Sometimes I feel like I don't belong
Looking in from the other side
Once I'm in still not so close
So many obstacles to overcome
You seek a home always on the roam
Trying to find where I belong
keep moving strong going forward never back
Hard to get close to anyone broken trust
Be me wander the world be free

Wired different from everyone
Told to be a tough but sensitive always hiding it
A lover struggle within not sure how to feel.
Always have something to say
Feelings get the best of everything
Told her how I felt she didn't love me back
I held it all in she left and never looked back
Dreaming big barely getting by fighitng to survive
Feels like things are dieing need to be revived
Hard to breathe need to make a move
Praying for love hopeless with romance
Love hate turns into loves to hate
Career not paying out with many more fears
Over the suffering wipping tears still here
Another expression seen like a protest
Standing tall for change things remain the same
Paid dues picked everyone else it's true
Stood talk for the crew all the betrayal
Turned their back treated cruel
Moved on found passion staying loyal pure true

When you see someone you love in a whole new light
The memory not corresponding to the current action.
All the good times turned to bad, failed but glad it happened
From a leader to a follower not the person I use to know
Seen you as strong, we use to bond. now you are weak and submissive.
When it came to me I got the third degree and tough love
Now you crumble before my eyes in my mind asking why
The person I once knew is no longer you
As I grow no longer the same person you once knew
From single to married mother of two
I always wanted you but never saw our future in that light
Failed and broken at the end of the night
When I was single you always belong to someone else
The time I was in a relationship you were single and expressed interest
Put in a situation leave my current relationship
Leave for someone who gave me a chance
For someone I wanted now it could be a reality
Is it meant to be or would guilt consume me over desire that could later scar burnt by misery
Always in my head fear of making the wrong decision both felt right but sometimes things that felt right could lead to making bad a decision.

Some days are fine or days my thoughts are stuck in a loop. Hard to breathe trying to compose myself sometimes it feels like my mind is slipping away. The time goes slower than normal. Hard to relax feeling tense and unable to rest so restless. Fresh air hits my face a sense of feeling sometimes the world around feels grey and dark. Trying to connect years of being rejected and disconnected. Things don't make sense to me but no one seems to get or understand my way or thought process. Heart racing beating in my throat. Taste of stomach acid in my mouth.

In his mind that moment he seen it
But knew what needed to be done
He loved the sport wanted to add
His influence be part of it of it
The training to make it to the next level
Taking time making them steps
Going through the motions
Slowing it down being smart
Taking calm trying not to over react
Laying on his back trying to see it
Imagine himself doing it with finesse
Doing it right staying focused on the game

Sometimes you have to cut ties
You get tired of lies and stories
They have no respect for you
If they could lie to your face
Trying to BS their way through
Rather than work hard to earn it
Don't borrow money or say you will
If you can pay your debt
Eventually your words mean nothing
Holding no value a lost cause
Stop wasting others time
Trying to make manipulate others
With a bias agenda an evil demeanor
Fueled by hate and anger the ugly side
Not empowering the insanity
Or feeding into passive selective hearing
Not playing those mindgames walked away
Silence is strong focused on being better
Where the weak are loud in protest
Trying to make a camp of followers
To hate a person for having an opinion and being different

He liked her but didn't feel worthy. It was what he wanted but it didn't feel right. Everything felt rushed or unresolved forced made out to be something it wasn't.  Scared to lose her but he never had her.
She was with someone else and he watched her from a distant. A friend with a crush becoming a distant stranger. From hearing her complain about her relationship to an awkward silence. It was a done deal he didn't know how to fix it or make things right a lost cause.
He let go walked away feeling like he left part of himself behind. It he waited around he'd feel dead inside hating himself more. Never had a chance or made a move he felt the vibe there was chemistry he wanted to believe but there was always a roadblock or conflict of interest that kept them apart.

He gave up his dream for love and it didn't work out. Learning to love himself trying to get back on track. He's not far from success but knows it will take hard work to get there. Battled up hill battles and struggled to make it through make it to the end the others side no where to run or hide. He couldn't avoid his destiny when the people he loved became a distraction. More road blocks and obstacles he didn't need or want the toxic to destroy his vision.

Don't know where to start
Or sure where to begin
So many ideas thoughts bouncing around
Do they mean anything will they get me anywhere
Trying to help but no one cares
Went away not expecting others to beg or stay
Learned so much changed tried to fit in
Don't belong or not meant to be
Being alone writing takes the memories away
Sets it all free held onto everything
Thought it would matter mean something
Too bad it's not important to me
Making others happy but not happy it's where I ended up because not what I see myself doing
Not where I should be or doing what was set out to be done
Learned how to treat people interact trying to move up someone told me if you help others it makes you successful and find gratification. Sometimes helping the wrong people but doing the right thing
Staying loyal and true to all the wrong people most of all staying true to myself looking at what's within not settling failed but crazy enough to comeback for more. Won't take no but it's all others throw my way shades of hate comes with pursuing greatness.
Encouraging others to pursue happiness while others discourage sending negativity so they can knock you feel equal but insecurity false sense of empowerment

He was given a rod excited to go fishing. So many styles depending on the water and type of fish. Such a pricy hobby, but he's loving it. They encouraged him it was motivating and inspiring.
Get out there, and do it that's how you learn get to the next level. Talking about quiting becoming a pro. Inspired by a dream not many pursue it. Keep on writing, keep on fighting to catch the prize lots of seeing it thinking about it.

Sometimes is normal but shouldn't be
You respect it but disagree breaking free
Changing the old way make it better
Losing yourself in the process
Adding some ***** to the persona
Being yourself and caring more than most
A good guy turned seen as a heel
Asking questions trying to understand
Having an opinion standing on moral ground

I know it's not too late but sometimes I pray things went right went accordingly. It feels awfu being the oldest it *****; you set examples and no one follows amounted to anything. You set trends and criticized now everyone turning a blind eye and doing it. I don't drink but when I did I drank like a fish it was fun. Then everyone joined the party and ruined it for me. I drank for fun while others drank because work ***** or going through a tough time.
As I get older I question my place and where I belong. Learn things and get bored seeking answers found closure so many people frustrate me.

So back in the days when I was a wild college student. I loved to drink and be very social, according to my coworker who was a high paid secretary said I was a wild child. On my down time when I wasn't being studious my peeps and I would have fun drink and meet girls. I'm over protective of my friends but did be a wing man for my Bros. I had a friend who liked a girl was not too tolerant of her but did down play my ego for my friend. Drinking is fun when people don't hate life or going through a break up feeling sorry for themselves. (Been on both sides) anyway one day the boys and I were drinking with this girl and her friends one was nice dating my friend now that I  recall. and the other was a pain in the *** wanting to be the center of attention. It was easy to block them out alcohol made things fun. Sober me disagrees but what does he know he's a loner. We drank at my friend's apartment a real **** hole but it was better than living in the doors. We would drink jack and coke fun times with the fellas. We got pretty wasted no one ate yet not like we could being struggling college students. This annoying girl decides to say let's get food. Most people don't drink in the morning but this was breakfast of champions. She says "let's get Dennis" everyone puzzled looking at one another *** is this girl talking about. She responds with "you know that place that serves breakfast all day." Ohh.... You mean Denny's sounds good. Let's go....

People ask why I title my poem QW which means quick write. I'm usually just getting out; ideas and what's on my mind. Not good at titles, I'm usually straight to the point; nothing fancy, or too crazy. I feel connected to others; especially if they can relate, everyone has a struggle or problems. Some handles them differently, I do it with writing and making the most of life and thankful for what I got.

Sober living accused of drinking
No longer the decoy or one to blame
Was always loyal and true getting hate
While you lie and cheat, sneaking around finally got caught up
Talking bold while intoxicated now that you sobered up not saying much or anything
Always the scapegoat for those in the wrong
Got use to being alone made it easier to grow
Don't blame others for your mistakes it's your life so own up
Use admire your way of life turns out you are worse off
Knocked me, told me to be someone, I was not and did not agree with
You cheat and play victim once they leave you and move on
Learned from your ways told myself be better
Why are you two faced; one fake to those who care about you acutally looking out
The other bad mouthing to those who don't care about your safety or well being.
Once I walked away you are no longer my problem and no longer my concern
Use to worry but you like to slaunder my name

From trying to be a team player to handling business and going home
Over all the gym politics some people had help where he had to work to pay for his classes
Work took him away from practicing what he loved.
His so called team gave him crap lots of time conflict and restrictions
Trying to enjoy himself excluded by those arrogant practitioner.
Feared another injury trying to get better feeling like a tackling dummy
Trying to perfect the technique use what was learned apply what's being taught
Wanting to work and compete but it felt like an off season. Learning it'd out there you have to seek it no one will get you there you have to want it.

They called him the Golden child
He went off to college learned live
He was a fighter determined to survive
Who knew it wasn't a sure thing
Lots of personal growth no longer afraid
Failed before nothing can stop him anymore

He closed his eyes to relax compose himself. While his opponent used muscle burning out. Being yelled at "why are you closing your eyes?" Staying collected waiting for the moment to counter and strike back from defense to offense. Trying to take control of the situation bounce back from all the criticism. He could see those haters faces knowing his time and moment would come where they'd be quiet because he proved them wrong.
Being told no but was doing it. Being disrespected but still having respect for people who ran their mouth. Knowing they aren't better that's why they keep talking. Knowing the sport trying to improve grow within stay involved even as age limits movement. Trying to stay active and healthy for the most part challenging the mind to do more the body to never quit keep pushing through all the tiredness.
From a bad team to making his own liking when people bring put the best in him instead of the worse. He wanted to grow with that team if they won he would feel proud to be part of it. But if things went wrong he'd get back into his lab come up with new ideas and drills to be much better learn from the mistakes improve on the good new strategies a new game plan for the next match.

The first time they met big smiles on their face. She had curly hair like curly fries. He was charming with a large personality. She was out going and seductive. While he was funny and charming. The day they met locking eyes their was an electric charge in the air. They both had chemistry with one another. She had been in a relationship. The guy was new to the whole experience he always had female friends but it was nothing more. He was use to the friend zone but with her this was a different experience. She was an only child and had lived with her mother. He was the oldest of six and both parents in his life.
They hung out a few times but he was happy to hang with her he didn't expect much but did have feelings. Her personality has her well know because of her athletic background. He liked to work out because it kept his mind sharp. He was a thinker observer and analyzed everything. The puppy love between them grew he was hooked the first time they kissed this kiss was electric full of energy. He was shy but once she brought him out of his shell he was growing developing communication skills since he grew up less fortunate learning to go without. She was spoiled and use to her way. He was nervous because he always thought his past would effect his future. He enjoyed the time they spent together. They would talk about things get to know one another personal deep conversation.  He has a hard time trusting because he had been hurt grew up with tough love. He didn't like the idea of lowering himself to be accepted or giving up who he was to be liked. She admired his courage and would make him feel valued. He did feel for her but he had been hurt in high school. His so called best friend got with his crush. He no longer wanted to associate with people who wronged him made him feel he didn't matter or belong. She told him he would be okay. He was not good with his emotions because his honesty got him hated when all he did wrong was tell the truth. He feared telling her how he felt because he didn't want her to see him differently cause her to change how she felt about him. The beginning is always fun stimulating and romantic getting to know the person what they like and how unique and special those moments could be.

We can't hang because you do dumb stuff on your girl
And try to blame me for your actions
I tolerate your girl because of you
Never talked about your girl ever
She always talking about everyone she's no better done worse like cheating and you still trust her
Saying its over never again then going back
Easier to stay single than get caught up in the mind games
Over all the lies and contradictions not responsible for your happiness
While you drain everyone causing chaos frustration

The love for family is strong
It's more than a pretty picture
You need to put forth effort
Don't complain or get jealous
When you get asked
But refuse to participate
It could be fun give it a chance
Don't let your bad attitude
Ruin a fun moment for others
How do you expect others to know you
When you close them out give the 3rd degree
Take interest in others
Don't be about yourself
Sometimes the road is lonely
The journey has people
Who love and care for you
You need to meet them half way
Let people be themselves open up
Don't try to force control the moment
Thankful for the new memories
Closer to cousins and new friends
Can't wait around need to live
Especially on borrowed time
Health is not great but still able
Thankful for the help pushing through
Love the team don't want to fail
Trying to do my own thing not lead

The cold windy breeze
Birds chirping in the distance
Leaves ruffling against one another
The clouds setting the mood making it dim
Nature vibes so intense; quiet compared to the city
Natures natural beauty so pretty
The city so loud best feeling to escape the crowd

He wanted to learn but you can only do that by doing. Reading up on it does nothing applying the material makes you learn and understand better. Always asking questions people can't explain or never give a reason it's frustrating to see some cheat the system get ahead without knowing covering their but they are willing to sacrifice others by throwing them under to distract others from seeing their flaws and mistakes.
Doing the work to get there makes it worth it but learning and being able to do so

Most people treasure moments a favorite on that soothes my heart and takes me away. Most date but my first one was special. I asked her out I was surprised she said yes. He warm smile that melted my heart. Her hair curly like curly fries.
I was nervous for the day I bought new clothes kept it fresh. We went out for her birthday to celebrate her. I was honored to share the night with her.
I'd walk to her dorm this was a magical moment in college. We'd walk to the restaurant holding hands talking. I was a gentlemen man so I walked by the street. We would arrive at this restaurant. I didn't make reservations so we sat at the bar; we enjoyed a meal shared a kiss.
We walked back home stopped at a coffee shop. I don't like coffee so I had had hot chocolate. Watched the Live band till our drinks were ready
We'd go back to her room nervous and shy never been alone with a girl before. We'd kiss and lay on her bed then she'd hug me rest her head on my shoulder. We'd talk till she fell a sleep. I'd tuck her in let her rest. Kiss her and Appreciate this night with her everything felt right for once.

Working harder than most
Never scared not backing down
DIY finding a way to get it out
Rise to the next level trail blazing
Pursue a dream everything mentally
Drained physically fighting to give it life
Others point out the wrong tear it down
Than give credit for doing right
Focused on mistakes drawing blood
Instead of blessing the effort
All the hard work mininalised
Standing tall alone hoping to unit
Trying to bring others together
While the division grows over time
Keeping everyone apart no love