
Smile is real not faking it since it's real
so many mistake it for weakness

The odds against him
Not scared or backing down
Pushed back not getting punked
Proved them wrong time
And time again meant for better
Not settling for less another
Rising up against the crazy
Moving forward part of the struggle

Dating it use to be easy you ask a girl out
It was about *** before but it's harder to get to know a person.
Now that you are looking for someone to be your other half share experiences with
The roles have switched times have changed
Women liked men who took charge and preferred to be wined and dined
Now a days everyone wants the perks of a relationship and don't want to commit
No one settles for one love but things being loved by many will last
As I get older it does not get easier sometimes the younger generation are interested and not always a match
Age is just a number but when you feel like your number is being called it's not what you expect
Loyal and true to the wrong people while they accuse you of cheating when they are the ones commiting these decietful acts
Saying I love you to the one feels right when you just say it the word love loses value
Meaningless *** leave you feeling meaningless value lost within from head to toe

They left you alone trying to throw heats of shade your way. Only calling you when they need something half the time you treat me different looking down on me. I mind my own don't care to come around. You know me down but I'm back up. What's worse is your my blood instead of backing me up your cursing me for not following. I'm my own person could handle being alone while you all gang up on me. Make me feel over the edge but not jumping off falling you're not responsible for my fate. Walking strong never giving up on my faith focused on destiny. You're not helping me you have no right or no say in my life. My self-esteem builds more confident the less I interact standing talk not letting you hold me back putting doubt in my head not listening to lies these rumors you spread. You'll try to beat me only way is when I'm dead. Deep frustrations coming out not pretending to be your friend I let the drama die not letting you in my head free from you no more dreading the day moving on no need to stay.

Asked a question
It doesn't sound right
Trying to follow the logic
Moral code set in place
Not letting others dictate
Did the work didn't complain
Looked out spoke out wasn't heard
Excluded kept out avoiding drama
Change and turn the page
Still learning and growth is desired
Not taking on the settling ego
Never settle for average be more
Hasn't happened yet in the works

He danced with his loneliness while they looked down on him. He loved them but held onto all those horrible things they said. He thought who do they think are; what gives them the right to think, they could talk to him that way.
He was always respectful minded his mouth. He didn't get involved hed provide a solution but it just lead to more problems. Sad and disturbed by the harsh reality. He seen them ***** ppl only a matter of time till he took the knife of betrayal.